(A/N): I must say that I'm having trouble coming up with witty
disclaimers. Sheer laziness, I suppose. I own only the plot and Milah.
Everything that you recognize belongs to Rowling the Great.
To: Hinote
I absolutely loved your summary... Perhaps I'll use it!
I'm rather partial to the Sexy Slytherin myself, but I can't quite tell you where I've got things going because, quite frankly, I don't know! I haven't chosen between my two guys yet! What I'm trying to say is don't count my sweet werewolf out yet!!! *grins* We'll just have to wait it out and see, now won't we...
That just means that I can put some angst in there... Who will she choose? *scratches head* Oy! decisions decisions! Will he still want her? Hmmm.... *giggles* You guys really should see me write this stuff... I swear, it's hysterical...
Pretty interesting chapter that I've got lined up here... *evil grin* Oh yeah... Well, I won't keep you, but I would like if you reviewed... Review or I'll hex you! *murderous glare* Severus taught me that. *face glows*
ArrivaderLa!
~Milah
* ** *
"It's early still, you should still be asleep." Severus gently spoke.
"I was trying to sleep, but I heard some ugly git banging around my chambers." I was aggravated with him, but amused at the same time. He spent the night sitting in the world's most uncomfortable armchair, just for me... "I forgive you..."
"Lupin will be here momentarily, but as to today's events, I doubt that he will be much company." He sneered.
"Why must you always bring him up, Sevi?" It was a perfectly valid question. The conversation could never just be us. Remus was always brought into it as well.
"It's obvious what has happened." His voice fell. "I see that the two of you have gotten back together. I'm not blind, Milah." He stood to leave. "Who am I to stand in the way?"
"Severus!" I sat up as best I could.
"You shouldn't try to move much."
"Please, don't do this to yourself. There's information that even you don't know."
He made a terrible face. "What? More secrets?" He threw his arms in the air, in resignation, most likely. "I can't take many more secrets!"
"How about just one..." The prospect of telling him my feelings were a little unnerving, but I knew that I had to...
"This had better be good, Milah. Don't waste my time." He gave me a very disdainful glare.
"What if I told you that I might be-" I didn't know what to say "slightly dateless for the Halloween Ball..." Good cover! I secretly patted myself on the back for that one.
"What are you getting at?" He looked most displeased.
"If you wanted to escort me, I wouldn't say no..."
His black eyes bulged out of his head. I surprised him, obviously... "Why would I want to go with you?" He wore a bitter glare. "Lupin didn't want you?"
That stung. "Fine! Be that way. Get out of here, now..." I took my wand from the nightstand. "Get away from me!" Panic spread through me as he continued to draw closer. He unarmed me, tossing my wand on the floor like a toy. "What are you doing?" I whimpered.
"Something that should have been done immediately upon your arrival." He cupped his hands on my face and kissed me fiercely. "I didn't mean what I said." His hands roved over me. I missed him. He was as ferocious as Remus was sweet. I didn't resist him; I had genuine feelings for him, after all. Just then, a knock sounded on the door. "I'm satisfied to think that you chose me over the werewolf. See that you're presentable for the Ball. I'll not go with a slob." He kissed me again. I was absolutely delirious.
"You stayed here all night?" Remus looked terrible. A house elf was carrying two breakfast trays, one considerably larger than the other one. He was upset by Severus' presence. "You shouldn't have."
"She's your problem now, Lupin." His cape made a rushing sound as he stalked out the door.
"That's an evil man, Milah. I don't know what you ever saw in him..." He smiled a bit.
"You look awful." I grinned. I knew that I didn't look any better.
"It's nice to feel so loved..." He set my tray on my lap, and sat on the bed next to me.
"You always did eat like a pig right before and after..."
"So?"
"Just informing you. I remember laughing at the waitress when she tried to carry our order to the table." I grinned.
"What, in Paris?" He laughed too. "Oh, my head." He clutched at it.
"Are we wolf buddies tonight, Remus?"
He looked at me like I shot him. "What? You mean you'd sit with me again?" He gave me a hopeful glance.
"Of course. I wouldn't miss it!"
"My place or yours?"
"Well," I thought about it. "Considering that we did it in my quarters last month; we could use yours this time?" I slyly grinned
His face dropped a bit. "But, that means I wouldn't see you change." I hit him with a pillow.
"You're a sick man, Remus Lupin!" We both laughed.
"I am. That's my problem, but I don't think that you'd have me any other way." He had a pretty good humour about the whole wolf deal... I guess that he was "well adjusted".
