Note: Happy New Year, everyone. This chapter means we're about one-quarter done with the story; so expect new instalments for a while yet. Thanks for all the lovely feedback do far, it's deeply appreciated. (Doesn't mean we won't eagerly accept more, though ... *hint, hint*) Anyway, enjoy ... DB/CR
Seasons To Remember
Chapter 7: Worth The Wait
"If Dad was ambivalent about asking you out – I mean, as more than a friend – how did the two of you get together?" Oliver asked, as fascinated as the women by now. At first, the men hadn't been all that enthusiastic when the photo albums came out and the reminiscing began, but what had been a rather boring activity when they'd been children was very intriguing now. Especially in light of how the two families would be joined at the source now, so to speak.
"Weren't you still in London when you started dating?"
Kat smiled. "Yes – but for once I was able to come home for my next-to-last midterm holiday in February of 2001. My father had accumulated a heap of frequent flyer miles, and offered to pay for the ticket. I didn't really feel like going anywhere else before my finals, coming home seemed like a good idea somehow, so I took him up on it. I'd just slept off my jet lag when …"
~*~
"Katherine! Phone!"
"What? Who is it?"
Kat took the receiver from her mother with a questioning look; who knew she was home from London? But Doris Hillard already was back on her way to the kitchen, preoccupied with dinner. With a shrug, the blonde held the plastic device to her ear. Really, the possibilities of the caller's identity were pretty slim; only her friends were aware of her schedule at all, and of them only one would be in Angel Grove right now. She felt her pulse quicken slightly.
"Hello?"
"Hello, Kat."
Bingo. That deep, warm voice was unmistakeable. A pleased smile lit up Kat's face.
"Hi, Jason. How are you, and how did you know I was home?"
His chuckle drifted into her ear. "Hey, you always have a vacation around this time of year, don't you? I checked my calendar, counted on my fingers, took a chance your Mom would know where you are … and got lucky. And I'm fine, thanks."
"That's good to know," Kat replied. At least one of them was okay then. She'd heard last year that Jason had finally broken up with Emily, and apparently he was over the experience. Not an easy thing to accomplish, as she well knew from her own recent past. If a couple living in the same town couldn't sustain a long-term relationship, what chance had she and Tommy had, separated by a whole ocean? Kat was very relieved that Jason, who felt things so deeply at times, seemed to have come out of it relatively unscathed.
As for herself, though … she just couldn't seem to shake a certain melancholy, caused in part by a still-lingering sadness over her break-up with Tommy, but also by her growing dissatisfaction with her chosen career path. Oh, she still loved dancing, no mistake about that, but the touring last year had been more strenuous than she'd anticipated. And there were other reasons, too, things she'd never dreamed of … with an effort, she gathered in her wandering thoughts and concentrated on her phone conversation.
"Was there any particular reason you called, or did you just want to chat a little?" she asked. Even if it was only the latter, it would be nice … very nice, actually … to talk to Jason in person again. He was a good listener, they'd visited a lot of the same places in Europe, he never seemed to get bored when she told ballet stories – they could even talk about a few sub-titled art house films they'd both seen. Kat, because she genuinely liked French romantic comedies, and Jason because he wanted to keep up the French he'd learned at the Peace Conference.
"Believe it or not, I do have a reason for once," he told her. "My classes were cancelled for today due to a budget meeting or something, and I thought I'd drive up the coast a ways. The weather report says it's going to stay nice and sunny all day, and the surf ought to be good. I'm in the mood to play in the water some … wanna come with?"
The thought was tempting, but …
"I don't know, Jason," Kat hedged. "I'm not really in the right mood to …" To do what? Play? Let herself be distracted from her problems? She couldn't rightfully say, so she trailed off, never finishing her sentence.
There was a brief pause, then Jason's voice changed from cheery to soft and comforting. "Kat … if it's about Tommy … he told me. About you guys breaking up, I mean. If you need to talk … I'm willing to listen."
That was exactly what she needed, Kat realized. Sure, she'd written Tanya and Aisha about it, and they had been very sympathetic in their replies, but it was different if you could unburden yourself face-to-face with a good friend. And Jason certainly was that. However, he was first and foremost Tommy's best friend. Could she trust him to be impartial?
The second she had that thought, Kat dismissed it as unworthy. He had never played favorites, not even among them. And it would do her good to tell her side to someone who knew them both, who had been there – who would understand.
"Besides, I owe you one," Jason broke into her musings. "You were there for me a year ago when I needed a willing ear for my troubles with Emily. The least I can do is return the favor, even if it's after the fact."
"That's true," Kat admitted. She allowed herself another moment of indecision while Jason waited patiently for her answer. At last, she mentally shook herself. "Oh, very well. If you're sure you don't mind …"
"Yes, I am. And there's no reason we can't talk on the beach, can't we?"
