Chapter Three
"It's All About Forgiveness"
Previously on my version of Third Watch:
Faith is recovering from being shot. Fred wants her to quit her job. Bosco asks Faith to be partners with him again but Cruz gives him another shot at working ACU. Davis tells Sully he won't be partners with him any more unless he tells Faith the truth, and is forgiven for his actions.
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Faith is laying on her couch. Her arm is in a sling and her swollen eye is dark purple but she can see out of it a little now. She is flipping through the channels with the remote until she finally turns the tv off. The apartment is quiet. Fred got up and got the kids off to school and then went to work.. She is tired of laying down already, and there is nothing on tv she cares to see. She is bored.
There's a knock at the door, and she grimaces as she gingerly gets up from the couch. She opens the door, and standing there, holding a basket of fruit, plastic wrapped with a bow, is Sully. He smiles as he peeks around the huge basket. "Special delivery." He says. "How are ya feeling?"
"Sully, how sweet. C'mon in. Would you like some coffee?"
"Yah, I'd love a cup, uh, if you're feeling up to some company."
"I'd love some company. I've only been laid up for two days and I'm bored out of my mind. I usually have so much work to do around here that I never have time to sit. Now I have time, and I hate it." She walks slowly to the table, and holds her chest as she sits down across from him.
As Sully watches her, a feeling of regret washes over him. She looks more banged up than he had expected. It is obvious that she is in more pain than she lets on. He notices that she keeps holding her chest, and every time she inhales, her body seems to shudder slightly. This is going to be harder for him than he first imagined. He isn't sure where to begin. And he isn't sure how she is going to react to what he has to tell her.
Sully grabs a napkin that is laying on the table and starts folding it unconsciously. "So Faith…I need to talk to you about the incident at the diner."
"Oh, so this isn't really a social call. What, did they send you down here for my statement?"
"No. Not at all. I do have to turn in my report though. I need to get a few details straight with you before I can turn it in." He pauses again and looks at her, then looks down at his hands. He begins tearing the napkin apart.
Faith can see that Sully is squirming. His smile is now a scowl and there are worry lines on his brow and he is having trouble making eye contact with her. "Sully…look, I'm going to be ok." She says, trying to ease his mind.
He looks at her quickly, and then back at the napkin he destroyed. "Faith, I just feel terrible about what happened. My God, look at you. You could have died. I didn't… I should have been there."
She makes it worse for him when she puts her hand on his huge hand and says softly, "Sul, it's ok. It wasn't your fault."
He pulls his hand out from under hers and says, "Yes it is. It's all my fault. You don't understand." He looks at her and she's looking back sympathetically. "I was… I didn't react. I didn't get there to back you up." He stops talking and glances up at her face to see her reaction.
"Sully, you can't blame yourself for not getting there quick enough. I should have waited for you. It's really my fault."
"No. I didn't back you up. I never thought you'd be hurt. And I didn't back you up."
"What do ya mean? Of course you backed me up. Davis was there. I saw you…"
Sully cuts her off and says, "Faith, I was angry at you. That is why we took so long to get there. I was angry at you, so naturally I didn't believe that you were really in danger." He looks up at her and now her expression has changed. She looks confused. She is starting at him in disbelief, and she looks as if she is replaying the incident in her mind. "Faith, you never mentioned there were gunmen. I thought that someone skipped out with out paying their check. So I took my time responding."
"You and Davis didn't…."
Before she can finish her statement he jumps in. "No. Not Davis. He had nothing to do with it. He wasn't in the car. He didn't hear the call and I didn't tell him. Not until I realized the call was for real." He looks at her pleadingly. "You've got to believe that I feel terrible. If I could do it all over again… God Faith. I wish it was me that got hurt. I just can't live with what I did."
"Maybe you better leave." She says softly. She looks hurt and betrayed.
"Faith, please. Don't hate me. I can't even explain how bad I feel. I will never do anything like that again. To anyone. I realize how important being a cop is to me now and I know that I jeopardized that. I've been a screw up lately, but if you could just believe that this has changed me…"
"Why are you here Sully? What do you want from me? You want me to say it's ok, what you did?"
"I want you to understand it's human nature to be angry at someone and not want to do them any favors. I want to be the cop that I used to be. I am going to start caring again, about what I do and the people that I do it for. But I can't if you don't forgive me. Faith, you and Davis are the only people who's opinion matter to me, and Davis said he can forgive what I did, if you can. And if you don't, he's dropping me as a partner and reporting what I did. My career will be over. I'll die if I don't have this."