After classes, I went down to the dungeons to talk to Severus a bit. He was absolutely disagreeable, and was yelling at a sixth year. He looked up just as my frame entered the doorway. "Can I help you professor?" He was snarling, but I knew it was an act.
"You don't scare me, you old tart." Imogene Mystique began to laugh uncontrollably at my statement.
"Nothing but trouble, Mystique. I could fail you." He directed his attention back to his student, completely ignoring my presence
"No you can't. You're just bitter that I know what I'm doing." She glared at him with just as much venom as he had towards her.
"Detention for the next month, Miss Mystique."
"Thank you sir. I love to serve detentions, especially with the chance to torture you..." She turned and stalked out the room.
"Can you believe this? Of all the houses to put her in?" Severus yelled. "She's positively awful! Fights about everything!"
I was laughing. Didn't know what else that I could do... "She held a detention for me just last month... I do think that she likes it." A broad smile was evident. "I think that her number one torture victim is Malfoy..." I related the countless fights between them. "Why there's such venom between them, I do not know." I grinned slyly, "What I do know, is that she's sweet on Weasley..."
It took him a moment to process the information. "Why would I care about such trivial matters as Hogwarts gossip?"
"Because it's good gossip that could go a long way making her respect you." I gave him a meaningful glare.
"I do believe that I like the way your mind works..." He made his way from behind his desk. "Have a glass of wine with me before you care for Lupin?"
"Certainly." We entered his private chambers together.
(F/B)*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"How did I get myself drawn into this?" Severus was snarling.
"Because, Sevi. It's Malfoy's Christmas party. We're both Death Eaters... It makes sense that he would invite us!" I was frustrated because I didn't want to go any more than he did.
"Why am I going with you? You're engaged!"
"Well, I can't exactly bring him, and besides, he isn't anywhere near here. He'll never find out!"
"But you're Jewish!"
"So? I can't just not go!"
"But why me?"
"Who else would I go with, moron..." I shot him a skeptical look. "Who?" I was looking around for any mysterious males wandering about my apartment.
"You're beautiful, Milah. I don't deserve you."
"I know. Stop reminding me!" He walked over to my vanity and took my brush. He proceeded to brush my hair.
"I would die for you Milah."
His bluntness startled me, but it was a touching phrase. "Really? You do know that as soon as Remus comes home, this ends..."
"I'm aware. I just don't want it to." He scooped me off of my bench, and placed me on the bed.
"Severus, I just spent all this time getting ready!" His sexy moves were causing me to giggle between words. "Oh! I don't care!"
"I didn't think that you would..." An evil grin spread across his face.
************************************************************
I sat myself on his sofa and watched him search through his collection for an appropriate bottle. "I understand that you're quite fond of Chianti..."
"You practically read my mind." I was grinning.
"Were you feeling well today? Any dizzy spells or cold sweats?"
I accepted my glass. "I assure you, I'm fine!" The wine was fabulous.
He seemed to read my thoughts, "I figured it would be to your liking." He watched me take a deep draught. "Now, let's continue our earlier conversation..." His eyes shimmered just a bit as he reclined in his seat.
"I don't quite remember any talking this morning." He refilled my glass.
"As I said earlier, I would not mind escorting you to the Halloween Ball."
"Oh, is that what I said?" I shot him an evil grin. "Maybe I can back out of that?"
"Nope."
"I don't think that I've ever heard you say that..." We both had a good laugh. "Company is good, Sevi, but I really should head to Remus' chambers because I don't need you getting me tipsy."
He grabbed my arm. "You are the mother of my child, and I'm still in love with you. I always have been." He stared at the open bottle of Chianti on the table.
"I know, and I'm dealing with the matter accordingly." I smiled at him. "Give me time, Severus..."
"You know that there's nothing that I would deny you. I could offer you a life that Lupin has only dreamed of. I'm an incredibly wealthy man."
"Any romantic thought that I had in mind has just been thrown out the window. What a terrible thing to say!" I slammed the half filled wine fluke on the table and began to storm out the room.
He charmed the door to shut. "Don't leave just yet." I turned to face him. I was furious.
"What the hell is your problem, Severus?"
"You. Always you." He had me pinned against the wall. "I love you, Milah."
"I know, and there's nothing that I can do about it. I'm just not sure yet." I looked away because I knew that he was going to try to kiss me. "I am taking a step in the right direction... Going with you to the Halloween Ball, I mean."
"I'm a firm believer in the one step forward, two steps backward routine, Milah. I wonder how far back you will regress." He looked at me purposely.
