Part 5
After the basement door closed behind Hyde we sat in stunned silence at the kitchen table. Red stared down at his half empty coffee mug, running his finger along the rim. Mom kept looking from him to me and back again.
"They left?" She finally exploded, literally hopping with rage in her chair.
"Wow." That was pretty much the only word rattling around inside my head. It was weird, I had kind of been expecting this to happen, but at the same time, when it did, I was completely shocked.
Mom got up from the table and started rummaging through the kitchen cabinets, causing Dad and I to exchange glances.
"Wow." I repeated. "Poor Hyde." He had delivered his news casually, but somewhere down underneath the zen façade, he had to be upset. In spite of what he'd have me and everyone else believe, he wasn't an emotionless robot. Actually, he might have been, but I kept clinging to that little shred of hope that he wasn't.
"Oh, Hyde'll be fine." As usual, Dad immediately took the opposite viewpoint of my own. He turned in his chair so he could see Mom tearing the cabinets apart. "See, Kitty, this graduation thing just isn't good. I mean, there's really no way this can turn out well, so why bother going?"
The cabinet door slammed shut. "Red." Mom's voice was dangerously low. "We are all going. Go up and put on your suit, right now."
Dad sighed, knowing he couldn't argue, and stood, turning to glare down at me. "The one good thing that comes out of this is you'll finally be out of my house." And with those final words of love, he pushed his way through the door into the living room.
"You know what, why don't I go talk to Hyde?" I decided. It couldn't be any worse than being in the same room with Red. Hyde wasn't bald, the light didn't reflect off his head, how bad could it be?
"Try to talk him into coming today!" Mom called from inside the cabinet next to the stove, emerging triumphantly with her prize.
"Right, like I have a death wish." I muttered as I hurried down the stairs to the basement. Kelso and Fez were the only people down there. Fez was sitting in the lawn chair, while Kelso bent over him, adjusting his mortarboard hat.
"Guys, where's Hyde?"
"His room." Fez said from under Kelso's arms. "The son of a bitch did not even say Good Morning to me."
"Yeah..." I let that conversation trail off and die, trying to decide if my position as he best friend negated the possible hostile threats and actions that would follow my barging uninvited into his room.
While I was contemplating this, Jackie entered through the outside door, followed by Donna. Jackie didn't really look any different than she ever did, but Donna was dressed up. Well, Donna was wearing a skirt, which is dressed up for Donna. She doesn't wear skirts very often, which is kind of a downer for me. If I had my way, she'd wear them all the time. Actually, if I had my way, she'd walk around in a bikini. Yeah, bikinis are good.
"Oh my god, Jackie!" Kelso was practically yelling with excitement. "Please tell me you have hairpins!"
"Why, Michael?" Jackie demanded, arching an eyebrow.
"Fez's hat won't stay on!"
Donna rolled her eyes as she sat down on the couch, crossing her legs. "And how's your day going, Eric?"
"Oh, you know..." I shrugged. "My mother is drinking wine at ten in the morning, and as usual, my father hates me! God, Donna, I hate my life."
Hyde had emerged from his room during this little speech and spoke behind me, causing me to jump a good three inches in the air. "Oh, boo-hoo, we all feel so sorry for Forman and his problems."
Yeah, I'd go out on a limb here and say he was a little bitter.
"That's right." I crossed my arms. "Go ahead, take your bad mood out on me." I followed this with an eloquent, long-suffering sigh. Oh god, was that ever the wrong thing to say. Hyde was pissed off, and I started looking for a fast escape plan. I could probably run and make it to the stairs before he grabbed and beat me. If that didn't work, I'd just scream and let Donna save my life.
By this time, Donna and Jackie had figured out that all was not well and were watching us in confusion.
"Hyde..." I started.
"Shut up, Forman."
"Hyde, look, I'm really sorry."
"Whatever." He turned on his heel and started back towards his room.
"No, not whatever!" I chased after him, ducking between him and the door to his room. "What happened to the garage?"
"What you really expected that to work out?" Hyde stopped, eyeing me in disbelief. "It was pretty obvious it wouldn't, dumbass."
Now that was a cheap shot. No one calls me a dumbass and gets away with it. Except for Red, of course, because he's evil and scary. "If it was so obvious, then why'd you go along with it?" I said it partly because I had nothing else for ammunition, and partly because I was hoping for an explanation. I should have known the latter wouldn't happen. All it earned me was another stony glare and no response. I hated the cigar store Indian routine.
"Steven, what happened?" Jackie asked from behind me.
"Nothing." Hyde said flatly. "Forman, move."
I didn't move.
Hyde rolled his eyes, turned and pushed his way past Jackie to the outside door.
"Yeah, good plan, Hyde!" I yelled after him. "Just leave! Great plan!"
He spun around and came after me. I screamed, but then again, he hit me pretty hard.
I'd been friends with Hyde for ten years, and we've never hit each other. We've wrestled around a little, and he slapped me once, but he'd never punched me before. I was completely shocked for about three seconds, and then my face hurt too much for me to think about anything else.
