Traditional
******
There are ways that I imagined this going.
There's the usual expectations about what's going to happen. There are hopes and thoughts and the odd fantasy that plays out during an especially dull math class. There are possibilities. Options.
But in all my imaginings, my musings, I never quite got this right.
I never quite thought that Jan's hands in my hair would feel so good. Or that his lips were so soft. Or that the look in his eyes could tighten things low in my body.
We're lying so close together that I can't help but notice that I'm not the only one happy about this.
He pulls back from me slightly, a smile on his face.
"You okay?"
"Yeah," I breathe. "I'm good."
"Good." He says through a satisfied grin.
I stare up at him. At that quirky grin he has; part arrogance, part manly pride, part impressed. He's almost basking in the glow of his victory he looks so immensely satisfied.
"You're looking," I pause, searching for the right word.
"Stunningly attractive, dashingly manly?" He suggests, a glint in his eye.
"Chirpy." I decide.
He raises an eyebrow.
"Chirpy?"
"Chirpy."
He nods, slowly.
"Chirpy," he says, "full of chirp." He grins. "There's possibilities." I stunned.
"You're not serious." I didn't think he's take it quite like that.
There's a long pause as he leaves me hanging here, getting more embarrassed by the second until -
"Nope," he says, leaning in to steal a quick kiss.
"Oh God," I moan, throwing myself back into the pillows and pulling one over my face to hide my embarrassment. "I actually bought that!"
And he's laughing.
"Jan!" I yell into the pillow.
Still laughing.
"Hey Missy," he says softly, "Stop hiding."
I lift the cushion slowly to find Jan staring up at me from where he's rested on my stomach. Having pillowed his head against his forearms he looks up at me, an expression halfway between "love me" and "laugh at me" stretched across his features.
"Hey," he says all trace of his earlier merriment gone.
"Hey," I reply. It's a good word might as well use while I can. I'll have to think of something else to say soon enough anyway.
"So."
"So."
It's hard enough breathing whilst he lies so close to me he's practically on me, but think?
I'm sorry but there is just no way that's ever happening with this kind of physical proximity going on.
So now I'm stuck on what to do next.
"Yeah," I breathe softly. "Okay."
"You know what," he says, the grin back in place, "I think we should just give up on this whole talking thing for a while."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
He stalks up my body like a predator, all stealth and controlled body movement. And I'm so caught up in watching how he moves that I don't register that he's looming over me, holding himself up over me. He's not imposing at all, in fact, if there is such a thing as "un-posing" he's doing that. I can't quite figure it until I realize that he's waiting for a sign from me. Trying not to push unless I confirm it's okay.
I look up at him. Watching the muscles in his arms and shoulders hold him up. Watching his attempts to hold his body still as he drops his head for a kiss.
He's great.
And I want to show him that.
With a grin I grab his belt with both hands and yank him down.
"Couldn't wait, huh?" he teases.
"No," I say, raising my arms around his neck, "I couldn't."
*****
And we're kissing again. I can taste her, and she's wonderful.
She's great.
She's -
Slipping her hand under my t-shirt to tickle my lower back.
Huh.
Well two can play that game.
I let my hands drift down the sides of her body, softly, gently moving over clothing until I reach the right point and it's -
"Ahhh!" She shrieks trying to dislodge my grip on her waist. "That tickles!"
"Does it?" I question.
"Yeah! Stop!"
She squirms against my grip her t-shirt rising up and she pushes against my wrists. I lift her up, pulling her to her knees. I can't help but love playing like this. I love that I can pick her up, and throw her in the air because she trusts me. Maybe I should get Les to talk to Torrance come Monday and change the pairs.
"Jan! I'm warning you."
I can't help but laugh as she twists and turns, trying to get loose. Her mouth threatening me while her eyes tease.
Abruptly I let go of her torso and instead reach to cup her face as I steal a kiss in the middle of another threat.
She relaxes against me, melting into the kiss.
I pull my head back, smoothing her hair down my hand as I hold her close.
Actions speak louder than words, right man? Well right now her eyes are saying everything I've ever wanted to hear, and I've got a feeling that mine are returning the favor.
This is perfect.
Really.
I lean back, pulling her tight against my chest. We seem to sigh together, relaxing into this new, different situation. A new position for us. A new position for me. Just lying here, relaxed, together.
