By: Milah Luciana Merverosa
A/N: Please Read and Review! A/N: I've so got
this paragraph spacing licked! *cha ching!*
I have a mortal fear of lawyers. In the words of Twisted Sister, "We're
not going to take it", and I won't. I own nothing. If I did, I wouldn't be
here... *grimace*
Kind regards,
~Milah Luciana Merverosa
Chapter nine
Severus felt my forehead, touched my hand to feel for clamminess, and made a big fuss with a thorough examination of me. I found this to be quite unnerving. He turned his attention away from me when Dumbledore spoke.
"This isn't good Severus." Dumbledore placed a protective hand on my shoulder. "What can you tell me about the Gurth Curse."
Severus looked immensely careworn, "The word 'Gurth' is the Elvish word for death. I did much research to help develop this torture technique when I worked for Voldemort. A victim is slowly mentally decomposed by memories. Often the only noticeable symptom of Gurth, is absentmindedness." He placed his left hand on my stomach. "You'll be fine Milah. I can fix this... She's totally coherent, but is imprisoned inside her body. All Death Eaters are familiar with this particular curse. What surprises me, is why she didn't notice the symptoms right away, and look for help. No matter, Milah, I'll have you up and fighting soon." He caressed my cheek, and walked out the room.
"Never fear, Milah... Your men will always look out for you. Lucky for you that Severus knows what he's doing." Albus rose from his chair with a final thought of 'I hope'. "I believe that outside, a certain person is quite beside himself. I will fill him in on everything that has happened, and send him in to keep you company. I hope this is okay." I heard the doorknob click, and voices outside going a mile a minute.
*~*~*~*~*~(F/B)*~*~*~*~*~
"Where is she? Is she okay? Where's my fiancé?"
"Please sir, this is a hospital. Do calm yourself. You could disturb other patients."
"Where is Milah Merverosa?" Remus demanded.
"Nurse, see if you can't find where this man's fiancé is..."
Remus walked up to the nurse's station. "Name?" She asked brusquely.
"Milah Merverosa." His voice was shaking. The only thing that he knew was that she had been hurt badly on the job. It was a high profile Ministry of Magic raid.
He thought that he saw her eyes soften as she read her chart. "Room 504 L." She stated, quite a bit more gently than before.
"Is there anything that I should know before I go in?"
"Just be quiet; she's been through quite an ordeal."
*****(present day)*****
"Milah? I know that you're awake. Albus told me all about it. Gurth sounds terrible." He laughed nervously. "G-d, this is the second time I've done this. I should be an old pro, right?" He twiddled his thumbs. "What should I do; I don't want you to be bored... Um, I could read you a book. No, I'll just talk about nothing for awhile. Last time you said that it made you feel better." He sank into the plush chair at my side and bowed his head. "I remember, like it was yesterday, the first time that I met you."
*~*~*~*~*~(F/B) *~*~*~*~*~
"Lasciamme solo!" I cried. "Perfavore. Please! No hurt!" My English was very rough, and I was having a difficult time. Many children were nice to me, but most felt the need to pick on me. This particular night a Hufflepuff and a Slytherin, my own housemate, were pushing me around.
"What was that retard? What did you say?" I never ever saw a Hufflepuff so mean
"Lasciamme solo!" (Translation: Leave me alone!) I held my hands in front of me for defense. They were closing in to beat me.
"Mr. Nellwitz, Mr. Malfoy! Do not move an inch!" An icy voice screamed.
"Professor LeStrange, what are you doing here?" The Slytherin asked, more than a little nervously.
"Obviously, I arrived right on time. Detention with Filch tomorrow night! I can't wait to see what he comes up with..." Pure wickedness was flashing in her eyes. Now go, both of you..." They ran like scared children. "Milah, do you know why Professor Dumbledore sent you here?"
"English, please, I think?" Four of about eight English words in my vocabulary.
"Yes, English. As Head of Slytherin House, I am to oversee your training. Your tutor is none other than Remus Lupin." She put her arm on Remus' shoulder. 'He's a sickly looking thing', I thought to myself, 'how is he going to teach me English?'
"Hallo Remus. Molto piacere." (nice to meet you) I chose my words carefully, not wanting to look dumb.
