Echoes in Time (v1.06 Revision, 04/29/03)
Chapter 1: The Return of the Fiancé
By AllWhacked
Send C&C to allwhacked@hotmail.com
http://www.geocities.com/allwhacked/
--- Disclaimer ---
Ranma 1/2 and its characters are the property of Takahashi Rumiko,
Shonen Sunday Comics, Shogakukan, Kitty TV (Japan) and Viz
Communications (USA). The characters of Tenchi Muyo belong to Kajishima
Masaki. All other characters and trademarks to appear are owned by
their respective owners. Note that this work of fiction is for free
entertainment purposes only. No compensation has been or will be
received.
Please do not archive this work without the author's permission. Thank
You.
--- Note to the Reader ---
This is an alternate universe/divergence fic with the bulk of the story
occurring after the Nanban Mirror episode (anime only). Now Ranma finds
himself stuck 400 plus years in the past with no means of returning
home.
"..." = spoken speech
'...' = thoughts
--- End Note to Reader, Start of Chapter ---
*** Present Day - Nerima, Japan ***
"Ranma, you idiot!" shouted Akane. The girl's eyes were clenched tight
and her head was tilted to the ground. At her side was her raised fist,
cocked as if having thrown a blind uppercut.
An odd silence then ensued as Akane simply stood there and waited.
'One.. Two.. Three..' she counted. 'Why hadn't he landed by now?'
Opening her eyes, she inspected her surroundings. There was an instant
glint of realization that something was terribly wrong with this
picture. Before her was paved asphalt and what looked like the front
gates of her family's dojo. She immediately began to scan her
surroundings, eyeing each member of the group as she took in their face,
image, or form.
'Mr. Saotome and Dad, check. Cologne and Happossai, check. Shampoo and
Ran--' A lump began to form in the back of her throat.
"Oh God?" she squeaked. "He's not... he's still back--he's..." A faint
cracking in her voice made plain her fear, as feelings of guilt and
dread passed over her. Soon her mind began to work itself into a
flurry--hoping and praying that somehow there was a way to fix all this.
Yet, no immediate answer came and Akane cursed herself for her limited
imagination.
'Damnit why can't I think of anything?' she thought. 'I should be able
to do this! So think Akane, think!'
But just as before, no semblance of a plan or idea formed. Nothing
seemed to come to mind--not until she heard two muffled voices from
behind.
"Give me back my mirror!" demanded Cologne.
"No, the mirror is mine!" cried back Happossai.
'Wait a second,' Akane thought. 'Why didn't I think of this before?
All I have to do is get the mirror from those two and then I can use it
to get Ranma back!'
The thought of it quickly lifted Akane's spirits. With the mirror, she
could use it to travel back in time and rescue Ranma.
'Plus,' her minded added. 'I'll get to gloat to that pervert that I was
the one to rescue him.' A malevolent smile broke out across her face.
'I can't wait to see the look on that jerk's face when I do.'
An image immediately popped up. In her mind a super deformed(SD)-Akane
stood proud and tall while a SD-Ranma bowed his head low--praising Akane
for the rescue, for her great martial arts ability, for her cooking and
a whole host of other unrelated qualities that Akane fancied herself at
being able to do well. Her eyes glazed over at the thought of it. The
world was looking like a brighter-better place she thought. Too bad
those feelings were short lived.
There was a loud metallic clank and Akane's heart nearly skipped a beat.
'The mirror!?' she thought. Akane quickly twirled around to confirm her
suspicion. At first sight she spotted Cologne and Happossai in an
undignified disheveled heap. In front of the two ancients, only a few
feet away laid the mirror; its glassy surface shinning brightly with the
reflection of the sun's rays.
'Oh thank God!' thought Akane. "It's not broken," she added out loud.
*Snap!* *Crackle!* *Pop!*
"Ah Shit!" She had spoken too soon. The teenager could only watch
helplessly as her elder sister, Nabiki had seemingly come out of nowhere
and stepped on top of the mirror--forever breaking its once flawless
finish. Now, the magical mirror was fractured into a dozen smaller
shards, its powers to traverse time and space destroyed by the impact of
the middle Tendo's tennis shoe.
"Gee, what a bunch of useless junk," remarked Nabiki. She was
completely unaware of what she had just done.
In the ensuing silence harkened by Nabiki's actions, Akane could only
listen on rather than react. She was now in a detached sense of
awareness; she no longer paid any further attention to her surroundings,
as realization came that Ranma was indeed lost to her.
"Oh God! Ranma, I'm so sorry!" she cried. Her voice was barely a
whisper as tears began to form under her eyes, marring her cheeks with
twin rivulets.
++++++++++
Shampoo was in a paralyzed state of shock. She had watched the events
that had transpired, remembering in vivid detail the sight of Ranma
being sucker punched when he wasn't looking.
'I'm so sorry,' she thought. She should have stopped Akane. She should
have protected her 'Airen.'
'Beloved, I'm so sorry. I should have stopped her, I should have--'
Shampoo buried that thought; she didn't want to cry. 'Not yet! There's
still hope,' her mind reasoned.
Turning to her Great-Grandmother. "Great-Grandmother?" Shampoo began.
Cologne looked up from her downed position to catch sight of her great-
granddaughter's dreary disposition.
"Yes, child?" she answered.
"You fix mirror, yes?" queried the girl. The sudden approach and
seriousness of Shampoo's tone of voice broke everyone else out of their
stunned stupor.
"Please say yes," continued Shampoo. "Shampoo need mirror to get
'Airen' back. Airen still behind in China."
The two fathers immediately picked up on this and reacted accordingly.
"COLOGNE!" gushed Akane's father, Soun Tendo. "YOU MUST FIX THE MIRROR!
WITH RANMA STUCK IN THE PAST, HOWEVER WILL HE BE ABLE TO MARRY MY SWEET
AKANE AND CARRY ON THE TWO SCHOOLS OF ANYTHING GOES MARTIAL ARTS?"
The Amazon Matriarch looked un-phased by Soun's loud wailing and
politely removed herself from the man's grasp. Then in her usual cool-
calm voice she uttered to everyone's astonishment: "Sorry Soun, but I
will not help you fix the mirror."
In response, the Tendo patriarch simply acted as if you hadn't heard
her, though that changed as Cologne's actual words began to sink into
his thick skull.
"Well, thank you, Cologne. Now when can you fix--what!?" He must not
have heard her right. "Surely you're joking?"
The wizened Amazon shook her head, causing Soun to make a quick set of
mental calculations. He deduced that with his options being few if any,
he had no other choice but to turn to the one man he despised most in
the world. Facing his perverted master, Soun began to grovel.
"Oh Master, please convince Cologne to fix the mirror. The future of
the two schools of Anything Goes depends on this. Without Ranma,
however will he be able to marry my sweet Akane? Waaah!!" he cried.
Genma who was also following the dialogue, quickly discerned the future
implications of what Ranma's disappearance would have for him. 'This
isn't good,' he thought. 'Without the boy, however will I be able to
enjoy an early luxurious retirement at my child's expense? How can I
rationalize my freeloading off the Dojo without an heir? What will I
tell Nodoka?' A shiver of fear ran through him at the last thought.
"Damn it Boy!" he then said under his breath. "Why was I cursed with
such a troublesome son?"
The sound of distant and angry thunder could be heard off in the
distance. Ignoring the rumblings from the heavens, Genma rushed up to
his friend's side and kneeled before Happossai, groveling all the while.
"Oh please! Please Master! You must convince Cologne to fix the
mirror. Without it, Ranma will be lost and the future of the two
schools (plus my early retirement he silently added) with him. Please
master!" he pled.
