A/N: mm-kay! I update! *pauses* say, do you guys really like this or are
you only reading it b/c you reviewed by accident in the first place and
feel inclined to read? I mean, not to insult anybody (other than myself -
what a wanna-be-pessimist!) but I do that every once in a while (thankfully
not in the past few months though) and I wanted to know. Yeah? Don't deny
it! *pauses again* FREE KITKATS TO ALL WHO TELL ME HOW MUCH THEY HATE
FINALS!!!!! *grins stupidly*
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Spirited Away.
Chapter Finished: 5/17/03
Third Person POV
Right After the Last Chapter
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She cried for who knows how long, only vaguely aware of the comforting embrace holding her or her settlement on the bed. When she finally calmed down, she sniffed a few times, then sighed.
"Chihiro?" asked a familiar voice. Chihiro looked up at whoever was holding her gently and it took her a moment.
"Haku! Haku, is that really you?"
"Yeah," he breathed, and Chihiro burst into tears once more, hugging him tightly.
"What are you doing here, Haku?" she asked after again she had calmed down a bit.
"I'll answer that after YOU tell ME what YOU'RE doing here," Haku replied softly. So, once more in tears, Chihiro related the whole story.
When she had finished she was water logged and exhausted. Haku rubbed her back gently, seemingly lost in thought. She had conveniently forgot to mention her not eating (though that was obvious anyway) and her lower arm.
"Why are you here?" she asked softly.
"I was given to the Lord Roku as a gift," he said, voice taking on an uncharacteristic snarl. "And Mr. Oh-so-intelligent thinks that I'm supposed to do whatever he tells me to do." He sighed. "Oh Chihiro, I'm so sorry he and the others did this to you."
"It's okay," Chihiro said, knowing full well that it was NOT okay.
Haku sighed, then shifted so that he was leaning against the wall and Chihiro's back was against him. He felt her ribs and stomach and shook his head.
"I take it you haven't been eating."
"Nasty stuff, that glop they call food."
"I agree - but you still need to eat."
Chihiro turned her head slightly. "I don't care. I don't want to. I just want to die, I've already told you that."
Haku didn't say anything in return. What could he say? She had lost everything she had to live for.
"Because if you die, then I will too," Haku said after a moment, burying his face in her hair. He sighed deeply. "and it wouldn't be because of some spell. Around Yubaba, everybody is pretty much protected, and Roku is no sorcerer."
Chihiro didn't say anything in return. Again, what could she say?
Haku ran his hands along her arms. He was well aware that one of them was wounded, he could tell by the way she held her shoulder and elbow, how she twitched whenever something brushed against the inside of one, how her hand was deeper in her sleeve. He knew very well what she had probably done, and decided might as well get the confrontation over with.
Quicker than Chihiro could figure out what he was doing, Haku moved both hands to her other arm and ripped her sleeve all the way up, exposing the raw flesh. She felt her heart stop for a moment, and breathed in and out slowly.
"These are self inflicted, "Haku whispered into her ear, making her squirm. She tried to scoot away and maybe escape this conversation (she didn't like where it was going) but Haku wound one arm around her chest and shifted again, holding her back to him firmly with his legs. She wasn't going to be able to escape period.
Chihiro froze as he gently ran a finger along her wrist and lower inner arm.
"what makes you think that they're self-inflicted?" she asked shakily.
"Oh, quite a few things, actually," came the reply, a breathy whisper in her ear. The hair on the back of her neck stood on end, and she tried to force herself to breathe normally.
"Don't die, understand? Whether you kill yourself or somebody else does, don't die. You can't leave me."
"And what if I'd rather die than live this... this... this hell, then, huh? Do you think I want to get married? Have a bunch of brats from rape when I'm only thirteen? Grow certain assets that I'm not supposed to get until I'm twenty after a plastic job?" that's what they looked like - some slutty plastic job. "Haku-chan, do you think that I WANT to live?"
"No," came the soft reply, and he rested his head on her shoulder. "I know that what you want more than anything is death, and you deserve it; the bleak nothingness of not thinking, being lost in a world of blackness and peace; that's what you deserve, I'll outright admit it. because death is the most seductive form of peace and happiness there is, and it pulls everything and everybody into it at some point. It's like climbing a mountain, Chihiro; You work harder and harder, and all you want is to give up and go back, to lay down and go to sleep, relax, like everybody should. But did you know what would happen if you just clenched your jaw and continued to climb that mountain? The satisfaction and happiness of making it, when nobody else could. Pulling out of the clutches of everything else, the pride you'd have would be immense. Then do you know what would happen? You would be forced to start climbing and even bigger, steeper mountain." He took a deep breath after drawing each word out slowly and carefully, so that she would understand fully. "Have you ever thought of trying to climb the rest of the way up this mountain?"
She didn't say anything for a moment. "I don't think the feelings I would have at the end would ever come close to stopping the pain this has caused, what it's going to cause. I'm not even halfway up, Haku."
"Ah, so you wish to give up so easily? So early? Would you at least accept help from somebody?"
"Who, do you think, could help me." Chihiro's voice became flat, and she stared fixedly at what she had caused the other night. "what do you suppose, Haku, would ever make me want to live so much that I would make it to the top of this stupid mountain."
