Thanks to HardyzGurl1 and Shadow for the reviews. This is my first fic (as
you can probably tell) and if anyone wants to let me know I'm getting on,
I'd really appreciate the feedback.
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I'm not ready for this. I don't know what to do, what to say. I feel myself starting to panic, I can hear my heartbeat in my head. I feel like I can't breathe.
"Why now, Jeff?"
She sounds so calm, as if she was asking about the weather. I still can't speak, I don't know what to say. All of a sudden, I wish Matt was here to help me.
"Why now? Come on Jeff, it's been 4 years, why do you care now?"
"I...."
"You what?"
She doesn't sound calm anymore, and I can see the anger in her eyes. I look away, I can't bear to see her look at me like that.
" What's the matter, Jeff? Feel guilty about something?"
She's so different to how I remember her, so bitter and cold now. It's like the person I loved has gone. I want to get out of here, I need time to think about what to say to Louisa, but I don't have any time. It has to be now.
"I'm sorry."
She laughs. "You're sorry? Yes Jeff, you are. The sorriest thing I've ever seen."
"How have you been?"
Louisa looks at me in disbelief, and I curse myself for asking such a stupid question.
"Where did you go?"
"Why do you care? You told me to go, so I did. I'm not here to talk about the past, Jeff, I've done my best to forget you ever existed. I just want you to stay out of my life, not go around asking my friends questions about me."
She walks to the door to leave, so I go and grab her arm. I need to talk to her, but it seems she's had enough. The next thing I know her fist connects with my chin. I turn away in agony, my jaw hasn't healed fully from my fight with Matt.
I expect her to leave. Instead, she pulls my hands from my face.
"Let me see." All of a sudden, the old Louisa is here. She holds my face gently, examining the mark where she hit me.
"You need to put some ice on that. Sit down, I'll get some for you."
I sit on the sofa while she goes to get the ice. How the hell am I gonna fix this? There are so many things I need to say to her, but she doesn't want to know.
I hear her walk back in the room. "Hold still." She puts the ice on my chin.
"I'm sorry Jeff. I shouldn't have hit you. I... I have to go now."
"Wait! I need to talk to you, I need to find out.."
"There's nothing to talk about. Please stay out of my life." The old Louisa has gone again.
" But what about.... what about the baby?"
She turns around, and gives me a look of pure hate.
"HOW DARE YOU! What gives you the right to come back into my life after 4 years, and ask questions about my child? A child you didn't want! I've been through hell because of you, and now you just say 'I'm sorry, where's my baby?'! I can't believe you! Just when I get my life back on track, you show up and try to ruin it again!"
"I'm not trying to ruin your life! Please Louisa, I was wrong, and I've regretted it ever since. I'm so sorry for everything I said and did. I ruined my own life too, I lost you and the baby."
"Well, I'm sorry you feel you've ruined you life Jeff, but to come to me now, and expect everything to be ok? I've moved on, and you're not a part of my life anymore. All your "sorry" s and "I didn't mean it" s are all too late. You're too late."
She walks out the door, and down the corridor. I start to go after her, but someone pulls me back.
"You can try again with her soon. It was probably a shock for her to see you too."
I'm suddenly overwhelmed by everything that's happened, and fall to my knees crying, while my big brother holds me and tells me that it'll all be ok.
Matt was right with one thing: I will try again with her soon.
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I'm not ready for this. I don't know what to do, what to say. I feel myself starting to panic, I can hear my heartbeat in my head. I feel like I can't breathe.
"Why now, Jeff?"
She sounds so calm, as if she was asking about the weather. I still can't speak, I don't know what to say. All of a sudden, I wish Matt was here to help me.
"Why now? Come on Jeff, it's been 4 years, why do you care now?"
"I...."
"You what?"
She doesn't sound calm anymore, and I can see the anger in her eyes. I look away, I can't bear to see her look at me like that.
" What's the matter, Jeff? Feel guilty about something?"
She's so different to how I remember her, so bitter and cold now. It's like the person I loved has gone. I want to get out of here, I need time to think about what to say to Louisa, but I don't have any time. It has to be now.
"I'm sorry."
She laughs. "You're sorry? Yes Jeff, you are. The sorriest thing I've ever seen."
"How have you been?"
Louisa looks at me in disbelief, and I curse myself for asking such a stupid question.
"Where did you go?"
"Why do you care? You told me to go, so I did. I'm not here to talk about the past, Jeff, I've done my best to forget you ever existed. I just want you to stay out of my life, not go around asking my friends questions about me."
She walks to the door to leave, so I go and grab her arm. I need to talk to her, but it seems she's had enough. The next thing I know her fist connects with my chin. I turn away in agony, my jaw hasn't healed fully from my fight with Matt.
I expect her to leave. Instead, she pulls my hands from my face.
"Let me see." All of a sudden, the old Louisa is here. She holds my face gently, examining the mark where she hit me.
"You need to put some ice on that. Sit down, I'll get some for you."
I sit on the sofa while she goes to get the ice. How the hell am I gonna fix this? There are so many things I need to say to her, but she doesn't want to know.
I hear her walk back in the room. "Hold still." She puts the ice on my chin.
"I'm sorry Jeff. I shouldn't have hit you. I... I have to go now."
"Wait! I need to talk to you, I need to find out.."
"There's nothing to talk about. Please stay out of my life." The old Louisa has gone again.
" But what about.... what about the baby?"
She turns around, and gives me a look of pure hate.
"HOW DARE YOU! What gives you the right to come back into my life after 4 years, and ask questions about my child? A child you didn't want! I've been through hell because of you, and now you just say 'I'm sorry, where's my baby?'! I can't believe you! Just when I get my life back on track, you show up and try to ruin it again!"
"I'm not trying to ruin your life! Please Louisa, I was wrong, and I've regretted it ever since. I'm so sorry for everything I said and did. I ruined my own life too, I lost you and the baby."
"Well, I'm sorry you feel you've ruined you life Jeff, but to come to me now, and expect everything to be ok? I've moved on, and you're not a part of my life anymore. All your "sorry" s and "I didn't mean it" s are all too late. You're too late."
She walks out the door, and down the corridor. I start to go after her, but someone pulls me back.
"You can try again with her soon. It was probably a shock for her to see you too."
I'm suddenly overwhelmed by everything that's happened, and fall to my knees crying, while my big brother holds me and tells me that it'll all be ok.
Matt was right with one thing: I will try again with her soon.