Genma and Soun then began to grovel in unison at their master's feet,
alternating between cries of desperation and deeply kowtowing.[1]
The Anything Goes Grandmaster looked on at the display in disgust.
"Shameful," he said simply while shaking his head. "Sorry boys, I'm not
going to help. Skill wise, Ranma might have been a worthy heir but he
failed to show the proper respect to his true master--me. I'm better
off without him and the school is better off finding a new heir."
Happossai began to walk away in preparation of groping some women and
stealing their panties--a favorite pastime that always cheered him up
when he was in a foul mood. The Anything Goes Grandmaster was about to
bolt when he heard Nabiki call out to him.
"But Grandpa," began Soun Tendo's middle daughter. "If Ranma is stuck
in the past, then you'll never be able to see Ranma-chan again."
The mention of never seeing Ranma's girl-half caused an immediate
turnaround in the Happossai's behavior.
"Oh Ranma-chan!" lamented the old man. There were crocodile tears below
his eyes lids as he raised his small fists to the sky. "Heaven!? How
can you do this to a sweet innocent old man? To deny him one last
chance to fondle those sweet and pert breasts. To rest my head one last
time in her amble bosom." Sniffling, "I never even got a chance to get
her to try on one of my brassieres!"
An exaggerated wail went forth that made Soun's current fit of crying
pale in comparison. Turning his attention away from the heavens and
then towards Cologne, the old man continued.
"Cologne-chan," he started saying sweetly. "Surely you can fix the
mirror?"
*Thwack*
Happossai was rewarded with a fast smack to the head from Cologne's
gnarled staff. The old man didn't even have time to raise a defense as
he was knocked through the Tendo Compound's wall, creating another hole
beside the one that had been created earlier in the day before their
departure to the past. Soun just looked on at this and cried some more.
"Waaah! Why can't you old people learn to get along? Why do they have
to destroy my property!?" he bellowed.
Genma was wise enough not to comment while Shampoo looked at her great
grandmother with sad eyes. Never had Cologne ever failed her, never had
she flat out denied a request--especially one of such great importance.
'But Great-Grandmother is wise and has her reasons,' the purple haired
girl thought. And so, while all eyes were fixed on Cologne, it was
Kasumi who was returning from grocery shopping that broke the tension.
"Oh my! Hello, everyone. Would you care to come in and have some tea?
If you're waiting for Ranma, I'm sure he's inside or will be returning
shortly." No one dared contradict the eldest Tendo daughter; no one
wishing to state that Ranma was not coming back, that he was stuck in
the past and had probably been dead for some time now.
*** Inside the Tendo Living Room ***
Everyone was sipping his or her tea as Nabiki took charge of trying to
deduce what exactly had gone on. She first began by questioning the
girls and Nabiki noted to herself that it was odd that Cologne did not
take charge of the situation. Normally, whenever events involved Ranma,
she was the first one to start issuing orders.
Thinking this odd, the middle Tendo began to ponder. How was this
situation any different from all the others? Why would Cologne seem so
disinterested in helping rescue Ranma? Surely something was amidst, but
what?
Nabiki had barely a moment to go over these questions, before Akane
exploded in anger. The youngest Tendo was seething from the rather
bias, though apt, portrayal Shampoo was giving about her and the events
that led up to Ranma's disappearance.
"How dare you say that about me you Chinese bimbo!?" yelled Akane, she
nearly frothed at the mouth like a rapid dog. "This is NOT my fault.
That idiot got what was coming to him. If he wasn't acting so high and
mighty and trying to get all perverted with.. with that slu--"
Akane halted as her eyes locked onto Cologne's. Everyone but Shampoo
and Cologne gasped at the slight implication of Ranma and Cologne
together and in that way.
A mental "Eww" resounded through their minds despite knowing better.
Cologne and Shampoo however narrowed their eyes as if daring Akane to
continue her current trend of slander--one slip of the tongue and Akane
would lose it was what their eyes conveyed.
During this silence there was a slight knock at the door. Being the
caretaker of the house, it was Kasumi who got up to greet the visitor.
So, with Kasumi gone, Soun was snapped out of his mental stupor.
Watching the byplay between Akane and the Amazons, he was wise enough to
pick up on their hidden threat, prompting him to scold his youngest
child for her behavior.
"Akane!" he all but shouted. "You will apologize to Cologne this
instant."
Akane just stared at her father in disbelief. No way was she going to
back down; she wasn't going to get ganged up on again. Not like the
time when her sisters betrayed her that fateful night and forced this
whole engagement nonsense onto her.
"No! I WILL NOT apologize," Akane retorted. "Ranma is a cheating jerk
and those Amazons are all the same--just a bunch of cheap bimbos trying
to steal someone else's man. And Ranma is no different; not only is he
a jerk, but he is a perverted freak too. He turns into a girl and he
was trying to get all perverted with that young Cologne. There is no
way I'm going to marry that... that PERVERT! He can just dry up and die
for all I care. I don't even know why we're wasting time trying to
rescue him. Even Cologne said she wasn't going to help fix the mirror."
Akane was all out of breath as she said this--her face flush with anger
and lack of oxygen. She knew that she didn't really feel that way, that
Ranma wasn't really acting perverted. But she was not about to admit
fault--to admit that she was the source for all this trouble.
'It's always been that jerk's fault,' she reasoned. Though her
conscience replied to the contrary.
'True, he was a jerk, but he was a nice jerk. You're just upset that
everyone is trying to push you two together. You don't want to admit
that you care for him so you need to demonize him,' her conscience
added. Akane thought over this but for once her ego failed to retort
back with a reply.
'That's right,' Akane mentally replied. 'I can't admit that I care for
him, not now...the moment I do that, dad and Uncle Genma would try to
get us married and I'm just not ready for that.' Akane wanted to cry,
to let out her feelings but she knew she needed to be strong. She could
continue on with this act with impunity, 'no way was Cologne not going
to rescue Ranma; she needs him to marry Shampoo. I have nothing to
worry about, right?'
++++++++++
Everyone was coming down from Akane's harsh statement when they took
notice of the surprised expression on Kasumi's face. They then took
notice of the two people following close behind her. One was an exotic
looking woman in her early twenties; she was about 5'6" with long cyan
colored hair that seemed to defy gravity. She was wearing a
conservative one-piece dress--the short hem of the skirt showing off her
long firm legs, while the rest of the dress hugged her hips and ample
frame in all the right ways. She had this air about her that left the
two fathers and Happossai drooling at their new female guest--causing
the other woman in the room to frown in disapproval.
While eyes were on the woman, they soon shifted to the man standing
behind her. He was a tall man by Japanese standards, a little over
5'10" with a muscular build. He looked to be in his mid to early
twenties, though it was hard to tell since men tended to age better than
women. He was dressed in a black, tie-less Armani suit and looked
extremely handsome with his straight black hair tied back in a short
braided pigtail.
The man flashed the room's occupants all a quick smile before he and his
companion bowed their heads in greetings. Even the men were impressed
as they sensed the man's raw power, the way he walked indicated that he
was a skilled martial artist and his gaze gave them the impression that
he was not to be taken lightly.
As more and more attention focused from the woman to the man, certain
things about him seemed to alert them of just who this person was. He
was taller, older, more mature in looks and demeanor, but to those who
knew him, they knew that the man standing before them was Ranma Saotome.
Everyone was about to speak, when the man interrupted by raising his
hand.
In a calm voice he continued: "Ah, by your expressions I see that you
all still recognize me... good. And for those of you who are still
unsure, yes I am indeed Ranma." A warm smile broke out across his face
as everyone save Happossai and Cologne went bug eyed.
"What? How... how possible?" began Shampoo. She couldn't believe that
her 'Airen' had returned to her. She was about ready to glomp him when
she heard the sharp voice of Akane's overtake her.