"I..."
"Don't forget this." He held out my black head covering.
"You know what Imogene asked me today?" I asked him through muffled giggles.
"I'm afraid..." He feigned terror.
"She asked, right in the middle of class, if you and I were related!" I touched his forearm gently. "When I asked her what would give her such an idea she said, 'Well, you're both Slytherins, you both only wear black, and you're the only person he tolerates.' It was funny..."
"I must admit, the evidence is compelling. I'm sorry to say that we aren't related by blood, or otherwise."
"Patience dear, patience... Now, I have to get upstairs before we have a wolfish crisis on our hands. I don't think that Remus would appreciate me skipping out on our evening together." I grinned. He put my cloak on me and he placed my hijab on my head.
"You really shouldn't cover your hair, you know."
"I'll keep that in mind." Before I could stop him, he kissed me full. "Wow..." My eyes rolled into the back of my head. "So, that's what I've been missing out on all these years. But one must wonder... How you got all that practice." I eyed him suspiciously.
"You taught me all that I needed to know about love. I never forget anything important." He slyly smiled. "Go tend to your beast..."
****
"Remus?" I called as I stood in his living room. "Remus, where are you?" I stepped into his mini sitting room. "Are you in here? Oh my G-d!"
"I'm alright..." He was lying on the floor almost unconscious. "I thought you might have forgotten."
"About our date? Are you kidding?" I bent down to help him off the ground. "This is a particularly vicious month for you, isn't it? I'm sorry for you, you know." I heaved him off the ground.
"Watch my head... You don't have to be sorry for me." He looked so pale; like a dead man. His spirit was nearly broken.
"I know, but I am. You're such a loving man, and you've lived such a horrible life."
"Only the past sixteen years were horrible... I was a happy man when you were here, and you're making me happy again."
My heart sank. I wanted to pursue a relationship with Severus... How to tell him... I won't, that's how. I'll try life with Severus, and if things don't work out, I'll go back. He'll always be around... "I'm glad that I could do that for you again, but Remus, you have to understand that I need time." I guided him to his bed. "Are you sleeping in this?"
"No."
Damn. "Do you need help?"
"I can make it."
"Then I'll be back in a minute, Remus." I pulled his pajamas out of his bureau, and handed them to him. I pulled off his cloak and went to hang it, leaving him to get dressed on his own. He called to me. "What Remus?" I asked.
"Help! I can't do this..." I walked in and saw him struggling to button his shirt.
"Here, let me help." I crossed the room. Familiar feelings arose from the depths of my soul as I buttoned his top. I looked at him as I worked, and noticed that my motions bewitched him as well.
"I wish that you had never disappeared." He looked so torn. "I would probably be a dad by now... I love children."
All this talk of children was depressing me... "I'm so sorry. You're young still..."
"I'm forty-two, Milah..."
"I know quite well, how old you are." I was helping him get settled in his bed, not that he'd remain in that position after his transformation. Searching desperately for a way to change the subject I said, "So what will we do tonight? I could finish my Shakespeare novel." I pulled "Much Ado about Nothing" out of my bag.
"I'd like that, but I'd like it more if you sang to me." He caught me off guard.
"What?"
"I want you to sing to me, Milah. Pull out your instruments and sing to me."
"Sing what, Remus?"
"You used to play this weird stringed instrument... It was for one of your foreign songs..."
"My guitar?"
"No. I said it was weird. It sounded like that though..."
"Oh! But Remus, I haven't played the Sitar since I was in school!"
"I'm easy to please. Pull out your guitar then."
"How long before you transform?"
"I'd say I have about a half hour..." He looked out of his large bay window at the slowly sinking sun. "Sing your Electric Blue song. I always liked that one..."
"How about one that I wrote recently. I think that you'll find it particularly interesting considering your current situation..."
"Ok. I'm not picky." He lay back and waited for me to begin. I conjured my guitar out of the air, and began to play.
"All day staring at the ceiling Making friends with shadows on my wall. All night hearing voices telling me That I should get some sleep Because tomorrow might be good for something..."
"Hold on... Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown And I don't know why." I noticed that he was watching me. I picked my head up to fully look at him and I smiled as I began to sing the Chorus of the song.
"But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell... I know right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me."
"I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know right now you don't care... But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be... me."
"I'm talking to myself in public, Dodging glances on the train. And I know, I know they've all been talking about me I can hear them whisper And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me... Out of all the hours thinking, Somehow I've lost my mind..."