He murmured a soft "hmm" as though thinking, and let go of her wrist, folding his legs back beneath him once more. "Living is your own will, Chihiro," he murmured against her cheek. "the opposite of Death is Life. The opposite of Hate is Love."
There was a moment of silence, and Chihiro closed her eyes as tears fell silently.
Haku wiped them away, then pressed his lips firmly yet gently to her cheek.
"Nobody can seriously help you," he said against her slightly damp skin. "Not unless you let them."
For a moment, Chihiro didn't say anything, then she turned her head and offered Haku the ghost of a smile. "Is that an invitation to help?" she asked softly, shakily. Haku smiled back in return, words not being needed for his answer.
They stayed like this for a moment, then both sighed simultaneously.
"I think maybe we should focus on the problem at hand," Chihiro mumbled. "I have no will whatsoever to become..." she went a lovely shade of red. "you know, yeah? But I haven't got anywhere to go. Mama and daddy, they're gone. Even should we escape successfully, what would I do then?"
"I know their deaths hurt, Chihiro-chan," he sighed back, holding her tightly, protectively.
"I don't believe that there'll be much choice in this matter at the moment. We're going to have to think of plans to escape, and everything beyond that."
"Say, Haku, how come you're here?"
Haku blinked. So did Chihiro. Neither of them had actually thought why they were together at the moment, but now...
But now they were BOTH a lovely shade of red! Nicely done, guys!
"Nevermind that," Haku said (in a much higher voice than usual). "not at the moment. We still have to figure out how to escape."
"Can't you at least?" Chihiro asked, all for changing the subject. She was twelve. Twelve! Marrying Haku... actually, that didn't seem like a very bad idea... but what had Roku said was supposed to be after that? My, what a nice work of art! Crimson from the neck up!
"No. that food I ate before, it has a pretty powerful spell on it. I'm stuck here. Couldn't leave if I tried."
"Why haven't they cast the same spell on me?" this latest announcement had put her down considerably.
"They have, quite a while ago. That's how they probably knew that you and Yuuko escaped before, and where you escaped to."
"......... Oh..."
There was a moment of silence, and Chihiro heaved a heavy sigh. "I vote we leave it for tomorrow. I can't think, I'm too tired."
"Okay." Haku said, instantly concerned.
As if they had been listening the whole time, there was a knock at the door.
"Miai Hime? Eishuro?" it was Miyako. Both Haku and Chihiro grimaced at the use of their names.
Haku nudged Chihiro away, and went over to the door. He laid his hand on the doorknob, then whispered, "Are you going to let us out?"
"What was that?"
Haku lowered his voice even more and repeated the question. The was a muffled curse, and the door handle jiggled slightly. Immediately, Haku jerked it open, and Miyako, along with every other servant there, fell in at the unexpected-ness of what they were leaning up against being removed.
Miyako jumped up. Haku and Chihiro stared - no, glared - at her bemusedly. As though she wasn't worth their time.
"I'd like to go to bed." Haku said firmly, and stepped out over the servant girls, accidentally stepping on a few heads and hands.
Chihiro didn't say anything but jerk her sleeve down and march out after him.
A moment later, they were both led to The Remote Hall, and put in their rooms; Chihiro's was the one that she had been staying in for the past few months, and Haku's was just across from hers, probably looking the same but blue in color. Chihiro smiled a little at that, settled on her bed.
Of course she ended up falling asleep, hopes of a plan being formed keeping her aloft.
Being aloft, though, can't stop one from waking up in the middle of the night and crawling under the bed, where it was more comfortable.
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The next morning, Our Heroes didn't meet exactly the way they had planned. In fact, early after Miyako and two other servant girls had gotten her dressed (no corset, she didn't need one - and she kept her arm well hidden) standing outside Haku's room, coming dangerously close to giggling as she heard the muffled shouts coming from inside. Something about Haku not wanting to wear "that THING" and the servant boys (three of them) and that one Royal Advisor, Ukon or Niou arguing back.
At last, Miyako dragged her off to breakfast, and everybody practically jumped with joy when she ate a small bite of toast and Haku came in grumpily, dropping into the seat next to her. Her was wearing something akin to robes, something a prince would wear. Chihiro wondered what he would look like in a tunic and leggings... then she mentally slapped herself.
Then she decided the picture her mind conjured up wasn't that bad...
Then she literally slapped herself, earning silence and stares from everyone.
She decided not to think about anything after that.
However, thoughts came. As she stared down at the yellow mush in front of her (suddenly rather very sick and not in the least bit hungry) she decided that it looked just like the scrambled eggs Yuuko used to make. Akio had often remarked that they were the fluffiest, most delicious looking eggs ever. Chihiro had never looked at them, only ate them so she claimed they tasted better then the store-bought kind. Which had been the best compliment anybody could have gotten from her while mouth was stuffed with yummy white egg.
Chihiro loved her mother and father... she missed them so much... she gripped her lower arm, squeezing it until the blood circulation was long since cut off.
Tears pricked her eyes, and fell. She released her arm, which began to tingle, reaching up and wiping her eyes hard. 'don't cry, don't be weak in front of Roku and Miyako and the other bakas,' she told herself. Her mental voice was breaking, too. She was already destroyed mentally.
She bit her lip, both arms up now with her cloth napkin against her face, for once (and only this once) glad that her Miyako-styled-hair was hiding her face, which was probably already red and blotchy by now.