"You bastard! How dare you cause us to worry about you? Making us
think you were dead in the past."
The woman accompanying Ranma narrowed her eyes at Akane with a hateful
expression that seemed to twist her beautiful features into an angry
scowl. Her fist clenched tightly in a move to strike at Akane, but
before she could move Ranma placed a hand on her shoulder, causing her
to look up and see him shake his head. Calming down under his soft
gaze, she let go of her earlier anger as he came up close and began to
whisper into her ear.
In a soft voice, Ranma spoke. "Ryoko... Please, let me handle this."
Ryoko simply gave him an annoyed stare.
While Ranma whispered to his beautiful companion, the other women in the
room furled their eyes in jealousy--even Kasumi for some odd reason.
But it was Akane and Shampoo in particular who looked ready to commit
murder.
"Airen! Who spiky-hair woman? And why no stand next to proper wife,
Shampoo?"
Ranma smirked. It had been many many years but he still remembered how
Shampoo was and had anticipated this sort of reaction. He wished that he
had a camera so he could record her reaction to what he was about to
say. 'Perhaps Nabiki will have one,' he absently thought. Seeing that
everyone else was looking at him with the same question in their eyes,
Ranma coughed to clear his throat and replied.
"Well, to answer your question, Shampoo. This" gesturing to his female
companion "is Ryoko Hakubi, she" he paused--waiting a second to give it
some thought, "--is my fiancée." He grinned the last part out, watching
the play of emotions run across the audience's faces.
There were some initial startled gasps, but no one looked all that
surprised by his statement. The idea of Ranma having multiple fiancées
was nothing new to this bunch.
"Secondly," Ranma continued before anyone could interrupt. "As to why
I'm standing next to her and not to you, well... that's just it. She's
my fiancée and you're not."
There was dead silence after he said that. Ranma waited, the Tendos and
Genma waited, even Shampoo waited for her great grandmother to quip back
with her usual response of Ranma being Shampoo's rightful husband under
Amazon law. However, this did not happen and attention re-shifted to
Cologne while she silently sipped at her tea. Seeing that everyone was
eyeing her, Cologne set her cup down and took on a serious expression.
In a calm voice, she replied "what?" Everyone except Ranma, Ryoko,
Happossai and Cologne face faulted. In a quick recovery, it was Nabiki
who replied.
"What do you mean 'what!?' You always insist that Ranma is Shampoo's
husband by Amazon law. Why aren't you insisting on it now?"
Heads began to bob in unison to Nabiki's declaration, Shampoo's
especially, while Cologne looked none too concerned. Instead of
answering the Tendo girl's questions, she slowly brought the steaming
cup of tea to her lips then pointed with her chin towards Ranma. All
eyes shifted back towards him.
"Well, I suppose I am the one who should explain things," Ranma began.
"But before I do, I suggest everyone sit down for this. It's quite a
long story." Shampoo as well as Ryoko and Ranma sat down as he prepared
his thoughts. Taking a sip of tea and complimenting Kasumi on it, the
tension of waiting snapped when Akane interrupted.
"What the hell do you think you're doing pervert? Stop flirting with my
sister." Ryoko looked ready to kill Akane while Kasumi looked red faced
in embarrassment and perhaps a bit of joy at the implications that she
was being hit on by an attractive male. "Oh My" indeed.
Unperturbed by Akane's outburst, Ranma continued. "Excuse me, Akane,
but first off, if you're going to continue interrupting I will have to
ask you to leave. Secondly, I wasn't flirting with your sister. I was
merely stating a fact--it's good tea and Kasumi prepared it. Is it not
proper to compliment the hostess?"
Kasumi cheeks flushed as everyone else's head bobbed in agreement.
Akane felt shame faced at the truth of the words, but she wasn't going
to be humiliated--not by Ranma of all people. She was about to retort,
when Akane's father admonished her for the second time that day.
"Akane! You will respect your fiancé and allow him to finish." Akane
could only bow her head in frustration. She used to be daddy's little
girl, but now, ever since Ranma came, her father would go on with "Ranma
this" or "Ranma that."
"Grrr" she breathed out. 'This is so not fair,' Akane thought. Looking
at her father, she replied. "Fine! Take his side, see if I care."
Getting up abruptly, she stomped up to her room and upon entering
slammed the door shut. Soun apparently went into tears as he babbled
about his daughter yelling at him. Everyone else just rolled their eyes
at Akane's childish behavior, or rather Akane and Soun's childish
behavior. Coughing again, Ranma regained everyone's attention.
"Well then, with that out of the way I guess I should begin with..."
Everyone neared closer in anticipation as Ranma paused. "Ah I forgot
what I was being asked." Everyone let out a low groan in
disappointment, but quickly recovered when Shampoo replied.
"Airen going to explain why great-grandmother say you no longer
Shampoo's rightful husband."
Snapping his fingers, Ranma replied with "riiight. It totally slipped
my mind, especially with little Miss 'you know who' and her terror
tantrum. Honestly, I forgot what a total brat she was. Somebody ought
to go up there and spank her."
Ranma's little jibe received a hearty laugh from Nabiki, Ryoko, and
Shampoo while Cologne cackled. Soun wanted to protest, but the look
Genma gave him said that Ranma was right. Kasumi just frowned as she
wondered how to correct Akane's behavior.
"Okay, enough with the jokes," continued Ranma as he returned Shampoo's
gaze. "The reason why I'm not your husband is because... Shampoo, I am
your father."
Crickets could be heard chirping softly in the backyard as the room went
silent. No one dared say a word at what had just been said, none
wanting to admit the possibility that they had heard correctly--that
Ranma was indeed Shampoo's father. The information didn't seem right
though, there was no way it could be possible, but then again everyone
there knew that nothing was impossible when it came to Ranma Saotome.
As the shocked crowd began to acclimate to the sudden news, the first to
react was Shampoo. The poor girl was in shock. Did her "Airen" say
that she was his daughter? 'No Way!' she thought. 'This must be a
mistake, he must be joking,' she reasoned. 'This is all just a joke, a
cruel, cruel joke. Husband must be upset that I didn't protect him from
that pervert-girl.'
Shampoo began to chuckle to herself as the room's eyes shifted onto her.
The young Amazon was lost in thought as her eyes carried a glazed gleam;
a few sporadic laughs or hiccups would escape her lips before she would
speak again. Then, as if snapping out of a trance, Shampoo began to
speak with renewed mirth in her voice.
"Hahaha Airen, you play joke on Shampoo, yes?"
Genma and the Tendos were silently agreeing with Shampoo's assessment-
-to think otherwise just seemed too ludicrous and/or terrible to be
true. However, no answer came; instead, Ranma merely furled his brow
and continued to stare at the Amazon, his gaze stating that this was no
joke.
However, despite the seriousness in her 'Airen's' gaze, Shampoo would
not be deterred. 'Don't give up, to do so now is to admit the
unthinkable,' she thought. With another nervous chuckle, Shampoo
continued to speak.
"You very funny comedian Airen, but you no should play such joke on
Amazon wife." Shampoo proceeded to get up and brandish her bomboris, a
display designed to convey that she meant business--that to contradict
her now would surely result in pain. But, just as he did before,
Ranma's gaze never faltered. To all present parties, it seemed that the
unthinkable had just happened.
Then, without much warning or pretense, Ranma's stoic face turned into a
friendly smile. It was a sign that was soon followed by a collective
sigh from the assembled guests, with everyone letting go at once the
nervous breath they had all been holding. While Shampoo blinked in
surprise and was then contemplating rewarding herself for those few
moments of hell by glomping onto her 'Airen,' Ranma surprised everyone
yet again when he continued to speak.
