A/N: Hey people! What's up?! Well, nothing for me that's for sure. Anyways, here's chapter 3, and thank you Mia for being a great beta reader! And guess what?! I saw James Marsters and he gave me a hug and we got our picture taken. Then five hours later, I went for his autograph and he remembered me! After seeing thousands of people after I got my photo with him! And people, if you think he's hot on t.v. or pictures, wait till you see him in person! I almost fainted! And he is the SWEETEST guy in the world and when this one girl said you're the hottest guy in the world he blushed and hid his face in his leather jacket. He is really shy and so nice. I just can't get over the fact that he remembered me !
Buffy ran downstairs as she heard a knock on the door. She peered through the little spy hole. It was Spike. She didn't want to open the door in the outfit she had on at the moment. She was wearing a white sleevless top with blue jean overalls. Her hair was braided in two french ones. She had been cleaning her room upstairs.
Buffy opened the door anyway. "Spike, hey."
"Hi,"said Spike.
"So, uh do you want to come in? Actually wait, that would be a bad idea. How about we talk on the porch?"
"Sure, luv." Once outside, they sat on the swinging chair.
"So, was there a reason you came?"
"Um, yeah. Luv..............I............how are you feeling today?"
"Uh...good.....I guess," said Buffy, with a confused look.
"Good....good. Um, it's just Willow told me that um.............well, she said.........."
"Yeah? Is there something wrong with you?"
"Pet, I was going to ask you that."
"What do you mean? There's nothing wrong with me-" but Buffy stopped as she realised Willow had told Spike about her illness.
"I'm fine......." said Buffy softly.
"Luv, why didn't you tell me?"
"I just.......I don't want you to feel pity for me. I don't want you to act........weird around me."
"Pet, when did it start?"
"About a year ago. I stopped taking medication last month. The doctors say I'll live a couple of months longer. And I just want to live my life to the fullest."
"What if you went back on the medication?" "Then I'd probably make it." "Then why the bloody hell did you stop?"
Buffy rose, now slightly yelling, "Don't you think I want to live? I want to go to college, get married, have a family, grow up to be wrinkly and go to live on Catalina Island, the old people getaway. I want to do so much!" "Then take the medicine!" "I can't! It hurts too much. It's too ...........hard, "said Buffy softly, "and my parents can't afford it."
"I'll help pay, luv."
"I don't want you to! Don't you get it? Just let me live my life. I was fine until you came here accusing me of sucide!"
"Luv, I'm sorry, but I love you. I don't want you to die. Ever. Why can't you please just take the bloody medicine for me?"
"I've tried. I 'm getting all these weird tingly feelings and I want to be near you every second and I think it's love......I'm not sure. Can it be love this early?......................... It's just......it's too hard. The pain.....it's worst than anything you've ever imagined."
"God, pet. I'm sorry. You know I would hate to see you in pain, but, luv, think about the reward. The gift of living. It will all be worth it."
"I know........why did this have to happen to me?" asked Buffy, tears falling down on her cheeks. Spike cradled her head to his chest.
"Shhhh, luv..................Everything is going to be alright. I'll pay for it. You'll get better. You have to........"
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"Well, Buffy. It seems that we can get the tumor out. It will cost a lot-" said Doctor Smith.
"Don't worry about the money, doc," said Spike. "And the risk is high," said Dr. Smith as he finished what he was going to say.
"How high?" asked Spike, suddenly feeling nervous.
"About fifty fifty," said Dr. Smith, "I'll give you guys time to talk about it. Call me when you decide on something."
"Thank you,"said Buffy. You could say the appointment had gone alright. The news about the chance of Buffy not living through the operation had scared Spike though. They were in the car and it was silent.
"So, pet. Do you have an idea of what you're going to do?"said Spike, breaking that oh-so-horrible silence. "It's up to you?"
"What are you talking about?"
"I mean, my parents won't really care if I died, and if I don't do it then I'll die sometime anyways, or I might never get the chance of living forever. If I do take the operation, I might die and then I wouldn't have lived as long as I could have if I hadn't done it. It depends on you. I know that I'll die for sure if I don't do this, but do want to risk losing me like that or wait it out and let me die later?"
