Day after day after day, Charlie Jones sat in her fifth-row, second-
hand, uneven-legged school desk, with a look of twisted satisfaction on her
dirt encrusted face. Living in a poverty-stricken home in the middle of a
wealthy suburb wasn't exactly the ideal, warm growing environment for a
young girl. Her tiny hands rested atop her desk, one with a pencil in hand,
swiftly scribbling across a loose-leaf page.
Charlie was a smart girl. A petite, aloof, smart girl. While every other twelve year old girl in her class was worrying about boys, clothes, and nail decals, Charlie was busy watching her five younger brother's and sisters. While the other girls went out to the park to play, Charlie was busy monotonously working on her homework, in desperation for a better future. While all the other girls were reading Seventeen magazine, Charlie was busy helping her mom. And while all the other girls were dreading "spending quality time" with their dads, Charlie was busy dreaming about her dad.
Bryan Jones wasn't always the man he "mutated" to, eventually causing his death. Bryan was a decent hardworking man, until he got involved with the wrong people, and eventually got heaved into their problems. Drugs, gangs, drinking, so on and so forth. Charlie would pretend that Bryan was kidnapped. Charlie would pretend that he was locked up in a dungeon, waiting for Charlie and mommy to come to his rescue. Then in the pit of Charlie's hunger-incapacitated stomach, she knew this was not so. Bryan Jones was dead for a year now, and that was that.
He used to be a public school teacher, which wasn't reeling in millions, but it still brought home the bacon. Charlie knew her father was perfect. Deep down. She just always expected so much of him, that his best was his worst and his worst was a fate worse than death. And when he died, Charlie didn't have the brain capacity to take in that her father was gone for good.
Now, Bryan is as much as a fantasy to her as Cinderella. Charlie pretends to be Cinderella. She knows that there is a Prince Charming out there, galloping to her on his gallant steed, ready to take her away to Kingdom Come. And then one half of her brain is telling her that this is not so, and she is doomed for eternity. Which is something she picked up from her mother.
Abigail Jones is Charlie's mother. She was always a realist, noting that the glass is half full and half empty. Because that's just how the glass is. Abby was a fiery girl, with Heaven in her eyes and the Inferno in her mouth. So spontaneous, so impulsive, and so aggressive. Only Bryan could tame her inner fire. And that's what was so perfect about the match. Bryan's vigilant, calm, and loving nature made up for Abby's ardent passion and intuitiveness. After Bryan's sudden and tragic death, everything went downhill. Abby found herself a widow at the age of thirty-five. But to Abby, Bryan was dead long before his actual passing away. Bryan was dead once he got mixed up with the wrong people.
Abby couldn't live without Bryan. And this was her ultimate demise. Suddenly, the strong, zealous mother that Charlie once had was gone. When Bryan died, he took Abby along with him. Because now, Abby would spend her days in bed, crying her eyes out until there was nothing left to cry. She was Charlie's own little statue of a hungry, agonizing woman, nothing but skin and bones, and a freakishly pale complexion. Abby was a ghost, dragging in her perpetual despair, waiting for the leak in her ceiling to deteriorate her away to nothingness. Abby was breathing, Abby's bowl was moving, Abby's heart was beating, but Abby was dead.
Now, Charlie on the other hand had her mother's strength, but not her stubbornness. She also had Bryan's determination. Strength and determination was always a good combination, and it seemed so for Charlie as well. Salt her wounds and she'd keep saying, "Thank you." Life had delivered Charlie an entire truckload of cow manure with no return address, and what did Charlie do? She used it for compost.
So maybe one day Charlie would go to Harvard and become a renowned lawyer. Or maybe Charlie would drop out of school and become a prostitute. Or maybe Charlie would become a housewife. But wherever Charlie ended up in life, it still wouldn't be easy. Nothing was easy for anybody. And there's no way in heaven or hell that Charlie would overcome every obstacle that came her way, and she knew it. Deep down, she knew that she had lost everything, but from loosing it, she only gained more strength and more of Abby's old fiery nature and more of Bryan's old determination. Charlie knew both of them ended up gone, mentally at least, but it wasn't something to loose her own life over at such an early stage. Sooner or later in everyone's life they'd face the bitter end, and wonder what the point of all that torture was. Charlie didn't know either, understanding that she was as good as dead just as she was born. Just as Charlie took her first breath, Charlie would also take her last breath. And as will anyone and everyone else. It's not something to mull over, it's more or less something to think of as a warning. Because someday, everyone will fall, but do they want to be falling their entire lives instead of just one part? Instead of just the end? This can only lead to one lesson: to never let anything pass you by at such an early stage. Bryan made a mistake, and because of his mistake, Abby make a mistake. Abby had no will to go on. Abby didn't see beyond Bryan's death. She could, but she wouldn't. And that refusal to understand that everything passes was her doom. Everyone makes mistakes, and mistakes eventually lead to our destruction, mentally or physically. It's not something anyone can prevent, it's only something that a person can understand.
Some people when realizing this wallow in their misery and wonder what the purpose is. Others pretend that none of these problems exist, and that if you become the eternal optimist, everything will be leveled to perfection. Then, certain privileged others, the realists, understand the ups and downs, acclimatize, and live on perceptively, but not too much so. Bryan didn't know. Abby did. Charlie knows. But Charlie will be the only one of the three to thrive. Because Charlie knows the key. Sit back with knowing eyes. Adapt. Live.
