I hate him.

Looking out from the corner of my eye, I can see him smiling loosely as always. Smiling as if there's not a worry in the god damned world. He laughs out loud along with football and Horohoro, at something I have no idea about. It's be a lie if I said I feel a bit left out, but I suppose it's my problem for not listening in the first place.

I feel irritated.

That girl goes up to him and I can see him tense up, and smiles weakly at her giving her some excuse for slacking off with us.

"Yoh, I thought I told you to do 50 laps around the block."
"Ahhh, I need some rest, na Anna? I'm only human…"
"Make that 60."
"Anna!"

Everyday scene. I sigh. He has no strength to stand up to that abusive to be wife, and he dejectedly stands up to begin his training. As he walks by he gives me a smile, but I look away. I don't want half-hearted feelings. I know it's my fault for falling for him in the first place. He was taken. I knew it, but I had to fucking fall for some loose jerk who can't even say what he wants in life. I hate him for it. I hate him for not being able to reject his family, his fiancée, his binds. But then again I think I'm asking for too much. It's not like I don't know what it feels like to reject your background.

But I hate myself the most for allowing this to happen.

"Ren, where 're you going?" Horohoro asks me, as I stand up and walk out.
"None of our business." I say, snorting. He looks a bit offended. Nothing new there.

I walk down the street, away from all the people. Maybe it's an excuse to get as far away as possible from him and that girl. That girl. My luck turns from me, as the person in mind was right up ahead of me, with a stop watch, obviously timing her fiancée. I grimace, and try to seek an alternative route away from her, but realize it's a straight road with no where else to go. No choice, I try and walk by her, ignoring her. My bad luck seems to prevail as Yoh comes jogging up.

"Ren!" he smiles, looking as though he was about to collapse into a pile of jelly. I sigh.
"Yoh, keep going." A verbal whip from his fiancée prints a defeated smile on his face as he goes past me, and past that girl.

He's disappeared from our view, and I was about to head off again.

"Ren."

The girl commands for me to stop. I stop. Gods know why I did, but everyone would agree with me that it is very hard to ignore Anna Kyouyama's commanding voice. I turn to face her. Her face was a vicious one. I'd never seen her like so until today. Never, would I have thought that she was capable of creating such a dark face. Was it hatred? I shuddered, uncontrollably.

"Ren."

She says again. I frown slightly. What does she want? Her mouth created the words, slowly.

"Keep your paws off him."

My mind blanks.

"You make him lose concentration. You make him lose track. He's meant to become Shaman King, and that's that." She crosses her arms., and closes her eyes. "I don't need you misleading him."
"Misleading!" I yell, a bit too loudly. "How the hell am I the one misleading him? What have I ever done…"

"Don't think I haven't noticed the way you look at him." She coolly glares at me. Her eyes are cold. I shudder again.

"You follow him everywhere he goes, with your eyes if not physically."

"You're always next to him, when it should be me."

"He confides in you, not me."

"Just because I'm not around doesn't mean you can take him from me."

"Stop dogging around him."

I can't say anything. The words are stuck in my throat. I bite my lip, hard. I can taste blood. "… I never asked for his attention…" I begin weakly. Anna laughs.
"You expect me to believe that? Why do you even dress the way you do? Showing a bit too much flesh, aren't we you little whore?"

"That's enough!" I yell, and point my Houraiken at her. Out of blind rage. She doesn't flinch.
"Threatening me, are we?" she says. Her face is still unchanging. I bite my lip again. More blood. Of course I can't kill her. I don't even want to. Just because what she says is true. Besides, if I killed her, I can never look at Yoh. I feel defeated. Why does he plague me, cause me so much trouble? I put my sword away, and turn away. Walking away.

As I walk to the end of the block, I see Yoh turning the corner. He waves at me. I ignore him. Maybe I hurt him a bit. But then again, why would he be hurt? I know he loves that girl. And that's the way it should be. Guy loves girl, that's the natural way things should be. He shouldn't love me. In fact, I don't think he ever did. He loves everybody, not in that kind of way…but he cares so much for every single being on this earth. I'm just one in a million. I should get high hopes out of my mind. I walk out, not thinking where I was headed. I some how ended up on the outskirts of the Pachi Village. No people here. So I thought.

"Now what do we have here?"

Voice of a person I really didn't need to meet. I groan internally. I turn around sluggishly to see the face identical to Yoh's. Identical, perhaps. But Yoh would never smile like that. As if hiding something.

"What are you doing here? You usually don't stray from the rest of your pack?"
"None of your business Hao." I say, heavily. I try to stay indifferent, try to hide my emotions. But I don't think it's working.
"Oh but it is my business if it has anything to do with Yoh and yourself." His smile widens, as his eyes narrow. I don't like the way he looks at me.

