By: Milah Luciana Merverosa
A/N: Please Read and Review! I'm very sick.
Don't expect much out of this chapter, but I'll be sure to try and trudge
through it...
I have a mortal fear of lawyers. In the words of REM, "Everybody
Hurts", and I do everyday because I own nothing. If I did, I wouldn't be
here now would I??? *grimace*
Ok, we're still in flashback! Several weeks have passed, and keep in mind that
Remus is traveling the world to gain experience with all of these dark
creatures... Severus has "moved in", and poor Milah is trying to get
her act together... Oy, such a soap opera!
Kind regards,
~Milah Luciana Merverosa
Chapter ten
"Good Morning..." Severus cooed. I rolled over and put a pillow over my head.
"Go away, Severus..."
"Ooh... Big time Auror spy Merverosa has a temper." He bent over to
kiss me, and I took a mad swing in the air with my pillow.
"Get away. I'm tired."
"All you do is sleep... You're boring!" I could almost feel
his sarcasm.
I knew that he wouldn't allow me to sleep, so I sat up. "I have two full
time jobs, Severus. I'm always tired. Feeding useless information to Death
Eater central is hard, especially when you spend most of your day trying to
pick out all of the useless information... I'm tired, and I'm getting a
cold." I was whining by now. "Owl Mr. Felton and tell him to cover
for me..."
He raised his eyebrows and said, "Right Milah, I am just going to owl a
top Ministry Auror and announce that you're staying home sick... Whatever drugs
you're on, I need them..."
"I guess it would be bad for a wanted, supposed Death Eater to owl me in
as sick..." I lay back down in bed.
"Do you want breakfast?"
"I'm sick... Make it yourself..."
"No... I'm asking if you want it..." He sat at the edge of the bed,
by my face.
"I'll only throw it up. Go away please. I need to heal now..." I
slept until I kept hearing a tapping noise. "Severus, get out of my
house... Now!" The tapping got louder... I picked up my head and yelled,
"Go to hell for all I care, Severus, just go!!" He walked in
looking startled.
"What did I do?" He truly looked dumbfounded.
"Then... What?? I'm going to die..." I collapsed, and the
confounded tapping started again.
"Oh, is that what's bothering you? I'm afraid that is my fault then. An
owl flew in today, and it was rather insistent that it get to you. I told him
where your window was..." He walked over to open my bay window. It was far
too cold for that.
"Close that window, dammit. Are you mad? I'm in my skivvies!"
"And if I had just one wish, you'd stay that way. I have to go for awhile.
I'll be back later." He kissed me softly, and dissapperated right there.
The owl landed on my bed. He looked exhausted. "Sorry I didn't open the
window for you. They have a refreshment station in the kitchen, if you're
interested..." I took the letter from his leg, and upon reading the
address, my heart skipped a beat. "Ireland! It's from Remus!!"
I tore the envelope open to read:
Dear Milah,
How are you? I hope that all is well. I'm just finishing up with Ireland, and
by the time you get this, I should be nearly home. I'm planning on spending the
week with you, and then it's off to Bulgaria. They have a fantastic array of
grindylows to study. Expect me to apparate about lunch time! I have so much to
tell you, Milah... A lot has happened
to me since we last saw each other... I love you with all of my heart and soul!
~Remus J. Lupin
"Shit!" What am I going to do now... I looked at my watch.
"11:30!" I sent a quick note to Severus telling him to sod off for a
bit, and dressed as fast as possible. There was a knock. G-d, I feel
terrible...
"Remus!" I exclaimed. I truly was happy to see him. "Oh baby,
how are you? I'm so glad that you came home."
He kissed me. "I couldn't stay away for long. After all, I had to tell you
what you mean to me." He knelt down on my front porch. "You have been
my entire world since I met you. I've loved you for G-d knows how long, and I
can't imagine my life without you..." He looked up, and tears were in his
eyes. "I guess what I'm trying to say is... Well, um, Milah..." He
pulled a box out of his robes. "Will you make me the happiest man in the
world, and marry me?"
I was speechless. How do you answer to a greeting like that? I'll tell you what
I did... I threw up. Right on the porch... It narrowly missed Remus. He
grimaced. "Is that a yes?"
"I'm sick stupid... But yes, I'll marry you." I passed out.