"Get out Sully. I can't talk to you about this. Just leave."
"No. Please, just try to understand. I was trying to teach you a lesson about turning your back on your partner. I wanted you to work alone, that's why I didn't answer the backup call. Not because I thought you were in any danger or because I wanted you to be hurt."
Tears form in her eyes now and she says, "Everyday I fight with my husband about this job. He says it's too dangerous and I tell him I'm safe because we have each other's backs. And then Bosco turns his back on me every time Cruz pops up, and now you turn your back on me out of spite. Maybe Fred's right. I can't help you to get into your job again. I can't fix your guilt. I might not come back myself. Just leave me alone now."
"Faith, if you make me leave, and don't forgive me, you'll be sentencing me to death."
"Isn't that almost what you did to me?"
[Back at the precinct]
Bosco walks in about an hour earlier than usual. As he walks by the desk, Lieutenant Swerski does a double take. "Boscarelli, What is going on?"
Bosco looks over, "What Lieu?"
"What are you doing here?"
"I came in early. Cruz said if I get my reports done, I could work ACU and help catch the guys that shot Faith."
That sounded feasible. "Ok, go on. But is isn't OT for you."
Bosco reads the report and double checks it before placing it on Cruz's desk. On his way out he runs into her. "Serge, I got those reports done."
She walks past him without looking up. "Good, it's about time." She notices he is still standing in the doorway. "Somethin else?" She asks.
"I wanted to work ACU for a while. To help catch those guys that robbed the diner."
She scowls at him but then her attitude changes. "Ok Boscarelli. Come with me."
He gives a surprised little smile and says, "Where are we going?"
"To your girlfriend Yokas' place. She hasn't filed a report on the robbery, and her statement and description from the hospital was sub-standard."
"She was hurt really bad." Bosco offers.
"I'm aware. But you know how I hate loose ends. We'll get her statement and then we'll go catch these guys." And as she walks on she adds, "And we can show Yokas how to arrest a bad guy."
[Back at Faith's house]
After Sully left, Faith laid down but couldn't sleep. She was very upset and his actions left her feeling uneasy. His reasoning of just human nature; being mad at her, therefore not responding to her call for help, was unacceptable. At least, not for a cop on the job. It is always frightening when you have to draw your weapon in a situation, but there is some security in knowing that the whole force is behind you. It scares her think that this may have happened in the past, someone pissed at her or who don't really like her, or just doesn't know her…and didn't respond quickly. And she went in assuming she had backup…and really didn't.
Her head is throbbing hard so she takes a few pain killers and lays down. But she can't shut her mind off. She really is thinking that Fred may be right. This job, that she loves, is not all that she imagines it is. The one person she could rely on, her partner, is only there for her when the situation is desperate. When Cruz walks in, he drops her like she isn't important. Human nature. He is infatuated with Cruz and her anti crime unit. And even yesterday he came to her, wanting to be partners again, after she got hurt. She told him to give ACU another try and he did…that easy. Her world is falling apart. And the security she felt in that world, is melting away, and so is she, as the pain pills finally kick in.
About twenty minutes into her sleep, there is a pounding on the door. She is startled awake and tries to sit up, but pain shoots through her, forcing her to lay back down. She is disoriented and calls for Fred. The pounding comes again and there is no response from Fred so she lifts herself off the couch gently. "I'm coming, give me a minute." She looks through he peek hole and sees Bosco and Cruz. "Shit…it's good cop, bad cop."
She opens the door and moans, "What is it?"
"Are you alright? You look terrible." Bosco says.
"I was asleep. I took some pain pills."
"We need to get a statement from you. You didn't give us much information at the hospital." Cruz says as she searches the apartment with her eyes.
"I don't remember giving you any information at the hospital." She says confused.
"We can come back later if you don't feel up to it." Bosco says with concern.
"No, lets do it." She says opening the door.
Cruz walks in, puts her hands on her hips and twist, looking all around like she is casing the place. "So why don't you tell us how you first noticed the diner was being robbed."
"I noticed the three guys on the sidewalk. They were up to something. They were waiting for me to leave, so I drove up the street and parked. They looked suspicious as they went into the diner so I called it in as a
10-30."
"You mean a possible 10-30." Cruz interjects.
"Right…I walked up to the diner and looked in, saw the robbery and called for back up." She isn't sure what she is going to say about Sully.
"So you never saw a gun until you went in?"
"Yah…I mean no…I saw the gun while I was waiting for backup."