She tried not to shake with silent sobs, stuffing a fist into her mouth to stop the muffled sounds that escaped her throat from being heard. The sparkly blue stuff on her eyelids was smeared by now, probably. She was well aware that the (literally) red paint, on her lips, was smeared and gone.
She searched for a way to make a quick exit.
Meanwhile, during all of this, Haku was finding out (in a rather un-Haku- like-gleeful fashion) that if he glared into anybody's eyes for a moment, they went red and looked away. currently, he was working on the moron next to Roku (Niou, was it? the guy that had literally strapped him into the clothes) when he felt a slight push against his mind, felt a slight shake next to him, heard the slight ruffling of clothes, heard the slightly muffled sound of choked sobs and tears. He abandoned Niou and felt a flash of guilt. He had completely forgotten about Chihiro.
He looked to her and saw that it was obvious she was crying, and trying hard not to show it.
Without thinking, he stood up silently and purposefully nudged Chihiro as he passed, leaving the room.
He couldn't suppress a few remarks, though, things he usually kept to himself when thinking ill of people.
Chihiro took the hint, and immediately scrambled after him, out into the hall. A moment of silence passed before it sounded like complete chaos took place in the dining room, and after a while Roku and Miyako detached from the room to watch Chihiro and Haku, find out where they had gone, what they were doing, etc., etcetera.
Haku was wiping the tears off Chihiro's cheeks and eyes, giving her strength without having to say anything. Her back was to the two Royal Advisors.
"What are you doing?" Roku demanded.
"Fixing the Princess' face," came the smooth reply as He quickly coated his finger tips (and the rest of Chihiro's skin) with the face paint that was smeared everywhere anyway. He turned her around, showing his finger tips on purpose. "See? She looks like a Queen already."
Miyako shrieked.
Perhaps three or four hours later, Chihiro was back to her dancing lessons. Haku was off learning something else.
Of course, Our Hero had conveniently forgotten all of the past dance steps, and was UNCANNILY being unable to try these, let alone learn new ones, or even listen for that matter. She was shifting from foot to foot, gazing at her dress hem, that sudden urge to strangle Roku slowly and painfully back.
She knew how she would kill him. How she dreamed to kill him.
He would be on the ground in pain, and she would stand over him in a pair of jeans and a ripped up dirty old rag of a tank top. He would look up angrily and fearfully at her as she clasped her hands around his throat and laughed into his face as her nails brought forth drops of blood, slowly and painfully crushing his windpipe. He would cry out, and beg Miai Hime to stop, but she would tell him she had murdered Miai Hime just like she was going to murder him and he murdered her parents and Yuki and those police...
"MIAI HIME!" Cried the voice of the old fat woman dance instructor, her shriek jerking Chihiro out of her sinful dreams. She realized her hands were in a rather violent gesture in midair, and she finished it, picturing all of their faces there... she dropped her arms, though, when the tutor fainted (with an earth-shaking whumpf) and a shrill scream.
Thoughts of escape came to mind oh-too-late as Miyako, a couple of servant girls, Roku, and Haku entered. Haku looked slightly ruffled.
"What happened here, Miai Hime?" Roku demanded while Miyako and the two servant girls leaned over the tutor and fanned her weakly with their hands.
Chihiro decided that she would share her fantasies with Roku later.
"She was showing me how to do a pirouette in midair without stepping on the partner's foot or falling down either thirty times in a row. The heat and exhaustion must have made her pass out." Then, voice dripping with sarcasm she added, "it was ever-so-dreadful, Lord Roku, and I'm ever-so-grateful that you and my knight-in-shining-armor came to rescue me before I suffered a similar fate."
Roku didn't seem to find her excuse very funny.
Haku did, and smiled secretly a little bit, however more inwardly interested in thinking about Chihiro's referring to him as her knight in shining armor.
"Miai Hime, when will you learn that the sooner you cooperate the sooner you'll be set free?" Roku's voice took on a cold, coaxing tone. "Get married, have an heir, and you can go. Is that too much to ask? The Prince seems to be very excited about ruling, marrying, and having an heir." Roku looked at Haku, who made a not-so-modest attempt to show that he didn't enjoy being called a prince, ruling, marrying, or having a child. His expression made all of these plain - everybody looked back to Roku, quirking amused eyebrows. Roku scowled. "The same goes for you," he said. "Back to lessons. Lady Miyako, find a couple of new dance instructors for Miai Hime." He paused and thought that over. "never mind, no," he decided at last. "they'll both have to learn anyway, and learning with a partner is best." He sent a chilling look to both Chihiro and Haku. They sent their own chilling looks right back.
"Just why do *I* have to Learn how to dance when I'm not going to learn anyway, and I'm not going to ever dance? What a baka's idea THAT was!" Chihiro snapped.
"You will both be dancing at the wedding ceremonies, your coronations, when it is found you are with child, when it is found what sex the baby will be, the "baby shower" as you humans put it, when the baby is born, at the baby's coronation, and the night before you depart." He smile grew wicked. "IF you depart."
There was a long moment of silence.
"And, uh, you think that we'll be good little boys and girls during all of that?" Haku asked, raising a sharp eyebrow.
"You will be, I've been planning all of those for months." His face twisted now into a sneer. "Plenty of sorcerers and sorceresses there to keep you in check."