It seemed as if Jason was determined she was going to have fun, whether she wanted to or not. His tone was gently wheedling, and she could picture exactly the puppy-dog eyes he was probably making. It was a look all of her male friends had perfected. Laughing softly, Kat gave in gracefully.
"All right, you talked me into it," she mock-grumbled. "Just let me pack a beach bag."
"Great! I'll pick you up in … half an hour, say?"
That would give her barely enough time to hunt up her neoprene suit (a necessity, because even though California was having an unseasonably warm spell for February, the sea would still be winter-cold), but suddenly Kat found herself eager to get out of the too-silent house. Besides, Jason wouldn't mind waiting a few minutes if she needed them, she was sure.
"I'll be ready."
~*~
The beach was everything he'd promised her and more, and for a couple of hours, the two rode the near-perfect waves until they were exhausted. Laughing, they lugged their surf boards onto the beach and back to their blanket. As she reached for a towel to dry her hair, Kat realized that for this brief span of time, she'd truly been able to forget, to relax. She smiled to herself. Now the more serious part was at hand, the talking, but somehow she didn't mind; it just made her feel good inside to know she had someone to talk to at last.
A relieved groan from Jason made her peer out from under her towel. He was peeling the soaked wetsuit off his broad shoulders.
"Man, I'm always so glad to get out of these things! I know they're necessary for protection, but still … getting in and out is a total drag!"
"Especially out," Kat agreed, watching him unobtrusively – and with not-so-secret pleasure. She and Tanya had often indulged in ogling the guys like this while still at school; their male friends were an attractive bunch, after all, and they'd both agreed that no red-blooded girl could wish for better eye candy. And to see Jason practically strip before her very eyes was … mouth-watering.
Down, girl! she admonished herself, nearly starting to drool as the thick material slid down trim hips. To ensure a better fit of the suit, Jason was wearing tight black spandex briefs underneath instead of more loosely-fitting shorts. And they were wet, too, moulding tightly to his rear as he bent over to spread the suit out to dry. Every muscle, dip, bulge and crevice was clearly outlined. Kat suddenly found herself itching to touch him, to run her hands all over that glistening, smooth skin. No! This is Jason – your friend, fellow ex-Ranger, a guy you went to school with! You simply don't think of him that way! It didn't help; the sun-bronzed cut physique was just too tempting.
Oh my.
Confused and surprised at herself, Kat felt the blood rise in her cheeks. To cover her unexpected reaction, she turned away and angled behind her back for her own suit's zipper. The length of fabric attached to it proved elusive, though, and she exclaimed softly in dismay.
"Oh blast!"
Looking up, Jason recognized her difficulty at once.
"Problem reaching the zipper?" he asked with an understanding smile. "Here, let me help."
Before she could protest, he stepped behind her and deftly opened the closure from her neck to her hips. It was an action that he (and the others) had performed for her dozens of times; why was it that Kat suddenly felt a not-unpleasant shiver run down her spine that had very little to do with being wet, or the light breeze ruffling her long tresses?
The feeling intensified as Jason oh-so-helpfully folded the suit's flaps forward, baring her back and shoulders. Kat was wearing a perfectly ordinary swimsuit underneath, but she was all of a sudden excruciatingly conscious of the fact that her back was nearly totally naked … and that it would take less than half a step backwards for her to lean against Jason's equally bare chest. Why, she could even feel his body warmth radiating out towards her!
She couldn't remember ever feeling that way. Not even with Tommy. At least, not in public, and under perfectly ordinary, innocent circumstances.
Flustered and unaccountably excited, Kat shrugged the large hands off her shoulders as she took herself to task.
Nothing's happened. Jason isn't touching me other than as a friend. He is not interested in me that way. He's done this before. I am not interested in him that way. ('Liar!' a little voice inside her head she'd never heard before mocked. Kat ignored it.) I'm seeing things. I have to be! I need a friend, not a … a lover. More precisely, I need to get a grip! Now!
"Th-thanks," she murmured, swallowing to get rid of the sudden dryness in her mouth. "I can manage from here on."
To her relief – and secret disappointment – Jason immediately let her go.
"You're welcome," he said simply, turning away and busying himself with their boards. And surely it was her imagination that his voice had sounded huskier than normal.
~*~
For his part, Jason was extremely thankful to have a reason, however spurious, to turn his back on Katherine. He'd thought nothing of offering to help her with her suit; after all, he'd done so before, but for some reason peeling the heavy material off her shoulders had a very definite effect on him all of a sudden. A physical effect, to be precise.
It … it felt as if I was undressing her, he thought, fighting his body's reaction. I've seen her in a swimsuit before; why is this so different today?
