Now That I Can Dance
*~*~*
Chapter Four:
Dancing With Myself
Johnny
Johnny Castle opened the door to his cabin, feeling tired and sweaty from all the dancing he had done at the "big house" and the staff hall. Normally after such a night he would feel only euphoria, pleased to be distracted from his troubles. But tonight, it was no use. He could only think of one thing, Penny.
She was the only person he trusted in the world. Of course there were always others, people to surround himself with, who would keep an eye out for him and be on his side, but in the end there was only Penny. And now she was in trouble.
She had told him tonight. About Robbie. Oh, he had known that they were dating, but he had no idea how serious it was. And he wasn't upset that they had been having sex, god knew he had no moral ground to stand on there, but he couldn't believe that Robbie would be so irresponsible. Having a baby would ruin Penny's career. The girl was definitely the most talented dancer that Johnny had ever worked with, even though sometimes it seemed liked her heart just wasn't into it.
He mounted the steps and walked into his room, both the biggest staff cabin at Kellerman's and the loneliest. The light flicked on, burning his eyes like acid, and he began the halfhearted task of picking up the day's accumulated junk. He needed something-anything-to get his mind off his problems.
No matter how much he worried about it, he knew, in the end, that Penny would be all right. Things like this always cleared up, it was just a matter of time. His distress wasn't that Penny needed an abortion, wasn't about the money or the jobs or the possibility of Max or anyone else finding out about it. His real pain was something deeply-rooted and impossible to solve or even understand, something that, as far as he could see, would stay with him for the rest of his life with no end in sight.
Johnny was alone. He couldn't ever seem to forget the fact that he had no one to love. His parents sure didn't seem to care about him, the only time they had ever wrote him over the summer was to say they were worried that if he didn't come back soon he would have no chance of getting into a union. His parents just didn't seem to understand that when he was dancing nothing else mattered, he didn't have to think about being lonely, or poor, or having nowhere to go when this gig ended. Dancing, he knew, was the only thing that kept him alive. And now even that wasn't enough.
Not even Penny felt how he did. He had never tried to explain it to her, and knew that he would never try. Penny danced for money and for show, but never for herself. He couldn't put a special burden on his parents, or Penny, or anyone else for not understanding. He didn't think anybody did. Or at least, he used to.
That girl he had danced with tonight. He could feel that when he was moving with her, even though she was inexperienced and clumsy, that she was dancing from the heart. She had given it her all, even though she didn't have much to give.
Johnny stood in the middle of his cabin for a moment, thinking of the girl in the blue stripy dress. He knew she was a guest at Kellerman's, one of Max's special guests no less. Completely off limits. To him at least, jerks like Neil were welcome to wine and dine her.
Anyway, she wasn't really his type.
"Damn it!" Johnny shouted as he kicked the wall. His whole world was falling apart. Penny was in trouble, his dancing days were almost over and with everything going on right now he doubted if he could handle the show at the hotel that was coming up. When things were like this there was only one thing Johnny could do.
He made a clean space in the center of his room, shoving some clothes and books that had migrated onto the floor into a heap, and put an album on the record player.
Music blared out of the record player. He'd always loved this song, and had even asked Max once if they could play it on the main floor, a sort of way to bring Kellerman's into the twentieth century, but he'd gotten shot down. Typical.
On the floor of Tokyo Or down in London town go, go With the record selection With the mirror reflection I'm dancing with myself
Johnny spun around his cabin. At night he could dance however he wanted, no formal steps, no stupid old lady partners messing him up......
When there's no one else in sight In the crowded lonely night Well there's nothing to lose And there's nothing to prove I'll be dancing with myself
He must have looked like an idiot to anyone who passed by, seeing him silhouetted in the windows of his cabin, a faint bass line thumping out. But he didn't care. He stopped thinking, just let the music move him, set his mind and his body free. For a few moments he didn't have to think, didn't have to worry. For a few moments, he didn't have to feel alone.
If I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance And I'll be dancing with myself...
*~*~*
Some of you may have noticed that we have used an eighties song ("Dancing With Myself" by Billy Idol, which we do NOT own but wish we did) in a 60's fic, but let us point out that the producers weren't completely anachronism free either. And we apologize for being gone for so long, but better late than never, and you can expect a lot more of NTICD...our muse is on overdrive. :--) Oh, and congratulate us on our first original chapter...so we needed a little lyrical help...