"Oh, so now you're FORCING us to get married! Twice! Well, NOW, isn't that a funny proclamation!" Chihiro said, wondering if she sounded hysterical or not.
"You're sharp, hearing the plural in "wedding ceremony"," Miyako said. "There'll be three, actually. The first is something like a private ceremony, really. The second is a witness ceremony, where all of the Royal Advisors and sorcerers and sorceresses watch. Then the last is the public ceremony, and will be held on an enormous island that I'm sure you'll love, and every single spirit will be invited and every single spirit will be there." She smirked, now, as well.
Another moment of silence passed.
"Three questions to go with the three ceremonies, then," Chihiro said irritably. "First, what do you plan to do with me for the next three months? Two, say Haku decides to rule - because I'm not - and he has an uncanny urge to destroy everything? And three, what makes you so certain that if I get married, which I won't, I'll get pregnant? I mean, sick. Eew. Gross out." She crossed her arms in an un-princess-like fashion, knowing full well it would piss them all off.
"I'd also like to point out a few mistakes in your points," Haku piped up. "The first is this: the first two wedding ceremonies won't require dancing, since they're only witnessings. What makes you think Chihiro or I will be dancing period? The finding with child, finding child's sex, and the "Baby shower" as you put it are all basically the same thing that'll happen at the same time if they happen at all, which they won't, and that ""ceremony"" is a small, kind of private one. What makes you think that we - that *I* will be departing at night? When I do, I swear to you that I won't stick around for some baby's crowning. There won't BE a baby (or wedding ) to start out with," he added the last part almost weakly, as though assuring himself.
"Questions, questions," Roku sighed, tapping one foot patiently. Both Haku and Chihiro were taken aback by this. "I'll answer what I can, Prince and Princess, if it will make you happy."
He paused, as though thinking. His smirk showed that he was only letting them stew.
"Miai Hime, you will either be staying with Haku or locked in your room the first two months. The third both you and your "prince charming" will be learning to dance together and the wedding ceremonies together. Lord Haku has already made it clear that he does not want to rule - but should that happen, with either of you, a light threat on the baby's life would fix that right up as well as your inner senses of duty. Both you and Miai Hime will be dancing, I assure you." his voice grew even colder as he seemed to be addressing Haku though he spoke to both of them. "You are right about my over-emphasizing the dancing points. And the "baby shower" as we seem to have decided to call it, will NOT be the least bit private. You will BOTH be around for your child's coronation. You will get married. As for both of you inquiring how I plan to make certain that there is An Heir, my, my, my, there are threats, spells, a many assortment of lovely things. Of course you'll be locked in the same bed, room, together, and even if we must wait three hundred years, there will be an heir. Besides, the life of a child is loved by all, especially Humans and Fathers and Mothers. You will both stay, if not by your own free will then for your son."
He seemed satisfied. "So, Miai Hime, now that we have all of that cleared up, make your choice for the rest of the day: go to your room and have lunch and dinner and breakfast delivered to you there until you are ready to come out, or accompany your-soon-to-be husband and King in his own lessons?" he thought a moment. "Should you choose the latter, you will be stuck with the first choice should you interfere with his learnings."
Chihiro scowled darkly.
She hated how she found herself semi-interested in watching Haku and a sword-master thirty minutes later. He was supposed to be learning sword play, but didn't seem to be interested in doing either: learning and swordplay. This surprised the sword-master, because EVERY boy spirit wanted to be a sword-master! He was very stressed out, stressed to the breaking point when Haku asked for the third time how to grip the handle with two hands and always ended up by gripping it with his left hand at the pommel.
She barely stopped a smile when the sword master actually DID get stressed to the breaking point and sent the blade down with a chilling scream.
He seemed to be shocked into silence, choking on his own voice, when his student and soon-to-be King brought up his blade sideways, in EVERY SINGLE BAD FORM there was, twisting it to the side so that the said master's weapon went skittering across the ground and buried itself in the wall.
"Nice soprano line," Haku remarked, remaining blissfully oblivious to how his bad-formed defense had put the sword-master into tears.
Chihiro did give a little smile, though, after (an uneaten) lunch, watching a tutor drawl on and on about the history of Kamikakushi pacing in front of him, and Haku was caught in a very rare undefended state, head falling to his chest then snapping back up.
Since she was sitting across from him, and already knew all of this crap, she kicked him whenever it looked like he was not going to snap his head back up again.
The first time she did this he cocked an eyebrow at her, throwing his head to the side only slightly.
She smiled sweetly.
Half an hour later, both were getting reprimanded by Roku for not only tearing each other's booties, lower legs, and the bottoms of their clothes up, but for managing to break the table leg and two other chairs.
The next day, Chihiro found herself restlessly pacing her room after flinging her "breakfast" out the window, which was cracked and locked in a half open position, to give her some air but to keep her from escaping. Nothing in her room could/would brake the glass, and Miyako had locked her closet.
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A/N: okay, ya, so sue me. yup, they ARE getting married, I'm, heh, I'm telling you that right now. Two months are going to pass, and I'm only going to show snippets of what the wedding ceremony/nies are supposed to be like, b/c A) I think that I've already informed you that both Haku and Chihiro aren't interested in dancing, B) they obviously aren't going to pay any attention to what they're supposed to say while standing in front of a crudely made altar, and C) figure this out: if their movements and mouths are going to be controlled by a bunch of magical weirdos, then why should they know all of that crap? They won't have a say in it anyway.