He had no ready answer. And he wasn't sure he wanted one; too vivid was the memory of how her slender back emerged from the wetsuit under his clumsy-feeling hands, the sleek skin all rosy and smooth and looking so very, very touchable. It had taken all of his control not to bend down and kiss the spot directly between Kat's shoulder blades – the one where he knew she was ticklish from a time when helping her out of her suit had been an innocent endeavour.
Used to be ruthlessly honest with himself, Jason suppressed a groan. There's absolutely nothing innocent about the way I just felt, he realized. Oh man, I'm in trouble!
~*~
Thankfully for his peace of mind, Kat pulled a loose t-shirt over her swimwear. After a moment's consideration, Jason did the same – the shirt wasn't going to help his tan any, but it did cover a multitude of sins … like certain too-eager parts of his anatomy. Safely covered, he sank down on their blanket, accepting the can of soda Kat took from the cooler they'd brought. The mundane task of sipping his drink and munching on an apple soon restored his equilibrium, though, and Jason was able to ask Kat what was bothering her.
"So what exactly has you so bummed? Is it Tommy, the fact that the two of you broke up?"
"No," she replied without hesitation, then amended her statement. "Well … maybe a little. But I'm not carrying a torch for him, or anything; it's just that I'm still a little sad that it's over, you know? I invested a lot of myself into our relationship, and to realize it wasn't going to go anywhere, that it had just run its course …"
"It hurts, huh?"
"Yeah."
Jason gave her an understanding smile; he'd been in a very similar situation after he'd broken up with Emily.
"Just be glad you were able to remain friends," was all he said. His own parting with his girlfriend last year had been somewhat less than amicable. Not that they had quarrelled, exactly, but Emily had felt bitterly disappointed and hadn't hesitated to let Jason know it. A lot of harsh words had been said in the heat of the moment. So, even though they said their final good-byes civilly enough, there remained an unpleasant aftertaste that it had taken Jason weeks to lose.
"Oh, we are. Neither one of us hates the other, after all. It's just, at this juncture Tommy and I expect different things from life, and we couldn't make them mesh."
"I'm sorry," Jason offered sincerely.
"Don't be. But thanks anyway." Kat smiled briefly into his warm eyes, then looked away again, playing absently with a fold in the blanket. If that were only the sole reason why she was feeling so down!
"You're welcome."
Jason waited a few minutes, not wanting to pressure his friend, but he was perceptive enough of Kat's moods to know there was something else weighing on her mind. However, when she made no attempt to talk, just sighed softly once or twice, he decided that he needed to prod her just a little.
"Kat? I'm not trying to pry, but … is there something else that's wrong? You really seem upset about something …"
She gave him a considering look. Should she burden Jason with her problems? After all, she knew there was nothing he could do … except listen.
Maybe that's what I need, though; an impartial ear. I can't very well go to my parents with this; they supported my dream of becoming a dancer for so long, paid a great deal for my education, too … I don't want to disappoint them …and Jason's a good listener. Very well then.
Decision made, Kat cleared her throat. Instead of answering his question, she posed one of her own.
"Jase … when you decided to go into business with Rocky, how did you know it was the right choice for you? Your grades were good enough; you could have gotten into almost any college, taken up any career …"
He chuckled, slightly surprised by what he thought was something of a non sequitur. "I have no idea, really. I wanted to have my own karate school for as long as I can remember – becoming partners with Rocky seemed the next best thing, and that much faster. And as for other careers … when it comes down to it, in most jobs I'm even remotely interested in I'd end up behind a desk most of the time. Not for me, thank you very much. I need to do stuff, not just push paper."
"But why go to college at all, then? You could have joined him right after graduation."
"Yeah, I could have, and I did consider it, but with my business degree we can save on a bookkeeper, we're less likely to be cheated … besides, you know I've been teaching part time at his place from the start."
Kat nodded, seeing the sense in that. "You've had your karate instructor's license for a long time, haven't you?"
"Since I was fifteen, yes."
"Then why get an additional Phys. Ed. teaching degree? It's not as if you need it, and it took you out of the dojo for longer."
Kat seemed genuinely interested, so Jason explained. "Well, you see … there's no telling if ultimately the dojo will support all three of us, especially if we should ever get married and have families. Rocky's back might give out, Tommy or I could be injured or otherwise unable to go on, the economy might collapse … there's a dozen reasons why the business could fail. And if it does, I'll have something to fall back on, doing what I like – working with kids, teaching sports. It won't be my dream any longer, but a pretty good substitute. Or I could provide extra income, like Tommy has been doing so far."
"I never thought of that," the blonde dancer admitted, a trace of admiration in her voice. "It sounds as if you really thought it all through."
He shrugged, equally pleased and embarrassed at the implied compliment. "I had to. I don't want to have to crawl back to my parents, tail between my legs, and have to admit I've followed a pipe dream. They busted their butts for years to put up my college fund; it's thanks to them I can graduate with only minimal loans to pay off."