"Yeah, I was just joking Shampoo. I hope there aren't any hard
feelings."
The Amazon girl in turn could only shake her head and accept her
"Airen's" apology; after all, there was plenty of time later to extract
her reward/punishment she giddily added. As Shampoo and company
continued to listen, the girl started to lose her earlier gaiety.
"Shampoo," Ranma continued in all seriousness. "I was lying when I said
I was your father. But on my honor and in all truthfulness, I'm
actually your Great-Grandfather."
A resounding "What!?" escaped the Tendos and Genma's mouths. 'He did
not just say that,' was their collective thought. While, everyone else
was reeling from this second bombshell, Shampoo on the other hand simply
shut down. Like a marionette with its strings cut, Shampoo's motor
functions ceased working.
First it was the grip of her hands, slackening just enough to cause her
bomboris to drop to the ground with a dull thud. Soon following was the
weakening of Shampoo's knees as she simply fell prostrate on the ground-
-landing flat on her rear. Ranma, Cologne, and Ryoko looked on with
calm faces that did not change even when Happossai interrupted.
"Ha! I knew it," he cried as he jabbed an accusing finger at Cologne.
"You were cheating on me! Oh God! I feel so betrayed. And.. and to
think, you chose him when you could have had a hunk like me," he cried
out as he shook his small fists in anger. Small crocodile tears began
to run down his face as he said this.
Cologne in response could only roll her eyes at the old man's pretense
while Ranma attempted to hold in his laughter--failing miserably as a
few chuckles and snorts escaped his lips. Seeing Ranma acting so callus
in the wake of his supposed pain and misery, Happossai was infuriated.
"You think a suffering old man is something to laugh at!"
"Oh, cut the crap Happossai," Ranma said sternly. "You're not going to
avoid blame by feigning innocence."
The old man immediately changed his attitude. "Sorry Master," he
replied half-heartedly.
Genma and Soun balked at this. "Master?" they said in unison.
"That's right," came Ranma's reply. "I'm actually the real Grandmaster
of Anything Goes."
"But.. but," the two men mumbled.
"Don't even try to think about it boys," said Happossai. "You two pea
brains wouldn't be able to figure it out so just shut up and let the
Master speak."
The two men along with the rest of the group were stunned. Their
combined gaze was all focused on Ranma. With this distraction,
Happossai who had taken a hurting from Cologne earlier was eyeing the
room's female inhabitants, looking for a quick recharge.
Under normal circumstances he would have just glomped onto Ranma-chan,
however those days were numbered and with Akane upstairs and Kasumi too
sweet of a person to attack, it left only three options. Nabiki he
briefly contemplated but he knew that the girl would find some devious
means at getting him back, Shampoo was a good target too since she had
large breasts and was already unconscious but Cologne would kill him.
And besides, Happossai preferred them conscious because aside from the
touch of flesh he also got off on the angered reaction that his glomps
brokered. With his first two options blanked out, that only left Ryoko
who although Ranma had proclaimed was his fiancée, the old man reasoned
that perhaps his old friend and master wouldn't mind if he tried to
sample the goods.
Happossai licked his lips. The two luscious orbs were a tempting sight
and he knew Ranma couldn't blame him for at least trying. With only a
warning of "hotcha!" as a cry, the man formerly known as the Grandmaster
of Anything Goes launched himself face first into Ryoko's amble bosom.
Only mere inches away from his twin targets, he was caught by the scruff
of his neck and held in a powerful and unwavering iron tight hold.
"Nice try, but I don't think so."
Happossai pouted and for his trouble he received the beating of a
lifetime.
"You pervert," screamed Ryoko. She instinctively covered her chest with
her left hand while the other reared back for a powerful slap that
rendered Happossai unconscious. The subsequent blows that followed
merely served to further bruise and injure the already comatose victim.
"Don't you dare, ever try that again! No one touches my breasts but MY
Ranma."
That outcry shocked everyone else even further. Instead of being
surprised that an elderly man would try to publicly grope a woman, it
was because everyone knew of Happossai's temptations and habits that
their attention was shifted to the news that Ranma was touching some
strange woman's breasts. They all gave Ranma a combined look that asked
him to explain.
In reply, Ranma only shrugged and gave them a "do you blame me?" kind of
look.
Although the expression on Ranma's face wasn't meant to broker a direct
response, the two fathers by that time knew that Ranma touching anyone
else's breasts aside from those of Akane's meant that the future of
uniting the two schools was in jeopardy. So ignoring everything that
had been said in the last few minutes, the first to react to this crisis
was Genma as he jumped to his feet and proceeded to admonish his son.
"Boy!" he said in a stern tone. "Who is this woman? I know for a fact
that I did not engage you to her."
Genma was not all that positive that he didn't engage his son to this
woman, but on the same token he was not about to admit that this was so.
Though she looked unfamiliar there were fuzzy moments that spanned the
mid-80s through 90s when it might have happened. It could have occurred
any number of times; when he was drunk and needed money or when he was
hungry and he wanted to scam for some food. Luckily for Genma he wisely
kept all this to himself as he continued to berate his son.
"I thought I taught you better than that. How can you cheat on your
fiancée with.. with this woman."
Soun quickly stepped in where his friend let off.
"Son," he began as he assumed the 'good cop' role. "How can you betray
my sweet Akane? I know that boys your age have their urges, but why get
yourself engaged to some strange girl so you can feel her breasts? You
already have a fiancée to do that with. If you're concerned about
Akane's honor then don't be. You now have my full permission to fondle
her breasts anytime, day or night."
Ranma didn't even have a chance to say, "gee thanks" before Genma
interrupted. "That's right boy! You now have permission to fondle
Akane's breasts. So if you know what's good for you, you'll march right
up there this instant and give them each a good long squeeze."
Ranma was about to retort to that when Kasumi interrupted. "Oh father!"
she exclaimed. "It really isn't proper for Ranma to be doing that with
Akane yet. The two should really wait until they're married first."
That statement seemed to set off light bulbs in the two father's heads
as she said that.
"That's right, Tendo," proclaimed Genma. "I'll call the minister while
you--"
Happossai step forward to intervene. "Don't even think about it boys,"
he said as he picked himself off the floor. He had been knocked out but
not for long. Despite looking bruised and battered the fear of
Happossai was still fresh in Genma and Soun's memory. The two men
cowered and immediately halted their plans.
"Yes, Master," they both cowed.
Ranma then thanked the pervert for getting the two fathers to settle
down.
"Alright, I know most of you don't know what the hell is going on so if
you all agree to keep quiet, I'll try to explain things as best I can.
When I'm done with my tale and you still have questions I'll be happy to
answer them for you. Is that satisfactory for everyone?"
Ranma saw everyone nod their heads, even the two fathers. So with their
promise to keep quiet until he was done, he cleared his throat and began
to spin the yarn of a tale that was his life up till now.
"Okay, it was long ago in a Chinese province far far away..."
--- End of Chapter ---
Please send C&C to allwhacked@hotmail.com and if you're going to
criticize, please give reasons why. Thanks.
Endnotes:
1. Kowtow - It's a Chinese terms and basically, it involves a person to
kneel on both knees and bow deeply. Then rising up to their feet, then
kneeling and bowing deeply. Sometimes this process is done numerous
times and was done to China to show respect to the Emperor and to other
important ruler types.
Q&A:
Q1. Is Akane acting a little out of character(OOC)?
A1. Well, for starters this is Anime Akane, so she's a bit more
temperamental. Secondly, she's not as OOC as say having Akane suddenly
realizing Ranma is the only one for her and then suddenly acting like a
saint. Then with her new personality change she goes off to declare her
undying love and just as randomly Ranma does the same. The two then go
onto live happily ever after while all the other evil-rivals/fiancées
shrivel up and die.
