DISCLAIMER!!! OF COURSE WEISS doesn't belong to me so no sueing...this is
of course...FANFICTION.NET which means pretty much everything is based off
something so you should know without me saying.
WARNING: This contains boy boy relationships...its a shounen ai fic, no lemons no limes none of that kind of stuff...its just kinda angsty fluff combo confession of love kinda stuff. If you hate boy boy relationships then don't read it and if you leave mean comments be forewarned...FLAMERS MAKE ME LAUGH!
FINALLY THE DEDICATION!!! READ THE DEDICATION YOU MUST!----this is dedicated to NICK! He's my way cool friend and fellow lover of yaoi, slash, shounen ai, and the such. HAPPY BIRTHDAY N ICK!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~YOHJI~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The lake shore is quiet today...like most times..a haven. Its my haven. Sure other people occassionally spill onto my territory and borrow it for a while...but its still mine. I watch a strand of dusty blonde curly hair fly in front of my face, and I don't bother to brush it aside. Today I'm someone the others don't know exists. I'm still Yohji, but I'm the Yohji I don't let anyone see. I'm only this person in my haven, in silence, in solitude.
A row of cherry trees marks the edge of the lake, allowing their delicate pink blossoms to gently float into the rippling waters. The cherry blossoms mark the beginning of spring, of new life. How nostalgic. How fucking stereotypical. How the hell can I think of new life? I can never change who I've become. This lake, these trees, they mark my getaway, but in a week, when the last flower falls, the haven will leave me bare and empty inside. Then wehere will I run? Where will I turn? What the hell kind of question is that? I'd become the Yohji they all know...sleeping with a different girl every night and leaving her without a care in the world every morning. God I'm such a fucking asshole. I wonder how many hearts I've broken, how many kids I have. I've never loved any of them, not once. I inhale deeply the ciggarrette I'm holding pursed between my lips, and allow the sweet smoke to enter my lungs. My thoughts continue to wander. Why the hell did I sleep with all those girls? Did a warm body really give me the comfort I needed to get away from harsh reality...or was it something else...to deny the truth... "Yohji?" I look up startled.
-----------------------------------OMI-------------------------------------- ---
I left the house, determined to get unpleasant thoughts off my mind. Ken waslounging around the house, Aya was at the hospital visiting his sister...and Yohji... Needless to say he didn't say where he was going but I knew all too well. He only looked that classy when he was going to find some new woman to toy with. I noticed, of course I had noticed. He was dressed to kill...IU curse myself, I need to stop thinkinb about him. Thats why I wanted to take this walk right? To clear my thoughts. I head to the lake, not knowing why exactly. The cherry blossoms are in full bloom and lights dart up from the ground giving them a dream like glow in the crisp evening air. I always love the blossoms. Its true, the most beautiful moments are short lived, and then fade from existane. Cherry blossoms are my reminder, their lives spanning the course of a week.
I breath deeply, wishing to inhale the faint sweet smell of the blossoms, but my nostrils are greeted with something much more unexpected. Its a familliar scent, but I don't want to follow it. Its the arouma of Yohji, probably charming some girl on the lake shore. I try to ignore it. I came here to get away from him, not to find him screwing some clueless girl. Heh, why the hell do I care what he does with those women? Why am I so jealous. Its not like I like him...right? I try to convince my mind but it is not easily swayed. I know how I feel about Yohji, I just don't want to admit it. The wind blows again, the scent somewhat stronger. I'm surprised to see him sitting on some rocks near the water, smoking...alone. I approach him slowly, something looks wrong about this picture. "Yohji?"...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~YOHJI~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Yohji?" I nearly jumped out of my skin. Who had discovered my haven where I was naked and exposed? I quickly threw on my mask and inhaled my cigarrette deeply, once again until there was nothing left. I flicked it aside and listened. "Yohji," the voice pleaded. This time I recognized it. "Are you okay?" I turne to face worried blue eyes.
"I'm fine. What are you doing out so late?" His eyes glisten slightly in the dim lights projected onto the trees.
"Just decided to go for a walk I guess. I wanted ot go see the cherry blossoms before they all disappearred." He smiles but I can tell its just as fake as my own.