At his words, a shadow crossed the lovely features, and Jason stopped, suddenly alert. "Kat? What's wrong? Did I say something to make you uncomfortable, or …?"
Katherine sighed. "It's nothing."
"Yeah, right. You wouldn't look as if someone had just stolen your tutu if everything was fine and dandy," he chided gently, chucking a finger under her chin. "I'd have to be as dense as Bulk and Skull not to see that it's far more than 'nothing'."
She gave him a wan smile, fighting an impulse to snuggle against that broad chest and let Jason hold her, keeping her safe and warm until her troubles went away. Unfortunately, she knew life didn't work that way. "It's a pretty boring thing, really," she hedged.
"Why don't you let me decide that, hmm?" Jason cajoled with a wink. "Come on, you know you can tell me!"
She glanced at him from under her lashes, secretly grateful that he insisted. She really needed to unload. "If you're sure?"
"Yes, silly, I am," he stated firmly, "or I wouldn't have offered. Talk!"
Kat fidgeted for another minute, trying to find a place to start, then heaved a deep breath. "It … it's my career," she admitted softly. "I thought this last year, going on tour with the ballet, would be what I dreamed of, but … it isn't."
Jason nodded thoughtfully; he'd heard much the same from both Tommy and Kimberly. He thought he knew what was bothering his friend. "Being on the road so much, living out of suitcases can be rough, right?"
"Yes, although that's not all of it; I more or less knew what to expect. After all, Tommy complained often enough about it." Kat cracked a tiny smile. "It's more … I hadn't counted on the sheer rivalry going on among the troupe dancers, the intrigues, the outright and the hidden backstabbing … I thought the scholarship audition was already bad! 'Competition' doesn't even come close anymore," Kat sighed.
"Ouch."
She snorted lightly. "Yeah. What's more, while I like Europe, I don't really want to live there on a permanent basis – and job opportunities here are few and far between. Broadway is hopelessly crowded with talent, and I didn't study classical ballet to prance around half-naked on a Las Vegas stage, either."
The mere thought made Jason's throat tighten. "What?"
"That's about the only serious offer I had – to work as a show dancer. No thanks."
While part of him wanted nothing more than to see Kat in one of those provocative outfits, all feathers, a few sequins and lots of bare skin, another part knew that he'd try to punch out the lights of every guy who'd get to look at her like that. Surprised by the intensity of his reaction, Jason was uncomfortably aware that it was due to a good deal of possessiveness he was feeling towards his lovely friend.
She's mine!
Only, Kat wasn't – not really, anyway. But I sure wish she were – if not for Tommy.
Jason almost smacked his forehead. Tommy – or his relationship with Kat – wasn't an issue anymore. They'd broken up. And his best friend had practically given his blessing to any of them pursuing a relationship with her already, when Rocky had joked about asking Kat out. At the time, he'd assumed his misgivings about that were merely based on the fact that, friend or not, Rocky and Kat would be a mismatch personality-wise, but … what if it was more? For him?
Did he care about Kat as more than a friend?
I could, Jason realized. Easily. Heck, who am I kidding? I already do – have done so for a while, even. Now the question is, how does Kat feel about me? Would she be willing to let what we have grow and change? Can I take the chance she might say no?
Again, he had no answer. But this time, he wanted one. And he determined to find it.
Forcing his wayward thoughts back from his love life to Kat's more immediate problem, Jason gave her a comforting smile. "I don't blame you. Besides, it's not exactly as if there's a lot of job security in that kind of thing, is there?"
"No."
"There's really no opportunity to join a corps de ballet anywhere? What about Boston, Los Angeles, the other big cities with permanent theaters?"
Kat chuckled mirthlessly. "You think I haven't tried? I sent out a bunch of applications, even had a few interviews last summer while we were touring. Nothing. Wait, that's not precisely true. There were two offers, Chicago and Philadelphia, but … one place in effect told me that due to my height, which is slightly above average for a dancer, I'd be stuck in the chorus line for the duration of my contract. Now I don't mind paying my dues – I'm not that brilliant to get hired for leading roles straight out of the Academy – but I was hoping for the minor, supporting ones. Guess not.
"The other place was even worse. They said I might eventually graduate to getting featured parts, but … on a condition."
Her smile was bitter, and Jason found himself wishing that he could hug her, to smooth the unhappy frown off her forehead with a gentle kiss or two. But as that was out of the question, he confined himself to taking her restive hands in his and giving them a friendly squeeze.
"What condition, Kat?" A thought occurred to him. "Your interviewer didn't make any indecent proposals to you, did he?" The idea alone was enough to make his blood boil with anger.
