Author Notes: I…don't know what to say! I have over 250 reviews, which is more than I could have ever hoped for. Thank you every single one of you, and be assured that you shall get a personal thanks when this story is finished. My final author note shall be for all of you!
English is my second language, so I apologize for any grammar or spelling mistakes made on the course of this story. I have taken any quotes from the books by J.R Tolkien adding my own lines in-between. Please R&R, this story shall soon be over, and I wish to see just how many reviews I can get *Smile*
Also, since I have something close to 4 chapters left, I wish to start the correction of each chapter. Is anyone out there willing to help me with the grammar?
As shameless publicity I am going to announce that I am co-writing a story with 'Minka', named "Distorted Reality", it is an AU with Elladan, Elrohir, Legolas and Aragorn as the main characters, very angst and action filled, just like we both like it *Grin* If you're interested in reading, then please go to my favorite author page and you will see our joint account there.
Now, onto chapter 26…
Master in Deceiving
By Yours Truly
{You must…you better}
Before he could think of the implications of the hiss inside his thoughts, he found himself in front of two identical faces, both of which were smiling at him pleasantly. He felt his stomach churn as he forced dark thoughts from his mind.
"Legolas of Mirkwood, long has it been since our last meeting" Elrohir said while he embraced the prince, stepping away to leave room for his brother. Elladan embraced Legolas as well, and the elf prince smiled at them both, hoping it would somehow reach his eyes.
"Indeed it has, my friends. You have not graced Mirkwood with your presence in years, and duty has given me little time to visit Rivendell before the Council" Legolas answered, as he let Elrohir lead the way towards a corner away from the men.
Elladan gave the prince a curious look, and Legolas knew he was about to remember just how straight forward the other elf could be. "What troubles you, Legolas? The last time we saw you, your pose was not rigid as I see it now, and I see a pain in your eyes that had not tormented you then"
Elrohir gave his brother a look, which his twin ignored, as he focused calm eyes on the blond elf in front of him. Legolas sighed and glanced from one to the other, knowing now was the time to prove if he could lie.
{Lie, lie to them you weakling, you already admitted weakness to Haldir and to his brothers, Lady Galadriel has seen it as well. Aragorn and Gimli barely trust you now…do you wish to loose the twins' friendship as well? Just because you're too weak, too much of a coward?}
{Would it not be cowardly to lie and hide?}
{Not when your life is at stake, Princeling, not when you will feel grief upon your heart as soon as you see their disapproving gazes}
{I am still a coward}
{Aye, you are…}
"Nothing troubles me Elladan" Legolas said at last, meeting the eyes that studied him with as much honesty as he could muster "The war and the bloodshed, the pull of the ring on a friend and the hardships of the fellowship have given me pain, with no time for grieving for it all. It has been overwhelming…which I believe is the reason I must look different to your eyes"
"Nay, Legolas" Elrohir interrupted softly "If you do not wish to tell us, you can keep your thoughts to yourself, but you would offend us if you continue to lie to our faces. Pain and grief…and something else lurks in your eyes…"
Legolas looked down and sighed, "I wish I could tell you…" he murmured
"What stops you?" Elladan questioned softly, searching the blue gaze that refused to meet his.
{The voice on my head} he thought mockingly
"Duty and a greater concern than my own troubled thoughts," Legolas said, meeting their eyes again "War comes now…I can grieve later"
Elrohir nodded and after a pause he spoke again "Just one question"
Legolas nodded his permission
"Are you alright?"
{Nay, nay I'm not, I'm not, I'm not!} His mind sobbed in vain, as his mouth curved in a gentle smile on the outside.
"Aye, my friends…nothing time will not heal"
{Is that so? You think with time your problems shall fade away? That if you wait long enough, the battle may never have to be fought?}
{Aye…nay…nay…I know not…}
{Do not dream, little one. One's problems do not fade away}
Elladan and Elrohir seemed unconvinced but the twins respected whatever reason Legolas had to keep silent, for they had no further reason to worry for his welfare in the time being. Legolas sighed in relief, and thanked Elbereth that the both of them had not arrived earlier in their travels, for they would have seen the madness that had threatened to consume him…that still was threatening him, to some extent.
He quickly turned the conversation into more pleasant matters, and in the midst of the camp they spoke of what had come to pass during the time they had been separated. Without realizing it; they had switched back to elvish and several curious stares were directed their way, for most of these riders were not used to the musical language that flowed easily between the three.
Time flew by, and soon Legolas knew that it was time to go check on his mortal friends. With a smile and a mock bow, he walked away from the twins, looking for any of the other familiar faces. He soon spotted Gimli, sharpening his axe in silent concentration. Legolas went and sat next to him, without saying anything, content with merely resting his mind away from the voice and away from his conscience, the latter of which was begging him to talk with someone…anyone…be it the twins of the next rider or Rohan he spotted.
