Chapter 27
Upon seeing the green eyes focused on his face, Ron immediately let go of Harry's shoulder as though he had been burnt and backed up several steps before he fell to his own bed, keeping his eyes locked to Harry's, neither of them blinking.
They continued to stare at one another in silence for several moments before Harry broke the tension and pulled himself to a sitting position on his bed facing Ron. He took several deep breaths with his eyes closed to calm his ragged nerves before he opened his eyes again, this time with his emotions hidden behind an invisible barrier, and spoke in a flat and emotionless tone to his best friend.
"You saw" it was not a question, but a statement, and as he said it he continued to stare into Ron's eyes with his own.
Ron, who was still too shaken up to form a coherent sentence merely nodded his head, and it was then that he realized that he was shaking physically as well as mentally.
At Ron's acknowledgement, Harry closed his eyes for another moment and took a deep, shuddering breath and tried to block out the comments that the strange voice in his mind was making. Before he had been stabbed with the poisoned blade, he had only heard the voice on a handful of occasions during the months after he had returned, but since that day, the voice was an almost constant presence in his mind, always whispering things in his ears. Also, since the duel, his nightmares had begun to change, he now remembered everything that had happened during those three terrible months with perfect clarity, but he hadn't told anyone else yet, preferring to speak to Sirius and Dumbledore when they returned first, before he told his friends or Ginny. But now, Ron had seen the most terrible memory of them all, the one thing that he had planned to keep hidden from everyone had been revealed and he was frightened that this memory would destroy his friendship with Ron, and probably Hermione as well.
'Well boy, now what are you going to do? He now knows the truth, he will turn his back on you before morning, and he will turn the rest of them against you as well, for you carry the mark of the most terrible dark lord that has ever existed. Your alienation has begun'
Ron watched in concern as Harry closed his eyes and took several deep, shuddering breaths. He sat perfectly still for what seemed like an eternity before he lifted his face again, and Ron couldn't help but notice the scar that marred his cheek and remembered with terror the sight of Malfoy creating the deep gash and the blood flowing down his cheek. Ron forced the images from his mind as he looked once again into the deadened emerald eyes of the boy sitting directly in front of him. It became apparent after several more minutes of silence that Harry wasn't going to say anything, so Ron cleared his throat and decided to break the silence himself.
"What in the bloody hell just happened?" he asked, still in a state of severe shock.
"I am pleased to inform you that you have just been the unwilling witness to one of the memories, or as I like to refer to them, nightmares from the deepest hell, of the famous boy-who-lived" answered Harry, sarcasm dripping off of every word as the voice of his enemy continued trying to tell him that his best friend was about to abandon him for good.
"So, that wasn't just a nightmare, but a memory?" asked Ron as his face became completely void of the little color it had possessed only moments before, completely oblivious to Harry's previous tone
"Yes" was all that the black haired boy said in way of answer, his green eyes starring at the other boy, hiding all thoughts and emotions as though they were made of ice.
"How?" asked Ron
"I don't know, but it had something to do with you touching me while I was in the nightmare myself. It's only happened once before, to one of the death eaters" he answered curtly, still not taking his hardened gaze from Ron's pale and slightly dazed face.
"Harry" he began, but it felt as though he had a boulder in his throat so he cleared it again and started over "Harry, I'm sorry" he said quietly and to his amazement, his words caused Harry to look completely shocked himself and for a moment his expression softened.
'Perhaps I was wrong boy, it doesn't look like he is going to turn on you, he is going to do far worse, he is going to pity you. He is going to look at you as though you are some poor, pathetic, abused little boy who couldn't even defend himself. He is going to try to protect you from everything now, not letting you out of his sight in fear that you will get hurt' said the voice, but even though Harry feared the words were true, he pushed his worries back and instead began to speak himself.
"For what?" he asked hesitantly, dreading the answer he would receive and fixing his face back into its original mask.
"Everything, for ever doubting that you were on the same side as the rest of us, for being jealous of your powers, for trying to turn everyone against you, for believing you would ever knowingly hurt anyone you cared about, but mostly for nearly believing what everyone else said when they said you were dead, that you could never have survived and trying to convince Ginny of that as well when I knew that you would never give up and that you were stronger than everyone else thought you were, everything" he said in the same quiet tones, but with an underlying of undeniable force and conviction of heart felt honesty.
After Ron's speech, Harry couldn't help but allow himself to relax slightly, especially since the voice had said nothing to counter Ron's words. Harry allowed a hesitant smile to grace his features, and was pleased to see the same on Ron's face, as well as some color on his cheeks that had been absent since Harry awoke.
"Thanks Ron, you have no idea how much that means to me" he said honestly before his brow creased in worry again as he asked his next question "how do you feel about this though?" he asked hesitantly as he rubbed his left forearm through his pajama shirt.