"No, nothing of the sort. No personnel manager would dare; it's too easy to file sexual harassment charges these days."
"Then what was it?" Jason asked, genuinely curious now.
"I was told that I was 'too big'," Kat murmured, fresh humiliation at the comment making her blush. "In order to get hired, I was supposed to lose fifteen pounds, minimum." It did her a world of good to hear Jason's reaction, who, after a stunned minute, broke into incredulous laughter.
"They've got to be kidding, right? You have an excellent figure; there's no way anyone in their right minds would consider you 'big'," he scoffed. "What an idiot!"
"Thanks; I needed to hear that," Kat smiled, pleased by the compliment. "But it's nonetheless true."
Jason just shook his head. He'd never understood the obsession with weight a lot of performers seemed to share. Sure, it wouldn't do to gain, but where was the beauty in being all skin and bones?
"Will you be trying to lose that much weight?"
She sighed. "I can't. I've always had to watch my weight a little, more so since attending the Academy, but I know my body pretty well – it's impossible for me to slim down much more without downright starving myself or any other help." At Jason's questioning look, she elaborated. "Chemical help. Diet pills, emetics …"
"Good grief, Kat, you're not seriously thinking of taking that crap, are you?" Jason exclaimed, shock and sudden anger warring in his voice. "That's dangerous!"
"No, no, don't worry. I have better sense than that!"
He slumped in relief. "Good!"
There was an expression in his eyes that made her wonder … "Why are you so upset, anyway? You ought to know me better."
"I do," he replied, "but … I know how big a temptation this kind of thing can be."
"You do? How?"
"Not about diet pills, but anabolics, steroids … well, any kind of doping, really," Jason said succinctly. "I know it's not quite the same, but it's a close enough thing, I think. Not that it's a very big problem in the martial arts community; those who are really serious about it, who consider it more than just a sport, try to live up to the tenets. But it does happen, and there are enough unscrupulous coaches and competitors out there that you can't help but be aware of what's going on behind closed doors. There was one time … I was at a tournament, and struggling with a nasty cold. I was feeling pretty lousy, was worrying about my performance … anyway, long story short, one of the other participants, not in my weight class, offered me some pills. I really wanted to win, so … for a minute, I actually considered taking him up on it. Luckily, common sense kicked in, so I didn't."
Kat thought to herself that it was equal parts his sense of honor and basic decency that hadn't allowed Jason to cheat, but confined herself to a nod. A hitherto unknown part of her thrilled to the thought that this was yet another thing she shared with Jason; she couldn't imagine Tommy ever admitting to anything like that. He had this need to appear as perfect as possible at all times that could be rather exasperating. With a small sigh, she agreed with her companion.
"It's a temptation alright. Especially … what girl doesn't want to lose weight? But I consulted a nutritionist once; I'm really at the lowest point, weight-wise, that's safe for my health. And while I could never prove anything, I'm pretty certain at least a couple of girls in the troupe are bulimic already. I don't want to go down that road at all."
"Whew."
She had to laugh as he wiped an imaginary sweatdrop off his forehead, feeling better already for being able to talk to him and having found complete understanding instead of platitudes and an attitude of 'it's one of the hazards you have to live with if you want success' that she had gotten from the one older colleague she'd confided in.
"Yeah, well … being sensible doesn't solve my dilemma, though. I'm almost finished with my education, and not a bit closer to an idea what to do with it once I graduate this summer."
"I guess not."
Silence fell between them, but it wasn't uncomfortable; rather, it was a thoughtful stillness during which both mulled things over in their minds while subconsciously basking in their closeness. At last, Jason shook himself like a wet puppy.
"Let's take a walk, shall we? Maybe moving around some will help us get our brains in gear."
"Sure."
Kat was pleased and grateful that Jason so naturally made her problem his own; he might not be able to help her as such, but it was obvious that he'd willingly serve as her sounding board. Which was pretty much what she'd hoped to find, anyway.
~*~
Quickly, they stowed their surfing gear in Jason's car, slipped on their clothes and went back down to the beach, wandering off towards the rocky part of the shore. The Rangers had fought quite a number of battles there, and for a while, they both indulged in memories as they clambered around the wet stones.
Neither seemed to think it odd in any way that Jason took Kat's hand to help her over rocks she was perfectly able to negotiate on her own. It just felt too right to touch, to be close like this.
Eventually, they reached the small cove with the cave where they'd hidden Trey of Triforia after saving him from both drowning and Mondo's henchmen. Deciding to take a breather, they sat down on the sun-warmed sand behind a larger rock, and Kat looked at Jason with a small smile.
"Well?"
"Well what?"
"Has moving around helped you any in coming up with ideas for my situation? I know it didn't work for me, unfortunately," she sighed, her good mood vanishing.
