Destiny Lost
#1: In the Space of a Heartbeat
Authors: Sonya and Erin
E-mail: sonyajeb@swbell.net OR carynsilver@yahoo.com
Rating: PG-13
Category: B/X, AU, action/adventure, romance
Summary: An accident seconds before being chosen causes the Slayer Essence to skip Buffy, leaving her a normal girl. Then, a year and a half later, her mom's new job and her parents' divorce brings Buffy and her mother to Sunnydale, where Buffy comes in contact with the world of the night and a young man dedicated to its destruction.
Disclaimer: We do not own Buffy or any of the original characters or ideas from the show. They all belong to Joss, Mutant Enemy, etc. All we own is our own creative genius (unless that's too strong a word :) and any characters we make up.
Distribution: Sure, just let us know where it is!
Feedback: Love it! We want to know your likes AND dislikes. Flames are the only thing we do not accept.
Spoilers: Basic BtVS mythology and vampire/slayer lore
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Chapter 23
The Library
When Sonya's tears were spent, Giles tenderly picked her up and set her back in her chair. She seemed so fragile in his arms, but at least she'd stopped crying.
"How do you feel?" he asked, and then realized how stupid that sounded. "I mean, besides the obvious. Are there any side effects we need to be aware of?" Giles retreated into a more official manor to cover a sadness and confusion that he didn't want to show Sonya. He was the adult -- he had to be the strong one for her.
"Nauseous," Sonya said softly. "And cold." She paused, and then looked up. "And weak."
"You may feel... 'weak' as you say... for awhile," Giles said, taking off his glasses and cleaning them with his handkerchief just for something to do with his hands. "It could be a natural side effect for the Slayer Essence leaving your body."
"Will it last?"
Giles put his glasses back on. "Your body is used to the extra strength of being a Slayer. I think your feeling of weakness will pass when your body gets used to being without it." He picked up the photocopy of the spell. "As far as I know, this spell has never been used -- at least not in recent histroy. The side effects aren't documented."
Sonya nodded, trying to put on a brave face.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The van rushed along the windy road at top speed. Oz was a good driver, and had shaken the last of the vamps -- two of which who had tried to jump aboard through the open sliding door. Those two were now sporting broken bones and severe tire damage, at least until their healing powers kicked in. Spike reclined on the floorboard, lost in thought. Angel sat in the front seat with his head turned to keep an eye on Spike. Buffy and Xander sat on opposite sides of the back seat.
Buffy didn't know what to think. Things had been happening so fast. It felt awkward to be around Xander right now. Her feelings were so conflicted: love, hurt at the way he'd left her in the Bronze, confusion after what Nathan had said -- that they'd all known of her so-called 'powers' -- and there was still some lingering pride from the way she'd handled herself in that fight. Buffy hadn't known she had an aptitude for that sort of thing. She felt strong and energized. If they'd been walking instead of riding in the van, she would have been running for the sheer joy of it.
Xander slid her a sidelong glance. "They didn't hurt you or anything, did they?"
"No," Buffy said, glancing at him from under her lashes.
"So... do I need to file official documentation? Should it be stamped, notorized or what?"
Buffy looked at him in surprise. His quirky, shy smile could still warm her heart. "What are you talking about?"
"To start the makeup proceedings... I've never had a girlfriend before. I don't know how to get the ball rolling here."
"I'm your girlfriend?" Buffy gasped, happiness flooding into her heart.
"Well, I'm not really in the market for a love slave right now, so I thought maybe girlfriend..." Xander looked at her hopefully. Then he pouted playfully, "Will you please be my cuddle-monkey?"
It was his puppydog eyes that won her over. Buffy laughed and launched herself across the seat and into his arms. Xander grunted when her force knocked his head into the back window.
Buffy looked at him in surprise. "I'm sorry. I guess I was more excited than I thought..."
"Or the fact that you're the Slayer now could have somethin' to do wi' it."
Everyone (except Oz who was driving) stared at Spike in shock.
"What?" Xander demanded.
Nathan's words came back to Buffy, and she frowned. "That sorcerer guy told me that you all *knew* I was supposed to be the Slayer before Sonya. I'm not really sure what all that means, but I can't believe you didn't tell me!" Her gaze fell upon Xander especially.
Xander looked from Buffy to Spike and back again. "Hey," he said, holding out his hands, "I'm just as clueless here as you are."