Ron thought carefully about his response for several moments before he spoke again, praying that Harry would believe his words "I think" he began hesitantly "that had I just seen the mark without knowing the story behind it, I would have jumped to some pretty terrible conclusions, but seeing as I found out this way, I can honestly say that you may wear the mark of you- know-who on your body, but you will never wear it in your soul. You will never become anything like him. I know that, and so do you. Deep down, I have always known that, but I'm the first one to admit that I sometimes tend to jump to the most obvious conclusions without thinking things through" he said wearily as he smiled grimly at his best friend.
Harry sighed in relief, he knew that what Ron had told him was what he thought was the truth. Ron had absolutely no idea though, about just how close to the actual truth he was, but what Harry currently doubted was weather he would be able to remain strong enough to fight off the dark suggestions that the voice in his mind was always offering. He had been terribly tempted to kill Shaw when the man had been lying on the floor before him, he had wanted to kill the man, but something deep inside his soul had forced him to stop, and that same thing was constantly contradicting everything the voice said and Harry was worried that one day that good part of his soul would give up and he would fall into the temptation of giving in to the voice and doing as it said.
He tried not to allow this deep fear to show on his own face though as he once again looked into Ron's eyes and smiled as well, further dissipating the tension that had built up.
"You're right you know, you do tend to jump to conclusions" he said as he continued smiling, trying to break down some of the tension.
"Yeah, I know. Could you answer a couple of questions for me though Harry, if you don't mind" he asked hesitantly. Harry, figuring it was best to do so now that he was wide awake rather than later, nodded his head and Ron asked his first question.
"Who else knows about the dark mark?"
"Besides you, Ginny does, and Remus, Sirius, Snape, and Dumbledore found out when they came to get me out of the hospital, but other than that, only Madame Pomfrey" he answered
"So I take it that that is what Remus was trying to tell us that night in the hospital wing then," he muttered to himself, and again Harry nodded, Ginny had told him about Ron and Hermione's reactions that night and he knew that Remus had not gotten another opportunity to speak to them about it.
"Why didn't you just curse them all or put some sort of shield up around yourself so that they couldn't come near you, obviously you were able to do wandless magic already since you banished Malfoy like you did" he said, somewhat hesitantly as though he didn't think Harry would answer him, and was shocked when he did.
"Well, once they realized I was alive, they first locked me in a small room for several days until they came up with something to so with me. Voldemort knew that I was able to do magic without a wand so he made those chains that you saw, the ones that were around my wrists, and the first time I lost consciousness from the cruciatus curse, they put them on me. Those chains somehow bound my magic and I couldn't even do the most simple spells as long as they were around my wrists, which they always were except for that one time and the time I escaped" he explained much like a professor would to a student.
"Ok, that makes sense, I only have one more question though, where was you- know-who? You mentioned him and the death eaters acted as though he were around as well, but I didn't see him" at this question, Harry paled almost immediately, so Ron hastily spoke up "If you don't want to answer me, you don't have to"
"No, it's all right." Harry said quickly as he collected his thoughts "When Voldemort hit me with the killing curse, which, by the way he did, he was once again banished from his body like the first time he tried to kill me. When I transported the death eaters to that chamber, I took his essence with us. Throughout the next weeks, he moved from one of his followers to another to stay alive, or as alive as he could be. The night they gave me the mark, he was in the body of the man who was giving Malfoy his orders. He began using to bodies of his lower ranking death eaters first so that if they managed to escape he would still have his most loyal followers alive. You see, when Voldemort inhabited someone else's body, his power was too strong and he overpowered the person. Because of this power surge, so to speak, the persons body was only able to support Voldemort for a couple of hours or a week at the most, depending on how powerful the person was, but when the body died and he moved on to another of his followers. So you see, he was there the entire time, just with a different face" he explained grimly
"So you're saying that you-know-who killed all of his own followers?" asked Ron in amazement and Harry nodded "So what happened when he ran out of death eaters?"
"I escaped" Harry said simply and at Ron's blank look, he elaborated "I'd rather not tell you how, but I will tell you this, it wasn't very pleasant. The only thing I remember after that is apparating to an alley behind the hospital and walking in. After that, the next thing I remember was waking up in the hospital and you know the rest" he finished in the same distant tone that he had spoken in the entire time he had been talking. Harry couldn't explain why, but he felt slightly relieved to be getting all of this out into the open so at least one other person knew the truth, although he was leaving many things out intentionally, not ready to tell anyone about certain events just yet, but to get even this small amount out lifted a tremendous weight off his shoulders.
"Are you going to tell Hermione?"
"I was going to see if you would mind telling her, I don't quite know how to explain something like this" Harry admitted sheepishly to his best friend
Ron smiled grimly before he agreed to tell his girlfriend in the morning. With that said, the two boys bid each other a good night and lie back down in their respective beds and fell into their own thoughts.
