CHAPTER 17
Heart to Heart
It was a beautiful sunny summer day. One of those days that made life feel like a wonderful dream. Whitney walked in Teresa's bedroom to find her under her covers, lying there with her blinds shot.
"Teresa, you need to come back with the living."
"I don't want to."
"Two months have passed. You need to start living your life again. Fox would want you to."
"No, I want to die."
"Don't say that."
"I lost everything Whit. I lost the man I loved, the child I was carrying. Is life really worth living?"
*************************
She was taken back to the day after Fox had died in the plane crash. She was still at the lake with Whitney, feeling the pain in her stomach from the night before. The tears she had cried and the pain she felt in her heart numbed her entire body. Only now, she was starting to feel the hurt in her stomach and it was getting sharper by the second. She clutched at it.
"Teresa, what's wrong?"
"I'm in pain."
"I know, honey. But it will go away. With time, your pain will subside. I promise."
Teresa got up and felt something warm on her leg. She looked.
"Blood, I'm bleeding."
"You probably just cut yourself."
"No, I can't lose my baby too, I can't."
"What, you're pregnant?" Whitney's heart was beating fast. Why hadn't she told anyone?
"Let's get you to the hospital, I'll call my mom on our way there."
Teresa started walking but fell to the grass, clutching her stomach. She looked up at Whitney who was trying to help her up.
"I'm going to lose the one thing I have left of him."
She got up and Whitney supported Teresa as they both walked to the car.
"Let's take you to the Women's Clinic instead. It's much closer."
Whitney was driving as fast as she could, but the same question kept nagging at her.
"Why didn't you tell anyone? Why didn't you tell me? Did Fox know about this?"
"No, I wanted him to be the first one to know about it. And now..."
"Don't think like that Teresa, I won't let you."
She pulled the car over and helped Teresa out. They got to nurse's desk just as Teresa was collapsing. The nurse ran to her and called for a doctor.
"She is pregnant and she's been having pains and then there was blood."
"How far along is she?"
"I don't know."
Teresa was taken in a cubicle and Whitney waited for the doctor to come back. After what seemed to be an eternity, he finally came back in the waiting room.
"What happened?"
"Unfortunately, she lost the child. Has she been under a lot of stress?"
"The father died in the plane crash yesterday."
"I'm sorry to heat that. She is resting right now, and she'll be able to go home in an hour or two."
"Can I go see her, please?"
"Of course."
Whitney went in the room and pulled a chair next to Teresa's bed. She was looking out the window, lost in her thoughts, maybe her memories.
"I don't understand any of this, Whit."
"I don't think anyone really understands it. It just the way things are."
"But they shouldn't be that way."
"Stop fighting what you can't change, Teresa. It will only hurt you."
"When I didn't think I could feel anymore pain...."
"I know, Teresa. I know."
"No, that's the thing, you don't know. I lost the man I love and my baby is gone. You can't understand unless you lived it."
"You're right. Do you want me to call your mother?"
"No, I don't want anyone to know about this. I want it to be our secret."
"I don't know about this, Teresa. Your family can help you."
"Unless they can bring Nicholas and our baby back, I don't want them to know."
"It's your decision."
They remained silent until it was time to go back home.
*******************************
"Yes, Teresa, life is worth living. Always. You have to be strong."
"Please, leave me alone. I don't want to see anyone."
"Alright, I will leave you alone. Your mother told me that Ivy Crane wanted to see you."
"What for?"
"I don't know. She's expecting you at the mansion, in her bedroom."
"I'll just call the main house and tell them that I can't go."
"Teresa, I know you lost a lot, but Fox wouldn't want you to be like this. You haven't been out since he died. You're barely eating, you're barely alive. Go see her. It might bring you something."
"Like what?"
"I don't know, but go and find out why she wants to see you."
"She hates me."
"Even if she did, you two have Fox in common. You owe it to him to go see his mother and go on with your life."
"Fine. I'll go take a shower and get dressed and get this over with."
"Good. I'll leave, but call me if you need to talk."
Teresa gave her friend a weak smile, got up and went in the shower while Whitney left. She got dressed and headed up to the mansion. Once she was inside, she started climbing up the stairs.
"Teresa?"
"Mr. Crane, hello."
"How are you doing, dear."
"Alright thank you."
She was going to ask Julian the same question, but stopped when she saw the glass of alcohol in his hand.
"If you'll excuse me, I have to see Mrs. Crane."
"What for?"
"I don't know, she just asked to see me."
"Well the snake in his her bedroom."
She was taken back by the remark. She had forgotten how Julian and Ivy were bitter toward each other.
"Thank you."
She arrived at Ivy's bedroom and knocked.
"Who is it?"
"It's Teresa, Mrs. Crane."
The door opened slowly.
"Come in."