He shrugged helplessly. "Not really, sorry. I just don't know enough about ballet, the stage and so on to give you any concrete advice. I wish I could, but …"
Kat slumped despondently, her blue eyes slowly filling with tears. "Jason, I really am at my wits' end," she sniffled. "Maybe it's just graduation jitters, but lately I feel as if all of my dreams are vanishing into thin air one after the other. First there was the accident which cost me a chance at the Pan Globals, then we had to give up our Powers, lastly breaking up with Tommy … the only thing I had left was becoming a dancer. I truly believed I had it made at last; and now, six months from my goal, it's turning from a dream into a nightmare! Come fall, what am I going to do if I can't get a job I like?"
A lone tear slipped out and rolled slowly down her smooth cheek. It proved too much for Jason. Instinctively, he reached across the small distance separating them and drew Kat into his arms. Tucking her head against his neck, he held her as close as he could.
"Ah, don't say that, honey," he murmured soothingly. "You had very little influence on the first two – none of it was your fault. You and Tommy breaking up … according to him, it was a mutual decision, wasn't it?" She nodded mutely. "So again – not your fault. And as for your dancing …we just have to think harder. Or maybe change the way we look at things."
Still 'we', she marvelled. Not just me, but the two of us together. Like partners, friends …telling me with one little word that I'm not alone in this, that I'll have his help and support no matter what.
The thought was comforting, bracing … and thrilling. A strange mixture of emotions that had the blonde wondering what exactly she was feeling for Jason. And whether her feelings were changing maybe just a bit to something much deeper than they used to be up to now. Which seemed suddenly so very right, and fitting – as if it was something that had just been waiting to happen for a long time. And that thought was somehow scarier than her uncertainty about her future career.
What if he doesn't feel the same?
Katherine shied away from the idea, not wanting to know. Right now, she had to concentrate on her professional problems, not on her love life. Determinedly pushing her half-realized hopes as far back into her mind as they would go, she snuggled into his embrace, appreciating the feel of solid muscle surrounding her. Somehow, she felt safe now, warm and protected … anchored where before she'd been adrift. The soft rumble of Jason's low voice vibrated in his chest, adding to her comfort.
"But how?" she asked, a hint of desperation in her voice. "I've racked my brain until it hurt, and I'm still no closer to a solution."
"What about a backup plan? I mean, surely you must've thought about what you were going to do if things didn't work out. Like, what if you'd never gotten that scholarship? Or if you had injured yourself at school, or didn't make the grade. I can think of any number of things that might have gone wrong without it being your responsibility."
"Sort of. But only for after – y'know? Once I've had my career … I thought I might like teaching ballet. It's what a lot of dancers do if they get too old or are injured out of performing." She looked at him a bit sheepishly. "Maybe that makes me short-sighted, but I never imagined that I would not become a professional."
Jason smiled back reassuringly; he'd had that same attitude not too long ago, thinking himself invincible – believing that everything he ever wanted would be within his grasp if he only worked hard enough. But leading the Rangers had taught him that it always paid to have a Plan B. And nearly dying from losing the Gold Power had put things into perspective for him even more.
"It's only natural," he murmured. "But Kat … is there any reason you can't look at that plan now, instead of in the future someday? I seem to remember that you really liked working with the girls when we were still at school. And it looked as if you were pretty good at it, too."
Kat frowned. "I'm not sure. It's something you usually do only once you retire …"
"Says who?"
Baffled, she shrugged. "Well … everybody, I guess …" Even to her own ears, Kat knew how lame that sounded.
Jason looked down at her just a bit sternly. "Everybody is not you. If what you thought you wanted doesn't turn out right, why shouldn't you consider other options, even if it's not the way 'they' usually do things? This is your life, Kat, not everybody else's."
"I know," she whispered, blushing. She hung her head, just a tad ashamed, but to her relief found that her friend wasn't pushing her away, that Jason held her just as securely as before. She also realized at the back of her mind that she liked being held by him. Far more than she possibly should, but there was no way she was moving from where she was.
Another silence fell, during which Jason patiently waited for Kat to think over what they'd just discussed. He wasn't disappointed; after only a couple of minutes, she raised her eyes to his once more.
"That's what you meant earlier, isn't it?" she murmured, a sense of dawning understanding in her voice. "About changing the way I look at things."
"Uh huh."
"Teaching ballet … I'd have to take more classes in choreography, some instruction in the physiological aspects of dancing, learn how to deal with a classroom situation … it would mean at least a year or so at a conservatory or college," she mused out loud, getting excited despite herself. It wasn't what she'd always imagined she'd be doing in the near future, but it was at least an option where she had had none before. "But where would I apply? And how can I ask my parents to support me financially for even longer than they already have?"