Spike stared at her as they reached the red light. His mind was going crazy. If she did take the operation then she might live forever, but she might die sooner and he wouldn't get as much time to see her if she didn't take the operation. Bloody illnesses. Makes things so complicated.
"Pet, I think you should at least tell your parents."
"I guess." The rest of the way was made in silence. Crap. Always quiet. This girl needs to talk more!
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
"Mom, Dad?"called Buffy. She walked into the living room and saw her father was sitting in the chair drinking god knows what and was watching a football game. She looked over at the corner of the room and saw her mother was writing checks for the bills. "Um........I have to talk to you." No answer. "It's about my sickness."
"Honey, what is it?"asked Joyce clearly frusterated.
"Well, I went today to the doctor and he said that he can get the tumor out , but there is a fifty fifty chance."
"The ddoooc-er is ly-ng..." said Hank, dropping the bottle of alcohol. It shattered, pieces dropping everywhere,
"Betty, clean it up."
"It's Buffy."
"What did you say?" said Hank getting up, very angry.
"Um.......nothing,"said Buffy, quickly getting on her knees and picking up the glass pieces. Hank pulled her by the hair.
"You little slut! Shut your mouth! I know my own daughter's name!" said Hank, hitting Buffy in the eye with every sentence said.
"I'm sorry....." said Buffy, crying uncontrollably. He let go of her and she quickly ran upstairs to her room. She locked the door and sat on her bed. She threw her frames that were filled with pictures of her and her mom and dad. She just sat there, hair everywere, breathing heavily, tears strolling down her cheeks. She looked around her room and suddenly got up and went to her desk drawer.
She grabbed the knife she had for opening envelopes. She cut into her arm, leaving blood pouring out of her smooth tan skin. Her sadness and anger was all she was thinking about which made the pain seem exiguous. She cut another slash through her other arm. That night she cried herself to sleep, leaving blood stained sheets with salty water on her pillows. &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& Buffy woke up in the morning and quickly got dressed. She wore her blue jean , small shorts with a pink short sleeved top and a jacket to hid the cut marks, even though it was buring outside. Why did god have to pick this day to be the hot day of autumn? She got her sneakers on and ran out the door, in urgency to leave without her parents seeing.
She hadn't seen Spike all morning because he had been getting his books and other supplies for his classes. Quite frankly, Buffy was glad. She liked Spike, but she knew questions would be brought up about the talk with her parents. Buffy flipped her long straight blond hair over her shoulder as she waited for Spike to come.
She started reading a book Spike had given her. She had read the first chapter and honestly, it was a heck of a book. It showed so much passion and angst. It was about a couple loving each other deeply, never leaving each other's side for a second. But there was another woman who had loved the man that had been taken by his lover. The woman who had been jealous of the couple had shot the man she loved on accident instead of the other woman. The second chapter would start off with her journey from then on. Just as Buffy was reading about the troubles the woman had had with her family, Spike came up behind her and put his arms around her waist.
"Luv, you must be boiling. Here......" said Spike taking the jacket off.
"No..." But it was too late. The jacket was off and Spike looked scared out of his mind.
"God........" said Spike as he kept staring at the deep cuts, "I'll kill your father....." "It's not his fault......" Spike had seen the large bruise on her face, with the swollen eye, but had not said anything because he knew she didn't like to talk about her abuse from her father, but this..............this was too much.
"Then who did?"asked Spike.
"..................I - I did."
Spike tilted his head. "What?................."
"I was just angry with my parents and I got out of control with my temper and I grabbed the knife. I just wanted to feel something else other than anger." "Do you want me to check it out for you?"
"No! I'm a big girl so stop treating me like a little wounded puppy!" snapped Buffy.
"Sorry..........." said Spike as he put his head down.
"Listen..." said Buffy softly lifting his chin up, "I .........I just need to cool down, okay. I didn't mean that. I appreciate all you have done and being there for me. I guess I just...........it just feels so different being with you. " At Spike's confused look she added, "I've never felt so cared for and loved by anyone, but you." Spike kissed her and at the end of it, Buffy lingered her lips on his, savoring the taste of them.
"Do you want to......................do you want to come to the doctors with me on Saturday?"
"Yeah. I promise to be there, luv."
"Thanks............bye,"said Buffy walking away.
Spike caught ahold of her arm,"and pet?"
"Yeah?"
