My finals are finally over, so now I can actually resume working on this story. I've been VERY stressed out lately, so I think torturing Meryl has become a form of stress relief for me (poor Meryl). Thank you to everyone who reviewed. I definitely appreciate feedback and hearing that people enjoy reading my story is quite motivating. I appreciate constructive criticism as well, since I don't have much experience with writing fiction and am always looking for ways to improve.
I just about jumped out of my seat when I saw the first reviewer was Jaina. I love the story she wrote with Arafel titled A Whisper in Darkness. If you haven't read it and you like the Vash x Meryl pairing definitely check it out (it is an R rated fic however, so it's only for 17 and up :P).
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The hallway floor was less inviting than Meryl had anticipated. The hard flooring was not only cold, but the rigid surface had begun to make the undersides of her legs and bottom ache. As she sat leaning against the wall outside of Vash's room, she suddenly became quite tempted to retrieve the cotton quilt covering her bed. However, she pushed this urge aside when she realized how awkward it might be if Vash found her camped out, blanket and all, beside the door to the room he and Knives were now sharing.
She had already created enough of a rift between them today. She didn't need to intensify the current situation by giving him the impression that she might be attempting to invade his privacy as well (although she had considered putting her ear up to the door more than a few times that night). Since her own room was almost directly across the hall from Vash's, Meryl could easily jump up and attempt to make it look like it was no more than a coincidence they had both entered the hall at the same time. At least, that was what she was planning to do once he finally exited the room.
All she really wanted was a chance to apologize for the things she had said earlier, but she was afraid to disturb him at the present moment. He had been in that room, alone with Knives, for over four hours now. It would be so easy just to go up and knock on the door; she knew Vash wouldn't turn her away. However, the guilt over what she had said to him earlier that day somehow blocked her from doing so. Or, maybe forcing herself to sit outside the door and wait was some form of self-created punishment brought about to help relieve some of the guilt she felt.
As the unpleasant memories of the day's earlier events rose to the forefront of her consciousness, Meryl shifted uneasily against the wall.
Vash had finally returned to the town after close to a week of absence. She had been so happy to see him, to know that he was alive and to know that she could now tell him how she felt. Once she clearly saw his figure at the edge of town, something in the back of her mind had quickly come to the realization that it was actually possible for them to actually start a relationship. That she really might have a chance with him.
However, Vash had not come back alone. Instead he had towed his sadistic and currently unconscious brother back with him. Meryl wondered if he realized the amount of danger he was putting herself, Milly, and all of the townspeople in by bringing him back. Or maybe he just didn't care… maybe his need to save Knives now took priority over her and everyone else's safety.
Knives had killed so many humans it was hard for her to fathom the sheer number of dead. It also seemed, according to Vash's descriptions of past confrontations with his brother, that he was anything but remorseful about his actions.
Vash had once told her that Knives had taken up the last name "Millions" for himself. She now wondered if that might have been in reference to the number of humans he had murdered.
How could he expect either her or Milly to welcome such a person into their home? Especially Milly, she had lost her first love because of the actions of those under the command of Knives. Were they both just supposed to sit back and risk their lives with the faint hope that after 130 years of hatred for mankind he would suddenly come around and begin tolerating human beings?
All of these thoughts had spun through Meryl's head as she, Milly, and Vash (with Knives over his shoulder) had made their way back from the edge of town to the small home they were sharing. Once they entered the house, Vash had finally been able to free himself of the rather weighty burden he had been carrying across the desert for the last several hours. He had taken Knives into his own room and carefully set him down in his bed, closing the door when he left the room. Following this, Vash took a seat at the small kitchen table and let his body slump slightly, indicating that although his eyes flickered with a certain level of vitality, he was physically exhausted.
Meryl had elected not to take a seat with Vash at the table, but instead to stand and peer down at him slightly. Their difference in height was so great that even with Vash sitting, Meryl was only a few inches taller than him. It occurred to her, now, that he had simply wanted to rest, but she hadn't allowed him such a luxury. Instead she had gone on a tirade about how selfish he was for bringing Knives back with him and for putting them all in danger. This recollection made a new wave of guilt wash over her.
