Chapter 25
When he awoke the next morning, Harry was mildly relieved to see that only Dumbledore and Sirius were still by his side, both of them sound asleep in their respective chairs.
He silently turned his head to look out the windows on the far side of the infirmary and was startled to see that the sun was high in the winter sky, meaning he had been asleep for several hours.
'Ginny, and the others must be in classes' he thought to himself as he turned back to see the bright blue eyes of his headmaster looking intently at him.
"Good morning Harry. How are you feeling?" he asked in concern, keeping his eyes fixed on Harry's face
"Not too terribly bad, considering sir" Harry answered truthfully, because the soreness his muscles had felt last time he had awoken was almost completely gone and the pain in his side was only a dull throb now.
"That is good news indeed Harry" said the headmaster kindly, and some of the familiar twinkle returned to his eyes for a moment
"What about Shaw sir?" asked Harry, not even trying to hide the contempt from his voice
"Taken into custody and being held in a maximum security cell at the ministry awaiting trial" answered the old man, obviously not wanting to elaborate
"Albus, how is it that a supporter of Voldemort became the head Auror? Why hasn't he been arrested before this and why wasn't he with the rest when they attacked the school?" demanded Sirius, and Harry and Dumbledore both gave him surprised expressions since neither had realized that he was awake
"Sirius, perhaps we should retire to my office to discuss this" suggested the aged wizard, clearly not wanting Harry to hear what he was about to say
"No Albus" said Sirius firmly "that man tried and almost succeeded in killing Harry. He has a right to know how and why"
Harry was grateful for his godfathers insistence and also fixed the headmaster with an expectant gaze before the man sighed deeply and answered their questions
"Very well, Harry does have a right to know" he said miserably, the twinkling completely disappearing from his tired eyes "As for your first question Sirius, I don't have an answer. I have no idea how Shaw was capable of achieving such a position without being discovered.
As for why he hasn't been discovered before, I only have a theory that Voldemort didn't allow any of his other followers know the identities of high ranking officials in the ministry so that there would never be the threat of those followers being discovered and imprisoned. This is also the reason I believe Shaw was not present at the attack last spring. Voldemort wanted to assure that if he were defeated and his followers were captured, there would be others available to free them and rejoin their master. Keep in mind that these are only theories and speculations since Shaw had yet to be questioned.
Now Harry, I have a rather difficult question for you if you don't mind" he concluded as he fixed his eyes on the Gryffindor boy once again
Harry had a vague idea what was about to come, but he answered anyways
"Go ahead sir"
"I would like for you to tell me about the time between your disappearance and the night you turned up in the muggle hospital as well as who you appeared to be speaking to before you lost consciousness that was telling you to kill Shaw " he said bluntly, his gaze never wavering from the boy before him
"Albus, surely." Sirius began to object but was cut off by Harry
"It's alright Sirius" he said without looking at his godfather before continuing "Headmaster, I'm afraid you already know almost everything. Ginny told you the beginning the first day of term but I'll tell you the rest now, as much as I remember anyway. I keep having the same nightmares over and over again, but they never get any further than the same point. I remember waking up and being found by Malfoy, and him ordering two other death eaters to beat me. Them I remember waking up in a small dark room and someone coming in and dragging me up some stairs and into a large chamber where all of the others are gathered. Then I hear Voldemort say something about not getting rid of him that easily. That's when I wake up" he explained
"You don't remember anything else?" asked Dumbledore
"Bits and pieces, mainly people cursing me, but no specifics. As for who I was talking to, I have no idea, there was just a voice in my head telling me that I wanted to kill Shaw for the pain he caused me and when I refused, it said I would regret it and then I felt pain worse than ten Cruciatus curses, but they were coming from myself, there was no way I could block it out or stop it. That's all I know, I'm sorry" he said miserably as he looked to his hands which were on his lap
"Don't be sorry Harry; there is nothing you can do about it. Please come to me though if you remember anything else. You have given me enough to think about right now and I must contact the minister about the results of the trial. You should get some rest for the time being, I'm sure Poppy wouldn't mind releasing you to Sirius' quarters. You will be excused from the rest of your classes this week, but I imagine there are several people who are anxious to see that you have recovered" he said as he got to his feet and prepared to leave.