Harry was thinking about how he would tell all of this and parts he had left out to his godfather and headmaster in the morning, and remembering the look of terror on his best friends face. He sighed heavily, he didn't want anyone to have to see those things, but, perhaps it was for the best, Ron couldn't ignore the truth and hopefully if others found out he would back Harry up when he tried to explain.
Ron was thinking about the nightmares that would undoubtedly be plaguing his sleep for weeks to come, and he knew with certainty that no matter how bad his nightmares were, Harry's were bound to be much more terrible. Ron had only seen the events of less than an hour, and Harry had been in that chamber for three months before he escaped. There was no telling what other horrors he had been forced to endure, and would now be forced to relive in his sleep. He then contemplated just how he would go about telling Hermione what he had witnessed, and he hoped he could convince Ginny to listen to his tale as well, if to accomplish nothing other than to give his little sister a small idea about just what had happened to her boyfriend.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The next morning, Harry was awoken by the sounds of Hedwig hooting softly to him from his bed side table. As he rubbed his tired eyes in an attempt to rid them of the sand of sleep, he reached for his glasses and as he put them on, his world came into sharp focus, showing that Hedwig had a letter tied to her leg.
"Morning Hedwig" he muttered sleepily to his snowy white owl as he untied the parchment, earning himself an affectionate nip on the finger as greeting.
Settling back in his bed and pulling as many of his blankets as he could around his shivering shoulders in an attempt to ward off the permanent chill that had not relented since he woke in the hospital wing over two weeks ago. Settling for the fact that he couldn't burrow any further into the warmth of the blankets, he unrolled the parchment and smiled at reading the short note written on it.
Harry,
Happy Christmas Eve! We got back late last night from the ministry, so I decided to wait until morning to write you. When you get dressed, come on down to our rooms, and pack some cloths so we can spend the rest of the break together. We have a meeting with Albus immediately after breakfast, so get here as soon as possible. See you in a bit!
Love, Sirius
Harry couldn't help but smile even wider at his godfathers words, and he couldn't wait to spend the rest of Christmas with the closest person to a parent he had ever had. Since Harry had returned, he hadn't gone a single day without seeing his godfather, and he didn't realize until now just how much he had missed the man during the past nine days and was anxious to see him again. His anticipation over the prospect even seemed to over shadow the sense of dread that he got when he thought about the meeting with the headmaster that would follow their reunion.
Scrambling out of his bed, he hurried to his trunk and pulled clean cloths from it's depths and removed his pajamas. As he was pulling on his shirt, his eyes caught sight of the tattoo on his left arm, and his thoughts were pulled back to the events of the previous night. He believed the words Ron had said, and he knew that at least he and Ginny knew the truth, but he was worried about how Hermione would react when Ron told her. He knew that she would believe what Ron told her when he said that he didn't want the mark, but he was worried that she would see him differently once she knew what had happened to him. He was afraid that she would think he was weak and needed them to look after him. He pushed these anxieties from his mind though, when the voice began to agree with him and instead concentrated on shrinking his trunk with a wave of his hand before levitating it and dropping it into his pocket. He then went to his dresser and wrote a quick note to Ron and Hermione telling them that he was with Sirius and would see them at lunch.
As he pulled his heavy winter cloak over his shoulders he silently walked from his dormitory and descended the stairs into the common room where he left another note, but this one for Ginny, telling her to come to Sirius' rooms when she woke so she could go to meet Dumbledore with them. He wanted her by his side not only when he learned what Shaw had told them and what had happened to the auror but as he relived some of his most terrible memories as well. He then exited the tower and began the long journey to the staff quarters on the fourth floor.
When he reached the painting of Russell Patrick, an old and humorous Irish wizard that had been responsible for discovering several modern charms, his face broke into yet another smile and he quickened his pace. Upon seeing Harry, the painting began laughing and swung open without hearing the password to reveal the familiar comforts of Sirius' quarters. Before he had even taken two steps into the room though, he was enveloped in a warm hug from his smiling godfather.
"It's about time you got down here Harry, I've been waiting for ages" he exclaimed, not releasing Harry
"Sorry Sirius, but could you let me go, I can't breath" Harry gasped into the older man's robes and was relieved when he was released.
"Oops, I guess I'm just a little happy to see that you are still in one piece" he said sheepishly
"That's alright, I'm happy to see you too" admitted Harry.
"So, are you ready for some breakfast? You're still way too thin. The headmaster said we could eat here instead of going to the great hall"
"Sure, I'm starving" answered Harry as he followed Sirius into the living room and joined him at a table that was laden with just about every type of food one person could ever want.