*****(present day)*****
Waking up
Monday morning for my first day of class took some doing. I somehow managed,
and stumbled off to the old Charms classroom. I sat down at my desk and
mentally profiled each of the students as the came in. My very first class was
Slytherin and Gryffindor sixth years. Oh, what fun... Forgive me if I don't do cartwheels. Many of the Slytherin
children looked just like their parents. I called roll as a sort of Protocol
because it's what teachers do.
"Vicent Crabbe, Gregory Goyle, Draco Malfoy..."
*~*~*~*~*~(F/B) *~*~*~*~*~
"You
dirty son of a bitch! Get off the ground!" I hit the man in the head with
a lead pipe again. "Why don't you move? Is it because old Voldie told you
not to?" I kicked him in his side. "You're just a scared old man,
Malfoy. Scared and insignificant. I'm gonna be so happy when your ass is in the
clink. Crucio!" He curled into a fetal position, and Draconis Malfoy Sr.
was no more. The aged Death Eater's frame couldn't take the pain.
"One down..." I slipped stealthily through the
abandoned castle that was Death Eater Central. When they gave me my assignment
this morning, my eyes nearly popped out of my head. Here I am, pregnant, and
going on a ministry raid. Of course I left the pregnant part out... I won't
tell Rupert until he needs to know. Nothing bad is going to happen to me
here...
I wandered the dark corridors searching for the room where a rumored stone was supposed to be. I could find nothing, but my primary job was to stun as many Death Eaters as I could, so someone else could find it. They came out of nowhere. An entire circle of about five came at me. I pitched and dodged both curses, and physical objects. I caused another one to go down. He wasn't moving... I was really getting tired...
"What
the hell? Milah, hang on! We're coming!" Good, reinforcements.
I never saw it coming. I heard Rupert yell for me to move, but I didn't know
where to go. The other Aurors had knocked out all but one Death Eater, and she
was the one who did it. "Fuego!" it cried. Then I was engulfed in
flame. Not thinking, as I'm sure most burning people wouldn't be, I used the
killing curse on the Death Eater. Then I collapsed into darkness.
***********************************************************************
"Imogene
Mystique, Harry Potter..." I looked up to see a dark haired boy sitting at
the head of the class, "Just like your father." I smiled, and to my
relief, so did he. "Hermione Granger, Pansy Parkinson, Ronald Weasley...
Forgive me if I don't feel like calling the entire roll as there's quite a few
of you." I looked around, and noticed who was paying attention. "For
our first lesson, I decided to do something fun. We're almost all sixth
years!" I said with a grin. Just then, Remus walked in. "And some of
us, have the maturity level of a sixth year..."
The students roared with laughter. "Sorry to interrupt you Professor, but
I must request a private audience..."
"Why so formal Remus? Let me get them started, and then we can talk."
I motioned him to sit at my desk. The students were still laughing.
"Did she say something about me?" He looked absolutely baffled.
"Harry, you'd tell me right?"
Poor Harry didn't know what to do... "Um, well, Professor... She stated
how lovely you looked... Yeah, that was it!"
"Today we are going to do beautification charms!" I said brightly.
"They aren't very difficult, and can come in handy when you're in a bit of
a bind..." I looked at my colleague only to see how terrible he looked. 'Full
moon tonight', I thought to myself. "To do this charm you must learn
the proper wand movement." I demonstrated "See, it's not too bad,
notice how good I am at it? It gets better with practice..." Both the
students and Remus laughed. It was good to see him crack a smile... "Now,
combine this with 'Bellaficationis'. This charm will be your best friend if you
don't sleep the night before... Keep practicing while I see what Professor
Lupin needs. Pick your own partner, huh?"
We stepped into my office, and I shut the door to muffle the sound of chanting
students. "What's the matter Remus?"
"I need you to do something for me. It's not going to be an easy task, but
I need it to be done. You were the only one that I trust..."
*~*~*~*~*~(F/B) *~*~*~*~*
He sat at my bedside in St. Mungo's for hours before a nurse came in to check on me. "Oh, are you family?"
He looked beside himself. "Yes, I'm the only family she
has. I'm her fiancé."
She suddenly looked down at my chart and looked back up again. "I'm
terribly sorry. I'm so sorry. It's never easy to lose one..."