Angel spoke next. "I knew, but no one else figured it out until after you were kidnapped." Then he glared at Spike. "But how do *you* know?"
Spike shrugged. "I've whacked a few Slayers in my day. It ain't hard to tell when you know what yer lookin' for."
After a moment, Angel explained about the spell, and that Giles had planned to attempt it while they were rescuing Buffy. "So, apparently, it worked."
Buffy's eyes grew wide. "That explains why I could shoot like that... Wow -- this is kind of cool. You mean I can fight with extra strength, have great aim, heal fast and all that?"
Angel and Xander exchanged a look. She didn't know what she was getting into.
Then a thought struck Xander. "But what about Sonya?" Even Buffy's smile fled at that thought.
"We won't know until we get there," Angel said, "but I guess she's just Sonya again."
Behind the wheel, Oz sighed, but his inegmatic expression never changed.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Once they got to the school, everyone piled out of the van and headed inside, not quite sure what to expect. Buffy was nervous. What would Sonya say to her when she found out that Buffy had recieved all of her Slayer powers? She wasn't really looking forward to the confrontation. As they were walking, Xander reached out and took Buffy's hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. She looked up at him and smiled, grateful for his presence.
Once they reached the library's double doors, Angel pushed them open and everyone filed in, Angel coming in last. As they walked into the center of the room, Spike turned around and gave the place a once-over. He frowned. "You know, this place looks bigger from outside."
Giles walked out of his office and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Spike standing there with the others. Grabbing a cross, he held it out at arms length toward the blond vampire and said, "What is HE doing here?"
Xander shrugged. "He helped us out at the factory, so we gave him a lift. We have a temporary truce, so he shouldn't cause any trouble." Giving Spike a serious look, Xander added, "Not if he wants to make it out of here without a stake in the heart."
Spike plopped down in a nearby chair and propped his feet up on the reading table. "HE has a name, you know," he commented dryly.
Xander rolled his eyes. "Whatever, Spike."
After a moment of silence, Oz spoke up. "Where's Sonya?"
Giles glanced toward the library doors. "The ladies room. She needed a moment to herself, I suppose." Then he looked at Buffy with a keen eye. "And how is Miss Summers?"
Buffy felt odd under his scrutiny. Was he going to be her trainer now? She knew a lot of stuff about Xander, Giles and Sonya's world, but she didn't have all the details and terminology down yet. And as far as she knew, Giles didn't like her. She stared right back at him but didn't say anything.
It was Angel who answered the question. "The spell worked. We saw evidence of it during the battle. She adapted well."
"Good." Giles nodded. "That will be a positive asset. Er... Miss Summers..."
"Hold on," Buffy said, "let's just get one thing straight *Giles* -- no more of this 'Miss Summers' stuff. From what I understand, you're going to train me like you did Sonya, and that is much too much formality for me. Call me Buffy." She wondered what the librarian would say. It was the first time she'd ever called him Giles without the 'Mr.' part. Honestly, Buffy didn't know what to think of him. He seemed a decent sort -- always caring about Sonya and trying to save the world and all -- but the fact that he'd tried to keep her apart from Xander still rankled.
"Buffy," Giles repeated, trying it out on his tongue. "I think I can manage that." He smiled just a little at her.
Buffy smiled back, feeling a little more comfortable already.
"Now Miss... er... Buffy," Giles said briskly, "we need to talk. There are things for me to explain to you about your new destiny, and we have to set up a training schedule and..."
The library doors swung open, and Sonya rolled her chair inside. She looked paler than usual, but otherwise fine. Her eyes darted from one face to the other. Then Oz was by her side. He grabbed the handles of her chair and pushed her the rest of the way inside.
"I don't need any help!" she snapped.
"I know," Oz replied, but he kept pushing anyway, placing the chair in a prime spot where she could see everyone. Though Sonya was irked by the asperison cast on her ability to function, she was a little impressed at both his nerve and his caring. She gave him a glance of thanks, which he accepted with a tiny nod.
Then her eyes landed on the peroxide blond vampire resting his feet on the reading table. She glowered. "What is *he* doing here?"
Spike grinned at her. "I'm invited, baby. You can't do nothing about it."
The old Sonya wouldn't have let him get away with that, but this new girl -- a girl uncertain of herself in so many ways -- pressed her lips together tightly and averted her eyes. She could feel Xander's gaze on her -- she was always aware of him when he was in the room -- but she didn't return his look.