Sighing heavily, Harry settled back into his bed and turned to face the concerned eyes of his godfather.
"Tell me the truth Harry, how are you feeling"
"Honestly Sirius, not bad. Perhaps a little sore and tired but that's all. Why do you ask?"
"I care about you Harry, it's my job to protect you and so far I've done a pretty terrible job at it"
"No you haven't Sirius. You are the first real family I've ever had and it is not your fault that Voldemort and his brainless followers have been out to get me since the day I was born" he said gently, trying to reassure his godfather
"That's just it Harry, ever since I was named your godfather by Lily and James I've allowed so many things to happen to you. First I convinced them to change to Peter and caused their deaths, then I went after the rat and got arrested and caused you to be brought up by those pathetic relatives of yours and was absent in your life for twelve years.
Then when I got out and found you, I allowed you to get kidnapped by you- know-who during the triwizard tournament where you had to watch a friend get killed and then have to face the bastard in a duel where you barley escaped alive.
And if that's not bad enough, I was in Hogsmeade when they decided to attack to castle last year and got back just in time to see five people holding you under the cruciatus curse before you again dueled with you-know- who and before I knew what was happening, you were hit with the killing curse and then disappeared for three months.
When we found you again and you started to recover, I finally thought things were starting to go the right way only to have a death eater sneak into the castle and duel you and almost kill you yet again by stabbing you.
Can't you see what a pathetic job I've done at protecting you? If I had been a decent godfather, I would have never allowed any of these things to happen and your main concern would be taking tests and your relationship with Ginny, not weather or not you are going to be captured, tortured, or killed in the near future"
As Sirius confessed these things, Harry was shocked to see that the older man had tears running unchecked down his cheeks. This man had always been so strong and invincible in his eyes. He knew Sirius had blamed himself for his parents' deaths, but he had no idea that he thought he had caused every bad thing that Harry had ever had happen in his life.
"Sirius, look at me" he demanded and when Sirius continued to look at the floor, Harry gently took his chin in his hand and forced him to look into his eyes before continuing
"Sirius, listen to me here. None of this is your fault at all. Voldemort would have found a way to take me during the tournament no matter what you tried to do. Even Dumbledore had no idea about what he had planned. As for what happened last year, everyone knows that I would have to face him again eventually and I refused to let him hurt Ginny.
You were busy trying to protect the younger students, I saw you, and before that, all of you were being restrained by death eaters, there is no way anyone could have prevented that. And as far as Shaw is concerned, I had my suspicions about him as soon as I saw him. I knew there was something not quite right about him so I decided to find out what it was so I provoked him into dueling with me so there was no way you could have stopped that either.
I underestimated him and that is how I got stabbed. Can you see now that none of this is your fault? You have been the perfect godfather since I met you, and you always try to protect me. It's not your fault that the world likes to torture me like this, you've always been there to help me out of my latest mess.
As far as I'm concerned, you're the best godfather that my parents could have chosen to lookout for me" he said honestly, and to his own surprise, he felt tears stinging his eyes, though he knew they would never fall, they never did, mainly because he had trained himself long ago never to cry, no matter what the circumstances were.
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Ginny was miserable. She was sitting in her history of magic class listening to professor Binns drone on and on about some warlocks convention that had occurred nearly two hundred years ago and try as she might, she just couldn't bring herself to pay attention to what the ghost was saying, she had much more important things on her mind, like Harry.
While she was being forced to sit through class, he was still in the hospital wing recovering. The initial injury had been healed for several days now, leaving nothing behind but a two inch long scar that just blended in with the hundreds of others that marred his once unmarked skin. The poison was what he was still trying to recover from. Even though he was out of any life threatening danger from the poisons that the blade had been coated with, the fact that they had been in his blood stream for so long were still causing him some problems. His energy levels were nearly nonexistent and he could only stay awake for short periods of time before he fell asleep from exhaustion and it seemed that he was always shivering from cold no matter how many blankets covered him.
