parte nueve
[i]Joey's Pizza Specials[/I]
I looked over the note again and again but there was nothing else there. "Damnit, Vaughn!" I yelled. The crumpled envelope found itself in the middle of the road, where it was soon reduced to shreds by angry drivers. "What the hell is your problem?" A man in the car next to me looked over and flipped me off. I would have gladly kicked his ass, but I had things to do. People to see. One person in particular. How cute of him to use our little codename. Bet he felt special about it. Good for him. He can feel special. He deserves to feel special. Yeah, special my ass. One the note of special, though, that was another cute little codename to say we should meet at the gym. That was good. We could "discuss" things while I pummeled him. Yes. That would be fun. And now I'm scaring myself. However, scary or not, I need to have a little "talk" with Mr.Vaughn. Because of him, my life has now gone from screwed to completely and hopelessly impossible. I turn on the radio. It's some classical station playing "The Nutcracker"- Will was in my car last. The music was smooth and calming. unfortunately, I was wild and dangerous. I threw my pager at it. The music shut off. What a great reinforcement to the old phrase "violence doesn't solve anything." Yeah, well sleeping with your co-worker doesn't either. [i]Marrying[i/] your co-worker defenitly doesn't get you anywhere. And that nagging feeling that I really don't regret anything was probably least helpful of all. And plowing through traffic, I slowly begin to realize that although driving drunk is dangerous, driving drunk on adrenaline is insanely mad. You have to remind yourself every three seconds that taking out your anger on the drivers in gridlock won't help you. Finally, traffic began moving again and I exited onto the road that would ultimately lead to my destination. I wasn't sure if I really wanted to be there. After all, the person I was about to meet just screwed up my job, lost my best friend, and made my second chance on love impossible. The fact that I've been resorted to thinking like I'm in some sappy romantic comedy just adds to the heat welling up inside. All the wrath, outrage, exasperation I've been letting roast inside me has finally sent me over the edge. I seriously need to blow off some steam. The gym would be good for that. A positive way to take out anger. But still, I get so damn tired of that same punching bag. It just stays there, swings back at me so I can hit it again. It never fights back. It doesn't deserve my ever inclining madness. Only one person does. Myself.
The gym was packed today. Dozens of people swarmed around, looking for places to work out. I walked out of the men's locker room and sat over at a bench beside the mat. I watched as a father and son finished up in a kick boxing lesson. They left hand in hand, smiling at each other. Good to know some people in this world can still be happy.
I watched the doors until I saw her walk in. She had that sexy I-just- got-up look to her, but as she approached I could see the fire sparkling intensely in her eyes. She looked ready to kill someone. I had a bad feeling that someone was me. "Why did you bring me here?" She asked in a low voice, pretending to strech with me. "I need to talk to you." "Yeah, ok, tell me again why you brought me here?" "Sydney..." "Look, Michael, I don't want that Sydney bull-shit. I don't want any of your bull-shit, so if you have something to say I suggest you get to the point." I stumbled back a step. Her eyes burned a hole into mine. I tried to say something but couldn't get the words out. "Ok, since you seem to be short on everything but bs, I'll give you an offer- we fight. If I win, I leave, and you get me a new handler and stay out of my life. If you win, you can tell me whatever the hell you brought me here for. Deal?" My eyes darkened. "Sorry, I think the deal is if you win you get the car, and if I win I get to sleep with you." She glared at me. "Good thing I'll win then." She walked out onto the mat and lowered her eyes when she saw I wasn't following her. "I could leave now. I'm at least giving you a chance. Hell, I'll even give you an advantage. One hand behind my back." Her left hand disappeared. I got up and walked over to her. I began walking over to her. "What the hell do you think you're doing here, Sydney. I hate these games!" She responded by aiming a punch at my face. I blocked it and held her hand. She whipped out her left leg and knocked me off my feet. Her hand twisted out of my grasp. I hit the mat and she leaned over me, then pulled my up by the sides of my shirt so I was face to face with her. The heat was overwhelming. "Hit me." She demanded. I threw a feeble punch, which she blocked easily. "I'm not playing games here, Michael. If you don't hit me now I will bring you down and walk out of here. Feel lucky I'm in such a good mood, and fight like you were trained." "Both hands." I spit back at her. She threw her left hand out from behind her back and aimed it at my stomach. I easily blocked it, and the punch that she threw with her right hand. She twisted both hands and kicked me in the stomach. I took a step back and she stayed where she was, obviously waiting for me to attack. I walked a step closer to her. "Sydney, this is craz-" She threw her left foot out, almost catching me in the