My mouth opened wide as I sang the next few lines. I was in another dimension. "I've been talking in my sleep... Pretty soon they'll come to get me Yeah, they're taking me away
"But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell. I know right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me. I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know right now you don't care. But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be.
"Yeah, how I used to be... How I used to be... Well, I'm just a little unwell..."
"Your songs are always sad. Even today..." He looked up at me. "Why so sad?"
"I've had a rough life, Remus. I don't have the drive to sing many happy songs."
"What made you choose this particular song for me?"
"I thought that it was relevant. That's all."
"It was. Thank you, Milah... Have you ever seen yourself play?"
"I can't say that I have, Remus. Why?"
"Your entire demeanor changes. It's like you aren't even the same person. First, your facial features relax, with your body close behind. Then you seem to inwardly glow. You're radiant. Such a beautiful woman..." He smiled at me. "Are you ready? It's nearly time. I can feel it coming..." He grew silent and unmoving. His transformation had begun.
"Severus' potion seems to work because you are only partially transformed..." I took in his overall appearance. "You have all of your wolf parts, but you have much less fur. You're quite funny to look at, but I won't poke fun at you. I still think that you're quite a stunning wolf, and if you choose not to continue with the potion, I'll still like you." He simply lay there not moving. "How about we read?" I looked up at him. "I'd prefer to lay in the bed, so if you wouldn't mind sharing..." He stood up and moved so I could have space. "There's a good Remus..." I stroked him gently and felt him shiver at my touch. "I'm so lucky to have you, Remmie..." We read for hours. I fell asleep mid-page, and I'm sure that he thought it was hysterical.
(F/B)*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"I've never been adept at discussing my feelings," He said as we ate in a French restaurant. "but I wanted to tell you that I would love to spend the rest of my life with you. Getting to know you in every way would be an ultimate triumph for a man like me." He took my hand, and I was totally speechless. "I know your precarious situation with Lupin, and if you're willing to leave him; I would marry you today."
"I'm sorry, what?" I choked on the food I was swallowing. He caught me completely off guard.
"Marry me, Milah..." His dark eyes were trained on me. "We are similar creatures. You don't have to turn the lights down for me. I know who, what, you are. Hiding from your husband isn't the way to live, and you wouldn't have need to hide from me."
"But Severus... I simply can't. Don't you understand that Remus and I have begun to build a life together?"
"But I could offer you so much more freedom. With me you could be free to live without fear. I can protect you for any number of things..."
"Yes but," I cut in "all this talk of freedom and protection. You haven't said anything about love. Where I come from, marriage is about love, Severus."
He took my hand. "I shouldn't have to repeat what you already know. You know that I love you. These past few months have been the happiest in my life. I never thought that you could love something like me." He released my hand and placed it in his lap. "For a woman like you to freely love me is like a dream come true. I'll spend my entire life showing you how much I love you, if you'd only give me the opportunity..." His voice trailed.
"I must tell you, Severus, that the thought of making love with the lights on would be a nice change..." He allowed himself a grim smile. "And the thought that I have no secrets to hide is wonderful..." I cast my eyes at my only half finished plate. "But I can not, and will not leave Remus. I can't further betray someone that I love so much."
"And being with me wasn't betrayal?"
"It is, and what would you like me to do?" I raised my voice more than I intended.
"Stop playing games with me. I'm not heartless, despite what the world thinks. I have feelings too, Milah." He threw money on the table and strode out the door.
*******************************************************************
* ** *
(A/N) Hee hee... For all you Snape Fans, like me, I had to throw in a little Snape action. There will be plenty more in the future... *evil sexy grin* So, who agrees with my not-so-vocalized decision to date Snape for a while? *cheers* I won't tell Remus, of course... Don't send me hate mail, I promise that they're both happy in the end. *grin* I have big plans for both!
What did you think? Keep in touch! The cauldron is heating up, and I'm about to boil some butt! Be prepared!!! Check out a picture of Milah at the link on my author page. Check out my Live Journal as well!
Crediting:
The song "Electric Blue" belongs to the Cranberries.
The lyrics to the song that I'm singing to Remus belong to Matchbox 20. It's called "Unwell"
A picture of my sitar was posted on my LJ just last night, so you can check it out if you like. All of the links are on my author page. A Sitar is basically a stringed instrument that is typically found in Indian music (from India, not Native Americans). I happen to love it... Sounds really cool!
My guitar is a BC Rich Warlock... Pretty cool stuff, huh. Don't have a picture of it up yet, but if you really want to see it, I can post one. Just haven't gotten around to it!