It had been nearly four days since he had been admitted to the hospital wing, and slowly but surely, he was recovering. Today was the last day of classes before Christmas break and like all the previous years, her, Ron, and Hermione would be remaining at the castle, if only to keep Harry company. Most of the other students were going home for the first time since Voldemort's rebirth, parents finally feeling safe enough to allow their children to return for the holiday, with no threat of being attacked, while they slept, by death eaters. So far, they were the only four Gryffindor students who had signed up to remain at the castle, and they were not complaining to say the least. Ginny got a small smile on her face as this thought came to mind, but it disappeared immediately as another took its place.
No matter how bad the after effects of the poison were, they paled in comparison to what plagued her boyfriends' dreams. He could never remember what he had dreamed about when he woke up, but watching his sleeping body made her glad he couldn't remember.
They always started out the same way, his breathing would pick up and every muscle in his body would tense and his fists would become tight as he gripped the sheets below his body. He would then break out in a heavy sweat and kick the several layers of thick blankets off as he started thrashing around in the bed. He would then start moaning in pain and mumbling incoherently under his breath for several minutes before he would sit bolt upright and start gasping for breath as he starred straight ahead with a horrified expression on his face. Then he would look wildly around him until he caught the eyes of either her or Sirius, one of which was always by his side. They would ask him what had happened, but he would get a confused expression on his face for a split second before he met their eyes again and said he couldn't remember.
These nightmares were what bothered Ginny the most because come tomorrow, Harry would be returning to Gryffindor tower once all the other students left because Sirius was being sent out with Remus and Snape to question Shaw and then stand as witnesses at his trial along with the other professors a few days later. The three of them would be gone until the day before Christmas Eve, nine days from now.
Another thing that she was worried about was how Ron and Hermione would react when they found out that Harry had the dark mark on his arm. She knew he had put a lot of effort into hiding it from all of them, and she was amazed that he had been successful for so long. She had told him that it didn't matter to her that he had it, and it really didn't. But if she were completely honest with herself, it scared her. This thing that she had come to fear and hate with all of her being was tattooed as a disgusting and terrifying reminder on her boyfriends arm, to always remind them of dark times. She knew in her heart that he would have never gotten it of his own free will, but she wasn't sure if Harry's best friends would see it the same way she did. She was worried that this would be the last straw for the two of them and that once they found out, that they would turn on him for good.
"Miss. Westley, could you please answer my question?" upon hearing her name, or as close to it as the ghost ever got, Ginny's head snapped up and she was pulled from her thoughts
"Could you repeat the question please sir?" she asked tentatively, flashing a bright smile that she hoped would result in him forgiving her
"I asked you who was responsible for the Warlocks Convention of 1783 being disbanded before they voted on the issue of whether or not the breeding of certain deadly magical beasts should be forbidden" he answered in a monotonous voice
Ginny was at a lose for the answer, she had let her mind wander and due to the events of the past week had not read her assignment the night before. She was about to say she didn't know when she felt someone nudge her left side and she glanced into the face of Colin Creevey for an instant before he motioned with his eyes for her to look at the table before her where a name was written in large letters. Smiling slightly in gratitude, she answered the question.
"Ian Marthwise sir"
"Thank you Miss. Westley, now as I was saying." he continued in his dull voice and Ginny blocked him out again as she wrote a quick thank you to Colin who smiled at her as she once again lost herself in her own wandering thoughts. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N: Hey guys, this will be short because I have to get to sleep so I can go trick or treating tomorrow night and stay up all night!! Halloween is so much fun, what other day can twenty year olds dress up and act like little kids without being though of as immature? Well, thanks for all your reviews for the last chapter and please let me know what you think of this one as well, I know it doesn't have any action, it's mainly just emotional stuff and talking, but it will establish what is to come so please let me know what you think! Oh yeah, someone asked me how many chapters this was going to be and to tell you the truth, I have no idea yet, I post as I write, but rest assured that there is still more to come. Thanks for reviewing!