side again. Instead I caught it and shoved her backwards. She maintained balance and blocked the three punches I threw at her, finally catching the last one and twisting my hand around. "My name.." She muttered darkly, bringing a hand around to lock my other shoulder so I couldn't use my arm. "Is Agent.." She kicked me in the stomach- hard- and brought me to my knees. From there she let go of my hands and took my moment of confusion to pin my shoulders down to the mat. Her legs wrapped around my waist and I found myself pinned under her. "Bristow." She finished, her eyes glowing with fire. "Well, Agent Bristow." I murmured. "I've imagined this before but not exactly under these circumstances." Her eyes flickered for an instant, and I took the moment to flip myself on top of her. "But I prefer to be on top." Her glare deepened, then quickly disappeared with a new, un-readable emotion I had only seen in glimmers before. She reached her head off the mat in a smooth motion until her face was merely inches away from mine. Her eyes stared straight into mine, and for a second they over-powered me. I tore my gaze away, but she remained in her position. "I think I'll you a story, Mr.Vaughn." She said. "But I'd prefer to be on top." "No, I think the deal said being on top gave me the chance to spew out my bull-shit." "Ah, of course." She replied, her face still set in that placid expression. She moved closer to me and drew her tongue across my lips. I weakened for a second, but that second was all she needed to flip me back over. As I looked back into her eyes, I could see the fire sprung back within them. She did not seem to be affected by what she just did at all. "Correct. Now, on with my story. Are you listening?" She took one of her hands of my shoulder and pulled my face back to face hers. I was about to move my arm before she pinned it again. I avoided her eyes as she went on. "This is the story of the two happy, screwed up people. Once upon a time, there was a girl named Anne and a guy named Matt." Her eyes flashed. Anne and Matt... "Have you ever heard the story of Anne and Matt?" I glared at her. "Good. The ending will be a killer, then." She grinned, but in a scary sadistic sort of way. "Well, Anne and Matt were good friends, but their lives were both fucked up. Majorally. Anne had considered suicide more then a regular person should. Matt attempted to drown his problems with booze and temporary girlfriends." She stopped and her eyes glazed over for a second. She looked in between killing me and crying on my pinned down shoulder, until she realized I was staring and snapped back to her vicious grin. "Well, one day Matt and Anne took a little trip, to, say, I don't know, Vegas." Her grin suddenly disappeared. The almost distant crazed hatred took over and suddenly I realized this had to be serious. "Well, after their work in Vegas was over, they took a little trip to the bar. It was, say, eight or nine at night." Her look changed again to a distinct expression of outrage mixed with a deep emotion that looked almost like longing. "Now, you have to understand the relationship between Anne and Matt. It was sort of like a love/hate kind of thing. She trusted him and was the first person she ever could, but she hated him for having a girlfriend and always holding back, being so up-tight. Matt cared for her, too, but already had a girlfriend who he apparently loved, and was held back by restrictions which he had vowed his life to. They would have fights, but also late-night talks. There were mis-understandings but also deep understandings they both had never had before. In fact, the first time she saw him she thought he was married." She tried to laugh but her voice cracked half-way. I almost laughed, until I thought about what she just said... (Did you have a fight with your wife?) (Wife, I have no wife) (That woman in the picture, I thought you two were married.) Sydney's eyes flashed darkly as recognition flashed in mine. Her death grip on my shoulders loosened but fear was glazing me over. I pretended I didn't know what she was talking about in case it was all just my mind playing tricks on me, but it was impossible to ignore her voice- the anger and sadness reflected in her tone captivated me and scared me at the same time. "Well, at the bar in Vegas they had a special drink- The Vegas Special, that's what it was called." "No." I whispered. "Now, this drink had some strange capability. It distorted your senses, made them clearer in a way. Showed you what you really wanted." I shook my head, muttering 'this can't be happening' over and over to myself. But she continued. "Now, when Matt and Anne came to this state of mind called intoxication, they looked at each other and something clicked. Forgetting all about work, all about rules, all about [i]sanity[/I], they decided to prove their new-found love to each other in a non-animalistic manner. Five minutes and a make-shift Vegas chapel later, their bond was sealed." Her face was distant, close to tears. "You're lying!" I practically yelled. My calm state of mind had drifted slowly to insanity, but this had pushed me over the edge. "Shut up! Just shut up! That's not true!" Her calm voice managed to speak over me. "After the wedding, the happy couple went and had passionate sex." "Shut up!" I yelled. I needed my hands to cover my ears, this wasn't