Your Slytherin Queen, ~Milah
To: Hinote
I absolutely loved your summary... Perhaps I'll use it!
I'm rather partial to the Sexy Slytherin myself, but I can't quite tell you where I've got things going because, quite frankly, I don't know! I haven't chosen between my two guys yet! What I'm trying to say is don't count my sweet werewolf out yet!!! *grins* We'll just have to wait it out and see, now won't we...
That just means that I can put some angst in there... Who will she choose? *scratches head* Oy! decisions decisions! Will he still want her? Hmmm.... *giggles* You guys really should see me write this stuff... I swear, it's hysterical...
Pretty interesting chapter that I've got lined up here... *evil grin* Oh yeah... Well, I won't keep you, but I would like if you reviewed... Review or I'll hex you! *murderous glare* Severus taught me that. *face glows*
ArrivaderLa!
~Milah
* ** *
"It's early still, you should still be asleep." Severus gently spoke.
"I was trying to sleep, but I heard some ugly git banging around my chambers." I was aggravated with him, but amused at the same time. He spent the night sitting in the world's most uncomfortable armchair, just for me... "I forgive you..."
"Lupin will be here momentarily, but as to today's events, I doubt that he will be much company." He sneered.
"Why must you always bring him up, Sevi?" It was a perfectly valid question. The conversation could never just be us. Remus was always brought into it as well.
"It's obvious what has happened." His voice fell. "I see that the two of you have gotten back together. I'm not blind, Milah." He stood to leave. "Who am I to stand in the way?"
"Severus!" I sat up as best I could.
"You shouldn't try to move much."
"Please, don't do this to yourself. There's information that even you don't know."
He made a terrible face. "What? More secrets?" He threw his arms in the air, in resignation, most likely. "I can't take many more secrets!"
"How about just one..." The prospect of telling him my feelings were a little unnerving, but I knew that I had to...
"This had better be good, Milah. Don't waste my time." He gave me a very disdainful glare.
"What if I told you that I might be-" I didn't know what to say "slightly dateless for the Halloween Ball..." Good cover! I secretly patted myself on the back for that one.
"What are you getting at?" He looked most displeased.
"If you wanted to escort me, I wouldn't say no..."
His black eyes bulged out of his head. I surprised him, obviously... "Why would I want to go with you?" He wore a bitter glare. "Lupin didn't want you?"
That stung. "Fine! Be that way. Get out of here, now..." I took my wand from the nightstand. "Get away from me!" Panic spread through me as he continued to draw closer. He unarmed me, tossing my wand on the floor like a toy. "What are you doing?" I whimpered.
"Something that should have been done immediately upon your arrival." He cupped his hands on my face and kissed me fiercely. "I didn't mean what I said." His hands roved over me. I missed him. He was as ferocious as Remus was sweet. I didn't resist him; I had genuine feelings for him, after all. Just then, a knock sounded on the door. "I'm satisfied to think that you chose me over the werewolf. See that you're presentable for the Ball. I'll not go with a slob." He kissed me again. I was absolutely delirious.
"You stayed here all night?" Remus looked terrible. A house elf was carrying two breakfast trays, one considerably larger than the other one. He was upset by Severus' presence. "You shouldn't have."
"She's your problem now, Lupin." His cape made a rushing sound as he stalked out the door.
"That's an evil man, Milah. I don't know what you ever saw in him..." He smiled a bit.
"You look awful." I grinned. I knew that I didn't look any better.
"It's nice to feel so loved..." He set my tray on my lap, and sat on the bed next to me.
"You always did eat like a pig right before and after..."
"So?"
"Just informing you. I remember laughing at the waitress when she tried to carry our order to the table." I grinned.
"What, in Paris?" He laughed too. "Oh, my head." He clutched at it.
"Are we wolf buddies tonight, Remus?"
He looked at me like I shot him. "What? You mean you'd sit with me again?" He gave me a hopeful glance.
"Of course. I wouldn't miss it!"
"My place or yours?"
"Well," I thought about it. "Considering that we did it in my quarters last month; we could use yours this time?" I slyly grinned
His face dropped a bit. "But, that means I wouldn't see you change." I hit him with a pillow.
"You're a sick man, Remus Lupin!" We both laughed.
"I am. That's my problem, but I don't think that you'd have me any other way." He had a pretty good humour about the whole wolf deal... I guess that he was "well adjusted".
