Chapter Three Four Simple Words
Sybill rolled over, felt beside her in the bed, and was disappointed to find it empty. "Maybe it was a dream," she thought as she opened her eyes and strained to see. There was no one sleeping next to her, but there was a single red rose and a piece of parchment, which she picked up. She reached across for her glasses and when she had placed them on her face, she read her note.
Sybill, I wanted to eat breakfast with Wolf and Anna before classes started.
You looked so peaceful that I didn't wish to disturb you. Thank you for
helping Honey and thank you for helping me end my day in a better
place than where I spent most of it. I will be thinking of you.
Severus
She sighed and smelled the fragrance of the rose before forcing herself out of bed and toward her day. However, she wasn't sad, she was actually looking forward to it. Not only was she very contented with her life at the moment but she was anticipating her lunch date with Anna and Wolf as well.
It didn't take her long to get dressed and ready for classes. She would have probably counted herself among the happiest people at Hogwart's that day even without having run into Severus at the bottom of her classroom ladder. However, finding him there was a pleasant surprise. "G-good morning," she shuttered nearly dropping her armful of belongings once more.
Severus grinned. "Good morning Sybill, I'm glad I caught you before classes began. I had a rather interesting conversation with my two remaining children this morning."
"Oh," said Sybill grinning back.
"It seems that they have a lunch date at the castle."
Sybill blushed slightly. "I hope that's all right. They were a bit upset about Honey leaving and I just thought," Severus stepped forward and silenced her with a kiss.
"It's all right Sybill it was very nice of you to invite them," he said pulling back. "I was wondering if you would mind if I joined you."
She smiled and shook her head. "No, I don't mind at all. I think that's a wonderful idea. I've arranged a picnic for us." She stopped and looked at the ground. "I talked to the house elves last night when I went down to get some dinner." Severus gave her a compassionate look.
"That sounds like fun. I told Mrs. Walker to meet us at my office at lunchtime. Do you want to meet us there or shall we come and get you?"
"No, I'll meet you I won't forget I promise," she said giggling quietly.
"All right we'll see you in a few hours," he said winking at her and turning to leave.
Sybill had a hard time concentrating all morning, but was quite sure that the students didn't notice since she wasn't known for being all that together in the first place. Honey had been in her second class and had given several dirty looks to fellow classmates who had done some snickering behind her back. They had read tealeaves and she had been in too good a mood to predict anyone's demise. She had however, given a scare to a particularly annoying young fourth year student who she had seen being rude to Honey on his way into class, by suggesting that he may wish to watch where he was walking on the way back to the common room.
By the time, she was to meet Severus and the children outside his classroom she was very anxious about spending the next hour with them. She perhaps would have even "forgotten" about their date if Severus hadn't exited his classroom looking for her shortly after her arrival. "I was beginning to believe that you weren't coming," he said smiling. "You weren't about to leave the basket and run were you?" he asked looking at the picnic basket in her hand and then into her eyes.
"I'm the Divination teacher Severus. You stick to potions, I'll do the mind reading if it's all right," she said giving him a disgruntled look and then grinning.
"Professor you're here," screeched Anna coming around her father's legs. "Can we go now Daddy?" she asked looking up at Severus. He shook his head, laughed, and then looked at Sybill.
"Well?"
"Well, what are we waiting for?" she asked looking at Anna and then Wolf.
Mrs. Walker walked with them to the outside of the castle and then left promising to return in an hour for the children. Sybill watched as Anna and Wolf interacted with their father and Mrs. Walker. She was thinking about all of the emotions that had been stirring inside of her of late as she watched the faces of the Anna, Wolf, and Severus as they giggled their way through lunch. Sybill ate very little, spoke even less, and was overwhelmed by how she felt at the end of the hour's time. When Mrs. Walker arrived to take the children home, she was disappointed to see it all end and so were Anna and Wolf.
"Aaawww, do we have to go?" moaned Anna looking up at her father as he began to help Sybill pack up the basket.
"Yes Anna, Professor Trelawney and I have classes to teach this afternoon," he explained causing additional moaning from the young pair. "I'll be home in time for dinner tonight I promise," he said placing a hand on Anna's shoulder.
Wolf reached behind him, picked a long yellow wildflower, and handed it to Sybill. "Are you coming home with dad?"
Sybill took the flower and blushed. "No Wolf, I,"
"Why not?" asked Severus interrupting her reply. "We'd love to have you for dinner, wouldn't we children?"
Anna and Wolf both broke into a chorus of begging her to come. Sybill looked at Severus and shook her head; she leaned into him and whispered. "You haven't spent any time alone with your family in days Severus. You don't need me to be there."
"I don't know about that," he said placing an arm around her shoulder. "I believe I do." Sybill felt her whole body go warm and tingly. "You can't look in those faces and tell them no, can you?"
Sybill looked at Anna and Wolf's faces and then Severus' and smiled. "All right." The children jumped up and down and only calmed after Mrs. Walker reminded them that they needed to be on their way. She promised that they could help with dinner preparations and then made them say good-bye and thank both their father and Professor Trelawney. Severus and Sybill sat up a moment and watched them walk off across the school grounds. "Are you sure you want me to come?" she asked again after they were out of earshot.
Severus leaned down and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Positive. I'll be around after class to get you, so don't think about 'forgetting'." Sybill chuckled and then after she agreed they walked back to the castle arm and arm.
Severus showed up promptly after Sybill's last class causing her to giggle. "What?" he said looking at her curiously.
"You're just the opposite of me," she said looking at him top to bottom. He continued to stare. "I know that you've been busy and forgotten a few meals or to sleep and even one afternoon tea, but you're very prompt, very professional and very, . . ." she searched for the right word and found only one. "Severus."
He chuckled. "I'm not sure how I should take that remark," he said grinning deceitfully.
"I mean it with the utmost respect," she said giggling again. She sighed. "I on the other hand, remember nothing, am never on time and I am very, . . ." she stopped and sighed again.
