Bob VO: From the shards of broken bottles I rose, unwilling, tossed upon
tides of pain that flowed and ebbed and left me seeringly awake. And more
revoltingly, with a hangover.
Tami: Good evening, we didn't expect you to wake so soon. You were trashed.
Bob: Where am I? I don't remember.
Tami: Not surprising considering the amount of booze you drank. Know that your name is Bob and you were once a great drinker.
Bob: What exactly happened?
Tami: You got shitfaced and tried to take on an enemy you couldn't defeat. You got your butt kicked and ended up here, tee hee, in my room.
Bob: And who're you?
Tami: I am Tami, and I am here to help you.or myself. Tell me, do you remember your nature?
Bob: I remember the call of nature. Why do I have a penis drawn on my face?
Tami: Let me show the future.the Future Land at Disney World! They've got space mountain, and a water ride, but I don't suggest the water ride. Anyway, this is what has become of Nosgoth. *Tami opens a curtain*
Bob: A brick wall?
Tami: Sorry, wrong curtain. *She closes the curtain* You were once a great general...but you got blasted one night and ran into battle in a drunk stupor. You got your ass soundly kicked. And your army was scattered. Everyone thought you dead.
Bob: Who kicked my ass?
Tami: The Sarafan. An army of fanatical humans sworn to eradicate all vampires from the world, and to bake the perfect pie.
Bob: They have not succeeded.
Tami: Not yet, but their bakers are skilled. We've been trying to restore order in the city.
Bob: The natural order?
Tami: No, fast food orders. I've been waiting on my cheeseburger for months!
Bob: You said you found me blitzed, who are you?
Tami: We are the Cable, we seek to undermine the Sarafan at every turn, and steal their pie recipes.
Bob: I thought you were the-
Tami: Nope, copyright infringement.
Bob: Ahh.
Tami: We need you Bob, mostly because of your legendary lemon merengue pie recipe.
Bob: I have a pie recipe?
Tami: Your memory will return in time. For now, we'll continue bastardizing the character you're parodying by making you into a super cool ultra trendy gothic prettyboy.
Bob: Sounds neato, but I remember playing the part of a pawn once before. It ended badly.
Tami: Oh, you were awake when I did that to you?
Bob: What?
Tami: .nevermind.
Bob: Ok, lets go kill this Sarafan Lord!
Tami: If it were so easy, we would have done it ourselves. He too is protected by other vampires.
Bob: Vampires in service to the Sarafan, are they mad?
Tami: Yes, the Sarafan have a better dental plan.
Bob: Oh, *shrugs shoulders* makes sense. Gotta have a dental plan.
Bob VO: My senses spun around me, I was still sloshed.
Tami: You should have eaten before you drank. And never beer before liquor. Oh well, better late than never. Come on, Bob lets go to GothDonald's.
Tami: Good evening, we didn't expect you to wake so soon. You were trashed.
Bob: Where am I? I don't remember.
Tami: Not surprising considering the amount of booze you drank. Know that your name is Bob and you were once a great drinker.
Bob: What exactly happened?
Tami: You got shitfaced and tried to take on an enemy you couldn't defeat. You got your butt kicked and ended up here, tee hee, in my room.
Bob: And who're you?
Tami: I am Tami, and I am here to help you.or myself. Tell me, do you remember your nature?
Bob: I remember the call of nature. Why do I have a penis drawn on my face?
Tami: Let me show the future.the Future Land at Disney World! They've got space mountain, and a water ride, but I don't suggest the water ride. Anyway, this is what has become of Nosgoth. *Tami opens a curtain*
Bob: A brick wall?
Tami: Sorry, wrong curtain. *She closes the curtain* You were once a great general...but you got blasted one night and ran into battle in a drunk stupor. You got your ass soundly kicked. And your army was scattered. Everyone thought you dead.
Bob: Who kicked my ass?
Tami: The Sarafan. An army of fanatical humans sworn to eradicate all vampires from the world, and to bake the perfect pie.
Bob: They have not succeeded.
Tami: Not yet, but their bakers are skilled. We've been trying to restore order in the city.
Bob: The natural order?
Tami: No, fast food orders. I've been waiting on my cheeseburger for months!
Bob: You said you found me blitzed, who are you?
Tami: We are the Cable, we seek to undermine the Sarafan at every turn, and steal their pie recipes.
Bob: I thought you were the-
Tami: Nope, copyright infringement.
Bob: Ahh.
Tami: We need you Bob, mostly because of your legendary lemon merengue pie recipe.
Bob: I have a pie recipe?
Tami: Your memory will return in time. For now, we'll continue bastardizing the character you're parodying by making you into a super cool ultra trendy gothic prettyboy.
Bob: Sounds neato, but I remember playing the part of a pawn once before. It ended badly.
Tami: Oh, you were awake when I did that to you?
Bob: What?
Tami: .nevermind.
Bob: Ok, lets go kill this Sarafan Lord!
Tami: If it were so easy, we would have done it ourselves. He too is protected by other vampires.
Bob: Vampires in service to the Sarafan, are they mad?
Tami: Yes, the Sarafan have a better dental plan.
Bob: Oh, *shrugs shoulders* makes sense. Gotta have a dental plan.
Bob VO: My senses spun around me, I was still sloshed.
Tami: You should have eaten before you drank. And never beer before liquor. Oh well, better late than never. Come on, Bob lets go to GothDonald's.