The pair ate large amounts of the delicious food and chatted lightly about various topics, both skirting around the topic of the trial. Over an hour later, there was a knock at the door and Harry stood and opened the door to reveal Ginny and Remus on the other side, both grinning widely. Remus entered first and gave Harry a much gentler hug than Sirius had before taking a seat in front of the fire. Ginny then entered and gave Harry a hesitant smile as she took his hand in hers. He pulled her into a hug and whispered into her ear so that the two men couldn't overhear his words.
"I take it Ron spoke to you" he said
"Yes, he told Hermione and I first thing" she admitted, and Harry just nodded his head as he released her and led her over to the couch in front of the fire where he sat down and pulled her into his arms beside him. They sat there in silence for a long time, Harry just starring into the fire and Ginny thinking about the conversation she had just had with her brother and his girlfriend.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
When she had entered the common room that morning, she had seen the note Harry had left for her and was on her way out the portrait hole when Ron saw her and asked her to wait a moment while he went and woke Hermione. His serious tone caused her to obey and she turned and sat herself on one of the arm chairs and waited for a few minutes until Ron came back down followed by Hermione who looked like she was just as confused as Ginny. They both sat down in arm chairs as well and Hermione was the first to speak.
"Ron, what's going on, you look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders" she said as she gripped his hand in concern.
"Hermione, there's something I have to tell you and you're not going to like it, neither are you Gin" he said as he lowered his head and closed his eyes for a moment. Ginny and Hermione met each others' eyes before Ron spoke again.
"Last night when I went up to the dormitory, Harry was having a nightmare. I didn't even think about it before I did it, but I grabbed his shoulder to wake him up and some how I got pulled into his nightmare" he said
"What do you mean you got pulled into it?" asked Hermione, confused for one of the first times in her life
"It was like I was watching everything that was happening, I could see and hear everything, but they couldn't see me" he said, as though that explained everything
"Slow down Ron, what could you see" asked Hermione patiently
"It was Harry, surrounded by death eaters. It looked like they had been torturing him for a while already and one of them told him that they were going to mark him. When they tried to though, he sent Malfoy flying into some of the other death eaters. They were angry to say the least, so they started torturing him again, using the cruciatus curse first then Malfoy started using his wand like a blade, cutting him all over. That's when he got that one scar on his face. They were all laughing and having a great time during it all. By then he was way too weak to fight back and Malfoy burned the dark mark on his arm" he said all of this without meeting either of the girls eyes or taking a single breath, and when he did look up, he was met with Ginny's stony gaze and Hermione's tear filled one.
"Those bastards" Ginny said with anger filling her voice "It's not enough to just give him their retched mark, but they had to torture him when he tried to refuse it"
"He has the dark mark?" asked Hermione, obviously still not comprehending what her boyfriend had just told her
"Yes, that's what Remus was trying to tell us after the duel" explained Ron "they didn't want us to just see it by chance"
Hermione then looked at Ginny "So you knew?"
"Only since then. He was so ashamed of it that he never told me himself"
"Why was he ashamed of it? It's not like he asked to be marked as a death eater" protested Hermione "we are his best friends, he should have told us"
"Yeah Hermione, that's a conversation that is sure to happen 'hey guys, guess what, I have the dark mark tattooed on my arm, but don't worry, I'm not a death eater' he could have told us right after we accused him of being a dark wizard after he cursed me" said Ron sarcastically as he looked accusingly at Hermione
"Hermione, he was ashamed enough about his other injuries, hell, he couldn't even use his arm or one of his legs properly until Madame Pomfrey healed them for good when he was unconscious from that poison. There's no way he would have willingly added this to the mix. Could you imagine the reaction of the rest of the school if they found out" said Ginny forcefully
"You two are right, I guess there was no way he would tell us this willingly" she said as she sighed heavily "I just wish he didn't have to go through all of this, he's been through enough already" she muttered under her breath, but not quiet enough to keep Ginny from hearing.
"Hermione, the last thing he wants is to be treated differently because of this, treat him just like you always have" she insisted of the two older students "I have to go, Harry wants me to meet him in Sirius' rooms to find out about the trial" she said as she got to her feet and left the couple behind and set out on her way for the fourth floor.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A/N: Here you go guys! Hope you enjoyed this and just so you know, I already have the next two chapters typed, so if I get some good reviews, I'll post them soon. Thanks for reviewing the last chapter! I guess I'll warn you though, you might hate me after you read the next chapter, but I promise everything will work out eventually! I need your opinions though, I'm almost to a very good breaking point where I could stop this story and continue everything in a sequel because there will still be some very big unresolved issues. If I do that, there will be about six or seven more chapters before the end of this story and the sequel would be just as long, twenty-thirty plus chapters depending on how long they are, or I could just continue here and have the longest fanfic in the world toping sixty chapters. Regardless, this story will continue at the same pace I have been going, so let me know what you think! And please review this chapter as well.
