CHAPTER 18
Ethan
"Come on, Teresa."
"No, I don't want to go out for dinner with you."
"Fox has been dead for two years. You have to start dating sometime."
"I know, but I don't think I'm ready."
"If you don't jump in it, you'll never be ready."
"Alright, I'll go."
"We'll have fun, you'll see. I'll come and get you in a couple of hours."
She gave him a weak smile as he turned around to leave. She closed the door behind her and went to her closet to pick something out for the evening.
"Maybe Ethan is right, I need to start going out a little bit."
She took out a navy blue dress.
"This is should do it. It's elegant and not too sexy."
She threw it on her bed and went in the shower. Not matter how hard she tried, the same thoughts always crossed her mind. What if none of this had happened?
"I know how things would be if none of this had happened. Nicholas and I would be living happily, away from Harmony and with a little girl or a little boy."
She got out of the shower and started drying her hair. A smile flashed on her face when she saw Fox's photograph sitting there. He was wearing swim trunks that were full with dripping sand. His back was sticky with sea weed, but he was smiling showing all his teeth. It had been taken at the beach so long ago, when they were children. They just had a wet sand fight. She remembered how her hair was full of it and how her mother had the most difficult time taking it out. She also remember the stinging whenever a ball hit her skin.
"It seems like it was a lifetime ago. We were so innocent, without a care in the world."
She finished getting ready just as she heard the knocking on her door. It was probably Ethan.
*********************
"What are you doing, darling?"
"Mother, I didn't hear you come in."
"You were so concentrated on fixing your tie. Here let me help you."
"No, I got it."
"You seem happy. Any particular reason?"
"I'm taking Teresa out tonight."
"Ethan, is this wise?"
"I love her Mother."
Ivy was a bit shocked, but not surprised.
"I have seen the way you always looked at her. She is in love with your brother."
"He is dead, Mother. He has been for over 2 years now."
"Did you hate him that much?"
"No, I didn't hate him. He was my brother, but he also had the heart of the woman I wanted."
"But I thought you loved Gwen."
"I liked her, but never loved her. Besides, does anyone really want to have Rebecca as mother in law?"
Ivy glanced at her son.
"You and Fox are certainly different."
"You always made sure him and I both knew that."
She was leaving her son's room but she turned around.
"One last thing, Ethan. Even if you get Teresa to love you, it will never be what she felt for your brother. That love is off limits."
"Not only will she love me, Mother. But she will also marry me."
************************
Teresa opened the front door. Ethan was standing there with roses in his hand.
"These are for you."
He watched her reaction.
"I hope you like roses."
"Who doesn't like roses."
She forced a smile upon her face.
"I should have asked you what you liked."
"Sunflowers and lilies."
"Lilies?"
"That was the first flower Nicholas ever gave me. When he was 10 years old, he picked a few right after Gardner planted them. I thought the poor man was going to have a heart attack. I thought he was about to start chasing him around."
"I thought we would go to the French restaurant. What do you say?"
"I guess it's fine."
They left the cottage and got in his car.
"I think you look beautiful."
"Thank you."
The rest of the ride was fairly silent, except for the music on the radio. They got to the restaurant and walked inside.
"Miss Lopez-Fitzgerald, what a pleasure to see you again. It has been too long."
"Thank you Gregory, it's good to see you too."
"Now that I know that you are the one who is Mr. Winthrop's date, I will give you the table you like so much. The one by the glass door on the ocean."
"That's alright, Gregory. You don't have to."
"But I insist, please. Like old times."
"Fine."
Both Ethan and Teresa followed the host to their table. For a moment Teresa felt like the person who was going to sit across from her was Fox. But she was thrown back into reality when she didn't see the blond hair and brown eyes. It was Ethan instead.
"I'll have your usual waiter in a few minutes."
"Thank you Gregory."
He was about to leave, but then he just came back.
"I'm really sorry for your loss, Miss Lopez-Fitzgerald. I know it's been a while, but I want you to know that we all felt sad about Mr. Crane's passing. We know how you two felt about each other and it's a shame what happened to him."
"Ummm, well..thank you."
Ethan was looking at Teresa. Everywhere he turned, Fox's ghost appeared. He was the constant reminder that he would never have Teresa. Ivy was right, Fox still owned Teresa's heart and it would take a long time to make her forget about him.
"Are you ready for dessert?"
"Yes, Teresa, what would you like?'
"Miss Lopez-Fitzgerald usually has the chocolate mousse, but she always takes a few spoons full of Mr. Crane's crème brulee. He always had to fight her off."