"What a coincidence, I couldn't get a date tonight so I came here for the same thing." I smiled even more, my killer seductive smile. God how could I be using that on poor sweet innocent Omi? He had seen his share of troubles, but wan't nearly as tainted as I was. At least he didn't notice it, but my instictive lonely body and mind kept at it. Like an overplayed record the words just came. "Want to sit?" I motioned for him to sit next to me. What the fuck was I doing? I didn't have a date for one night and now I was plotting the seduction of the youngest member of Weiss. He obeyed though. I could feel his waqrmth envelop my right side as he placed himself next to me...so close that I could taste the scent of his vanilla shampoo. "The satars are beautiful aren't they...not often we can acvtualy see them is it? " Omi smiled, a real one this time.
"You're right." He leans back into the grass bordering the rocky shore and starts to hum. Dammit...why do I keep staring at him?
------------------------------------------------OMI------------------------- ----------------------------
I swallowed hard...do I want to sit? Of course I want to sit...but how could the blonde haired playboy have any idea what sitting nextto him does to me. He's being a bit of a flirt...but thats just Yohji. Its not like he means anything by it...right? I reassure myself that look in his eyes means nothing and I plop down beside him.
"The stars are beautiful aren't they? Not often we can actually see them is it?"
I smile, I don't know why I smile...I just do. "You're right." I sight and take my eyes off him, leaning back into the grass...I can't bear to look at him anymore...I might do something rash and stupid. I content myself with humming a song. I come here to get away from him. Must not think about Yohji, must not think about Yohji...
"What song is that?"
"I dounno," my humming pauses, as I respond. "Just humming notes." I close my eyes and continue to content myself with the unfamilliar tune. The cool breeze carresses my body and I shudder slightly. Its still a little cold; I should have brought a coat. Oh well, too late now. I'm surprised when I feel a warm coat being placed on me. I open my eyes and see Yohji gazing down upon me. "Thank you." Yeah, this is why I love him, even though I know I can never have him. He's a playboy, but inside he is kind and I can see in his eyes he is lonely. Its funny what the night does, he said once. You see people in a differnet light. I think he was right. The breeze toyed with his hair, showering him with tiny glowing blossoms. The night made him look beautiful. It made him look like a lonely little boy longing for companionship.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~YOHJI~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I stare down at Omi, not quite understanding why I have the sudden urge to make him mine like so many discareded women. Something is different though. Part of me wants the hollow comfort of a lover, but part of me wont be satisfied if it is anyone but him. I'm glad he's not looking at me as I foolishly lick my lips seductively. His song continues, infestively embedding my mind with the image of a night club. Why a night club? The sound is entirely different. Its a soft, sweet, innocent sound. The image of the club and all the women I'd destroyed faded from my mind. They were replaced by the real image of Omi, resting under the starlit canopy that was raining a soft pale blue glow down upon his face. Too bad the incandessant lighting nearly drown it out in an attempt to destry its effect. Its funny, I've never really looked at him like this before. I mean...I've looked at him before and wondered what it would be like to have him, but back then it was just a mild curiosity. Now it is an unfathomable desire to...I don't know, love him. You heard me right, not make love to him, to actually love him. Its crazy, after years of throwing myself at what seems like thousands of girls, only now do I realize how much I hate my wreckless lifestyle. "Are you okay Yohji-kun?" Omi's voice draws me in. His large eyes, the colour of the heavens, are gripping me contemplatively. "You look like you are somewhere else."
"I'm fine, just thinking a little too much." Blue eyes probed me. I was drowining in thoughts of him and couldn't escape. Why the hell did I ask him to sit down? I'm sure I will regret this in the end.
"What are you thinking about?" I feel my face flush. God its been a long time since I've blushed. Shit, he noticed.
----------------------------------------------OMI--------------------------- -----------------------------
"What are you thinking about?" Something happens that I had never thought possible...Yohji blushes. What is he thinking about? Probably some girl from his past. If he asked me the same question I would have ran. My thoughts had been on Yohji all night. Did he honestly think I didn't notice the way he licked his lips? He's going crazy because he has to be alone tonight. I feel kind of sorry for him. God even if I know he'll dump me tomorrow like everyone else, part of me longs for his touch right now so much that I can easily sacrafice our friendship for one night of happiness. That would just be me taking advantage of him though. I surpress my desires and change the subject. "Its kind of sad the trees will be bare soon." I sigh and sit up, wrapping myself tighter in Yohji's coat. "They are so beautiful, I hate to see them die."