She waved her hand toward Giles, who was also looking at her with conern. There was so much concern and pity in the room it make her want to puke. "Go on with whatever you were saying to Buffy. Don't let me interrupt."
With one more look, Giles turned back to Buffy and started talking about destinies, the Chosen One, training schedules, unto one generation there is born only one girl..., the Slayer handbook... So many things were mentioned as he gave her a brief explaination of the rest of her life. The words echoed so clearly in Sonya's ears. He'd told her all that in the beginning, Giles, her Watcher... Then it hit home once again -- he wasn't *her* Watcher anymore, he was Buffy's!
"I'm going home to Kansas." Five pairs of eyes whipped around to look at Sonya with expressions of dismay, pain, guilt, pity and other things she couldn't identify -- Spike was examining his own fingernails in a bored fashion. Sonya continued, "My great-aunt lives there. I can stay with her."
"Why the bloody hell would you want to go to Kansas for?" Spike asked, looking up and straight into her eyes. "There ain't nothin' to do there except commune with the freakin' prairie dogs!"
"Are there prairie dogs in Kansas?" Xander muttered under his breath. "I thought they only lived in Texas."
Spike turned and glared at the boy. "They were metaphorical prairie dogs, ya stupid wanker!"
Xander glared right back at the vamp, but stifled whatever comment he'd been about to make when Sonya started talking again.
"Why do you think I'm leaving?" The words came out harsh, as she'd intended them to. "You've got Buffy now. You don't need me. And what good does it do me to stay on the Hellmouth when I'm crippled and weak and can't take care of myself!"
The venom behind the words made Buffy wince. She felt horribly guilty. As if she were stealing a life that didn't belong to her. And more than that -- somewhere along the line, Buffy had begun to actually like the other girl. Finally screwing up her courage enough to face Sonya's anger, Buffy blurted, "You can't go! If you leave, who's gonna show me the ropes?" She gestured toward Xander and Giles. "I mean, they're fine and dandy, but they don't know what it's like to be a girl and in this job. You're the only one who's been through it... who can advise me and let me in on the secrets... Like Xander or Giles would know how to fix one's hair for both attractiveness and fighting vampires!"
The bark of laugher that came out of her mouth surprised them all, but none more than Sonya. But though the laugh had a genuine core, there was still a rock-hard lump deep inside that wouldn't go away.
Then Xander walked over and crouched down until he was at eye level with Sonya. He reached out and touched her hand, a wealth of remorse in his eyes for the way he'd treated her earlier while on his Buffy-rampage. Though he didn't love her in the way she hadn't known for a long time that she wanted, Sonya knew that he did love her. They'd known each other for long enough, and the friendship had grown deep enough that Sonya could read his thoughts on his face. And he could read hers, too -- when she let him. This time she let him see in her eyes and on her face, what she couldn't say in words. That she loved him, and she was sorry she'd caused him pain by encouraging Giles to keep he and Buffy apart. Then Xander reached out and hugged her. She hugged him back. He pulled away and whispered, "Don't go, Wheels."
Oz walked up behind her and put a hand on her shoulder. She looked up in surprise. He didn't say anything, but then, he seldom did.
Her gaze found Angel. The vampire stood back, aloof from the emotions around the table. He inclined his head briefly. They didn't talk -- they never had. But the gesture told Sonya that even he wanted her to stay.
Sonya was torn. She wanted to stay, but she wanted to go. She didn't know what to do. Then Giles knelt down in front of her.
"As long as you stay, Sonya, you are welcome in my house. I may not say it enough, but you have always been an asset to us. Your life is more than powers you do or don't have." His voice clogged. Perhaps it was the Englishman in him that didn't want to emote. "You've... been to me... well... like the daughter I never had. If you go, I'll support you in the decision, but I'll miss you."
That finally won her over. "OK," she said, laughing through her tears, "I'll stay. If you guys can't live with out me..."
Spike pushed his chair away from the table with a loud clatter and stood up. "Why the hell am I hangin' 'round this joint? This is bloody boring." Then he walked out of the library, letting the doors swing shut behind him. Everyone was stunned silent for a moment, and then they all burst out laughing. Angel and Oz even cracked smiles.
Then Giles reminded them of their purpose. "Now, tell us everything that happened in the fight..." All details were shared. Xander told about Willow's demise, and Buffy got to explain about the red headed vamp's part in Drusilla's death. Angel looked a bit surprised at that point, but he accepted it with calmness.