Teresa laughed at the memory.
"You know what, Charles. It think I will take a pass on the dessert this time."
Charles looked at her surprised.
"If my memory serves me correctly, you never did that. What about this, I will ask the chef to make you a crème brulee so you can take it home and have it whenever you want. It's on the house."
"No, really thank you."
"I insist. You were always such a great person to serve, you and Mr. Crane. I know it's not much, but maybe in a very small way it can help put back a smile on your face."
"How can I refuse? Thank you!"
"It's my pleasure, really."
He walked back to the kitchens.
"People really like you here."
"They are really nice."
She glanced outside at the ocean.
"Can you believe that something so magnificent can swallow a person to never return it?"
"I guess it's the law of the sea."
"Maybe..."
She looked at him and felt bad.
"I am really sorry. I know what a drag I was this evening. I hope you'll forgive me."
"We always forgive the people we love."
She felt uncomfortable.
"I'm sorry, I don't think I got what you said."
"I said we always forgive the people we love. I've had these feelings for you for a very long time."
"And Nicholas knew, didn't he?"
"I think he did."
"I see."
She picked up her dessert and her purse and started walking to the door. He caught up with her.
"You have to know that I don't feel the same way for you."
"I know, but I'll wait. You see, I want us to be more than what we've always been."
"Take me home, please."
"I thought we could go to the pond."
"No. Too many memories there."
"What about the lake."
"No, just take me home."
"You need to move on, Teresa. It's time."
She didn't say anything. She could feel her eyes stinging from the tears that were forming in her eyes.
"You are a beautiful woman, with so much to look forward to. Don't let Fox take you down with him."
"How dare you speak about him that way? Don't you feel anything inside your heart? He was you blood."
"He was a Crane."
"Stop the car."
"No."
"Stop the car or I will jump off."
He stopped and she stepped out and slammed the door behind her.
"Teresa, don't be stupid."
"Fuck off, Ethan."
He drove off and she walked the small distance left between where she was and the cottage. She walked to the lake and sat down. She took out the dessert and started eating it. It tasted as good as she remembered. She sat there for a while thinking.
"Maybe Ethan is right. He is good enough man and I could try and make something with him. Maybe a life. He's just not Nicholas."
"Come on, Teresa."
"No, I don't want to go out for dinner with you."
"Fox has been dead for two years. You have to start dating sometime."
"I know, but I don't think I'm ready."
"If you don't jump in it, you'll never be ready."
"Alright, I'll go."
"We'll have fun, you'll see. I'll come and get you in a couple of hours."
She gave him a weak smile as he turned around to leave. She closed the door behind her and went to her closet to pick something out for the evening.
"Maybe Ethan is right, I need to start going out a little bit."
She took out a navy blue dress.
"This is should do it. It's elegant and not too sexy."
She threw it on her bed and went in the shower. Not matter how hard she tried, the same thoughts always crossed her mind. What if none of this had happened?
"I know how things would be if none of this had happened. Nicholas and I would be living happily, away from Harmony and with a little girl or a little boy."
She got out of the shower and started drying her hair. A smile flashed on her face when she saw Fox's photograph sitting there. He was wearing swim trunks that were full with dripping sand. His back was sticky with sea weed, but he was smiling showing all his teeth. It had been taken at the beach so long ago, when they were children. They just had a wet sand fight. She remembered how her hair was full of it and how her mother had the most difficult time taking it out. She also remember the stinging whenever a ball hit her skin.
"It seems like it was a lifetime ago. We were so innocent, without a care in the world."
She finished getting ready just as she heard the knocking on her door. It was probably Ethan.
*********************
"What are you doing, darling?"
"Mother, I didn't hear you come in."
"You were so concentrated on fixing your tie. Here let me help you."
"No, I got it."
"You seem happy. Any particular reason?"
"I'm taking Teresa out tonight."
"Ethan, is this wise?"
"I love her Mother."
Ivy was a bit shocked, but not surprised.
"I have seen the way you always looked at her. She is in love with your brother."
"He is dead, Mother. He has been for over 2 years now."
"Did you hate him that much?"
"No, I didn't hate him. He was my brother, but he also had the heart of the woman I wanted."
"But I thought you loved Gwen."
"I liked her, but never loved her. Besides, does anyone really want to have Rebecca as mother in law?"
Ivy glanced at her son.
"You and Fox are certainly different."
"You always made sure him and I both knew that."
She was leaving her son's room but she turned around.