"Are you still cold?" I try to hide it but my shivering is far too apparrent. Yohji stares down at me and the unexpcected happens next. Warm arms wrap around me, gripping me tightly. I blush furiously, trying not to move...too petrified to move. God I'm scared right now and I don't even know why. I think its because i'm afraid that this is just Yohji the flirt. This doesn't mean anything and this will never mean anything. It feels so good though, his warmth. Its something I've only dreamt about. Its only his kindness though. The grip tightens. "Its okay, I'll keep you warm." What the hell is he doing. I think he can feel how tense I have become...he backs away. "God Omi...I'm...I'm sorry..." He turns away from me. "I don't know what came over me."
"Yohji...since when do you go for guys?" I ask, half jokingly...I regret it. He hangs his head lower and begins to cry. Yohji is...crying. That never happens...what did I do?
"Don't look at me Omi...I'm just a worthless pile of shit. God I'm so desperate I'd even destroy you." I don't quite know what he's talking about but I do know I want to comfort him. He doesn't see the beautiful person I see...the person I love. He hates himself. I bite my lip and brace myself for what I'm about to do.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~YOHJI~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~
I don't know why I'm hugging him. Well hell of course I know. Its because of how much I want him...how much I've wanted him for so long. Even when I was with all those girls he was the only thing I really wanted. I feel him stiffen in my arms. GOD he knows. He knows and he is terrified. Omi is going to hate me now. I release him and turn away. I don't want him to see me like this. "God Omi...I'm...I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."
"Yohji...since when did you go for guys?" My head hurts. He's just joking but he knows. I've destroyed everything. I hate to do cry, but I feel liquid saturate my face. There is nothing I can do about it...the tears are uncontrollable. Dammit...dammit dammit damit. Don't look at me like this. Don't see me when I'm bare and naked. Don't see me without my mask.
"Don't look at me Omi...I'm just a worthless pile of shit. God I'm so desperate I'd even destroy you." It was true...I couldn't hide my emotions with girl tonight. That was the real reason I was such a playboy. It was another haven. A way to get away from the truth. A place to release myself that I might not destroy my friendship with Omi. An arm gently wraps around me from behind...and then another. A body presses against my back and warm breath trails into my ear followed by a soft whisper.
"Its okay to cry Yohji, but you aren't worthless. No matter what you do you matter to someone."
"Do I matter to you?" I manage to cough out quietly through the tears. Am I about to confess? God how can I be dumb enough to confess to someone who can never love a piece of shit like me. I fight the urge and pretend to smile. "Thank you Omi." I try to push myself up to stand, but Omi holds me down.
"Yohji-kun..." I turn to him wondering what he has to say...
-------------------------------------------------------OMI------------------ ------------------------------------------
"Yohji-kun..." He looks at me. I know I'm taking the final plunge. There is no turning back after this but I can't stand to see him like this anymore. I'm not a woman, he'll probably hate me in the morning, but I can't take it. I reach around him and place a long deep unexpected kiss upon his lips. He stiffens under the pressure and after a few moments, begins to relax, giving into it. I pull away but I guess he's not satisfied...he wants to be in charge. He pushes me down to the ground lightly and move on top of me, taking control and kissing me more passionately than I could have ever imagined possible. This was it. I had started the chain reaction. Tomorrow our friendship would be over, but part of me wanted to dream. Just a little big longer I wanted to believe he might possibly care about me. He stops and sits up quickly, worriedly.
"Shit Omi, I'm sorry! I shouldn't have...I mean...GOD! What have I done?" Am I really that disgusting? I guess I was hoping too much...Yohji could never love a boy. I don't think Yohji could ever love for that matter. All he knew was the life he lived and that life had never included love except maybe once...and that love was destroyed.
"Do you really think I'm that disgusting...because I'm a boy?" Why am I asking him this? I should have let it end right there, but I didn't. I kept going. "I know...I'm not a girl...but just for one night...couldn't I be the one you charmed?" It was the equivalent of a confession. He knew now how I felt about him. Well maybe he didn't but he had a pretty good idea.