*~*~*
Chapter Four:
Dancing With Myself
Johnny
Johnny Castle opened the door to his cabin, feeling tired and sweaty from all the dancing he had done at the "big house" and the staff hall. Normally after such a night he would feel only euphoria, pleased to be distracted from his troubles. But tonight, it was no use. He could only think of one thing, Penny.
She was the only person he trusted in the world. Of course there were always others, people to surround himself with, who would keep an eye out for him and be on his side, but in the end there was only Penny. And now she was in trouble.
She had told him tonight. About Robbie. Oh, he had known that they were dating, but he had no idea how serious it was. And he wasn't upset that they had been having sex, god knew he had no moral ground to stand on there, but he couldn't believe that Robbie would be so irresponsible. Having a baby would ruin Penny's career. The girl was definitely the most talented dancer that Johnny had ever worked with, even though sometimes it seemed liked her heart just wasn't into it.
He mounted the steps and walked into his room, both the biggest staff cabin at Kellerman's and the loneliest. The light flicked on, burning his eyes like acid, and he began the halfhearted task of picking up the day's accumulated junk. He needed something-anything-to get his mind off his problems.
No matter how much he worried about it, he knew, in the end, that Penny would be all right. Things like this always cleared up, it was just a matter of time. His distress wasn't that Penny needed an abortion, wasn't about the money or the jobs or the possibility of Max or anyone else finding out about it. His real pain was something deeply-rooted and impossible to solve or even understand, something that, as far as he could see, would stay with him for the rest of his life with no end in sight.
Johnny was alone. He couldn't ever seem to forget the fact that he had no one to love. His parents sure didn't seem to care about him, the only time they had ever wrote him over the summer was to say they were worried that if he didn't come back soon he would have no chance of getting into a union. His parents just didn't seem to understand that when he was dancing nothing else mattered, he didn't have to think about being lonely, or poor, or having nowhere to go when this gig ended. Dancing, he knew, was the only thing that kept him alive. And now even that wasn't enough.
Not even Penny felt how he did. He had never tried to explain it to her, and knew that he would never try. Penny danced for money and for show, but never for herself. He couldn't put a special burden on his parents, or Penny, or anyone else for not understanding. He didn't think anybody did. Or at least, he used to.
That girl he had danced with tonight. He could feel that when he was moving with her, even though she was inexperienced and clumsy, that she was dancing from the heart. She had given it her all, even though she didn't have much to give.
Johnny stood in the middle of his cabin for a moment, thinking of the girl in the blue stripy dress. He knew she was a guest at Kellerman's, one of Max's special guests no less. Completely off limits. To him at least, jerks like Neil were welcome to wine and dine her.
Anyway, she wasn't really his type.
"Damn it!" Johnny shouted as he kicked the wall. His whole world was falling apart. Penny was in trouble, his dancing days were almost over and with everything going on right now he doubted if he could handle the show at the hotel that was coming up. When things were like this there was only one thing Johnny could do.
He made a clean space in the center of his room, shoving some clothes and books that had migrated onto the floor into a heap, and put an album on the record player.
Music blared out of the record player. He'd always loved this song, and had even asked Max once if they could play it on the main floor, a sort of way to bring Kellerman's into the twentieth century, but he'd gotten shot down. Typical.
On the floor of Tokyo Or down in London town go, go With the record selection With the mirror reflection I'm dancing with myself
Johnny spun around his cabin. At night he could dance however he wanted, no formal steps, no stupid old lady partners messing him up......
When there's no one else in sight In the crowded lonely night Well there's nothing to lose And there's nothing to prove I'll be dancing with myself
He must have looked like an idiot to anyone who passed by, seeing him silhouetted in the windows of his cabin, a faint bass line thumping out. But he didn't care. He stopped thinking, just let the music move him, set his mind and his body free. For a few moments he didn't have to think, didn't have to worry. For a few moments, he didn't have to feel alone.
If I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance And I'll be dancing with myself...
*~*~*
Some of you may have noticed that we have used an eighties song ("Dancing With Myself" by Billy Idol, which we do NOT own but wish we did) in a 60's fic, but let us point out that the producers weren't completely anachronism free either. And we apologize for being gone for so long, but better late than never, and you can expect a lot more of NTICD...our muse is on overdrive. :--) Oh, and congratulate us on our first original chapter...so we needed a little lyrical help...