Donna and Fez both grabbed Hyde and pulled him back, but he didn't seem too intent on coming after me again. He shrugged Donna and Fez off and stood there uncertainly.
"Oh my God, Eric, are you okay?" Jackie's eyes had to be twice their usual size. Kelso was standing behind her, hairpins in his mouth, looking even more confused than usual.
"I'm fine." I picked myself up off the floor, touching my face gingerly. "What the hell, Hyde?"
He didn't answer, just turned around and left through the outside door without so much as looking at me.
"Steven, wait!" Jackie went clattering after him, skirt and handbag flying behind her.
"Wow!" Kelso stepped forward and bent down to inspect my face. "Did he hit your eye?"
~*~
Kitty carefully turned the cake pan upside down over the plate, gently tapping the bottom so the cake would fall out onto the plate in one piece.
"Hi, Mrs. Forman." Hyde pushed the sliding door open.
"Happy Birthday, Steven!" Kitty circled around the end of counter to kiss the top of his head and give him a hug, which he promptly ducked out of.
"Where's Eric?" He climbed up onto one of the tall chairs at the counter.
"Here sweetie, stir this." Kitty set a bowl of chocolate frosting in front of him and handed him a spoon. "Eric went over to Michael's house. With a shovel." She added, frowning.
"Kelso's digging a swimming pool in his backyard for summer." Hyde explained.
"Oh my." Kitty shook her head. The Kelsos weren't going to be pleased when they figured out what he was doing. She was just glad Michael wasn't her child. Keeping track of Laurie was trouble enough for her. "So, Steven, how was your birthday?"
Hyde looked up from the frosting. "My mom forgot."
Kitty ran water into the cake pan and started scrubbing furiously at the metal. At the very least, he deserved to have his own parents remember his birthday.
"I didn't hear from my dad either." He added quietly, concentrating on the frosting again.
She wasn't surprised to hear that, but she was a little surprised that he brought it up. He didn't seem to be looking for a response, and she wasn't really sure what to say, so she kept scrubbing at the pan, and he kept stirring the frosting. As she set the clean pan in the dish drainer, she glanced over at him just in time to see him swipe his free hand across his eyes.
"Oh, Steven, come here!" She hurried back around the counter and half hugged him, half pulled him down from the chair. In the chair, he was taller than she was. This time, he didn't duck away from her.
"I'm okay." He said finally, pulling away and stepping back towards the door, before pausing. "You know what?"
"What?"
"Sometimes I wish you were actually my mom."
~*~
Mom was a little tipsy by the time I made it back upstairs, and she completely freaked out when she saw my eye. There was a lot said about her little baby boy, and having nothing left to live for, but I'm not sure that had anything to do with the way my face looked. I didn't feel like even trying to explain what had happened to her and Red, so I escaped up to my room as soon as I could.
I didn't look in the mirror until I was almost ready to get ready to leave. I wasn't so sure it was a good idea when I did, seeing the ugly blackish purple color my eye socket was turning actually made it hurt more. That was going to look really good in the graduation photos.
A quiet rap on my bedroom door interrupted my inspection, and I straightened up and away from the mirror just as Hyde opened the door enough to poke his head through. "Hey, Forman."
"You stay away from me!" I ducked around onto the other side of the bookcase, holding my hands up to shield my face. Hyde's method of smoothing things over was to just pretend everything was back to normal. I knew that was why he was standing in my room right now, and I just couldn't let it happen without bugging him just a little. It was kind of a mean thing for me to do, but it worked, I saw a tiny little flicker of guilt on his face.
"Look, Eric, I'm sorry about earlier, okay?" He didn't quite make eye contact, apparently fascinated with the wall behind me instead. He was still wearing his jeans and t-shirt, the sunglasses hooked on the neck of the shirt, and I assumed that meant he was still planning on skipping the graduation ceremony.
I stared blankly for a few seconds, not quite believing my ears. "Oh my God, an actual apology?" I blurted finally. Hyde never apologized, even if he had a reason to. Hyde assumed, ignored or forgot, but he never, ever apologized. "You never apologize!" Maybe he had forgotten.
"I've never had a reason to before." Hyde justified.
"Yes, you have!" My voice took on a supremely indignant tone. I couldn't even begin to list all the things he should have apologized for. I'm basically the best friend ever for even putting up with him.
"Okay, fine! Sorry for all those too, you big baby." Hyde rolled his eyes and stretched out on my bed, making himself comfortable.
"It's okay." I smiled benevolently and reached over to pat his shoulder. "I forgive you."
"Oh God..." Hyde sighed, smacking my hand away.
"You hit me again!" I jumped back and carefully inspected my hand for non-existent damage.
"How long are you going to keep that up?" He half raised his head to glare at me.
"As long as possible?" I smirked, shoving his leg out of the way so I could sit on the end of the bed. "Hyde, I'm sorry too. I should have backed off."
"Joe here looks like he's about to parachute down onto my head. Doesn't that creep you out every night, having a doll leering over you like that?" He was staring up at the GI Joes on my headboard, completely ignoring me.
"Well... it didn't, but it probably will now. Thanks!" If I had a nightmare about a GI Joe attacking me, I was blaming him.