"Is that really what you want? A quick fuck and then yer good to go? Omi I don't want you doing anything you'll regret...if you do then I'd regret it. I...I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to make you do somehing you don't want just to try to make me feel better."
"But...it is what I want. Even if you throw me away tomorrow...just one night. I promise I'd be happy forever if I could just have one night."
"Omi..." I give him another quick kiss...
"I...I love you Yohji..." His eyes grow wide. Wider than I could imagine possible. God I think I just keep making it worse...he leans in and holds me tight, much to my surprise. I can hear his heart beat as my head comes crashing into his chest. He sounds like he might cry again.
"Do you really mean it Omi?" Of course I meant it. Why the hell would I say it if I didn't? He buries his face into the crevace between my shoulder and my neck. "God Omi...I love you too." I can't believe what I just heard. He says he loves me. Can I really be so lucky.
"Do you love me like you loved all your women?" Crap, did I say that out loud. It was a whisper, but he heard. He looks hurt.
"Shit Omi, I may be an asshole...but I would never lie to you about something like love. You are nothing like the girls...its not the same thing. I promise I won't discard you like a used piece of garbage...I love you Omi...so much." I glance at the mass of hair and skin burying itself in my shoulder and reach my arms around him. I don't deserve to be this happy...but I am. He removes his face from my shoulder and kisses me one more time. His tongue probes my mouth in a desperate attempt to assure that I am really here. Its okay Yohji...I wont disappear. I question the events of the night. Why did this happen? How could things have worked out so perfectly. Before I have the chance to ask he breaks the kiss and answers it for me. "The night does funny things Omi...sometimes it makes us pretend to be someone we aren't, but other times it forces us to see the truth. It forces us to see things with new eyes. The night does funny things and because of that, we can finally be together."
~OWARI~
Whatcha think? R/R and let me know if you want me to write more Weiss fics. I need ideas for fics so requests are taken...though nobody reads my fics so getting requests is pretty unlikely. This is only my second ever Weiss fic and my first Omi X Yohji pairing. Please be kind to me and FLAMERS WILL BE TAKEN AS AMUSING!!! So don't think you can actually upset me...if you read enough of this to leave a gaybashing comment you had to have enjoyed it XD
WARNING: This contains boy boy relationships...its a shounen ai fic, no lemons no limes none of that kind of stuff...its just kinda angsty fluff combo confession of love kinda stuff. If you hate boy boy relationships then don't read it and if you leave mean comments be forewarned...FLAMERS MAKE ME LAUGH!
FINALLY THE DEDICATION!!! READ THE DEDICATION YOU MUST!----this is dedicated to NICK! He's my way cool friend and fellow lover of yaoi, slash, shounen ai, and the such. HAPPY BIRTHDAY N ICK!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~YOHJI~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The lake shore is quiet today...like most times..a haven. Its my haven. Sure other people occassionally spill onto my territory and borrow it for a while...but its still mine. I watch a strand of dusty blonde curly hair fly in front of my face, and I don't bother to brush it aside. Today I'm someone the others don't know exists. I'm still Yohji, but I'm the Yohji I don't let anyone see. I'm only this person in my haven, in silence, in solitude.
A row of cherry trees marks the edge of the lake, allowing their delicate pink blossoms to gently float into the rippling waters. The cherry blossoms mark the beginning of spring, of new life. How nostalgic. How fucking stereotypical. How the hell can I think of new life? I can never change who I've become. This lake, these trees, they mark my getaway, but in a week, when the last flower falls, the haven will leave me bare and empty inside. Then wehere will I run? Where will I turn? What the hell kind of question is that? I'd become the Yohji they all know...sleeping with a different girl every night and leaving her without a care in the world every morning. God I'm such a fucking asshole. I wonder how many hearts I've broken, how many kids I have. I've never loved any of them, not once. I inhale deeply the ciggarrette I'm holding pursed between my lips, and allow the sweet smoke to enter my lungs. My thoughts continue to wander. Why the hell did I sleep with all those girls? Did a warm body really give me the comfort I needed to get away from harsh reality...or was it something else...to deny the truth... "Yohji?" I look up startled.
