Between Us~Chapter 7~Truth Revealed
Hi ya, I'm back!! Ok, I would start out by campaigning for more reviews, but I won't because I was dumb enough to admit my reviewing history to Jamie and now she has the power to make me feel guilty for asking. So, if you'd like, please review. Unless of course you'd like Chandler's evil twin brother to show up. His twin's name is…umm...Chuck. Ialol…that was the dumbest thing I've said all day!! (Of course, I woke up 2 hours ago and I haven't talked to anyone yet). Anyways, yeah, Chuck's sharpening his knife so you'd better watch out.;-) Anyways, please read, review, and have a happy Easter or Passover or Spring break…w/e u're celebrating. (Spring break for me is 3 days. How much does that suck?! That's not a break!!)
Disclaimer: This is normally the place where I make fun of Yen in form or another. However, since she got me a UJ code, (hehe u havta see what I've done so far…or what I've done to Yen's. Monkeyitis!) I'll havta let her off the hook…for this chapter. Love ya Yen and I don't own these characters! Although I do own a monkey sex slave!;) *sighs*
That morning, Monica awoke with the first rays of sunlight. Her primary realization was that she had a huge headache. She moaned softly at the pain and then noticed she wasn't in her bedroom. She nervously turned to face the man holding her and sighed contentedly when she remembered the night before. Chandler felt Monica stirring and opened his eyes. She smiled at him as he sat up against the bed board.
"'Morning," he greeted groggily.
She turned and slithered next to him. "'Morning."
He wrapped an arm around Monica and kissed her temple. "How'd you sleep?"
"Pretty well. Your bed's really comfortable!"
"Yeah, well Joey broke mine two years ago and I decided to go all out and buy the most comfortable one."
"How'd Joey break it?"
"Oh, he thought it would be fun to…see…how fast a bed could roll down a hill."
"Okay…"
"My thoughts exactly."
Monica looked down at his blue comforter and picked out a thread nervously.
"So, what are you gonna be doing tonight?"
Monica shrugged.
"Well, I'm gonna break up with Jill, but after th—"
"Break up with her?"
"Well, yeah. I mean we're…gonna try it…aren't we?"
Monica looked at Chandler nervously. "I…"
Chandler's face fell. "You don't want to?"
"It's not that I don't want to, it's just…I'm not in that place right now."
"What?"
"Look Chandler, you're a great guy—my best friend in fact! But I can't have a boyfriend now. I'm still trying to get my life back on track."
"But—" Chandler looked into Monica's pleading eyes and immediately resigned. "I can wait for you."
"Don't wait for me. I'm not worth it."
"But Mon, you are!"
Monica shook her head forcefully. "Please, just get on with life, all right?"
Chandler nodded hesitantly.
"It was just one night of pent up emotions," Monica continued, "Now that this is out of our systems, we can go back to normal lives."
"You're right," Chandler agreed quietly.
However, neither truly believed those words.
"I should…get ready for work."
Chandler nodded and handed Monica his tee shirt, which she gratefully pulled over her head.
"What do you want for breakfast?"
"You don't havta make anything."
"I want to."
"Well, in that case, pancakes would be great."
"No problem."
Chandler watched as Monica left her room and sighed. If she was right about it merely being lust, then why did the fact that they wouldn't be together hurt him so much?
*~*~*~*
A half an hour later, fully dressed and slightly fazed, Chandler staggered out of his bedroom. The smell of freshly baked pancakes permeated throughout the room, and Chandler's stomach started to rumble. He hadn't noticed just how hungry he had been. He saw Monica hunched over the stove with a look of concentration plastered on her face. She was attempting to make the pancakes perfectly fluffy and brown, so to not leave Chandler with all disappointments. Sure the pancakes wouldn't replace what had happened, but she thought, perhaps, they could cushion it. She looked up from the stove and noticed him studying her. She blushed and turned away. She wasn't supposed to still feel that way for him!
"How many do you want?"
"Three sounds good."