He had sat at that table and listened to everything she said without interruption. A solemn expression had begun to appear on his face as the barrage of her impulsively chosen words hit him.
Finally, after an indeterminate amount of time passed, Milly had entered the room causing an end to Meryl's outburst. Milly had looked over both of them with wide eyes until her gaze settled on Vash. Her expression suddenly changed to one of deep concern as she looked down at the floor beneath Vash's chair.
"Mr. Vash! You're bleeding!" she said as she ran over to where he was sitting.
Meryl hadn't been able to see it from the position where she stood, but when she took a few steps back she realized that a fair sized puddle of blood had pooled on the floor below his right hand. Meryl's mouth involuntarily begun to hang agape once she realized that he had sat there and listened to her entire lecture while wounded.
"Huh, I guess I am," was all that Vash said in response as he lifted his right hand and examined the blood trickling down his fingers.
By this point, Milly had moved around to the back of Vash's chair and was currently examining his right shoulder.
"Mr. Vash, it looks like you got shot through the shoulder," she said putting slight pressure on the wound and causing Vash to wince.
"But, I think the bullet went through. We had better sterilize the wound though, it might get infected otherwise."
Milly had then led Vash into her own bedroom where she had apparently treated his wound. However, Meryl could only speculate on just what had taken place after Vash left the kitchen table. She, herself, had become frozen in place once she saw the puddle of blood beneath Vash's chair.
The realization of her mistake then hit her full force. She had chastised him for being selfish when she was truly the one being insensitive and egotistical. What should she have expected him to do? Leave his brother in the desert to die? Shot him to death? Or, maybe he could have just never returned to the town. He could have just traveled to another town or city without ever saying goodbye to her or Milly.
She wondered, with a bit of dismay, if maybe all he had really intended to do by returning was say his goodbyes to her and Milly.
The mental turmoil Meryl was now experiencing began to reflect itself in a physical form. Her stomach tensed uncomfortably and her eyes stung as liquid gathered in their corners.
She knew that Vash was endlessly forgiving and was optimistic almost to a fault. When she considered everything that could have happened she realized that this was about the best possible outcome she or Vash might have hoped for.
It now seemed that her old trait of hiding her feelings for Vash with anger and denial had resurfaced, but what a time it had chosen to do so. It wasn't really outrage at his decision to bring back Knives or terror that he might hurt her or others she had been conveying to him with her words. The truth was that her fear of rejection had gotten the better of her and instead of finally working up the nerve to tell him how she felt she had taken a completely different course of action. She had used her angry words and accusations as a shoddily constructed veil to conceal her true feelings.
She really thought she had gotten past this vice, but when it came right down to it she hadn't made any progress at all.
However, this time something inside her told her she could make it right, or she could at least try to. All she really needed to do was apologize and to tell him how she truly felt. Yes, she had thought trying to work her courage up, what she really needed to do right now was to march up to Vash and tell him that she didn't mean what she had said earlier. That, in actuality, she wanted him to stay and tend to Knives here, in the home they were sharing.
It might be a bit of a humbling experience for her; she hadn't really had to make a sincere apology to anyone since she had run over a stranger's foot while learning how to drive almost a decade ago. But, it would all be worth it if he stayed.
So, with an unprecedented level of determination, Meryl made her way into the hallway only to find Milly's room unoccupied and the door to Vash's room closed. She had gone out on the house's small front porch, hoping that he might be there, possibly looking up at the stars with one of his more solemn expressions.
Instead, she found Milly sitting in the weathered rocking chair which had occupied the front porch since even before they arrived in this town. It was Milly who had her eyes fixed upon the stars as they made their nightly journey across the sky. She had a wistful smile on her face and her hands were clasped together in her lap.
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Author's Notes:
I'm not completely sure about the layout of the house, but I decided to each give them each their own room. Also, I noticed that Vash carried Knives on the same shoulder that had been shot through earlier in the final episode. So, I guess that, in this story, Vash started bleeding from his shoulder because he opened the wound up carrying back Knives.