SLAM DUNK VS BARNEY THE PURPLE DINOSAUR AND CO.
A '3-on-3'-basketball match
Team members:
SD-
Rukawa
Sendoh
Mitsui
Barney and Co.-
Barney
Baby Bop
TJ
Referee-
Anonymous
Spectators-
LENG
V.C.
Other SD characters
Barney's fan club
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Typewrite-sama saves the day!Time out proceeds. Barney is finally dragged away from Mitsui (1/2 dead from shock).
Mitsui: Thank Heavens he's gone! Somebody call my psychiatrist!
Sendoh is on the floor, still swirly-eyed and out like a light.
Uozumi: Something's not quite right. MEDICS!!!
LENG: Sorry, we didn't bother about any medics…
Uozumi: You didn't? Ok, then- AUTHORS!!!
V.C.: You, your lazy fingers AND your big mouth.
LENG and V.C. walk to the sidelines. LENG pokes Sendoh's still form.
LENG: Hey… Hey sleeping beauty… Is he all right?
V.C.: He looks somewhat like a dead fish. But I think he'll live.
LENG: Will he be able to play?
V.C.: If he is Physically AND Mentally well enough to continue.
Sendoh: twinkle…twinkle…little star…Sendoh's…in the sky…with basketballs…
LENG: Well, THAT answers my question. But who will be the replacement?
SD crew looks at each other, and all (except Sakuragi) point at LENG in unison.
LENG: NANI?! Why me?!
Sakuragi: Yeah! Why her?
V.C.: Because Sendoh's babbling like a pathetic dried fish, LENG looks boyish enough for the referee to see, and she's the only one with a portable typewriter! (Although she can't really play)
LENG: Don't insult me, sis! Anyways, what's my typewriter got to do with ANYTHING?!
V.C. whispers in LENG's ear, and LENG acquires an evil look on her face.
LENG: Ok, I'll do it!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
Second half officially begins…
Mitsui: Ok! Show the purple freakazoid who's boss!
LENG: yeah!
Mitsui: not you, the typewriter.
LENG: Oh yah…
V.C. joins the other SD cast on the spectator stands.
Fujima: I wish I could play…
V.C.: Too bad! No one elected you, you homo!
Fujima: I am NOT a homo! Besides, I'm older than you! Treat your elders with respect!
V.C.: Whatever! Old homo…
Fujima: WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!!
V.C.: *grumble* Old homo
Fujima: Stupid seedling!
V.C.: Oh yeah? Barbie just called! She wants her face back!
Fujima: Oh yeah? The Teletubbies just called! They want you to be the president of THEIR fan club!
V.C.: Oh yeah? The gay bar wants you to attend their opening ceremony next week!
Fujima: I'll set MY fan club on you!
V.C.: I'll tell the Rukawa Brigade you tried to kiss Rukawa. (If only they weren't STILL stuck under 1000 kg of basketball...) I'll whack you on the head with a high velocity fan set at full blast!
Fujima: NO! You wouldn't dare!
V.C.: //grabs the fan mentioned// try me!
^_^; AAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAA… Gomen…As we were before again…
LENG: Mitsui, you go for T.J. Rukawa, you go for Baby Bop.
Mitsui: Yeah well, what about that huge purple escapee from Woodbridge?
LENG: Him? //Takes out typewriter// Typewriter-sama will take care of that.
Typewriter-sama: Don't add to my pressure…I have a very weak heart.
LENG: NANI? You're a typewriter! Typewriters don't have hearts!
Typewriter-sama: Gomen…It's just that I always wanted to say that!
LENG: //sweat-drop + face-fault//
The players put their plan into action!
Meanwhile, Fujima and V.C. are still involved in their cute little children's fight...
V.C.: //brandishing fan// DIE!
Fujima: //defending with unfortunate cheerleader// DIE YOURSELF!
THAT, however, is somebody else's business...
Now where were we?
Mitsui charges at T.J.
Mitsui: Your end is near, Yellow Monster!