Chapter 1: The Return of the Fiancé
By AllWhacked
Send C&C to allwhacked@hotmail.com
http://www.geocities.com/allwhacked/
--- Disclaimer ---
Ranma 1/2 and its characters are the property of Takahashi Rumiko,
Shonen Sunday Comics, Shogakukan, Kitty TV (Japan) and Viz
Communications (USA). The characters of Tenchi Muyo belong to Kajishima
Masaki. All other characters and trademarks to appear are owned by
their respective owners. Note that this work of fiction is for free
entertainment purposes only. No compensation has been or will be
received.
Please do not archive this work without the author's permission. Thank
You.
--- Note to the Reader ---
This is an alternate universe/divergence fic with the bulk of the story
occurring after the Nanban Mirror episode (anime only). Now Ranma finds
himself stuck 400 plus years in the past with no means of returning
home.
"..." = spoken speech
'...' = thoughts
--- End Note to Reader, Start of Chapter ---
*** Present Day - Nerima, Japan ***
"Ranma, you idiot!" shouted Akane. The girl's eyes were clenched tight
and her head was tilted to the ground. At her side was her raised fist,
cocked as if having thrown a blind uppercut.
An odd silence then ensued as Akane simply stood there and waited.
'One.. Two.. Three..' she counted. 'Why hadn't he landed by now?'
Opening her eyes, she inspected her surroundings. There was an instant
glint of realization that something was terribly wrong with this
picture. Before her was paved asphalt and what looked like the front
gates of her family's dojo. She immediately began to scan her
surroundings, eyeing each member of the group as she took in their face,
image, or form.
'Mr. Saotome and Dad, check. Cologne and Happossai, check. Shampoo and
Ran--' A lump began to form in the back of her throat.
"Oh God?" she squeaked. "He's not... he's still back--he's..." A faint
cracking in her voice made plain her fear, as feelings of guilt and
dread passed over her. Soon her mind began to work itself into a
flurry--hoping and praying that somehow there was a way to fix all this.
Yet, no immediate answer came and Akane cursed herself for her limited
imagination.
'Damnit why can't I think of anything?' she thought. 'I should be able
to do this! So think Akane, think!'
But just as before, no semblance of a plan or idea formed. Nothing
seemed to come to mind--not until she heard two muffled voices from
behind.
"Give me back my mirror!" demanded Cologne.
"No, the mirror is mine!" cried back Happossai.
'Wait a second,' Akane thought. 'Why didn't I think of this before?
All I have to do is get the mirror from those two and then I can use it
to get Ranma back!'
The thought of it quickly lifted Akane's spirits. With the mirror, she
could use it to travel back in time and rescue Ranma.
'Plus,' her minded added. 'I'll get to gloat to that pervert that I was
the one to rescue him.' A malevolent smile broke out across her face.
'I can't wait to see the look on that jerk's face when I do.'
An image immediately popped up. In her mind a super deformed(SD)-Akane
stood proud and tall while a SD-Ranma bowed his head low--praising Akane
for the rescue, for her great martial arts ability, for her cooking and
a whole host of other unrelated qualities that Akane fancied herself at
being able to do well. Her eyes glazed over at the thought of it. The
world was looking like a brighter-better place she thought. Too bad
those feelings were short lived.
There was a loud metallic clank and Akane's heart nearly skipped a beat.
'The mirror!?' she thought. Akane quickly twirled around to confirm her
suspicion. At first sight she spotted Cologne and Happossai in an
undignified disheveled heap. In front of the two ancients, only a few
feet away laid the mirror; its glassy surface shinning brightly with the
reflection of the sun's rays.
'Oh thank God!' thought Akane. "It's not broken," she added out loud.
*Snap!* *Crackle!* *Pop!*
"Ah Shit!" She had spoken too soon. The teenager could only watch
helplessly as her elder sister, Nabiki had seemingly come out of nowhere
and stepped on top of the mirror--forever breaking its once flawless
finish. Now, the magical mirror was fractured into a dozen smaller
shards, its powers to traverse time and space destroyed by the impact of
the middle Tendo's tennis shoe.
"Gee, what a bunch of useless junk," remarked Nabiki. She was
completely unaware of what she had just done.
In the ensuing silence harkened by Nabiki's actions, Akane could only
listen on rather than react. She was now in a detached sense of
awareness; she no longer paid any further attention to her surroundings,
as realization came that Ranma was indeed lost to her.
"Oh God! Ranma, I'm so sorry!" she cried. Her voice was barely a
whisper as tears began to form under her eyes, marring her cheeks with
twin rivulets.
++++++++++
Shampoo was in a paralyzed state of shock. She had watched the events
that had transpired, remembering in vivid detail the sight of Ranma
being sucker punched when he wasn't looking.
'I'm so sorry,' she thought. She should have stopped Akane. She should
have protected her 'Airen.'
'Beloved, I'm so sorry. I should have stopped her, I should have--'
Shampoo buried that thought; she didn't want to cry. 'Not yet! There's
still hope,' her mind reasoned.
Turning to her Great-Grandmother. "Great-Grandmother?" Shampoo began.
Cologne looked up from her downed position to catch sight of her great-
granddaughter's dreary disposition.
"Yes, child?" she answered.
"You fix mirror, yes?" queried the girl. The sudden approach and
seriousness of Shampoo's tone of voice broke everyone else out of their
stunned stupor.
"Please say yes," continued Shampoo. "Shampoo need mirror to get
'Airen' back. Airen still behind in China."
The two fathers immediately picked up on this and reacted accordingly.
"COLOGNE!" gushed Akane's father, Soun Tendo. "YOU MUST FIX THE MIRROR!
WITH RANMA STUCK IN THE PAST, HOWEVER WILL HE BE ABLE TO MARRY MY SWEET
AKANE AND CARRY ON THE TWO SCHOOLS OF ANYTHING GOES MARTIAL ARTS?"
The Amazon Matriarch looked un-phased by Soun's loud wailing and
politely removed herself from the man's grasp. Then in her usual cool-
calm voice she uttered to everyone's astonishment: "Sorry Soun, but I
will not help you fix the mirror."
In response, the Tendo patriarch simply acted as if you hadn't heard
her, though that changed as Cologne's actual words began to sink into
his thick skull.
"Well, thank you, Cologne. Now when can you fix--what!?" He must not
have heard her right. "Surely you're joking?"
The wizened Amazon shook her head, causing Soun to make a quick set of
mental calculations. He deduced that with his options being few if any,
he had no other choice but to turn to the one man he despised most in
the world. Facing his perverted master, Soun began to grovel.
"Oh Master, please convince Cologne to fix the mirror. The future of
the two schools of Anything Goes depends on this. Without Ranma,
however will he be able to marry my sweet Akane? Waaah!!" he cried.
Genma who was also following the dialogue, quickly discerned the future
implications of what Ranma's disappearance would have for him. 'This
isn't good,' he thought. 'Without the boy, however will I be able to
enjoy an early luxurious retirement at my child's expense? How can I
rationalize my freeloading off the Dojo without an heir? What will I
tell Nodoka?' A shiver of fear ran through him at the last thought.
"Damn it Boy!" he then said under his breath. "Why was I cursed with
such a troublesome son?"
The sound of distant and angry thunder could be heard off in the
distance. Ignoring the rumblings from the heavens, Genma rushed up to
his friend's side and kneeled before Happossai, groveling all the while.
"Oh please! Please Master! You must convince Cologne to fix the
mirror. Without it, Ranma will be lost and the future of the two
schools (plus my early retirement he silently added) with him. Please
master!" he pled.
Genma and Soun then began to grovel in unison at their master's feet,
alternating between cries of desperation and deeply kowtowing.[1]
The Anything Goes Grandmaster looked on at the display in disgust.