"Sybill," he finished stepping forward to take her hands. "I see nothing wrong with that at all. I like that quality in you." She giggled again.
"Severus please," she said blushing. He pulled her in close and kissed her. "I'd like to go and change before we go, if you don't mind. Neville Longbottom spilled an entire pot of tea on me this afternoon."
Severus laughed. "That would explain his emotional state this afternoon," he said rolling his eyes and looking disgusted. "I suppose he's afraid you've cursed him now." He laughed again and Sybill laughed with him. "Let's go then," he said taking some of her books.
"Thank you," she said walking along with him. It didn't take long for them to get to her quarters and for her to change, although Severus suggested more than once while she changed that perhaps they didn't need to go to his house.
"Severus, your children are waiting for us," she said pushing him away gently for the third time.
"I'm sure they won't mind if we're late," he suggested the last time he placed his arms around her. Sybill sighed and felt the warmth of his hands against her bare skin, closed her eyes, and felt herself melting into the moment.
"No," she whispered taking his hands. "They'll be others times. I want Anna and Wolf to like me."
Severus pulled back, allowing her to finish dressing. "They do like you and you don't need to worry about that at any rate," he said looking at her slightly irritated again. "You need to stop looking for everyone else's approval and worry about what you want."
Sybill looked at him and sighed. "That's easy for you to say. You know exactly what you want and you aren't afraid to go after it. It's not like anyone is going to get in your way."
Sybill was returning the last gold band to her wrist when Severus took her by it. "Who are you afraid is going to get in your way Sybill?" he asked staring into her eyes. Sybill fought back the tears that were longing to get out. She wanted to tell him that she was still afraid of Trista's return. She wanted to say that she had all ready been cheated out of his love more than once already and that she was afraid it could happen again. But she didn't say any of these things she just looked at him and sighed. "Perhaps we should go?" he said after a long silence. She forced a smile and nodded.
They were across the grounds and nearly out of the gate before Sybill had could shake her mood. Severus had continued talking about his day and had related a conversation about Honey in Potions class. It had been enough to bring her around and make her forget about what had upset her in the first place. By the time they reached his house, her only concern again was, once again, whether or not Anna and Wolf would like her. She looked at Severus as he opened the door and forced another smile. "What?" he asked sensing again that something was wrong.
"Nothing, just happy that I'm here with you," she said looking unconvincing. He looked at her suspiciously and then gave her a kiss.
"They do like you," he added as he opened the door and pulled her in. In a matter of seconds, Anna and Wolf had engulfed her and their father in a loud procession of happy greetings. Mrs. Walker followed them into the entranceway and insisted that the children give them enough space to find a quiet place to sit. Mrs. Walker brought them some tea when they had made their way into the lounge and sat down.
"I just about have your dinner ready sir. Then if it's all right with you I've promised to pop in on my sister," she said smiling at Severus and then looking at Sybill.
"I'm sure we'll do just fine Melinda," he answered looking at Wolf who had just crawled up into Sybill's lap. Sybill grinned and looked over her teacup at Severus. Mrs. Walker turned and disappeared into the kitchen once more.
Anna plopped down on her father's lap and began to giggle. "So Daddy what are you and Professor Trelawney doing for lunch tomorrow?" Severus shook his head and chuckled.
"Anna you're not getting in the habit of coming up to the castle for lunch. Professor Trelawney and I are very busy when we're at school. We haven't the time to have lunch with you and Wolf everyday," he said as kindly as he could.
Anna and Wolf both looked quite disappointed. Sybill looked at Severus and then the children. "Well, not everyday but we'll see if we can work one in every now and then," she whispered to them winking. Severus shook his head at Sybill as Anna climbed higher into his lap to whisper into his ear.
"I like Professor Trelawney Dad," she said grinning widely. "Can she come over more often?" Severus looked at Anna and then Sybill who had managed to catch what Anna had said.
"Well," he whispered back loudly enough for Sybill to hear. "That's really up to Professor Trelawney, but I'm hoping she'll want to." Sybill felt her ears go pink again. Wolf turned around and looked up into Sybill's eyes. "You do want to don't you?" he asked looked liking the weight of the world rested on her answer.
"Well, if it means getting to see you and Anna I'll be happy to spend more time here," she said pulling Wolf up further into her lap. She forced herself not to look in Severus' direction for fear of what look might be in his eyes. She was still feeling overwhelmed by all of the emotion and wasn't sure that she could handle a "told you so" look if it were there. She was rescued a few moments later by Mrs. Walker calling them for dinner.
Mrs. Walker served their dinner and then left promising to return before morning. Severus assured her that they would be fine and then watched as Anna and Wolf scrambled to sit on either side of Sybill at the dinner table. It wasn't long before dinner was over and they were sitting once more in the lounge. The night had become chilly and Severus had lit a fire in the fireplace. Wolf had crawled into Sybill's lap again and had quickly fallen asleep. It wasn't long after that, that Sybill was falling asleep herself.
Severus took Anna to bed and then came back for Wolf, Sybill stirred when he removed him from her lap. "Severus what time is it?" she asked stretching.
"Not very late," he whispered. "I'll be right back." Sybill sat up looked at the clock and was getting to her feet when Severus returned to the room. He crossed the room and stood next to her. "Where are you going?" he asked putting his arms around her.
"I need to get home," she said sleepily.
"Why?" he asked pulling her closer.
"Because I have class early in the morning," she said placing her head on his chest and closing her eyes.
"Stay with me," he whispered. "You don't need to leave. You can sleep here."
Sybill didn't move. "Severus I shouldn't," she whispered. "The children are in the next room." She was drifting off as she spoke. Severus chuckled and then picked her up.
"You're too sleepy to go wandering around at night. You're staying here and you'll go back to the castle in the morning," he said carrying her through the house and into his bedroom. He pulled off her shoes and pulled the blankets over her. "Good night," he whispered giving her a kiss.
Sybill looked up at him and smiled. "Good night."