She went inside and Ivy showed her to an armchair. Teresa sat down and waited for Ivy to tell her why she wanted her there. Ivy sat across from her and stared at her for a long time, like she was trying to figure out how to start the conversation.
"We haven't seen much of you, Teresa. Pilar has told me that you haven't been well."
"Well, I-I've had better days."
It was silent again.
"Mrs. Crane, why am I here? I mean you didn't want to see me just find out how I was doing."
"You're right, Teresa. I didn't call you up here to ask how you were feeling. I have a few questions."
"What kind of questions?"
"About Fox. Did you love him?"
Teresa's eyes filled with tears.
"Why are you asking me this?"
"Because I need to know."
"Yes, I did. Very much...I never felt this way about anyone before and I don't think I'll ever feel this way again."
"I think I sold Fox short so many times."
"I think you did. I never understood how you could feel so much love for one son and loathe another one."
"I didn't loathe Fox. He was my son. I carried him for 9 months. You know, a bond is created between mother and child during that time, a bond that can never be broken."
"I know, I felt it with own baby."
Ivy stared at Teresa in shock.
"I'm sorry, what did you just say?"
"Nothing. You're talking of bond that is created. Why did you break it?"
"I never broke it."
"Yes, you did. He felt that you hated him, that there wasn't enough place in your heart for him and his sisters. He felt that Ethan had taken everything from him."
"I didn't do this on purpose you know."
"I don't know. I hope that somewhere, he did know."
"I was against you and him been together for obvious reasons. It didn't matter to me that you loved each other. He was right, I was been a hypocrite about this. I am glad that he found love and that he was loved for the person he was and not for his last name." Tears were jerking out of their eyes. Ivy was in pain over losing her son. Teresa felt odd about it.
"Why didn't you go to his memorial service, Teresa?"
"Because I want to hold some hope that he is alive somewhere."
"You need to have closure."
"No, I don't want closure. I want to be with him."
Ivy looked at Teresa with a glint of piety in her eyes.
"I asked you here Teresa because I have a favor to ask you. I hope you'll be able to accommodate me."
"I don't know, I guess it depends."
"Tell me about my son. Tell me about Fox and who he really was. You know him better than anyone."
Teresa was surprised at the request.
"Where do I start? Nicholas is an amazing man. He is....."
She spoke for hours about him. She even pulled out photographs off her purse and she showed her the ring and the bracelet. After she left the mansion, she felt that a second life had been breathed inside of her. She looked up at the sky that was filling with beautiful, bright stars.
"I know you're somewhere out there. I will never love anyone but you."
It was a beautiful sunny summer day. One of those days that made life feel like a wonderful dream. Whitney walked in Teresa's bedroom to find her under her covers, lying there with her blinds shot.
"Teresa, you need to come back with the living."
"I don't want to."
"Two months have passed. You need to start living your life again. Fox would want you to."
"No, I want to die."
"Don't say that."
"I lost everything Whit. I lost the man I loved, the child I was carrying. Is life really worth living?"
*************************
She was taken back to the day after Fox had died in the plane crash. She was still at the lake with Whitney, feeling the pain in her stomach from the night before. The tears she had cried and the pain she felt in her heart numbed her entire body. Only now, she was starting to feel the hurt in her stomach and it was getting sharper by the second. She clutched at it.
"Teresa, what's wrong?"
"I'm in pain."
"I know, honey. But it will go away. With time, your pain will subside. I promise."
Teresa got up and felt something warm on her leg. She looked.
"Blood, I'm bleeding."
"You probably just cut yourself."
"No, I can't lose my baby too, I can't."
"What, you're pregnant?" Whitney's heart was beating fast. Why hadn't she told anyone?
"Let's get you to the hospital, I'll call my mom on our way there."
Teresa started walking but fell to the grass, clutching her stomach. She looked up at Whitney who was trying to help her up.
"I'm going to lose the one thing I have left of him."
She got up and Whitney supported Teresa as they both walked to the car.
"Let's take you to the Women's Clinic instead. It's much closer."
Whitney was driving as fast as she could, but the same question kept nagging at her.
"Why didn't you tell anyone? Why didn't you tell me? Did Fox know about this?"
"No, I wanted him to be the first one to know about it. And now..."
"Don't think like that Teresa, I won't let you."
She pulled the car over and helped Teresa out. They got to nurse's desk just as Teresa was collapsing. The nurse ran to her and called for a doctor.
"She is pregnant and she's been having pains and then there was blood."
"How far along is she?"
"I don't know."
Teresa was taken in a cubicle and Whitney waited for the doctor to come back. After what seemed to be an eternity, he finally came back in the waiting room.
"What happened?"
"Unfortunately, she lost the child. Has she been under a lot of stress?"
"The father died in the plane crash yesterday."
"I'm sorry to heat that. She is resting right now, and she'll be able to go home in an hour or two."
"Can I go see her, please?"
"Of course."
