Destiny

*Hands shoot up from the ground and reveals Che-chan, back from the dead*

I live!!! Mwahahahahahahahahahaha--*gets struck by lightning*

*puffs out smoke* Ayah! Minna, sorry for the delay!!! >_

Come on, it's chapter 10, do I have to repeat every single disclaimer in every chapter? *sweatdrops* Let's spare the pain, ne? ^-^ I'm back from the dead, mwahahahaha!!! *ducks out for possible lightning, happy to find none* It's been a long time, but hey, at least there's improvement ^-^' (PATHETIC attempt for an excuse, I know, gomen!) Although, I can't assure you all a perfectly written chapter, I must've lost it after all these times of staring at the corner of my wall ^-^' Chapter done in Botan's point of view. Uh…you might get confused because I'm REALLY twisting the episodes now…ehehehehe ^-^'

Chapter 10

I've cried. And I'm still crying.

I don't know how long I've been lying in my room, with only the safety of the dark as my source of comfort. I didn't know what time it was, I didn't even know if the sun had already risen. All that I had ever come to know was the immense pain that had grown in my chest, and that that pain was still growing. My body felt limp for some reason, with only my constant sobs as the only sounds echoing around the room. I didn't feel like doing anything, because I can never do anything else. There was nothing else I could think about. Nothing else but one.

Goodbye.

I didn't know what to say after that, after my lips uttered that word. Such a single word had let out a thousand meanings, but all was lost now that he took everything away with him. I had walked out of the room quietly, I didn't even remember closing the door behind me. Nor did I remember how I got back to Reikai. Nor did I remember how I got in here, how I laid myself in this messy heap on my bed. The image of Kurama's cold, impassive face was the only thing that remained. He looked away after I bid him that goodbye, he didn't look like he had anything else to say. He had held such a hard expression that time that I didn't know what it truly meant.

But one thing had been clear to me after I stepped out of that room. My goodbye was final.

Maybe that's the reason why I'm crying. After all those agonizing years of trying to know where he had gone to, after all those times I've thought about him, this was the welcome he had given me. I sighed. Maybe I was just fooling myself. Maybe he didn't really feel anything for me after all. Maybe he was just like those other ones I've heard about. Maybe he had just used me. Maybe it was only I who had thought something had been there.

But I shook my head. Looking back on that time on the tournament, when he rose from the heavy rubble of that ruined wall, he looked at me. I had never seen him so surprised. But he did try to smile back when I did, and that mere attempt had given me all the hope I needed to assure me his safety. But I suppose it wasn't enough to assure me of what he truly feels. After all, he looked away even before he could give me his smile.

I buried my face on the pillow I held, the softness of its fabric taking all my tears. But if he still felt the same way, why did he turn me down? I had been expecting something else, something less depressing. Even though I was afraid of going to him, afraid that he might've forgotten me, I didn't expect to say such a quick goodbye. He once had asked me if he could talk to me, was this what he meant by talking? Any goodbye was painful, a soundless goodbye, a furious goodbye, a sad goodbye. Whatever it is, it's painful, and I hate it. And I hate him. But maybe it was because I had come to love him so.

Everything had fitted so well, how he could always lock my gaze with his own. The once golden hue had turned into a sparkling green, but they still held the very same gleam that only he could ever possess. He had been the one, the very same man I have come to love even through the time that he was absent. I still loved him, after all those years of just living through his memories, living through my dreams. But after that day during the tournament, every single one of those dreams have been shattered piece by piece, leaving none for me to hold on to. My hope was all gone, for it was I who had said that word to say the least. I was the one whom he had made to say it. I was the one who declared our end.

But I wouldn't have done it if only he gave me the chance. Why must it end like that? What was he hiding that he didn't trust me to know about?

"Botan-chan?"

I looked up, quickly wiping the tears away and tilted my head towards the door. A ferry girl stood there against the light, her head to one side as she looked at me, her hands clasped in front of her. It was Inu-chan. She wore the usual purple kimono she owned, opening the door slightly, enough to just let a narrow ray of light to be emitted inside the room.

"Daijoubu ka, Botan-chan? Are you crying?" she asked, her voice worried.

I sighed, clearing my throat so my voice wouldn't shake. "Hai, daijoubu, Inu-chan."

It didn't need me to be good in acting to fool her. She nodded after a few seconds, opening the door further to let herself in. "Koenma-sama is sending you to go to Ningenkai on a new assignment."