I've never really done this before.
Just been with someone.
Just been.
Huh.
So it's about the point where I realize that I'm just content to lie here that Missy decides to have "the talk."
"So."
"So what?" I ask.
"So what is it we're doing here?"
"Ah," dammit, "that was that kinda 'so'".
"Jan."
"Okay, okay". Right now I'm seriously suppressing my built in masculine urge to run for the hills at the first sign of a serious relationship conversation.
"I mean," she says, her head rested on my shoulder and one hand absently stroking my stomach, "that you kissed me."
"Yeah. I did that. And then you kissed me."
"Right." She agrees, then doggedly pursues her point with another: "So."
"Do we have to do this," I say, interrupting the awkward silence left by her last "so". "I mean can't we just say I like you and you like me and we're cool with that. Do we have to talk about it?"
"You like me?" She questions, mock surprise in her voice. I wonder if she's nervous. Les is always talking about how people disguise emotion with, like, other stuff. I wonder if the "shock horror!" tone she's adopted right now means that she's anywhere near as nervous as I am.
"Yeah," I'm figuring honesty is the best policy right now. "I like you. I like you a lot."
"Good," she says snuggling into my shoulder. "I like you too."
I'm waiting for the rest of this. I'm waiting for the "so what do we do now" and the "is this an actual relationship" questions. The anticipation of the romantic inquisition is getting to me.
Coz she's not saying anything.
"Missy?" I say slowly.
"Yeah," she murmurs.
"That it?"
I swear I can feel her smiling through my shirt.
"Yeah Jan. That's it. Coz you like me and I like you and right now, that's all that matters."
"Really?" I ask, amazed at her ability to just take things in her stride without analyzing them to death like so many other people I know.
"You realize I'm gonna get shit from Cliff about this," she teases, "You'd better be worth the hassle."
I grin.
"I am," I say. "Just wait and see."
I can feel her grinning again as her arms come up and hug me tightly. I rearrange my body slightly, shifting her weight so I can move one hand up to lie against her hip and the other to weave through her fingers against my torso.
And it's worth it. It really is.
It's perfect. Coz she likes me. And I like her. Together we like each other.
And that's all I need.
******
There are ways that I imagined this going.
There's the usual expectations about what's going to happen. There are hopes and thoughts and the odd fantasy that plays out during an especially dull math class. There are possibilities. Options.
But in all my imaginings, my musings, I never quite got this right.
I never quite thought that Jan's hands in my hair would feel so good. Or that his lips were so soft. Or that the look in his eyes could tighten things low in my body.
We're lying so close together that I can't help but notice that I'm not the only one happy about this.
He pulls back from me slightly, a smile on his face.
"You okay?"
"Yeah," I breathe. "I'm good."
"Good." He says through a satisfied grin.
I stare up at him. At that quirky grin he has; part arrogance, part manly pride, part impressed. He's almost basking in the glow of his victory he looks so immensely satisfied.
"You're looking," I pause, searching for the right word.
"Stunningly attractive, dashingly manly?" He suggests, a glint in his eye.
"Chirpy." I decide.
He raises an eyebrow.
"Chirpy?"
"Chirpy."
He nods, slowly.
"Chirpy," he says, "full of chirp." He grins. "There's possibilities." I stunned.
"You're not serious." I didn't think he's take it quite like that.
There's a long pause as he leaves me hanging here, getting more embarrassed by the second until -
"Nope," he says, leaning in to steal a quick kiss.
"Oh God," I moan, throwing myself back into the pillows and pulling one over my face to hide my embarrassment. "I actually bought that!"
And he's laughing.
"Jan!" I yell into the pillow.
Still laughing.
"Hey Missy," he says softly, "Stop hiding."
I lift the cushion slowly to find Jan staring up at me from where he's rested on my stomach. Having pillowed his head against his forearms he looks up at me, an expression halfway between "love me" and "laugh at me" stretched across his features.
"Hey," he says all trace of his earlier merriment gone.
"Hey," I reply. It's a good word might as well use while I can. I'll have to think of something else to say soon enough anyway.
"So."
"So."
It's hard enough breathing whilst he lies so close to me he's practically on me, but think?
I'm sorry but there is just no way that's ever happening with this kind of physical proximity going on.
So now I'm stuck on what to do next.
"Yeah," I breathe softly. "Okay."