Monica removed the last pancake from the pan and slid it carefully on top of two other pancakes that had been placed on the plate beforehand. She handed him the plate and he thanked her. Then, they both sat down at the counter and began eating. Though there was a heavy silence, it wasn't exactly awkward. Monica and Chandler were too conflicted to talk to each other. Instead, both of them replayed the events of the past couple days and their heads, and tried to make sense out of everything that had occurred. It was much easier said than done.
"I should go," Chandler stated after ten minutes of pensive silence. Even though he didn't have to be in work for another two hours, he was afraid that, if he stayed much longer, he would end up begging Monica to be his girlfriend. Monica nodded and watched as he got up and left the apartment. A moment later, he reappeared, grabbed his briefcase from its spot next to the door, and left. I bet he's happy I made him leave his briefcase there now, Monica thought triumphantly. She began to clean the dishes and her mind wandered back, yet again, to Chandler. He had been so romantic, yet wild with her. The mix was perfect for her that night. As much as she wanted it to be sweet, she needed to let out all of her frustrations. She couldn't even remember the last time she had felt so alive. Probably London, she decided woefully. What was Chandler doing to her?!
*~*~*~*
That afternoon, Chandler sat in Central Perk, alone, sipping coffee. He hadn't been able to get his thoughts off of Monica all day, not that he had really expected to. Everything had moved too fast and confused him too much. He heard the door open, and sighed when he realized it was Jill. How could he even look her straight in the eyes? He had cheated. He'd never done something like that before. How could he have done that?
"Hey, I thought I could find you here."
Chandler nodded. "Wh—what's up?"
"Oh, well my company's having a party tonight, so I just wanted to tell you to pick me up at seven. We have to be there at 7:30, so I think it'll be enough time."
"What if I'm busy tonight?"
She chuckled. "Well, then break your plans, silly. This is much more important."
At first Chandler wanted to protest. To remind Jill that he had a life, and she shouldn't expect him to just drop everything for her. Yet, he couldn't do it. When he looked into her unsuspecting face, he couldn't deny her. A wave of guilt washed over him, pushing him down into an ocean of sorrow. If she were to ever find out what he did to her, he wouldn't be able to bare it. He had betrayed someone. He had become that kind of person that he had tried so hard not to be. The same type of person who had hurt him so often in the past. Thinking back upon his actions, with the woman whom he had betrayed sitting right next to him, caused him to feel ill. He leaned back on the couch and sighed. This was it. He had gotten to the point in his life where he not only hated himself, but was now repulsed by himself.
*~*~*~*
That afternoon, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel sat in Rachel's living room. They sat in silence, none having the words to start a conversation. Maybe Monica was back, but things were surely not how they used to be. Instead, they each stole glances at each other, and when they were caught staring, they offered each other helpless smiles. It didn't seem like they were even acquaintances, not to mention best friends for years.
"So…" Rachel tried, "Pheebs, how's the marriage going?"
Phoebe turned to Rachel excitedly. "Oh my God, it is great!"
"Yeah? That great?" under her breath, Rachel mumbled, "Newlyweds."
"Yeah, he's always so sweet and attentive—"
"Joey, attentive?" Monica wondered.
"Well, whenever I tell him to do something 'or else we will not have sex for a week', he does whatever it is I want him to do."
"Ahh, the upper hand," Rachel recalled, "Best thing the wife has over her husband."
"Do you have that with Ross?"
"Hell yeah!"
Phoebe and Rachel began laughing and sharing more stories about marriage, while Monica just sat there and listened. Sure she had been married. But it wasn't long and it wasn't happy, like their marriages seemed. It was tedious and painful and most of all, a waste of time. Tears began to form at the surface of Monica's eyes, and she wiped them away before anyone saw. They wouldn't understand her distress.
"Mon, you okay?" Phoebe asked worriedly.
Monica sniffed and nodded her head. "I'm just catching a cold. Hey Rach, do you have any tissues?"
"Yeah, there are some in the bathroom."
"Ok, great, thanks."