When the noise from the axe stopped, Legolas turned to find Gimli's eyes trained upon him, searching for answers that not even Legolas had. The elf smiled at the dwarf, ignoring the unspoken questions hanging between them.
"I thought you would never notice me, Master dwarf, I was starting to consider throw an arrow at your head so you would know I was here"
Gimli shook his head, knowing full well what Legolas was doing. "Elf, why don't we go and find Merry? It shall soon be time for a meal, and I doubt the little one will be willing to miss that"
Glad that the dwarf did not voice any of the painfully obvious things to say, Legolas nodded as he gracefully leapt to his feet, training his eyes around the camp to spot the mop of curls that would belong a to a hobbit. Seeing it, he walked in its direction, hearing Gimli walk calmly beside him. The hobbit was asleep, and dead to the world, but the elf was unwilling to talk much with Gimli alone, afraid that he would have to face some of the things he had wanted to hide from, at least for some time…
{You see, little weakling? Running and hiding and lying, those seem like the only things you know well how to do}
Kneeling next to the sleeping form, Legolas woke him gently, shaking Merry's shoulder with a friendly grip.
"The Sun is high," said Legolas. "All others are up and doing. Come, Master Sluggard, and look at this place while you may!"
{The time is coming, little elf, you cannot hide in games and jokes, you cannot hide in fear and lack of courage…you simply cannot hide}
"There was a battle here three nights ago," said Gimli to the hobbit that stared sleepily at him, "and here Legolas and I played a game that I won only by a single orc. Come and see how it was! And there are caves, Merry, caves of wonder! Shall we visit them, Legolas, do you think?"
{Caves? How appropriate, do you not think little elf? Caves make wonderful tombs}
"Nay! There is no time," said the Elf with a calm voice that betrayed none of the terror the whisper brought in him. "Do not spoil the wonder with haste! I have given you my word to return hither with you, if a day of peace and freedom comes again. But it is now near to noon, and at that hour we eat, and then set out again, I hear."
Legolas watched as Merry got up slowly, getting dressed with no hurry. He could see as clearly as the day that Merry missed Pippin, but there was nothing to be done about it. He wished he could reassure the hobbit in someway, but how could he? If he was afraid that his friends might leave him behind, later, how could he tell Merry everything was fine, now that Pippin had gone ahead of him? He would feel the same, if not far worse than Merry if the positions were reversed, and he did not know how to appease the hurt that this had caused on the hobbit.
"Where is Aragorn?" Merry asked.
"In a high chamber of the Burg," answered Legolas softly. "He has neither rested nor slept, I think. He went thither some hours ago, saying that he must take thought, and only his kinsman, Halbarad, went with him; but some dark doubt or care sits on him."
{I will tell you of his dark doubt, little one} The voice suddenly hissed roughly, making Legolas' breathing hitch, luckily or maybe unluckily for him, not loud enough for his companions to hear {He doubts he can trust his best friend, he doubts your sanity, your strength! He doubts your every move, and he watches you carefully, waiting for your fall; awaiting the moment that he will have to kill you, to finish the threat that you represent}
{Stop this…}
{You know it is true, little Prince…}
{I know nothing!}
{You know everything…} The voice laughed, and suddenly, it was his voice no longer {You know everything, and you shall know more…you shall be aware of the extent of damage you can cause…you shall come to be familiar with the bigger side of you, the side you have repressed…}
The hiss was familiar, terrifying and seductive all at once, sounding as an invitation to open doors never before seen…as the temptation he no longer thought he could fight…
{What side?} His voice was no longer that of a warrior, but that of a child, and he could hear laughter ringing in his ears. Barely managing to do so, he followed the conversation going on in the outside, while forcing his mind to grasp his one opportunity for answers.
He needed to know…but could he…?
{The side that came up the first time you slain an orc, even while you knew its brethren was once the same as yours. You remember, don't you little one? Remember your reaction? Your delight?}
{What…}
{Remember your laughter?}
And he could…he remembered it clearly. The orc lay slain before him, a pool of black blood spilling on the grass, and even with the knowledge that this creatures' ancestors had been elves, he had smiled…he had laughed softly, to himself, a cold empty laugh that now shook him to the bone.