B'sides, they don't want to get married. I mean, they DO that's obviously logical, but under these circumstances...
'nyway.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Spirited Away.
Chapter Finished: 5/17/03
Third Person POV
Right After the Last Chapter
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She cried for who knows how long, only vaguely aware of the comforting embrace holding her or her settlement on the bed. When she finally calmed down, she sniffed a few times, then sighed.
"Chihiro?" asked a familiar voice. Chihiro looked up at whoever was holding her gently and it took her a moment.
"Haku! Haku, is that really you?"
"Yeah," he breathed, and Chihiro burst into tears once more, hugging him tightly.
"What are you doing here, Haku?" she asked after again she had calmed down a bit.
"I'll answer that after YOU tell ME what YOU'RE doing here," Haku replied softly. So, once more in tears, Chihiro related the whole story.
When she had finished she was water logged and exhausted. Haku rubbed her back gently, seemingly lost in thought. She had conveniently forgot to mention her not eating (though that was obvious anyway) and her lower arm.
"Why are you here?" she asked softly.
"I was given to the Lord Roku as a gift," he said, voice taking on an uncharacteristic snarl. "And Mr. Oh-so-intelligent thinks that I'm supposed to do whatever he tells me to do." He sighed. "Oh Chihiro, I'm so sorry he and the others did this to you."
"It's okay," Chihiro said, knowing full well that it was NOT okay.
Haku sighed, then shifted so that he was leaning against the wall and Chihiro's back was against him. He felt her ribs and stomach and shook his head.
"I take it you haven't been eating."
"Nasty stuff, that glop they call food."
"I agree - but you still need to eat."
Chihiro turned her head slightly. "I don't care. I don't want to. I just want to die, I've already told you that."
Haku didn't say anything in return. What could he say? She had lost everything she had to live for.
"Because if you die, then I will too," Haku said after a moment, burying his face in her hair. He sighed deeply. "and it wouldn't be because of some spell. Around Yubaba, everybody is pretty much protected, and Roku is no sorcerer."
Chihiro didn't say anything in return. Again, what could she say?
Haku ran his hands along her arms. He was well aware that one of them was wounded, he could tell by the way she held her shoulder and elbow, how she twitched whenever something brushed against the inside of one, how her hand was deeper in her sleeve. He knew very well what she had probably done, and decided might as well get the confrontation over with.
Quicker than Chihiro could figure out what he was doing, Haku moved both hands to her other arm and ripped her sleeve all the way up, exposing the raw flesh. She felt her heart stop for a moment, and breathed in and out slowly.
"These are self inflicted, "Haku whispered into her ear, making her squirm. She tried to scoot away and maybe escape this conversation (she didn't like where it was going) but Haku wound one arm around her chest and shifted again, holding her back to him firmly with his legs. She wasn't going to be able to escape period.
Chihiro froze as he gently ran a finger along her wrist and lower inner arm.
"what makes you think that they're self-inflicted?" she asked shakily.
"Oh, quite a few things, actually," came the reply, a breathy whisper in her ear. The hair on the back of her neck stood on end, and she tried to force herself to breathe normally.
"Don't die, understand? Whether you kill yourself or somebody else does, don't die. You can't leave me."
"And what if I'd rather die than live this... this... this hell, then, huh? Do you think I want to get married? Have a bunch of brats from rape when I'm only thirteen? Grow certain assets that I'm not supposed to get until I'm twenty after a plastic job?" that's what they looked like - some slutty plastic job. "Haku-chan, do you think that I WANT to live?"
"No," came the soft reply, and he rested his head on her shoulder. "I know that what you want more than anything is death, and you deserve it; the bleak nothingness of not thinking, being lost in a world of blackness and peace; that's what you deserve, I'll outright admit it. because death is the most seductive form of peace and happiness there is, and it pulls everything and everybody into it at some point. It's like climbing a mountain, Chihiro; You work harder and harder, and all you want is to give up and go back, to lay down and go to sleep, relax, like everybody should. But did you know what would happen if you just clenched your jaw and continued to climb that mountain? The satisfaction and happiness of making it, when nobody else could. Pulling out of the clutches of everything else, the pride you'd have would be immense. Then do you know what would happen? You would be forced to start climbing and even bigger, steeper mountain." He took a deep breath after drawing each word out slowly and carefully, so that she would understand fully. "Have you ever thought of trying to climb the rest of the way up this mountain?"
She didn't say anything for a moment. "I don't think the feelings I would have at the end would ever come close to stopping the pain this has caused, what it's going to cause. I'm not even halfway up, Haku."
"Ah, so you wish to give up so easily? So early? Would you at least accept help from somebody?"
"Who, do you think, could help me." Chihiro's voice became flat, and she stared fixedly at what she had caused the other night. "what do you suppose, Haku, would ever make me want to live so much that I would make it to the top of this stupid mountain."
He murmured a soft "hmm" as though thinking, and let go of her wrist, folding his legs back beneath him once more. "Living is your own will, Chihiro," he murmured against her cheek. "the opposite of Death is Life. The opposite of Hate is Love."
There was a moment of silence, and Chihiro closed her eyes as tears fell silently.