happening, she was lying, lying, she was lying and no this couldn't have been true it was all a dream a dream and god I'm living in a nightmare... "And they lived happily ever after. Until six in the morning, however, when Anne woke up and left. Realizing her mistake, she sent a maid to lie in bed with her un-remembered husband. She hoped he would mistake the maid for her since he had been drinking that night." "Sydney, no..." I whispered desperately. This couldn't be happening, this wasn't real.. "She slowly remembered everything that happened, everything. So when she met with him, or saw him, or thought of him, it drove her insane because he didn't remember a thing. And she was forced to watch him and listen to him and smiled at him and nod and pretended everything wasn't so fucked up and pretend she didn't know how much she wanted him. Pretend she hadn't fallen in love with him. Pretend she wasn't his [i]wife[/I]." "Stop, Sydney, please, stop, stop, please Sydney..." She was crying now, and her tears slid down her cheeks and slowly dripped down to land on mine. But this was all a dream, she was lying, she was making it up, she was trying to mess with me, she was- "And every time she even thought of him she lost her mind. She even contemplated suicide. She, in one night, had potentially lost her job, her love, her best friend, and ultimately her life. She had screwed up the one thing she found worth it to live for." Her eyes were red and the tears didn't stop coming. By now all sense of control had been relinquished, we were just sitting there, lost in desperation, crying tearlessly in our own insane little worlds. "Do you want to know the ending?" I shook my head no, but I knew it didn't matter. "They both died unhappy and heart-broken. Somewhere they lost them selves and never were able to re-claim what they had. Their mistake drove them insane." Her eyes were completely red and her face was the saddest and most horrifying thing I had seen in my entire life-time. She looked lost and afraid. And alone. "So now you're going to have to understand why I need a new handler. Why I need to walk out of here forever. Why I need to walk away from you forever. I can't do this any longer, Michael. This, this life, it's killing me. I can't do this anymore." She bent down and kissed me once, then looked into my eyes and seemed to fade. "Goodbye, Michael." She whispered, then left the gym. I stayed lying down on the mat and allowed a tear to run down my cheek. When I drove home, I was more lost then ever. Somewhere in those five minutes she used to tell me what was wrong, somewhere in those five minutes she over-powered me and was vulnerable to me at the same time, somewhere in those five minutes that she told me everything I lost myself to her forever.
[i]Joey's Pizza Specials[/I]
I looked over the note again and again but there was nothing else there. "Damnit, Vaughn!" I yelled. The crumpled envelope found itself in the middle of the road, where it was soon reduced to shreds by angry drivers. "What the hell is your problem?" A man in the car next to me looked over and flipped me off. I would have gladly kicked his ass, but I had things to do. People to see. One person in particular. How cute of him to use our little codename. Bet he felt special about it. Good for him. He can feel special. He deserves to feel special. Yeah, special my ass. One the note of special, though, that was another cute little codename to say we should meet at the gym. That was good. We could "discuss" things while I pummeled him. Yes. That would be fun. And now I'm scaring myself. However, scary or not, I need to have a little "talk" with Mr.Vaughn. Because of him, my life has now gone from screwed to completely and hopelessly impossible. I turn on the radio. It's some classical station playing "The Nutcracker"- Will was in my car last. The music was smooth and calming. unfortunately, I was wild and dangerous. I threw my pager at it. The music shut off. What a great reinforcement to the old phrase "violence doesn't solve anything." Yeah, well sleeping with your co-worker doesn't either. [i]Marrying[i/] your co-worker defenitly doesn't get you anywhere. And that nagging feeling that I really don't regret anything was probably least helpful of all. And plowing through traffic, I slowly begin to realize that although driving drunk is dangerous, driving drunk on adrenaline is insanely mad. You have to remind yourself every three seconds that taking out your anger on the drivers in gridlock won't help you. Finally, traffic began moving again and I exited onto the road that would ultimately lead to my destination. I wasn't sure if I really wanted to be there. After all, the person I was about to meet just screwed up my job, lost my best friend, and made my second chance on love impossible. The fact that I've been resorted to thinking like I'm in some sappy romantic comedy just adds to the heat welling up inside. All the wrath, outrage, exasperation I've been letting roast inside me has finally sent me over the edge. I seriously need to blow off some steam. The gym would be good for that. A positive way to take out anger. But still, I get so damn tired of that same punching bag. It just stays there, swings back at me so I can hit it again. It never fights back. It doesn't deserve my ever inclining madness. Only one person does. Myself.
