Little Futura

"How many days have gone by?"

The joyous spirit waves its leaf scattering sparkled stars that vanished in the air after several seconds. Kororo hovers around me several times before taking her seat on the dirt floor.

I have lost count of the days that I took off like an idiot. Maybe I should tell Chocolove it was not his fault. He did not deserve that hit in the face. Oh, my parents are not going to pay those medical bills. I am glad that we have a doctor like Faust who does not charge us for medical bills.

"Shall we go back?" I ask. Kororo gives a slight nod. I can only give a grim smile. What is there to do now? Where is Pilica anyhow? Would she not be trying to look for me? Maybe she gave up. No team, no friends, no family, what is there left?

What is there left with my strength that lags behind all others?

What do I have to compare? What do the dreams of those like Kororo have?

Does it become meaningless?

The Funbari Onsen shall fight tomorrow. They are to fight the Ice Men although there is no reason why the Onsens should not win. I have no doubt in my mind that the Funbari Onsen will survive it. I only wish that the same can be for us.

Assholes. So what is it like to feel perfect?

To not worry at all and to always believe life is all good.

It isn't so don't make a deal of how it is. The people who cheer at another's misery, the corrupt human nature.

I realize how much I do not have. There is the point of my suffering. Am I nowhere in the dream plan to be the Shaman King? There is no way at this rate. No way.

Why can I not?

Three good answers. Hao. Jeanne. Sati. The boy hits me like a boy smashing on a cockroach. There is the wave of power that I never thought could possibly exist. Standing so close made me feel as if I may catch on fire and disintegrate from this wretched earth.

There is the Maiden. She is the only hope. An arrogant hope but a hope enough against the killing machine called Hao.

Last, there is Sati, perhaps the potential to be the greatest of them all. Her mysterious background, her genuine, unrelenting nature of peace. If any were to call Jeanne's goal bullshit, Sati's goal is the real thing.

I can only muse about this once more and wonder how can I ever attain such a goal. I am so far behind. Before I met those here, I could defeat anyone. It was so relaxed before I came here, before I met them.

Let's get to the point that I possibly can't do this. There is no way. No amount of work or optimism will take me there. Can Pilica not see that? Ren can. That is why he placed me in his team. The attention, the spotlight, the power will be about him, not the rest of us.

If there is a Hao Asakura, an Iron Maiden, and a Sati, that goal is not possible.

I do not need another dream. Someone else can take care of that for me.

If I die, it would not matter. Yoh can fulfill my dream for me. He promised that. Yoh.

Yoh is too perfect for the job. He does not have to do anything but he can do everything. Anna's training only inspires him to work which he rarely does so where does his real strength come from? How can anyone be so damn perfect?

Why can I not have some of that?

Kororo's face remains downcast. I have been a horrible person. I am a horrible person. Too bad, I'm nothing like that perfect Asakura kid. Too bad that they will just have to live with that.

"What would you like to do, Kororo?"

She stands and points to the plain forest, a cliff that houses a large village with a towering waterfall called the Great Spirit. I sigh in a way it hurts. It hurts like emphysema. I must have stopped breathing at one point from the pain. Pilica always complained to Dad about telling me to stop doing that to myself.

But you can only mope for so long.

Then it gets a little boring.

Shaman King. King of Spirits. Then what? We are finished. The next tournament and the one after that. The only thing it has done was dragged our people into the helldom that I and so many are experiencing. It is tearing us apart and we don't even know it.

Those Patch. They have a greater malicious intent, do they not? The Powers don't have to worry about it though. They are far too powerful to have the Patch's strength affect them directly but their powers have been destroying themselves.

Since I have arrived, I have never met anyone who has hesitated to murder. Animals that murder. We do no hesitate to murder, they do not hesitate to murder, and Funbari Onsen will come close to the time it will.

Someone is killed outside the tournament area and the reaction is set. There are no rules for war outside of the battleground. The battleground is everyone. The only people who you can trust is your alliance. It is the survival of the fittest.