"Shameful," he said simply while shaking his head. "Sorry boys, I'm not
going to help. Skill wise, Ranma might have been a worthy heir but he
failed to show the proper respect to his true master--me. I'm better
off without him and the school is better off finding a new heir."
Happossai began to walk away in preparation of groping some women and
stealing their panties--a favorite pastime that always cheered him up
when he was in a foul mood. The Anything Goes Grandmaster was about to
bolt when he heard Nabiki call out to him.
"But Grandpa," began Soun Tendo's middle daughter. "If Ranma is stuck
in the past, then you'll never be able to see Ranma-chan again."
The mention of never seeing Ranma's girl-half caused an immediate
turnaround in the Happossai's behavior.
"Oh Ranma-chan!" lamented the old man. There were crocodile tears below
his eyes lids as he raised his small fists to the sky. "Heaven!? How
can you do this to a sweet innocent old man? To deny him one last
chance to fondle those sweet and pert breasts. To rest my head one last
time in her amble bosom." Sniffling, "I never even got a chance to get
her to try on one of my brassieres!"
An exaggerated wail went forth that made Soun's current fit of crying
pale in comparison. Turning his attention away from the heavens and
then towards Cologne, the old man continued.
"Cologne-chan," he started saying sweetly. "Surely you can fix the
mirror?"
*Thwack*
Happossai was rewarded with a fast smack to the head from Cologne's
gnarled staff. The old man didn't even have time to raise a defense as
he was knocked through the Tendo Compound's wall, creating another hole
beside the one that had been created earlier in the day before their
departure to the past. Soun just looked on at this and cried some more.
"Waaah! Why can't you old people learn to get along? Why do they have
to destroy my property!?" he bellowed.
Genma was wise enough not to comment while Shampoo looked at her great
grandmother with sad eyes. Never had Cologne ever failed her, never had
she flat out denied a request--especially one of such great importance.
'But Great-Grandmother is wise and has her reasons,' the purple haired
girl thought. And so, while all eyes were fixed on Cologne, it was
Kasumi who was returning from grocery shopping that broke the tension.
"Oh my! Hello, everyone. Would you care to come in and have some tea?
If you're waiting for Ranma, I'm sure he's inside or will be returning
shortly." No one dared contradict the eldest Tendo daughter; no one
wishing to state that Ranma was not coming back, that he was stuck in
the past and had probably been dead for some time now.
*** Inside the Tendo Living Room ***
Everyone was sipping his or her tea as Nabiki took charge of trying to
deduce what exactly had gone on. She first began by questioning the
girls and Nabiki noted to herself that it was odd that Cologne did not
take charge of the situation. Normally, whenever events involved Ranma,
she was the first one to start issuing orders.
Thinking this odd, the middle Tendo began to ponder. How was this
situation any different from all the others? Why would Cologne seem so
disinterested in helping rescue Ranma? Surely something was amidst, but
what?
Nabiki had barely a moment to go over these questions, before Akane
exploded in anger. The youngest Tendo was seething from the rather
bias, though apt, portrayal Shampoo was giving about her and the events
that led up to Ranma's disappearance.
"How dare you say that about me you Chinese bimbo!?" yelled Akane, she
nearly frothed at the mouth like a rapid dog. "This is NOT my fault.
That idiot got what was coming to him. If he wasn't acting so high and
mighty and trying to get all perverted with.. with that slu--"
Akane halted as her eyes locked onto Cologne's. Everyone but Shampoo
and Cologne gasped at the slight implication of Ranma and Cologne
together and in that way.
A mental "Eww" resounded through their minds despite knowing better.
Cologne and Shampoo however narrowed their eyes as if daring Akane to
continue her current trend of slander--one slip of the tongue and Akane
would lose it was what their eyes conveyed.
During this silence there was a slight knock at the door. Being the
caretaker of the house, it was Kasumi who got up to greet the visitor.
So, with Kasumi gone, Soun was snapped out of his mental stupor.
Watching the byplay between Akane and the Amazons, he was wise enough to
pick up on their hidden threat, prompting him to scold his youngest
child for her behavior.
"Akane!" he all but shouted. "You will apologize to Cologne this
instant."
Akane just stared at her father in disbelief. No way was she going to
back down; she wasn't going to get ganged up on again. Not like the
time when her sisters betrayed her that fateful night and forced this
whole engagement nonsense onto her.
"No! I WILL NOT apologize," Akane retorted. "Ranma is a cheating jerk
and those Amazons are all the same--just a bunch of cheap bimbos trying
to steal someone else's man. And Ranma is no different; not only is he
a jerk, but he is a perverted freak too. He turns into a girl and he
was trying to get all perverted with that young Cologne. There is no
way I'm going to marry that... that PERVERT! He can just dry up and die
for all I care. I don't even know why we're wasting time trying to
rescue him. Even Cologne said she wasn't going to help fix the mirror."
Akane was all out of breath as she said this--her face flush with anger
and lack of oxygen. She knew that she didn't really feel that way, that
Ranma wasn't really acting perverted. But she was not about to admit
fault--to admit that she was the source for all this trouble.
'It's always been that jerk's fault,' she reasoned. Though her
conscience replied to the contrary.
'True, he was a jerk, but he was a nice jerk. You're just upset that
everyone is trying to push you two together. You don't want to admit
that you care for him so you need to demonize him,' her conscience
added. Akane thought over this but for once her ego failed to retort
back with a reply.
'That's right,' Akane mentally replied. 'I can't admit that I care for
him, not now...the moment I do that, dad and Uncle Genma would try to
get us married and I'm just not ready for that.' Akane wanted to cry,
to let out her feelings but she knew she needed to be strong. She could
continue on with this act with impunity, 'no way was Cologne not going
to rescue Ranma; she needs him to marry Shampoo. I have nothing to
worry about, right?'
++++++++++
Everyone was coming down from Akane's harsh statement when they took
notice of the surprised expression on Kasumi's face. They then took
notice of the two people following close behind her. One was an exotic
looking woman in her early twenties; she was about 5'6" with long cyan
colored hair that seemed to defy gravity. She was wearing a
conservative one-piece dress--the short hem of the skirt showing off her
long firm legs, while the rest of the dress hugged her hips and ample
frame in all the right ways. She had this air about her that left the
two fathers and Happossai drooling at their new female guest--causing
the other woman in the room to frown in disapproval.
While eyes were on the woman, they soon shifted to the man standing
behind her. He was a tall man by Japanese standards, a little over
5'10" with a muscular build. He looked to be in his mid to early
twenties, though it was hard to tell since men tended to age better than
women. He was dressed in a black, tie-less Armani suit and looked
extremely handsome with his straight black hair tied back in a short
braided pigtail.
The man flashed the room's occupants all a quick smile before he and his
companion bowed their heads in greetings. Even the men were impressed
as they sensed the man's raw power, the way he walked indicated that he
was a skilled martial artist and his gaze gave them the impression that
he was not to be taken lightly.
As more and more attention focused from the woman to the man, certain
things about him seemed to alert them of just who this person was. He
was taller, older, more mature in looks and demeanor, but to those who
knew him, they knew that the man standing before them was Ranma Saotome.
Everyone was about to speak, when the man interrupted by raising his
hand.
In a calm voice he continued: "Ah, by your expressions I see that you
all still recognize me... good. And for those of you who are still
unsure, yes I am indeed Ranma." A warm smile broke out across his face
as everyone save Happossai and Cologne went bug eyed.
"What? How... how possible?" began Shampoo. She couldn't believe that
her 'Airen' had returned to her. She was about ready to glomp him when
she heard the sharp voice of Akane's overtake her.