I wasn't in the mood to go, but I nodded. I can do without Koenma-sama's whinning at the moment. "Arigatou, Inu-chan, I'll be getting ready."

I sighed as the door closed, leaving me in the darkness again. I bowed my head, letting out another tear before finally standing up to fix myself. My hand trembled as it held the tie I use for my hair, dropping it from time to time from the shaking. My heart was still racing, my sight still blurry from the darkness. Maybe this would help me clear my thoughts out. Maybe, as long as I stay away from him, things would work out well.

Maybe if I stay away, things would get back to where they were before. Years before I ever came to know that mysterious youkai thief who had succeeded in stealing my heart.

Yusuke was kidnapped!

My day was definitely not getting better. Puu had come to us in a panic, flying about the room as he tried to tell us something. But due to his inability to speak, we were having a hard time getting everything he was saying. Kuwabara was already in hysterics, glancing now and then somewhere to try and find a way to understand him. Puu finally flew to the chalkboard and started scribbling the words, causing Kuwabara-kun's hysteria in a real maximum.

So now we're running, following Puu to the site where Yusuke was abducted. It was obvious that Puu was really worried about Yusuke. And so was Kuwabara. And so was I. Yusuke had just won the tournament against Toguro, and now a few measly humans were able to abduct him?

"Oy, Puu, where the hell are we going anyway?!" Kuwabara asked, panting tiredly as he went on running after Puu. Puu just replied with a high-pitched "Puu!" and went on. The sun was about to set, but we barely noticed it. We were only thinking of Yusuke.

We finally reached the site, a vacant lot behind a wooden fence. The area was empty, as Kuwabara and I desperately tried to look for Yusuke. But there was no one there, with only a note and a bag in the middle of the lot. Kuwabara's eyes widened, recognizing the brown bag as Yusuke's and hurriedly ran to it. He picked up the note, reading it, his eyes rapidly flying through the letter.

The note had asked us to go to a certain house, confirming our fears that they have Yusuke. They said that they didn't care how many would come, as long as Kuwabara, Hiei and Kurama would come as well. "How the hell did they know about Kurama and Hiei?!" Kuwabara stood aghast, crumpling the letter in his hands. He pocketed it eventually though, as he turned to me, his eyes in a panic. "Nevermind that. We have to go find Kurama first, let's go!"

I blinked.

Kurama?

But before I could say anything, Kuwabara was pulling me towards the streets, his steps in big sprints as he dragged me behind him.

Kurama.

My heartbeat skipped just by the thought of seeing him again. A mixed fury of anxiety and fear started welling up in my chest, that I barely noticed it when Kuwabara pulled me across the road with him. I clenched my fists, dreading every step I took that would lead me to him. I was scared to see him, afraid that my mind might relive everything that had just happened. No, I wasn't ready yet.

I hesitated to go on, slowly pulling Kuwabara to a stop. He turned back, pulling me again, but I remained where I was. "Anou…Kuwabara-kun? I'm not sure, maybe we shouldn't bother Kurama-kun right now."

"What? Have you gone mental, Botan?! Yusuke's kidnapped for God's sakes, and we NEED Kurama at the moment, if it's not yet obvious from the letter!" he said, pulling the crumpled letter from his pocket and shoving it to my face.

I frowned. "I know but…let's just find Hiei-kun first. Or maybe you should just go to Kurama and I'll find Hiei."

Kuwabara shook his head. "We're just going to lose each other doing that. And even if we don't, we need Kurama to convince Hiei to come! That small fry for an idiot wouldn't listen to us even if we threaten his life with a stinkin' gun for cryin' out loud!"

"But Kuwabara-kun---!"

"No buts! We're only one street away from Kurama's school, we can't turn back now!"

Even before I could resist, he was pulling me more forcefully than before. It wasn't until a few minutes when we finally reached the gates of Meiou High, its metal bars cold and hard as I clutched to it in resistance. "Ne, Kuwabara-kun, maybe I should really look for Hiei…" but even before I can say anymore, Kuwabara shot me a suspicious glare.

"Oi, you sound like you're afraid to go to him," he said, pointing his thumb at the opened doors of the high school. "Something happened? 'Cause if Kurama did something to you I'll---"

"Iie, it's not like that."

"Then what the hell's the problem?!"