Charlie was a smart girl. A petite, aloof, smart girl. While every other twelve year old girl in her class was worrying about boys, clothes, and nail decals, Charlie was busy watching her five younger brother's and sisters. While the other girls went out to the park to play, Charlie was busy monotonously working on her homework, in desperation for a better future. While all the other girls were reading Seventeen magazine, Charlie was busy helping her mom. And while all the other girls were dreading "spending quality time" with their dads, Charlie was busy dreaming about her dad.
Bryan Jones wasn't always the man he "mutated" to, eventually causing his death. Bryan was a decent hardworking man, until he got involved with the wrong people, and eventually got heaved into their problems. Drugs, gangs, drinking, so on and so forth. Charlie would pretend that Bryan was kidnapped. Charlie would pretend that he was locked up in a dungeon, waiting for Charlie and mommy to come to his rescue. Then in the pit of Charlie's hunger-incapacitated stomach, she knew this was not so. Bryan Jones was dead for a year now, and that was that.
He used to be a public school teacher, which wasn't reeling in millions, but it still brought home the bacon. Charlie knew her father was perfect. Deep down. She just always expected so much of him, that his best was his worst and his worst was a fate worse than death. And when he died, Charlie didn't have the brain capacity to take in that her father was gone for good.
Now, Bryan is as much as a fantasy to her as Cinderella. Charlie pretends to be Cinderella. She knows that there is a Prince Charming out there, galloping to her on his gallant steed, ready to take her away to Kingdom Come. And then one half of her brain is telling her that this is not so, and she is doomed for eternity. Which is something she picked up from her mother.
Abigail Jones is Charlie's mother. She was always a realist, noting that the glass is half full and half empty. Because that's just how the glass is. Abby was a fiery girl, with Heaven in her eyes and the Inferno in her mouth. So spontaneous, so impulsive, and so aggressive. Only Bryan could tame her inner fire. And that's what was so perfect about the match. Bryan's vigilant, calm, and loving nature made up for Abby's ardent passion and intuitiveness. After Bryan's sudden and tragic death, everything went downhill. Abby found herself a widow at the age of thirty-five. But to Abby, Bryan was dead long before his actual passing away. Bryan was dead once he got mixed up with the wrong people.
Abby couldn't live without Bryan. And this was her ultimate demise. Suddenly, the strong, zealous mother that Charlie once had was gone. When Bryan died, he took Abby along with him. Because now, Abby would spend her days in bed, crying her eyes out until there was nothing left to cry. She was Charlie's own little statue of a hungry, agonizing woman, nothing but skin and bones, and a freakishly pale complexion. Abby was a ghost, dragging in her perpetual despair, waiting for the leak in her ceiling to deteriorate her away to nothingness. Abby was breathing, Abby's bowl was moving, Abby's heart was beating, but Abby was dead.
Now, Charlie on the other hand had her mother's strength, but not her stubbornness. She also had Bryan's determination. Strength and determination was always a good combination, and it seemed so for Charlie as well. Salt her wounds and she'd keep saying, "Thank you." Life had delivered Charlie an entire truckload of cow manure with no return address, and what did Charlie do? She used it for compost.
So maybe one day Charlie would go to Harvard and become a renowned lawyer. Or maybe Charlie would drop out of school and become a prostitute. Or maybe Charlie would become a housewife. But wherever Charlie ended up in life, it still wouldn't be easy. Nothing was easy for anybody. And there's no way in heaven or hell that Charlie would overcome every obstacle that came her way, and she knew it. Deep down, she knew that she had lost everything, but from loosing it, she only gained more strength and more of Abby's old fiery nature and more of Bryan's old determination. Charlie knew both of them ended up gone, mentally at least, but it wasn't something to loose her own life over at such an early stage. Sooner or later in everyone's life they'd face the bitter end, and wonder what the point of all that torture was. Charlie didn't know either, understanding that she was as good as dead just as she was born. Just as Charlie took her first breath, Charlie would also take her last breath. And as will anyone and everyone else. It's not something to mull over, it's more or less something to think of as a warning. Because someday, everyone will fall, but do they want to be falling their entire lives instead of just one part? Instead of just the end? This can only lead to one lesson: to never let anything pass you by at such an early stage. Bryan made a mistake, and because of his mistake, Abby make a mistake. Abby had no will to go on. Abby didn't see beyond Bryan's death. She could, but she wouldn't. And that refusal to understand that everything passes was her doom. Everyone makes mistakes, and mistakes eventually lead to our destruction, mentally or physically. It's not something anyone can prevent, it's only something that a person can understand.
Some people when realizing this wallow in their misery and wonder what the purpose is. Others pretend that none of these problems exist, and that if you become the eternal optimist, everything will be leveled to perfection. Then, certain privileged others, the realists, understand the ups and downs, acclimatize, and live on perceptively, but not too much so. Bryan didn't know. Abby did. Charlie knows. But Charlie will be the only one of the three to thrive. Because Charlie knows the key. Sit back with knowing eyes. Adapt. Live.