When he awoke the next morning, Harry was mildly relieved to see that only Dumbledore and Sirius were still by his side, both of them sound asleep in their respective chairs.
He silently turned his head to look out the windows on the far side of the infirmary and was startled to see that the sun was high in the winter sky, meaning he had been asleep for several hours.
'Ginny, and the others must be in classes' he thought to himself as he turned back to see the bright blue eyes of his headmaster looking intently at him.
"Good morning Harry. How are you feeling?" he asked in concern, keeping his eyes fixed on Harry's face
"Not too terribly bad, considering sir" Harry answered truthfully, because the soreness his muscles had felt last time he had awoken was almost completely gone and the pain in his side was only a dull throb now.
"That is good news indeed Harry" said the headmaster kindly, and some of the familiar twinkle returned to his eyes for a moment
"What about Shaw sir?" asked Harry, not even trying to hide the contempt from his voice
"Taken into custody and being held in a maximum security cell at the ministry awaiting trial" answered the old man, obviously not wanting to elaborate
"Albus, how is it that a supporter of Voldemort became the head Auror? Why hasn't he been arrested before this and why wasn't he with the rest when they attacked the school?" demanded Sirius, and Harry and Dumbledore both gave him surprised expressions since neither had realized that he was awake
"Sirius, perhaps we should retire to my office to discuss this" suggested the aged wizard, clearly not wanting Harry to hear what he was about to say
"No Albus" said Sirius firmly "that man tried and almost succeeded in killing Harry. He has a right to know how and why"
Harry was grateful for his godfathers insistence and also fixed the headmaster with an expectant gaze before the man sighed deeply and answered their questions
"Very well, Harry does have a right to know" he said miserably, the twinkling completely disappearing from his tired eyes "As for your first question Sirius, I don't have an answer. I have no idea how Shaw was capable of achieving such a position without being discovered.
As for why he hasn't been discovered before, I only have a theory that Voldemort didn't allow any of his other followers know the identities of high ranking officials in the ministry so that there would never be the threat of those followers being discovered and imprisoned. This is also the reason I believe Shaw was not present at the attack last spring. Voldemort wanted to assure that if he were defeated and his followers were captured, there would be others available to free them and rejoin their master. Keep in mind that these are only theories and speculations since Shaw had yet to be questioned.
Now Harry, I have a rather difficult question for you if you don't mind" he concluded as he fixed his eyes on the Gryffindor boy once again
Harry had a vague idea what was about to come, but he answered anyways
"Go ahead sir"
"I would like for you to tell me about the time between your disappearance and the night you turned up in the muggle hospital as well as who you appeared to be speaking to before you lost consciousness that was telling you to kill Shaw " he said bluntly, his gaze never wavering from the boy before him
"Albus, surely." Sirius began to object but was cut off by Harry
"It's alright Sirius" he said without looking at his godfather before continuing "Headmaster, I'm afraid you already know almost everything. Ginny told you the beginning the first day of term but I'll tell you the rest now, as much as I remember anyway. I keep having the same nightmares over and over again, but they never get any further than the same point. I remember waking up and being found by Malfoy, and him ordering two other death eaters to beat me. Them I remember waking up in a small dark room and someone coming in and dragging me up some stairs and into a large chamber where all of the others are gathered. Then I hear Voldemort say something about not getting rid of him that easily. That's when I wake up" he explained
"You don't remember anything else?" asked Dumbledore
"Bits and pieces, mainly people cursing me, but no specifics. As for who I was talking to, I have no idea, there was just a voice in my head telling me that I wanted to kill Shaw for the pain he caused me and when I refused, it said I would regret it and then I felt pain worse than ten Cruciatus curses, but they were coming from myself, there was no way I could block it out or stop it. That's all I know, I'm sorry" he said miserably as he looked to his hands which were on his lap
"Don't be sorry Harry; there is nothing you can do about it. Please come to me though if you remember anything else. You have given me enough to think about right now and I must contact the minister about the results of the trial. You should get some rest for the time being, I'm sure Poppy wouldn't mind releasing you to Sirius' quarters. You will be excused from the rest of your classes this week, but I imagine there are several people who are anxious to see that you have recovered" he said as he got to his feet and prepared to leave.
