The bell rang, declaring the end of second period. Buffy gathered her
books and made her way out of the classroom and toward her third period
human science class. As she made her way threw the throngs of students,
she caught bits and pieces of conversations. One between two girls caught
her attention.
"Did you see the guy who's subbing for Miss Perterson?" girl number one asked. Miss Perterson was Buffy's human science teacher.
"Yeah," said girl number two. "He's so hot."
"Too bad he's not a real teacher." Both girls laughed.
Buffy smiled. Cute subs were always a plus. As she neared the classroom, Willow fell in step next to her.
"Hey," said Buffy.
"Hey." Willow's red hair bounced around her shoulders. "What's with the super smiles?"
"Cute sub," Buffy answered.
"Yay." Willow led the way as they entered the room and took their seats. Only a few other students were there; most didn't come in until the final bell rung. Buffy and Willow talked as the bell rang and the rest of the students filed in. Willow laughed at something Buffy said. Then her eyes widened and she turned ghostly pale.
"Willow?" Buffy asked. "What wrong?" She turned to look behind her and gasped. Angel stood at the chalkboard, writing Mr. McCoy at the top of the board. He turned and smiled, his eyes meeting with Buffy's. She let out the breath of air she didn't even realize she had been holding. The look on his face told her he wasn't going kill anyone, but he wasn't going to make it easy for her either. She knew the only way to make it through this, was to play along.
"Buffy," Willow whispered to her. There was terror in her voice. When Angel had turned, he had done some awful things, some of which had been aimed at Willow.
"Just play along, Will. He won't do anything to you. I won't let him." Buffy looked back at Angel, who was reading a piece of white paper.
After a second, he put down the paper and looked at the class. Almost every girl was drooling over him. And why shouldn't they? He looked gorgeous in a white Oxford shirt and khakis- the total opposite of his normally dark attire. "Good morning everyone. I'm Mr. McCoy, but all my friends call me Angel, so feel free to also."
Buffy wanted to laugh. Angel didn't have friends. Enemies, minions, and lovers, but no friends.
"Why isn't he flaming?" asked Willow quietly.
"He must have taken the Gem from Spike." As Buffy spoke, she never took her eyes off him. She knew he could hear every word they were saying.
"So," Angel said. "It says here we're supposed to go to the library and check out some book."
"No!" Willow said too loudly. Everyone in class stared at her and she sunk down into her seat.
"Is there problem," he looked down at the seating chart even though he knew her name, "Miss Rosenberg?" Angel asked innocently. He knew everyone was in the library, and he knew that Giles didn't know he was back.
"Um," Buffy spoke up. She knew he would know that she was lying, but she wouldn't let him in the library. "Giles, Mr. Giles, is filing the books and doesn't want anyone going in there today."
Angel smirked at her. "Okay then." He looked around the room. "The next thing on the list is sexual reproduction."
Buffy and Willow looked at each other. Willow visibly gulped. While Angel knew a great deal about sex, it wasn't the time of this you told a high school class. But he was going to go through with the lesson.
"So, who wants to fill me in with what you guys talked about yesterday?" Angel asked. Alexia, a very popular, very slutty cheerleader raised her hand. "Yes?"
"Well, Angel," she said, her voice as sexy as she could manage without sounding like an idiot. She twisted a lock of blonde hair around her finger. "We stated talking about protection."
Buffy was sure she was the only one who saw the look of delight flash in his eyes. It was the same look he got in his eyes when he knew he had aroused her when she was trying to fight it. She hated the look.
"Well, it says we're supposed to discuss the forms of protection, but I'm sure you all know how to put on a condom, or swallow a pill, so, I'm going to change today's lesson a bit." Angel sat on the edge of the desk and crossed his arms over his chest. One of the students raised their hands.
"Where's Miss Perterson?" asked the student.
"Yeah," said Buffy. "Where is Miss Perterson, Mr. McCoy?" Buffy's tone was sarcastic, but she really was worried. She highly doubted that her teacher was really not in class on her own accord. She just hoped Angel hadn't done anything to her.
Angel noticed the tone of her voice, as well as the hidden concern. "Miss Perterson is tied up today, but she should be back tomorrow." Buffy knew he was being literal. "But, now, let's get on with our lesson. I know a few of you may think that this a person al question, and if you don't want answer, you don't have to, but how many of you have had sex?"
Buffy heard a few gasps, one of which was Willow's, and slowly people began to raise their hands. Buffy looked him straight in the eye as she raised hers.
"Okay, now out of you guys, how many of you have ever made love to someone?" Only Buffy and two other people still had their hands raised. Buffy could tell Angel was getting uncomfortable. He didn't like that Buffy wasn't' being affected by this. He took a deep unneeded breath. "Out of you three, do you still love the person?" Buffy was the only person still raising her hand. There was a smug smile spread across her lips. Angel fought every nerve in his body not to smack the smile off her face and fuck her right then and there until she forgot all about Angel. But he took an unneeded breath and smiled. Buffy lowered her hand. "Well, I guess that proves my point." He began to walk around the room, and when he passed Willow, she visibly stiffened.