{That is no side of me…that was…I was…my first war party, my first kill…I was a warrior then…}
{And you are a warrior now, and still you enjoy it, don't you princeling? Enjoy the rush, the power and the strength that you undergo…you still laugh, don't you?}
{Nay! I do not!}
{You still smile don't you?}
{Nay, nay, nay! Do not say such things, they are nothing but deception!}
{Are they?}
{Stop this! These are times of war!}
{And don't you enjoy the prospect? Doesn't it enlighten your heart to know you shall feel the power once more?}
{Nay…nay…Mirkwood might be in danger, my people might suffer if we fail this. If we fail in this war of men…}
{Aye, princeling, 'tis a war of men. What do you do in here, then? Why do you fight if not by your own sardonic pleasure? You know Gimli fights out of duty, just as he knows that he enjoys a good battle…but you? You feel pleasure from it…}
{Nay!}
{Open your eyes, little one…see the truth…}
{Please…}
{Do not beg noting of me, little one…'tis only you…}
"…Word came to Rivendell, they say: 'Aragorn has need of his kindred. Let the Dúnedain ride to him in Rohan!' But whence this message came they are now in doubt. Gandalf sent it, I would guess" Gimli was saying and Legolas found logic among his inner distractions.
"Nay, Galadriel," said the elf softly. "Did she not speak through Gandalf of the ride of the Grey Company from the North?"
"Yes, you have it," said Gimli. "The Lady of the Wood! She read many hearts and desires. Now why did not we wish for some of our own kinsfolk, Legolas?"
Legolas stood before the gate and turned his bright eyes away north and east, his thoughts filled with anxiety and desperation. A pang of guilt of realization made his heart shudder in his chest, and his fair face was now visibly troubled. "I do not think that any would come," he answered. "They have no need to ride to war; war already marches on their own lands."
The three companions marched onwards, after the discouraging words of the elf. Gimli did not contradict his words, for he knew his elven companion's thoughts were troubled, but now he felt distressed. Was it a shadow he had seen in Legolas' eyes as he spoke? Was it truly darkness what now was hidden behind deep blue eyes?
They went to the midday meal in the hall of the Burg, where the King was already seated. The man called Merry to his side, leaving Gimli and Legolas behind, sharing a silence loaded with emotions. Finally the dwarf gave up in trying to ignore his doubts and fears; opening his mouth to question the elf, he closed it once more when he noticed the far away look in his companion' countenance.
{Acknowledge your true nature, little elf…}
{True nature…I do not know of what you speak…}
{You can fool them all, but me, little one, acknowledge your real thoughts, everything you feel behind the façade of nobility. You have not a righteous bone in your body!}
{Just leave me be…}
{Answer something, little one}
{I do not wish to!}
{But you shall}
{I…I shall…}
{Good, little one. Answer something for me now…Do you not like the sight of blood?}
{W-What?!…That…I…nay! Of course not! How could I-?}
{Answer truthfully…}
{That vile substance is foul! Of course I do not like it…so dark and thick…}
{Not Orcan blood, little one…your own…your life force, deep red and so rich…}
{I…I…I do not wish to think of this, I do not wish to-}
{ANSWER ME!}
Gimli was flabbergasted when a small sound escaped the silent elf…a whimper…so soft it would have been his imagination, but the endless pools of blue on his friend's pale face spoke of grief beyond anyone's knowledge.
{Aye}
The dwarf assumed the elf had been listening the King's conversation, when the man had told Merry he should ride with him. Sympathetic to the grief of separation, Gimli placed a hand gently on the elf's shoulder and Legolas was shaken away from his musings, loosing the concentration he needed to focus on his inner conflict. Placing a fake smile upon his lips, he turned to Gimli and nodded his head in silent thanks, for whatever had possessed the dwarf to try and comfort him. Legolas feared his thoughts would soon become too obvious to ignore, even on the outside…
Then, Éomer came out from the gate, and with him was Aragorn, and Halbarad bearing the great staff close-furled in black, and two tall men, neither young nor old. So much alike were they, the sons of Elrond, that few could tell them apart: dark-haired, grey-eyed, and their faces elven-fair, clad alike in bright mail beneath cloaks of silver-grey. Behind them walked Legolas and Gimli in grim silence, whose faces sobered even further when they saw the change in Aragorn. The man was exhausted and burdened beyond what was healthy…almost beyond what was possible. Legolas felt his heart constrict when he saw his friend in this state, and his guilt was immense when he thought in how much of that weariness might come from his friend's worry for his welfare.
The man walked towards the King's horse and spoke with the royal man, as Merry looked and listened to the worrying words being spoken. The elf saw this happen yet he did not come close, content with being able to see what was transpiring. He needed no further burdens…he could not afford to concern himself with every detail any longer…he could barely handle anything on his current state of mind. Doubts, fears and horrible truths slapped him in the face, without anything new being added to the mix. There was enough inside of him to make him wish to stay away from further complications.
Yet when Aragorn walked back to the table of the Hall in silent mourning, and Legolas could see that the King's men and the little Merry had departed, he could worry about himself no longer, choosing instead to focus his attentions on his dear friend, over his own crumbling thoughts.