"You know what," he says, the grin back in place, "I think we should just give up on this whole talking thing for a while."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
He stalks up my body like a predator, all stealth and controlled body movement. And I'm so caught up in watching how he moves that I don't register that he's looming over me, holding himself up over me. He's not imposing at all, in fact, if there is such a thing as "un-posing" he's doing that. I can't quite figure it until I realize that he's waiting for a sign from me. Trying not to push unless I confirm it's okay.
I look up at him. Watching the muscles in his arms and shoulders hold him up. Watching his attempts to hold his body still as he drops his head for a kiss.
He's great.
And I want to show him that.
With a grin I grab his belt with both hands and yank him down.
"Couldn't wait, huh?" he teases.
"No," I say, raising my arms around his neck, "I couldn't."
*****
And we're kissing again. I can taste her, and she's wonderful.
She's great.
She's -
Slipping her hand under my t-shirt to tickle my lower back.
Huh.
Well two can play that game.
I let my hands drift down the sides of her body, softly, gently moving over clothing until I reach the right point and it's -
"Ahhh!" She shrieks trying to dislodge my grip on her waist. "That tickles!"
"Does it?" I question.
"Yeah! Stop!"
She squirms against my grip her t-shirt rising up and she pushes against my wrists. I lift her up, pulling her to her knees. I can't help but love playing like this. I love that I can pick her up, and throw her in the air because she trusts me. Maybe I should get Les to talk to Torrance come Monday and change the pairs.
"Jan! I'm warning you."
I can't help but laugh as she twists and turns, trying to get loose. Her mouth threatening me while her eyes tease.
Abruptly I let go of her torso and instead reach to cup her face as I steal a kiss in the middle of another threat.
She relaxes against me, melting into the kiss.
I pull my head back, smoothing her hair down my hand as I hold her close.
Actions speak louder than words, right man? Well right now her eyes are saying everything I've ever wanted to hear, and I've got a feeling that mine are returning the favor.
This is perfect.
Really.
I lean back, pulling her tight against my chest. We seem to sigh together, relaxing into this new, different situation. A new position for us. A new position for me. Just lying here, relaxed, together.
I've never really done this before.
Just been with someone.
Just been.
Huh.
So it's about the point where I realize that I'm just content to lie here that Missy decides to have "the talk."
"So."
"So what?" I ask.
"So what is it we're doing here?"
"Ah," dammit, "that was that kinda 'so'".
"Jan."
"Okay, okay". Right now I'm seriously suppressing my built in masculine urge to run for the hills at the first sign of a serious relationship conversation.
"I mean," she says, her head rested on my shoulder and one hand absently stroking my stomach, "that you kissed me."
"Yeah. I did that. And then you kissed me."
"Right." She agrees, then doggedly pursues her point with another: "So."
"Do we have to do this," I say, interrupting the awkward silence left by her last "so". "I mean can't we just say I like you and you like me and we're cool with that. Do we have to talk about it?"
"You like me?" She questions, mock surprise in her voice. I wonder if she's nervous. Les is always talking about how people disguise emotion with, like, other stuff. I wonder if the "shock horror!" tone she's adopted right now means that she's anywhere near as nervous as I am.
"Yeah," I'm figuring honesty is the best policy right now. "I like you. I like you a lot."
"Good," she says snuggling into my shoulder. "I like you too."
I'm waiting for the rest of this. I'm waiting for the "so what do we do now" and the "is this an actual relationship" questions. The anticipation of the romantic inquisition is getting to me.
Coz she's not saying anything.
"Missy?" I say slowly.
"Yeah," she murmurs.
"That it?"
I swear I can feel her smiling through my shirt.
"Yeah Jan. That's it. Coz you like me and I like you and right now, that's all that matters."
"Really?" I ask, amazed at her ability to just take things in her stride without analyzing them to death like so many other people I know.
"You realize I'm gonna get shit from Cliff about this," she teases, "You'd better be worth the hassle."
I grin.
"I am," I say. "Just wait and see."
I can feel her grinning again as her arms come up and hug me tightly. I rearrange my body slightly, shifting her weight so I can move one hand up to lie against her hip and the other to weave through her fingers against my torso.
And it's worth it. It really is.
It's perfect. Coz she likes me. And I like her. Together we like each other.
And that's all I need.