"Now," he said. "I've a story to tell. Now I know what you're all thinking, it's one of those stories about how sex ruins lives. And it is." He sat on the desk again. Buffy looked at him closely, trying to spot the Gem. She looked for any piece of jewelry that she hadn't seen him wear before. She didn't see anything different until he moved and the light glinted off of a chain that was barely visible, hidden by the collar of his shirt. He never wore a necklace; his cover was blown.
"This is a story about someone that's very close to me. Well, anyway, when she was in high school, she fell in love with this guy, this much older guy." Angel's voice was smooth as he spoke, like he was hiding some emotion behind it. This was their story. Buffy and Angel's. Buffy took a deep breath. "Everyone told her she shouldn't date this guy. They had completely different lives and came form different worlds." That was an understatement, Buffy thought. "But they fell in love. And, soon, the temptation became too much."
Buffy wanted to go up and smack him. He had no right to be doing this. This wasn't his story to tell. He had no clue about how she fell about Angel. He had no clue what it was like to love or be loved.
Angel continued. "On her seventeenth birthday, they had sex." Angel looked her right in the eye. Her eyes were glazed over and her lips were parted. He could see the pain in her face. He allowed himself a small smile. He knew he was being an asshole, but he love the look on her face too much to stop. "According to her, it was great, but."
Buffy bolted from her seat and halfway to the girl's locker room, her only hide out, the tears began to fall. Willow glared at Angel. She wanted to hit him, smack him, or yell at him, but she was smart enough to know that you just didn't do that to a master vampire unless you wanted to die. She ran after Buffy.
Buffy pushed the door open and entered the locker room. There was no gym class this period, so no one would be there. She stopped in the middle of the room, and wiped her eyes, but the tears kept coming. Willow ran in.
"Oh, Buffy," said Willow. Her and Buffy embraced. "He's a jerk. I can't believe he did that to you."
Buffy sniffed. "Oh, God, Will. He's making me so miserable, but I can't kill him. I need him."
"But Buffy," said Willow. "You don't love him." It wasn't a question.
Buffy only cried harder. She knew she shouldn't feel this way, but she couldn't help herself. She had given up doing what was right the minute she made love to Angel. She looked Willow in the eyes and said, "I."
Angel slammed threw the door. The metal door swung open and banged against the wall. His normally inscrutable face showed his anger. So did his voice. "Get out, Willow." Buffy could hear the threat in it. "Now!"
Willow looked meekly at Buffy then backed out the door. Buffy backed up against the door for support. Tears were streaming down her face. Angel pursued her, until he stood a foot away and towering over her. "Stay away form me." While her voice was firm and defiant, she knew if he didn't stay away, there was nothing she could do to stop him. She was helpless against him. When it came to Angel, she had always been weak. She sobbed, "You said you could be nice."
Angel's dark eyes were wide and his mouth open. The look in Buffy's eyes, her voice, the way she stood-she looked like a scared child. He liked the thought of her being threatened by him, but he didn't want her to be scared of him to the point of cowardliness and defeat. "Buffy." He didn't know what else to say. "I."
Buffy held her hand up to keep him from talking. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She had to be strong. "You said you would be nice and gentle. You weren't. Was it all just a lie, a ploy to get me to let you fuck me?" She looked him hard in the eyes, but she didn't let him answer. "Well, it worked. I let you touch me, I let you into me bed. And then you do this." She stood up and wiped the tears from her eyes. "I'm done. We're threw. Leave now, or I'll kill you. And if you come near me, or my friends, I will make sure it is a long a painful death. You said I couldn't kill you, but I'm ready now. I'm ready to do what I should have done along time ago." Buffy stared at him, her gaze unwavering.
Angel wasn't sure what to do. He knew he should defy her, threaten her, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Instead her pulled the necklace with the ring on it from around his neck, threw it at her feet, then backed away toward the sewer entrance.
Buffy waited until she was sure he was gone and then picked up the chain and rind. The ring- a gold band with a thin red jewel in the center- was beautiful. She slid it onto her finger and dropped the chain. She ground her shoe into it, like one would do with a cigarette bud, and looked at it with satisfaction as the delicate white gold links were crushed and flattened.
~
While Spike made a few appearances, Angel stayed hidden. For three weeks there was no sign of him and Buffy was beginning to think that he had left town. And while part of her was relieved and glad, a bigger part of her wanted him to show up. She wanted to fight him, yell at him, to touch him. She yearned to feel his hands on her, his mouth savagely mating with hers, his cool body moving against hers when they fucked. She was discussed with herself.
Buffy did everything she cold to keep busy, keep him off her mind, but everything made her think of him. She tossed and turned at night, waking from fevered dreams of him pleasuring her, only to find herself alone and unfulfilled. And she hated her dreams, her needs and her wants. She took her anger out on the vampire she fought, beating them brutally, showing no mercy, and then staking them. But it only helped momentary, for when the dust cleared, she was mad at him again, for making her want him, a soulless, heartless demon.