The silence stretched on until it was no longer bearable, and Legolas finally spoke "Come!" said Legolas at last. "Speak and be comforted, and shake off the shadow! What has happened since we came back to this grim place in the grey morning?"
"A struggle somewhat grimmer for my part than the battle of the Hornburg," answered Aragorn, looking up to meet his friend's gaze. "I have looked in the Stone of Orthanc, my friends."
The elf froze and the breath left him in a rush, blissfully covered by Gimli's voice as he exclaimed his weariness at the mention of the stone. Legolas looked down onto the table and blocked out the conversation between his friends' as he tried to collect his thoughts into some semblance of order and calm.
{The stone…}
{What did you see there, young one?}
{The…the…}
{Your doom, was it not?}
{My fate?}
{Aye}
{How-nay…why?}
{Do you not ride to face the Dark Lord…or do you ride to war and bloodshed?}
{I know not…I know nothing, any longer!}
{You know too well…that is your dilemma}
"The Paths of the Dead!" said Gimli loudly, startling Legolas out of his thought, once more. "It is a fell name; and little to the liking to the Men of Rohan, as I saw. Can the living use such a road and not perish? And even if you pass that way, what will so few avail to counter the strokes of Mordor?"
"The living have never used that road since the coming of the Rohirrim," said Aragorn gravely, studying the faces of his friends "for it is closed to them. But in this dark hour the heir of Isildur may use it, if he dare. Listen! This is the word that the sons of Elrond bring to me from their father in Rivendell, wisest in lore: Bid Aragorn remember the words of the seer, and the Paths of the Dead."
"And what may be the words of the seer?" asked Legolas evenly, unaffected unlike Gimli with the course they were to take.
"Thus spoke Malbeth the Seer, in the days of Arvedui, last king at Fornost,' said Aragorn:
Over the land there lies a long shadow,
Westward reaching wings of darkness.
The Tower trembles; to the tombs of kings
Doom approaches. The Dead awaken;
For the hour is come for the oathbreakers;
At the Stone of Erech they shall stand again
And hear there a horn in the hills ringing.
Whose shall the horn be? Who shall call them
From the prey twilight, the forgotten people?
The heir of him to whom the oath they swore.
From the North shall he come, need shall drive him:
He shall pass the Door to the Paths of the Dead.
"Dark ways doubtless," said Gimli, and Legolas nodded to himself "but no darker than these staves are to me."
"If you would understand them better, then I bid you come with me," said Aragorn, looking pointedly at each of them, lingering his grey gaze upon his elven friend; "for that way I now shall take. But I do not go gladly; only need drives me. Therefore, only of your free will would I have you come, for you will find both toil and great fear, and maybe worse."
This time there was no mistake on whom was Aragorn addressing his words to, for his gaze was fully concentrated on the troubled blue gaze of Legolas who seemed distant, and unaffected by this new turn of events. Aragorn wished to make his friend understand the perils they now stood against, yet Legolas remained passive, and answered his gaze with a subtle nod.
"I will go with you even on the Paths of the Dead, and to whatever, end they may lead," said Gimli, watching the interchange with Legolas without interrupting.
"I also will come," said Legolas determinately, his voice betraying none of his doubts "for I do not fear the Dead."
Aragorn seemed pained by his answer, obviously wishing to protect the elf, and Legolas found himself angry with his friend. Shaking off his feelings as inappropriate he looked away from the eyes studying him, unwilling to let the rage inside of him grow into anything further, and force him to take out his frustration on the ranger. The heir of Gondor nodded, and began to explain the story behind the army of the dead, and their link with Isildur that had survived long centuries, Legolas barely listening as he forced his features into a calm he did not feel.
{You feel it growing inside, little one? The fury? The feelings you suppress every time…the feelings that shall soon wake…}
{Silence!}
{Do not dare to command me, little one…I am you, and you are…mine…}
{I am not…}
{Are you not, now? Do you not belong to yourself?}
{I…I…Do not confuse me, I am…}
{Do not command me, princeling…}
{I-I'm sorry…}
{Good little one…very good, indeed}
Aragorn stood up, and Legolas looked up at him with suddenly mild eyes. "Come!" the ranger cried, drawing his sword, and it flashed in the twilit hall of the Burg. "To the Stone of Erech! I seek the Paths of the Dead. Come with me who will!"
Legolas and Gimli made no answer, but they rose and followed Aragorn from the hall, Legolas focusing his eyes upon the ground. The voice did not lie…for if he was not the owner of his own thoughts…were his thoughts the owner of him?
On the green there waited, still and silent, the hooded Rangers. Legolas and Gimli mounted. Aragorn sprang upon Roheryn. Then Halbarad lifted a great horn, and the blast of it echoed in Helm's Deep; and with that they leapt away, riding down the Coomb like thunder, while all the men that were left on Dike or Burg stared in amaze.
