Jade, Wine, and Turk training
By Kimetara
Multi-part
Disclaimer: Same as always... Final Fantasy VII belongs to Squaresoft.
Chapter 15: Reno's release
Jason stretched. "Well, it's `bout time somebody go relieve Matt of his guard duty," he remarked casually, flicking his gaze to the fiery Turk. "Why don't you do it?"
Reno blinked. "Eh? What?"
"You go watch the girl for a couple hours," Jason repeated. "The door to the guard room's right over there," he motioned lazily to a door in the wall.
"Why me?"
"Because she's less likely to freak if she's with somebody she knows," Jason replied easily. "The key's on the door handle."
Reno was about to retort, simply because he was feeling contrary, when he noticed Jason's hand had inched just slightly toward his sword. "Fine," he declared smoothly, not allowing any of his perturbness to show. Turks had a reputation to keep, after all.
Reno snatched the key and opened the door. "Hey. Third Class, I'm switching with you, so move it," he snapped.
Matt started again, his eyes widening. *Oh crap, it's a Turk!* "Yeah, sure, here you go," he muttered hastily, before almost running out of the room.
Reno watched him go, his face slightly troubled. Sure, at first the whole, "oh my gosh, it's a TURK!" thing was cool, but it had gotten old long ago. True, he liked seeing it in Josh, but that was only because Josh was an asshole anyway...
*A dead asshole,* he corrected. *Hey look, Tifa's door is open...wonder what she's doing...* With that thought in mind, Reno entered Tifa's compartment.
To his surprise, he found her fast asleep on the fold-out bed. Reno slowly walked and stood over her, trying to decide whether he should wake her up.
Eventually, he decided against it, and sat cross-legged on the floor a little ways away from the bed. *I wonder...should I tell Tifa about what's going on?* The memory of Jason's sword, Isa's shuriken, and Simone's gun flashed through his mind. *Better not. She'd wind up doing something drastic, and that definitely wouldn't be good for me.* Reno smirked mockingly. *Guess I really am that cold-blooded bastard, huh?*
That was fine. He'd always been like that; he didn't care. He didn't care, not when he led a gang to kill for money. He didn't care, not when he'd kidnapped and murdered for a living. He didn't care when he almost killed the Ancient, he didn't care when dropped Corneo over the cliff (truth be told, he actually enjoyed that one), he didn't care when he released the plate on Sector Seven...
He didn't care, because caring always ended up hurting.
And as for the things he did care about, well look what happened to them? Tseng, dead. Shinra, destroyed. Rude...
*Rude's dead too, you moron,* Reno thought viciously. He shouldn't have ever attached himself to anything...they all ended up being taken away.
Movement from the bed caught Reno's eye. Breaking away from his thoughts, Reno stood, just as Tifa sat up. She simply sat there, blinking for a moment, before turning to look around the room.
"Reno?" Tifa slid off the bed to walk toward him.
"Hey Tifa," Reno grinned.
Tifa stopped. There was something...not quite right, in the way Reno had smiled at her. "...is something wrong?"
*Something wrong? Yeah, you and I are gonna be used as science experiments, I'm in danger of getting a part of me chopped off every second, and my best friend, my only friend's dead. Yeah, you could say there's something wrong...* "Huh? No, course not babe. This is Reno you're talking to."
Tifa cocked her head, locking her eyes with Reno's. And for once, he didn't care that he enjoyed having her eyes on his.
Tifa frowned slightly. Usually, she was very empathetic, and had no problem telling what others were feeling, but Reno's eyes... *They're so hard. And cold,* she mused. *Just like jade...*
Tifa's eyes, however, were as translucent as the wine they were colored after. Reno could see her confusion, her hesitant probing, her wariness and mistrust...
Finally, Tifa looked away, breaking the connection they had shared for what could have been hours, or merely seconds. Suddenly shaky, Tifa drew in a deep breath. "Reno..."
"Yeah?" *Stupid, stupid, you shouldn't have replied...*
Tifa thought. Although she couldn't see much, there was a definite pain his eyes held, an ache in his soul that hadn't yet healed...one that Tifa was well acquainted with. One that touched past her mistrust, that gave her a yearning to soothe.
She racked her brain for something that could have caused Reno, the unfeeling Turk, to be hurt. "...what happened to Rude?"
Reno's eyes just barely widened. "Nothing," he answered harshly, hating himself for saying it. Something did happen, dammit, Rude died, that's what.
"Reno..." Tifa walked closer to him. Reno found himself unable to move away. Gently, the brunette laid a hand on the Turk's chest. "What happened, Reno?"
For a moment, Reno stood stock still, a battle waging in his mind. He had never, never opened to anybody besides Rude...but God, he needed this release. He needed to let this out, he needed to have somebody there to listen to his pain, he needed...her.
He needed her, because there was nobody else left. Nobody else that would listen to the sorrows of a Turk. Nobody else...
*GODDAMMIT, why does it have to be her?! She's going to end up a science experiment; why does it have to be her?!* Reno railed silently. He was going to use her then throw her to the dogs...
But what did he care? He was a Turk, right? It shouldn't matter to him...
"God's an ass, did you know that?" he spoke abruptly.
Tifa smiled slightly. "I had a suspicion."
Reno felt a very strong urge to break something. *...don't be so nice, Tifa...*
Tifa waited patiently, her eyes once more locked with Reno's, that small smile still on her face. Carefully, Tifa grasped Reno's wrist and pulled him over to sit on the bed. Once there, she placed her hand lightly on top of Reno's, and resumed her waiting.