She slacked off on school and many days she left early to go home and sleep, since she was out until dawn almost every night. She hadn't been eating, manly because her mother was never home to cook, and Buffy was too lazy to make her own dinner. Soon, she wasn't even hungry anymore. She looked thin, tired, and weak. In a word, dead.
Her friends were worried about her. When they asked her what was up, she just shrugged them off. Willow was the only one that knew the reason for Buffy's habits. Angelus. She knew the vampire had left town, and it was taking its toll on Buffy. Buffy was normally strong and healthy, but now she was weak and thin, she was sick. Xander and Giles, still in the dark about Angel, just blamed her new attitude on upcoming finals. But Buffy simply ignored them. She insisted she was fine. When they asked when was the last time she ate, she lied. When they asked about the dark circles under her eyes, she just told them she wasn't wearing makeup. And when Giles scolded her for skipping school, she shot back with, "I think saving the world from vampires is a little more important than learning about things I'll never need to know in my line of work."
So Buffy's life continued like this for weeks. She was becoming more and more of a shell of herself. She no longer cared. Until one tragic night.
~
Angel had been back in Sunnydale for five days. He had spent the past few weeks in LA, spending his nights fucking whores brutally while feeding off them. He was constantly drunk- a thing that was almost unheard of for a vampire to be- and always horny. But not for the sluts that were only a meal and a way to jack off. No, he hungered to be in the arms of his blonde beauty, the one he had left. That's why he came back. Because his need for her overwhelmed him to the point where when he closed his eyes, he saw her face.
But when he returned to the Hellmouth, he stayed hidden. He stayed in the closed off part of the mansion, the wings that were barely furnished in case she showed up. He only left in the moments before dawn to feed, sometimes only just making it back before the sun reared its golden head, so not to be seen by the Slayer. He wasn't ready to face her yet.
But one night, something pulled him out of his dark room. Something pulled him into the dark deserted forests surrounding the mansion. As he wondered aimlessly threw the trees, he soon felt her. He looked up to see, in the clearing twenty feet away, Buffy fighting a very large vamp, and loosing. From where he was, he could smell her blood, and her fear, and felt her exhaustion. He could see how thin she has gotten and the dark circles under her yes. She was lazy, not as quick, and it showed.
Buffy kicked the vampire in the side, but he barley flinched. Instead, he punched her hard n the jaw, throwing her back ward into a tree. She hit the trunk and slid down. Her eyes opened and closed, and blood dripped down from a slit above her eyes. She had no energy to move. The vampire picked her up and threw her onto the ground. She landed with a thud. Her breath left her and lights flashed behind her eyes. She felt blackness over come her as she felt the vampires hot, fervid breath on her neck. She closed her eyes.
As the vampire sunk his elongated teeth into her tender throat, Angel dashed from his hiding spot to Buffy. He threw the vampire off his lover, and took a quick glance at her before staking the vampire. Angel dropped to his knees beside Buffy. She was unconscious, and blood gushed from the two tiny holes in her neck. When Angel had pulled the vampire away, he hand opened the wound more. Angel gathered her in his arms and he ran toward the mansion.
~
Angel laid her on his bed and quickly removed her jacket. He ran to the bathroom and grabbed a washcloth and first aid kit. He began to soak up the blood from her neck when he noticed the blood staining the sheets beneath her. Angel freaked. She was loosing too much blood. He grabbed the phone next to him, but instead of dialing 911, he dialed Willow's number. The phone rang three times before the machine picked up.
~
Willow stood next to the phone and listened as Angel spoke. She wanted to believe it was a ploy. But Angel cared about no one but Buffy. And she knew he couldn't sound as helpless and compassionate as he did unless Buffy was really hurt.
She picked up the phone. "Hello?"
~
Angel carefully, with the help of scissors, removed Buffy's clothes. He knew she would be angry with him for it later, but now, he had to get to her wounds. He had cleaned and bandaged her neck, but she was still asleep and bleeding. Once he got her shirt off, he gasped. He could see each of her ribs. He had scanned her body and found many cuts and scrapes, most of them bleeding, along with scares and bruises that she hadn't had when he had left.
Willow arrived just as Angel was cleaning a gash across Buffy's stomach. It looked like she had been impaled by something. Willow gasped when she saw Buffy. There was blood everywhere and she was pale. She looked dead. Willow edged around the bed.
"What happened?"
"I was out walking and I saw her fighting. The vampire was winning but I stayed back. Then he knocked her out and bit her. I killed him." There was no gloating in her remark. "I brought her back here. She'd been out ever since. Willow, what happened to her? She wasn't like this when I left. She wasn't this thin. She didn't have these scars."