She awoke sometime in the middle of the night and felt him lying next to her. He had gone to sleep with his arms around her. His body was warm and when he drew a breath, she felt it on the back of her neck. She couldn't imagine anywhere in the world that she wanted to be more than where she was at this moment. She turned carefully so that she would not loose the protection of his open arms and began to kiss him. At first, he did not respond and then he drew a deep breath and brought his arms in tighter, bringing her into him. She now found that her kisses were being returned and brought her own arms up to caress the small of his back.
Sybill felt him pulling at the clothes that she found she was still wearing and was soon helping him with them. In a matter of seconds, she was feeling his bare skin next to hers. She sighed and concentrated on how she was feeling and how she never thought she was going to make it to this point. She was thinking that she was very happy that Severus had insisted that she stay when she felt him begin to kiss down her neck. She drew a deep breath and pushed into him harder. "Nothing could possibly spoil this moment," she thought. Then he said four simple words.
"I love you, Trista." Sybill felt herself stop breathing. Had he said what she thought he said? She felt her heart sink and the tears welling up inside her. She pulled away, found her clothing nearby, and sat up. Severus opens his eyes and reached for her. "Sybill what are you doing?"
She pushed back the tears. "I, I should be going," she said trying to slip back into her clothes.
"Sybill was I wrong? You were the one who woke me," he said looking confused. She was getting more upset by the minute. She shook her head and rubbed her eyes. She looked around and found her glasses on the table by the bed.
Sybill looked at Severus distressed. "You don't even know that you've said it?" she said tears rolling down her cheeks.
"Sybill what are you talking about?" asked Severus looking quite irritated.
"Severus you called me Trista," she said almost sobbing. Severus sat up and there was a look of realization on his face.
"Sybill I'm,.,,"
"NO, don't say you're sorry," she said interrupting him. "Despite what you said last night you obviously have unresolved feelings for your wife." She thought about what she said. "That's the key isn't it? She is still your wife Severus." Sybill looked around fighting back the tears and the sobs. "I shouldn't even be here." Severus didn't know what to say. He sat quietly looking into her swollen eyes. "I'm going ho," she started to say home but it just didn't feel right. ". . . back to the castle. When you've decided how you feel I will be there."
Severus reached out for her. "Sybill wait we should talk." She pulled back out of his reach.
"I have waited for your love a long time Severus Snape. I will wait a bit longer." And with these words she was gone.
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Sybill sat in her office with her head in her hands wishing she hadn't just spent the last hour in Albus Dumbledore's office. It had probably been a mistake on her part to talk him about how she had been feeling. It had been three days since she had left Snape's house and she hadn't even seen him, let alone talked to him. She didn't need a crystal ball to know what kind of message he was trying to send her. She drew a deep breath, removed her glasses, and placed them table in front of her. She was rubbing her eyes and trying to keep from crying again when she heard someone enter the room.
"Professor Trelawney, are you all right?" Anna had just entered her classroom and sat down in front her.
"Anna," she said quickly wiping her eyes and replacing her glasses. "What are you doing here?" Anna looked hurt by her question. "I didn't mean it like that Anna, I just that I didn't expect you. You're always welcome to come and see me," she assured her.
"Professor I just wondered why you hadn't been to see us. Did you and my daddy have a fight?" she asked looking at Sybill's swollen eyes.
Sybill felt very uncomfortable. "Why would you ask a question like that?"
"Well you haven't been over since the other night and Dad's been upset since then," she explained.
"Upset?" asked Sybill curiously.
"Like he used to get when he and Mummy fought," Anna continued. "I heard him talking to Mrs. Walker about you and then later I noticed that he'd been crying again." She stopped and looked at Sybill. "He looked like you do." The look on her face turned to one of concern. "Did my daddy say something to hurt you Professor?"
Sybill looked into Anna's eyes. "Your father I'm sure would never intentionally say anything to hurt me Anna. I just thought that maybe he needed some time to sort things out about your mother."
"She's not coming back Professor. I know she's not coming back," repeated Anna a tear in her eye. Sybill rose and went to comfort Anna.
"You have to know that her leaving didn't have anything to do with you Anna. Sometimes adults just can't figure out how to make things work anymore. It doesn't mean that your parents don't still love you and your brother and sister," assured Sybill.
"I know. Mrs. Walker keeps telling us that too," said Anna drying her eyes on her sleeve. Sybill put her arm around her and smiled. "You and Daddy weren't fighting about me and Wolf .were you?"
Sybill looked at Anna sympathetically. "No sweetie. In the first place, your father and I aren't fighting. And why would we be fighting about you anyway?"
"I just thought." Anna stopped talking and Sybill looked at her, her eyes grew wide.
"Anna, don't ever think that! Anyone who would not be your father's friend because of his children wouldn't be someone that you or he would want around anyway." She pulled Anna into a hug and smiled. "I hope that you and Wolf will want to come and see me and be my friend even if your father and I don't end up staying good friends." Anna pulled back and nodded sniffling. "Good, now you better get home before Mrs. Walker finds out you're gone."
"You'll come and see us soon?"
Sybill nodded. "I promise." Anna gave her another hug and then left leaving her alone again with more sorrow in her heart.
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Severus sat alone in his office as well his head also in his hands. He was fighting the exhaustion that he felt. He was sure that he hadn't slept ten hours in the last three days. He kept thinking about what Sybill had said to him before she had disappeared and it was making it difficult to sleep, eat, and even teach. He had been neglecting going home again. He was about to fall asleep at his desk when he got a visitor. "Severus I was beginning to get worried about you. I haven't seen you in days." He looked up to see Professor Dumbledore approach his desk and then sit down.
"Albus I've just been busy, start of term you know," he said trying to look as alert as he could.
Dumbledore smiled. "Yes. Well it seems the start of term is taking its toll on others on the faculty as well," he said giving Severus a knowing look. Snape looked up at him curiously.
"Oh?"