Haku wiped them away, then pressed his lips firmly yet gently to her cheek.
"Nobody can seriously help you," he said against her slightly damp skin. "Not unless you let them."
For a moment, Chihiro didn't say anything, then she turned her head and offered Haku the ghost of a smile. "Is that an invitation to help?" she asked softly, shakily. Haku smiled back in return, words not being needed for his answer.
They stayed like this for a moment, then both sighed simultaneously.
"I think maybe we should focus on the problem at hand," Chihiro mumbled. "I have no will whatsoever to become..." she went a lovely shade of red. "you know, yeah? But I haven't got anywhere to go. Mama and daddy, they're gone. Even should we escape successfully, what would I do then?"
"I know their deaths hurt, Chihiro-chan," he sighed back, holding her tightly, protectively.
"I don't believe that there'll be much choice in this matter at the moment. We're going to have to think of plans to escape, and everything beyond that."
"Say, Haku, how come you're here?"
Haku blinked. So did Chihiro. Neither of them had actually thought why they were together at the moment, but now...
But now they were BOTH a lovely shade of red! Nicely done, guys!
"Nevermind that," Haku said (in a much higher voice than usual). "not at the moment. We still have to figure out how to escape."
"Can't you at least?" Chihiro asked, all for changing the subject. She was twelve. Twelve! Marrying Haku... actually, that didn't seem like a very bad idea... but what had Roku said was supposed to be after that? My, what a nice work of art! Crimson from the neck up!
"No. that food I ate before, it has a pretty powerful spell on it. I'm stuck here. Couldn't leave if I tried."
"Why haven't they cast the same spell on me?" this latest announcement had put her down considerably.
"They have, quite a while ago. That's how they probably knew that you and Yuuko escaped before, and where you escaped to."
"......... Oh..."
There was a moment of silence, and Chihiro heaved a heavy sigh. "I vote we leave it for tomorrow. I can't think, I'm too tired."
"Okay." Haku said, instantly concerned.
As if they had been listening the whole time, there was a knock at the door.
"Miai Hime? Eishuro?" it was Miyako. Both Haku and Chihiro grimaced at the use of their names.
Haku nudged Chihiro away, and went over to the door. He laid his hand on the doorknob, then whispered, "Are you going to let us out?"
"What was that?"
Haku lowered his voice even more and repeated the question. The was a muffled curse, and the door handle jiggled slightly. Immediately, Haku jerked it open, and Miyako, along with every other servant there, fell in at the unexpected-ness of what they were leaning up against being removed.
Miyako jumped up. Haku and Chihiro stared - no, glared - at her bemusedly. As though she wasn't worth their time.
"I'd like to go to bed." Haku said firmly, and stepped out over the servant girls, accidentally stepping on a few heads and hands.
Chihiro didn't say anything but jerk her sleeve down and march out after him.
A moment later, they were both led to The Remote Hall, and put in their rooms; Chihiro's was the one that she had been staying in for the past few months, and Haku's was just across from hers, probably looking the same but blue in color. Chihiro smiled a little at that, settled on her bed.
Of course she ended up falling asleep, hopes of a plan being formed keeping her aloft.
Being aloft, though, can't stop one from waking up in the middle of the night and crawling under the bed, where it was more comfortable.
.
The next morning, Our Heroes didn't meet exactly the way they had planned. In fact, early after Miyako and two other servant girls had gotten her dressed (no corset, she didn't need one - and she kept her arm well hidden) standing outside Haku's room, coming dangerously close to giggling as she heard the muffled shouts coming from inside. Something about Haku not wanting to wear "that THING" and the servant boys (three of them) and that one Royal Advisor, Ukon or Niou arguing back.
At last, Miyako dragged her off to breakfast, and everybody practically jumped with joy when she ate a small bite of toast and Haku came in grumpily, dropping into the seat next to her. Her was wearing something akin to robes, something a prince would wear. Chihiro wondered what he would look like in a tunic and leggings... then she mentally slapped herself.
Then she decided the picture her mind conjured up wasn't that bad...
Then she literally slapped herself, earning silence and stares from everyone.
She decided not to think about anything after that.
However, thoughts came. As she stared down at the yellow mush in front of her (suddenly rather very sick and not in the least bit hungry) she decided that it looked just like the scrambled eggs Yuuko used to make. Akio had often remarked that they were the fluffiest, most delicious looking eggs ever. Chihiro had never looked at them, only ate them so she claimed they tasted better then the store-bought kind. Which had been the best compliment anybody could have gotten from her while mouth was stuffed with yummy white egg.
Chihiro loved her mother and father... she missed them so much... she gripped her lower arm, squeezing it until the blood circulation was long since cut off.
Tears pricked her eyes, and fell. She released her arm, which began to tingle, reaching up and wiping her eyes hard. 'don't cry, don't be weak in front of Roku and Miyako and the other bakas,' she told herself. Her mental voice was breaking, too. She was already destroyed mentally.
She bit her lip, both arms up now with her cloth napkin against her face, for once (and only this once) glad that her Miyako-styled-hair was hiding her face, which was probably already red and blotchy by now.
She tried not to shake with silent sobs, stuffing a fist into her mouth to stop the muffled sounds that escaped her throat from being heard. The sparkly blue stuff on her eyelids was smeared by now, probably. She was well aware that the (literally) red paint, on her lips, was smeared and gone.