"What about Spike?" Xander asked after they'd relived all the details of the very long evening. "Should we follow him or something? Try and take him out while he's down?"
Buffy shook her head. "Nah. Just let him go this time. I'd be willing to bet he stays away from Sunnydale for awhile. You know, the memories..."
"You can never bet on anything when you live on the Hellmouth," Sonya cautioned her. "The only thing I count on is to always expect the unexpected."
"Well, the next time he shows up, we'll put him out of his misery," Angel said. "But we did have a truce, at least for tonight."
"The rules of a truce can't be broken without dishonor," Oz said. When everyone looked at him, he shrugged.
Just then a high-pitched beeping filled the room. Buffy looked down at her watch. The alarm had gone off. It was 1 a.m. "Oh no!" she moaned. "That was my curfew. I'm late! I've got to go home or my mother will ground me for life!"
Everyone stood up, and prepared to call it a night.
"I'll drive you home," Xander offered to Buffy. "My jeep's right where I parked it when we got back from the Bronze." Then something occured to him. "The Bronze. It's gone. We'll never dance there again."
"My band will have to find a new gig," Oz said.
Giles rolled his eyes. "I'm sure you can all find a better, more cultured place to frequent..." He turned toward his office. "Oz, would you mind taking Sonya home in your van? I've got to go and write up a report for the Watchers' Council. I have some explaining to do to them."
Oz, Sonya, Angel, Buffy and Xander walked out into the parking lot. Angel slapped Xander on the back in farewell, and with one last, long look at Buffy he walked away alone.
Xander helped Sonya into the passenger seat of Oz's van. "See you at training tomorrow morning, Parker?" he asked. Pain flashed across his face when he realized what he'd unwittingly said, but it vanished when she actually smiled, just a little.
"I'll be there, Harris, and just because I'm not the Slayer anymore, don't think that I'll never be able to whip you again."
"I'm shakin' in my boots," Xander answered in the words of a common joke between the two of them. "See you then." He closed the door, and waved as the van pulled out of the driveway. Then he turned to Buffy, who was already perched in the passenger seat of his second-hand jeep -- the vehical didn't, and never had had, a top. When it rained, Xander took the bus.
As they drove the short distance from the school to Buffy's house, Xander put his arm around Buffy's shoulders. She rested a hand on his knee. It was a casual gesture, but it sent thrills of excitement throughout his body. They pulled up at the curb, and he turned off the motor. The second the car stopped, the porchlight snapped on.
"Mom's waiting," Buffy said.
"I hope you're not in trouble." Xander looked toward the house where a curtain moved.
Buffy shook her head. "I think I can talk her out of it. But I guess I can't tell her any of what really happened, can I?"
"Nope," Xander answered. "Just one of the rules of the slaying game."
"This is going to take a lot of getting used to."
"On all counts," Xander agreed.
The porch light blinked.
"Well," Buffy sighed, "I'd better go in."
Xander leaned over close and gave her a quick kiss. The kiss became longer as they both surrendered to it. Finally, Buffy pulled back, regret written all over her face. She looked at the porch, and then leaned in for one more kiss.
"I wish I didn't have to go in."
"Me, too." Then Xander grinned. "But there's always tomorrow at school. You know, I never really cared about that before."
Buffy smiled at him tenderly. "Yeah. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Giles will expect you there at 7:30 a.m. sharp," Xander warned.
"I'll be there." Buffy gave him one last kiss, and then hopped out of the jeep. She walked up to the porch and the door swung open to reveal Joyce. Xander waved to them both, and then drove away.
Joyce looked at Buffy in confusion. "Wasn't that Xander? I thought you weren't seeing him anymore..."
Buffy smiled softly. "We worked it out."
"Well, that's good," Joyce said, and then her voice took on a more motherly tone. "You know you missed curfew..."
"Yeah, I'm sorry."
Joyce smiled and gave Buffy a hug. "I forgive you, but don't do it again without calling, OK?"
"OK, Mom." Buffy turned and headed for the stairs. Then she looked back at her mom. "Hey, Mom, I love you."
Joyce looked surprised. "I love you, too, but what brought that on?"
Buffy shrugged. "Nothing really, it's just been a very full few days."
"Moving to a new place will do that," Joyce observed.
Buffy smiled. "I guess so. Good night!"
"Good night!" Joyce watched Buffy go upstairs with a maternal smile. Then she turned out the light and went to bed herself.