"Hello Milah, It's nice to meet you too." His eyes shone. "I'm glad that Dumbledore asked me to help you. You seem very nice, and I know how hard it is moving to a new place." He extended his hand to shake, and I looked at him dumbly. He laughed. "We have a lot to learn Milah! You're smart, so you'll pick up quickly."
*****(Present time)*****
"I saw Nellwitz just last week, Milah. Boy is he ugly!" He laughed at his own joke. "How would both our lives have been different, Milah, if Dumbledore hadn't asked me to tutor you? I can't even begin to imagine." He stood up to stretch his legs. "It's nearly dark outside. I'll be back in a minute. I'd like to get a cloth to wipe your face. Don't worry Milah, I'll come back."
*~*~*~*~*~(F/B)*~*~*~*~*
"504 L." He read a sign on the door in St. Mungo's. It made perfect sense because tan robed Aurors were crowding the entire floor. This was obviously a big raid. Upon noticing him, Rupert Felton, her fellow Auror and mentor, walked up to Remus. "She fought valiantly Remus." He placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "She fought like a true soldier. She took three of them down with her."
Fear struck into Remus' heart, "Wait! Took three down with her? She's dead?"
"No, no, no, Remus, you misunderstood me. Calm down. She killed three Death Eaters. Got one after she was wounded. She's not quite conscious yet, but if you talk to her, she'll know. Nothing serious, Remus. Keep it light." He lifted his hand off of Remus' shoulder, "Oh, and I speak for the entire Ministry when I saw that we are sorry for your loss. I'm afraid that we didn't know..." He stepped aside to let a perplexed Remus open the door.
The door was immensely heavy, and took forever to open, creaking every step of the way. He took baby steps in, afraid of what he'd find. Death Eaters were brutal creatures, sub-human... "Oh my G-d, Milah! What have they done to you?" A single tear dropped down his bony face. "I'll kill them, I swear, if I ever come in contact with one, I'll kill it!" He seemed to suddenly realize that his conversation was anything but cheerful. "Keep it light Remus! Okay..." He looked thoughtful. "You like good Jewish jokes, right? I heard one yesterday... A rabbi, a priest and a minister walked into a bar... No, that one's not funny, but hey, this one is... I laughed so hard." His eyes glittered "You're at a Jewish wedding... How can you tell if it's Orthodox, Reform, or Liberal?" He looked at me purposely, expecting me to answer. "You don't know? Well, in an Orthodox wedding, the bride's mother is pregnant. In a Reform wedding, the bride is pregnant. In a Liberal wedding the Rabbi is pregnant!" He grabbed his sides with laughter. "Or what about this one? 'Moishe, will you still love me when my hair is gray?' asks Yente. 'Of course,' says Moishe. 'I've loved you through blond, brunette, red and every other colour. Why not gray?' You're probably not amused, so I'll cut it with the ethnic jokes..." His voice trailed. "I'm sorry that I forgot to call on you yesterday... I know that I should have. G-d, I feel terrible! Did it hurt you Milah? I never want you to hurt..."
*****(present day)*****
Severus locked himself in the classroom that night. He experimented with all kinds of potions. Most didn't have the effect he wanted to. "How many rats am I going to have to test?" He was getting frustrated. This was not his idea of fun. Finally, he placed half of a newt's retina, and the anal cavity of a toad in the mysterious concoction. It turned a sickly green, and let out a long hiss. Severus conjured up another rat, Gurthed it, and fed it the potion. It moved, but only just. "I suppose that a little movement is better than no movement at all..." He spooned some in a large glass. "This stuff looks detestable; thank G-d that she's knocked out, or I'd never get her to drink it."
I was still unconscious, and could feel Remus wiping the sweat off my brow. After all these years, he still loved me. He never left my side... I felt terrible. A searing pain roared in my left sleeve, snapping me out of Gurth. "AAOOOOOOOOOWWWOOOOOO! Que DOLOR!" I sat up quickly, knocking the chair, as well as its occupant, backwards. "Il mio Braccio!" (My arm!) Savage blood curdling screams were coming from my mouth. Remus was terrified. He stumbled as he stood up, dusting himself off.