I didn't reply. I didn't know what to reply. I couldn't possibly tell Kuwabara-kun what happened between me and Kurama, the story's too long, too complex for me to even understand. I heard him puff out an exasperated sigh as he started pacing down the walkway towards the front door. I stayed where I was, watching him reach for the latch on the front building. He turned to me, shooting up an eyebrow as he held a hand to his waist.

"You coming or not?" he asked.

I sighed, willing my feet to move as I took that first step. I suppose nothing would happen, I mean, that was our final mention of what happened in the past. Maybe, like what I'm trying to do, Kurama had forgotten. Maybe, he hadn't even given it much thought. But I guess that's fine, as much as that hurt, it's the best thing for both of us now. Yusuke is in trouble, and we're the only ones who can help him. I can't turn back now.

I followed.

"KURAMA!!!"

A sweatdrop ran down my head as I tried my best to stop Kuwabara-kun from his…er, very loud search. "Ne, Kuwabara-kun, that's a bit too loud," I told him, timidly avoiding the annoyed stares the other students gave us. I laid a hand on Kuwabara's shoulder to stop him from shouting again, pulling him back from his giant, and VERY loud steps.

"But how can we find him if we won't call him? He HAS to hear us through THIS!" And to my grief horror, Kuwabara-kun took a deep breath and…

"KURAMA!!! COME OUT! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!"

As if that wasn't bad enough, he started kicking doors now, startling the poor students of Meiou High to no end. A bunch of them had started following us with curious eyes, whispering to each other as they shot Kuwabara-kun a curious gaze. I frowned. How come these students look like they don't know who Kurama was? Surely, he would've been known, he's probably the most intelligent of them in here, not to mention one of the best looking most probably. But I shook my head vigorously to stop that line of thought. How can I forget about him if I kept on thinking about him this way? I sighed, and just settled on trying to calm Kuwabara down.

"Kuwabara-kun, I swear, we're going to get kicked out if you keep doing that!" I protested in vain, watching helplessly as he landed another kick on a laboratory door. I think I heard a faint, "Minamino…!" before my eyes shot out as I saw a young male get ran down by the door that Kuwabara just kicked.

Kuwabara, meanwhile, didn't seem to see the boy. "There you are!" he exclaimed, throwing up his hands as he hit Kurama on the back. "We've been looking everywhere for you!"

Kurama blinked, his green eyes looking at Kuwabara as he stood there dumbstruck. He was probably surprised to see Kuwabara there, and his eyes glanced around, probably to see if there was any more. I tried backing away, hiding behind a number of students that had stood there watching. But he saw me, his eyes locking mine in one of those mystical, penetrating stares, and I cursed the uniform I wore. It must've caught his attention. The uniform of Kurama's school was a tad bit on the dark colors side, while Yusuke and Kuwabara's were light. The color was a bit of a show off compared to the other students', I'm afraid.

Kurama stood still, his eyes on mine as was mine on his. Suddenly I couldn't move, my hands turning cold beside me as my feet felt like they were glued to the ground. It seemed like hours, our gazes intact, our bodies immobile. I couldn't look away. Fortunately for me, just before I thought I couldn't breathe anymore, one student asked, "Excuse me, who are you looking for?"

Kuwabara frowned, and was about to answer when the student flashed a questioning gaze at Kurama. "Minamino-san, do you know these people?"

Minamino? I thought, looking at the boy. That was when I remembered. Kurama's human name, Shuuichi Minamino. The thought must've slipped my mind.

It wasn't until a few seconds when Kurama stirred, his head seeming to hesitate. Finally, his eyes let go off mine, turning to the boy that asked the question. He let out a sheepish smile, holding up a hand in assurance. "Ah! Nevermind, it's just a street name I use." He then turned to Kuwabara and I and whispered, "You're the only ones who call me 'Kurama'. Here, I'm known as 'Minamino'."

Kuwabara nodded in understanding, staring dumbly at Kurama as he thought of what to do. Kurama let out a sweatdrop, his eyes sliding down from us to the broken door. "And…Kuwabara-kun, would you mind…?" he finished off the sentence with a slight point to the ground, referring to the poor boy who laid sprawling on the floor as Kuwabara stood on top of him with the door.

Kuwabara yelped, jumping down the ground as he lifted the door. "Gomen!" he exclaimed, lifting the door up and bowing down before the boy in apology.