The End
#1: In the Space of a Heartbeat
Authors: Sonya and Erin
E-mail: sonyajeb@swbell.net OR carynsilver@yahoo.com
Rating: PG-13
Category: B/X, AU, action/adventure, romance
Summary: An accident seconds before being chosen causes the Slayer Essence to skip Buffy, leaving her a normal girl. Then, a year and a half later, her mom's new job and her parents' divorce brings Buffy and her mother to Sunnydale, where Buffy comes in contact with the world of the night and a young man dedicated to its destruction.
Disclaimer: We do not own Buffy or any of the original characters or ideas from the show. They all belong to Joss, Mutant Enemy, etc. All we own is our own creative genius (unless that's too strong a word :) and any characters we make up.
Distribution: Sure, just let us know where it is!
Feedback: Love it! We want to know your likes AND dislikes. Flames are the only thing we do not accept.
Spoilers: Basic BtVS mythology and vampire/slayer lore
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Chapter 23
The Library
When Sonya's tears were spent, Giles tenderly picked her up and set her back in her chair. She seemed so fragile in his arms, but at least she'd stopped crying.
"How do you feel?" he asked, and then realized how stupid that sounded. "I mean, besides the obvious. Are there any side effects we need to be aware of?" Giles retreated into a more official manor to cover a sadness and confusion that he didn't want to show Sonya. He was the adult -- he had to be the strong one for her.
"Nauseous," Sonya said softly. "And cold." She paused, and then looked up. "And weak."
"You may feel... 'weak' as you say... for awhile," Giles said, taking off his glasses and cleaning them with his handkerchief just for something to do with his hands. "It could be a natural side effect for the Slayer Essence leaving your body."
"Will it last?"
Giles put his glasses back on. "Your body is used to the extra strength of being a Slayer. I think your feeling of weakness will pass when your body gets used to being without it." He picked up the photocopy of the spell. "As far as I know, this spell has never been used -- at least not in recent histroy. The side effects aren't documented."
Sonya nodded, trying to put on a brave face.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The van rushed along the windy road at top speed. Oz was a good driver, and had shaken the last of the vamps -- two of which who had tried to jump aboard through the open sliding door. Those two were now sporting broken bones and severe tire damage, at least until their healing powers kicked in. Spike reclined on the floorboard, lost in thought. Angel sat in the front seat with his head turned to keep an eye on Spike. Buffy and Xander sat on opposite sides of the back seat.
Buffy didn't know what to think. Things had been happening so fast. It felt awkward to be around Xander right now. Her feelings were so conflicted: love, hurt at the way he'd left her in the Bronze, confusion after what Nathan had said -- that they'd all known of her so-called 'powers' -- and there was still some lingering pride from the way she'd handled herself in that fight. Buffy hadn't known she had an aptitude for that sort of thing. She felt strong and energized. If they'd been walking instead of riding in the van, she would have been running for the sheer joy of it.
Xander slid her a sidelong glance. "They didn't hurt you or anything, did they?"
"No," Buffy said, glancing at him from under her lashes.
"So... do I need to file official documentation? Should it be stamped, notorized or what?"
Buffy looked at him in surprise. His quirky, shy smile could still warm her heart. "What are you talking about?"
"To start the makeup proceedings... I've never had a girlfriend before. I don't know how to get the ball rolling here."
"I'm your girlfriend?" Buffy gasped, happiness flooding into her heart.
"Well, I'm not really in the market for a love slave right now, so I thought maybe girlfriend..." Xander looked at her hopefully. Then he pouted playfully, "Will you please be my cuddle-monkey?"
It was his puppydog eyes that won her over. Buffy laughed and launched herself across the seat and into his arms. Xander grunted when her force knocked his head into the back window.
Buffy looked at him in surprise. "I'm sorry. I guess I was more excited than I thought..."
"Or the fact that you're the Slayer now could have somethin' to do wi' it."
Everyone (except Oz who was driving) stared at Spike in shock.
"What?" Xander demanded.
Nathan's words came back to Buffy, and she frowned. "That sorcerer guy told me that you all *knew* I was supposed to be the Slayer before Sonya. I'm not really sure what all that means, but I can't believe you didn't tell me!" Her gaze fell upon Xander especially.
Xander looked from Buffy to Spike and back again. "Hey," he said, holding out his hands, "I'm just as clueless here as you are."