"Milah, Milah... Hey... It was all a dream. It's okay, I've got you." I didn't hear him. My Dark Mark never hurt like this before.
Severus was doubled over in the hallway. He nearly dropped Milah's Gurth potion, but when he heard her scream, he knew that it didn't matter. Despite his own pain, he ran down the darkened corridor to her room. "Lupin must be terrified", he said with a revolting smile.
"Please Milah," He sat on the edge of the bed. "Please stop screaming. It's alright." Severus appeared in the doorway.
"Lupin, OUT!" He pointed outside the door.
"I'm not leaving." He protectively put an arm round me, hitting my mark, making it worse.
"LUPIN, OUT!" He yelled this time. Remus left. I looked at Severus with tears glistening in my crystal blue eyes.
"Can you feel it? It hurts, Severus. My arm..." I whimpered.
*~*~*~*~*~(F/B) *~*~*~*~*~*~
An owl floated to a nearby apartment. Large and tawny, he'd seen it before. "Arpeggio, what are you doing here?" Severus asked the owl. He displayed the letter attached to his leg. "Milah wrote me a letter! She's on speaking terms with me? She hasn't spoken to me since... It's been more than a year... Thank you Arpeggio." He handed the owl a cracker in thanks, and it took off.
The text of the letter was simple. It didn't even sound like something Milah would write:
My house, eight o'clock.
~M.
"I wonder what's going on..." He stated, but he had fifteen minutes to get ready.
Being an Auror for the Ministry of Magic, I was well paid. I lived in a nice sized house all by myself, and I could afford anything that I wanted. Money was no issue to a high up Auror such as myself. Severus opened the large black iron gate and stepped inside. Something wasn't right, and he felt it. Slowly, ever so slowly, he drew his wand as he walked to the door. It opened automatically as he stood near it. "Milah? Are you home?" He went no farther than the door frame.
"Sono qui Sevi!" (I'm here, Severus) He heard me say, and followed my voice. He found me sitting in a plush green chair. A fire was lit in the hearth, and I was knitting. An Afghan most likely, he thought. She looks magnificent, his mind wandered over my frame. I Covered my scars with a long-sleeved dress robe that clung in all the right places, but flowed as I stood to greet my visitor. "Good evening, Severus. I'm glad that you came so suddenly." I touched his cheek. "You look uncomfortable. What's the matter?"
"You haven't spoken to me in a year, and now it's as if no time has been lost... I don't understand."
"Neither did I, at first. I wanted to kill you. I knew that I would be an Auror, and you were a Death Eater. I wanted to be the one to kill you." I noticed the nervousness that crossed his face. "Put your wand down Severus, I am unarmed." I pointed to my wand sitting on an end table. "If the Ministry knew that you were here, in my living room, the place would be swamped." I looked away, almost ashamed to share my secret- our secret.
"Why am I here, Milah?" He grabbed my hand and looked into my eyes. He gave me a menacing glare, trying to intimidate me. "You've known me for years. Hateful, bitter, Severus. You know that there's nothing that you can't tell me."
My eyes averted from his gaze, "I'm ashamed of myself, but I did it."
"Did what?" His eyes were searching to see what I had done. He was really getting worried. 'Has she gone mad?' he thought.
I sat down on the edge of my seat and reached for my sleeve. "I did it for you... You're not so lonely now..." Tears flowed freely from my eyes. It hurt... I raised it for him to see that I too, was a minion of Voldemort.
"When did- Why did- I don't understand, Milah? You're an Auror..." A million thoughts flashed through Severus' mind, and none of them were good. Was this a ploy to reel him in?
"It hurts me, Severus. It burns..." I dropped my sleeve, put my face in my hands and cried. "The only reason he took me so willingly was because of my high ranking position... I would be a good informant. What have I done, Severus?"
I looked up at him, and I've never seen him so upset. "Why Milah? You really signed your life over to him?"
I nodded, "I thought that it would be good. You never regretted joining..."
"But I have no one, Milah! I've spent my life alone. Dead parents, siblings, no friends... You were it, Milah... My whole world wrapped up in one small package. You didn't feel the same way... I'm a bitter man... I had no life to sign over, but you- You have everything..."