After classes, I went down to the dungeons to talk to Severus a bit. He was absolutely disagreeable, and was yelling at a sixth year. He looked up just as my frame entered the doorway. "Can I help you professor?" He was snarling, but I knew it was an act.
"You don't scare me, you old tart." Imogene Mystique began to laugh uncontrollably at my statement.
"Nothing but trouble, Mystique. I could fail you." He directed his attention back to his student, completely ignoring my presence
"No you can't. You're just bitter that I know what I'm doing." She glared at him with just as much venom as he had towards her.
"Detention for the next month, Miss Mystique."
"Thank you sir. I love to serve detentions, especially with the chance to torture you..." She turned and stalked out the room.
"Can you believe this? Of all the houses to put her in?" Severus yelled. "She's positively awful! Fights about everything!"
I was laughing. Didn't know what else that I could do... "She held a detention for me just last month... I do think that she likes it." A broad smile was evident. "I think that her number one torture victim is Malfoy..." I related the countless fights between them. "Why there's such venom between them, I do not know." I grinned slyly, "What I do know, is that she's sweet on Weasley..."
It took him a moment to process the information. "Why would I care about such trivial matters as Hogwarts gossip?"
"Because it's good gossip that could go a long way making her respect you." I gave him a meaningful glare.
"I do believe that I like the way your mind works..." He made his way from behind his desk. "Have a glass of wine with me before you care for Lupin?"
"Certainly." We entered his private chambers together.
(F/B)*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"How did I get myself drawn into this?" Severus was snarling.
"Because, Sevi. It's Malfoy's Christmas party. We're both Death Eaters... It makes sense that he would invite us!" I was frustrated because I didn't want to go any more than he did.
"Why am I going with you? You're engaged!"
"Well, I can't exactly bring him, and besides, he isn't anywhere near here. He'll never find out!"
"But you're Jewish!"
"So? I can't just not go!"
"But why me?"
"Who else would I go with, moron..." I shot him a skeptical look. "Who?" I was looking around for any mysterious males wandering about my apartment.
"You're beautiful, Milah. I don't deserve you."
"I know. Stop reminding me!" He walked over to my vanity and took my brush. He proceeded to brush my hair.
"I would die for you Milah."
His bluntness startled me, but it was a touching phrase. "Really? You do know that as soon as Remus comes home, this ends..."
"I'm aware. I just don't want it to." He scooped me off of my bench, and placed me on the bed.
"Severus, I just spent all this time getting ready!" His sexy moves were causing me to giggle between words. "Oh! I don't care!"
"I didn't think that you would..." An evil grin spread across his face.
************************************************************
I sat myself on his sofa and watched him search through his collection for an appropriate bottle. "I understand that you're quite fond of Chianti..."
"You practically read my mind." I was grinning.
"Were you feeling well today? Any dizzy spells or cold sweats?"
I accepted my glass. "I assure you, I'm fine!" The wine was fabulous.
He seemed to read my thoughts, "I figured it would be to your liking." He watched me take a deep draught. "Now, let's continue our earlier conversation..." His eyes shimmered just a bit as he reclined in his seat.
"I don't quite remember any talking this morning." He refilled my glass.
"As I said earlier, I would not mind escorting you to the Halloween Ball."
"Oh, is that what I said?" I shot him an evil grin. "Maybe I can back out of that?"
"Nope."
"I don't think that I've ever heard you say that..." We both had a good laugh. "Company is good, Sevi, but I really should head to Remus' chambers because I don't need you getting me tipsy."
He grabbed my arm. "You are the mother of my child, and I'm still in love with you. I always have been." He stared at the open bottle of Chianti on the table.
"I know, and I'm dealing with the matter accordingly." I smiled at him. "Give me time, Severus..."
"You know that there's nothing that I would deny you. I could offer you a life that Lupin has only dreamed of. I'm an incredibly wealthy man."
"Any romantic thought that I had in mind has just been thrown out the window. What a terrible thing to say!" I slammed the half filled wine fluke on the table and began to storm out the room.
He charmed the door to shut. "Don't leave just yet." I turned to face him. I was furious.
"What the hell is your problem, Severus?"
"You. Always you." He had me pinned against the wall. "I love you, Milah."
"I know, and there's nothing that I can do about it. I'm just not sure yet." I looked away because I knew that he was going to try to kiss me. "I am taking a step in the right direction... Going with you to the Halloween Ball, I mean."
"I'm a firm believer in the one step forward, two steps backward routine, Milah. I wonder how far back you will regress." He looked at me purposely.
"I..."