She searched for a way to make a quick exit.
Meanwhile, during all of this, Haku was finding out (in a rather un-Haku- like-gleeful fashion) that if he glared into anybody's eyes for a moment, they went red and looked away. currently, he was working on the moron next to Roku (Niou, was it? the guy that had literally strapped him into the clothes) when he felt a slight push against his mind, felt a slight shake next to him, heard the slight ruffling of clothes, heard the slightly muffled sound of choked sobs and tears. He abandoned Niou and felt a flash of guilt. He had completely forgotten about Chihiro.
He looked to her and saw that it was obvious she was crying, and trying hard not to show it.
Without thinking, he stood up silently and purposefully nudged Chihiro as he passed, leaving the room.
He couldn't suppress a few remarks, though, things he usually kept to himself when thinking ill of people.
Chihiro took the hint, and immediately scrambled after him, out into the hall. A moment of silence passed before it sounded like complete chaos took place in the dining room, and after a while Roku and Miyako detached from the room to watch Chihiro and Haku, find out where they had gone, what they were doing, etc., etcetera.
Haku was wiping the tears off Chihiro's cheeks and eyes, giving her strength without having to say anything. Her back was to the two Royal Advisors.
"What are you doing?" Roku demanded.
"Fixing the Princess' face," came the smooth reply as He quickly coated his finger tips (and the rest of Chihiro's skin) with the face paint that was smeared everywhere anyway. He turned her around, showing his finger tips on purpose. "See? She looks like a Queen already."
Miyako shrieked.
Perhaps three or four hours later, Chihiro was back to her dancing lessons. Haku was off learning something else.
Of course, Our Hero had conveniently forgotten all of the past dance steps, and was UNCANNILY being unable to try these, let alone learn new ones, or even listen for that matter. She was shifting from foot to foot, gazing at her dress hem, that sudden urge to strangle Roku slowly and painfully back.
She knew how she would kill him. How she dreamed to kill him.
He would be on the ground in pain, and she would stand over him in a pair of jeans and a ripped up dirty old rag of a tank top. He would look up angrily and fearfully at her as she clasped her hands around his throat and laughed into his face as her nails brought forth drops of blood, slowly and painfully crushing his windpipe. He would cry out, and beg Miai Hime to stop, but she would tell him she had murdered Miai Hime just like she was going to murder him and he murdered her parents and Yuki and those police...
"MIAI HIME!" Cried the voice of the old fat woman dance instructor, her shriek jerking Chihiro out of her sinful dreams. She realized her hands were in a rather violent gesture in midair, and she finished it, picturing all of their faces there... she dropped her arms, though, when the tutor fainted (with an earth-shaking whumpf) and a shrill scream.
Thoughts of escape came to mind oh-too-late as Miyako, a couple of servant girls, Roku, and Haku entered. Haku looked slightly ruffled.
"What happened here, Miai Hime?" Roku demanded while Miyako and the two servant girls leaned over the tutor and fanned her weakly with their hands.
Chihiro decided that she would share her fantasies with Roku later.
"She was showing me how to do a pirouette in midair without stepping on the partner's foot or falling down either thirty times in a row. The heat and exhaustion must have made her pass out." Then, voice dripping with sarcasm she added, "it was ever-so-dreadful, Lord Roku, and I'm ever-so-grateful that you and my knight-in-shining-armor came to rescue me before I suffered a similar fate."
Roku didn't seem to find her excuse very funny.
Haku did, and smiled secretly a little bit, however more inwardly interested in thinking about Chihiro's referring to him as her knight in shining armor.
"Miai Hime, when will you learn that the sooner you cooperate the sooner you'll be set free?" Roku's voice took on a cold, coaxing tone. "Get married, have an heir, and you can go. Is that too much to ask? The Prince seems to be very excited about ruling, marrying, and having an heir." Roku looked at Haku, who made a not-so-modest attempt to show that he didn't enjoy being called a prince, ruling, marrying, or having a child. His expression made all of these plain - everybody looked back to Roku, quirking amused eyebrows. Roku scowled. "The same goes for you," he said. "Back to lessons. Lady Miyako, find a couple of new dance instructors for Miai Hime." He paused and thought that over. "never mind, no," he decided at last. "they'll both have to learn anyway, and learning with a partner is best." He sent a chilling look to both Chihiro and Haku. They sent their own chilling looks right back.
"Just why do *I* have to Learn how to dance when I'm not going to learn anyway, and I'm not going to ever dance? What a baka's idea THAT was!" Chihiro snapped.
"You will both be dancing at the wedding ceremonies, your coronations, when it is found you are with child, when it is found what sex the baby will be, the "baby shower" as you humans put it, when the baby is born, at the baby's coronation, and the night before you depart." He smile grew wicked. "IF you depart."
There was a long moment of silence.
"And, uh, you think that we'll be good little boys and girls during all of that?" Haku asked, raising a sharp eyebrow.
"You will be, I've been planning all of those for months." His face twisted now into a sneer. "Plenty of sorcerers and sorceresses there to keep you in check."
"Oh, so now you're FORCING us to get married! Twice! Well, NOW, isn't that a funny proclamation!" Chihiro said, wondering if she sounded hysterical or not.
