Strange and Beautiful Chapter 2: Just Don't Need This, an artemis fowl fanfic

Ok, so I lied. Last-but-one songfic. This is what Holly feels for Chix. I felt she deserved a say in it as well. Not quite so sloppy, as you may well have guessed.

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. The lyrics belong to the sugababes and whoever wrote this song, and Chix Verbil, Holly Short and any other characters who happen to gate-crash this fic belong to Eoin Colfer.

A/N: The words in italics are the words of a song by the sugababes called 'just don't need this'. It's an album track, so if you have the album, look out for it. 'Tis a very good song… Oh yeah, and I re-wrote the fifth line, as the original was 'Probably be older than daddy'. The only line that didn't fit (not that it really fits with the actual song now, but whatever. Bear with me here). I'll leave you to read the damn thing now, shall I?

*****

Look across the room

I see some guy

Steaming over me

Captain Short looked up from her desk to see Chix Verbil hanging around the water-cooler. His eyes, wouldn't you know it, where fixed directly on her. Holly ground her teeth. Here we go again, she thought.

He's smirking sleazy

Probably be thinking something dirty

What the hell did he want now? Holly just hoped he'd leave before he got caught. Commander Root had been non-too-happy to find the sprite malingering in his department when he'd blocked his way to the coffee machine last week. Although his reason for being there had not been explicitly expressed, Holly was pretty confident that Root knew why. She didn't want to think about how he'd react to finding him again.

Since you smiled

My expression has changed

Come any closer

Things will be constrained

D'Arvit! thought Holly, as the private took a cautious look around him and started towards her desk. She really wasn't in the mood to deal with Chix Verbil, and any confrontation was likely to end in a small explosion of the verbal kind. Time to make a quick getaway, she decided.

I walk past looking good

Doesn't give you the right

To put that hand where you think that you should

Holly threaded her way out of the mess that was her desk and beat a hasty retreat to the Operations Room. As she reached the corridor, Verbil leaned casually against the doorframe, blocking her exit. She tried to ignore the look he was giving her – a slow up-and-down look that she detested more than anything else. "Excuse me." she growled, shouldering her way past, pretending not to notice the way he leaned towards her.

Not this girl

Not this world

Just step off

Had enough

When would he ever learn that she wasn't interested? That no female was interested in a man like him? Well, apart from Lili Frond. But no. Chix had chosen Holly as the main victim for his misplaced advances, and there didn't seem to be anything she could do about it, short of shooting him with her Neutrino.

You're no good

I'm no fool

I just don't need this

It wasn't as if this was the first time he'd caused a problem. Holly cringed at the mere memory of the tribunal following the time he got himself shot in the wing. She remembered trying to explain to the council why she had allowed him to abandon caution. Nightmare. Especially as they seemed determined to make her spell it out to them.

Not this girl

Not this world

Just step off

Had enough

She had considered lodging a complaint, but what good would that do? It would just inform virtually everyone in the LEP that there was a problem. As if she needed more people reminded how entirely un-male she was.

You're no good

I'm no fool

I just don't need this

Entirely unprofessional, that was what he was. Mixing work with your personnel life never worked. She'd have thought even he would have seen that.

Foaly gave her a sympathetic look as she entered the booth. "Again?" he asked softly. Holly glared. "Fair enough. You don't want to talk about it." He picked up a box of disks. "Well, seeing as you're here, you can take these to Commander Root. It's the new database he demanded non-too-politely. And then expected me to run it over to him." Holly snatched the disks and left before he could get stuck in.

I don't want any man

To tell me what to do

Anyone to say to me

My feelings are not true

Holly was leaving Police Plaza at the end of a long shift when Verbil appeared from nowhere.

"Hey Cap. How you doing?" Holly had barely opened her mouth to reply when he was off again. "Hows about you and me go to that bar down the street. Have a couple of drinks. Unwind. On me."

Holly clenched her fists. "I don't think so, Chix." she said, fighting to keep her voice civil. "I'm going home. Thanks, but no thanks."

She turned away, but he caught her arm. Holly wrenched it from his grip, and continued on her way.

For your information

I maintain my station

"Some other time then." he called after her.

Holly shook her head gently. In your dreams, she thought to herself. You may have forgotten we work together, but I haven't. And I'm not stupid enough to get into a relationship with someone like you.

Feel so incredible

Don't need no man to tell me where to go

Coz this is all you know

He was just so… dominating. Ugh. Guys like him felt they needed to be in control. Like it was their right. Holly shuddered. Why wouldn't he just leave her alone?

Not this girl

Not this world

Just step off

Had enough

You're no good

I'm no fool

I just don't need this

Not this girl

Not this world

Just step off

Had enough

You're no good

I'm no fool

I just don't need this
Just don't need this…

He was always hanging about, staring at her. Ever since he'd lost the flight in his wing, he'd been stuck doing paperwork for Customs and Excise, putting him in the same building and rather too close for comfort. He always seemed to find an excuse to come up – Root's signature was needed, C and E had a problem that required Foaly's attention, the coffee machine on his floor was broken…

I'll go wherever I know that you won't go

I don't have to tango with your ego

And that's just because I said so

Holly had to actively avoid him when she was at Police Plaza. At least she was free on Recon assignments. No enamoured sprites then. Oh no. More like whiny centaurs and bloodthirsty criminals, though an improvement none-the-less.

The way I'm feeling now is mental

The problem first starts in your dental

It was beginning to drive her slowly crazy, this constant dance she was forced to perform around him. Had he not ever looked in a mirror? He wasn't good-looking in any shape or form, though he acted as though he was a drop-dead-gorgeous movie star of some kind.

I can't believe they let you in this place

But have they seen the look on your face?

Your face…

It was anyone's guess how he had gotten into the LEP in the first place. Mind you, the same could be said for several officers Holly knew, mentioning no names… Captain Short had hoped that at least a female secretary, technician, or any other girl forced to endure his attentions would have made a complaint, but nobody had. Maybe they were just used to it. The buzz-baton gleaming at her belt usually acted as an effective deterrent, but not for Chix.

Holly sighed.

Just don't need this…

*****

Angsty, huh? Sorry, laid on the self-pity a bit thick. Oh well. What did you expect? It's a songfic. Hope you liked it.

You know the drill… REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!! Flames, while not my favourite type of review, will be understood fully.

To those who know me from Strictly Ballroom, and give a remote damn about it, never fear, it's coming soon… I just have to finish writing it…

slime xxx – ARTEMIS FOWL MUST FIND MULCH DIGGUMS!!! SPREAD THE WORD!!!