Whitney went in the room and pulled a chair next to Teresa's bed. She was looking out the window, lost in her thoughts, maybe her memories.
"I don't understand any of this, Whit."
"I don't think anyone really understands it. It just the way things are."
"But they shouldn't be that way."
"Stop fighting what you can't change, Teresa. It will only hurt you."
"When I didn't think I could feel anymore pain...."
"I know, Teresa. I know."
"No, that's the thing, you don't know. I lost the man I love and my baby is gone. You can't understand unless you lived it."
"You're right. Do you want me to call your mother?"
"No, I don't want anyone to know about this. I want it to be our secret."
"I don't know about this, Teresa. Your family can help you."
"Unless they can bring Nicholas and our baby back, I don't want them to know."
"It's your decision."
They remained silent until it was time to go back home.
*******************************
"Yes, Teresa, life is worth living. Always. You have to be strong."
"Please, leave me alone. I don't want to see anyone."
"Alright, I will leave you alone. Your mother told me that Ivy Crane wanted to see you."
"What for?"
"I don't know. She's expecting you at the mansion, in her bedroom."
"I'll just call the main house and tell them that I can't go."
"Teresa, I know you lost a lot, but Fox wouldn't want you to be like this. You haven't been out since he died. You're barely eating, you're barely alive. Go see her. It might bring you something."
"Like what?"
"I don't know, but go and find out why she wants to see you."
"She hates me."
"Even if she did, you two have Fox in common. You owe it to him to go see his mother and go on with your life."
"Fine. I'll go take a shower and get dressed and get this over with."
"Good. I'll leave, but call me if you need to talk."
Teresa gave her friend a weak smile, got up and went in the shower while Whitney left. She got dressed and headed up to the mansion. Once she was inside, she started climbing up the stairs.
"Teresa?"
"Mr. Crane, hello."
"How are you doing, dear."
"Alright thank you."
She was going to ask Julian the same question, but stopped when she saw the glass of alcohol in his hand.
"If you'll excuse me, I have to see Mrs. Crane."
"What for?"
"I don't know, she just asked to see me."
"Well the snake in his her bedroom."
She was taken back by the remark. She had forgotten how Julian and Ivy were bitter toward each other.
"Thank you."
She arrived at Ivy's bedroom and knocked.
"Who is it?"
"It's Teresa, Mrs. Crane."
The door opened slowly.
"Come in."
She went inside and Ivy showed her to an armchair. Teresa sat down and waited for Ivy to tell her why she wanted her there. Ivy sat across from her and stared at her for a long time, like she was trying to figure out how to start the conversation.
"We haven't seen much of you, Teresa. Pilar has told me that you haven't been well."
"Well, I-I've had better days."
It was silent again.
"Mrs. Crane, why am I here? I mean you didn't want to see me just find out how I was doing."
"You're right, Teresa. I didn't call you up here to ask how you were feeling. I have a few questions."
"What kind of questions?"
"About Fox. Did you love him?"
Teresa's eyes filled with tears.
"Why are you asking me this?"
"Because I need to know."
"Yes, I did. Very much...I never felt this way about anyone before and I don't think I'll ever feel this way again."
"I think I sold Fox short so many times."
"I think you did. I never understood how you could feel so much love for one son and loathe another one."
"I didn't loathe Fox. He was my son. I carried him for 9 months. You know, a bond is created between mother and child during that time, a bond that can never be broken."
"I know, I felt it with own baby."
Ivy stared at Teresa in shock.
"I'm sorry, what did you just say?"
"Nothing. You're talking of bond that is created. Why did you break it?"
"I never broke it."
"Yes, you did. He felt that you hated him, that there wasn't enough place in your heart for him and his sisters. He felt that Ethan had taken everything from him."
"I didn't do this on purpose you know."
"I don't know. I hope that somewhere, he did know."
"I was against you and him been together for obvious reasons. It didn't matter to me that you loved each other. He was right, I was been a hypocrite about this. I am glad that he found love and that he was loved for the person he was and not for his last name." Tears were jerking out of their eyes. Ivy was in pain over losing her son. Teresa felt odd about it.
"Why didn't you go to his memorial service, Teresa?"
"Because I want to hold some hope that he is alive somewhere."
"You need to have closure."
"No, I don't want closure. I want to be with him."
Ivy looked at Teresa with a glint of piety in her eyes.
"I asked you here Teresa because I have a favor to ask you. I hope you'll be able to accommodate me."
"I don't know, I guess it depends."
"Tell me about my son. Tell me about Fox and who he really was. You know him better than anyone."
Teresa was surprised at the request.
"Where do I start? Nicholas is an amazing man. He is....."
She spoke for hours about him. She even pulled out photographs off her purse and she showed her the ring and the bracelet. After she left the mansion, she felt that a second life had been breathed inside of her. She looked up at the sky that was filling with beautiful, bright stars.
"I know you're somewhere out there. I will never love anyone but you."