Monica rose from her seat and walked towards the bathroom. When she entered, she had to grimace. The place was so messy. Monica took out a sponge and disinfectant, and began to clean. As she cleaned, her mind began to wander. All of her relationships were ruined. She didn't feel like she belonged with Phoebe and Rachel, and, while Chandler was now her best friend, they had last night to work out. Monica sighed. Why do I always fall for the wrong guys?
After cleaning for a few more minutes, Monica decided to get back to her friends in the living room. After all, it doesn't take five minutes to get a tissue. She returned and groaned inwardly upon hearing they were still on the topic of marriage. When they noticed her, they stopped talking. She sat down and smiled cautiously at them.
"Mon, we were just wondering…" Rachel began nervously.
Phoebe continued, "Well, see the thing is, we were talking about marriage and what makes people get divorced."
"And since you are the only one of the three of us who was actually in a real marriage when you got divorced, we were just wondering why."
Monica didn't answer them, so Rachel took the time to justify their question further. "I mean you've been home for so long now, and you haven't mentioned anything about your divorce."
"You ever think that there's just nothing to say?" Monica asked with hostility.
"Well you must've had a reason."
"Sure, I had a reason."
"What was it?"
"Sometimes, things just don't work out."
"Yeah, and there's a reason for that!"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Come on," Rachel prodded, "We're your best friends!"
Monica stood up and walked towards the door. "Not anymore."
"Wh—what?" Rachel wondered.
"Best friends would leave it alone! If I say I don't wanna talk about it, I don't want to talk about it!" Monica screamed.
Rachel stood up and faced Monica. "I bet Chandler knows."
"What the--?"
"Yeah, Chandler's your new confidant. Well, fine then."
"Chandler doesn't know either."
"Right."
"I don't understand why you have to make such a big deal out of this."
"I don't understand why you have to make such a big deal out of this!"
Monica and Rachel locked eyes, glare unfaltering.
"So," Phoebe tried, attempting to break the fight, "How about them Yankees?"
Rachel broke her stare and turned to Phoebe. "It's not baseball season."
"Fine, well you try to find something to break the awkwardness!"
"It's ok, Phoebe. You have no reason to. I'm leaving."
"Mon—" Phoebe pleaded.
Monica ignored her and headed for the door. She sent Rachel one last angry glace and walked through the door.
After a moment, Rachel ran out and called to her, "Fine, run away again! But don't think I'm going to let you back in my life again!"
Monica turned around swiftly. "Don't worry. I don't want to be."
With that, Monica picked up her pace and headed down the block in a blind rage.
*~*~*~*
That night, Chandler returned home from the party in low spirits. He had a horrible time there. Jill had abandoned him after five minutes, and no one else there had given him a single look. Instead, he sat at the bar and sipped a few drinks for three hours. He entered his apartment cautiously, not sure if he was ready to see Monica again. However, when he got inside, he found the counter full of empty wine bottles. Thinking that maybe Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe were having one of their 'girl parties', Chandler barely gave it a second glance. However, when he heart low moans from Monica's room, he became worried. All earlier thoughts left his head as he went over to her bedroom and knocked on the door.
"Monica?"
She didn't answer him, so he decided to open the door. After slowly turning the doorknob, in order to give Monica time to notice he was entering, Chandler opened the door and saw Monica sprawled out, face down, on her bed, surrounded by more wine bottles and some pictures.
"Monica?"
She looked up at him, but didn't answer, so Chandler sat down next to her.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
Monica attempting to sit up but ended up falling back down on her stomach. Chandler helped her by sitting behind her, grabbing her by the elbows, and pulled her into a sitting position in his lap. Monica made no attempt to sit on her own; she just leaned back on his shoulder.
"Nothing's wrong?"
"Nopers."
"You just get dirt drunk on your own for fun?"
"I'm not durunk."
Chandler stifled a laugh. "Sure you're not."
"Okay," she held up her thumb and pointer finger a few inches apart, "Mabe I'm a litrle durunk."
"You gonna tell me why?"
"I told you why."
Chandler nodded and just allowed her to close her eyes and rest for a few minutes. Then, he noticed a picture next to his leg. Carefully, he picked up the picture and looked at it. Monica opened her eyes, and, after noticing what Chandler was looking at, gave out a sharp cry and violently snatched the picture from his hands.