Kurama and I stared with sweatdrops on our heads. But then, another student approached us. He was as tall as Kuwabara, his black hair combed out of his face, hands tucked casually in his pockets. He put an arm around Kurama's shoulder, letting out a mischievous grin as he punched him lightly on the arm. "Oya, Shuuichi! So this was where you've been hiding your girlfriend, eh?" he teased, eyeing me up and down. I stepped back, trying to avoid his piercing gaze and looked away. I felt him grin again, and he turned to Kurama. "She IS your girlfriend, isn't she? If she's not, you're not as smart as you look after all! I mean, she IS pretty and all…" he looked at me again.

I frowned, definitely not pleased with him. I looked at Kurama. He must've felt the same thing. He held a passive face now, very much unlike the one he gave the other boy from the room. He didn't hold the usual, innocent expression he frequently held around other people. I could've sworn he held the expression of his youkai side, his lips curved in a small smirk, his eyes as cold and passive as they were during his fights. He looked at the other boy, a satisfied twinkle shining from his eyes. And I held my breath as I heard his reply. "I didn't say she's not, Imonu-san, but I would truly appreciate it if you don't ask any more questions about my personal life," he said calmly, his eyes of shimmering jade looking straight into the other one's own.

Even before the other boy could say anything else, and even before the other students reacted from their little trance of shock, Kurama pulled me by the hand as he gestured Kuwabara to follow. It wasn't until a few seconds before Kuwabara was able to shake his head from the very same trance he went into and followed.

We exited the building. I hid my face in embarrassment as I tried avoiding the other students' gazes, ignoring their silent murmurs about Shuuichi Minamino's new 'girlfriend'. I also tried avoiding Kuwabara's confused eyes as he looked at us uncertainly. And though in vain, I was trying to ignore Kurama's warm hand as it held my own, obediently following his quick strides out of the suddenly heated building.

"Oooiii…you didn't tell us you were dating!" he exclaimed, frantically pointing fingers at me and Kurama by the time we were out of the gates. "How come you didn't tell us? How long have you been together?!"

It wasn't until then did I realize how much I was blushing from the earlier show Kurama had done, and I tried hiding my face from them both as I looked away. I didn't dare say anything. And by the time I was certain that there nobody else but us three, I took my hand back from his, dreading the fact that it had caused my heartbeat to quicken into an unimaginable pace. I turned away, hiding behind the tall shadow of Kuwabara as he went on with all of his questions.

I felt Kurama's eyes on me before he turned to Kuwabara, giving him a patient look with a slight shake of his head. "Iya, Kazuma-san, I was pretending. That guy there was Hyo Imonu, and he's been trying to rival me in everything, I think it's been his past time embarrassing me from other students," he said, frowning slightly. "And…" he looked at me from the corner of his eyes, but he quickly took it back and looked up at Kuwabara again. "I've heard he's a known hentai around here, I didn't want him to…" he paused. He let out a tired sigh, letting a hand sway nonchalantly as he turned his back to us. "Iya, nevermind. Let's just go."

He started walking, and I followed him, a few steps behind. I couldn't walk beside him, I was blushing too much to even risk it. Kuwabara was left staring in place, must've been contemplating on what Kurama said earlier. I held my peace, not knowing what to say or what to do. I felt as if a cold knife was stabbed on my throat, and it seemed impossible for me to speak. I have never felt this uneasy with anybody before, but as I stole a glance of him now, I didn't need any further questions. It was plainly because he was there, and it was plainly because he didn't show any sign to reassure me that tings would be fine. I felt myself frowning again, as I bit my lower lip to keep it from trembling.

But even before I could entertain any old pains, he stopped in mid-step, turning back to face me. He held the most mysterious expression he had ever revealed, his eyes on the ground. He tapped one tip of his shoe on the cemented street, seeming to hesitate at first but decided against it. He sighed. "Anou…" he started, glancing up at me, his lips curving into a small, almost hopeful smile. "Gomen."

I blinked up at him. It seemed like an eternity before I could take that word in. But after a few moments of understanding, my chest felt light, as if a heavy burden had been lifted up from it. I looked at him silently, his eyes still on mine as he held a silent apology. His smile never left him, and he cocked his head to one side and waited for my reply. Call me naïve, but that smile had somehow meant the world to me then, like it usually had been. And for the first time after the end of the Ankonku Bujutsuukai, I let out the expression that I seemed to have missed, and seemed to have doubted to ever come back.

I smiled.

End of chapter 10