"I just spent an hour in my office talking to Sybill Trelawney about taking next term off. It seems she feels that she needs to take a sabbatical." Severus looked into the Headmaster's eyes and saw that he knew more than he was saying. Severus shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "You know Severus this school is like a small town. There is not much that goes on here that doesn't get talked about."
Snape pushed back the embarrassment that he felt building inside of him. "So the whole school is again having a laugh at my expense," he said flatly.
Dumbledore sighed and shook his head. "Severus no one is laughing or would laugh at your misfortune. I don't know what's going on between you and Sybill but I assure you that everyone including myself was very sympathetic to what happened between you and Trista. Had you been willing to let us in, you would have known that."
Severus looked into his friends face and felt his emotions letting go. "I'm afraid if there was to ever be anything between Sybill and me it is in a shambles now. She says that I have unresolved feelings for Trista." Severus looked down at his hands and then up into Dumbledore's eyes. "To tell you the truth I don't know if she's right or wrong. We weren't happy long before she left the children and me, and I know that I wouldn't take her back."
"But she's mother of your children and you've spent a great deal of your life with her," finished Dumbledore. Severus nodded. "I can't imagine that Sybill is asking you to forget about all of that."
Severus knew that she was not asking him to forget about his life with Trista. She just wanted him to be sure, about what he wanted. Over the last few days, he had been unhappier than he had been in weeks and just when he had started feeling good again. "How long Albus do I have to be alone and miserable before I'm allowed to be happy again?"
"That my friend is up to you," he said rising to his feet. "I suggest though that you not dwell on the past and let the future slip through your hands." He turned and started to walk toward the door to his office. He stopped and turned around. "Oh and I also suggest that you get some rest. You're not doing anyone any good in your present state, including yourself." He smiled once more and then exited his office leaving Severus looking a little less taxed and a little more determined. He decided that it was time to face what he'd been avoiding for days. It was time to see if it was too late to fix things with Sybill.
Sybill packed up her books and things for the weekend, while she thought about what Anna had said. Maybe she hadn't been fair with Severus. It hadn't been that long since his wife and walked out on him and his children and she had more or less done the same thing. She had just about talked herself into seeking him out when she looked up to find him entering her classroom. "Severus," she said quickly trying to hide her swollen eyes.
"Sybill do you have some time to talk to me?" he asked looking at her.
She smiled. "I have nothing but time for you Severus. Believe it or not, I was about to come and look for you." He looked at her like he wasn't sure whether to believe her or not and then he stepped forward and held out his arms. Sybill hesitated and then accepted the sanctuary of them.
"I just had an interesting conversation with Albus Dumbledore," said Severus after holding her for a moment or two. Sybill pulled back and looked at him her face turning red.
"I'm sorry Severus, I never meant," Severus held his hand to her lips.
"No apologies if anyone should apologize." Sybill shook her head.
"No. I really don't want you to. I feel badly enough about all of this as it is," she confessed.
"Clean slate then?" he asked smiling.
She nodded. "I think that sounds like a grand idea." She sighed like the weight of the world had been lifted off of her.
Severus pulled her close once more. "Sybill you said something the other night that I've been thinking about since you left." She looked up at him and then down again as though she were ashamed.
"Oh."
"You said you had waited a long time for my love." Sybill pulled away, her face burning red. "What?" he asked trying to pull her back.
"It's quite foolish,"' she whispered.
"What?" he asked again taking her in his arms.
"Severus, I've always loved you, since we were children. I just couldn't ever get you to see me as anything other than a friend." There were tears rolling down her cheeks. "Then Trista came along and," she stopped.
"I never knew that you felt that way about me," he said lifting her face and wiping her tears. "I'm not going to make that mistake again. Sybill I'm not going to guarantee that it won't be tough. I can't guarantee there won't be times when one or both of us might want out. But I know that if I where to walk away from this opportunity with you now I would regret it for the rest of my life." He reached into his robe pocket, pulled out a parchment envelope, and handed it to Sybill.
"What is it?" she asked looking at it as though it held snakes.
"It won't explode Sybill," he said trying not to chuckle. "I went and filed the papers yesterday to have my and Trista's marriage dissolved. I will take a little time, but I'm sure she's not going to fight me on it," he said staring into her eyes.
Sybill felt the tears pooling there. "And the children?" she asked still staring at the unopened envelope.
"I've talked to them and they understand that their mother isn't coming back." Sybill thought about what Anna had said just a short time ago and wondered if Severus knew just how much his talk had impacted his daughter. He sensed her uneasiness, misread the signals, and began to pull back. "Am I moving too fast?"
Sybill looked into his eyes and sensed his fear. "No," she said taking him back into her arms this time pulling him closer. "I was just lost wool gathering." He smiled and took advantage of his current position by kissing her long and hard. Sybill melted into his kiss. "Severus," she started after she had pulled back. "Anna was just here."
"She was?" he said looking concerned.
"It's all right Severus, she was just worried about you and me," explained Sybill. "She was worried that we were fighting."
Severus dropped his arms and moved away from Sybill. "I'm afraid that Trista and I spent so much time fighting in front them that that doesn't surprise me at all."
Sybill walked up and put her arms around him. She was trembling. "It will be all right Severus. I told her we weren't fighting and we really weren't. I also told her that I intended to be her friend no matter what happened between you and I me." Severus turned in her arms and smiled.
"So what plans have you with my children Sybill Trelawney?" Sybill grinned.
"None that I can't include you in," she admitted. She reached up, gave him another kiss, and then pulled back until she was holding only his hands. She was still shaking slightly, so he held her even tighter. "So am I invited to dinner?"
Severus looked slightly taken aback but smiled. "Absolutely, the children will be very happy."
"And you?"
"Oh, I'm all ready happy," he said grinning. He pulled her in close again and kissed her, which she very willingly accepted. Then she laid her head on his chest and thought once again about how perfect the moment was. "Sybill," he started causing her to day-dreamingly answer with a hum. "I love you."