-----------------------------------OMI-------------------------------------- ---
I left the house, determined to get unpleasant thoughts off my mind. Ken waslounging around the house, Aya was at the hospital visiting his sister...and Yohji... Needless to say he didn't say where he was going but I knew all too well. He only looked that classy when he was going to find some new woman to toy with. I noticed, of course I had noticed. He was dressed to kill...IU curse myself, I need to stop thinkinb about him. Thats why I wanted to take this walk right? To clear my thoughts. I head to the lake, not knowing why exactly. The cherry blossoms are in full bloom and lights dart up from the ground giving them a dream like glow in the crisp evening air. I always love the blossoms. Its true, the most beautiful moments are short lived, and then fade from existane. Cherry blossoms are my reminder, their lives spanning the course of a week.
I breath deeply, wishing to inhale the faint sweet smell of the blossoms, but my nostrils are greeted with something much more unexpected. Its a familliar scent, but I don't want to follow it. Its the arouma of Yohji, probably charming some girl on the lake shore. I try to ignore it. I came here to get away from him, not to find him screwing some clueless girl. Heh, why the hell do I care what he does with those women? Why am I so jealous. Its not like I like him...right? I try to convince my mind but it is not easily swayed. I know how I feel about Yohji, I just don't want to admit it. The wind blows again, the scent somewhat stronger. I'm surprised to see him sitting on some rocks near the water, smoking...alone. I approach him slowly, something looks wrong about this picture. "Yohji?"...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~YOHJI~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Yohji?" I nearly jumped out of my skin. Who had discovered my haven where I was naked and exposed? I quickly threw on my mask and inhaled my cigarrette deeply, once again until there was nothing left. I flicked it aside and listened. "Yohji," the voice pleaded. This time I recognized it. "Are you okay?" I turne to face worried blue eyes.
"I'm fine. What are you doing out so late?" His eyes glisten slightly in the dim lights projected onto the trees.
"Just decided to go for a walk I guess. I wanted ot go see the cherry blossoms before they all disappearred." He smiles but I can tell its just as fake as my own.
"What a coincidence, I couldn't get a date tonight so I came here for the same thing." I smiled even more, my killer seductive smile. God how could I be using that on poor sweet innocent Omi? He had seen his share of troubles, but wan't nearly as tainted as I was. At least he didn't notice it, but my instictive lonely body and mind kept at it. Like an overplayed record the words just came. "Want to sit?" I motioned for him to sit next to me. What the fuck was I doing? I didn't have a date for one night and now I was plotting the seduction of the youngest member of Weiss. He obeyed though. I could feel his waqrmth envelop my right side as he placed himself next to me...so close that I could taste the scent of his vanilla shampoo. "The satars are beautiful aren't they...not often we can acvtualy see them is it? " Omi smiled, a real one this time.
"You're right." He leans back into the grass bordering the rocky shore and starts to hum. Dammit...why do I keep staring at him?
------------------------------------------------OMI------------------------- ----------------------------
I swallowed hard...do I want to sit? Of course I want to sit...but how could the blonde haired playboy have any idea what sitting nextto him does to me. He's being a bit of a flirt...but thats just Yohji. Its not like he means anything by it...right? I reassure myself that look in his eyes means nothing and I plop down beside him.
"The stars are beautiful aren't they? Not often we can actually see them is it?"
I smile, I don't know why I smile...I just do. "You're right." I sight and take my eyes off him, leaning back into the grass...I can't bear to look at him anymore...I might do something rash and stupid. I content myself with humming a song. I come here to get away from him. Must not think about Yohji, must not think about Yohji...
"What song is that?"