Until the fittest is the last one to be fit. And too he shall die.

"Kororo." I stand. "I'm bored. Let's go." Kororo leaps in the air with hope in her eyes. "We'll make an impressive display." If it is one thing, I am glad that spirits refused to be ordered around but remain loyal at the same time. Real people can't do that. We are animals, creatures, and horrible demons.

The spirits only listen to our pity.

Returning to the city was simple. The entrance was remarkably easy when recalling the fighting we had that led us to this silent town. It is the town that threatened to take us in and now we are locked in. Now we await and see how and who will live.

I met some tourists along the way and they excitedly chatter of a 'Shaman Fight' not knowing what even the word 'shaman' was. The men were more excited treating it more of a wrestling match.

They must believe it is a skit. I wish it were true. No one would die. If they did, it would be multiple times. Then they would get back up when the curtains fall. No one would be afraid or hurt. The show will go on and will be well.

How cruel this reality is.

I at last return to this demon town. There are not as many tourists anymore. Yet some who are here take pictures of the Patch as part of the 'act'. Although I see Silva having a good time making sells of his small, souvenir shack, it makes me scowl to see how he can smile when there are those like me who suffer because of what he does.

Then I see Yoh. Another person is with him but I do not recognize her well. Long blonde hair flows next to him. But it is not Anna. I bite my lip and begin to follow them.

"Yoh!" I yell. It became too boring to follow. He notices and smiles ecstatically. The girl sees me but does not say a word. A cold expression is present on her face but it is cold, mysterious, and so observing. It makes me feel somewhat self-conscious. Her pale skin illuminates her green eyes and lightens her bright golden hair that tumbles freely.

And she looks familiar too.

"Is this Marion?" I ask. What is she doing with Yoh? Maybe he managed to sparkle his preaching sermons and converted her.

"Marion is free." Yoh smiles. "Is that right?" She nods. Free? How? "She knows a bit about where Tamao is."

"What do you mean free?"

"Exactly what I meant." Marion speaks coldly. It is not like Anna's voice. Anna's voice is demanding and stern but it had the Japanese touch to it. Marion held the Italian posture of hers and her voice flowed much deeper than Anna's. And Marion too spoke in this way that made her seem uplifting.

I can almost feel my mouth drop. I felt as if I was told off for something else.

"Tamao is not back yet?" I ask. Perhaps if I do rescue her, I can ask her out, and get a girlfriend at last. It has been so embarrassing with Yoh being stronger, better, and years ahead of me on his social life.

"We know where she is." Yoh gives a weak smile.

"Oh? Then what is taking so long?" I ask.

"We know where she is." Yoh's voice dies to a whisper.

"She is with Hao. She divorced from us." The doll master explains without holding back. I blink. This must be a dream. I am awake.

"Is she crazy? He might kill her!" I wave my arms. Marion frowns to her dismay and looks at me again. It seems to have sent a hidden message. "Trading spouses?"

"Do not talk of me as of his alliance." Marion looks away.

"I don't know why, but if she is happy. I guess..." Yoh shrugs. I have never seen Yoh in such a mental state. He was always the perfect, supporting character, the boy that would never leave anyone down. In my mind, he only smiled and was perfect in every way. He protected you like a good dog and made sure you were well like he was your servant. Everything about him was a puking perfect that even I sometimes admire.

But today is not the day for the perfect Yoh.

It is the human Yoh I have seen the for the first time.

"How is my sister?" I coldly change the subject. Then a part of me wants to triumph now that this Yoh has a flaw. It does make me feel a little better in that sense.

"She is fine. She is a little upset that you ran off the way you did." He shrugs again. "But she did say that you would eventually come back so we have all been waiting definitely for you."

However, as we return to our place, the door opens before we reach the sloping, crusty steps. Marco, the X-Law lead, and Jeanne walk down the steps and past me and Yoh like we were ghosts.

Mere ghosts. An ironic state it has become.