Angel spoke next. "I knew, but no one else figured it out until after you were kidnapped." Then he glared at Spike. "But how do *you* know?"
Spike shrugged. "I've whacked a few Slayers in my day. It ain't hard to tell when you know what yer lookin' for."
After a moment, Angel explained about the spell, and that Giles had planned to attempt it while they were rescuing Buffy. "So, apparently, it worked."
Buffy's eyes grew wide. "That explains why I could shoot like that... Wow -- this is kind of cool. You mean I can fight with extra strength, have great aim, heal fast and all that?"
Angel and Xander exchanged a look. She didn't know what she was getting into.
Then a thought struck Xander. "But what about Sonya?" Even Buffy's smile fled at that thought.
"We won't know until we get there," Angel said, "but I guess she's just Sonya again."
Behind the wheel, Oz sighed, but his inegmatic expression never changed.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Once they got to the school, everyone piled out of the van and headed inside, not quite sure what to expect. Buffy was nervous. What would Sonya say to her when she found out that Buffy had recieved all of her Slayer powers? She wasn't really looking forward to the confrontation. As they were walking, Xander reached out and took Buffy's hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. She looked up at him and smiled, grateful for his presence.
Once they reached the library's double doors, Angel pushed them open and everyone filed in, Angel coming in last. As they walked into the center of the room, Spike turned around and gave the place a once-over. He frowned. "You know, this place looks bigger from outside."
Giles walked out of his office and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Spike standing there with the others. Grabbing a cross, he held it out at arms length toward the blond vampire and said, "What is HE doing here?"
Xander shrugged. "He helped us out at the factory, so we gave him a lift. We have a temporary truce, so he shouldn't cause any trouble." Giving Spike a serious look, Xander added, "Not if he wants to make it out of here without a stake in the heart."
Spike plopped down in a nearby chair and propped his feet up on the reading table. "HE has a name, you know," he commented dryly.
Xander rolled his eyes. "Whatever, Spike."
After a moment of silence, Oz spoke up. "Where's Sonya?"
Giles glanced toward the library doors. "The ladies room. She needed a moment to herself, I suppose." Then he looked at Buffy with a keen eye. "And how is Miss Summers?"
Buffy felt odd under his scrutiny. Was he going to be her trainer now? She knew a lot of stuff about Xander, Giles and Sonya's world, but she didn't have all the details and terminology down yet. And as far as she knew, Giles didn't like her. She stared right back at him but didn't say anything.
It was Angel who answered the question. "The spell worked. We saw evidence of it during the battle. She adapted well."
"Good." Giles nodded. "That will be a positive asset. Er... Miss Summers..."
"Hold on," Buffy said, "let's just get one thing straight *Giles* -- no more of this 'Miss Summers' stuff. From what I understand, you're going to train me like you did Sonya, and that is much too much formality for me. Call me Buffy." She wondered what the librarian would say. It was the first time she'd ever called him Giles without the 'Mr.' part. Honestly, Buffy didn't know what to think of him. He seemed a decent sort -- always caring about Sonya and trying to save the world and all -- but the fact that he'd tried to keep her apart from Xander still rankled.
"Buffy," Giles repeated, trying it out on his tongue. "I think I can manage that." He smiled just a little at her.
Buffy smiled back, feeling a little more comfortable already.
"Now Miss... er... Buffy," Giles said briskly, "we need to talk. There are things for me to explain to you about your new destiny, and we have to set up a training schedule and..."
The library doors swung open, and Sonya rolled her chair inside. She looked paler than usual, but otherwise fine. Her eyes darted from one face to the other. Then Oz was by her side. He grabbed the handles of her chair and pushed her the rest of the way inside.
"I don't need any help!" she snapped.
"I know," Oz replied, but he kept pushing anyway, placing the chair in a prime spot where she could see everyone. Though Sonya was irked by the asperison cast on her ability to function, she was a little impressed at both his nerve and his caring. She gave him a glance of thanks, which he accepted with a tiny nod.
Then her eyes landed on the peroxide blond vampire resting his feet on the reading table. She glowered. "What is *he* doing here?"
Spike grinned at her. "I'm invited, baby. You can't do nothing about it."
The old Sonya wouldn't have let him get away with that, but this new girl -- a girl uncertain of herself in so many ways -- pressed her lips together tightly and averted her eyes. She could feel Xander's gaze on her -- she was always aware of him when he was in the room -- but she didn't return his look.