The gym was packed today. Dozens of people swarmed around, looking for places to work out. I walked out of the men's locker room and sat over at a bench beside the mat. I watched as a father and son finished up in a kick boxing lesson. They left hand in hand, smiling at each other. Good to know some people in this world can still be happy.
I watched the doors until I saw her walk in. She had that sexy I-just- got-up look to her, but as she approached I could see the fire sparkling intensely in her eyes. She looked ready to kill someone. I had a bad feeling that someone was me. "Why did you bring me here?" She asked in a low voice, pretending to strech with me. "I need to talk to you." "Yeah, ok, tell me again why you brought me here?" "Sydney..." "Look, Michael, I don't want that Sydney bull-shit. I don't want any of your bull-shit, so if you have something to say I suggest you get to the point." I stumbled back a step. Her eyes burned a hole into mine. I tried to say something but couldn't get the words out. "Ok, since you seem to be short on everything but bs, I'll give you an offer- we fight. If I win, I leave, and you get me a new handler and stay out of my life. If you win, you can tell me whatever the hell you brought me here for. Deal?" My eyes darkened. "Sorry, I think the deal is if you win you get the car, and if I win I get to sleep with you." She glared at me. "Good thing I'll win then." She walked out onto the mat and lowered her eyes when she saw I wasn't following her. "I could leave now. I'm at least giving you a chance. Hell, I'll even give you an advantage. One hand behind my back." Her left hand disappeared. I got up and walked over to her. I began walking over to her. "What the hell do you think you're doing here, Sydney. I hate these games!" She responded by aiming a punch at my face. I blocked it and held her hand. She whipped out her left leg and knocked me off my feet. Her hand twisted out of my grasp. I hit the mat and she leaned over me, then pulled my up by the sides of my shirt so I was face to face with her. The heat was overwhelming. "Hit me." She demanded. I threw a feeble punch, which she blocked easily. "I'm not playing games here, Michael. If you don't hit me now I will bring you down and walk out of here. Feel lucky I'm in such a good mood, and fight like you were trained." "Both hands." I spit back at her. She threw her left hand out from behind her back and aimed it at my stomach. I easily blocked it, and the punch that she threw with her right hand. She twisted both hands and kicked me in the stomach. I took a step back and she stayed where she was, obviously waiting for me to attack. I walked a step closer to her. "Sydney, this is craz-" She threw her left foot out, almost catching me in the side again. Instead I caught it and shoved her backwards. She maintained balance and blocked the three punches I threw at her, finally catching the last one and twisting my hand around. "My name.." She muttered darkly, bringing a hand around to lock my other shoulder so I couldn't use my arm. "Is Agent.." She kicked me in the stomach- hard- and brought me to my knees. From there she let go of my hands and took my moment of confusion to pin my shoulders down to the mat. Her legs wrapped around my waist and I found myself pinned under her. "Bristow." She finished, her eyes glowing with fire. "Well, Agent Bristow." I murmured. "I've imagined this before but not exactly under these circumstances." Her eyes flickered for an instant, and I took the moment to flip myself on top of her. "But I prefer to be on top." Her glare deepened, then quickly disappeared with a new, un-readable emotion I had only seen in glimmers before. She reached her head off the mat in a smooth motion until her face was merely inches away from mine. Her eyes stared straight into mine, and for a second they over-powered me. I tore my gaze away, but she remained in her position. "I think I'll you a story, Mr.Vaughn." She said. "But I'd prefer to be on top." "No, I think the deal said being on top gave me the chance to spew out my bull-shit." "Ah, of course." She replied, her face still set in that placid expression. She moved closer to me and drew her tongue across my lips. I weakened for a second, but that second was all she needed to flip me back over. As I looked back into her eyes, I could see the fire sprung back within them. She did not seem to be affected by what she just did at all. "Correct. Now, on with my story. Are you listening?" She took one of her hands of my shoulder and pulled my face back to face hers. I was about to move my arm before she pinned it again. I avoided her eyes as she went on. "This is the story of the two happy, screwed up people. Once upon a time, there was a girl named Anne and a guy named Matt." Her eyes flashed. Anne and Matt... "Have you ever heard the story of Anne and Matt?" I glared at her. "Good. The ending will be a killer, then." She grinned, but in a scary sadistic sort of way. "Well, Anne and Matt were good friends, but their lives were both fucked up. Majorally. Anne had considered suicide more then a regular person should. Matt attempted to drown his problems with booze and temporary girlfriends." She stopped and her eyes glazed over for a second. She looked in between killing me and crying on my pinned down shoulder, until she realized I was staring and snapped back to her vicious grin. "Well, one day Matt and Anne took a little trip, to, say, I