To be continued
Please R&R, I need to know if this was worth the wait…and mostly if this is making sense to someone that is not myself…
English is my second language, so I apologize for any grammar or spelling mistakes made on the course of this story. I have taken any quotes from the books by J.R Tolkien adding my own lines in-between. Please R&R, this story shall soon be over, and I wish to see just how many reviews I can get *Smile*
Also, since I have something close to 4 chapters left, I wish to start the correction of each chapter. Is anyone out there willing to help me with the grammar?
As shameless publicity I am going to announce that I am co-writing a story with 'Minka', named "Distorted Reality", it is an AU with Elladan, Elrohir, Legolas and Aragorn as the main characters, very angst and action filled, just like we both like it *Grin* If you're interested in reading, then please go to my favorite author page and you will see our joint account there.
Now, onto chapter 26…
Master in Deceiving
By Yours Truly
{You must…you better}
Before he could think of the implications of the hiss inside his thoughts, he found himself in front of two identical faces, both of which were smiling at him pleasantly. He felt his stomach churn as he forced dark thoughts from his mind.
"Legolas of Mirkwood, long has it been since our last meeting" Elrohir said while he embraced the prince, stepping away to leave room for his brother. Elladan embraced Legolas as well, and the elf prince smiled at them both, hoping it would somehow reach his eyes.
"Indeed it has, my friends. You have not graced Mirkwood with your presence in years, and duty has given me little time to visit Rivendell before the Council" Legolas answered, as he let Elrohir lead the way towards a corner away from the men.
Elladan gave the prince a curious look, and Legolas knew he was about to remember just how straight forward the other elf could be. "What troubles you, Legolas? The last time we saw you, your pose was not rigid as I see it now, and I see a pain in your eyes that had not tormented you then"
Elrohir gave his brother a look, which his twin ignored, as he focused calm eyes on the blond elf in front of him. Legolas sighed and glanced from one to the other, knowing now was the time to prove if he could lie.
{Lie, lie to them you weakling, you already admitted weakness to Haldir and to his brothers, Lady Galadriel has seen it as well. Aragorn and Gimli barely trust you now…do you wish to loose the twins' friendship as well? Just because you're too weak, too much of a coward?}
{Would it not be cowardly to lie and hide?}
{Not when your life is at stake, Princeling, not when you will feel grief upon your heart as soon as you see their disapproving gazes}
{I am still a coward}
{Aye, you are…}
"Nothing troubles me Elladan" Legolas said at last, meeting the eyes that studied him with as much honesty as he could muster "The war and the bloodshed, the pull of the ring on a friend and the hardships of the fellowship have given me pain, with no time for grieving for it all. It has been overwhelming…which I believe is the reason I must look different to your eyes"
"Nay, Legolas" Elrohir interrupted softly "If you do not wish to tell us, you can keep your thoughts to yourself, but you would offend us if you continue to lie to our faces. Pain and grief…and something else lurks in your eyes…"
Legolas looked down and sighed, "I wish I could tell you…" he murmured
"What stops you?" Elladan questioned softly, searching the blue gaze that refused to meet his.
{The voice on my head} he thought mockingly
"Duty and a greater concern than my own troubled thoughts," Legolas said, meeting their eyes again "War comes now…I can grieve later"
Elrohir nodded and after a pause he spoke again "Just one question"
Legolas nodded his permission
"Are you alright?"
{Nay, nay I'm not, I'm not, I'm not!} His mind sobbed in vain, as his mouth curved in a gentle smile on the outside.
"Aye, my friends…nothing time will not heal"
{Is that so? You think with time your problems shall fade away? That if you wait long enough, the battle may never have to be fought?}
{Aye…nay…nay…I know not…}
{Do not dream, little one. One's problems do not fade away}
Elladan and Elrohir seemed unconvinced but the twins respected whatever reason Legolas had to keep silent, for they had no further reason to worry for his welfare in the time being. Legolas sighed in relief, and thanked Elbereth that the both of them had not arrived earlier in their travels, for they would have seen the madness that had threatened to consume him…that still was threatening him, to some extent.
He quickly turned the conversation into more pleasant matters, and in the midst of the camp they spoke of what had come to pass during the time they had been separated. Without realizing it; they had switched back to elvish and several curious stares were directed their way, for most of these riders were not used to the musical language that flowed easily between the three.
Time flew by, and soon Legolas knew that it was time to go check on his mortal friends. With a smile and a mock bow, he walked away from the twins, looking for any of the other familiar faces. He soon spotted Gimli, sharpening his axe in silent concentration. Legolas went and sat next to him, without saying anything, content with merely resting his mind away from the voice and away from his conscience, the latter of which was begging him to talk with someone…anyone…be it the twins of the next rider or Rohan he spotted.