"I dounno," my humming pauses, as I respond. "Just humming notes." I close my eyes and continue to content myself with the unfamilliar tune. The cool breeze carresses my body and I shudder slightly. Its still a little cold; I should have brought a coat. Oh well, too late now. I'm surprised when I feel a warm coat being placed on me. I open my eyes and see Yohji gazing down upon me. "Thank you." Yeah, this is why I love him, even though I know I can never have him. He's a playboy, but inside he is kind and I can see in his eyes he is lonely. Its funny what the night does, he said once. You see people in a differnet light. I think he was right. The breeze toyed with his hair, showering him with tiny glowing blossoms. The night made him look beautiful. It made him look like a lonely little boy longing for companionship.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~YOHJI~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I stare down at Omi, not quite understanding why I have the sudden urge to make him mine like so many discareded women. Something is different though. Part of me wants the hollow comfort of a lover, but part of me wont be satisfied if it is anyone but him. I'm glad he's not looking at me as I foolishly lick my lips seductively. His song continues, infestively embedding my mind with the image of a night club. Why a night club? The sound is entirely different. Its a soft, sweet, innocent sound. The image of the club and all the women I'd destroyed faded from my mind. They were replaced by the real image of Omi, resting under the starlit canopy that was raining a soft pale blue glow down upon his face. Too bad the incandessant lighting nearly drown it out in an attempt to destry its effect. Its funny, I've never really looked at him like this before. I mean...I've looked at him before and wondered what it would be like to have him, but back then it was just a mild curiosity. Now it is an unfathomable desire to...I don't know, love him. You heard me right, not make love to him, to actually love him. Its crazy, after years of throwing myself at what seems like thousands of girls, only now do I realize how much I hate my wreckless lifestyle. "Are you okay Yohji-kun?" Omi's voice draws me in. His large eyes, the colour of the heavens, are gripping me contemplatively. "You look like you are somewhere else."
"I'm fine, just thinking a little too much." Blue eyes probed me. I was drowining in thoughts of him and couldn't escape. Why the hell did I ask him to sit down? I'm sure I will regret this in the end.
"What are you thinking about?" I feel my face flush. God its been a long time since I've blushed. Shit, he noticed.
----------------------------------------------OMI--------------------------- -----------------------------
"What are you thinking about?" Something happens that I had never thought possible...Yohji blushes. What is he thinking about? Probably some girl from his past. If he asked me the same question I would have ran. My thoughts had been on Yohji all night. Did he honestly think I didn't notice the way he licked his lips? He's going crazy because he has to be alone tonight. I feel kind of sorry for him. God even if I know he'll dump me tomorrow like everyone else, part of me longs for his touch right now so much that I can easily sacrafice our friendship for one night of happiness. That would just be me taking advantage of him though. I surpress my desires and change the subject. "Its kind of sad the trees will be bare soon." I sigh and sit up, wrapping myself tighter in Yohji's coat. "They are so beautiful, I hate to see them die."
"Are you still cold?" I try to hide it but my shivering is far too apparrent. Yohji stares down at me and the unexpcected happens next. Warm arms wrap around me, gripping me tightly. I blush furiously, trying not to move...too petrified to move. God I'm scared right now and I don't even know why. I think its because i'm afraid that this is just Yohji the flirt. This doesn't mean anything and this will never mean anything. It feels so good though, his warmth. Its something I've only dreamt about. Its only his kindness though. The grip tightens. "Its okay, I'll keep you warm." What the hell is he doing. I think he can feel how tense I have become...he backs away. "God Omi...I'm...I'm sorry..." He turns away from me. "I don't know what came over me."
"Yohji...since when do you go for guys?" I ask, half jokingly...I regret it. He hangs his head lower and begins to cry. Yohji is...crying. That never happens...what did I do?
"Don't look at me Omi...I'm just a worthless pile of shit. God I'm so desperate I'd even destroy you." I don't quite know what he's talking about but I do know I want to comfort him. He doesn't see the beautiful person I see...the person I love. He hates himself. I bite my lip and brace myself for what I'm about to do.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~YOHJI~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~
I don't know why I'm hugging him. Well hell of course I know. Its because of how much I want him...how much I've wanted him for so long. Even when I was with all those girls he was the only thing I really wanted. I feel him stiffen in my arms. GOD he knows. He knows and he is terrified. Omi is going to hate me now. I release him and turn away. I don't want him to see me like this. "God Omi...I'm...I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."
"Yohji...since when did you go for guys?" My head hurts. He's just joking but he knows. I've destroyed everything. I hate to do cry, but I feel liquid saturate my face. There is nothing I can do about it...the tears are uncontrollable. Dammit...dammit dammit damit. Don't look at me like this. Don't see me when I'm bare and naked. Don't see me without my mask.
