I'll never forget the look on dad's face when I told him about what
happened with Louisa. He looked so ashamed of me. He shook his head, and
told me to go on with my story. He looked concerned when I told him about
how I'd been feeling guilty ever since she left, and he looked at me with
disbelief when I told him about the fight with Matt.
I felt ashamed of myself already, but more so when dad told me how disappointed he was in me, and that he thought he'd brought me up better than that. I've been messing things up with everyone. I've hurt Louisa, Matt, and now dad, and I've got no idea about how to fix it. The tears that have been building up for the last month finally break through, and I can't stop them.
Dad put his arm around me. He said not to worry about hurting him: yes, he's disappointed, but I'm his son and he'll always love me. He said not to worry about Matt either, he'll get over it. From the sound of his voice, I could tell that dad intended to have a word with Matt about Louisa too.
What I have to concentrate on now is Louisa. Dad said if I didn't sort things out with her, it would bother me for the rest of my life. Also, he wants to know if he has a grandchild out there somewhere. I still don't know where to start though. It's been a long time, and I don't know if she'd speak to me if I got in contact with her. I have to try: I've got to find out about the baby, and I've got to tell her how sorry I am. The more I think about the way I treated, the more shocked I am at myself. Its like I can't believe that was me, I can't believe that I could have been so cruel and hurtful. But it was me, and now I have to figure out how to put things right.
At home, I was putting my stuff away, when I came across Enlightenment's album. I put it in the stereo to listen to while I was sorting my stuff out. I'd forgotten what a great voice Louisa had. I remembered the first time I heard her sing. It was just after she'd formed the group, although they didn't have a name back then. They'd all gathered in the back garden of the house where Louisa was renting a room. This was the fourth or fifth time they'd got together, but it sounded like they'd been together for ages. Louisa started playing the guitar, with Naomi on the keyboard. Then Louisa started to sing. I had been shocked. We'd been dating for a couple of months, and I never knew that she could sing like that.
I don't know when I fell asleep, but I was woken by the sound of someone knocking on the door. Enlightenment's CD was still playing, as I had put it on repeat. I couldn't believe it was morning already, I must have slept for at least 12 hours. My body was stiff and I felt uncomfortable from sleeping in my clothes in a chair. There was a knock on the door again, and I went to answer it. It was Matt.
I felt ashamed of myself already, but more so when dad told me how disappointed he was in me, and that he thought he'd brought me up better than that. I've been messing things up with everyone. I've hurt Louisa, Matt, and now dad, and I've got no idea about how to fix it. The tears that have been building up for the last month finally break through, and I can't stop them.
Dad put his arm around me. He said not to worry about hurting him: yes, he's disappointed, but I'm his son and he'll always love me. He said not to worry about Matt either, he'll get over it. From the sound of his voice, I could tell that dad intended to have a word with Matt about Louisa too.
What I have to concentrate on now is Louisa. Dad said if I didn't sort things out with her, it would bother me for the rest of my life. Also, he wants to know if he has a grandchild out there somewhere. I still don't know where to start though. It's been a long time, and I don't know if she'd speak to me if I got in contact with her. I have to try: I've got to find out about the baby, and I've got to tell her how sorry I am. The more I think about the way I treated, the more shocked I am at myself. Its like I can't believe that was me, I can't believe that I could have been so cruel and hurtful. But it was me, and now I have to figure out how to put things right.
At home, I was putting my stuff away, when I came across Enlightenment's album. I put it in the stereo to listen to while I was sorting my stuff out. I'd forgotten what a great voice Louisa had. I remembered the first time I heard her sing. It was just after she'd formed the group, although they didn't have a name back then. They'd all gathered in the back garden of the house where Louisa was renting a room. This was the fourth or fifth time they'd got together, but it sounded like they'd been together for ages. Louisa started playing the guitar, with Naomi on the keyboard. Then Louisa started to sing. I had been shocked. We'd been dating for a couple of months, and I never knew that she could sing like that.
I don't know when I fell asleep, but I was woken by the sound of someone knocking on the door. Enlightenment's CD was still playing, as I had put it on repeat. I couldn't believe it was morning already, I must have slept for at least 12 hours. My body was stiff and I felt uncomfortable from sleeping in my clothes in a chair. There was a knock on the door again, and I went to answer it. It was Matt.