A/N: Woah. When I finished this up, I was like 'woah'. Serious angst flowing in this chapter. I'm having problems with deciding if I should use past or present tense. I'm sticking to present tense although some past tense will be here at the beginning of this chapter.
Little Futura
Hands touch the cold, dusty walls. A graffiti on the wall marked 'Nova was here - 1988' told the building's age. Thinking for a moment, the adolescent that was once here was a high school truant who was lost on this island and stayed here only momentarily. She was waiting for someone to pick her up.
A pause and comes a dramatic sigh.
That is the most I can reach to for now.
Ten years later, I am a second adolescent that crosses this path once taken, and is coincidently waiting for someone too. A red marker scribbles on the wall below it. Hopefully no one will be mad at me for doing such a dirty thing.
Tam-tam was here - 1998
There.
No. I'm not waiting for anyone. No one will come back for me. They will remember Anna.
Beautiful.
Favorite.
Strong.
Admired.
If I can become one. Even one, I'll be happy. Really, I will.
"I'm bored!" barked Ponchi. He struck his head into the wall several times. "Bored! Tamao! Strip to keep us entertained!"
"Stop saying that!" I cry. A toss of my ouija board knocks it over the wooden boxes. Spirit force, Mikihisa told me. The faint waves of the dead that wish to become one of the living. I always thought it was the other way around.
And Yoh. I wish I can become his...
No. I can't think such terrible thoughts!
Even if I didn't get to see him that much because of Mikihisa's mountain climbing, every time I came home, he would be there and a warm feeling would glow in my heart. Yoh. The only child. He must have seen me only as a sister. I wonder what he does in those long days after he finishes his training with Grandpa Yohmei.
The warm feeling of a family. Although I'm not related by blood, the heart is there. Mikihisa, Keiko, Yohmei, Kino, and Yoh. We are family. And I would be a second daughter.
If it was not for Anna. If it was not for Kino to constantly boast in front of me. I smile and encourage her to go on. Kino continuing to say that Anna is far better than what Mikihisa does for me. Indirectly, she says I am weaker, stupider, and slower than the best student of the famed, aged itako.
When there is shame, I smile. I cry for a silent moment. It hurts to be put away. It hurts to be embarassed and to be ridiculed, even if my predictions were right. I asked Yoh what it may mean. He says it could be boring to them.
And I am.
To rip my heart into pieces at dinner, when Kino announces boldly to take her best student and have her become engaged to Yoh. He leaves to see her and the cat spirit, Matamune only stares several more seconds before he leaves with him. And when they come back, I could only smile and congratulate Yoh.
Your life is written and perfect. You shall have no more worries for the future. Where should that leave me?
Non-existent.
My hand digs into the sands of the earth. I wait for an answer and nothing shows up. Manta does not come back. Faust has taken him. How strange. I didn't even here them. I have never met this Faust...a doctor from Germany.
I hear my name nowhere.
Tamao Tamamura. If someone calls my name, I'll be glad to answer. There is no place for me to answer. A worthless ouija board, two comical spirits that humiliate me, a shameful personality is all I have to take with me to where they are for there is nowhere else for me to go.