It's been four days now since Jessica and I had spoken in the gardens. Four days since she'd kissed me, four days since I've been able to hold her in my hands, and four days since I've been able to look right into those bedazzling emerald eyes. Since then I've only been able to spot her from a distance. Not quite strong enough to hold back, yet determined enough to stand by my word, I've found myself up at the Hospital Wing doors twice now to catch a glimpse of her. Once before I'd not made it so far. Determined to walk right in there and take her by the hand and lead her straight back to my quarters, I stopped and realized how foolish such an idea was. She'd not have obliged. Forcing her to do so would only have proved disastrous. Instead, I thought to make an appearance, look at her, speak to her, and perhaps take back –
Bloody Merlin! I'll not make that mistake again! I'll not make an apology of any kind. So, instead I stood where I could not be seen and just imagined what could do and what would happen in a perfect world. Standing there by the door, hiding in my own shadow I've been able to remind myself why I bother with this foolishness.
I've got to have her.
I'd warned her not to cross my path, not until she's decided precisely what our kiss had meant to her. A part of her wanted it and a part of her didn't. I can't say I blame her for not ever wanting to feel my lips upon hers again, but as the days go on I find myself wanting her more and more. This has gone on long enough. I'd take back what I said about staying away from me if it meant I could see her face to face again. Continuing to peer in through a cracked door like a lost, lovesick puppy is completely harebrained. I won't resort to such silliness again.
I was angry with her at the time. Very angry, and all for letting me savour her bittersweet kiss for only a moment and then taking it all away and insisting that by doing so was inappropriate… on my part!
She tried to make a fool of me. The way she behaved seemed as if I'd poisoned her mouth with my touch. Well, perhaps she's right. As deadly as my lips may be, they're no more venomous than hers. Her kiss has polluted me with a poison I've never known before now.
It's a smouldering passion.
My passion is to have her… to hold her… to take her.
I will myself to pretend that she is there with me in my bed. It seems like an awfully immoral and juvenile thing to do – but for the love of Merlin – she feels so good! In my dreams alone my hands reach out to touch her flesh and caress every inch of her creamy white skin. I can almost hear her soft wisps and whispers beside me as my mouth strokes upon her and mounds over her breasts. Her hands curl up in my hair again and her body squeezes tight against mine as I sink into the depths of her liquid heat.
My reckless, sleepless nights are entirely due to this poison she's spread through my veins. I'll not sleep again until I can properly have her. I can't even close my eyes at night without seeing her.
In her bare flesh, she is even more beautiful.