The dark-haired young man smiled reassuringly at her. "Your folks never struck me as being unreasonable; don't you think that if you honestly told them about your misgivings, they wouldn't understand?"
"No, of course they would."
Jason grinned and winked. "I thought so. And as for which school to choose … have you forgotten that Angel Grove has a Conservatory? Surely you could live at home again for a while, cutting down on expenses …"
"…and maybe student-teach or something, to earn a little extra or cut down on tuition fees," Kat realized, getting caught up with the whole idea. This might just work! "After all, my degree from the Royal Academy should count for something!"
"It should," Jason agreed with a twinkle in his eyes. He felt inordinately pleased that it seemed as if he'd been able to help Kat, after all. "Will you at least think about it?"
"Oh, definitely," Kat promised, feeling a huge load slowly lift from her mind. "I have to graduate first, though, talk things through with my parents, look into the possibilities at AGC … oh my, there goes the rest of my vacation," she wailed comically.
Jason chuckled. "Better it go that way than you spend it worrying about your future."
"Yes, much better," Kat agreed fervently. "Thank you for helping me – for opening my eyes," she said, impulsively angling upwards to kiss Jason on the cheek. Only, as it happened, he shifted position when she did, turned his head just a fraction more towards her than she'd reckoned with, and instead of an innocent peck like they had shared countless times, their lips brushed against each others'.
It was electrifying.
Kat's eyes snapped open wide and she gasped softly. Jason froze into a living statue, his mouth hovering only a fraction of an inch above hers. Breaths mingled, and hearts began to beat like triphammers as two pairs of eyes locked. The expression in the midnight-dark depths shook Kat to her core, and a tiny sound escaped her – part moan, part denial … and part surrender.
Hope suddenly surging high, Jason took what he would later think of as the biggest chance in his lifetime and closed the distance between them. Whisper-soft, his lips touched Kat's once more, and when she didn't protest he could feel his blood sing until he was dizzy with triumph and gratitude. After a second's hesitation, she melted into the kiss, becoming pliant in his arms as her lids fluttered shut and she gave herself up to the tender caress.
Only the need for oxygen managed to separate them at last. Easing back slightly, reluctance in every line of her body, Kat flushed a delicate pink. Jason wouldn't let her retreat too far; he still cradled her in one arm while he freed one hand to gently brush through her hair.
"Wow," he murmured huskily, eyes glowing.
"Mmm," Kat replied in a dreamy tone, feeling her lips still tingle.
Jason's delighted chuckle vibrated through her as he took the inarticulate sound for consent and kissed her again, much longer and more thoroughly this time. Kat offered no resistance, was indeed meeting him more than halfway as she threaded her arms around his shoulders and just felt.
An untold time later, she found herself draped sideways across Jason's lap, her forehead resting against his throat while he dusted tiny kisses on her hair.
"What's happening to us?" she queried, slightly dazed. "We're friends; friends don't kiss each other like we just did …"
"They do when they start to fall in love with each other," Jason replied, his deep voice more gentle than Kat had ever heard it. "Because I have, you know." The low rumble soothed, but the meaning of his words excited her beyond bearing. Wide-eyed with wonder, she glanced up at him.
"L-love?" she stammered. "Y-you're falling in l-love with m-me?"
"Yes."
"Oohh."
A slight frown creased Jason's forehead. Had he misread Kat's compliance?
"You don't mind, do you?" he asked worriedly.
Slowly, Kat shook her head. "I don't think so. No."
He slumped in relief. "Whew. For a second there, I thought …"
Tenderly, she touched his cheek. "Jason, I could never be anything but pleased and honoured that you feel so about me. Thank you. You've given me a gift I never expected, and I am truly touched. But …" Kat paused, momentarily undecided. Should she spoil this wonderful moment with misgivings? Then, she firmed her resolve. Jason was her friend; he deserved total honesty from her – and she wouldn't cheapen whatever was between them with anything less.
"But what?"
Kat sighed softly, wistfully. Smiling to take any sting out of her words, she said what she felt she must.
"Jase, I care deeply about you. Please, never doubt that. And …" she blushed slightly, remembering her earlier reactions towards him, "… I believe it can become more. Much more. But right now, I need to get my life in order first; make decisions about my job, my future. I think I'd like it a great deal if that future included you, but …I need time to sort everything out. I can't – no, make that I won't – make such an important choice without weighing all the possibilities."
Jason swallowed his disappointment. Kat was right – she had enough on her plate just now, and by rushing things, he was complicating her life unnecessarily. No matter how much he wanted to claim her as hers, he'd have to give her space.
"Fair enough," he sighed. "I don't have to like it though, do I?"
"No. And I'm not blowing you off, dearest," she whispered, smoothing his eyebrows with a dainty fingertip. "All I'm asking for is some time. I don't want to hurt you. Ever."
