Story: Tales of a Non-Couple In NYC

Author: LitJJAiken

Chapter Title: The Meaning of Clueless

Rating: PG-13

Summary: What if Rory had missed her bus back to Hartford in "Lorelai's Graduation Day"? Literati.

Disclaimer: You know how useless these things are? I forgot one of these in my first chapter. No lawsuit yet. But anyway . . . I don't own "Gilmore Girls", I don't own Clueless, blah blah blah.

A/N: You may have noticed the absence of "Java Junkie" in the summary. That's because I'm not sure I'm going to write it. I don't really know how to write it very well, so . . . we'll see.

As always -- Loz, Katherine, Helen, Joan, Lauren, and Summer, you guys are the best.

"But theology is interesting, even if you don't subscribe to a particular religion," Rory argued. "It gives you a new perspective on life. It shows you the origins of the earth through other people's eyes."

"And it tries to change your life," Jess answered. He stooped down to the bottom level of the shelf in the bookstore. "Fore instance. 'Living a Christian Life.' See? There's already entire books on how to live your life based on the teachings of an uncertain entity."

"Maybe some people just have faith," Rory pointed out.

He shrugged. "Seeing is believing to me. I guess some people don't feel that way."

"I guess not," she echoed.

He stood up. "So. You ready to leave?"

"I guess so," she said. "This place is great. I wish we had stores like this in Stars Hollow. But I'm sort of stuck with Uncle Ralph's Reads."

He laughed. "Yeah, I'm lucky to live in a place where Lolita isn't banned."

"They lifted that ban when I was thirteen," Rory said. "I lobbied for it."

Jess' eyes widened. "I was just kidding."

"Unfortunately, I wasn't."

"Wow. Taylor's more psychotic than even I imagined. I suddenly have new respect for Luke."

"Well, how do you know he's the one who banned it?"

"Because he's the leader and founder of every small-town, freedom-stealing organization in that hellhole."

Rory and Jess began walking to the door.

"Stars Hollow's not a hellhole. It's a beautiful place. I mean, it has charm and funny, nice people and it's like one big family --"

"Rory, I don't have a whole lot of experience with the 'one big family' thing, but I don't think automatically placing blame on something not their fault is how a family interacts." He opened the door for her, still carrying her bookbag.

She walked out, now feeling a little bit of tension between them. She unconsciously ran her fingers over her cast. "Well," she said playfully. "To be fair, you did corrupt the town princess."

"Who needed a little corrupting, I might add," he said. "And really, I didn't do a whole lot."

She paused, both in her speech and her step. "You made me come here."

He looked at her. "That's right. I did."

After nearly being trampled into the ground, they continued walking.

"So," he said. "You want to get coffee?"

Rory's eyes lit up. "I love you!" she squealed. Then she realized what she had said, and who she had said it to. She settled down. "I mean --"

"Yeah, I know," he interrupted. "Come on, there's a pretty good coffee shop down the street here. Their coffee's better than Luke's."

"Okay, number one, you drink coffee? And two, impossible."

"Yes. And it is."

As they continued, Rory wondered why she was overanalyzing the "I love you" so much. It was an exclamatory remark she made to everyone, especially people offering to buy her coffee after a long day. And that's all Jess was, a friend offering to caffeinate her. A younger Luke, maybe. She suddenly had visions of Jess with a receding hairline and a backwards baseball cap. She giggled.

"What?" Jess asked.

"Nothing," she answered, struggling to control her laughing.

"All right then."

________________________________________________________________________

Rory and Jess sat at the corner table of the coffee shop. Rory sipped her coffee. Wow."

"Okay, I don't want to be a traitor, so I'll just say it's almost equal to Luke's," she commented.

"Told you it was good."

"I shall never doubt you again."

"Be sure that you don't." After a pause, Jess asked, "So how's Dean?"

"Dean's great," Rory answered. "So have you read the latest book of Gore Vidal's essays?"

"Why do you always do that?"

"Do what?"

"Steer us away from having an actual conversation. I'm not going to rail on him, Rory. I just asked a simple question."

"So, you don't hate him?"

"Well, I wouldn't say that. When I'm near him I feel the definite urge to throw a few lemons at his forehead. I've only held back because I didn't want to deal with Taylor's fit if I stole his lemons and, to top it off, I had used them for violence."

"Dean's my boyfriend."

"Believe me, I know."

"And," she said, "I understand that you don't like him."

"So let's review," Jess said. "You like Dean. I don't. You make out with him. I don't. Does this have a point?"

"Just that we can't talk about my personal life."

"So Dean is the main focus of your personal life? Gosh, Rory, I don't think that's healthy."

"There's another simple reason. You're impossible."

Jess chuckled. "Thank you, Mom."

Rory sighed. "You really are. Like, if I even mention Dean around you, you're all 'How's bagboy,' and I'm all, "Don't call him bagboy.' And you're all --"

"And I'm all, stop letting your mother force you to watch Clueless every two weeks. We're on the East Coast, Rory. That movie doesn't apply here."

"The message is universal."

"And what message is that? Never forget to accessorize? Never miss an issue of Vogue?"

"No, the message is that you can't help who you love."

"Even if it's your ex-stepbrother. I thought incest had pretty much died out in America by now."

"They weren't blood-related, at least. And hey, if Paul Rudd was my ex-stepbrother . . ."

"Please don't finish that sentence."

"I won't," Rory agreed.

"See? Here we are again. It's constant banter of no real meaning. We're interpreting a teen movie from seven years ago. How are you, Rory? You. Not Scarlett O'Hara, not Esther Greenwood, not Connie Corleone. Tell me about you."

"Well," she said. "School's good. Um . . . trigonometry sucks. But English is good. And my mom's good. Still, you know, pining away for Luke secretly while he pines for her visibly."

"Oh, so you noticed that too," Jess said with his patented half-grin. "I swear, sometimes I thought I'd go upstairs and find the two of them copulating."

"Oh, please," Rory said. "Oh, you evil person." She shut her eyes as if to try to block the image out of her line of sight.

"Hey, Luke could become your new daddy someday."

"And we'd be stepcousins," Rory added.

"And thus destroying any hope of a Clueless ending," Jess finished.

Rory smiled. "Yeah."

They sat, just watching people walk by and, unbeknownst to their own heads, enjoying the nearness of each other.

"Well," Jess said. "I'm done with my coffee. What about you?"

"Finished as well." She glanced at her watch. Wow. It's seven o' clock."

"We spent a long time in the bookstore," he reasoned. "So what do you want to do?"

Rory thought, I want to -- She stopped herself. Dean! Dean! Remember Dean? Her boyfriend. The sweetest guy in the world, the one who had built her a car. And they guy she was having these traitorous thoughts about was the one who had wrecked it.

"Rory?"

She realized she had gone silent of all the reasons she loved Dean and why she should hate Jess. "Mm-hmm?"

"We could go back to Washington Square for a while," he suggested. "We could read. I'm sure you have a book in your backpack."

"Three, actually."

"Of course. An novel, short stories, and essays?"

"No short stories today. Instead I've got a collection of e.e. cummings.

"Ahh. E.e. cummings. Not my favorite." He picked up her backpack and slug it over his shoulder.

Rory stood and followed him. "Why? He seems to be right up your alley."

"Well . . ."