Reno gave in. "Rude killed himself a year ago," he began, his tone terse. "Jumped off a cruise ship going from Junon to Costa del Sol."
Tifa bit her lip. "...you're sure?" she asked tentatively.
"Of course I'm sure," Reno hissed. "Do you think I'd say it if I wasn't sure?"
"But..." Tifa faltered for a moment, "why would he do that?"
"Why?" The Turk barked a harsh laugh, and Tifa flinched. "Why indeed..." Reno mused, the memory of his last talk with his friend echoing through his mind...
*****
"Hey Rude." Reno leaned casually on the railing of the cruise ship, the Desert Sunset. The night air whipped his crimson locks around his face as he searched the ship before him for his comrade.
Rude stepped out of the shadows and nodded to Reno, before coming to rest his hands on the railing as well. "Reno."
"Still as vocal as ever, I see," Reno smirked. "So, why'd you invite me on this cruise anyway?"
"...would you reconsider joining Shinra?" Rude asked quietly.
Reno laughed. "No can do. I'm not going back to there."
"I see..."
"Why?" Reno inquired curiously.
"..."
Reno shrugged and waited. He knew Rude would say what he wanted to say, eventually.
"...Elena's dating Reeve."
"So I've heard," Reno carelessly brushed a piece of lint from his jacket. "She always did like men in charge."
"..."
"What? It bothers you?" Reno turned to look at his silent friend.
"..."
"Oh come on, Rude. It's not the end of the world." Reno grinned. "Look, you got over Tifa just fine."
"...did I?" Rude mused. "Or did I only replace her...?"
"Well then, replace Elena," Reno suggested.
"With who?"
"..." The redhead didn't have an answer for that.
"...everybody hates us, Reno."
"Huh?"
The stoic Turk removed his glasses – something Reno had only seen him do before sleeping. Reno immediately became serious. "What do you mean?"
"Everybody hates the Turks," Rude repeated softly, his amber eyes both seeing and unseeing. "We've done so much...nobody can forgive us." Rude's voice was almost childlike as he played lovingly with his sunglasses.
"We did what we had to do," Reno insisted.
"Maybe." Rude hadn't removed his gaze from the dark, rushing water beneath him. "But why live in a world where you're hated by everybody?" he asked, more to himself than to Reno.
Reno shrugged. "`Cause it's just a screwed up world, I guess."
"..." Rude paused. "Are you sure you won't come back to Shinra with me?"
Reno shook his head. "Sorry."
"..."
Reno was beginning to feel uncomfortable. Guilt. He wasn't used to feeling guilt, and he most certainly didn't like it. "Look man, I'll see you later, alright?"
"..." Rude nodded, slowly. And Reno walked away.
*****
"That's why," Reno breathed, his breath lightly stirring a strand of Tifa's hair. Sometime during his story-telling, Tifa had scooted closer to him, in an attempt to see his expression as he spoke.
Tifa looked down at her hand, which was softly rubbing Reno's own. "Yeah...it must be hard, living in a world that hates you..."
"No!" Reno snatched his hand away from her, only to clamp it down hard on the female's shoulders. Tifa started, surprised by Reno's outburst. "It wasn't that!" he spoke harshly. "It's because of me. I walked away, Tifa. He asked me to go back with him to Shinra, because he needed somebody who didn't hate him, and I refused. It was my fault," he finished, barely refraining from shaking her. Reno stared into her eyes, searching, searching for her understanding, for her response.
A part of him hoped she would hate him. It would be easier then, to give her to Hojo without a second thought, to just let him do what he liked with her...
But a far greater part needed reassurance. Needed comfort. And that was the part Tifa answered.
"You didn't know, Reno." Tifa laid her hands on top of Reno's, and squeezed gently. "You can't blame yourself for Rude's death..."
"But...if I..." Reno stumbled. He wasn't used to this, wasn't used to regrets, wasn't used to outbursts, wasn't used to the million and more emotions jumbled throughout his body. "If I had gone with him..."
Tifa thought. "It may not have made a difference," she finally said at last.
"But it might have."
She nodded. There was no use denying the truth. "It might have. But, Reno...you are not responsible for Rude's death. It was his decision," she spoke sternly.
"I helped to cause that decision," Reno countered, his voice rough.
"You and the rest of the world." Tifa sighed. "You are not more responsible than any of us."
"I was his best friend. I was supposed to be there for him," the Turk protested.
"How could you expect yourself to be there for a problem you didn't know?"
Reno's hands abruptly dropped from Tifa's shoulders. He hung his head. "I should have known...he practically spelled it out for me. 'Why live in a world where you're hated by everybody' and I couldn't even see it," he degraded himself, his voice hard.
Impulsively, Tifa wrapped her arms around Reno's neck and hugged him. "You're not a mind reader, Reno. You couldn't have known unless he told you," she murmured, stroking up and down Reno's back.
For a moment, Reno stiffened. Then hastily, almost as if he was afraid she'd fade away, he crushed Tifa against him, burying his face in her long, fragrant hair. He hugged Tifa hard, desperate for any consolation.
In the back of his mind, something was nagging. Something saying he was being stupid, get away from Tifa, what on earth is wrong with him? But it was pushed away by the flood of other emotions coursing through him, by grief and gratitude, self-anger and reassurance, by simply the release of his pain. And so he held her tightly...for the first time, ignoring Turk training.
AN: Thank you to WrexSoul for beta reading this chapter. ^_^ R&R!