Disclaimer, Hey sorry to all you ppl wanting to make some money by suing
me, but well, ya picked the wrong girl, I sure as hell don't own the G-
Boys, if I did, then GW would have been ruled by the 1x2 pairing
looooooooong ago.
Warnings. This is a Yaoi, ficcie that is Male x Male romance, if ya don't like don't read, simple as that.
This chappie is very angsty, and there is some swearing.
*.Blah.* = Emphasised words
".Blah." = speech
.Blah. = Thoughts
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Hey ya, Lora here, I am writing this W/O the help of my super Co-Author Jessie, so if it sucks, ya know why. This is some delusional idea that my muse (Twowa) shoved into my head while I was on the bus, about two months ago, and I finally wrote it down.
While this may appear to be a death ficcie, I assure you guys that it isn't, I tried to write one once, but it depressed me too much. I hope I will live up to my name as the sappiness fairy, for as soon I get this lil o'll bit of angst outta the way, it will be a pleasant mix of romance fluff and sappiness all the way home, unless u guys think I should do it differently!!!!!
I hope you enjoy, please tell me if I should post more!!!! This is in Duos POV.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I know how I must look, limping, braid a mess, soaked black clothing clinging to my slight frame, covered in mud and dripping with my blood.
I press a hand against the bullet wound in my side; it hurts like nothing I have ever felt, but yet ... I can't stop walking. I have walked so far, but yet, I can't face going back, I can't face him.
I love him, I love everything about him, his unruly chocolate hair, his dark, seemingly emotionless blue eyes and even, and this will sound pathetic, his threats, they are the only things he ever says to me, if he ever told me anything else I am sure I would still love it, but he never does and I doubt he ever will.
I fucked up real bad today, it was meant to be an easy mission drive in, blow up, drive away, I completed it, but at what cost? The lives of the earth's innocent citizens that's what. So many of them died unnecessarily today, and it was my fault!
I should have been focused on what I was doing, not my troubles, he will be so ashamed of me, all I want is his respect, I think I had it for a while, when I held my tongue, but if I did then I have lost it now.
I blew up the headquarters, but I placed one of the charges to near to an apartment block on the west side, the whole thing went up, no one there was left alive, Shinigami strikes again. I will never be free of him!
The rain still falls, I have walked miles. I am not heading anywhere in particular, just as far away from him as I can. I am not afraid of him, I want nothing more than to be close to him, but as things stand I am in no condition to ride a motorbike, and walking back to the safe house would attract far too much unwanted attention, it would endanger the missions, it would endanger the Gundams and it would endanger Heero.
If it had been one of the others back a the safe house, Quatre or Trowa, maybe even WuFei, they would endanger themselves and come looking for me, but as it is Heero I have nothing to fear from that.
He would never endanger the mission to search for a missing pilot, he even trusts me enough now not to come after me to try and kill me, at least I think he does after last time, when he came, and yet decided to let me live.
It really doesn't bother me that much. It would be heaven for me to know that my angel cared for me, but I would rather he was safe.
It nearly killed me when he self detonated, I wonder if he would ever feel that way about me? It's too late to be wondering about that now I will die soon. I must have lost a lot of blood by now, but I am not afraid. Death has stalked me all my life, and now he will claim me.
This was how I always expected to go, in or after a battle, alone. Gundam pilots are not destined for love and company ... Or are we. Look at Q-man and Tro; they are in love, even if they don't think we all know. But then ... Quatre really doesn't fit like the rest of us do.
Trowa, Heero, WuFei and myself, all killers without a thought. It might get to us afterwards through nightmares and flashbacks, but by then its too late, we cannot change a thing. Quatre always feels grief as, and even before he kills, that is why he deserves love.
I stop; I have walked across what I earlier discovered to be farmland, about four miles of it. I have reached a small village. Its quaint, small thatched cottages lie along either side of a winding high street. It's beautiful, I stand and watch.
An elderly couple emerge from one of the dwellings. The woman holds a cane in one hand, and her husbands arm in the other.