don't know, Vegas." Her grin suddenly disappeared. The almost distant crazed hatred took over and suddenly I realized this had to be serious. "Well, after their work in Vegas was over, they took a little trip to the bar. It was, say, eight or nine at night." Her look changed again to a distinct expression of outrage mixed with a deep emotion that looked almost like longing. "Now, you have to understand the relationship between Anne and Matt. It was sort of like a love/hate kind of thing. She trusted him and was the first person she ever could, but she hated him for having a girlfriend and always holding back, being so up-tight. Matt cared for her, too, but already had a girlfriend who he apparently loved, and was held back by restrictions which he had vowed his life to. They would have fights, but also late-night talks. There were mis-understandings but also deep understandings they both had never had before. In fact, the first time she saw him she thought he was married." She tried to laugh but her voice cracked half-way. I almost laughed, until I thought about what she just said... (Did you have a fight with your wife?) (Wife, I have no wife) (That woman in the picture, I thought you two were married.) Sydney's eyes flashed darkly as recognition flashed in mine. Her death grip on my shoulders loosened but fear was glazing me over. I pretended I didn't know what she was talking about in case it was all just my mind playing tricks on me, but it was impossible to ignore her voice- the anger and sadness reflected in her tone captivated me and scared me at the same time. "Well, at the bar in Vegas they had a special drink- The Vegas Special, that's what it was called." "No." I whispered. "Now, this drink had some strange capability. It distorted your senses, made them clearer in a way. Showed you what you really wanted." I shook my head, muttering 'this can't be happening' over and over to myself. But she continued. "Now, when Matt and Anne came to this state of mind called intoxication, they looked at each other and something clicked. Forgetting all about work, all about rules, all about [i]sanity[/I], they decided to prove their new-found love to each other in a non-animalistic manner. Five minutes and a make-shift Vegas chapel later, their bond was sealed." Her face was distant, close to tears. "You're lying!" I practically yelled. My calm state of mind had drifted slowly to insanity, but this had pushed me over the edge. "Shut up! Just shut up! That's not true!" Her calm voice managed to speak over me. "After the wedding, the happy couple went and had passionate sex." "Shut up!" I yelled. I needed my hands to cover my ears, this wasn't happening, she was lying, lying, she was lying and no this couldn't have been true it was all a dream a dream and god I'm living in a nightmare... "And they lived happily ever after. Until six in the morning, however, when Anne woke up and left. Realizing her mistake, she sent a maid to lie in bed with her un-remembered husband. She hoped he would mistake the maid for her since he had been drinking that night." "Sydney, no..." I whispered desperately. This couldn't be happening, this wasn't real.. "She slowly remembered everything that happened, everything. So when she met with him, or saw him, or thought of him, it drove her insane because he didn't remember a thing. And she was forced to watch him and listen to him and smiled at him and nod and pretended everything wasn't so fucked up and pretend she didn't know how much she wanted him. Pretend she hadn't fallen in love with him. Pretend she wasn't his [i]wife[/I]." "Stop, Sydney, please, stop, stop, please Sydney..." She was crying now, and her tears slid down her cheeks and slowly dripped down to land on mine. But this was all a dream, she was lying, she was making it up, she was trying to mess with me, she was- "And every time she even thought of him she lost her mind. She even contemplated suicide. She, in one night, had potentially lost her job, her love, her best friend, and ultimately her life. She had screwed up the one thing she found worth it to live for." Her eyes were red and the tears didn't stop coming. By now all sense of control had been relinquished, we were just sitting there, lost in desperation, crying tearlessly in our own insane little worlds. "Do you want to know the ending?" I shook my head no, but I knew it didn't matter. "They both died unhappy and heart-broken. Somewhere they lost them selves and never were able to re-claim what they had. Their mistake drove them insane." Her eyes were completely red and her face was the saddest and most horrifying thing I had seen in my entire life-time. She looked lost and afraid. And alone. "So now you're going to have to understand why I need a new handler. Why I need to walk out of here forever. Why I need to walk away from you forever. I can't do this any longer, Michael. This, this life, it's killing me. I can't do this anymore." She bent down and kissed me once, then looked into my eyes and seemed to fade. "Goodbye, Michael." She whispered, then left the gym. I stayed lying down on the mat and allowed a tear to run down my cheek. When I drove home, I was more lost then ever. Somewhere in those five minutes she used to tell me what was wrong, somewhere in those five minutes she over-powered me and was vulnerable to me at the same time, somewhere in those five minutes that she told me everything I lost myself to her forever.