"Lose what? She's alive! I'm watching her breathe..."
"You didn't know? Ms. Merverosa was with child. The child was unable to
survive with the intense conditions that an elemental curse creates within the
body. Your baby didn't stand a chance..." She placed a hand on Remus'
shoulder. "I'm so very sorry."
His face was unreadable. "I didn't even know that she was pregnant. How
far was she?"
"We don't know. Things were in pretty bad shape when we
found out. It looks about eight weeks... Could be more or less though."
"Just the time that I came home from Ireland. Oh,
Milah..." He sat down by the bed and rested both his hand and his head on
my tummy. "If only I'd known. I'm so sorry that I left again."
"Sir, there's nothing there. You won't hear a heartbeat.
Your child is gone... Your fiancé is doing well though." She said quickly,
hoping to loosen the tension in the room. "She isn't in much pain. Her
vitals are excellent. She'll pull through with flying colors."
"Thank you nurse." He put his head in his hands
and cried for hours on end.
*****(present day)*****
"What's the matter, Remus?"
"Full Moon is tonight."
"Yes..." I didn't quite know where this was going.
I raised my eyebrows to show that I was interested.
"This will be the first time that I use this miracle
potion. I'm scared to do it by myself as I don't know what will happen. Severus
didn't want to sit with me. Said to go and ask you because he didn't want to
get eaten."
I laughed. "He always did have a sick sense of
humour."
"It's not funny, Milah."
"I'm sorry, Remus." I put my head on his shoulder.
"I never meant to offend. What's this potion supposed to do, anyway?"
I popped my head up instantly because I heard an explosion.
The scene that greeted me outside my office door was
shocking. "Imogene Mystique! What
did you do?" I looked to a red-headed Gryffindor.
"I got stuck with Draco Malfoy as a partner, and he
said something crummy. I accidentally did the beautification
counter-curse. I didn't mean to, honest." She struggled to keep her
composure, as did the rest of Gryffindor house. The Slytherins were quite
upset.
I struggled to keep laughter at bay. "Remus, I'm not
quite sure what to do here. How would you handle this?"
"Malfoy, hospital wing. Imogene, you can serve a
detention with me on Thursday night." He really looked terribly ill.
"You'll help me then, Professor." The class couldn't help but notice
the look of desperation in his eyes.
"Of course I will, what are friends for? I'll see you in a bit." He
left as quietly as he entered. "So, who managed it?" For the most
part, they all looked quite lovely. Seamus Finnigan scorched his partner a bit,
but all in all they looked great. "Ok my pretties. You may leave. Practice
more! Get it down pat my our next session. We'll cover engorgement charms. Have
a good day!" I shouted as they filed out the room. All except for one.
"Mr. Potter, is something wrong."
"You knew my father?"
"I knew all the marauders. I was friends with your parents through
Professor Lupin. He taught me English after I transferred here from Durmstrang,
and we became fast friends. You look just like your father, right down to your
scruffy hair. But you have the eyes of your mother."
*~*~*~*~*~(F/B) *~*~*~*~*
"Oh
Lily, I'm never going to find a date to the Halloween Ball." I was
distraught at the thought of being the only sixth year without a date. She was
scanning the courtyard for someone without a date, most likely.
She looked at me quite seriously, "What about Severus?
None of us ever liked him, but he's quite taken by you."
"He doesn't want to go. Already expressed his distaste for social
events."
"He simply doesn't want to go? Or has he specifically said that he doesn't
want to go with you? Have you asked him?"
She asked me with a quizzical expression on her face.
"After all the negative things that he's said about them?
Why would I ask him?"
"Because Milah, he may be trying to talking himself out
of going. I'm sure that he'd go with you if you asked him."
"I would rather not." I thought about the scene he
created three nights ago, showing me his dark mark. "I would rather not
attend on his arm." My eyes darkened.
"I have an idea. Don't move!" She ran off in James
Potter's direction, whispered something while pointing at me, and I watched as
he ran off. Something was going on, and I didn't like it; not one little bit.
*****(Present Day)*****
"Sure Harry, your parents were loads of fun. Sirius was too. How is
he?" I hadn't thought of Sirius in years.