When the noise from the axe stopped, Legolas turned to find Gimli's eyes trained upon him, searching for answers that not even Legolas had. The elf smiled at the dwarf, ignoring the unspoken questions hanging between them.
"I thought you would never notice me, Master dwarf, I was starting to consider throw an arrow at your head so you would know I was here"
Gimli shook his head, knowing full well what Legolas was doing. "Elf, why don't we go and find Merry? It shall soon be time for a meal, and I doubt the little one will be willing to miss that"
Glad that the dwarf did not voice any of the painfully obvious things to say, Legolas nodded as he gracefully leapt to his feet, training his eyes around the camp to spot the mop of curls that would belong a to a hobbit. Seeing it, he walked in its direction, hearing Gimli walk calmly beside him. The hobbit was asleep, and dead to the world, but the elf was unwilling to talk much with Gimli alone, afraid that he would have to face some of the things he had wanted to hide from, at least for some time…
{You see, little weakling? Running and hiding and lying, those seem like the only things you know well how to do}
Kneeling next to the sleeping form, Legolas woke him gently, shaking Merry's shoulder with a friendly grip.
"The Sun is high," said Legolas. "All others are up and doing. Come, Master Sluggard, and look at this place while you may!"
{The time is coming, little elf, you cannot hide in games and jokes, you cannot hide in fear and lack of courage…you simply cannot hide}
"There was a battle here three nights ago," said Gimli to the hobbit that stared sleepily at him, "and here Legolas and I played a game that I won only by a single orc. Come and see how it was! And there are caves, Merry, caves of wonder! Shall we visit them, Legolas, do you think?"
{Caves? How appropriate, do you not think little elf? Caves make wonderful tombs}
"Nay! There is no time," said the Elf with a calm voice that betrayed none of the terror the whisper brought in him. "Do not spoil the wonder with haste! I have given you my word to return hither with you, if a day of peace and freedom comes again. But it is now near to noon, and at that hour we eat, and then set out again, I hear."
Legolas watched as Merry got up slowly, getting dressed with no hurry. He could see as clearly as the day that Merry missed Pippin, but there was nothing to be done about it. He wished he could reassure the hobbit in someway, but how could he? If he was afraid that his friends might leave him behind, later, how could he tell Merry everything was fine, now that Pippin had gone ahead of him? He would feel the same, if not far worse than Merry if the positions were reversed, and he did not know how to appease the hurt that this had caused on the hobbit.
"Where is Aragorn?" Merry asked.
"In a high chamber of the Burg," answered Legolas softly. "He has neither rested nor slept, I think. He went thither some hours ago, saying that he must take thought, and only his kinsman, Halbarad, went with him; but some dark doubt or care sits on him."
{I will tell you of his dark doubt, little one} The voice suddenly hissed roughly, making Legolas' breathing hitch, luckily or maybe unluckily for him, not loud enough for his companions to hear {He doubts he can trust his best friend, he doubts your sanity, your strength! He doubts your every move, and he watches you carefully, waiting for your fall; awaiting the moment that he will have to kill you, to finish the threat that you represent}
{Stop this…}
{You know it is true, little Prince…}
{I know nothing!}
{You know everything…} The voice laughed, and suddenly, it was his voice no longer {You know everything, and you shall know more…you shall be aware of the extent of damage you can cause…you shall come to be familiar with the bigger side of you, the side you have repressed…}
The hiss was familiar, terrifying and seductive all at once, sounding as an invitation to open doors never before seen…as the temptation he no longer thought he could fight…
{What side?} His voice was no longer that of a warrior, but that of a child, and he could hear laughter ringing in his ears. Barely managing to do so, he followed the conversation going on in the outside, while forcing his mind to grasp his one opportunity for answers.
He needed to know…but could he…?
{The side that came up the first time you slain an orc, even while you knew its brethren was once the same as yours. You remember, don't you little one? Remember your reaction? Your delight?}
{What…}
{Remember your laughter?}
And he could…he remembered it clearly. The orc lay slain before him, a pool of black blood spilling on the grass, and even with the knowledge that this creatures' ancestors had been elves, he had smiled…he had laughed softly, to himself, a cold empty laugh that now shook him to the bone.