"So why didn't you radio in that the perps were armed?"
Faith shakes her head, confused. "I did call it in."
"No officer Yokas…you didn't. I listened to your radio communications. In fact, you didn't verify that is was a real 10-30. You didn't verify that there were weapons. You didn't inform anyone how many perps there were or how many vics there were." Leaning in closer, "And you didn't wait for your back up. You're very lucky to be alive."
Faith looks completely baffled. Bosco realizes now, why Cruz brought him along. She came here to make Faith look stupid and she wanted to do it in front of him. He tries to help her, "Faith, you look like you need some rest. We should…"
Cruz cuts him off. "I'm gonna hafta put this in the report, unless you have something more to add on your behalf."
Faith tries to remember what happened but she can't think straight. Images keep popping in and out of her mind. Walking to the diner...calling for back-up…talking with Sully…waiting forever for backup…the waitress getting beaten…and stepping inside, and realizing they had an automatic weapon. The details in between won't come. She starts to feel dizzy and wishes they would leave.
"How about the perps? What can you tell me about them?"
Faith tries to clear her head but it's like she is trying to run through mud. She pictures the one guy on the sidewalk with his back to her, another one walking in and out of view from the doorway, and the third guy…he is just a blurry image behind an automatic weapon that is flashing at her. She realizes Cruz just asked her something but Faith doesn't know what she said. She nods yes, then looks at Bosco, and the look on his face tells her that was the wrong answer. She gives Bosco a look that means help, and he understands.
"That's enough. She isn't up to this. We'll come back when your off the medication." Bosco says, coming to her rescue.
"Ok. You don't want to screw this up too." Cruz says, smirking as she heads to the door.
"Go wait for me at the car, I'll be right down." Bosco says. He then leans over Faith, who is sitting on the couch. She is obviously disoriented and very pale. "Are you all right? Should I call your mom to come over and stay with you?"
"No. I just need to lay down." She lays her head back against the couch and falls asleep sitting up.
Trying not to wake her, Bosco throws a blanket over her and puts a pillow under her head. He glances back once more before he leaves, to be sure that she is alright.
[Later]
Bosco is riding with Cruz. She is telling some story that he isn't really listening to. He is thinking about Faith, and what Cruz did, and he is a little pissed at her so he isn't speaking much. The radio crackles to life. Central calls Cruz to respond to a call from Candy, an officer on foot patrol. He has caught one of their perps from the robbery.
Bosco responds that they are on their way.
They pull up to the sidewalk, to find Candy talking crap to a young man lying face down on the sidewalk, hands cuffed behind his back. Bosco climbs out of the car and says, "What is this, trash day?"
Candy retorts with, "I ran into this dirt bag when I came out of the diner." He nudges the guy with his foot and says loudly as he leans down to him. "My favorite diner." He looks back to Bosco, "There were three of them casing the place. I recognized them from the morning flier. I grabbed this one, the others ran off."
"Ok, this jag-off is a good place to start. We'll get his buddies when he rolls on them. Nice job Candy."
[Back at Faith's apartment]
Faith wakes up to a dark apartment, with the phone ringing. She sits up and turns the light on, and as she answers the phone, she sees a note from Fred. He took the kids out for burgers, and he left her a sandwich in the fridge. She answers the phone and a familiar voice says, "Faith, how are you feeling?" It's the Lieutenant.
"I'm really sore but I'm doing ok. I've been sleeping a lot."
"Well good, get all the rest you can. We need you in tip-top shape when you come back. I called because Cruz brought in one of the suspects from the robbery. They are putting together a line up. I thought if you were up to it, you'd want to come down."
There is a long silence as Faith thinks, 'shit…Cruz had be the one to catch him'.
"If you're not up to it, that's ok. We have plenty of people from the diner comen in tonight. I just used this as an excuse to call and see how you were feeling."
"No, I'd like to. I need to get up for a while. Can you send someone to pick me up? Could you send Sully?"
"Sure. I'll radio him to come and get you as soon as he's freed up."
She hags up and thinks about Sully. According to Cruz, Sully was right, she didn't radio in that there were weapons, or anything important. Her mind is clear now, and she remembers being so intent on backup coming, that she never radioed in the details. She remembers only trying to urge Sully to hurry. No wonder he didn't put a lot of importance on the call. She is feeling so unsure of herself, so wrong, that she decides to listen to Fred, save her marriage and herself, and quit this job. She can't seem to keep a partner, and she'll never be able to trust anyone. And there's no point in taking Sully out with her.