"He's well. He's off with one of his friends while I'm
at school. I'll be sure to tell him that you asked for him though." He
looked a bit awkward. "I've known Professor Lupin for a long time, and
umm."
"As have I."
I smiled at this miniature version of James.
"Well, I wanted to say that." He ran his fingers
through his unruly hair.
"Your father always did that when he was either
nervous, or hiding something." I raised my eyebrows.
"I wanted to say that I see how his eyes light up when
he sees you. I think that it's nice for him to have a friend. He needs
one." Harry seemed to have found
something fascinating about his feet because he couldn't look me in the eyes...
"Thank you Harry. Don't you have a class to go
to?"
"Oh!" He ran out the room at top speed.
"Just like his father..."
*~*~*~*~*~(F/B) *~*~*~*~*
"Jeez Severus, dinner is yucky
tonight." I had a disgusted look on my face.
"You're just bitter because it's pork, yum." He
took a big bite.
"Bleach! How can you eat that?" Just then I heard
the sounds of angry voices. Looking around for the source of the trouble, I saw
Remus walking up to the Slytherin table. He looked quite a bit healthier than
he did two days before.
"Snape." He nodded a greeting.
"Hallo teacher Remus. You look like you feel better. I
hope that you do." I stabbed at the pork. "Ick."
"That's a flattering face you made there." He
smiled sadly. "I do feel better. Just a lingering illness." He
shuffled his feet, looking at Severus, hoping that he would keep quiet about
just what his lingering illness was. The Slytherins were becoming antsy.
"Get out of here freak!"
"No Gryffindors allowed!"
"Nerd!"
"I wanted to know, if I mean, umm, if you didn't
already." He was losing his nerve. "If you wanted to go to the Ball
with me?" He wasn't making much sense, but I understood him well enough.
It took a great deal of courage to do what he did. Especially walking over to
our table.
What came over Severus, I'll never know. "Get out of
here, Lupin. You're too late. I asked her this morning."
"But Severus, you didn't-"
"It wasn't romantic enough for you?" He kissed my
hand. "Is that better?"
"Remus, I--" It was too late. He was already
walking away with his head hung low. I ran after him, and quickly cornered him
in front of the Library. "Remus, please listen to me. You no
understand."
"I taught you to speak better than that,
Milah." He said icily.
"Severus didn't ask me to go. I don't have a date
yet." I said very slowly, choosing
my words carefully because I didn't want to upset him anymore.
"James said that you didn't. I was hoping that Severus
was lying. Do you still want to go with me?"
"Maybe, if you're nice to me." I said as I watched
him beam. "It's nice to see you smile. You always look so tired."
"Of course I'll be nice to you. You're just mad because
of that drill I gave you last week." He
ran his fingers through his sandy hair.
"I know, it was hard. You are nearly fluent now. You should be proud!
You won't need me soon." He looked at his feet.
"I've grown accustomed to your presence. I'll always need
you, Remus. You're my friend. No matter how horrid my insides feel, you're nice
to me. That's rare." I smiled and I left, feeling quite proud of myself at
the moment.
*****(present day)*****
I decided
to pay a visit to Severus' dungeons that evening to get the scoop on what was
happening with this "miracle potion" that Remus made reference to.
"Well Milah, it's a multi step potion series. Step one is the most
decisive. It's the basic wolfsbane with a twist. He will keep his mind, but
will only transform partially. Each month he will transform less and less until
gradually he won't transform at all. Best case scenario, he'll only sprout some
extra fur."
"Why did you make the 'eat' comment. It hurt him." I gave Severus a perfectly disdainful glare.
"Honestly, Lupin can't take a joke?"
"I'm sure that you didn't phrase it like one, Severus."
"He'll be perfectly safe, I assure you, but if you'd like me to sit with
you, I will."
"No, I think that I can handle him myself. I've dealt with him before."
"How's your arm, Milah?" Neither noticed Remus stand near the door.
"It's feeling much better, thanks. I'm glad you asked him to leave. He
still doesn't know, and I don't want him to know."
"Doesn't know about what, Milah?
That it was I who fathered your child, or that you're an ex-Death Eater?
If you truly loved him, you would tell him."
My eyes darkened. I didn't want to remember the child that I had lost.
"That was so many years ago, Severus. I am not about to reopen old wounds.