"You bastard! How dare you cause us to worry about you? Making us
think you were dead in the past."
The woman accompanying Ranma narrowed her eyes at Akane with a hateful
expression that seemed to twist her beautiful features into an angry
scowl. Her fist clenched tightly in a move to strike at Akane, but
before she could move Ranma placed a hand on her shoulder, causing her
to look up and see him shake his head. Calming down under his soft
gaze, she let go of her earlier anger as he came up close and began to
whisper into her ear.
In a soft voice, Ranma spoke. "Ryoko... Please, let me handle this."
Ryoko simply gave him an annoyed stare.
While Ranma whispered to his beautiful companion, the other women in the
room furled their eyes in jealousy--even Kasumi for some odd reason.
But it was Akane and Shampoo in particular who looked ready to commit
murder.
"Airen! Who spiky-hair woman? And why no stand next to proper wife,
Shampoo?"
Ranma smirked. It had been many many years but he still remembered how
Shampoo was and had anticipated this sort of reaction. He wished that he
had a camera so he could record her reaction to what he was about to
say. 'Perhaps Nabiki will have one,' he absently thought. Seeing that
everyone else was looking at him with the same question in their eyes,
Ranma coughed to clear his throat and replied.
"Well, to answer your question, Shampoo. This" gesturing to his female
companion "is Ryoko Hakubi, she" he paused--waiting a second to give it
some thought, "--is my fiancée." He grinned the last part out, watching
the play of emotions run across the audience's faces.
There were some initial startled gasps, but no one looked all that
surprised by his statement. The idea of Ranma having multiple fiancées
was nothing new to this bunch.
"Secondly," Ranma continued before anyone could interrupt. "As to why
I'm standing next to her and not to you, well... that's just it. She's
my fiancée and you're not."
There was dead silence after he said that. Ranma waited, the Tendos and
Genma waited, even Shampoo waited for her great grandmother to quip back
with her usual response of Ranma being Shampoo's rightful husband under
Amazon law. However, this did not happen and attention re-shifted to
Cologne while she silently sipped at her tea. Seeing that everyone was
eyeing her, Cologne set her cup down and took on a serious expression.
In a calm voice, she replied "what?" Everyone except Ranma, Ryoko,
Happossai and Cologne face faulted. In a quick recovery, it was Nabiki
who replied.
"What do you mean 'what!?' You always insist that Ranma is Shampoo's
husband by Amazon law. Why aren't you insisting on it now?"
Heads began to bob in unison to Nabiki's declaration, Shampoo's
especially, while Cologne looked none too concerned. Instead of
answering the Tendo girl's questions, she slowly brought the steaming
cup of tea to her lips then pointed with her chin towards Ranma. All
eyes shifted back towards him.
"Well, I suppose I am the one who should explain things," Ranma began.
"But before I do, I suggest everyone sit down for this. It's quite a
long story." Shampoo as well as Ryoko and Ranma sat down as he prepared
his thoughts. Taking a sip of tea and complimenting Kasumi on it, the
tension of waiting snapped when Akane interrupted.
"What the hell do you think you're doing pervert? Stop flirting with my
sister." Ryoko looked ready to kill Akane while Kasumi looked red faced
in embarrassment and perhaps a bit of joy at the implications that she
was being hit on by an attractive male. "Oh My" indeed.
Unperturbed by Akane's outburst, Ranma continued. "Excuse me, Akane,
but first off, if you're going to continue interrupting I will have to
ask you to leave. Secondly, I wasn't flirting with your sister. I was
merely stating a fact--it's good tea and Kasumi prepared it. Is it not
proper to compliment the hostess?"
Kasumi cheeks flushed as everyone else's head bobbed in agreement.
Akane felt shame faced at the truth of the words, but she wasn't going
to be humiliated--not by Ranma of all people. She was about to retort,
when Akane's father admonished her for the second time that day.
"Akane! You will respect your fiancé and allow him to finish." Akane
could only bow her head in frustration. She used to be daddy's little
girl, but now, ever since Ranma came, her father would go on with "Ranma
this" or "Ranma that."
"Grrr" she breathed out. 'This is so not fair,' Akane thought. Looking
at her father, she replied. "Fine! Take his side, see if I care."
Getting up abruptly, she stomped up to her room and upon entering
slammed the door shut. Soun apparently went into tears as he babbled
about his daughter yelling at him. Everyone else just rolled their eyes
at Akane's childish behavior, or rather Akane and Soun's childish
behavior. Coughing again, Ranma regained everyone's attention.
"Well then, with that out of the way I guess I should begin with..."
Everyone neared closer in anticipation as Ranma paused. "Ah I forgot
what I was being asked." Everyone let out a low groan in
disappointment, but quickly recovered when Shampoo replied.
"Airen going to explain why great-grandmother say you no longer
Shampoo's rightful husband."
Snapping his fingers, Ranma replied with "riiight. It totally slipped
my mind, especially with little Miss 'you know who' and her terror
tantrum. Honestly, I forgot what a total brat she was. Somebody ought
to go up there and spank her."
Ranma's little jibe received a hearty laugh from Nabiki, Ryoko, and
Shampoo while Cologne cackled. Soun wanted to protest, but the look
Genma gave him said that Ranma was right. Kasumi just frowned as she
wondered how to correct Akane's behavior.
"Okay, enough with the jokes," continued Ranma as he returned Shampoo's
gaze. "The reason why I'm not your husband is because... Shampoo, I am
your father."
Crickets could be heard chirping softly in the backyard as the room went
silent. No one dared say a word at what had just been said, none
wanting to admit the possibility that they had heard correctly--that
Ranma was indeed Shampoo's father. The information didn't seem right
though, there was no way it could be possible, but then again everyone
there knew that nothing was impossible when it came to Ranma Saotome.
As the shocked crowd began to acclimate to the sudden news, the first to
react was Shampoo. The poor girl was in shock. Did her "Airen" say
that she was his daughter? 'No Way!' she thought. 'This must be a
mistake, he must be joking,' she reasoned. 'This is all just a joke, a
cruel, cruel joke. Husband must be upset that I didn't protect him from
that pervert-girl.'
Shampoo began to chuckle to herself as the room's eyes shifted onto her.
The young Amazon was lost in thought as her eyes carried a glazed gleam;
a few sporadic laughs or hiccups would escape her lips before she would
speak again. Then, as if snapping out of a trance, Shampoo began to
speak with renewed mirth in her voice.
"Hahaha Airen, you play joke on Shampoo, yes?"
Genma and the Tendos were silently agreeing with Shampoo's assessment-
-to think otherwise just seemed too ludicrous and/or terrible to be
true. However, no answer came; instead, Ranma merely furled his brow
and continued to stare at the Amazon, his gaze stating that this was no
joke.
However, despite the seriousness in her 'Airen's' gaze, Shampoo would
not be deterred. 'Don't give up, to do so now is to admit the
unthinkable,' she thought. With another nervous chuckle, Shampoo
continued to speak.
"You very funny comedian Airen, but you no should play such joke on
Amazon wife." Shampoo proceeded to get up and brandish her bomboris, a
display designed to convey that she meant business--that to contradict
her now would surely result in pain. But, just as he did before,
Ranma's gaze never faltered. To all present parties, it seemed that the
unthinkable had just happened.
Then, without much warning or pretense, Ranma's stoic face turned into a
friendly smile. It was a sign that was soon followed by a collective
sigh from the assembled guests, with everyone letting go at once the
nervous breath they had all been holding. While Shampoo blinked in
surprise and was then contemplating rewarding herself for those few
moments of hell by glomping onto her 'Airen,' Ranma surprised everyone
yet again when he continued to speak.
"Yeah, I was just joking Shampoo. I hope there aren't any hard
feelings."