"Don't forget this." He held out my black head covering.
"You know what Imogene asked me today?" I asked him through muffled giggles.
"I'm afraid..." He feigned terror.
"She asked, right in the middle of class, if you and I were related!" I touched his forearm gently. "When I asked her what would give her such an idea she said, 'Well, you're both Slytherins, you both only wear black, and you're the only person he tolerates.' It was funny..."
"I must admit, the evidence is compelling. I'm sorry to say that we aren't related by blood, or otherwise."
"Patience dear, patience... Now, I have to get upstairs before we have a wolfish crisis on our hands. I don't think that Remus would appreciate me skipping out on our evening together." I grinned. He put my cloak on me and he placed my hijab on my head.
"You really shouldn't cover your hair, you know."
"I'll keep that in mind." Before I could stop him, he kissed me full. "Wow..." My eyes rolled into the back of my head. "So, that's what I've been missing out on all these years. But one must wonder... How you got all that practice." I eyed him suspiciously.
"You taught me all that I needed to know about love. I never forget anything important." He slyly smiled. "Go tend to your beast..."
****
"Remus?" I called as I stood in his living room. "Remus, where are you?" I stepped into his mini sitting room. "Are you in here? Oh my G-d!"
"I'm alright..." He was lying on the floor almost unconscious. "I thought you might have forgotten."
"About our date? Are you kidding?" I bent down to help him off the ground. "This is a particularly vicious month for you, isn't it? I'm sorry for you, you know." I heaved him off the ground.
"Watch my head... You don't have to be sorry for me." He looked so pale; like a dead man. His spirit was nearly broken.
"I know, but I am. You're such a loving man, and you've lived such a horrible life."
"Only the past sixteen years were horrible... I was a happy man when you were here, and you're making me happy again."
My heart sank. I wanted to pursue a relationship with Severus... How to tell him... I won't, that's how. I'll try life with Severus, and if things don't work out, I'll go back. He'll always be around... "I'm glad that I could do that for you again, but Remus, you have to understand that I need time." I guided him to his bed. "Are you sleeping in this?"
"No."
Damn. "Do you need help?"
"I can make it."
"Then I'll be back in a minute, Remus." I pulled his pajamas out of his bureau, and handed them to him. I pulled off his cloak and went to hang it, leaving him to get dressed on his own. He called to me. "What Remus?" I asked.
"Help! I can't do this..." I walked in and saw him struggling to button his shirt.
"Here, let me help." I crossed the room. Familiar feelings arose from the depths of my soul as I buttoned his top. I looked at him as I worked, and noticed that my motions bewitched him as well.
"I wish that you had never disappeared." He looked so torn. "I would probably be a dad by now... I love children."
All this talk of children was depressing me... "I'm so sorry. You're young still..."
"I'm forty-two, Milah..."
"I know quite well, how old you are." I was helping him get settled in his bed, not that he'd remain in that position after his transformation. Searching desperately for a way to change the subject I said, "So what will we do tonight? I could finish my Shakespeare novel." I pulled "Much Ado about Nothing" out of my bag.
"I'd like that, but I'd like it more if you sang to me." He caught me off guard.
"What?"
"I want you to sing to me, Milah. Pull out your instruments and sing to me."
"Sing what, Remus?"
"You used to play this weird stringed instrument... It was for one of your foreign songs..."
"My guitar?"
"No. I said it was weird. It sounded like that though..."
"Oh! But Remus, I haven't played the Sitar since I was in school!"
"I'm easy to please. Pull out your guitar then."
"How long before you transform?"
"I'd say I have about a half hour..." He looked out of his large bay window at the slowly sinking sun. "Sing your Electric Blue song. I always liked that one..."
"How about one that I wrote recently. I think that you'll find it particularly interesting considering your current situation..."
"Ok. I'm not picky." He lay back and waited for me to begin. I conjured my guitar out of the air, and began to play.
"All day staring at the ceiling Making friends with shadows on my wall. All night hearing voices telling me That I should get some sleep Because tomorrow might be good for something..."
"Hold on... Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown And I don't know why." I noticed that he was watching me. I picked my head up to fully look at him and I smiled as I began to sing the Chorus of the song.
"But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell... I know right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me."
"I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know right now you don't care... But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be... me."
"I'm talking to myself in public, Dodging glances on the train. And I know, I know they've all been talking about me I can hear them whisper And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me... Out of all the hours thinking, Somehow I've lost my mind..."