"Yoh has nothing to do with this." I say, at try to get away from him. But I can't. My feet are rooted into the ground. Fear?
"I'm sure it does." He says, chuckling. Maybe that's not the right way to describe it: sniggering. "If not you wouldn't look so defeated and confused."
"I'm not defeated…" I start again, weakly. I look down. Why is it that today I can't be confident? Anna's words come to mind. "I don't need you misleading him." Fuck, if anything it's him that's misleading me, confusing me, losing me.

"You don't sound very convincing." Hao says, right next to me. I gasp and look up to find his faces inches away from mine. I didn't realize he got so close so quickly. I feel threatened. I jump back, away from him and take a defensive pose. He laughs. "No need to be so edgy. I wouldn't kill you." I think internally that I wouldn't trust anything he says. I still stand there, heart beating like a machine out of control.

"It was that little bitch, wasn't it?" Hao says dangerously. I flinch. He smirks. "You're a bit obvious when you do that Ren. What did she say to you? Something along the lines of "Keep your paws off him"?" Something along the lines of! I wonder if he was secretly observing the incident that took place between us.

"Ren, there's a solution to all of this…" he starts.

"You can join me."

He approaches me.

"My answer stays the same as last time." I say, gritting my teeth. Even if Yoh won't choose me, I would never betray him. I would have inched back, but again, I was rooted to the ground. This time, it was defiantly fear. There was something maniacal in his eyes.

"Ren, Ren, Ren… it's nothing that bad… besides, I'll appreciate you much more that Yoh ever will…" Next thing I know something slammed into me and I hit a tree. Me and my fucking luck will have it that I should smash into a tree. I hate this. All of it. I wince and open my eyes sluggishly, only to find Hao right in front of me. Again. Face inches away from mine.

"…Very nice…" he murmurs and grasps my face. My eyes widen. "From the first time I saw you I thought there was something about the eyes…" he lowers his lips towards mine. I panic, but can't do anything. Weakly grasping his arm I try to push him away, but he doesn't budge. His lips come in contact with mine. My mind flares, finally kicking in. Who the fuck does he think he is…

I feel Hao tense, and he slowly draws away from me. His lip is bleeding. I can taste the foul red liquid on my tongue and teeth. He narrows his eyes. I think that he's going to kill me. What a way to die: Tao Ren falls to the other world by biting Hao the all mighty. There's something wrong with that statement. But Hao grins slyly, obviously oblivious to my internal thoughts. He licks his lips, tasting his own blood. "I like those with a bit of spark in them…" he roughly pushes me up against the tree, and kisses me violently. I have no time to retaliate. His tongue forces its way into my mouth, and I feel as though I'm to vomit. I choke as he slides his tongue underneath mine, as I dig my nails into Hao's upper arm, oxygen deprived. My knees get weak, as I slide down the tree trunk, now sitting on the ground. Hao draws back from me, as air blesses my lungs. I realize my breath is rising slightly. Hao smirks.
"Any second thoughts?"
"Fuck off." I bite back.
"Don't be so scary." He laughs, and pulls me sideward slightly so that I have nothing to lean on. I fall backwards to the ground, my hands pinned to either side of my head. Hao looks down on me, smiling cruelly. Panic strikes me again.

"Ren, there's another way to make things easier for you…" he whispers into my ear.

"…I'll let you forget all of this…"

"…all about the others…"

"…all about Yoh…"

"…then the pain will be gone…"

"No!" I yell. I try to struggle, but all to no avail. He has me firmly pinned down.

"If you forget, there's no guilt, no nothing, no strings attached…" Hao smiles serenely now, and covers my face with one hand. I feel an immense pain crack across my forehead. A white, glaring pain strikes my mind, piercing images swallowed up by this one point. Backbeforethecafeannaabusesmeandyohrunspastsmilingand eatinginatthecafereachiingthepachivillagehaoandifi rstmetheaskedmetojoinhimisaidhellnoyohandtheotherscarefo rmeicantleavethemtheysav edmeinchinathetimeyohsaidhelikesmeiwasnts ureifhemeantinthatwaybutheseemedsosincereandbeforehwefou ghtintheshamanfightforthesecondtimebeforethatilostandthatwasthefirsttimeifeltsome thngofhimwhenceihadthoughthewasasulessfeelingmoronwhowasasoftielikeeveryonee lsehateredru ledthe worldandthatwasthewaythingsweretobehatefamilyhateredruledki llingkillingyoh…

And then I blank.

------------------------------------------

Chapter 1 for this series...I guess this is like a continuation of Raw Expression (funny how all my fics seem to be centred around that one fic...). I'm so sorry for making Anna sound like such a bitch, but really, I can love her! Like when she bitchslaps Hao...bahahahaha.

Yes, so this should be interesting where it heads. I'll lead it to places depending on what people seem to want...try something new for a change.