Part 2: The show begins
Um, so Cinderella is being mistreated by her stepfamily. Anyway… everyone should know how the thing went.
Haruko: Waaaaaaahh…
Ru: Shut up and continue with the housework!
Ka: Yeah! These are your just deserts for having designs on our Rukawa-kun!
LENG: I hope they are not for real.
So one day, they receive an invitation to the ball where the prince will select a wife. They don't let Cinderella go.
Haruko: I wanna go to the ball!
Wa: Too bad! We're not letting you go because we are jealous that you are pretty! //whispers// is she pretty? I don't think so…
V.C.: At least she's prettier than you! Get on with the story!
Ok, so Ru, Ka and Wa set off and Haruko is left to drown in her sorrows.
Haruko: I shall go and drown myself in the well… it's not my fault that I'm so pretty…
Suddenly, a swirl of twinkly little lights appear. A 'woman' appears.
Haruko: I thought fairy godmothers aren't supposed to wear ballet tutus?
Fujima: I feel so humiliated.
M&M: HAHAHAHAHA!
Kiyota: I thought dogs can't laugh?
M&M: I thought horses can't talk?
Kiyota: Dogs can't talk either!
Mitsui, Ryota and Kiyota argue until LENG threatens them with her typewriter.
Fujima: You shall go to the ball! //zaps up a dress, don't ask how he did that without special effects. I think Haruko stripped, and then put on a ball gown//
A chocolate bar, a certificate and a note drops onto V.C.'s head.
"A token of appreciation and a tribute to you! Keep up the good work! -From the Society of Hentai Fan fiction lovers"
A dagger suddenly shoots in like a boomerang and narrowly misses the group of 'horses'.
Sendoh: Thank goodness! My spikes are still intact!
A message is nailed to the wall by the dagger.
"Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it! - Anti-Hentai Gang"
V.C.: Ahehehehe… Hey, I don't like Fruit and nut.
Fukuda: Let me have it!
Fukada eats the chocolate bar. Unfortunately, it was laced with the top-secret recipe drug of that certain Society of Hentai Fan fiction lovers, which made the consumer write lots of hentai stuff.
Fukuda: You strip, me strip, he strip, she strip…
Everyone retches.
LENG: //*tap* *tap*// Damn it. The typewriter malfunctioned.
Everyone buries their face in their hands.
Maki, Koshino and Uozumi grab hold of the babbling Fukuda and lock him into the Green Room until the effects of the drug wear off, hopefully.
Akagi the pumpkin walks in, wrapped up in a bright orange cloth.
Akagi: Hmph.
LENG: ok. Akagi, when Fujima turns you into a carriage, there'll be a bunch of fake smoke. Run backstage and we'll push a carriage out. That's how we'll do it.
The fairy godmother turned a nearby pumpkin into a carriage.
Akagi 'disappears' successfully. However, the 'roll out the carriage' part didn't turn out as successfully as hoped. The carriage was rolled out with too much force (the backstage workers were hit over the head with an air pump after that) and crashed into the horses.
Jin: //swirly eyed// I had to be the one at the bottom of the pile.
And so, Cinderella goes to the ball. She *ahem* is noticed by all the people inside.
Ka: Who is that? How dare she steal the spotlight!
Sakuragi: May I have this dance?
Wa: Why yes!
Sakuragi: I wasn't talking to YOU! //says dreamily// I can't believe we're supposed to end up together…
LENG: We gave you the role of a prince cause you're spoilt and conceited like some.
Sakuragi: *grumble*
Then after some time, they fall in love, and the clock strikes 12.
Haruko: Oh no, I must go.
Sakuragi: NOOOOOOO
Haruko runs toward a door marked EXIT- Staircase.
Haruko: //stops short// Hey, the floor is cut off here! I could have fallen onto the ground floor!
Kazuko walks over, and a bunch of backstage workers shift the Repaired Cardboard Box Staircase over.
Kazuko: Am I supposed to run down in these glass high-heels?
LENG: It's part of the whole thing. When you get to the step marked with a red tape, take off one and continue running down.
Kazuko: I've made a call and found out that my insurance will cover my hospital bill. I'll do it. (Why can't I just be a go player?!)
Kazuko manages to keep her balance until she takes off one high-heel, and it is difficult to run with one foot flat on the ground and one in a high-heel. She falls down the Repaired Cardboard Box Staircase.
Kazuko: Ow! Ow! @#$%^&*! F****** SON OF A *****! OW! @#$%^&*!
LENG: Do we censor that?
V.C.: it's already been censored. Don't worry.
The Repaired Cardboard Box Staircase collapses once again.
Kiyota: I wasn't the one who did it this time.
Kazuko: Mmpth mmpth mmthp mmthp mmpth mmthp. (translation: shut up and call the paramedics.)
LENG: My typewriter seems to keep malfunctioning today…
Kazuko: Mmpth mmpth mmpth mmpth? (translation: Are you kidding me?)
V.C.: Thank goodness we don't need anymore stunts done.
Kazuko: Mmpth mmpth mmpth mmpth mmpth mmpth mmpth. (translation: I think I have eleven fractures altogether.)
LENG: It's working again! Don't worry! Typewriter-sama to the rescue!
LENG types furiously, and Kazuko is ok.
LENG: Now we all now why stunt doubles were not harmed during the production of this item. I can always type them better.
A clean-up team is called in to get rid of the Ruins of the Cardboard Box Staircase (Each time something happens to it, it gains a new name).
Haruko's gown disappears and in its place is the old dress she was wearing at first. Ok, the prince is sad, bla bla bla and sends everyone to find the owner by trying it on all the maiden's feet in the kingdom (poor slipper).
Sakuragi: //walking, and suddenly trips// My foot!
Kogure: I didn't say anything, so what was it you couldn't believe?
Sakuragi: I said, "My foot"!
Kogure: Yeah! That's right!
Sakuragi: *sigh* I mean, my foot hurts! I can't walk.
Kogure: Let me see… Oh! You've sprained it. You can't take part in the production anymore!
V.C.: Call for understudy, Rukawa!
Sakuragi: WHAT?!!
LENG: You mean Rukawa has to do the romantic scene with Haruko?
Ru, Ka and Wa are seen with steam coming out of their heads.
V.C.: Come to think of it, I think I didn't write the last part.
LENG: NANI?!!
V.C.: I sorta FORGOT to write it.
LENG: What's Rukawa going to do?
V.C.: I don't know. I think he's going to have to act it out himself.
LENG: So…
Ru, Ka & Wa: Try the slipper on ME! Try the slipper on ME!
Rukawa: Do'ahos… I doubt it will fit on any of you. Let's quit the production and go home.
LENG: //pointing menacingly at typewriter// You're supposed to try it on Haruko.
Rukawa: *mutter* ok. I'll try the stupid shoe on her.
Haruko: it fits!
Fujima comes out, and zaps Haruko's old dress into the ball gown.
Haruko: Marry me!
Rukawa: Do'aho…
Rukawa throws a basketball at Cinderella. It hit her in the chest and… (no, he didn't deliberately choose to hit that part, perverts!)
V.C.: .... and she died from a heart attack! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I LOVE SAD ENDINGS! (well, at least for this one)
Sakuragi tries to headbutt the two evil-storywriters for 'harming' his fair princess and is immediately typed into being glomped by several red monkeys (familiar, ne?)
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~OWARI~