My mouth opened wide as I sang the next few lines. I was in another dimension. "I've been talking in my sleep... Pretty soon they'll come to get me Yeah, they're taking me away
"But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell. I know right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me. I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know right now you don't care. But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be.
"Yeah, how I used to be... How I used to be... Well, I'm just a little unwell..."
"Your songs are always sad. Even today..." He looked up at me. "Why so sad?"
"I've had a rough life, Remus. I don't have the drive to sing many happy songs."
"What made you choose this particular song for me?"
"I thought that it was relevant. That's all."
"It was. Thank you, Milah... Have you ever seen yourself play?"
"I can't say that I have, Remus. Why?"
"Your entire demeanor changes. It's like you aren't even the same person. First, your facial features relax, with your body close behind. Then you seem to inwardly glow. You're radiant. Such a beautiful woman..." He smiled at me. "Are you ready? It's nearly time. I can feel it coming..." He grew silent and unmoving. His transformation had begun.
"Severus' potion seems to work because you are only partially transformed..." I took in his overall appearance. "You have all of your wolf parts, but you have much less fur. You're quite funny to look at, but I won't poke fun at you. I still think that you're quite a stunning wolf, and if you choose not to continue with the potion, I'll still like you." He simply lay there not moving. "How about we read?" I looked up at him. "I'd prefer to lay in the bed, so if you wouldn't mind sharing..." He stood up and moved so I could have space. "There's a good Remus..." I stroked him gently and felt him shiver at my touch. "I'm so lucky to have you, Remmie..." We read for hours. I fell asleep mid-page, and I'm sure that he thought it was hysterical.
(F/B)*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"I've never been adept at discussing my feelings," He said as we ate in a French restaurant. "but I wanted to tell you that I would love to spend the rest of my life with you. Getting to know you in every way would be an ultimate triumph for a man like me." He took my hand, and I was totally speechless. "I know your precarious situation with Lupin, and if you're willing to leave him; I would marry you today."
"I'm sorry, what?" I choked on the food I was swallowing. He caught me completely off guard.
"Marry me, Milah..." His dark eyes were trained on me. "We are similar creatures. You don't have to turn the lights down for me. I know who, what, you are. Hiding from your husband isn't the way to live, and you wouldn't have need to hide from me."
"But Severus... I simply can't. Don't you understand that Remus and I have begun to build a life together?"
"But I could offer you so much more freedom. With me you could be free to live without fear. I can protect you for any number of things..."
"Yes but," I cut in "all this talk of freedom and protection. You haven't said anything about love. Where I come from, marriage is about love, Severus."
He took my hand. "I shouldn't have to repeat what you already know. You know that I love you. These past few months have been the happiest in my life. I never thought that you could love something like me." He released my hand and placed it in his lap. "For a woman like you to freely love me is like a dream come true. I'll spend my entire life showing you how much I love you, if you'd only give me the opportunity..." His voice trailed.
"I must tell you, Severus, that the thought of making love with the lights on would be a nice change..." He allowed himself a grim smile. "And the thought that I have no secrets to hide is wonderful..." I cast my eyes at my only half finished plate. "But I can not, and will not leave Remus. I can't further betray someone that I love so much."
"And being with me wasn't betrayal?"
"It is, and what would you like me to do?" I raised my voice more than I intended.
"Stop playing games with me. I'm not heartless, despite what the world thinks. I have feelings too, Milah." He threw money on the table and strode out the door.
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(A/N) Hee hee... For all you Snape Fans, like me, I had to throw in a little Snape action. There will be plenty more in the future... *evil sexy grin* So, who agrees with my not-so-vocalized decision to date Snape for a while? *cheers* I won't tell Remus, of course... Don't send me hate mail, I promise that they're both happy in the end. *grin* I have big plans for both!
What did you think? Keep in touch! The cauldron is heating up, and I'm about to boil some butt! Be prepared!!! Check out a picture of Milah at the link on my author page. Check out my Live Journal as well!
Crediting:
The song "Electric Blue" belongs to the Cranberries.
The lyrics to the song that I'm singing to Remus belong to Matchbox 20. It's called "Unwell"
A picture of my sitar was posted on my LJ just last night, so you can check it out if you like. All of the links are on my author page. A Sitar is basically a stringed instrument that is typically found in Indian music (from India, not Native Americans). I happen to love it... Sounds really cool!
My guitar is a BC Rich Warlock... Pretty cool stuff, huh. Don't have a picture of it up yet, but if you really want to see it, I can post one. Just haven't gotten around to it!
Your Slytherin Queen, ~Milah