Willow looked him straight in the eyes. "You happened, Angel. I know most of the time you try to hurt her, but even when you don't try, you still do. Whether you try or not, you're killing her." She looked down at Buffy's unconscious from. "Leave." Angel began to protest. "Now."
He kissed Buffy's hand and then her forehead. He left the room and Willow waited until she could no longer hear his foot steps before she dug into her bag and pulled out a piece of paper and some Wiccan ingredients. She read the paper while holding the herbs over Buffy. It was a healing spell Willow had come across and she hoped it would help. After a moment she began to bandage the rest of Buffy's wounds.
~
A hour later, Buffy still hadn't woken. Angel had returned with tea for Willow. They sat one on either side of the bed, waiting for Buffy to wake up. After a while, Angel took her hand. It was cold.
"She's cold," said Angel. His voice was tight. Willow's eyes widened. Angel felt for her pulse. It was there, but slow and uneven. "She needs blood."
Willow as up in a second. "We can take her to the emergency room."
"There's not enough time," said Angel. He wished he could lie to Willow, but he couldn't. "She needs it now or she'll die." Willow knew what he was thinking and began to shake her head. "There's no other way. She'll die Willow."
"But you've fed from her," said Willow.
"She won't turn. It was only a little, and it was weeks ago. My blood will only make her stronger. It's more potent than human blood for her." Angel gently began to wake Buffy. "Buffy," he said, carefully moving her shoulders. "Buffy, wake up."
Buffy moaned. Her eyes began to quiver and then slowly open. Her head pounded. Every part of her body hurt. She tried to move, but pain shot up her spine. It felt like someone was hitting her behind her eyes. She didn't remember anything, and she felt herself blacking out again. She tried to shake her head, but pain overloaded her. She squinted. "Angel?" She didn't know what had happened or where she was. "What happened?"
"You were hurt. You've lost a lot of blood." Angel stroked her face. "Buffy, I need you to sit up, if you can." He and Willow helped her up. She winced in pain. "Now, you have to listen. You need blood, now." He glanced at Willow, who looked at him with doubt. He didn't want to do this any more than she did. There were risks, but Angel's blood was stronger than any blood she would get from a hospital. She would be stronger, and heal faster. Still, he didn't like it. But he wouldn't loose her.
Buffy's eyes began to close. She fought to breathe. Angel grabbed her shoulders. "Buffy, stay with us." He let go of her and opened the night table drawer. He pulled out a long, sharp knife. Willow's eyes widened. "Hold her head back," he told Willow. She titled Buffy's head back as the Slayer groaned in pain. Angel felt for her pulse once more. It was too slow. Taking a deep breath, he drew the blade across his wrist. Crimson blood flowed form the wound. He held his wrist to Buffy's lips. The blood began to flow into her mouth.
At first she choked. Willow moved her head and Angel squeezed the cut to make the blood flow quicker. Buffy, unconscious and unaware of what she was doing, swallowed each sip. Willow watched with fascination. She had seen vampires feed from humans, but she never seen a human feed from a vampire.
After about ten minutes Angel pulled his wrist away and put a cup of water to Buffy's lips. She was completely out now. Angel removed the cup and Willow laid her back down. Angel felt her neck for her pulse; it was quicker, but still slow.
"Are you sure she's not going to be a vampire?" asked Willow. She pulled the blankets up around her friend. They had bloodstains on them, but they were barely noticeable against the red stain.
"She'll be human." Angel said nothing else. He grabbed something off the night table and left the room. He returned a few moments later with sheets in his arms. "You can leave. I'll take care of her." Willow opened her mouth to protest. "Go home and sleep. I promise you I won't hurt her." I will never hurt her again, he promised himself silently.
Willow sighed, deflated. She grabbed her bag. "I'll be back later with some clothes. Joyce is out of town, so you don't have to worry about lying to her, at least not now." Willow kissed Buffy on the forehead and turned and left.
After Willow left, Angel lifted Buffy from the bed and carried her into the only other bedroom in the mansion that was furnished and clean. It had been Dru's room. Angel wrapped her in his bathrobe and laid her in the clean sheets. He sat with her for hours. He listened to her heartbeat and the sound of her breath. She had no idea how close she had come to death. Because of him.
Angel slowly left the bed and walked the sort distance to the kitchen. The room where Buffy slept was in the center of the wing that Angel had situated himself in. There were three wings in the place; two of them had been boarded up. Him and Dru had explored part of one, but it had been much like the one they existed in. Dru had chosen the room because it was in the middle and could be entered from almost any other room. Angel figured if Buffy woke up, he could hear her from whatever room he was in.
He walked into the kitchen and immediately went to the liquor cabinet. There was no food in the kitchen, only tea, coffee, and, of course, alcohol. Angel pulled out the first bottle he saw, brandy. Pulling the cap off, he took a long gulp, the liquid burning his throat and filling his cold body with warmth. He didn't wait for the feeling to subside before he took another drink. Soon the bottle was empty, but he didn't feel any better. The alcohol hadn't wiped away and of the guilt. He wasn't drunk, either. He threw the bottle and watched without satisfaction, as it hit the wall and shattered to the ground.