Upon seeing the green eyes focused on his face, Ron immediately let go of Harry's shoulder as though he had been burnt and backed up several steps before he fell to his own bed, keeping his eyes locked to Harry's, neither of them blinking.
They continued to stare at one another in silence for several moments before Harry broke the tension and pulled himself to a sitting position on his bed facing Ron. He took several deep breaths with his eyes closed to calm his ragged nerves before he opened his eyes again, this time with his emotions hidden behind an invisible barrier, and spoke in a flat and emotionless tone to his best friend.
"You saw" it was not a question, but a statement, and as he said it he continued to stare into Ron's eyes with his own.
Ron, who was still too shaken up to form a coherent sentence merely nodded his head, and it was then that he realized that he was shaking physically as well as mentally.
At Ron's acknowledgement, Harry closed his eyes for another moment and took a deep, shuddering breath and tried to block out the comments that the strange voice in his mind was making. Before he had been stabbed with the poisoned blade, he had only heard the voice on a handful of occasions during the months after he had returned, but since that day, the voice was an almost constant presence in his mind, always whispering things in his ears. Also, since the duel, his nightmares had begun to change, he now remembered everything that had happened during those three terrible months with perfect clarity, but he hadn't told anyone else yet, preferring to speak to Sirius and Dumbledore when they returned first, before he told his friends or Ginny. But now, Ron had seen the most terrible memory of them all, the one thing that he had planned to keep hidden from everyone had been revealed and he was frightened that this memory would destroy his friendship with Ron, and probably Hermione as well.
'Well boy, now what are you going to do? He now knows the truth, he will turn his back on you before morning, and he will turn the rest of them against you as well, for you carry the mark of the most terrible dark lord that has ever existed. Your alienation has begun'
Ron watched in concern as Harry closed his eyes and took several deep, shuddering breaths. He sat perfectly still for what seemed like an eternity before he lifted his face again, and Ron couldn't help but notice the scar that marred his cheek and remembered with terror the sight of Malfoy creating the deep gash and the blood flowing down his cheek. Ron forced the images from his mind as he looked once again into the deadened emerald eyes of the boy sitting directly in front of him. It became apparent after several more minutes of silence that Harry wasn't going to say anything, so Ron cleared his throat and decided to break the silence himself.
"What in the bloody hell just happened?" he asked, still in a state of severe shock.
"I am pleased to inform you that you have just been the unwilling witness to one of the memories, or as I like to refer to them, nightmares from the deepest hell, of the famous boy-who-lived" answered Harry, sarcasm dripping off of every word as the voice of his enemy continued trying to tell him that his best friend was about to abandon him for good.
"So, that wasn't just a nightmare, but a memory?" asked Ron as his face became completely void of the little color it had possessed only moments before, completely oblivious to Harry's previous tone
"Yes" was all that the black haired boy said in way of answer, his green eyes starring at the other boy, hiding all thoughts and emotions as though they were made of ice.
"How?" asked Ron
"I don't know, but it had something to do with you touching me while I was in the nightmare myself. It's only happened once before, to one of the death eaters" he answered curtly, still not taking his hardened gaze from Ron's pale and slightly dazed face.
"Harry" he began, but it felt as though he had a boulder in his throat so he cleared it again and started over "Harry, I'm sorry" he said quietly and to his amazement, his words caused Harry to look completely shocked himself and for a moment his expression softened.
'Perhaps I was wrong boy, it doesn't look like he is going to turn on you, he is going to do far worse, he is going to pity you. He is going to look at you as though you are some poor, pathetic, abused little boy who couldn't even defend himself. He is going to try to protect you from everything now, not letting you out of his sight in fear that you will get hurt' said the voice, but even though Harry feared the words were true, he pushed his worries back and instead began to speak himself.
"For what?" he asked hesitantly, dreading the answer he would receive and fixing his face back into its original mask.
"Everything, for ever doubting that you were on the same side as the rest of us, for being jealous of your powers, for trying to turn everyone against you, for believing you would ever knowingly hurt anyone you cared about, but mostly for nearly believing what everyone else said when they said you were dead, that you could never have survived and trying to convince Ginny of that as well when I knew that you would never give up and that you were stronger than everyone else thought you were, everything" he said in the same quiet tones, but with an underlying of undeniable force and conviction of heart felt honesty.
After Ron's speech, Harry couldn't help but allow himself to relax slightly, especially since the voice had said nothing to counter Ron's words. Harry allowed a hesitant smile to grace his features, and was pleased to see the same on Ron's face, as well as some color on his cheeks that had been absent since Harry awoke.
"Thanks Ron, you have no idea how much that means to me" he said honestly before his brow creased in worry again as he asked his next question "how do you feel about this though?" he asked hesitantly as he rubbed his left forearm through his pajama shirt.