"One last thing, Ethan. Even if you get Teresa to love you, it will never be what she felt for your brother. That love is off limits."
"Not only will she love me, Mother. But she will also marry me."
************************
Teresa opened the front door. Ethan was standing there with roses in his hand.
"These are for you."
He watched her reaction.
"I hope you like roses."
"Who doesn't like roses."
She forced a smile upon her face.
"I should have asked you what you liked."
"Sunflowers and lilies."
"Lilies?"
"That was the first flower Nicholas ever gave me. When he was 10 years old, he picked a few right after Gardner planted them. I thought the poor man was going to have a heart attack. I thought he was about to start chasing him around."
"I thought we would go to the French restaurant. What do you say?"
"I guess it's fine."
They left the cottage and got in his car.
"I think you look beautiful."
"Thank you."
The rest of the ride was fairly silent, except for the music on the radio. They got to the restaurant and walked inside.
"Miss Lopez-Fitzgerald, what a pleasure to see you again. It has been too long."
"Thank you Gregory, it's good to see you too."
"Now that I know that you are the one who is Mr. Winthrop's date, I will give you the table you like so much. The one by the glass door on the ocean."
"That's alright, Gregory. You don't have to."
"But I insist, please. Like old times."
"Fine."
Both Ethan and Teresa followed the host to their table. For a moment Teresa felt like the person who was going to sit across from her was Fox. But she was thrown back into reality when she didn't see the blond hair and brown eyes. It was Ethan instead.
"I'll have your usual waiter in a few minutes."
"Thank you Gregory."
He was about to leave, but then he just came back.
"I'm really sorry for your loss, Miss Lopez-Fitzgerald. I know it's been a while, but I want you to know that we all felt sad about Mr. Crane's passing. We know how you two felt about each other and it's a shame what happened to him."
"Ummm, well..thank you."
Ethan was looking at Teresa. Everywhere he turned, Fox's ghost appeared. He was the constant reminder that he would never have Teresa. Ivy was right, Fox still owned Teresa's heart and it would take a long time to make her forget about him.
"Are you ready for dessert?"
"Yes, Teresa, what would you like?'
"Miss Lopez-Fitzgerald usually has the chocolate mousse, but she always takes a few spoons full of Mr. Crane's crème brulee. He always had to fight her off."
Teresa laughed at the memory.
"You know what, Charles. It think I will take a pass on the dessert this time."
Charles looked at her surprised.
"If my memory serves me correctly, you never did that. What about this, I will ask the chef to make you a crème brulee so you can take it home and have it whenever you want. It's on the house."
"No, really thank you."
"I insist. You were always such a great person to serve, you and Mr. Crane. I know it's not much, but maybe in a very small way it can help put back a smile on your face."
"How can I refuse? Thank you!"
"It's my pleasure, really."
He walked back to the kitchens.
"People really like you here."
"They are really nice."
She glanced outside at the ocean.
"Can you believe that something so magnificent can swallow a person to never return it?"
"I guess it's the law of the sea."
"Maybe..."
She looked at him and felt bad.
"I am really sorry. I know what a drag I was this evening. I hope you'll forgive me."
"We always forgive the people we love."
She felt uncomfortable.
"I'm sorry, I don't think I got what you said."
"I said we always forgive the people we love. I've had these feelings for you for a very long time."
"And Nicholas knew, didn't he?"
"I think he did."
"I see."
She picked up her dessert and her purse and started walking to the door. He caught up with her.
"You have to know that I don't feel the same way for you."
"I know, but I'll wait. You see, I want us to be more than what we've always been."
"Take me home, please."
"I thought we could go to the pond."
"No. Too many memories there."
"What about the lake."
"No, just take me home."
"You need to move on, Teresa. It's time."
She didn't say anything. She could feel her eyes stinging from the tears that were forming in her eyes.
"You are a beautiful woman, with so much to look forward to. Don't let Fox take you down with him."
"How dare you speak about him that way? Don't you feel anything inside your heart? He was you blood."
"He was a Crane."
"Stop the car."
"No."
"Stop the car or I will jump off."
He stopped and she stepped out and slammed the door behind her.
"Teresa, don't be stupid."
"Fuck off, Ethan."
He drove off and she walked the small distance left between where she was and the cottage. She walked to the lake and sat down. She took out the dessert and started eating it. It tasted as good as she remembered. She sat there for a while thinking.
"Maybe Ethan is right. He is good enough man and I could try and make something with him. Maybe a life. He's just not Nicholas."