Sybill rolled over, felt beside her in the bed, and was disappointed to find it empty. "Maybe it was a dream," she thought as she opened her eyes and strained to see. There was no one sleeping next to her, but there was a single red rose and a piece of parchment, which she picked up. She reached across for her glasses and when she had placed them on her face, she read her note.
Sybill, I wanted to eat breakfast with Wolf and Anna before classes started.
You looked so peaceful that I didn't wish to disturb you. Thank you for
helping Honey and thank you for helping me end my day in a better
place than where I spent most of it. I will be thinking of you.
Severus
She sighed and smelled the fragrance of the rose before forcing herself out of bed and toward her day. However, she wasn't sad, she was actually looking forward to it. Not only was she very contented with her life at the moment but she was anticipating her lunch date with Anna and Wolf as well.
It didn't take her long to get dressed and ready for classes. She would have probably counted herself among the happiest people at Hogwart's that day even without having run into Severus at the bottom of her classroom ladder. However, finding him there was a pleasant surprise. "G-good morning," she shuttered nearly dropping her armful of belongings once more.
Severus grinned. "Good morning Sybill, I'm glad I caught you before classes began. I had a rather interesting conversation with my two remaining children this morning."
"Oh," said Sybill grinning back.
"It seems that they have a lunch date at the castle."
Sybill blushed slightly. "I hope that's all right. They were a bit upset about Honey leaving and I just thought," Severus stepped forward and silenced her with a kiss.
"It's all right Sybill it was very nice of you to invite them," he said pulling back. "I was wondering if you would mind if I joined you."
She smiled and shook her head. "No, I don't mind at all. I think that's a wonderful idea. I've arranged a picnic for us." She stopped and looked at the ground. "I talked to the house elves last night when I went down to get some dinner." Severus gave her a compassionate look.
"That sounds like fun. I told Mrs. Walker to meet us at my office at lunchtime. Do you want to meet us there or shall we come and get you?"
"No, I'll meet you I won't forget I promise," she said giggling quietly.
"All right we'll see you in a few hours," he said winking at her and turning to leave.
Sybill had a hard time concentrating all morning, but was quite sure that the students didn't notice since she wasn't known for being all that together in the first place. Honey had been in her second class and had given several dirty looks to fellow classmates who had done some snickering behind her back. They had read tealeaves and she had been in too good a mood to predict anyone's demise. She had however, given a scare to a particularly annoying young fourth year student who she had seen being rude to Honey on his way into class, by suggesting that he may wish to watch where he was walking on the way back to the common room.
By the time, she was to meet Severus and the children outside his classroom she was very anxious about spending the next hour with them. She perhaps would have even "forgotten" about their date if Severus hadn't exited his classroom looking for her shortly after her arrival. "I was beginning to believe that you weren't coming," he said smiling. "You weren't about to leave the basket and run were you?" he asked looking at the picnic basket in her hand and then into her eyes.
"I'm the Divination teacher Severus. You stick to potions, I'll do the mind reading if it's all right," she said giving him a disgruntled look and then grinning.
"Professor you're here," screeched Anna coming around her father's legs. "Can we go now Daddy?" she asked looking up at Severus. He shook his head, laughed, and then looked at Sybill.
"Well?"
"Well, what are we waiting for?" she asked looking at Anna and then Wolf.
Mrs. Walker walked with them to the outside of the castle and then left promising to return in an hour for the children. Sybill watched as Anna and Wolf interacted with their father and Mrs. Walker. She was thinking about all of the emotions that had been stirring inside of her of late as she watched the faces of the Anna, Wolf, and Severus as they giggled their way through lunch. Sybill ate very little, spoke even less, and was overwhelmed by how she felt at the end of the hour's time. When Mrs. Walker arrived to take the children home, she was disappointed to see it all end and so were Anna and Wolf.
"Aaawww, do we have to go?" moaned Anna looking up at her father as he began to help Sybill pack up the basket.
"Yes Anna, Professor Trelawney and I have classes to teach this afternoon," he explained causing additional moaning from the young pair. "I'll be home in time for dinner tonight I promise," he said placing a hand on Anna's shoulder.
Wolf reached behind him, picked a long yellow wildflower, and handed it to Sybill. "Are you coming home with dad?"
Sybill took the flower and blushed. "No Wolf, I,"
"Why not?" asked Severus interrupting her reply. "We'd love to have you for dinner, wouldn't we children?"
Anna and Wolf both broke into a chorus of begging her to come. Sybill looked at Severus and shook her head; she leaned into him and whispered. "You haven't spent any time alone with your family in days Severus. You don't need me to be there."
"I don't know about that," he said placing an arm around her shoulder. "I believe I do." Sybill felt her whole body go warm and tingly. "You can't look in those faces and tell them no, can you?"
Sybill looked at Anna and Wolf's faces and then Severus' and smiled. "All right." The children jumped up and down and only calmed after Mrs. Walker reminded them that they needed to be on their way. She promised that they could help with dinner preparations and then made them say good-bye and thank both their father and Professor Trelawney. Severus and Sybill sat up a moment and watched them walk off across the school grounds. "Are you sure you want me to come?" she asked again after they were out of earshot.
Severus leaned down and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Positive. I'll be around after class to get you, so don't think about 'forgetting'." Sybill chuckled and then after she agreed they walked back to the castle arm and arm.
Severus showed up promptly after Sybill's last class causing her to giggle. "What?" he said looking at her curiously.
"You're just the opposite of me," she said looking at him top to bottom. He continued to stare. "I know that you've been busy and forgotten a few meals or to sleep and even one afternoon tea, but you're very prompt, very professional and very, . . ." she searched for the right word and found only one. "Severus."
He chuckled. "I'm not sure how I should take that remark," he said grinning deceitfully.
"I mean it with the utmost respect," she said giggling again. She sighed. "I on the other hand, remember nothing, am never on time and I am very, . . ." she stopped and sighed again.