The Amazon girl in turn could only shake her head and accept her
"Airen's" apology; after all, there was plenty of time later to extract
her reward/punishment she giddily added. As Shampoo and company
continued to listen, the girl started to lose her earlier gaiety.
"Shampoo," Ranma continued in all seriousness. "I was lying when I said
I was your father. But on my honor and in all truthfulness, I'm
actually your Great-Grandfather."
A resounding "What!?" escaped the Tendos and Genma's mouths. 'He did
not just say that,' was their collective thought. While, everyone else
was reeling from this second bombshell, Shampoo on the other hand simply
shut down. Like a marionette with its strings cut, Shampoo's motor
functions ceased working.
First it was the grip of her hands, slackening just enough to cause her
bomboris to drop to the ground with a dull thud. Soon following was the
weakening of Shampoo's knees as she simply fell prostrate on the ground-
-landing flat on her rear. Ranma, Cologne, and Ryoko looked on with
calm faces that did not change even when Happossai interrupted.
"Ha! I knew it," he cried as he jabbed an accusing finger at Cologne.
"You were cheating on me! Oh God! I feel so betrayed. And.. and to
think, you chose him when you could have had a hunk like me," he cried
out as he shook his small fists in anger. Small crocodile tears began
to run down his face as he said this.
Cologne in response could only roll her eyes at the old man's pretense
while Ranma attempted to hold in his laughter--failing miserably as a
few chuckles and snorts escaped his lips. Seeing Ranma acting so callus
in the wake of his supposed pain and misery, Happossai was infuriated.
"You think a suffering old man is something to laugh at!"
"Oh, cut the crap Happossai," Ranma said sternly. "You're not going to
avoid blame by feigning innocence."
The old man immediately changed his attitude. "Sorry Master," he
replied half-heartedly.
Genma and Soun balked at this. "Master?" they said in unison.
"That's right," came Ranma's reply. "I'm actually the real Grandmaster
of Anything Goes."
"But.. but," the two men mumbled.
"Don't even try to think about it boys," said Happossai. "You two pea
brains wouldn't be able to figure it out so just shut up and let the
Master speak."
The two men along with the rest of the group were stunned. Their
combined gaze was all focused on Ranma. With this distraction,
Happossai who had taken a hurting from Cologne earlier was eyeing the
room's female inhabitants, looking for a quick recharge.
Under normal circumstances he would have just glomped onto Ranma-chan,
however those days were numbered and with Akane upstairs and Kasumi too
sweet of a person to attack, it left only three options. Nabiki he
briefly contemplated but he knew that the girl would find some devious
means at getting him back, Shampoo was a good target too since she had
large breasts and was already unconscious but Cologne would kill him.
And besides, Happossai preferred them conscious because aside from the
touch of flesh he also got off on the angered reaction that his glomps
brokered. With his first two options blanked out, that only left Ryoko
who although Ranma had proclaimed was his fiancée, the old man reasoned
that perhaps his old friend and master wouldn't mind if he tried to
sample the goods.
Happossai licked his lips. The two luscious orbs were a tempting sight
and he knew Ranma couldn't blame him for at least trying. With only a
warning of "hotcha!" as a cry, the man formerly known as the Grandmaster
of Anything Goes launched himself face first into Ryoko's amble bosom.
Only mere inches away from his twin targets, he was caught by the scruff
of his neck and held in a powerful and unwavering iron tight hold.
"Nice try, but I don't think so."
Happossai pouted and for his trouble he received the beating of a
lifetime.
"You pervert," screamed Ryoko. She instinctively covered her chest with
her left hand while the other reared back for a powerful slap that
rendered Happossai unconscious. The subsequent blows that followed
merely served to further bruise and injure the already comatose victim.
"Don't you dare, ever try that again! No one touches my breasts but MY
Ranma."
That outcry shocked everyone else even further. Instead of being
surprised that an elderly man would try to publicly grope a woman, it
was because everyone knew of Happossai's temptations and habits that
their attention was shifted to the news that Ranma was touching some
strange woman's breasts. They all gave Ranma a combined look that asked
him to explain.
In reply, Ranma only shrugged and gave them a "do you blame me?" kind of
look.
Although the expression on Ranma's face wasn't meant to broker a direct
response, the two fathers by that time knew that Ranma touching anyone
else's breasts aside from those of Akane's meant that the future of
uniting the two schools was in jeopardy. So ignoring everything that
had been said in the last few minutes, the first to react to this crisis
was Genma as he jumped to his feet and proceeded to admonish his son.
"Boy!" he said in a stern tone. "Who is this woman? I know for a fact
that I did not engage you to her."
Genma was not all that positive that he didn't engage his son to this
woman, but on the same token he was not about to admit that this was so.
Though she looked unfamiliar there were fuzzy moments that spanned the
mid-80s through 90s when it might have happened. It could have occurred
any number of times; when he was drunk and needed money or when he was
hungry and he wanted to scam for some food. Luckily for Genma he wisely
kept all this to himself as he continued to berate his son.
"I thought I taught you better than that. How can you cheat on your
fiancée with.. with this woman."
Soun quickly stepped in where his friend let off.
"Son," he began as he assumed the 'good cop' role. "How can you betray
my sweet Akane? I know that boys your age have their urges, but why get
yourself engaged to some strange girl so you can feel her breasts? You
already have a fiancée to do that with. If you're concerned about
Akane's honor then don't be. You now have my full permission to fondle
her breasts anytime, day or night."
Ranma didn't even have a chance to say, "gee thanks" before Genma
interrupted. "That's right boy! You now have permission to fondle
Akane's breasts. So if you know what's good for you, you'll march right
up there this instant and give them each a good long squeeze."
Ranma was about to retort to that when Kasumi interrupted. "Oh father!"
she exclaimed. "It really isn't proper for Ranma to be doing that with
Akane yet. The two should really wait until they're married first."
That statement seemed to set off light bulbs in the two father's heads
as she said that.
"That's right, Tendo," proclaimed Genma. "I'll call the minister while
you--"
Happossai step forward to intervene. "Don't even think about it boys,"
he said as he picked himself off the floor. He had been knocked out but
not for long. Despite looking bruised and battered the fear of
Happossai was still fresh in Genma and Soun's memory. The two men
cowered and immediately halted their plans.
"Yes, Master," they both cowed.
Ranma then thanked the pervert for getting the two fathers to settle
down.
"Alright, I know most of you don't know what the hell is going on so if
you all agree to keep quiet, I'll try to explain things as best I can.
When I'm done with my tale and you still have questions I'll be happy to
answer them for you. Is that satisfactory for everyone?"
Ranma saw everyone nod their heads, even the two fathers. So with their
promise to keep quiet until he was done, he cleared his throat and began
to spin the yarn of a tale that was his life up till now.
"Okay, it was long ago in a Chinese province far far away..."
--- End of Chapter ---
Please send C&C to allwhacked@hotmail.com and if you're going to
criticize, please give reasons why. Thanks.
Endnotes:
1. Kowtow - It's a Chinese terms and basically, it involves a person to
kneel on both knees and bow deeply. Then rising up to their feet, then
kneeling and bowing deeply. Sometimes this process is done numerous
times and was done to China to show respect to the Emperor and to other
important ruler types.
Q&A:
Q1. Is Akane acting a little out of character(OOC)?
A1. Well, for starters this is Anime Akane, so she's a bit more
temperamental. Secondly, she's not as OOC as say having Akane suddenly
realizing Ranma is the only one for her and then suddenly acting like a
saint. Then with her new personality change she goes off to declare her
undying love and just as randomly Ranma does the same. The two then go
onto live happily ever after while all the other evil-rivals/fiancées
shrivel up and die.