Sully and Davis pull up in front of Faith's apartment and she is waiting out front. Davis gets out and helps her over to the car. "Davis, I want to thank you for helping me when I was hurt. I never got the chance to say that."
"No problem. I'm just glad that I was there. I'm glad you're ok."
She gets into the back seat and Sully is looking at her nervously in the mirror. She can see the worry in his eyes, as he keeps glancing at her. Finally she says, "Listen…I went over what happened in my head. I realize now that I screwed up." She looks up and sees Sully is still looking pretty nervous, and Davis has turned, facing her in the back seat.
"Sully talked to you right? Told you how it happened?"
"Yah…I don't agree with what he did…but…I know now that I really didn't call it in right. I didn't give any information at all really. I didn't make it clear that I was in danger, and if you guys had responded, you probably would have both been hurt too."
She is surprised that sully doesn't look relieved, but Davis smiles big and says, "Ok then. I guess we'll all learn from this, right?"
[They arrive at the precinct]
Davis and Sully help Faith slowly climb the stairs to where they have the line up. As they turn up the hallway with the window, that looks into the room with the line, they see Bosco and Cruz at the end of the hall. He is leaning with his back against the wall, and she is leaning with her chest against his. She is talking to him with her face against his, about what plans she has for them after work tonight, and she is playfully pecking kisses on his face in between words.
"I'm sorry, we were looking for the line up, not the pick up." Sully says sarcastically.
Bosco, startled by the fact that someone is watching, pushes her away quickly. She hangs on to his over shirt for a few seconds longer before she walks over to the window. "Yokas, I heard you were coming down but I didn't actually think you'd show. Are you sure you can remember what you saw?"
Faith doesn't answer her as she walks up to the window. The D.A. walks up the stairs, reading over some papers. She looks at Faith and says, "Are you officer Yokas?" Faith nods and the D.A. asks if she's ready. She nods again. The light is flipped on and Faith picks out number three.
"Number three! Are you sure?" Cruz says, insinuating that she picked the wrong guy.
Faith looks again, feeling a little unsure, but then says, "Yes. I'm sure. Number three." As she turns back towards the stairs, Cruz says out loud, purposefully for Faith to hear, "Bosco, we should have this case wrapped up by the end of the week. Then we can move on to more dangerous cases." She wants to be sure Faith knows that Bosco is staying in ACU.
[Music starts playing. It is Don Henley's "Forgiveness"]
Faith is walking by the lieutenant at the front desk.
[I got the call today, I didn't want to hear. But I knew that it would come.
An old true friend of ours was talking on the phone. She says you found someone.]
Bosco watches from the top of the stairs as Faith walks out of the building. Cruz is talking to him but he isn't listening.
[Then I thought of all the bad luck, and the struggles we went through.
And how I lost me and you lost you.
What are these voices, outside love's open door.
Make us throw off our contentment, and beg for something more.
I'm learning to live without you now. But I miss you sometimes.]
Sully walks over and gets into the driver's seat.
[The more I know, the less I understand. The things I thought I knew, I have to learn again.]
Faith wraps her jacket tight around herself as Davis holds the car door open for her.
[I've been tryen to get down, to the heart of the matter. But my will gets weak, and my thoughts seem to scatter.]
Sully watches Faith get into the backseat slowly.
[But I think it's about, Forgiveness, Forgiveness. Even if, even if, you don't love me anymore.]
Cruz grabs Bosco's over shirt and turns him towards her.
[Ah, these times are so uncertain, there's a yearning undefined, and people filled with rage.]
Bosco puts his hands around her waist.
[We all need a little tenderness, how can love survive, in such a graceless age.]
Faith lays her head back against the seat.
[Trust and self assurance, that leads to happiness, their the very things, we kill I guess.]
Bosco is smiling and talking to Cruz.
[Pride and competition can not fill these empty arms. And the work I put between us, ya know it doesn't keep me warm.]
Faith turns and looks sadly out the window at the precinct.
[I'm learning to live without you now. But I miss you baby.]
Sully starts the car and pulls away.
[The more I know, the less I understand. All the things I thought I'd figured out, I have to learn again.]
Davis is smiling and talking to Sully.
[I've been tryen to get down, to the heart of the matter. But my flesh will get weak, and the ashes will scatter.]
Sully watches Faith in the mirror and she looks up and sees him. Their eyes stay fixed for a second.
[But I think it's about, forgiveness. Forgiveness. Even if, even if, you don't love me anymore.]