There was silence in the room for the next few minutes, which usually wouldn't bother me, especially if we'd been in the basement and the TV was blaring, or Kelso had been climbing inside the freezer or something, but this wasn't a comfortable silence, this was an awkward silence just begging for me to say something and break it. The obvious "are you okay" was no good in this situation, I knew all I'd get in response was a smart-mouthed insult. I needed something else, something good.
"So, Hyde, are you okay?" Oh my God, what was wrong with me? Didn't I just tell myself not to do that very thing?
He sat up slowly, staring at me with a slightly disgusted look. "Forman, are you stupid?"
"No! I just… sound stupid a lot." I finished lamely. If only my brain would do a better job of communicating with my mouth, it was like they were on two completely different frequencies.
That statement almost made him smile, but not quite. He flopped back onto the pillow and I adopted my best patient attitude, sitting quietly on the bed, knowing eventually he'd say something, bouncing my crossed foot absently as I waited.
"Stop it." Okay, it wasn't exactly what I'd been thinking, but it was something?
"Stop what?"
Hyde lunged for my foot and held it still. He really had no reason to twist my ankle, but he did anyway.
"Ow!" I yanked my foot free. "What the hell? Quit hurting me! I mean it, man!"
"I knew they were going to take off, okay?"
"You did?" I rubbed my ankle, not quite believing him.
"They always do eventually, you know." He was staring up at GI Joe again. "I figured they'd be around a little longer though."
What was I supposed to say to that? I had nothing.
"You know all those stupid class plays and Christmas pageants and parent meetings and crap we've had since kindergarten?"
"Yeah." I remembered most of them well. More often than not, they resulted in some kind of humiliating experience for me. That was just how my life worked; I was used to it by now.
"My parents never made it to a single one."
"Ever?"
"Forty three times."
I'd never realized it bothered him enough that he'd kept track. In fact, I couldn't even begin to imagine keeping track of something like that. "Wow, that's probably the most depressing thing I've ever heard."
"Thanks."
"No problem, glad to help." I patted his knee.
"I kind of wanted them to come today."
Maybe I had been better off with the awkward silence. I had this sudden urge to hug him, kiss the top of his head and make him eat a brownie. "Oh my god, I feel like my Mom!" There was no way that was a healthy reaction.
Hyde didn't miss a beat. "Oddly enough, Forman, that doesn't surprise me."
"Oh... shut up." I hadn't meant to say it out loud.
"Remember tee-ball, and Little League, and Pee Wee football and hockey?" Hyde ticked them all off on his fingers. I suddenly had the horrible feeling he was going to list every single event his parents had missed. We could be here all morning.
"Yeah, back in the days when Red thought I could be good at sports." I shook my head. Boy, had he ever missed the boat on that one. "Your parents made some of those games, man! Remember the one where your mom went after the umpire with the bat? Oh, and the time she started fighting with Kelso's mom on the sidelines and hit her in the eye? That was awesome!"
"Drunk both times." Hyde pointed out.
"You'd have to be to take on Mrs. Kelso."
Hyde sat up again, swinging his legs over until he was sitting next to me, but facing into the room. "Red didn't miss a single game."
I stared at him blankly. "Really?"
"Yeah, I kept track."
"Hyde, exactly how much stuff did you keep track of? Because that's just a little creepy, okay?"
He shrugged.
"You know what, I think you're right. I can't think of a single time where Red wasn't there screaming at me from the sidelines." I did a quick inventory of all the horrible sports memories I had, and sure enough, Red's voice was there every time. "God, I was bad at sports!"
This made Hyde smile. "You still are."
"I know." I sighed. "I'm not good at anything!" It was true, I had absolutely nothing going for me, but it wasn't bad enough to make me pathetic. I wasn't even good at being a loser.
"Suppose we should get ready?" Hyde checked his watch. "It's almost time to leave."
"Wait, you're going to graduation?" I was surprised and more than a little confused.
"Yeah, your mom wants me to go." Hyde sighed, then turned to me, looking decidedly more cheerful than he had earlier. "Hey, your parents still like me more than they do you, that counts for something, right?"
"And you still have me!" I pointed out. If Hyde was going to total up all the positives in his life, the best friend ever had to be included.
Hyde stared at me for several seconds. "You're useless to me." He said finally. "You're not good at anything." His tone and the smirk on his face let on he wasn't serious. Okay, so when it came down to it, maybe I wasn't bad at everything. I was okay with that. For the most part, I had even managed to make it through high school unscathed. There was a possibility that my father was actually proud of me, even though he'd never admit it. It was nice to know that in spite of how much he'd been complaining earlier, he'd still show up for my graduation.
I was so happy about realizing all of this, that I grabbed Hyde and hugged him. This was a special occasion, we were entering into the adult world, there had to be justification for a hug in there somewhere, right? Hyde didn't seem to think so. He swung my pillow, smacked me in the head with it, and knocked me off the bed onto the floor. It was a fitting beginning for our journey into the adult world.
No TBC, that's it! The End, Finito, Etc.