"Sybill," he finished stepping forward to take her hands. "I see nothing wrong with that at all. I like that quality in you." She giggled again.
"Severus please," she said blushing. He pulled her in close and kissed her. "I'd like to go and change before we go, if you don't mind. Neville Longbottom spilled an entire pot of tea on me this afternoon."
Severus laughed. "That would explain his emotional state this afternoon," he said rolling his eyes and looking disgusted. "I suppose he's afraid you've cursed him now." He laughed again and Sybill laughed with him. "Let's go then," he said taking some of her books.
"Thank you," she said walking along with him. It didn't take long for them to get to her quarters and for her to change, although Severus suggested more than once while she changed that perhaps they didn't need to go to his house.
"Severus, your children are waiting for us," she said pushing him away gently for the third time.
"I'm sure they won't mind if we're late," he suggested the last time he placed his arms around her. Sybill sighed and felt the warmth of his hands against her bare skin, closed her eyes, and felt herself melting into the moment.
"No," she whispered taking his hands. "They'll be others times. I want Anna and Wolf to like me."
Severus pulled back, allowing her to finish dressing. "They do like you and you don't need to worry about that at any rate," he said looking at her slightly irritated again. "You need to stop looking for everyone else's approval and worry about what you want."
Sybill looked at him and sighed. "That's easy for you to say. You know exactly what you want and you aren't afraid to go after it. It's not like anyone is going to get in your way."
Sybill was returning the last gold band to her wrist when Severus took her by it. "Who are you afraid is going to get in your way Sybill?" he asked staring into her eyes. Sybill fought back the tears that were longing to get out. She wanted to tell him that she was still afraid of Trista's return. She wanted to say that she had all ready been cheated out of his love more than once already and that she was afraid it could happen again. But she didn't say any of these things she just looked at him and sighed. "Perhaps we should go?" he said after a long silence. She forced a smile and nodded.
They were across the grounds and nearly out of the gate before Sybill had could shake her mood. Severus had continued talking about his day and had related a conversation about Honey in Potions class. It had been enough to bring her around and make her forget about what had upset her in the first place. By the time they reached his house, her only concern again was, once again, whether or not Anna and Wolf would like her. She looked at Severus as he opened the door and forced another smile. "What?" he asked sensing again that something was wrong.
"Nothing, just happy that I'm here with you," she said looking unconvincing. He looked at her suspiciously and then gave her a kiss.
"They do like you," he added as he opened the door and pulled her in. In a matter of seconds, Anna and Wolf had engulfed her and their father in a loud procession of happy greetings. Mrs. Walker followed them into the entranceway and insisted that the children give them enough space to find a quiet place to sit. Mrs. Walker brought them some tea when they had made their way into the lounge and sat down.
"I just about have your dinner ready sir. Then if it's all right with you I've promised to pop in on my sister," she said smiling at Severus and then looking at Sybill.
"I'm sure we'll do just fine Melinda," he answered looking at Wolf who had just crawled up into Sybill's lap. Sybill grinned and looked over her teacup at Severus. Mrs. Walker turned and disappeared into the kitchen once more.
Anna plopped down on her father's lap and began to giggle. "So Daddy what are you and Professor Trelawney doing for lunch tomorrow?" Severus shook his head and chuckled.
"Anna you're not getting in the habit of coming up to the castle for lunch. Professor Trelawney and I are very busy when we're at school. We haven't the time to have lunch with you and Wolf everyday," he said as kindly as he could.
Anna and Wolf both looked quite disappointed. Sybill looked at Severus and then the children. "Well, not everyday but we'll see if we can work one in every now and then," she whispered to them winking. Severus shook his head at Sybill as Anna climbed higher into his lap to whisper into his ear.
"I like Professor Trelawney Dad," she said grinning widely. "Can she come over more often?" Severus looked at Anna and then Sybill who had managed to catch what Anna had said.
"Well," he whispered back loudly enough for Sybill to hear. "That's really up to Professor Trelawney, but I'm hoping she'll want to." Sybill felt her ears go pink again. Wolf turned around and looked up into Sybill's eyes. "You do want to don't you?" he asked looked liking the weight of the world rested on her answer.
"Well, if it means getting to see you and Anna I'll be happy to spend more time here," she said pulling Wolf up further into her lap. She forced herself not to look in Severus' direction for fear of what look might be in his eyes. She was still feeling overwhelmed by all of the emotion and wasn't sure that she could handle a "told you so" look if it were there. She was rescued a few moments later by Mrs. Walker calling them for dinner.
Mrs. Walker served their dinner and then left promising to return before morning. Severus assured her that they would be fine and then watched as Anna and Wolf scrambled to sit on either side of Sybill at the dinner table. It wasn't long before dinner was over and they were sitting once more in the lounge. The night had become chilly and Severus had lit a fire in the fireplace. Wolf had crawled into Sybill's lap again and had quickly fallen asleep. It wasn't long after that, that Sybill was falling asleep herself.
Severus took Anna to bed and then came back for Wolf, Sybill stirred when he removed him from her lap. "Severus what time is it?" she asked stretching.
"Not very late," he whispered. "I'll be right back." Sybill sat up looked at the clock and was getting to her feet when Severus returned to the room. He crossed the room and stood next to her. "Where are you going?" he asked putting his arms around her.
"I need to get home," she said sleepily.
"Why?" he asked pulling her closer.
"Because I have class early in the morning," she said placing her head on his chest and closing her eyes.
"Stay with me," he whispered. "You don't need to leave. You can sleep here."
Sybill didn't move. "Severus I shouldn't," she whispered. "The children are in the next room." She was drifting off as she spoke. Severus chuckled and then picked her up.
"You're too sleepy to go wandering around at night. You're staying here and you'll go back to the castle in the morning," he said carrying her through the house and into his bedroom. He pulled off her shoes and pulled the blankets over her. "Good night," he whispered giving her a kiss.
Sybill looked up at him and smiled. "Good night."