"What the hell are you doing?!"
"What? I—I was just looking—"
"Well DON'T!"
"I'm sorry. Why can't I look?"
"Because…"
"Yeah?"
"I'm gonna throw up."
Chandler handed her a trashcan, held her hair back and grimaced, as she vomited. When she seemed to be finished, Chandler left the room and brought her some water. After she drank some, she leaned back on him. He kissed her hair and leaned his chin on the top of her head. She then fell asleep against his chest.
That morning, Monica awoke and grimaced at her horrible hangover. She got up to use the bathroom and shower, leaving Chandler to sleep more. However, when she got out of the bathroom, Chandler was sitting in the living room, waiting for her.
"So, what was that picture?"
"It was nothing."
"It was a baby."
Monica shut her eyes tightly and tried to block it out.
"Who was that baby, Mon?"
She let out a small squeak, as she tried to hold in tears.
Chandler's voice was calm and even. "I won't tell anyone."
"I…I don't think I could trust you…"
"Mon, you need to talk about whatever is hurting you so much."
"I…"
He wrapped a hand around her waist, causing her to fall on top of him. "Please. Do this for yourself. You can trust me."
"You promise?"
"I swear."
"O—ok. But you can't tell anyone."
"I won't."
Monica nodded and took a deep breath. This was it. She was going to talk about what she hadn't talked about for so long.
"The baby in the picture is…err…was mine."
"What?"
"That was my baby boy," Monica recalled miserably, "David Steven."
Chandler wrapped his arms around her tightly and kissed her neck.
"See, we had the name all planned out," Monica said between sobs, "David was my husband's middle name and Steven was…was…his first." Monica broke into a fit of sobs. When she recovered, she looked into Chandler's caring eyes and saw that she could continue. He wouldn't judge her. "David was born with a lung defect. He—he only had an hour to live."
"Oh my god Mon, I'm so—"
"Don't say it."
Chandler nodded slowly and instead of talking, kissed her hair again.
"I held him once. Held my baby in my arms once. I talked to him once. He—he was so small. I still remember the way he felt in my arms. It was so perfect. He—he was mine. And then they took him from me. They took him so he could die. How could something so perfect be ruined?"
"I don't know, Mon."
"I guess I deserved it. For abandoning my friends and family."
"No," Chandler said firmly. "You didn't deserve that!"
Monica merely nodded in response.
"There's more to the story, isn't there?"
"The divorce."
"Yeah?"
"Well, after the baby died I was distraught. But Steven…I never saw him even shed a tear. And then, when I asked him why, he shrugged indifferently and said, 'How could I become attached to something that I only saw for twenty minutes?' After he said those words, I hated him so much. Everything changed. We fought constantly. Then, I did it. After only two months of the bickering…no counseling or anything…I told him I wanted a divorce. I gave up so easily."
Chandler turned to respond, but instead was mesmerized by her face. Tears rolled down her pale cheeks and he wiped them softly with his thumbs. Then, he looked into her eyes. He saw more than just hurt in them. What he saw in her eyes was so un-Monica that it shocked him to his very core. Defeat.
Ok, thanks for reading! Sorry that this chapter prolly sucked pretty badly. I have my reasons for it though. They're 3-fold! Chuck's looking over my shoulder…so you know what that means;). He's just waiting for his time to enter this story. Don't let him win!! Ha ok, last but not least, I'm gonna try to start a new a/n tradition for myself. It's called Becca's Ficly Nosepicker and I'm gonna ask a question that will make u guys think and I won't answer the question. You can answer it if you'd like in ur review, think about it urself, or just ignore it and think Bec's insane. Any of these things work.
Bec's Ficly Nosepicker: If a couple were to get divorced and then sleep together, is it still considered fornication? (hehe I came up with this one when I was talking to Jamie, although we were talking about nothing even remotely close to this topic;) Remember? Lol I'm gonna go shut up and yarmor now. Bye!!)