Ron thought carefully about his response for several moments before he spoke again, praying that Harry would believe his words "I think" he began hesitantly "that had I just seen the mark without knowing the story behind it, I would have jumped to some pretty terrible conclusions, but seeing as I found out this way, I can honestly say that you may wear the mark of you- know-who on your body, but you will never wear it in your soul. You will never become anything like him. I know that, and so do you. Deep down, I have always known that, but I'm the first one to admit that I sometimes tend to jump to the most obvious conclusions without thinking things through" he said wearily as he smiled grimly at his best friend.
Harry sighed in relief, he knew that what Ron had told him was what he thought was the truth. Ron had absolutely no idea though, about just how close to the actual truth he was, but what Harry currently doubted was weather he would be able to remain strong enough to fight off the dark suggestions that the voice in his mind was always offering. He had been terribly tempted to kill Shaw when the man had been lying on the floor before him, he had wanted to kill the man, but something deep inside his soul had forced him to stop, and that same thing was constantly contradicting everything the voice said and Harry was worried that one day that good part of his soul would give up and he would fall into the temptation of giving in to the voice and doing as it said.
He tried not to allow this deep fear to show on his own face though as he once again looked into Ron's eyes and smiled as well, further dissipating the tension that had built up.
"You're right you know, you do tend to jump to conclusions" he said as he continued smiling, trying to break down some of the tension.
"Yeah, I know. Could you answer a couple of questions for me though Harry, if you don't mind" he asked hesitantly. Harry, figuring it was best to do so now that he was wide awake rather than later, nodded his head and Ron asked his first question.
"Who else knows about the dark mark?"
"Besides you, Ginny does, and Remus, Sirius, Snape, and Dumbledore found out when they came to get me out of the hospital, but other than that, only Madame Pomfrey" he answered
"So I take it that that is what Remus was trying to tell us that night in the hospital wing then," he muttered to himself, and again Harry nodded, Ginny had told him about Ron and Hermione's reactions that night and he knew that Remus had not gotten another opportunity to speak to them about it.
"Why didn't you just curse them all or put some sort of shield up around yourself so that they couldn't come near you, obviously you were able to do wandless magic already since you banished Malfoy like you did" he said, somewhat hesitantly as though he didn't think Harry would answer him, and was shocked when he did.
"Well, once they realized I was alive, they first locked me in a small room for several days until they came up with something to so with me. Voldemort knew that I was able to do magic without a wand so he made those chains that you saw, the ones that were around my wrists, and the first time I lost consciousness from the cruciatus curse, they put them on me. Those chains somehow bound my magic and I couldn't even do the most simple spells as long as they were around my wrists, which they always were except for that one time and the time I escaped" he explained much like a professor would to a student.
"Ok, that makes sense, I only have one more question though, where was you- know-who? You mentioned him and the death eaters acted as though he were around as well, but I didn't see him" at this question, Harry paled almost immediately, so Ron hastily spoke up "If you don't want to answer me, you don't have to"
"No, it's all right." Harry said quickly as he collected his thoughts "When Voldemort hit me with the killing curse, which, by the way he did, he was once again banished from his body like the first time he tried to kill me. When I transported the death eaters to that chamber, I took his essence with us. Throughout the next weeks, he moved from one of his followers to another to stay alive, or as alive as he could be. The night they gave me the mark, he was in the body of the man who was giving Malfoy his orders. He began using to bodies of his lower ranking death eaters first so that if they managed to escape he would still have his most loyal followers alive. You see, when Voldemort inhabited someone else's body, his power was too strong and he overpowered the person. Because of this power surge, so to speak, the persons body was only able to support Voldemort for a couple of hours or a week at the most, depending on how powerful the person was, but when the body died and he moved on to another of his followers. So you see, he was there the entire time, just with a different face" he explained grimly
"So you're saying that you-know-who killed all of his own followers?" asked Ron in amazement and Harry nodded "So what happened when he ran out of death eaters?"
"I escaped" Harry said simply and at Ron's blank look, he elaborated "I'd rather not tell you how, but I will tell you this, it wasn't very pleasant. The only thing I remember after that is apparating to an alley behind the hospital and walking in. After that, the next thing I remember was waking up in the hospital and you know the rest" he finished in the same distant tone that he had spoken in the entire time he had been talking. Harry couldn't explain why, but he felt slightly relieved to be getting all of this out into the open so at least one other person knew the truth, although he was leaving many things out intentionally, not ready to tell anyone about certain events just yet, but to get even this small amount out lifted a tremendous weight off his shoulders.
"Are you going to tell Hermione?"
"I was going to see if you would mind telling her, I don't quite know how to explain something like this" Harry admitted sheepishly to his best friend
Ron smiled grimly before he agreed to tell his girlfriend in the morning. With that said, the two boys bid each other a good night and lie back down in their respective beds and fell into their own thoughts.