"Take care of yourself." Buffy smiled and nodded and went back to walking to her fifth period class.
A/N: Thank you so much for the great reviews. Please send more!They make me so happy! Anyways, fi you have questions email em at Spikesbabygirls@yahoo.com I check my email all the time and make sure to leave you email address so I can get back to you.Thank you!
Buffy ran downstairs as she heard a knock on the door. She peered through the little spy hole. It was Spike. She didn't want to open the door in the outfit she had on at the moment. She was wearing a white sleevless top with blue jean overalls. Her hair was braided in two french ones. She had been cleaning her room upstairs.
Buffy opened the door anyway. "Spike, hey."
"Hi,"said Spike.
"So, uh do you want to come in? Actually wait, that would be a bad idea. How about we talk on the porch?"
"Sure, luv." Once outside, they sat on the swinging chair.
"So, was there a reason you came?"
"Um, yeah. Luv..............I............how are you feeling today?"
"Uh...good.....I guess," said Buffy, with a confused look.
"Good....good. Um, it's just Willow told me that um.............well, she said.........."
"Yeah? Is there something wrong with you?"
"Pet, I was going to ask you that."
"What do you mean? There's nothing wrong with me-" but Buffy stopped as she realised Willow had told Spike about her illness.
"I'm fine......." said Buffy softly.
"Luv, why didn't you tell me?"
"I just.......I don't want you to feel pity for me. I don't want you to act........weird around me."
"Pet, when did it start?"
"About a year ago. I stopped taking medication last month. The doctors say I'll live a couple of months longer. And I just want to live my life to the fullest."
"What if you went back on the medication?" "Then I'd probably make it." "Then why the bloody hell did you stop?"
Buffy rose, now slightly yelling, "Don't you think I want to live? I want to go to college, get married, have a family, grow up to be wrinkly and go to live on Catalina Island, the old people getaway. I want to do so much!" "Then take the medicine!" "I can't! It hurts too much. It's too ...........hard, "said Buffy softly, "and my parents can't afford it."
"I'll help pay, luv."
"I don't want you to! Don't you get it? Just let me live my life. I was fine until you came here accusing me of sucide!"
"Luv, I'm sorry, but I love you. I don't want you to die. Ever. Why can't you please just take the bloody medicine for me?"
"I've tried. I 'm getting all these weird tingly feelings and I want to be near you every second and I think it's love......I'm not sure. Can it be love this early?......................... It's just......it's too hard. The pain.....it's worst than anything you've ever imagined."
"God, pet. I'm sorry. You know I would hate to see you in pain, but, luv, think about the reward. The gift of living. It will all be worth it."
"I know........why did this have to happen to me?" asked Buffy, tears falling down on her cheeks. Spike cradled her head to his chest.
"Shhhh, luv..................Everything is going to be alright. I'll pay for it. You'll get better. You have to........"
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"Well, Buffy. It seems that we can get the tumor out. It will cost a lot-" said Doctor Smith.
"Don't worry about the money, doc," said Spike. "And the risk is high," said Dr. Smith as he finished what he was going to say.
"How high?" asked Spike, suddenly feeling nervous.
"About fifty fifty," said Dr. Smith, "I'll give you guys time to talk about it. Call me when you decide on something."
"Thank you,"said Buffy. You could say the appointment had gone alright. The news about the chance of Buffy not living through the operation had scared Spike though. They were in the car and it was silent.
"So, pet. Do you have an idea of what you're going to do?"said Spike, breaking that oh-so-horrible silence. "It's up to you?"
"What are you talking about?"
"I mean, my parents won't really care if I died, and if I don't do it then I'll die sometime anyways, or I might never get the chance of living forever. If I do take the operation, I might die and then I wouldn't have lived as long as I could have if I hadn't done it. It depends on you. I know that I'll die for sure if I don't do this, but do want to risk losing me like that or wait it out and let me die later?"
Spike stared at her as they reached the red light. His mind was going crazy. If she did take the operation then she might live forever, but she might die sooner and he wouldn't get as much time to see her if she didn't take the operation. Bloody illnesses. Makes things so complicated.
"Pet, I think you should at least tell your parents."
"I guess." The rest of the way was made in silence. Crap. Always quiet. This girl needs to talk more!