T.J.: Actually, its 'Yellow Dinosaur'. If you want to insult me, do it properly!
Mitsui: //sweat-drop// Whatever...Hey! Is that your mother in the stands?
T.J.: Really? HI MOM!
Mitsui makes use of his moment of distraction to steal his hat.
T.J.: NOOOOOOO! For the LOVE of all, give it back!
Mitsui sticks out his tongue at him and runs like hell.
Back at the spectators stand…Sendoh: //lying on a mat with an icepack on his head// quit fighting, you two. I'm trying to watch the match.
V.C.: Oh NO! I almost forgot about the match! //tosses fan aside//
The fan crashes into the unfortunate Fujima and the even more unfortunate cheerleader.
Back to the match…
Rukawa: Do'aho Green baby…
Baby Bop: Don't hate me because I'm beautiful!
Rukawa rolls his eyes (not literally!). With super nova speed, he steals Baby Bop's blanket and escapes.
Baby Bop: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! BLAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!
Baby Bop gives chase. Mitsui comes towards Rukawa, with T.J. still hatless and hot on his trial.
Mitsui and Rukawa run right past each other, causing the sibling monstrosities to collide and officially KO.
Someone: KO!
Mitsui: All right! High five!
Rukawa: //don't care//
Mitsui: ... Oh well....
Now it's Typewriter-sama's time to shine!LENG: Come to my arms, Barney! Express your LOVE for me!
Barney falls for it and starts running towards LENG. LENG whips out the typewriter and types as quickly as she possibly can.
Suddenly, Barney freezes in his tracks, makes a choking sound, and collapses to the floor, writhing in obvious agony.
Mitsui: I don't believe this! What did you do to him?
LENG: Typewriter-sama here tampered with his ventilation.
Back at the spectator stand…
Almost everyone: //holding popcorn//
Fujima: //halfway out from under the mangled heap of metal and cheerleader// Did I miss anything?
Ayako: Only one of the most exciting parts.
Fujima: //bangs his fist on the floor// Damn!
The mangled heap reacts violently to the fist's impact on the floor, and buries Fujima again.
No one bothers to answer his muffled screams for help and continue to eat popcorn and watch the match.
Miyagi: This is supposed to be a basketball match, so why is there no mention of a basketball?
Akagi: Shut up. It's just as nice this way.
Back to the court…LENG is practically enjoying watching Barney's agony. She was planning to leave him like that, if she hadn't noticed the basketball that had been neglected all this while.
Once more, she types furiously. The basketball dramatically bursts into flames, flies through the air, and lands on Barney. Barney is about to burn to death, when the guy inside the suit rips away from the melting purple plastic and runs around, screaming and still flaming.
Mitsui: Looks like he never learnt fire safety in school.
Rukawa: //asleep on the floor//
LENG: Grab some popcorn. This is going to be fun!
The guy acting Barney trips and stumbles on the unconscious T.J. and Baby Bop. All three of them dramatically burn like a bonfire.
Barney Fan Club: //struggling to free themselves from the pile of basketballs// HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO BARNEY! YOU SHALL PAY!
LENG types again, and the 1000 kg worth of basketball she had deposited on them earlier also starts to burn.
SD: ALL RIGHT! FOR ONCE, WE DON'T HAVE TO GET HURT!
Sendoh: With the exception of me...
Mitsui: me too...
Fujima: /still buried and can't say nothing/
A spotlight comes out of nowhere and shines on LENG and her typewriter. The crowd goes wild.
LENG: Thank you! Thank you all very much! Thank you!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
KICK!
THUD!
LENG: OUCH! Who the F******KA$$$$ kicked me!
LENG rubs her sleepy eyes and sees V.C. glaring down at her.
V.C.: Quit sleeping on the computer. I want to use the modem.
LENG: You mean that was all a dream?! DAMNIT!
V.C.: What are you talking about?
LENG: How about I type it out for you to see?
V.C.: Okay.
And so LENG types out her dream and sends it to Minna-san.
Wanna see it?
You just finished doing so…
~OWARI~