She waved her hand toward Giles, who was also looking at her with conern. There was so much concern and pity in the room it make her want to puke. "Go on with whatever you were saying to Buffy. Don't let me interrupt."
With one more look, Giles turned back to Buffy and started talking about destinies, the Chosen One, training schedules, unto one generation there is born only one girl..., the Slayer handbook... So many things were mentioned as he gave her a brief explaination of the rest of her life. The words echoed so clearly in Sonya's ears. He'd told her all that in the beginning, Giles, her Watcher... Then it hit home once again -- he wasn't *her* Watcher anymore, he was Buffy's!
"I'm going home to Kansas." Five pairs of eyes whipped around to look at Sonya with expressions of dismay, pain, guilt, pity and other things she couldn't identify -- Spike was examining his own fingernails in a bored fashion. Sonya continued, "My great-aunt lives there. I can stay with her."
"Why the bloody hell would you want to go to Kansas for?" Spike asked, looking up and straight into her eyes. "There ain't nothin' to do there except commune with the freakin' prairie dogs!"
"Are there prairie dogs in Kansas?" Xander muttered under his breath. "I thought they only lived in Texas."
Spike turned and glared at the boy. "They were metaphorical prairie dogs, ya stupid wanker!"
Xander glared right back at the vamp, but stifled whatever comment he'd been about to make when Sonya started talking again.
"Why do you think I'm leaving?" The words came out harsh, as she'd intended them to. "You've got Buffy now. You don't need me. And what good does it do me to stay on the Hellmouth when I'm crippled and weak and can't take care of myself!"
The venom behind the words made Buffy wince. She felt horribly guilty. As if she were stealing a life that didn't belong to her. And more than that -- somewhere along the line, Buffy had begun to actually like the other girl. Finally screwing up her courage enough to face Sonya's anger, Buffy blurted, "You can't go! If you leave, who's gonna show me the ropes?" She gestured toward Xander and Giles. "I mean, they're fine and dandy, but they don't know what it's like to be a girl and in this job. You're the only one who's been through it... who can advise me and let me in on the secrets... Like Xander or Giles would know how to fix one's hair for both attractiveness and fighting vampires!"
The bark of laugher that came out of her mouth surprised them all, but none more than Sonya. But though the laugh had a genuine core, there was still a rock-hard lump deep inside that wouldn't go away.
Then Xander walked over and crouched down until he was at eye level with Sonya. He reached out and touched her hand, a wealth of remorse in his eyes for the way he'd treated her earlier while on his Buffy-rampage. Though he didn't love her in the way she hadn't known for a long time that she wanted, Sonya knew that he did love her. They'd known each other for long enough, and the friendship had grown deep enough that Sonya could read his thoughts on his face. And he could read hers, too -- when she let him. This time she let him see in her eyes and on her face, what she couldn't say in words. That she loved him, and she was sorry she'd caused him pain by encouraging Giles to keep he and Buffy apart. Then Xander reached out and hugged her. She hugged him back. He pulled away and whispered, "Don't go, Wheels."
Oz walked up behind her and put a hand on her shoulder. She looked up in surprise. He didn't say anything, but then, he seldom did.
Her gaze found Angel. The vampire stood back, aloof from the emotions around the table. He inclined his head briefly. They didn't talk -- they never had. But the gesture told Sonya that even he wanted her to stay.
Sonya was torn. She wanted to stay, but she wanted to go. She didn't know what to do. Then Giles knelt down in front of her.
"As long as you stay, Sonya, you are welcome in my house. I may not say it enough, but you have always been an asset to us. Your life is more than powers you do or don't have." His voice clogged. Perhaps it was the Englishman in him that didn't want to emote. "You've... been to me... well... like the daughter I never had. If you go, I'll support you in the decision, but I'll miss you."
That finally won her over. "OK," she said, laughing through her tears, "I'll stay. If you guys can't live with out me..."
Spike pushed his chair away from the table with a loud clatter and stood up. "Why the hell am I hangin' 'round this joint? This is bloody boring." Then he walked out of the library, letting the doors swing shut behind him. Everyone was stunned silent for a moment, and then they all burst out laughing. Angel and Oz even cracked smiles.
Then Giles reminded them of their purpose. "Now, tell us everything that happened in the fight..." All details were shared. Xander told about Willow's demise, and Buffy got to explain about the red headed vamp's part in Drusilla's death. Angel looked a bit surprised at that point, but he accepted it with calmness.