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
"Mom, Dad?"called Buffy. She walked into the living room and saw her father was sitting in the chair drinking god knows what and was watching a football game. She looked over at the corner of the room and saw her mother was writing checks for the bills. "Um........I have to talk to you." No answer. "It's about my sickness."
"Honey, what is it?"asked Joyce clearly frusterated.
"Well, I went today to the doctor and he said that he can get the tumor out , but there is a fifty fifty chance."
"The ddoooc-er is ly-ng..." said Hank, dropping the bottle of alcohol. It shattered, pieces dropping everywhere,
"Betty, clean it up."
"It's Buffy."
"What did you say?" said Hank getting up, very angry.
"Um.......nothing,"said Buffy, quickly getting on her knees and picking up the glass pieces. Hank pulled her by the hair.
"You little slut! Shut your mouth! I know my own daughter's name!" said Hank, hitting Buffy in the eye with every sentence said.
"I'm sorry....." said Buffy, crying uncontrollably. He let go of her and she quickly ran upstairs to her room. She locked the door and sat on her bed. She threw her frames that were filled with pictures of her and her mom and dad. She just sat there, hair everywere, breathing heavily, tears strolling down her cheeks. She looked around her room and suddenly got up and went to her desk drawer.
She grabbed the knife she had for opening envelopes. She cut into her arm, leaving blood pouring out of her smooth tan skin. Her sadness and anger was all she was thinking about which made the pain seem exiguous. She cut another slash through her other arm. That night she cried herself to sleep, leaving blood stained sheets with salty water on her pillows. &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& Buffy woke up in the morning and quickly got dressed. She wore her blue jean , small shorts with a pink short sleeved top and a jacket to hid the cut marks, even though it was buring outside. Why did god have to pick this day to be the hot day of autumn? She got her sneakers on and ran out the door, in urgency to leave without her parents seeing.
She hadn't seen Spike all morning because he had been getting his books and other supplies for his classes. Quite frankly, Buffy was glad. She liked Spike, but she knew questions would be brought up about the talk with her parents. Buffy flipped her long straight blond hair over her shoulder as she waited for Spike to come.
She started reading a book Spike had given her. She had read the first chapter and honestly, it was a heck of a book. It showed so much passion and angst. It was about a couple loving each other deeply, never leaving each other's side for a second. But there was another woman who had loved the man that had been taken by his lover. The woman who had been jealous of the couple had shot the man she loved on accident instead of the other woman. The second chapter would start off with her journey from then on. Just as Buffy was reading about the troubles the woman had had with her family, Spike came up behind her and put his arms around her waist.
"Luv, you must be boiling. Here......" said Spike taking the jacket off.
"No..." But it was too late. The jacket was off and Spike looked scared out of his mind.
"God........" said Spike as he kept staring at the deep cuts, "I'll kill your father....." "It's not his fault......" Spike had seen the large bruise on her face, with the swollen eye, but had not said anything because he knew she didn't like to talk about her abuse from her father, but this..............this was too much.
"Then who did?"asked Spike.
"..................I - I did."
Spike tilted his head. "What?................."
"I was just angry with my parents and I got out of control with my temper and I grabbed the knife. I just wanted to feel something else other than anger." "Do you want me to check it out for you?"
"No! I'm a big girl so stop treating me like a little wounded puppy!" snapped Buffy.
"Sorry..........." said Spike as he put his head down.
"Listen..." said Buffy softly lifting his chin up, "I .........I just need to cool down, okay. I didn't mean that. I appreciate all you have done and being there for me. I guess I just...........it just feels so different being with you. " At Spike's confused look she added, "I've never felt so cared for and loved by anyone, but you." Spike kissed her and at the end of it, Buffy lingered her lips on his, savoring the taste of them.
"Do you want to......................do you want to come to the doctors with me on Saturday?"
"Yeah. I promise to be there, luv."
"Thanks............bye,"said Buffy walking away.
Spike caught ahold of her arm,"and pet?"
"Yeah?"
"Take care of yourself." Buffy smiled and nodded and went back to walking to her fifth period class.
A/N: Thank you so much for the great reviews. Please send more!They make me so happy! Anyways, fi you have questions email em at Spikesbabygirls@yahoo.com I check my email all the time and make sure to leave you email address so I can get back to you.Thank you!