He helps he down the step from their front door. He takes an umbrella from her and as they begin to walk, he holds it up above both their heads. She leans against him as they stop and take a seat under a bus shelter; he takes her hand in his, and kisses it gently before relaxing against the bench, still under the umbrella.
They are lucky. They have shared the company of the one they love for maybe fifty years, who can tell. And they have lived long lives knowing that they will never be alone. They have had someone there when the go to sleep each night, and woken up to that same persons face every morning.
What I wouldn't give for a life like that with Heero. But our lives were always destined to be short. None of my comrades expects to see the end of the wars. My time with my love has been short, and that time has also been spent without him knowing how I feel. I could never tell him.
It's not that I feared he would hurt, or even kill me. In fact I can't think of a way I would rather have gone, than by his hand ... Oh God that's morbid. But any way, I just couldn't face the fact that if he said no, I would have been broken, and I don't doubt that I would have taken the cowards way out and shot myself. But even that doesn't matter any more; I won't live to see another day.
My legs give way, I can't stand, my head feels light and my vision is blurred, the ground is wet beneath me, and it sends a cold wave up my back. I can't stand, this is it, alone and cold like I always knew it would be.
My eyes are closing, all I can think of is Heero, I love him so much, he is my world, he is my night, he is my day, he is the air that I breathe, and without him. I will die.
The world is becoming darker, quieter. Then, from some far-distant place, I hear his voice
"Duo ... No, Don't leave me Duo!"
Black ...
I feel as though I am sinking, down, down, down, to unimaginable depth, for some unknown length of time. But then the darkness recedes, the world becomes a mixture of greys, this must be it, I must be dead, and then I hear ..... I hear *voices?*
"Look, his pulse is back to normal, Oh Trowa look, he is going to wake up!" *Quatre?* I cant be dead! I slowly open my eyes and find myself in a small dank room, I look around and my gaze meets the tear filled aqua eyes, of a person who is my closest friend.
Lora-There, chappie one all over, should this be a one shot, should I leave it there, I need you guys to let me know. Twowa- Why would they want more, they have more taste then that!!!
Lora- *sulks* Please leave a review, I need the to keep my demon case of writers block at bay, it will make me work more on all my ficcies!!!
Warnings. This is a Yaoi, ficcie that is Male x Male romance, if ya don't like don't read, simple as that.
This chappie is very angsty, and there is some swearing.
*.Blah.* = Emphasised words
".Blah." = speech
.Blah. = Thoughts
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Hey ya, Lora here, I am writing this W/O the help of my super Co-Author Jessie, so if it sucks, ya know why. This is some delusional idea that my muse (Twowa) shoved into my head while I was on the bus, about two months ago, and I finally wrote it down.
While this may appear to be a death ficcie, I assure you guys that it isn't, I tried to write one once, but it depressed me too much. I hope I will live up to my name as the sappiness fairy, for as soon I get this lil o'll bit of angst outta the way, it will be a pleasant mix of romance fluff and sappiness all the way home, unless u guys think I should do it differently!!!!!
I hope you enjoy, please tell me if I should post more!!!! This is in Duos POV.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I know how I must look, limping, braid a mess, soaked black clothing clinging to my slight frame, covered in mud and dripping with my blood.
I press a hand against the bullet wound in my side; it hurts like nothing I have ever felt, but yet ... I can't stop walking. I have walked so far, but yet, I can't face going back, I can't face him.
I love him, I love everything about him, his unruly chocolate hair, his dark, seemingly emotionless blue eyes and even, and this will sound pathetic, his threats, they are the only things he ever says to me, if he ever told me anything else I am sure I would still love it, but he never does and I doubt he ever will.
I fucked up real bad today, it was meant to be an easy mission drive in, blow up, drive away, I completed it, but at what cost? The lives of the earth's innocent citizens that's what. So many of them died unnecessarily today, and it was my fault!
I should have been focused on what I was doing, not my troubles, he will be so ashamed of me, all I want is his respect, I think I had it for a while, when I held my tongue, but if I did then I have lost it now.