{That is no side of me…that was…I was…my first war party, my first kill…I was a warrior then…}
{And you are a warrior now, and still you enjoy it, don't you princeling? Enjoy the rush, the power and the strength that you undergo…you still laugh, don't you?}
{Nay! I do not!}
{You still smile don't you?}
{Nay, nay, nay! Do not say such things, they are nothing but deception!}
{Are they?}
{Stop this! These are times of war!}
{And don't you enjoy the prospect? Doesn't it enlighten your heart to know you shall feel the power once more?}
{Nay…nay…Mirkwood might be in danger, my people might suffer if we fail this. If we fail in this war of men…}
{Aye, princeling, 'tis a war of men. What do you do in here, then? Why do you fight if not by your own sardonic pleasure? You know Gimli fights out of duty, just as he knows that he enjoys a good battle…but you? You feel pleasure from it…}
{Nay!}
{Open your eyes, little one…see the truth…}
{Please…}
{Do not beg noting of me, little one…'tis only you…}
"…Word came to Rivendell, they say: 'Aragorn has need of his kindred. Let the Dúnedain ride to him in Rohan!' But whence this message came they are now in doubt. Gandalf sent it, I would guess" Gimli was saying and Legolas found logic among his inner distractions.
"Nay, Galadriel," said the elf softly. "Did she not speak through Gandalf of the ride of the Grey Company from the North?"
"Yes, you have it," said Gimli. "The Lady of the Wood! She read many hearts and desires. Now why did not we wish for some of our own kinsfolk, Legolas?"
Legolas stood before the gate and turned his bright eyes away north and east, his thoughts filled with anxiety and desperation. A pang of guilt of realization made his heart shudder in his chest, and his fair face was now visibly troubled. "I do not think that any would come," he answered. "They have no need to ride to war; war already marches on their own lands."
The three companions marched onwards, after the discouraging words of the elf. Gimli did not contradict his words, for he knew his elven companion's thoughts were troubled, but now he felt distressed. Was it a shadow he had seen in Legolas' eyes as he spoke? Was it truly darkness what now was hidden behind deep blue eyes?
They went to the midday meal in the hall of the Burg, where the King was already seated. The man called Merry to his side, leaving Gimli and Legolas behind, sharing a silence loaded with emotions. Finally the dwarf gave up in trying to ignore his doubts and fears; opening his mouth to question the elf, he closed it once more when he noticed the far away look in his companion' countenance.
{Acknowledge your true nature, little elf…}
{True nature…I do not know of what you speak…}
{You can fool them all, but me, little one, acknowledge your real thoughts, everything you feel behind the façade of nobility. You have not a righteous bone in your body!}
{Just leave me be…}
{Answer something, little one}
{I do not wish to!}
{But you shall}
{I…I shall…}
{Good, little one. Answer something for me now…Do you not like the sight of blood?}
{W-What?!…That…I…nay! Of course not! How could I-?}
{Answer truthfully…}
{That vile substance is foul! Of course I do not like it…so dark and thick…}
{Not Orcan blood, little one…your own…your life force, deep red and so rich…}
{I…I…I do not wish to think of this, I do not wish to-}
{ANSWER ME!}
Gimli was flabbergasted when a small sound escaped the silent elf…a whimper…so soft it would have been his imagination, but the endless pools of blue on his friend's pale face spoke of grief beyond anyone's knowledge.
{Aye}
The dwarf assumed the elf had been listening the King's conversation, when the man had told Merry he should ride with him. Sympathetic to the grief of separation, Gimli placed a hand gently on the elf's shoulder and Legolas was shaken away from his musings, loosing the concentration he needed to focus on his inner conflict. Placing a fake smile upon his lips, he turned to Gimli and nodded his head in silent thanks, for whatever had possessed the dwarf to try and comfort him. Legolas feared his thoughts would soon become too obvious to ignore, even on the outside…
Then, Éomer came out from the gate, and with him was Aragorn, and Halbarad bearing the great staff close-furled in black, and two tall men, neither young nor old. So much alike were they, the sons of Elrond, that few could tell them apart: dark-haired, grey-eyed, and their faces elven-fair, clad alike in bright mail beneath cloaks of silver-grey. Behind them walked Legolas and Gimli in grim silence, whose faces sobered even further when they saw the change in Aragorn. The man was exhausted and burdened beyond what was healthy…almost beyond what was possible. Legolas felt his heart constrict when he saw his friend in this state, and his guilt was immense when he thought in how much of that weariness might come from his friend's worry for his welfare.
The man walked towards the King's horse and spoke with the royal man, as Merry looked and listened to the worrying words being spoken. The elf saw this happen yet he did not come close, content with being able to see what was transpiring. He needed no further burdens…he could not afford to concern himself with every detail any longer…he could barely handle anything on his current state of mind. Doubts, fears and horrible truths slapped him in the face, without anything new being added to the mix. There was enough inside of him to make him wish to stay away from further complications.
Yet when Aragorn walked back to the table of the Hall in silent mourning, and Legolas could see that the King's men and the little Merry had departed, he could worry about himself no longer, choosing instead to focus his attentions on his dear friend, over his own crumbling thoughts.
The silence stretched on until it was no longer bearable, and Legolas finally spoke "Come!" said Legolas at last. "Speak and be comforted, and shake off the shadow! What has happened since we came back to this grim place in the grey morning?"