She awoke sometime in the middle of the night and felt him lying next to her. He had gone to sleep with his arms around her. His body was warm and when he drew a breath, she felt it on the back of her neck. She couldn't imagine anywhere in the world that she wanted to be more than where she was at this moment. She turned carefully so that she would not loose the protection of his open arms and began to kiss him. At first, he did not respond and then he drew a deep breath and brought his arms in tighter, bringing her into him. She now found that her kisses were being returned and brought her own arms up to caress the small of his back.
Sybill felt him pulling at the clothes that she found she was still wearing and was soon helping him with them. In a matter of seconds, she was feeling his bare skin next to hers. She sighed and concentrated on how she was feeling and how she never thought she was going to make it to this point. She was thinking that she was very happy that Severus had insisted that she stay when she felt him begin to kiss down her neck. She drew a deep breath and pushed into him harder. "Nothing could possibly spoil this moment," she thought. Then he said four simple words.
"I love you, Trista." Sybill felt herself stop breathing. Had he said what she thought he said? She felt her heart sink and the tears welling up inside her. She pulled away, found her clothing nearby, and sat up. Severus opens his eyes and reached for her. "Sybill what are you doing?"
She pushed back the tears. "I, I should be going," she said trying to slip back into her clothes.
"Sybill was I wrong? You were the one who woke me," he said looking confused. She was getting more upset by the minute. She shook her head and rubbed her eyes. She looked around and found her glasses on the table by the bed.
Sybill looked at Severus distressed. "You don't even know that you've said it?" she said tears rolling down her cheeks.
"Sybill what are you talking about?" asked Severus looking quite irritated.
"Severus you called me Trista," she said almost sobbing. Severus sat up and there was a look of realization on his face.
"Sybill I'm,.,,"
"NO, don't say you're sorry," she said interrupting him. "Despite what you said last night you obviously have unresolved feelings for your wife." She thought about what she said. "That's the key isn't it? She is still your wife Severus." Sybill looked around fighting back the tears and the sobs. "I shouldn't even be here." Severus didn't know what to say. He sat quietly looking into her swollen eyes. "I'm going ho," she started to say home but it just didn't feel right. ". . . back to the castle. When you've decided how you feel I will be there."
Severus reached out for her. "Sybill wait we should talk." She pulled back out of his reach.
"I have waited for your love a long time Severus Snape. I will wait a bit longer." And with these words she was gone.
********************
Sybill sat in her office with her head in her hands wishing she hadn't just spent the last hour in Albus Dumbledore's office. It had probably been a mistake on her part to talk him about how she had been feeling. It had been three days since she had left Snape's house and she hadn't even seen him, let alone talked to him. She didn't need a crystal ball to know what kind of message he was trying to send her. She drew a deep breath, removed her glasses, and placed them table in front of her. She was rubbing her eyes and trying to keep from crying again when she heard someone enter the room.
"Professor Trelawney, are you all right?" Anna had just entered her classroom and sat down in front her.
"Anna," she said quickly wiping her eyes and replacing her glasses. "What are you doing here?" Anna looked hurt by her question. "I didn't mean it like that Anna, I just that I didn't expect you. You're always welcome to come and see me," she assured her.
"Professor I just wondered why you hadn't been to see us. Did you and my daddy have a fight?" she asked looking at Sybill's swollen eyes.
Sybill felt very uncomfortable. "Why would you ask a question like that?"
"Well you haven't been over since the other night and Dad's been upset since then," she explained.
"Upset?" asked Sybill curiously.
"Like he used to get when he and Mummy fought," Anna continued. "I heard him talking to Mrs. Walker about you and then later I noticed that he'd been crying again." She stopped and looked at Sybill. "He looked like you do." The look on her face turned to one of concern. "Did my daddy say something to hurt you Professor?"
Sybill looked into Anna's eyes. "Your father I'm sure would never intentionally say anything to hurt me Anna. I just thought that maybe he needed some time to sort things out about your mother."
"She's not coming back Professor. I know she's not coming back," repeated Anna a tear in her eye. Sybill rose and went to comfort Anna.
"You have to know that her leaving didn't have anything to do with you Anna. Sometimes adults just can't figure out how to make things work anymore. It doesn't mean that your parents don't still love you and your brother and sister," assured Sybill.
"I know. Mrs. Walker keeps telling us that too," said Anna drying her eyes on her sleeve. Sybill put her arm around her and smiled. "You and Daddy weren't fighting about me and Wolf .were you?"
Sybill looked at Anna sympathetically. "No sweetie. In the first place, your father and I aren't fighting. And why would we be fighting about you anyway?"
"I just thought." Anna stopped talking and Sybill looked at her, her eyes grew wide.
"Anna, don't ever think that! Anyone who would not be your father's friend because of his children wouldn't be someone that you or he would want around anyway." She pulled Anna into a hug and smiled. "I hope that you and Wolf will want to come and see me and be my friend even if your father and I don't end up staying good friends." Anna pulled back and nodded sniffling. "Good, now you better get home before Mrs. Walker finds out you're gone."
"You'll come and see us soon?"
Sybill nodded. "I promise." Anna gave her another hug and then left leaving her alone again with more sorrow in her heart.
************************
Severus sat alone in his office as well his head also in his hands. He was fighting the exhaustion that he felt. He was sure that he hadn't slept ten hours in the last three days. He kept thinking about what Sybill had said to him before she had disappeared and it was making it difficult to sleep, eat, and even teach. He had been neglecting going home again. He was about to fall asleep at his desk when he got a visitor. "Severus I was beginning to get worried about you. I haven't seen you in days." He looked up to see Professor Dumbledore approach his desk and then sit down.
"Albus I've just been busy, start of term you know," he said trying to look as alert as he could.
Dumbledore smiled. "Yes. Well it seems the start of term is taking its toll on others on the faculty as well," he said giving Severus a knowing look. Snape looked up at him curiously.
"Oh?"