"Did you see the guy who's subbing for Miss Perterson?" girl number one asked. Miss Perterson was Buffy's human science teacher.
"Yeah," said girl number two. "He's so hot."
"Too bad he's not a real teacher." Both girls laughed.
Buffy smiled. Cute subs were always a plus. As she neared the classroom, Willow fell in step next to her.
"Hey," said Buffy.
"Hey." Willow's red hair bounced around her shoulders. "What's with the super smiles?"
"Cute sub," Buffy answered.
"Yay." Willow led the way as they entered the room and took their seats. Only a few other students were there; most didn't come in until the final bell rung. Buffy and Willow talked as the bell rang and the rest of the students filed in. Willow laughed at something Buffy said. Then her eyes widened and she turned ghostly pale.
"Willow?" Buffy asked. "What wrong?" She turned to look behind her and gasped. Angel stood at the chalkboard, writing Mr. McCoy at the top of the board. He turned and smiled, his eyes meeting with Buffy's. She let out the breath of air she didn't even realize she had been holding. The look on his face told her he wasn't going kill anyone, but he wasn't going to make it easy for her either. She knew the only way to make it through this, was to play along.
"Buffy," Willow whispered to her. There was terror in her voice. When Angel had turned, he had done some awful things, some of which had been aimed at Willow.
"Just play along, Will. He won't do anything to you. I won't let him." Buffy looked back at Angel, who was reading a piece of white paper.
After a second, he put down the paper and looked at the class. Almost every girl was drooling over him. And why shouldn't they? He looked gorgeous in a white Oxford shirt and khakis- the total opposite of his normally dark attire. "Good morning everyone. I'm Mr. McCoy, but all my friends call me Angel, so feel free to also."
Buffy wanted to laugh. Angel didn't have friends. Enemies, minions, and lovers, but no friends.
"Why isn't he flaming?" asked Willow quietly.
"He must have taken the Gem from Spike." As Buffy spoke, she never took her eyes off him. She knew he could hear every word they were saying.
"So," Angel said. "It says here we're supposed to go to the library and check out some book."
"No!" Willow said too loudly. Everyone in class stared at her and she sunk down into her seat.
"Is there problem," he looked down at the seating chart even though he knew her name, "Miss Rosenberg?" Angel asked innocently. He knew everyone was in the library, and he knew that Giles didn't know he was back.
"Um," Buffy spoke up. She knew he would know that she was lying, but she wouldn't let him in the library. "Giles, Mr. Giles, is filing the books and doesn't want anyone going in there today."
Angel smirked at her. "Okay then." He looked around the room. "The next thing on the list is sexual reproduction."
Buffy and Willow looked at each other. Willow visibly gulped. While Angel knew a great deal about sex, it wasn't the time of this you told a high school class. But he was going to go through with the lesson.
"So, who wants to fill me in with what you guys talked about yesterday?" Angel asked. Alexia, a very popular, very slutty cheerleader raised her hand. "Yes?"
"Well, Angel," she said, her voice as sexy as she could manage without sounding like an idiot. She twisted a lock of blonde hair around her finger. "We stated talking about protection."
Buffy was sure she was the only one who saw the look of delight flash in his eyes. It was the same look he got in his eyes when he knew he had aroused her when she was trying to fight it. She hated the look.
"Well, it says we're supposed to discuss the forms of protection, but I'm sure you all know how to put on a condom, or swallow a pill, so, I'm going to change today's lesson a bit." Angel sat on the edge of the desk and crossed his arms over his chest. One of the students raised their hands.
"Where's Miss Perterson?" asked the student.
"Yeah," said Buffy. "Where is Miss Perterson, Mr. McCoy?" Buffy's tone was sarcastic, but she really was worried. She highly doubted that her teacher was really not in class on her own accord. She just hoped Angel hadn't done anything to her.
Angel noticed the tone of her voice, as well as the hidden concern. "Miss Perterson is tied up today, but she should be back tomorrow." Buffy knew he was being literal. "But, now, let's get on with our lesson. I know a few of you may think that this a person al question, and if you don't want answer, you don't have to, but how many of you have had sex?"
Buffy heard a few gasps, one of which was Willow's, and slowly people began to raise their hands. Buffy looked him straight in the eye as she raised hers.
"Okay, now out of you guys, how many of you have ever made love to someone?" Only Buffy and two other people still had their hands raised. Buffy could tell Angel was getting uncomfortable. He didn't like that Buffy wasn't' being affected by this. He took a deep unneeded breath. "Out of you three, do you still love the person?" Buffy was the only person still raising her hand. There was a smug smile spread across her lips. Angel fought every nerve in his body not to smack the smile off her face and fuck her right then and there until she forgot all about Angel. But he took an unneeded breath and smiled. Buffy lowered her hand. "Well, I guess that proves my point." He began to walk around the room, and when he passed Willow, she visibly stiffened.
