Having a big hate-on for fanfiction dot net right now. I went to a lot of trouble to format the Google entries exactly as they appear on screen, right down to the little (made-up) website address at the end of each summary. Then I tried four times to upload this chapter here. Well, this site blocks all attempts at site links, so rather than just leave out the little bits at the end of each entry, it gutted the middle out of my story., leaving this over two thousand word part at a little over eight hundred words.

So I did a copy of this chapter just for here. I'd give you my website address so you could see it the way I wrote it, but they'd probably just wipe out the whole damned part trying to save you from the link.

~**~

Part Two

~**~

Author's Note: This is the part that really looks better with proper formatting. I went to a lot of trouble to copy the Google layout exactly.

Also, the Dawn/Xander relationship is complicated, and essential to the story. But my Xander is no pervert. It is more than friendship, but not that. It really doesn't even appear until the next part.

~**~

~I woke up this morning really missing Dawn. And Willow and Xander, and Giles. I know once I get out of here, get a real life with more than one real friend, I'll be better, but some days it's hard.

Mom and Dad were by yesterday, and I think Mom must have warped her Gold Card, she'd bought me so many new clothes. Dr. Shah told her that maybe next week, I could get a day pass and go shopping with her myself. I got so excited about the thought of going to a mall, I almost cried with happiness.

I think that may be why I'm a little depressed today. I had all this freedom, even though I was the Slayer, and all I ever thought about when I was there was the limitations in my life. Now I'm all worked up about being allowed to go shopping – something I did regularly in Sunnydale without giving it a second thought. I know now how selfish I was back there. I wish I could go back and apologize. But I still don't really want to go back. Still kinda selfish, I guess.

I started my college work two days ago. It's all core course stuff, and I remember some of it, too, from my time at UC Sunnydale. It's not really very hard – I still have more free time than I know what to do with. I've been thinking about going to the library and checking out the stuff about this Alex Lewis. If what brought him here is like what brought me, there's a chance he might have come from another reality, too, and I might be the only one here who could understand what he's going through. I know I swore I wouldn't have anything to do with the supernatural anymore, but this may just be one way I can start helping others like I want to in my career. I'd just be uniquely qualified in this case. Besides, the supernatural doesn't seem to crop up as much here as it did back there, so I doubt I'd be setting a pattern.

Besides, the guy might just be plain nuts. All I know is that what I overheard bothered me, and I'm not good at sitting back and ignoring anything that bothers me. So, I guess I'll be in the library today.

Seven weeks, one day to go.~

~**~

"Hey," Buffy greeted the librarian. ~Giles flashbacks.~ "Uhm, can I use the microfiche?" When the woman nodded and motioned over to the bank of machines across the room, Buffy blanched. For all the time she'd spent in the library during high school, she'd never been much on actual library skills. "Or… Hey, the computer. Can I get to the internet from that?" Willow had taught her to use Google – surely if Alex Lewis was such a big deal, she could find out about him online. Heck, Willow found Cassie, and she was a nobody, sort of.

"I need clearance from your doctor," the woman cautioned, not unkindly. Buffy sort of understood – another thing she probably wouldn't have been allowed to do if she were still in That Ward. But a brief conversation with Dr. Shah, and the librarian was firing up a desktop and punching in passwords for Buffy.

~Google-dot-com. Simple. Alex Lewis. Simpler yet, and… whoa! Look at that. Results 1-10 out of approximately 1,590,600?! Holy moley.~ She was pretty sure they weren't all this particular Alex Lewis – it couldn't be that uncommon a name – but she was a bit overwhelmed by the amount. She began reading the summaries.

~YAHOO SPORTS: Olympic Hopeful Alex Lewis Suffers Breakdown – Alex Lewis, star swimmer for UCLA, apparently collapsed in the locker room after…

Going For the Gold – BIOGRAPHIES – Name: Alexander (Alex) Harrison Lewis Height: 6-1 Weight: 185 Birthdate: September 23, 1980 Birthplace: AppleValley, CA …

Official Athletic Site of the University of California, Los ...
... season. (more) With school record-breaking times, Alex Lewis leads Bruins to NCAA Championships Bruins will compete Thursday through Saturday. (more ...

Unofficial Alex Lewis Fanclub Site – He's tall, dark, and handsome, with a sad history and a body to die for – what about Alex Lewis is there not to love? …

~

She looked a few more in passing. The guy was obviously big news, but none of this was going to tell her anything Nat hadn't already, it seemed. Outside of a couple references to him collapsing in the locker room, his current condition seemed pretty well hushed up. She wished again Willow was here – she loved this kind of research stuff. Buffy so did not.