"I just spent an hour in my office talking to Sybill Trelawney about taking next term off. It seems she feels that she needs to take a sabbatical." Severus looked into the Headmaster's eyes and saw that he knew more than he was saying. Severus shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "You know Severus this school is like a small town. There is not much that goes on here that doesn't get talked about."
Snape pushed back the embarrassment that he felt building inside of him. "So the whole school is again having a laugh at my expense," he said flatly.
Dumbledore sighed and shook his head. "Severus no one is laughing or would laugh at your misfortune. I don't know what's going on between you and Sybill but I assure you that everyone including myself was very sympathetic to what happened between you and Trista. Had you been willing to let us in, you would have known that."
Severus looked into his friends face and felt his emotions letting go. "I'm afraid if there was to ever be anything between Sybill and me it is in a shambles now. She says that I have unresolved feelings for Trista." Severus looked down at his hands and then up into Dumbledore's eyes. "To tell you the truth I don't know if she's right or wrong. We weren't happy long before she left the children and me, and I know that I wouldn't take her back."
"But she's mother of your children and you've spent a great deal of your life with her," finished Dumbledore. Severus nodded. "I can't imagine that Sybill is asking you to forget about all of that."
Severus knew that she was not asking him to forget about his life with Trista. She just wanted him to be sure, about what he wanted. Over the last few days, he had been unhappier than he had been in weeks and just when he had started feeling good again. "How long Albus do I have to be alone and miserable before I'm allowed to be happy again?"
"That my friend is up to you," he said rising to his feet. "I suggest though that you not dwell on the past and let the future slip through your hands." He turned and started to walk toward the door to his office. He stopped and turned around. "Oh and I also suggest that you get some rest. You're not doing anyone any good in your present state, including yourself." He smiled once more and then exited his office leaving Severus looking a little less taxed and a little more determined. He decided that it was time to face what he'd been avoiding for days. It was time to see if it was too late to fix things with Sybill.
Sybill packed up her books and things for the weekend, while she thought about what Anna had said. Maybe she hadn't been fair with Severus. It hadn't been that long since his wife and walked out on him and his children and she had more or less done the same thing. She had just about talked herself into seeking him out when she looked up to find him entering her classroom. "Severus," she said quickly trying to hide her swollen eyes.
"Sybill do you have some time to talk to me?" he asked looking at her.
She smiled. "I have nothing but time for you Severus. Believe it or not, I was about to come and look for you." He looked at her like he wasn't sure whether to believe her or not and then he stepped forward and held out his arms. Sybill hesitated and then accepted the sanctuary of them.
"I just had an interesting conversation with Albus Dumbledore," said Severus after holding her for a moment or two. Sybill pulled back and looked at him her face turning red.
"I'm sorry Severus, I never meant," Severus held his hand to her lips.
"No apologies if anyone should apologize." Sybill shook her head.
"No. I really don't want you to. I feel badly enough about all of this as it is," she confessed.
"Clean slate then?" he asked smiling.
She nodded. "I think that sounds like a grand idea." She sighed like the weight of the world had been lifted off of her.
Severus pulled her close once more. "Sybill you said something the other night that I've been thinking about since you left." She looked up at him and then down again as though she were ashamed.
"Oh."
"You said you had waited a long time for my love." Sybill pulled away, her face burning red. "What?" he asked trying to pull her back.
"It's quite foolish,"' she whispered.
"What?" he asked again taking her in his arms.
"Severus, I've always loved you, since we were children. I just couldn't ever get you to see me as anything other than a friend." There were tears rolling down her cheeks. "Then Trista came along and," she stopped.
"I never knew that you felt that way about me," he said lifting her face and wiping her tears. "I'm not going to make that mistake again. Sybill I'm not going to guarantee that it won't be tough. I can't guarantee there won't be times when one or both of us might want out. But I know that if I where to walk away from this opportunity with you now I would regret it for the rest of my life." He reached into his robe pocket, pulled out a parchment envelope, and handed it to Sybill.
"What is it?" she asked looking at it as though it held snakes.
"It won't explode Sybill," he said trying not to chuckle. "I went and filed the papers yesterday to have my and Trista's marriage dissolved. I will take a little time, but I'm sure she's not going to fight me on it," he said staring into her eyes.
Sybill felt the tears pooling there. "And the children?" she asked still staring at the unopened envelope.
"I've talked to them and they understand that their mother isn't coming back." Sybill thought about what Anna had said just a short time ago and wondered if Severus knew just how much his talk had impacted his daughter. He sensed her uneasiness, misread the signals, and began to pull back. "Am I moving too fast?"
Sybill looked into his eyes and sensed his fear. "No," she said taking him back into her arms this time pulling him closer. "I was just lost wool gathering." He smiled and took advantage of his current position by kissing her long and hard. Sybill melted into his kiss. "Severus," she started after she had pulled back. "Anna was just here."
"She was?" he said looking concerned.
"It's all right Severus, she was just worried about you and me," explained Sybill. "She was worried that we were fighting."
Severus dropped his arms and moved away from Sybill. "I'm afraid that Trista and I spent so much time fighting in front them that that doesn't surprise me at all."
Sybill walked up and put her arms around him. She was trembling. "It will be all right Severus. I told her we weren't fighting and we really weren't. I also told her that I intended to be her friend no matter what happened between you and I me." Severus turned in her arms and smiled.
"So what plans have you with my children Sybill Trelawney?" Sybill grinned.
"None that I can't include you in," she admitted. She reached up, gave him another kiss, and then pulled back until she was holding only his hands. She was still shaking slightly, so he held her even tighter. "So am I invited to dinner?"
Severus looked slightly taken aback but smiled. "Absolutely, the children will be very happy."
"And you?"
"Oh, I'm all ready happy," he said grinning. He pulled her in close again and kissed her, which she very willingly accepted. Then she laid her head on his chest and thought once again about how perfect the moment was. "Sybill," he started causing her to day-dreamingly answer with a hum. "I love you."