Remus is all that I've got, aside from you, and I'm not ready for love.
Something bad always happens to me when I let myself fall."
Severus put his wand on the desk, sighed, and said, "Whether or not you
are ready for it, love is upon you. I know that I still care for you-- probably
more than is healthy. Lupin obviously
still loves you. And by you coming to me today to ask about this task tonight,
it shows me how you feel for him."
Remus was stunned. "It's all a dream. Just a bad dream." He backed
against the stone wall and collapsed.
"What was that?" Severus and I ran to the door. "My G-d, do you
think that he heard?"
"I don't know Milah, I just don't know."
*~*~*~*~*~(F/B) *~*~*~*~*~
I had
been in St. Mungo's for two weeks. A blinding pain shot into my arm, and I
cried out. There were voices in the room other than my own. "Out
Lupin. You can't stay. Only I can help her."
"I'm her fiancé G-d dammit. I'm not about to let you dress her burns.
Milah, I'm so glad that you're awake. It's me, Remus. I know that you hurt
right now, but in a few weeks we'll be able to bring you home."
"I've already arranged a place for her to stay Lupin. She needs the utmost
care now."
"And I'm sure that a slimy git like you can provide it to her." he
was angry.
"Remus..." His anger melted away as he looked at me. It took all of my strength to call his name.
"What baby?" He asked as he
took my hand.
"Please, you have to let Severus help me. He can fix what's wrong."
Hate welled in his eyes.
"Are you sure?"
"For me, Remus. You can visit when you want. I need his skill with potions
to, hopefully, heal this with minimal scarring. We have a wedding to think
about, and I have a strapless dress."
"Why didn't you tell me about the baby, Milah?"
"Baby!" Severus cried. "What baby?"
I started to cry. "I lost my baby-- our baby." Remus held my hand. It
was the most horrible night of my life. At least I'd be out by tomorrow.
"It's alright Milah, it doesn't matter. There can be more." His voice
trailed and shook. How could I tell him that it wasn't his? I wouldn't. And
he'd never find out about me becoming a Death Eater either.
"Do you know how lucky you are, Milah?" Severus questioned as he
bandaged my arm, "If the staff had been able to make out the design on
your arm..." He looked away. "It was so mangled that they couldn't
make out the design. Thought it was a muggle tattoo. All for the best, I
suppose." He continued to bandage me. There was a knock on my door, and
Remus stepped in.
"How are you feeling?" He sat in between Severus and myself. "I
hope better. Rupert and the others have asked about you. I told them that you
may be leaving the Ministry."
"What!" I certainly didn't need this.
"We're getting married in a month, Milah. I don't want this to happen
again."
I was infuriated. "What am I supposed to do, Remus? Just sit around? We
need at least one stable paycheck!"
His eyes clouded, and I knew that I really struck a nerve. "I can't help
what I am, Milah. Do you want out?" He began to wring his hands.
"Nobody wants a werewolf for a husband. Do you still want me?"
My arm wasn't as heavily bandaged as it had been, and I could move a bit now. I
sat up out of bed and laced my arms around him, "Of course not, Remus. I
love you, and I never minded having a werewolf for a husband." Just
then, an owl flew threw my open window, dropped a letter in Remus' lap, and
flew off with several more tied to his leg.
Remus,
Lily and James Potter have been murdered by one Lord Voldemort. Harry is alive
and well, and is in my care.
~Albus Dumbledore
I didn't read the note, but then again, I didn't have to. I knew about the plan
to kill them all along. I sent them several anonymous owls just yesterday,
warning them that this was coming. I did the best I could to help them. I'm
just glad that Harry was okay. Remus
collapsed in my arms and sobbed. "I'm so sorry, Remus. I am so very sorry.
At least Harry is okay..."
*** *
A/N: What do you think?
I'll never know if you don't review... Even if it's short because it's the only
way I know that people are reading. Check out a picture of Milah on the link at
my author page. Check out my Live Journal too!
The chapter before this one, this one, and the next one are my absolute
favourites. I like them because it really shows the anguish that Milah is going
through... Her battle between good and evil is raging, and it's driving her
mad... Imagine how she felt when Remus learned of the death of the Potters...
What if she was responsible??? Ooooooh! Big plot hint... *winks*
Later babes!
~Milah