Sighing heavily, Harry settled back into his bed and turned to face the concerned eyes of his godfather.
"Tell me the truth Harry, how are you feeling"
"Honestly Sirius, not bad. Perhaps a little sore and tired but that's all. Why do you ask?"
"I care about you Harry, it's my job to protect you and so far I've done a pretty terrible job at it"
"No you haven't Sirius. You are the first real family I've ever had and it is not your fault that Voldemort and his brainless followers have been out to get me since the day I was born" he said gently, trying to reassure his godfather
"That's just it Harry, ever since I was named your godfather by Lily and James I've allowed so many things to happen to you. First I convinced them to change to Peter and caused their deaths, then I went after the rat and got arrested and caused you to be brought up by those pathetic relatives of yours and was absent in your life for twelve years.
Then when I got out and found you, I allowed you to get kidnapped by you- know-who during the triwizard tournament where you had to watch a friend get killed and then have to face the bastard in a duel where you barley escaped alive.
And if that's not bad enough, I was in Hogsmeade when they decided to attack to castle last year and got back just in time to see five people holding you under the cruciatus curse before you again dueled with you-know- who and before I knew what was happening, you were hit with the killing curse and then disappeared for three months.
When we found you again and you started to recover, I finally thought things were starting to go the right way only to have a death eater sneak into the castle and duel you and almost kill you yet again by stabbing you.
Can't you see what a pathetic job I've done at protecting you? If I had been a decent godfather, I would have never allowed any of these things to happen and your main concern would be taking tests and your relationship with Ginny, not weather or not you are going to be captured, tortured, or killed in the near future"
As Sirius confessed these things, Harry was shocked to see that the older man had tears running unchecked down his cheeks. This man had always been so strong and invincible in his eyes. He knew Sirius had blamed himself for his parents' deaths, but he had no idea that he thought he had caused every bad thing that Harry had ever had happen in his life.
"Sirius, look at me" he demanded and when Sirius continued to look at the floor, Harry gently took his chin in his hand and forced him to look into his eyes before continuing
"Sirius, listen to me here. None of this is your fault at all. Voldemort would have found a way to take me during the tournament no matter what you tried to do. Even Dumbledore had no idea about what he had planned. As for what happened last year, everyone knows that I would have to face him again eventually and I refused to let him hurt Ginny.
You were busy trying to protect the younger students, I saw you, and before that, all of you were being restrained by death eaters, there is no way anyone could have prevented that. And as far as Shaw is concerned, I had my suspicions about him as soon as I saw him. I knew there was something not quite right about him so I decided to find out what it was so I provoked him into dueling with me so there was no way you could have stopped that either.
I underestimated him and that is how I got stabbed. Can you see now that none of this is your fault? You have been the perfect godfather since I met you, and you always try to protect me. It's not your fault that the world likes to torture me like this, you've always been there to help me out of my latest mess.
As far as I'm concerned, you're the best godfather that my parents could have chosen to lookout for me" he said honestly, and to his own surprise, he felt tears stinging his eyes, though he knew they would never fall, they never did, mainly because he had trained himself long ago never to cry, no matter what the circumstances were.
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Ginny was miserable. She was sitting in her history of magic class listening to professor Binns drone on and on about some warlocks convention that had occurred nearly two hundred years ago and try as she might, she just couldn't bring herself to pay attention to what the ghost was saying, she had much more important things on her mind, like Harry.
While she was being forced to sit through class, he was still in the hospital wing recovering. The initial injury had been healed for several days now, leaving nothing behind but a two inch long scar that just blended in with the hundreds of others that marred his once unmarked skin. The poison was what he was still trying to recover from. Even though he was out of any life threatening danger from the poisons that the blade had been coated with, the fact that they had been in his blood stream for so long were still causing him some problems. His energy levels were nearly nonexistent and he could only stay awake for short periods of time before he fell asleep from exhaustion and it seemed that he was always shivering from cold no matter how many blankets covered him.