"Don't look at me Omi...I'm just a worthless pile of shit. God I'm so desperate I'd even destroy you." It was true...I couldn't hide my emotions with girl tonight. That was the real reason I was such a playboy. It was another haven. A way to get away from the truth. A place to release myself that I might not destroy my friendship with Omi. An arm gently wraps around me from behind...and then another. A body presses against my back and warm breath trails into my ear followed by a soft whisper.
"Its okay to cry Yohji, but you aren't worthless. No matter what you do you matter to someone."
"Do I matter to you?" I manage to cough out quietly through the tears. Am I about to confess? God how can I be dumb enough to confess to someone who can never love a piece of shit like me. I fight the urge and pretend to smile. "Thank you Omi." I try to push myself up to stand, but Omi holds me down.
"Yohji-kun..." I turn to him wondering what he has to say...
-------------------------------------------------------OMI------------------ ------------------------------------------
"Yohji-kun..." He looks at me. I know I'm taking the final plunge. There is no turning back after this but I can't stand to see him like this anymore. I'm not a woman, he'll probably hate me in the morning, but I can't take it. I reach around him and place a long deep unexpected kiss upon his lips. He stiffens under the pressure and after a few moments, begins to relax, giving into it. I pull away but I guess he's not satisfied...he wants to be in charge. He pushes me down to the ground lightly and move on top of me, taking control and kissing me more passionately than I could have ever imagined possible. This was it. I had started the chain reaction. Tomorrow our friendship would be over, but part of me wanted to dream. Just a little big longer I wanted to believe he might possibly care about me. He stops and sits up quickly, worriedly.
"Shit Omi, I'm sorry! I shouldn't have...I mean...GOD! What have I done?" Am I really that disgusting? I guess I was hoping too much...Yohji could never love a boy. I don't think Yohji could ever love for that matter. All he knew was the life he lived and that life had never included love except maybe once...and that love was destroyed.
"Do you really think I'm that disgusting...because I'm a boy?" Why am I asking him this? I should have let it end right there, but I didn't. I kept going. "I know...I'm not a girl...but just for one night...couldn't I be the one you charmed?" It was the equivalent of a confession. He knew now how I felt about him. Well maybe he didn't but he had a pretty good idea.
"Is that really what you want? A quick fuck and then yer good to go? Omi I don't want you doing anything you'll regret...if you do then I'd regret it. I...I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to make you do somehing you don't want just to try to make me feel better."
"But...it is what I want. Even if you throw me away tomorrow...just one night. I promise I'd be happy forever if I could just have one night."
"Omi..." I give him another quick kiss...
"I...I love you Yohji..." His eyes grow wide. Wider than I could imagine possible. God I think I just keep making it worse...he leans in and holds me tight, much to my surprise. I can hear his heart beat as my head comes crashing into his chest. He sounds like he might cry again.
"Do you really mean it Omi?" Of course I meant it. Why the hell would I say it if I didn't? He buries his face into the crevace between my shoulder and my neck. "God Omi...I love you too." I can't believe what I just heard. He says he loves me. Can I really be so lucky.
"Do you love me like you loved all your women?" Crap, did I say that out loud. It was a whisper, but he heard. He looks hurt.
"Shit Omi, I may be an asshole...but I would never lie to you about something like love. You are nothing like the girls...its not the same thing. I promise I won't discard you like a used piece of garbage...I love you Omi...so much." I glance at the mass of hair and skin burying itself in my shoulder and reach my arms around him. I don't deserve to be this happy...but I am. He removes his face from my shoulder and kisses me one more time. His tongue probes my mouth in a desperate attempt to assure that I am really here. Its okay Yohji...I wont disappear. I question the events of the night. Why did this happen? How could things have worked out so perfectly. Before I have the chance to ask he breaks the kiss and answers it for me. "The night does funny things Omi...sometimes it makes us pretend to be someone we aren't, but other times it forces us to see the truth. It forces us to see things with new eyes. The night does funny things and because of that, we can finally be together."
~OWARI~
Whatcha think? R/R and let me know if you want me to write more Weiss fics. I need ideas for fics so requests are taken...though nobody reads my fics so getting requests is pretty unlikely. This is only my second ever Weiss fic and my first Omi X Yohji pairing. Please be kind to me and FLAMERS WILL BE TAKEN AS AMUSING!!! So don't think you can actually upset me...if you read enough of this to leave a gaybashing comment you had to have enjoyed it XD