He ventured a small, rueful grin. "I know you don't. Same here. Sorry if I've made it more difficult for you."
"You haven't. If anything, you've given me an extra incentive to decide," Katherine murmured. "But I need to graduate first. Can you wait until summer?"
"I'll have to, won't I?"
"I'm afraid so."
"Then I'll wait," Jason replied simply, firmly. "You're worth it."
"Thank you." She reached up and drew the dark head down into another, very sweet kiss that was both a promise and good-bye. For now.
~*~
Kat groaned as she tried pushing her heavily-loaded baggage cart towards the customs exit. Even with the bulk of her belongings having been shipped home as cargo, she still had two large suitcases and three smaller bags to maneuver.
She'd graduated with honors from the Royal Academy, and was returning to Angel Grove to start a year or so of extra studies at the Conservatory to become a dance teacher. Ultimately, it had been easier than she'd thought it would be to give up her erstwhile dream of becoming a ballerina – more so as her instructors had heartily approved of her plans, telling her she had a real gift for teaching that was more valuable than trying to compete for the few openings at good ballet companies.
At last, her baggage was checked. With an effort, Kat set the cart to moving again and pushed it through the heavy metal sliding doors. She moved along the cordoned-off corridor, towards the waiting area. Already she could see the happily-smiling faces of her parents waiting for her. Quickening her step, she let herself be swept up into their arms, answering questions, babbling excitedly how glad she was to be back again … until she happened to look over her mother's shoulder and saw a broad-shouldered figure leaning against the far wall.
Short dark hair, sculpted torso clad in a tight black polo shirt, stone-washed jeans moulded to lean hips … and a pair of eyes looking at her with a mute question and a great deal of hope.
"Excuse me for a minute, Mum," she interrupted her mother and disengaged herself from her motherly hug. "There's someone I need to see." Taken aback, Doris Hillard let go of her daughter.
"Of course, baby, who …"
Kat didn't even hear her question. Slowly, she walked towards Jason, who straightened as she approached him.
"Hello," he murmured, feasting his eyes on her slender loveliness. How he'd missed her these past few months!
"Hi," Kat replied softly, not trusting her voice to remain steady. She hadn't dared hope he'd come, although she knew now she'd wanted nothing more.
"I was wondering … maybe you could need someone to help with your luggage," he offered neutrally.
"I sure can," Kat answered, feeling her heart soar as she basked in his nearness. When Jason smiled just a bit uncertainly, her last faint doubts vanished. Feeling her cheeks heat up, she nevertheless gathered her courage and met his eyes fully. "I also need you for far more than your strength," she whispered.
"Oh? What would that be?" Jason wanted to know, his pulse speeding up to an impossible tempo. Was his dream coming true, after all?
Kat let her smile blossom, letting it spread over her face as happiness suffused her. Boldly, she put a hand on Jason's chest, feeling his heart beat under her palm. Without asking, she knew it pulsed for her.
"I need you as my friend and my confidant. You've become my advisor and my rock. I need you like I need air to breathe … and I can't imagine my life without you," she confessed.
"Are you sure?" Jason asked, suddenly breathless.
"Completely," Kat answered, letting the truth ring in her voice.
Dark eyes ignited with a fire that both warmed and scorched. She sank willingly into his fierce embrace, and when they found each other in a kiss full of love and passion, Katherine knew that of all the choices she'd made these past few months, this was the most right of all.
She had come home at last.
~*~
"During the last few months I spent in London, we wrote to each other regularly – one long letter a week," Kat reminisced, smiling.
"You mean, ink on paper?" her youngest son wanted to know. "How archaic, Mom!"
"Don't put it down, Jared," his mother chided gently. "I still have those letters, and the fact that Jason wrote them by hand, that he had touched every single sheet, makes them an even more precious memento."
"You don't get that from email printouts," Lynne agreed, a bit misty-eyed. "I think it's very sweet, especially since you had to wait over a week for replies."
"Oh, we had contact in between," Kat revealed with a nostalgic smile. "Every Sunday of our separation, Jason called me at eight o'clock in the morning. Never for long, because of the high transatlantic call charges, but he did spend maybe $5 each week "
"Ugh, why so early? Didn't you ever want to sleep in?"
"It was most convenient for both of us; 8am Sunday in London is Saturday midnight here in California. After the first month, I lived for his calls. And Jason never failed. It was more than worth waking up for."
"Dad the Romantic at work?" her daughter smiled.
"Very much so. We basically dated by phone until I came home for good. And when he kissed me at the airport … I didn't need to hear the actual words. I knew, just by looking at him."
"Knew what, Mom?" Oliver asked, although he had a pretty good idea. This memory stuff was getting good!
Kat's blue eyes grew distant as she lost herself in the past again for an instant.
"We were in love."
To Be Continued ...