It had been nearly four days since he had been admitted to the hospital wing, and slowly but surely, he was recovering. Today was the last day of classes before Christmas break and like all the previous years, her, Ron, and Hermione would be remaining at the castle, if only to keep Harry company. Most of the other students were going home for the first time since Voldemort's rebirth, parents finally feeling safe enough to allow their children to return for the holiday, with no threat of being attacked, while they slept, by death eaters. So far, they were the only four Gryffindor students who had signed up to remain at the castle, and they were not complaining to say the least. Ginny got a small smile on her face as this thought came to mind, but it disappeared immediately as another took its place.
No matter how bad the after effects of the poison were, they paled in comparison to what plagued her boyfriends' dreams. He could never remember what he had dreamed about when he woke up, but watching his sleeping body made her glad he couldn't remember.
They always started out the same way, his breathing would pick up and every muscle in his body would tense and his fists would become tight as he gripped the sheets below his body. He would then break out in a heavy sweat and kick the several layers of thick blankets off as he started thrashing around in the bed. He would then start moaning in pain and mumbling incoherently under his breath for several minutes before he would sit bolt upright and start gasping for breath as he starred straight ahead with a horrified expression on his face. Then he would look wildly around him until he caught the eyes of either her or Sirius, one of which was always by his side. They would ask him what had happened, but he would get a confused expression on his face for a split second before he met their eyes again and said he couldn't remember.
These nightmares were what bothered Ginny the most because come tomorrow, Harry would be returning to Gryffindor tower once all the other students left because Sirius was being sent out with Remus and Snape to question Shaw and then stand as witnesses at his trial along with the other professors a few days later. The three of them would be gone until the day before Christmas Eve, nine days from now.
Another thing that she was worried about was how Ron and Hermione would react when they found out that Harry had the dark mark on his arm. She knew he had put a lot of effort into hiding it from all of them, and she was amazed that he had been successful for so long. She had told him that it didn't matter to her that he had it, and it really didn't. But if she were completely honest with herself, it scared her. This thing that she had come to fear and hate with all of her being was tattooed as a disgusting and terrifying reminder on her boyfriends arm, to always remind them of dark times. She knew in her heart that he would have never gotten it of his own free will, but she wasn't sure if Harry's best friends would see it the same way she did. She was worried that this would be the last straw for the two of them and that once they found out, that they would turn on him for good.
"Miss. Westley, could you please answer my question?" upon hearing her name, or as close to it as the ghost ever got, Ginny's head snapped up and she was pulled from her thoughts
"Could you repeat the question please sir?" she asked tentatively, flashing a bright smile that she hoped would result in him forgiving her
"I asked you who was responsible for the Warlocks Convention of 1783 being disbanded before they voted on the issue of whether or not the breeding of certain deadly magical beasts should be forbidden" he answered in a monotonous voice
Ginny was at a lose for the answer, she had let her mind wander and due to the events of the past week had not read her assignment the night before. She was about to say she didn't know when she felt someone nudge her left side and she glanced into the face of Colin Creevey for an instant before he motioned with his eyes for her to look at the table before her where a name was written in large letters. Smiling slightly in gratitude, she answered the question.
"Ian Marthwise sir"
"Thank you Miss. Westley, now as I was saying." he continued in his dull voice and Ginny blocked him out again as she wrote a quick thank you to Colin who smiled at her as she once again lost herself in her own wandering thoughts. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N: Hey guys, this will be short because I have to get to sleep so I can go trick or treating tomorrow night and stay up all night!! Halloween is so much fun, what other day can twenty year olds dress up and act like little kids without being though of as immature? Well, thanks for all your reviews for the last chapter and please let me know what you think of this one as well, I know it doesn't have any action, it's mainly just emotional stuff and talking, but it will establish what is to come so please let me know what you think! Oh yeah, someone asked me how many chapters this was going to be and to tell you the truth, I have no idea yet, I post as I write, but rest assured that there is still more to come. Thanks for reviewing!