Chapter 4: Unexpected Awareness
"Do want sugar in your tea?"
And my gaze snaps up to the soft face of the woman across the table, her warm and inviting eyes something I hadn't expected on this trip to the old orphanage. I had been expecting Rinoa's memory to be far too great, to plague me as she did so everyday at Garden and every night in my dreams, but Edea brought about calmness in me that had not been experienced for well over a year now yet I felt saturated with it after only being here for four days. The serene atmosphere and the vast field of flowers behind the rebuilt building were oddly comforting even though I can vividly remember Rinoa and me standing in that very meadow making a promise to each other. Sometimes I have to wonder if she really meant any of it. . . if she really loved me as I had her. But then I remember what was done to me and such thoughts are pushed from my mind.
Did it matter now? Now that she was gone, was it really important whether she loved me or not? I suppose it wasn't, but a part of me was still curious. . . another said she could rot in Hades' lair for all I care. For now, I think I'll agree with the latter. So, I was bitter. . . I had every right to be.
"Hey, earth to Squall." A pair of fingers snaps me out of my thoughts and my eyes remove themselves from our Matron as she begins spooning out sugar in my tea, courtesy of Seifer's request that had just brought me back out of my head. "You're doing it again."
With a mock glare, I merely sip the tea that is offered to me, a twinge of a smile curling my lips that are hidden behind the china cup as Seifer lets out a heartfelt laugh.
Eyes of turbulent jade lock with my own of darkened aqua and my "rival" is trying to stare me down and beat me in a glaring contest. He, of all people, should know I never lose at these things. "Don't give me that look, Leonhart."
So I merely roll my eyes and let him win just this once. It was pity, really. Perhaps not, though. . . I just wanted to look away before a soft smile curled my lips, but I'm afraid I'm already too late.
"You have a lovely smile," she says in that amazingly tranquil voice of hers. I often find it hard to believe this is the same Sorceress Edea whom I had once fought against. Then again, I often think the same thing of Seifer.
In fact, most of my musings have been revolving around him and I haven't the slightest idea why. More often than not, I reflect on how he was just a few years ago, just how much the man had changed. Sometimes I have to wonder if we would be this close if it weren't for what had been done to me. I would like to think yes, but in all honesty, we probably wouldn't. This sudden need for him to care for me took me by surprise, but I rather liked it. It was good not having to be the one whom everyone looked to for once. Now that was Quistis' job.
She is doing a fine job as headmaster, too. The woman is always so calm and collected that sometimes I find myself thinking: this is how Garden should have been run; you're the perfect person for the job. And she is.
Without knowing it, a conversation has already begun around me between Seifer and Matron. They're discussing the plans to construct this orphanage into a bed and breakfast or a safe way for SeeDs. I think it's a splendid idea, but when asked my opinion I only offer a tiny smile and approving nod.
Seifer scowls at my silence and reaches over to ruffle my hair. I've gotten past pulling away or flinching. For that, I think he is proud. I'm able to receive comforting hugs and friendly pats without cringing or looking away in shame. What had happened to me wasn't my fault, I acknowledge that much. So as his large hands tousle rust colored strands into my face I merely grin and huff, watching the locks of hair moving away with the sudden pant of breath.
Edea catches our antics and smiles wistfully, her dark eyes looking out towards the field of beautifully in bloom plant life. "Cid would have loved to see you two getting along so well."
I watch in my muted state as Seifer nods some to this comment before his glance is cast in the same direction as Matron's.
Since they're both preoccupied I take this time to study the elderly woman who still appeared to be in her early thirties. So fragile looking she was, with her slim features and long black hair. And those eyes. . .they seemed to distant, so lonely as she stared out into the vast land beyond the plated glass that separated us from the wildlife out beyond. Do my eyes look like that? Do they have that same forlorn look to them? I would imagine so at times. She must be so lonesome now that Cid had passed on.
She had done a remarkable job with the place so far. The orphanage was rebuilt into a two story stone building with three rooms on the top floor along with two bathrooms. The lower level had been constructed with a larger kitchen, a small dining area, and a lounging room. Edea had commented that Seifer had helped draw out the designs. I never knew he was gifted in architect. Well, I also didn't know he could be so caring at times until just these last few months.
My mind lingered to the vague memories I had of this place as a child, most none too happy, but there were a couple that had a cheerful air to them and usually brought about a miniscule smile.
"Matron! Seifer took my chocobo plushie again!" Zell cried out as he sniffled with an onslaught of tears.
The stuffed bird was promptly shoved back into the younger blond's arms, the older once scowling as best as a six year old could. "You're such a cry baby, Zell."
"'Least I'm not in wuv wit' Squall~!!!"
This memory is cut short. It's a new one because I don't recall having heard the last comment before and it stuns me. Yet as much as I rack my brain for this incident, I cannot complete what else was said that my mind seemed to have long lost. But these were the words of an immature five year old. An immature child by the name of Zell Dincht so that pretty much took care of that. Still, it left a smile upon my lips as I joined the other two in staring out into the field of flowers.
"I'll be here."
"Why?"
"I'll be waiting here. . ."
"For what?"
And this time the memory does not bother me. . .
"I'll be waiting for you so. . . if you come here. . . you'll find me."
Because I'm not thinking about her. . . I'm thinking about him.
"I promise."
Seifer Almasy.
A/N: Finally! x_x I never thought I'd get this chapter up because I have just been constantly busy all summer. I'm sorry if I kept any of you waiting on this chapter. Please, continue to review and I'm open for any suggestions for the plot. Thank you so much. Remember: The reader makes the writer by fueling his muse.