Chapter 34
"Tell me Clarice, will they forever stand in your way, hmm, will they forever remind you of the fact that you were a FBI agent that fall from grace after having given all that you could, hmm, that you were everything that they never could be. And now, you have an opportunity to give them, that which could bring you back to your office in the dark basement. You are so close Clarice, and you find your self caring less about you high morals, so them scream even higher for you to notice that, which you have done, what you are doing and what you are going to do, is immoral and wrong.
The car moved through the dark night, mile after mile. The high way brought them closer to the Italian border from where they would continue up through Europe.
Clarice chews on his words that stung like a bee. His was right, of cause he was, he was always right. She still struggled with her dream of being in law enforcement. Hannibal continued his hurtful truth.
"Tell me Clarice, did you become a FBI" Hannibal said it with such contempt, like he had in the dungeon. "To please your daddy the dead night watch man? Hmm to raise to from the trailer trash. To make your daddy proud. Or is it the sheeps?"
Clarice felt like he could go on forever if she didn't stop him, he wanted not answers for him self but for her, she knew it was so. Yet she was angry at him for making her past and her dreams so clear for her, that she had failed in that which she wanted the most.
Clarice wished she could see as clear as he did, that she could rise above that.
"Yes, you are my ticket back to my old life. But do you assume that it's what I want? That I want to be fuck again, by people that I should have been able to trust, even my best friend turned her back on me, yet they used her as a messenger to offer me a place outside the bureau, but still having and unofficial status as an agent, just so that they could get to you."
Clarice couldn't stop the tears from running. She felt betrayed. Betrayed by best friend and now by her self. Why was it so hard to just let go and enjoy her self, why should she feel like a criminal because she wanted to be loved, when she had done so many other things that she should feel guilty about and didn't. Now she felt guilty because she was with the one she loves.
Clarice was so lost in thought that she didn't realize that she had spoken guilt out loud.
"Guilt Clarice, over what?" His voice brought her back to reality. "Sorry?"
Hannibal turned off the highway. "There's a nice motel a few miles from here, I think we both could use the rest and chance to get back to full strength." He spoke matter of factly. Clarice became aware the she was tired, hungry and in need of a shower. "Yes that would be nice."
Silence was upon them again. And for the remainder of the drive there was not spoken a word.
"Tell me Clarice, will they forever stand in your way, hmm, will they forever remind you of the fact that you were a FBI agent that fall from grace after having given all that you could, hmm, that you were everything that they never could be. And now, you have an opportunity to give them, that which could bring you back to your office in the dark basement. You are so close Clarice, and you find your self caring less about you high morals, so them scream even higher for you to notice that, which you have done, what you are doing and what you are going to do, is immoral and wrong.
The car moved through the dark night, mile after mile. The high way brought them closer to the Italian border from where they would continue up through Europe.
Clarice chews on his words that stung like a bee. His was right, of cause he was, he was always right. She still struggled with her dream of being in law enforcement. Hannibal continued his hurtful truth.
"Tell me Clarice, did you become a FBI" Hannibal said it with such contempt, like he had in the dungeon. "To please your daddy the dead night watch man? Hmm to raise to from the trailer trash. To make your daddy proud. Or is it the sheeps?"
Clarice felt like he could go on forever if she didn't stop him, he wanted not answers for him self but for her, she knew it was so. Yet she was angry at him for making her past and her dreams so clear for her, that she had failed in that which she wanted the most.
Clarice wished she could see as clear as he did, that she could rise above that.
"Yes, you are my ticket back to my old life. But do you assume that it's what I want? That I want to be fuck again, by people that I should have been able to trust, even my best friend turned her back on me, yet they used her as a messenger to offer me a place outside the bureau, but still having and unofficial status as an agent, just so that they could get to you."
Clarice couldn't stop the tears from running. She felt betrayed. Betrayed by best friend and now by her self. Why was it so hard to just let go and enjoy her self, why should she feel like a criminal because she wanted to be loved, when she had done so many other things that she should feel guilty about and didn't. Now she felt guilty because she was with the one she loves.
Clarice was so lost in thought that she didn't realize that she had spoken guilt out loud.
"Guilt Clarice, over what?" His voice brought her back to reality. "Sorry?"
Hannibal turned off the highway. "There's a nice motel a few miles from here, I think we both could use the rest and chance to get back to full strength." He spoke matter of factly. Clarice became aware the she was tired, hungry and in need of a shower. "Yes that would be nice."
Silence was upon them again. And for the remainder of the drive there was not spoken a word.