Harry was thinking about how he would tell all of this and parts he had left out to his godfather and headmaster in the morning, and remembering the look of terror on his best friends face. He sighed heavily, he didn't want anyone to have to see those things, but, perhaps it was for the best, Ron couldn't ignore the truth and hopefully if others found out he would back Harry up when he tried to explain.
Ron was thinking about the nightmares that would undoubtedly be plaguing his sleep for weeks to come, and he knew with certainty that no matter how bad his nightmares were, Harry's were bound to be much more terrible. Ron had only seen the events of less than an hour, and Harry had been in that chamber for three months before he escaped. There was no telling what other horrors he had been forced to endure, and would now be forced to relive in his sleep. He then contemplated just how he would go about telling Hermione what he had witnessed, and he hoped he could convince Ginny to listen to his tale as well, if to accomplish nothing other than to give his little sister a small idea about just what had happened to her boyfriend.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The next morning, Harry was awoken by the sounds of Hedwig hooting softly to him from his bed side table. As he rubbed his tired eyes in an attempt to rid them of the sand of sleep, he reached for his glasses and as he put them on, his world came into sharp focus, showing that Hedwig had a letter tied to her leg.
"Morning Hedwig" he muttered sleepily to his snowy white owl as he untied the parchment, earning himself an affectionate nip on the finger as greeting.
Settling back in his bed and pulling as many of his blankets as he could around his shivering shoulders in an attempt to ward off the permanent chill that had not relented since he woke in the hospital wing over two weeks ago. Settling for the fact that he couldn't burrow any further into the warmth of the blankets, he unrolled the parchment and smiled at reading the short note written on it.
Harry,
Happy Christmas Eve! We got back late last night from the ministry, so I decided to wait until morning to write you. When you get dressed, come on down to our rooms, and pack some cloths so we can spend the rest of the break together. We have a meeting with Albus immediately after breakfast, so get here as soon as possible. See you in a bit!
Love, Sirius
Harry couldn't help but smile even wider at his godfathers words, and he couldn't wait to spend the rest of Christmas with the closest person to a parent he had ever had. Since Harry had returned, he hadn't gone a single day without seeing his godfather, and he didn't realize until now just how much he had missed the man during the past nine days and was anxious to see him again. His anticipation over the prospect even seemed to over shadow the sense of dread that he got when he thought about the meeting with the headmaster that would follow their reunion.
Scrambling out of his bed, he hurried to his trunk and pulled clean cloths from it's depths and removed his pajamas. As he was pulling on his shirt, his eyes caught sight of the tattoo on his left arm, and his thoughts were pulled back to the events of the previous night. He believed the words Ron had said, and he knew that at least he and Ginny knew the truth, but he was worried about how Hermione would react when Ron told her. He knew that she would believe what Ron told her when he said that he didn't want the mark, but he was worried that she would see him differently once she knew what had happened to him. He was afraid that she would think he was weak and needed them to look after him. He pushed these anxieties from his mind though, when the voice began to agree with him and instead concentrated on shrinking his trunk with a wave of his hand before levitating it and dropping it into his pocket. He then went to his dresser and wrote a quick note to Ron and Hermione telling them that he was with Sirius and would see them at lunch.
As he pulled his heavy winter cloak over his shoulders he silently walked from his dormitory and descended the stairs into the common room where he left another note, but this one for Ginny, telling her to come to Sirius' rooms when she woke so she could go to meet Dumbledore with them. He wanted her by his side not only when he learned what Shaw had told them and what had happened to the auror but as he relived some of his most terrible memories as well. He then exited the tower and began the long journey to the staff quarters on the fourth floor.
When he reached the painting of Russell Patrick, an old and humorous Irish wizard that had been responsible for discovering several modern charms, his face broke into yet another smile and he quickened his pace. Upon seeing Harry, the painting began laughing and swung open without hearing the password to reveal the familiar comforts of Sirius' quarters. Before he had even taken two steps into the room though, he was enveloped in a warm hug from his smiling godfather.
"It's about time you got down here Harry, I've been waiting for ages" he exclaimed, not releasing Harry
"Sorry Sirius, but could you let me go, I can't breath" Harry gasped into the older man's robes and was relieved when he was released.
"Oops, I guess I'm just a little happy to see that you are still in one piece" he said sheepishly
"That's alright, I'm happy to see you too" admitted Harry.
"So, are you ready for some breakfast? You're still way too thin. The headmaster said we could eat here instead of going to the great hall"
"Sure, I'm starving" answered Harry as he followed Sirius into the living room and joined him at a table that was laden with just about every type of food one person could ever want.