"Don't you think that I'm lonely too, Sevi? My life was never easy! It hurts... Help me... Please... I don't want to be alone anymore. I don't want to suffer this alone..."
He stood, crossed the room, and sat down on the floor in front of me; like he used to do in school... "You can do, survive, and be anything you want to." I saw the cruelty slowly ebbing out of his beetle black eyes. "Whatever made you choose this path is personal. There is no way out except for death. We're in this for life, Milah. This is no game..." He took my left hand and pressed it against his cheek, despair now evident on his face. "You were never alone. I was always here for you, as was Lupin." He said his name with venom because he was jealous that I chose to date Remus. "Does he know? Did you tell Lupin?" He looked into my eyes. I had forgotten how black they were. Emotionless and heartless, to a point.
"That's a stupid question, Severus. Why would I tell Remus something like this?"
Pain flashed in my old friend's eyes, "Because he loves you. You don't hide things from the people you love, Milah, that's why I told you as soon as it happened." A tear dropped from his eye. For a nineteen year old, he looked so much older.
"I can't tell him. Remus can never know, Severus. It might kill him."
"He'll find out eventually Milah, you know this?"
"Only if someone tells him." I looked deeply at my friend, hinting that I didn't want Remus to be told.
"When he comes back from his studies and spends long nights here, don't you think he will see? He may be a bit thick, but he's not stupid Milah."
"I never accused him of being dumb. I shall just... Lights off, you know..." He had a good point, and I didn't like it. I knew that he would find out-- someday.
"And what about the pains in your arm? I'm sure he will eventually notice those as well as the mysterious nighttime disappearances. You should never hide things from the person you love, but I can respect your decision for not telling him. Only know that I will be here for you when he finds out. I don't know how he will take the news. It probably won't be well... He may leave you... You and I both know that he's in the Order of the Phoenix."
"Thank you Sevi... For being here for me, I mean." He stood to leave. "Please Severus, don't go..." I wasn't thinking clearly... My mind was fuzzy, the room was spinning, and perhaps I had a bit too much to drink; but I had never seen Severus look so powerful. He looked powerful and beautiful. His boyish face had been transformed in the expanse of a year to a very manly, gaunt face. Despite its ruggedness, I found its splendor.
"Why should I stay?" His eyes narrowed, his lips pursed.
"Because you want to... I know you do..." I reached out my hand to stroke his hair. He was just inches from me now. I could feel his warm breath on my neck as I snaked my arms around him. His body went rigid.
"Jesus, Milah..." He croaked out, barely above a whisper.
"Jesus has nothing to do with this... Not in my house, at least." I murmured sweetly, and I kissed him with a ferocity that was never seen before, nor will ever be seen again. I reached to unbutton his robe, and he removed his hands from my waist to stop me.
"Are you sure that you want to do this? If you go any further, I won't be able to stop... Even if you ask me to..." His breathing had become much more rapid, and I was suddenly aware of the precarious situation that I was placed in.
I don't know what came over me. I wasn't myself... "Then don't stop. Don't stop Severus... Never stop..."
*****(time change)*****
I had the best sex of my life that night. Remus had always been a good lover, but I had nothing to hide from Severus. He accepted me for who I was, what I was. Emotionally, I belonged to both men. Remus was better husband material, but Severus, as kindhearted as he could be, was the better lover. Severus was also better off financially than Remus would ever be... The Dark Lord paid his servants very well. I opened up a whole new can of worms that night, getting a lot more than I bargained for.
I had a boyfriend continuing his education in Ireland, and a Death Eater sharing my bed at home. I told you that I wasn't thinking clearly... I should lay off the schnops, and believe me, after that night, I did...
*** *
A/N: What do you think?
I'll never know if you don't review... Even if it's short because it's the only
way I know that people are reading. Check out a picture of Milah on the link at
my author page. Check out my Live Journal too!
This is one of my better chapters. I like it because it really shows the
anguish that Milah is going through... It shows how it's got her doing strange
things. *grins* She can pass Severus and Remus on to me when she's done playing
with them...
*winks*
Later babes!
~Milah