"What about Spike?" Xander asked after they'd relived all the details of the very long evening. "Should we follow him or something? Try and take him out while he's down?"
Buffy shook her head. "Nah. Just let him go this time. I'd be willing to bet he stays away from Sunnydale for awhile. You know, the memories..."
"You can never bet on anything when you live on the Hellmouth," Sonya cautioned her. "The only thing I count on is to always expect the unexpected."
"Well, the next time he shows up, we'll put him out of his misery," Angel said. "But we did have a truce, at least for tonight."
"The rules of a truce can't be broken without dishonor," Oz said. When everyone looked at him, he shrugged.
Just then a high-pitched beeping filled the room. Buffy looked down at her watch. The alarm had gone off. It was 1 a.m. "Oh no!" she moaned. "That was my curfew. I'm late! I've got to go home or my mother will ground me for life!"
Everyone stood up, and prepared to call it a night.
"I'll drive you home," Xander offered to Buffy. "My jeep's right where I parked it when we got back from the Bronze." Then something occured to him. "The Bronze. It's gone. We'll never dance there again."
"My band will have to find a new gig," Oz said.
Giles rolled his eyes. "I'm sure you can all find a better, more cultured place to frequent..." He turned toward his office. "Oz, would you mind taking Sonya home in your van? I've got to go and write up a report for the Watchers' Council. I have some explaining to do to them."
Oz, Sonya, Angel, Buffy and Xander walked out into the parking lot. Angel slapped Xander on the back in farewell, and with one last, long look at Buffy he walked away alone.
Xander helped Sonya into the passenger seat of Oz's van. "See you at training tomorrow morning, Parker?" he asked. Pain flashed across his face when he realized what he'd unwittingly said, but it vanished when she actually smiled, just a little.
"I'll be there, Harris, and just because I'm not the Slayer anymore, don't think that I'll never be able to whip you again."
"I'm shakin' in my boots," Xander answered in the words of a common joke between the two of them. "See you then." He closed the door, and waved as the van pulled out of the driveway. Then he turned to Buffy, who was already perched in the passenger seat of his second-hand jeep -- the vehical didn't, and never had had, a top. When it rained, Xander took the bus.
As they drove the short distance from the school to Buffy's house, Xander put his arm around Buffy's shoulders. She rested a hand on his knee. It was a casual gesture, but it sent thrills of excitement throughout his body. They pulled up at the curb, and he turned off the motor. The second the car stopped, the porchlight snapped on.
"Mom's waiting," Buffy said.
"I hope you're not in trouble." Xander looked toward the house where a curtain moved.
Buffy shook her head. "I think I can talk her out of it. But I guess I can't tell her any of what really happened, can I?"
"Nope," Xander answered. "Just one of the rules of the slaying game."
"This is going to take a lot of getting used to."
"On all counts," Xander agreed.
The porch light blinked.
"Well," Buffy sighed, "I'd better go in."
Xander leaned over close and gave her a quick kiss. The kiss became longer as they both surrendered to it. Finally, Buffy pulled back, regret written all over her face. She looked at the porch, and then leaned in for one more kiss.
"I wish I didn't have to go in."
"Me, too." Then Xander grinned. "But there's always tomorrow at school. You know, I never really cared about that before."
Buffy smiled at him tenderly. "Yeah. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Giles will expect you there at 7:30 a.m. sharp," Xander warned.
"I'll be there." Buffy gave him one last kiss, and then hopped out of the jeep. She walked up to the porch and the door swung open to reveal Joyce. Xander waved to them both, and then drove away.
Joyce looked at Buffy in confusion. "Wasn't that Xander? I thought you weren't seeing him anymore..."
Buffy smiled softly. "We worked it out."
"Well, that's good," Joyce said, and then her voice took on a more motherly tone. "You know you missed curfew..."
"Yeah, I'm sorry."
Joyce smiled and gave Buffy a hug. "I forgive you, but don't do it again without calling, OK?"
"OK, Mom." Buffy turned and headed for the stairs. Then she looked back at her mom. "Hey, Mom, I love you."
Joyce looked surprised. "I love you, too, but what brought that on?"
Buffy shrugged. "Nothing really, it's just been a very full few days."
"Moving to a new place will do that," Joyce observed.
Buffy smiled. "I guess so. Good night!"
"Good night!" Joyce watched Buffy go upstairs with a maternal smile. Then she turned out the light and went to bed herself.
The End