"Now," he said. "I've a story to tell. Now I know what you're all thinking, it's one of those stories about how sex ruins lives. And it is." He sat on the desk again. Buffy looked at him closely, trying to spot the Gem. She looked for any piece of jewelry that she hadn't seen him wear before. She didn't see anything different until he moved and the light glinted off of a chain that was barely visible, hidden by the collar of his shirt. He never wore a necklace; his cover was blown.
"This is a story about someone that's very close to me. Well, anyway, when she was in high school, she fell in love with this guy, this much older guy." Angel's voice was smooth as he spoke, like he was hiding some emotion behind it. This was their story. Buffy and Angel's. Buffy took a deep breath. "Everyone told her she shouldn't date this guy. They had completely different lives and came form different worlds." That was an understatement, Buffy thought. "But they fell in love. And, soon, the temptation became too much."
Buffy wanted to go up and smack him. He had no right to be doing this. This wasn't his story to tell. He had no clue about how she fell about Angel. He had no clue what it was like to love or be loved.
Angel continued. "On her seventeenth birthday, they had sex." Angel looked her right in the eye. Her eyes were glazed over and her lips were parted. He could see the pain in her face. He allowed himself a small smile. He knew he was being an asshole, but he love the look on her face too much to stop. "According to her, it was great, but."
Buffy bolted from her seat and halfway to the girl's locker room, her only hide out, the tears began to fall. Willow glared at Angel. She wanted to hit him, smack him, or yell at him, but she was smart enough to know that you just didn't do that to a master vampire unless you wanted to die. She ran after Buffy.
Buffy pushed the door open and entered the locker room. There was no gym class this period, so no one would be there. She stopped in the middle of the room, and wiped her eyes, but the tears kept coming. Willow ran in.
"Oh, Buffy," said Willow. Her and Buffy embraced. "He's a jerk. I can't believe he did that to you."
Buffy sniffed. "Oh, God, Will. He's making me so miserable, but I can't kill him. I need him."
"But Buffy," said Willow. "You don't love him." It wasn't a question.
Buffy only cried harder. She knew she shouldn't feel this way, but she couldn't help herself. She had given up doing what was right the minute she made love to Angel. She looked Willow in the eyes and said, "I."
Angel slammed threw the door. The metal door swung open and banged against the wall. His normally inscrutable face showed his anger. So did his voice. "Get out, Willow." Buffy could hear the threat in it. "Now!"
Willow looked meekly at Buffy then backed out the door. Buffy backed up against the door for support. Tears were streaming down her face. Angel pursued her, until he stood a foot away and towering over her. "Stay away form me." While her voice was firm and defiant, she knew if he didn't stay away, there was nothing she could do to stop him. She was helpless against him. When it came to Angel, she had always been weak. She sobbed, "You said you could be nice."
Angel's dark eyes were wide and his mouth open. The look in Buffy's eyes, her voice, the way she stood-she looked like a scared child. He liked the thought of her being threatened by him, but he didn't want her to be scared of him to the point of cowardliness and defeat. "Buffy." He didn't know what else to say. "I."
Buffy held her hand up to keep him from talking. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She had to be strong. "You said you would be nice and gentle. You weren't. Was it all just a lie, a ploy to get me to let you fuck me?" She looked him hard in the eyes, but she didn't let him answer. "Well, it worked. I let you touch me, I let you into me bed. And then you do this." She stood up and wiped the tears from her eyes. "I'm done. We're threw. Leave now, or I'll kill you. And if you come near me, or my friends, I will make sure it is a long a painful death. You said I couldn't kill you, but I'm ready now. I'm ready to do what I should have done along time ago." Buffy stared at him, her gaze unwavering.
Angel wasn't sure what to do. He knew he should defy her, threaten her, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Instead her pulled the necklace with the ring on it from around his neck, threw it at her feet, then backed away toward the sewer entrance.
Buffy waited until she was sure he was gone and then picked up the chain and rind. The ring- a gold band with a thin red jewel in the center- was beautiful. She slid it onto her finger and dropped the chain. She ground her shoe into it, like one would do with a cigarette bud, and looked at it with satisfaction as the delicate white gold links were crushed and flattened.
~
While Spike made a few appearances, Angel stayed hidden. For three weeks there was no sign of him and Buffy was beginning to think that he had left town. And while part of her was relieved and glad, a bigger part of her wanted him to show up. She wanted to fight him, yell at him, to touch him. She yearned to feel his hands on her, his mouth savagely mating with hers, his cool body moving against hers when they fucked. She was discussed with herself.
Buffy did everything she cold to keep busy, keep him off her mind, but everything made her think of him. She tossed and turned at night, waking from fevered dreams of him pleasuring her, only to find herself alone and unfulfilled. And she hated her dreams, her needs and her wants. She took her anger out on the vampire she fought, beating them brutally, showing no mercy, and then staking them. But it only helped momentary, for when the dust cleared, she was mad at him again, for making her want him, a soulless, heartless demon.