I blew up the headquarters, but I placed one of the charges to near to an apartment block on the west side, the whole thing went up, no one there was left alive, Shinigami strikes again. I will never be free of him!
The rain still falls, I have walked miles. I am not heading anywhere in particular, just as far away from him as I can. I am not afraid of him, I want nothing more than to be close to him, but as things stand I am in no condition to ride a motorbike, and walking back to the safe house would attract far too much unwanted attention, it would endanger the missions, it would endanger the Gundams and it would endanger Heero.
If it had been one of the others back a the safe house, Quatre or Trowa, maybe even WuFei, they would endanger themselves and come looking for me, but as it is Heero I have nothing to fear from that.
He would never endanger the mission to search for a missing pilot, he even trusts me enough now not to come after me to try and kill me, at least I think he does after last time, when he came, and yet decided to let me live.
It really doesn't bother me that much. It would be heaven for me to know that my angel cared for me, but I would rather he was safe.
It nearly killed me when he self detonated, I wonder if he would ever feel that way about me? It's too late to be wondering about that now I will die soon. I must have lost a lot of blood by now, but I am not afraid. Death has stalked me all my life, and now he will claim me.
This was how I always expected to go, in or after a battle, alone. Gundam pilots are not destined for love and company ... Or are we. Look at Q-man and Tro; they are in love, even if they don't think we all know. But then ... Quatre really doesn't fit like the rest of us do.
Trowa, Heero, WuFei and myself, all killers without a thought. It might get to us afterwards through nightmares and flashbacks, but by then its too late, we cannot change a thing. Quatre always feels grief as, and even before he kills, that is why he deserves love.
I stop; I have walked across what I earlier discovered to be farmland, about four miles of it. I have reached a small village. Its quaint, small thatched cottages lie along either side of a winding high street. It's beautiful, I stand and watch.
An elderly couple emerge from one of the dwellings. The woman holds a cane in one hand, and her husbands arm in the other.
He helps he down the step from their front door. He takes an umbrella from her and as they begin to walk, he holds it up above both their heads. She leans against him as they stop and take a seat under a bus shelter; he takes her hand in his, and kisses it gently before relaxing against the bench, still under the umbrella.
They are lucky. They have shared the company of the one they love for maybe fifty years, who can tell. And they have lived long lives knowing that they will never be alone. They have had someone there when the go to sleep each night, and woken up to that same persons face every morning.
What I wouldn't give for a life like that with Heero. But our lives were always destined to be short. None of my comrades expects to see the end of the wars. My time with my love has been short, and that time has also been spent without him knowing how I feel. I could never tell him.
It's not that I feared he would hurt, or even kill me. In fact I can't think of a way I would rather have gone, than by his hand ... Oh God that's morbid. But any way, I just couldn't face the fact that if he said no, I would have been broken, and I don't doubt that I would have taken the cowards way out and shot myself. But even that doesn't matter any more; I won't live to see another day.
My legs give way, I can't stand, my head feels light and my vision is blurred, the ground is wet beneath me, and it sends a cold wave up my back. I can't stand, this is it, alone and cold like I always knew it would be.
My eyes are closing, all I can think of is Heero, I love him so much, he is my world, he is my night, he is my day, he is the air that I breathe, and without him. I will die.
The world is becoming darker, quieter. Then, from some far-distant place, I hear his voice
"Duo ... No, Don't leave me Duo!"
Black ...
I feel as though I am sinking, down, down, down, to unimaginable depth, for some unknown length of time. But then the darkness recedes, the world becomes a mixture of greys, this must be it, I must be dead, and then I hear ..... I hear *voices?*
"Look, his pulse is back to normal, Oh Trowa look, he is going to wake up!" *Quatre?* I cant be dead! I slowly open my eyes and find myself in a small dank room, I look around and my gaze meets the tear filled aqua eyes, of a person who is my closest friend.
Lora-There, chappie one all over, should this be a one shot, should I leave it there, I need you guys to let me know. Twowa- Why would they want more, they have more taste then that!!!
Lora- *sulks* Please leave a review, I need the to keep my demon case of writers block at bay, it will make me work more on all my ficcies!!!