She might be bored, but she was not going to sift through a million plus web-pages about some guy she didn't know and probably wouldn't even meet, who may or may not have come from another reality to this one. ~Oh, well – so I don't totally waste my time here…~ "Excuse me, ma'am?"

The librarian looked up from her own computer.

"Do you have a copy of The Taming of the Shrew? 'Cos I need to read it for my English Lit course."

~**~

~I find myself thinking a lot about what I'm going to do when I get home. This is neither Sunnydale nor the same LA I remember from when I was fourteen. I plan to finish out this semester at UCLA in the correspondence course, but what do I do then? Do I stay at home and commute, or try to live on campus? I know in Sunnydale I chose on campus so I could be there with Willow and fit into the college lifestyle better, but here I don't know anyone. I could end up with another Kathy as a roommate. Well, not exactly, but someone almost as bad, without the whole 'demon sucking my soul out' downside.

I don't have anybody to rely on here – my old Hemery friends probably barely remember me, and if they do, they may run screaming from the crazy girl if they see me coming. Maybe I should just finish college by correspondence, and start fresh with the working world. I think I kinda know how Xander must have felt sometimes – being the 'townie' when we all went to college, and even before, when Willow was embracing her inner witchiness, Oz was a werewolf, Angel a vampire and me and Faith, Slayers. Besides him, only Cordy was close to normal, and she was super Social Queen, herself. It's hard to be on the outside looking in. He was stronger than we gave him credit for, not to flinch and turn away.

I think about this swimmer guy, too – Alex Lewis. Maybe I should try harder to figure out his deal. I mean, he's on the outside right now, too, right? Nobody even knows he's here, of the people that might care. Or maybe nobody really cares about him, except those two coach guys. Nat said he didn't have a girlfriend. If he had friends, good friends, you'd think they'd be trying to get in to see him. I wouldn't let one of my friends just disappear without making a stink until I found out where they were, and then demanding someone let me see them.

Although the way I acted after the last time I was brought back from here, my friends might not believe that statement.

If his problem is like mine, maybe I owe him. Karma or whatever. I dunno. But it still nags at me, and even without Slayer Senses, it feels wrong to just forget about him. I just don't know if there's really anything I can do.

Six weeks, six days to go.~

~**~

"Hey," Buffy waved at the librarian, who nodded in recognition. ~She probably doesn't get a lot of patients in here.~ "You mind cranking up the 'net for me again?"

Settled in, she clicked her way back to Google, and ran the same search as last time. ~Where to start?~ The biography seemed a good place, so she chose that one.

The page loaded kinda slowly while Buffy's mind wandered. She was almost finished with the Shakespeare assignment, and realized she probably should have brought her reading list so she could check out…

"Oh, my GOD!"

"Miss? Are you all right? You look like you've seen a ghost." Buffy ignored the librarian, staring open-mouthed at the computer screen. "What a nice looking young man," the older woman commented. Buffy still didn't answer. She couldn't.

Not until she could wrap her mind around the fact that Alexander Harrison Lewis was the identical twin of Alexander LaVelle Harris.

~**~

~I don't know how. I don't know why. But that guy is Xander - I'm sure of it. Now I have to figure out a way to get in and talk to him. I wonder if they ran into another one of those spikey demon things. Or if he's dead. No, if he was dead, he wouldn't be zoning in and out and need to be brought here. Back to the demon theory.

I so need to talk to him – let him know he isn't alone. I also need to tell him not to try and kill Wills or Dawnie, in case the doctors try that with him. Maybe together we can figure out how to keep him in one world or the other. I just need to talk to him. Soon.~

Once the shock wore off, Buffy had spent the entire afternoon surfing the Web, learning everything she could about Alex Lewis. A life more different than Xander's could hardly have existed.

Alex had a loving family, a great academic record, was successful in every endeavor. He was well-off, having inherited a great deal of money when his parents died, as well as receiving an almost record-breaking insurance settlement. It seems his parent's fatal accident was caused by an easily tested but faulty part in the brand new car they were driving. It was found in every car of that model. The product liability lawsuits that followed put the car manufacturer out of business. But Alex, when interviewed, said he gained no pleasure from that fact – it wouldn't bring his family back.