She slacked off on school and many days she left early to go home and sleep, since she was out until dawn almost every night. She hadn't been eating, manly because her mother was never home to cook, and Buffy was too lazy to make her own dinner. Soon, she wasn't even hungry anymore. She looked thin, tired, and weak. In a word, dead.
Her friends were worried about her. When they asked her what was up, she just shrugged them off. Willow was the only one that knew the reason for Buffy's habits. Angelus. She knew the vampire had left town, and it was taking its toll on Buffy. Buffy was normally strong and healthy, but now she was weak and thin, she was sick. Xander and Giles, still in the dark about Angel, just blamed her new attitude on upcoming finals. But Buffy simply ignored them. She insisted she was fine. When they asked when was the last time she ate, she lied. When they asked about the dark circles under her eyes, she just told them she wasn't wearing makeup. And when Giles scolded her for skipping school, she shot back with, "I think saving the world from vampires is a little more important than learning about things I'll never need to know in my line of work."
So Buffy's life continued like this for weeks. She was becoming more and more of a shell of herself. She no longer cared. Until one tragic night.
~
Angel had been back in Sunnydale for five days. He had spent the past few weeks in LA, spending his nights fucking whores brutally while feeding off them. He was constantly drunk- a thing that was almost unheard of for a vampire to be- and always horny. But not for the sluts that were only a meal and a way to jack off. No, he hungered to be in the arms of his blonde beauty, the one he had left. That's why he came back. Because his need for her overwhelmed him to the point where when he closed his eyes, he saw her face.
But when he returned to the Hellmouth, he stayed hidden. He stayed in the closed off part of the mansion, the wings that were barely furnished in case she showed up. He only left in the moments before dawn to feed, sometimes only just making it back before the sun reared its golden head, so not to be seen by the Slayer. He wasn't ready to face her yet.
But one night, something pulled him out of his dark room. Something pulled him into the dark deserted forests surrounding the mansion. As he wondered aimlessly threw the trees, he soon felt her. He looked up to see, in the clearing twenty feet away, Buffy fighting a very large vamp, and loosing. From where he was, he could smell her blood, and her fear, and felt her exhaustion. He could see how thin she has gotten and the dark circles under her yes. She was lazy, not as quick, and it showed.
Buffy kicked the vampire in the side, but he barley flinched. Instead, he punched her hard n the jaw, throwing her back ward into a tree. She hit the trunk and slid down. Her eyes opened and closed, and blood dripped down from a slit above her eyes. She had no energy to move. The vampire picked her up and threw her onto the ground. She landed with a thud. Her breath left her and lights flashed behind her eyes. She felt blackness over come her as she felt the vampires hot, fervid breath on her neck. She closed her eyes.
As the vampire sunk his elongated teeth into her tender throat, Angel dashed from his hiding spot to Buffy. He threw the vampire off his lover, and took a quick glance at her before staking the vampire. Angel dropped to his knees beside Buffy. She was unconscious, and blood gushed from the two tiny holes in her neck. When Angel had pulled the vampire away, he hand opened the wound more. Angel gathered her in his arms and he ran toward the mansion.
~
Angel laid her on his bed and quickly removed her jacket. He ran to the bathroom and grabbed a washcloth and first aid kit. He began to soak up the blood from her neck when he noticed the blood staining the sheets beneath her. Angel freaked. She was loosing too much blood. He grabbed the phone next to him, but instead of dialing 911, he dialed Willow's number. The phone rang three times before the machine picked up.
~
Willow stood next to the phone and listened as Angel spoke. She wanted to believe it was a ploy. But Angel cared about no one but Buffy. And she knew he couldn't sound as helpless and compassionate as he did unless Buffy was really hurt.
She picked up the phone. "Hello?"
~
Angel carefully, with the help of scissors, removed Buffy's clothes. He knew she would be angry with him for it later, but now, he had to get to her wounds. He had cleaned and bandaged her neck, but she was still asleep and bleeding. Once he got her shirt off, he gasped. He could see each of her ribs. He had scanned her body and found many cuts and scrapes, most of them bleeding, along with scares and bruises that she hadn't had when he had left.
Willow arrived just as Angel was cleaning a gash across Buffy's stomach. It looked like she had been impaled by something. Willow gasped when she saw Buffy. There was blood everywhere and she was pale. She looked dead. Willow edged around the bed.
"What happened?"
"I was out walking and I saw her fighting. The vampire was winning but I stayed back. Then he knocked her out and bit her. I killed him." There was no gloating in her remark. "I brought her back here. She'd been out ever since. Willow, what happened to her? She wasn't like this when I left. She wasn't this thin. She didn't have these scars."
Willow looked him straight in the eyes. "You happened, Angel. I know most of the time you try to hurt her, but even when you don't try, you still do. Whether you try or not, you're killing her." She looked down at Buffy's unconscious from. "Leave." Angel began to protest. "Now."
