Directed by V.C.
Typed by LENG
*Note - No one was really hurt or killed in the production, so PLEASE DON'T SUE US!
PART 2—It's about time!
Once upon an unknown time, there was an old lady named Ayako. One day, while Ayako was picking flowers, she came across an annoying fairy about the size of her thumb. Ayako decides to flick the fairy to death.
Fairy: don't kill me! I am a fairy named ThumbeHaruko. If you spare my life, I will be your daughter.
Ayako: A fairy for a daughter?
ThumbeHaruko: ok ok ok *sigh* //plucks out wings// ouch ouch now I'm a human girl
And so ThumbeHaruko lived with Ayako. One day, a frog named Sendoh came to the house and picked up ThumbeHaruko and carried her away.
Sendoh: Hahahahaha! I shall kidnap this girl and get a high ransom from her family, and then I can have all the flies I ever wanted!
Being as clumsy as he usually was, Sendoh dropped ThumbeHaruko into the pond outside.
Sendoh: Nooooooo… my flies!
Sendoh is so upset that he bangs his head against the wall and dies from a concussion. A bug named Aida flies along.
Aida: Yo check! What's that thing?
Aida swoops down and picks ThumbeHaruko up.
Aida: Execute me, what are you?
ThumbeHaruko: I'm a human girl! Put me down!
Aida: no wonder you so heavy… mama said that humans are nasty and like to squash bugs. She said that my papa died at the hands of a human. Does that mean that my papa died when he was sitting on a human's hand?
ThumbeHaruko: Put me down!!!
Aida: Maybe I shouldn't take you home… Mama might not let me keep you…
ThumbeHaruko: Put me down, you son of a bitch!!!
Aida: *sob* you hurt my feelings… I not son of a bitch… I son of a bug…
Aida drops ThumbeHaruko as he reaches for his silk handkerchief to wipe his tears. A leaf named Rukawa breaks ThumbeHaruko's fall.
Rukawa: Itai… do'aho.
ThumbeHaruko: O Rukawa-san… you saved my life… how can I ever repay you?
Rukawa cannot take the weight of ThumbeHaruko and snaps off, falls to the ground and dies.
LENG: Oh no, I see three girls dressed in pig pink in the horizon, coming over to us with an A-bomb…
LENG: //types furiously away, and the girls vanish// Now where were we?
ThumbeHaruko starts falling to her doom. In a stroke of good luck, a gust of wind sweeps up, and her dress acts like a parachute. All the passers-by on the land scream and blindfold one another.
LENG: Ahehehe…Hope this makes you perverts happy!
V.C.: //Whams LENG with clipboard again// Get on with the stupid story already! You're burning the retinas of every innocent child that may be reading this!
LENG: OW! Fine lah!
Finally, ThumbeHaruko falls into the hole of a mouse named Fujima.
The starving Fujima eyes her disappointedly.
ThumbeHaruko: Eh, what's your problem?
Fujima: You not food…
ThumbeHaruko: You got problem with that, 'Mickey'?
Fujima: How dare you insult me! I will not take this insolence lying down!
ThumbeHaruko: You're not lying down.
Fujima: Shut up! I shall take you to see an age-old acquaintance of mine… (Drumroll please) Maki the Mole!
ThumbeHaruko: Nooooooooooooooo…
ThumbeHaruko is out like a light. Fujima drags her to the other end of the tunnel and knocks on the door.
Fujima: Hi Maki
Maki: Hi
Maki catches sight of ThumbeHaruko.
Maki: Let me keep this beetle for my servant.
ThumbeHaruko: Don't want. Anywayz… I'm not a beetle.
Fujima: Eh, she's not mine actually.
Maki: I'll give you a year's supply of acorns?
Fujima: Deal! Take her!
ThumbeHaruko picks up a large walnut (don't ask me why the stupid mouse didn't eat that earlier) and bashes Maki and Fujima to a pile of slimy oatmeal. Then our pint-sized murderer runs away and finds a bird named Mitsui at the end of the tunnel.
ThumbeHaruko: TAXI!!!
Mitsui: I charge 5 berries…
ThumbeHaruko: I have a pile of tasty oatmeal at the end of this tunnel.
Mitsui: Close enough.
The two are flying in the air, when a familiar looking bug a.k.a. Aida flies up with an AK47.
Aida: Yo check! Mama says if I bring you home we can have you for supper, so I'm going to hijack this taxi and…
*Gulp*
Mitsui eats the bug before he can finish his sentence.
Mitsui: Stupid bug.
ThumbeHaruko: GROSS!!! I'm going to throw up!
Mitsui: No! I just had my feathers dry-cleaned!
ThumbeHaruko: //an awful green color// Just try and stop me!
Meanwhile, the fairy prince Sakuragi is dressing. An assassin, Kiyota, slips a portable explosive into his crown and runs back to his home, giggling.
Kiyota: Heheheheheheh! Now Rukawa is dead, Red-furred monkey is going to croak and I will be the no.1 rookie of Japan!
Kiyota receives a parcel at that moment with a red button sticking on it. Unknown to him, there is a message on the other side. It read:
THE EXPLOSIVE YOU ORDERED IS A BUY ONE GET ONE FREE. IF YOU DO NOT HAVE A DEATH WISH, PLEASE DO NOT PRESS THE RED BUTTON BEFORE OPENING.
Kiyota: Eh? What's this button for? *beep*
KABOOM
That was the end of the Golden Lion Tamarin look-alike.
Mitsui and ThumbeHaruko land outside the fairy kingdom. ThumbeHaruko climbs off and a very dirty Mitsui leaves in search of his oatmeal. Sakuragi comes out and meets ThumbeHaruko.
ThumbeHaruko: Sakuragi-san©…
Sakuragi: ThumbeHaruko-san©…
LENG: AHEM! Don't you ever read the script?
The two thumb through the script.
ThumbeHaruko: Ohhhhhhhhhh… Gomen, Director.
LENG: Just get on with the story, Damn it!
ThumbeHaruko runs away.
Sakuragi: Noooooooooo!!! Come back!!!
Sakuragi runs after his one true love. (Let us retch!)
Halfway, he gets caught by a toad named Akagi.
Akagi: I seem to be in luck today… I've caught a tasty oversized mosquito!
Sakuragi: Untongue me, you wart-infested Gori Toad! I am not a mosquito!!! I am Tensai Sakuragi, the fairy crown prince! Put me down!
Akagi: Fairy Crown Prince? That's even better! You're a health tonic!
That was the end of Sakuragi.
Akagi: Now to end the story… the toad lived happily ever after. The end.
V.C.: not so fast…
The explosive in Sakuragi's crown chooses that moment to explode. Akagi perished together with his meal.
And Ayako died of old age, ThumbeHaruko got eaten by a goldfish, Mitsui died from having too much iodine and starch in his system (Arigato to oatmeal), and the authors of the story lived happily ever after…
V.C.: sniff! I always cry at happy endings!
The whole SD crew glares down at our two evil storywriters.
LENG: Push off.
No response.
LENG: //types again// Fine! Now you'll really pay!
Within the next two and a half seconds, the whole SD crew is being hung upside down from the ceiling with Barney the Purple Dinosaur clones dancing around them and singing their sickening songs about love.
LENG: Now THAT is what I call a happy ending!
KAPOW!
Our illustrious tomboy with the typewriter is bombarded with another huge rock, with the note "We are NOT amused! The official Inoue Takehiko Fan Club."
V.C.: =u=;
LENG: ^_^;
~OWARI~