The pair ate large amounts of the delicious food and chatted lightly about various topics, both skirting around the topic of the trial. Over an hour later, there was a knock at the door and Harry stood and opened the door to reveal Ginny and Remus on the other side, both grinning widely. Remus entered first and gave Harry a much gentler hug than Sirius had before taking a seat in front of the fire. Ginny then entered and gave Harry a hesitant smile as she took his hand in hers. He pulled her into a hug and whispered into her ear so that the two men couldn't overhear his words.
"I take it Ron spoke to you" he said
"Yes, he told Hermione and I first thing" she admitted, and Harry just nodded his head as he released her and led her over to the couch in front of the fire where he sat down and pulled her into his arms beside him. They sat there in silence for a long time, Harry just starring into the fire and Ginny thinking about the conversation she had just had with her brother and his girlfriend.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
When she had entered the common room that morning, she had seen the note Harry had left for her and was on her way out the portrait hole when Ron saw her and asked her to wait a moment while he went and woke Hermione. His serious tone caused her to obey and she turned and sat herself on one of the arm chairs and waited for a few minutes until Ron came back down followed by Hermione who looked like she was just as confused as Ginny. They both sat down in arm chairs as well and Hermione was the first to speak.
"Ron, what's going on, you look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders" she said as she gripped his hand in concern.
"Hermione, there's something I have to tell you and you're not going to like it, neither are you Gin" he said as he lowered his head and closed his eyes for a moment. Ginny and Hermione met each others' eyes before Ron spoke again.
"Last night when I went up to the dormitory, Harry was having a nightmare. I didn't even think about it before I did it, but I grabbed his shoulder to wake him up and some how I got pulled into his nightmare" he said
"What do you mean you got pulled into it?" asked Hermione, confused for one of the first times in her life
"It was like I was watching everything that was happening, I could see and hear everything, but they couldn't see me" he said, as though that explained everything
"Slow down Ron, what could you see" asked Hermione patiently
"It was Harry, surrounded by death eaters. It looked like they had been torturing him for a while already and one of them told him that they were going to mark him. When they tried to though, he sent Malfoy flying into some of the other death eaters. They were angry to say the least, so they started torturing him again, using the cruciatus curse first then Malfoy started using his wand like a blade, cutting him all over. That's when he got that one scar on his face. They were all laughing and having a great time during it all. By then he was way too weak to fight back and Malfoy burned the dark mark on his arm" he said all of this without meeting either of the girls eyes or taking a single breath, and when he did look up, he was met with Ginny's stony gaze and Hermione's tear filled one.
"Those bastards" Ginny said with anger filling her voice "It's not enough to just give him their retched mark, but they had to torture him when he tried to refuse it"
"He has the dark mark?" asked Hermione, obviously still not comprehending what her boyfriend had just told her
"Yes, that's what Remus was trying to tell us after the duel" explained Ron "they didn't want us to just see it by chance"
Hermione then looked at Ginny "So you knew?"
"Only since then. He was so ashamed of it that he never told me himself"
"Why was he ashamed of it? It's not like he asked to be marked as a death eater" protested Hermione "we are his best friends, he should have told us"
"Yeah Hermione, that's a conversation that is sure to happen 'hey guys, guess what, I have the dark mark tattooed on my arm, but don't worry, I'm not a death eater' he could have told us right after we accused him of being a dark wizard after he cursed me" said Ron sarcastically as he looked accusingly at Hermione
"Hermione, he was ashamed enough about his other injuries, hell, he couldn't even use his arm or one of his legs properly until Madame Pomfrey healed them for good when he was unconscious from that poison. There's no way he would have willingly added this to the mix. Could you imagine the reaction of the rest of the school if they found out" said Ginny forcefully
"You two are right, I guess there was no way he would tell us this willingly" she said as she sighed heavily "I just wish he didn't have to go through all of this, he's been through enough already" she muttered under her breath, but not quiet enough to keep Ginny from hearing.
"Hermione, the last thing he wants is to be treated differently because of this, treat him just like you always have" she insisted of the two older students "I have to go, Harry wants me to meet him in Sirius' rooms to find out about the trial" she said as she got to her feet and left the couple behind and set out on her way for the fourth floor.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A/N: Here you go guys! Hope you enjoyed this and just so you know, I already have the next two chapters typed, so if I get some good reviews, I'll post them soon. Thanks for reviewing the last chapter! I guess I'll warn you though, you might hate me after you read the next chapter, but I promise everything will work out eventually! I need your opinions though, I'm almost to a very good breaking point where I could stop this story and continue everything in a sequel because there will still be some very big unresolved issues. If I do that, there will be about six or seven more chapters before the end of this story and the sequel would be just as long, twenty-thirty plus chapters depending on how long they are, or I could just continue here and have the longest fanfic in the world toping sixty chapters. Regardless, this story will continue at the same pace I have been going, so let me know what you think! And please review this chapter as well.