He was majoring in Mechanical Engineering at UCLA, and stayed near the top of his class in spite of a demanding competition schedule. He'd been eligible for the Olympic Team in 2000, but declined, feeling that completing his high school education first was more important. His place on the US Team in Athens next year was already assured – even though no one knew where he was at the current time. All the rumor sites had ideas, but no solid news about his whereabouts had been posted.

He didn't seem to have a best stroke – he swam superbly in all events, although his butterfly was called by one writer "a work of art." Matt Biondi supposedly asked for his autograph.

There appeared to be nothing this man couldn't do, and do well. Buffy hoped this really was Xander – this was the life he deserved.

Except the part about him being so alone. That was not something Xander should do, or ever really had done very well. He'd always had Willow, or Anya, or someone beside him – he drew people to him that way.

But this Alex seemed to all but push people away. The celeb gossip sites loved to talk about the famous girls who would come to watch him swim, and leave having spoken to him, but nothing more. Occasionally he was seen with a girl on his arm, but never the same one twice. Usually if the girl could be interviewed, she'd explain that he was just a good friend, and that was all he wanted to be. There was talk of a former lover, but it was nothing but talk, it seemed.

Everyone loved him, but he apparently had no one to love.

Still, Xander Harris in this world lived a life he never imagined in Sunnydale, in his wildest dreams.

Buffy really needed to talk to him. And she might have figured out a way.

~**~

"Is Dr. Coyle in?" Buffy had on her best outfit, and felt like she was on a job interview.

"Yes, Miss…?"

"Summers, Buffy Summers. I need to talk to him about Alex Lewis. I think I can help."

"I don't think…"

"It's okay, Melanie. I'd actually like to talk to Miss Summers, myself." Buffy looked over at the grandfatherly man standing in the doorway behind the receptionist. The voice was the one she'd heard in her hall, but she never would have connected this small jovial man to it.

Buffy looked back over her shoulder as he ushered her into the room. "You'd better call Dr. Shah, too. I have a feeling she'll need to be involved." The doctor nodded in agreement, and the girl picked up the phone.

The doctor extended his hand. "I'm Irving Coyle, Buffy. I'm pleased to meet you. Did Menah tell you I wanted to talk with you?"

"Actually, Dr. Coyle," Buffy answered while settling in her chair after shaking his hand, "Private conversations are best kept private when not conducted in a public hallway. Particularly the hallway outside the room of one of the subjects of the conversation."

The doctor guffawed. "You are a spitfire. And clearly better, too, aren't you?"

Buffy shrugged. "I feel good, and Dr. Shah agrees."

"Indeed, I do." Buffy hadn't even heard her doctor come in the door. Dr. Coyle smiled brightly at her.

"Menah, do come in and have a seat. I was just getting to know your patient here."

"I thought I made it clear you didn't have my permission to contact Buffy, Irving."

"Ah, but she came to me. She asked for you, too. She's a smart girl who overheard us talking in the hall, and now that you're here, I'd like to hear what she has to say."

"You told Dr. Shah that whatever is wrong with Alex is similar to what was wrong with me. Now, I don't remember a lot from my worst days, but I do remember some of the better ones. And I remember needing someone to talk to that understood. It might have made the transition easier, if I could have discussed my delusions with someone who wasn't always judging me on them – I know it was Dr. Marcus trying to help me deal with reality, but sometimes it felt like judgment."

"Buffy, you don't want to enable Alex in his delu…"

"Dr. Shah, they told me to rid myself of the things that supported my hallucinations," Buffy interrupted angrily. "In my confused mind, I heard him telling me to kill my friends! As if I wasn't messed up enough – imagine with me dealing with the thought that I'd killed the only friends I had, the only friends that were real to me at that time."

"I never did agree with Sid's method of handling this case," Dr. Shah mumbled guiltily, looking up at Dr. Coyle.

"Nor did I," Irving reassured her gently. "And maybe that's why she didn't get better until he left and you took over her care. I think we should give Buffy a chance to talk with Alex. I'm not going to stop his medications or quit having sessions with him or anything, but I don't think she'd do him any harm."

Buffy's gaze bored into the older doctor's eyes. "I have another request."

He half smiled. "Shoot."

"I know you won't let me go in there alone – I wouldn't, if I were you. Too many things could go wrong – there should be a witness. But I don't want to take a doctor in there, or anybody that might appear to be threatening. Say, a big burly intern."

Dr. Coyle was smiling openly now. "I assume you have someone in mind?"

"Natalie Carlyle."

~**~