"A struggle somewhat grimmer for my part than the battle of the Hornburg," answered Aragorn, looking up to meet his friend's gaze. "I have looked in the Stone of Orthanc, my friends."
The elf froze and the breath left him in a rush, blissfully covered by Gimli's voice as he exclaimed his weariness at the mention of the stone. Legolas looked down onto the table and blocked out the conversation between his friends' as he tried to collect his thoughts into some semblance of order and calm.
{The stone…}
{What did you see there, young one?}
{The…the…}
{Your doom, was it not?}
{My fate?}
{Aye}
{How-nay…why?}
{Do you not ride to face the Dark Lord…or do you ride to war and bloodshed?}
{I know not…I know nothing, any longer!}
{You know too well…that is your dilemma}
"The Paths of the Dead!" said Gimli loudly, startling Legolas out of his thought, once more. "It is a fell name; and little to the liking to the Men of Rohan, as I saw. Can the living use such a road and not perish? And even if you pass that way, what will so few avail to counter the strokes of Mordor?"
"The living have never used that road since the coming of the Rohirrim," said Aragorn gravely, studying the faces of his friends "for it is closed to them. But in this dark hour the heir of Isildur may use it, if he dare. Listen! This is the word that the sons of Elrond bring to me from their father in Rivendell, wisest in lore: Bid Aragorn remember the words of the seer, and the Paths of the Dead."
"And what may be the words of the seer?" asked Legolas evenly, unaffected unlike Gimli with the course they were to take.
"Thus spoke Malbeth the Seer, in the days of Arvedui, last king at Fornost,' said Aragorn:
Over the land there lies a long shadow,
Westward reaching wings of darkness.
The Tower trembles; to the tombs of kings
Doom approaches. The Dead awaken;
For the hour is come for the oathbreakers;
At the Stone of Erech they shall stand again
And hear there a horn in the hills ringing.
Whose shall the horn be? Who shall call them
From the prey twilight, the forgotten people?
The heir of him to whom the oath they swore.
From the North shall he come, need shall drive him:
He shall pass the Door to the Paths of the Dead.
"Dark ways doubtless," said Gimli, and Legolas nodded to himself "but no darker than these staves are to me."
"If you would understand them better, then I bid you come with me," said Aragorn, looking pointedly at each of them, lingering his grey gaze upon his elven friend; "for that way I now shall take. But I do not go gladly; only need drives me. Therefore, only of your free will would I have you come, for you will find both toil and great fear, and maybe worse."
This time there was no mistake on whom was Aragorn addressing his words to, for his gaze was fully concentrated on the troubled blue gaze of Legolas who seemed distant, and unaffected by this new turn of events. Aragorn wished to make his friend understand the perils they now stood against, yet Legolas remained passive, and answered his gaze with a subtle nod.
"I will go with you even on the Paths of the Dead, and to whatever, end they may lead," said Gimli, watching the interchange with Legolas without interrupting.
"I also will come," said Legolas determinately, his voice betraying none of his doubts "for I do not fear the Dead."
Aragorn seemed pained by his answer, obviously wishing to protect the elf, and Legolas found himself angry with his friend. Shaking off his feelings as inappropriate he looked away from the eyes studying him, unwilling to let the rage inside of him grow into anything further, and force him to take out his frustration on the ranger. The heir of Gondor nodded, and began to explain the story behind the army of the dead, and their link with Isildur that had survived long centuries, Legolas barely listening as he forced his features into a calm he did not feel.
{You feel it growing inside, little one? The fury? The feelings you suppress every time…the feelings that shall soon wake…}
{Silence!}
{Do not dare to command me, little one…I am you, and you are…mine…}
{I am not…}
{Are you not, now? Do you not belong to yourself?}
{I…I…Do not confuse me, I am…}
{Do not command me, princeling…}
{I-I'm sorry…}
{Good little one…very good, indeed}
Aragorn stood up, and Legolas looked up at him with suddenly mild eyes. "Come!" the ranger cried, drawing his sword, and it flashed in the twilit hall of the Burg. "To the Stone of Erech! I seek the Paths of the Dead. Come with me who will!"
Legolas and Gimli made no answer, but they rose and followed Aragorn from the hall, Legolas focusing his eyes upon the ground. The voice did not lie…for if he was not the owner of his own thoughts…were his thoughts the owner of him?
On the green there waited, still and silent, the hooded Rangers. Legolas and Gimli mounted. Aragorn sprang upon Roheryn. Then Halbarad lifted a great horn, and the blast of it echoed in Helm's Deep; and with that they leapt away, riding down the Coomb like thunder, while all the men that were left on Dike or Burg stared in amaze.
To be continued
Please R&R, I need to know if this was worth the wait…and mostly if this is making sense to someone that is not myself…