"You're sharp, hearing the plural in "wedding ceremony"," Miyako said. "There'll be three, actually. The first is something like a private ceremony, really. The second is a witness ceremony, where all of the Royal Advisors and sorcerers and sorceresses watch. Then the last is the public ceremony, and will be held on an enormous island that I'm sure you'll love, and every single spirit will be invited and every single spirit will be there." She smirked, now, as well.
Another moment of silence passed.
"Three questions to go with the three ceremonies, then," Chihiro said irritably. "First, what do you plan to do with me for the next three months? Two, say Haku decides to rule - because I'm not - and he has an uncanny urge to destroy everything? And three, what makes you so certain that if I get married, which I won't, I'll get pregnant? I mean, sick. Eew. Gross out." She crossed her arms in an un-princess-like fashion, knowing full well it would piss them all off.
"I'd also like to point out a few mistakes in your points," Haku piped up. "The first is this: the first two wedding ceremonies won't require dancing, since they're only witnessings. What makes you think Chihiro or I will be dancing period? The finding with child, finding child's sex, and the "Baby shower" as you put it are all basically the same thing that'll happen at the same time if they happen at all, which they won't, and that ""ceremony"" is a small, kind of private one. What makes you think that we - that *I* will be departing at night? When I do, I swear to you that I won't stick around for some baby's crowning. There won't BE a baby (or wedding ) to start out with," he added the last part almost weakly, as though assuring himself.
"Questions, questions," Roku sighed, tapping one foot patiently. Both Haku and Chihiro were taken aback by this. "I'll answer what I can, Prince and Princess, if it will make you happy."
He paused, as though thinking. His smirk showed that he was only letting them stew.
"Miai Hime, you will either be staying with Haku or locked in your room the first two months. The third both you and your "prince charming" will be learning to dance together and the wedding ceremonies together. Lord Haku has already made it clear that he does not want to rule - but should that happen, with either of you, a light threat on the baby's life would fix that right up as well as your inner senses of duty. Both you and Miai Hime will be dancing, I assure you." his voice grew even colder as he seemed to be addressing Haku though he spoke to both of them. "You are right about my over-emphasizing the dancing points. And the "baby shower" as we seem to have decided to call it, will NOT be the least bit private. You will BOTH be around for your child's coronation. You will get married. As for both of you inquiring how I plan to make certain that there is An Heir, my, my, my, there are threats, spells, a many assortment of lovely things. Of course you'll be locked in the same bed, room, together, and even if we must wait three hundred years, there will be an heir. Besides, the life of a child is loved by all, especially Humans and Fathers and Mothers. You will both stay, if not by your own free will then for your son."
He seemed satisfied. "So, Miai Hime, now that we have all of that cleared up, make your choice for the rest of the day: go to your room and have lunch and dinner and breakfast delivered to you there until you are ready to come out, or accompany your-soon-to-be husband and King in his own lessons?" he thought a moment. "Should you choose the latter, you will be stuck with the first choice should you interfere with his learnings."
Chihiro scowled darkly.
She hated how she found herself semi-interested in watching Haku and a sword-master thirty minutes later. He was supposed to be learning sword play, but didn't seem to be interested in doing either: learning and swordplay. This surprised the sword-master, because EVERY boy spirit wanted to be a sword-master! He was very stressed out, stressed to the breaking point when Haku asked for the third time how to grip the handle with two hands and always ended up by gripping it with his left hand at the pommel.
She barely stopped a smile when the sword master actually DID get stressed to the breaking point and sent the blade down with a chilling scream.
He seemed to be shocked into silence, choking on his own voice, when his student and soon-to-be King brought up his blade sideways, in EVERY SINGLE BAD FORM there was, twisting it to the side so that the said master's weapon went skittering across the ground and buried itself in the wall.
"Nice soprano line," Haku remarked, remaining blissfully oblivious to how his bad-formed defense had put the sword-master into tears.
Chihiro did give a little smile, though, after (an uneaten) lunch, watching a tutor drawl on and on about the history of Kamikakushi pacing in front of him, and Haku was caught in a very rare undefended state, head falling to his chest then snapping back up.
Since she was sitting across from him, and already knew all of this crap, she kicked him whenever it looked like he was not going to snap his head back up again.
The first time she did this he cocked an eyebrow at her, throwing his head to the side only slightly.
She smiled sweetly.
Half an hour later, both were getting reprimanded by Roku for not only tearing each other's booties, lower legs, and the bottoms of their clothes up, but for managing to break the table leg and two other chairs.
The next day, Chihiro found herself restlessly pacing her room after flinging her "breakfast" out the window, which was cracked and locked in a half open position, to give her some air but to keep her from escaping. Nothing in her room could/would brake the glass, and Miyako had locked her closet.
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A/N: okay, ya, so sue me. yup, they ARE getting married, I'm, heh, I'm telling you that right now. Two months are going to pass, and I'm only going to show snippets of what the wedding ceremony/nies are supposed to be like, b/c A) I think that I've already informed you that both Haku and Chihiro aren't interested in dancing, B) they obviously aren't going to pay any attention to what they're supposed to say while standing in front of a crudely made altar, and C) figure this out: if their movements and mouths are going to be controlled by a bunch of magical weirdos, then why should they know all of that crap? They won't have a say in it anyway.
B'sides, they don't want to get married. I mean, they DO that's obviously logical, but under these circumstances...
'nyway.