He kissed Buffy's hand and then her forehead. He left the room and Willow waited until she could no longer hear his foot steps before she dug into her bag and pulled out a piece of paper and some Wiccan ingredients. She read the paper while holding the herbs over Buffy. It was a healing spell Willow had come across and she hoped it would help. After a moment she began to bandage the rest of Buffy's wounds.
~
A hour later, Buffy still hadn't woken. Angel had returned with tea for Willow. They sat one on either side of the bed, waiting for Buffy to wake up. After a while, Angel took her hand. It was cold.
"She's cold," said Angel. His voice was tight. Willow's eyes widened. Angel felt for her pulse. It was there, but slow and uneven. "She needs blood."
Willow as up in a second. "We can take her to the emergency room."
"There's not enough time," said Angel. He wished he could lie to Willow, but he couldn't. "She needs it now or she'll die." Willow knew what he was thinking and began to shake her head. "There's no other way. She'll die Willow."
"But you've fed from her," said Willow.
"She won't turn. It was only a little, and it was weeks ago. My blood will only make her stronger. It's more potent than human blood for her." Angel gently began to wake Buffy. "Buffy," he said, carefully moving her shoulders. "Buffy, wake up."
Buffy moaned. Her eyes began to quiver and then slowly open. Her head pounded. Every part of her body hurt. She tried to move, but pain shot up her spine. It felt like someone was hitting her behind her eyes. She didn't remember anything, and she felt herself blacking out again. She tried to shake her head, but pain overloaded her. She squinted. "Angel?" She didn't know what had happened or where she was. "What happened?"
"You were hurt. You've lost a lot of blood." Angel stroked her face. "Buffy, I need you to sit up, if you can." He and Willow helped her up. She winced in pain. "Now, you have to listen. You need blood, now." He glanced at Willow, who looked at him with doubt. He didn't want to do this any more than she did. There were risks, but Angel's blood was stronger than any blood she would get from a hospital. She would be stronger, and heal faster. Still, he didn't like it. But he wouldn't loose her.
Buffy's eyes began to close. She fought to breathe. Angel grabbed her shoulders. "Buffy, stay with us." He let go of her and opened the night table drawer. He pulled out a long, sharp knife. Willow's eyes widened. "Hold her head back," he told Willow. She titled Buffy's head back as the Slayer groaned in pain. Angel felt for her pulse once more. It was too slow. Taking a deep breath, he drew the blade across his wrist. Crimson blood flowed form the wound. He held his wrist to Buffy's lips. The blood began to flow into her mouth.
At first she choked. Willow moved her head and Angel squeezed the cut to make the blood flow quicker. Buffy, unconscious and unaware of what she was doing, swallowed each sip. Willow watched with fascination. She had seen vampires feed from humans, but she never seen a human feed from a vampire.
After about ten minutes Angel pulled his wrist away and put a cup of water to Buffy's lips. She was completely out now. Angel removed the cup and Willow laid her back down. Angel felt her neck for her pulse; it was quicker, but still slow.
"Are you sure she's not going to be a vampire?" asked Willow. She pulled the blankets up around her friend. They had bloodstains on them, but they were barely noticeable against the red stain.
"She'll be human." Angel said nothing else. He grabbed something off the night table and left the room. He returned a few moments later with sheets in his arms. "You can leave. I'll take care of her." Willow opened her mouth to protest. "Go home and sleep. I promise you I won't hurt her." I will never hurt her again, he promised himself silently.
Willow sighed, deflated. She grabbed her bag. "I'll be back later with some clothes. Joyce is out of town, so you don't have to worry about lying to her, at least not now." Willow kissed Buffy on the forehead and turned and left.
After Willow left, Angel lifted Buffy from the bed and carried her into the only other bedroom in the mansion that was furnished and clean. It had been Dru's room. Angel wrapped her in his bathrobe and laid her in the clean sheets. He sat with her for hours. He listened to her heartbeat and the sound of her breath. She had no idea how close she had come to death. Because of him.
Angel slowly left the bed and walked the sort distance to the kitchen. The room where Buffy slept was in the center of the wing that Angel had situated himself in. There were three wings in the place; two of them had been boarded up. Him and Dru had explored part of one, but it had been much like the one they existed in. Dru had chosen the room because it was in the middle and could be entered from almost any other room. Angel figured if Buffy woke up, he could hear her from whatever room he was in.
He walked into the kitchen and immediately went to the liquor cabinet. There was no food in the kitchen, only tea, coffee, and, of course, alcohol. Angel pulled out the first bottle he saw, brandy. Pulling the cap off, he took a long gulp, the liquid burning his throat and filling his cold body with warmth. He didn't wait for the feeling to subside before he took another drink. Soon the bottle was empty, but he didn't feel any better. The alcohol hadn't wiped away and of the guilt. He wasn't drunk, either. He threw the bottle and watched without satisfaction, as it hit the wall and shattered to the ground.