ANTI-DEPRESSANT FUNNESS!!!
randomwriter96
Disclaimer: I do not own- blahblah, you know the rest.why do I even bother?
Btw~ Thank you for the reviews! You know who you are.
******************************************************** [Fellowship in open field somewhere near Rivendell. As you can tell, they didn't get very far yet.]
"Ahhhhhhhhh!!" Gandalf cried when he found out that no special, drug- filled miruvor from Rivendell was put into his supply pack. He flung the items from the pack this way and that, hoping that it would magically appear.
"Gandalf?.what is-" Merry picked up an.odd box hastily flung aside.
"Wait.I can read." Pippin scrambled over to Merry and snatched the box.
"The hell you can, Pip," Merry frowned, upset that the mysterious box was taken away from him.
"I see a..weird U. An I.an A.a funny looking chopped off O.a messed up K.and another A," Pippin said. Now it is proved that Pippin cannot read. Ta da!
"What?? Uiaoka?.Gandalf?.is this another one of your love potions?" Merry bounced (how, I don't know) over to Gandalf and tapped his shoulder.
"NOT NOW!"
"Not now!.geez. Touchy old goon," Legolas mimicked Gandalf, then sighed impatiently, crossed his arms, and tapped the grass with his feet, "Can we get a move on?? Who cares about miruvor? I just wanna get this stupid quest done with. I'm missing a hair appointment. And it's only THIS year that they stock up on Thermasilk AND Herbal Essences!" (The dreaded Herbal Essences.*shudders*)
"Gandalf! We must journey on our mission! We must go! We cannot linger! We must follow where Anduril may lead us! Come my trusty sword!" Aragorn unsheathed a..butter knife. (ooo.)
"Oh yeah. That's one HELL of a sword you got there." Legolas rolled his eyes and then.resumed tapping his feet.
"We must follow it! Ah, look! It shines like a bright hippopotamus in the noonday sun! " Aragorn ignored Legolas and brandished it so that it made a dull gleam against the sunlight. The butter knife had some sort of magical magnetic power that drew it to a rock. Or maybe the butter knife was just gay. Aragorn got dragged along as well and *gasp* hit his head on the rock. Then he passed out.
"Follow the sword.follow the sword.we just HAVE to listen to you, Aragorn, because the sword can lead us to a ROCK!" Legolas was getting very cranky. As usual, Frodo was sitting by himself in a corner (yes! Open fields have corners! Duh.). He was rocking baaack and foooorth and baaack and foooorth when.
"WOW! Lookee! Lookee what I found!!" Gandalf proclaimed, laughing like the old insane geezer that he is. This even persuaded Frodo to go and investigate.while standing five feet away from everyone.
"Look what Elrond gave us instead!! A plastic baggy!!!" Gandalf jumped around in innocent delight (*cough* don't ask).
"Oh yaaay.a plastic baggy!.What are we going to do? Stick the Ring in it, THEN throw it off a cliff in Mount Doom? I'm sure THAT would make a BIIIIG difference, that would," Legolas went from cranky to pissed. They weren't making ANY progress at all.
"No no no! Look what's INSIDE it!" Everyone (except for the isolationist aka Frodo) crowded around.
"Tic tacs!!!!!" Pippin squealed.
"No, you fool!!! It's." Gandalf paused for the non-dramatic effect, "PROZAC! I love you Elrond!!"
"You could've stopped yourself after you said Prozac you know.the last bit was a bit more than we needed to know," Aragorn was magically conscious again.
"Prozac." Pippin didn't understand what that meant.
"*sigh* PROZAC, PIPPIN! PROOOOOZZZAAAACCC!!!" Gandalf yelled.
"Yelling it in my face doesn't help me understand, Gandie," Pippin blinked cutely.
"*sigh* PROZAC?? THE ANTI-DEPRESSANT??"
"Ohhhh!!!.I.don't get it. What's an anti-depressant?" Pippin blinked some more because that's all I can make him do right now. Gandalf slapped his forehead.
"Never mind."
"CAN WE GET A MOVE ON??" Legolas screamed in frustration.
"Patience is a virtue." Sam said in a sing-songy voice.
"." Gimli said oh-so-talkatively.
"Patience my ass! I didn't come on this journey to HELP, you know! Do you know that my hair app-"
"Appointment had to be rescheduled and Thermasilk and Herbal Essences only comes out this year.yeah yeah yeah," Sam rolled his eyes.
"So.instead of miruvor, we get.Prozac?." Aragorn stared in disbelief.
"PROOZAAAC! EVERYBODY LOVES PROOZAAAC! IT'S SO YUMMY IN MY TUMMY!! MAKES ME HAPPY, HAPPY AND..AND...hey, what rhymes with happy?" Gandalf sang, then stopped, unable to think of a rhyming word for happy. "How about crappy?" Legolas sarcastically suggested.
"Nah." Gandalf sat down on a rock in deep thought.
"Gandalf, you never DID tell us what Uiaoka was." Merry observed the box half trampled on the ground and picked it up.
"Yeah!" Pippin cried enthusiastically (for no reason whatsoever).
"What?." Gandalf came back to Middle Earth from his trance of deep thought and plucked the box from Merry's hands.
"Uiaoka? Where did you get that from?" Gandalf read the label carelessly. Then he read it again. Gandalf quickly tucked it inside his robes at a special place where no member of the fellowship would dare try to reach for a million dollars. (Ah! You are wondering where Boromir was in all of this.he's here!.somewhere.) But somehow the magical magnetic Anduril the butter knife attracted the box and it flew out of Gandalf's robes and into Aragorn's hands. After Aragorn read the label, he dropped it and promptly screamed. Boromir snatched it from the ground and read the label. He also promptly screamed and ran around in circles singing nonsense. The rest of the Fellowship decided to read it too, being utterly not-so-wise. They too ran around in circles screaming,
"AHHHHHHH!! BAD IMAGE BAD IMAGE BAD IMAGE!!"
For do you know what the label read on the box?.
*cue for mysterious, dun dun dun! music*
It read...........................VIAGRA!
*cue for unified GASP*
*cue for unified screaming "BAD MENTAL IMAGE!!"*
*cue for ending this lame chapter*
A LITTLE NOTE: If you don't know what Viagra is (please tell me you do.), don't expect me to explain it.it is too horrifying to tell. Either that or you can watch the commercial.although THAT doesn't help you much right there. At any rate, don't ask me.
randomwriter96
Disclaimer: I do not own- blahblah, you know the rest.why do I even bother?
Btw~ Thank you for the reviews! You know who you are.
******************************************************** [Fellowship in open field somewhere near Rivendell. As you can tell, they didn't get very far yet.]
"Ahhhhhhhhh!!" Gandalf cried when he found out that no special, drug- filled miruvor from Rivendell was put into his supply pack. He flung the items from the pack this way and that, hoping that it would magically appear.
"Gandalf?.what is-" Merry picked up an.odd box hastily flung aside.
"Wait.I can read." Pippin scrambled over to Merry and snatched the box.
"The hell you can, Pip," Merry frowned, upset that the mysterious box was taken away from him.
"I see a..weird U. An I.an A.a funny looking chopped off O.a messed up K.and another A," Pippin said. Now it is proved that Pippin cannot read. Ta da!
"What?? Uiaoka?.Gandalf?.is this another one of your love potions?" Merry bounced (how, I don't know) over to Gandalf and tapped his shoulder.
"NOT NOW!"
"Not now!.geez. Touchy old goon," Legolas mimicked Gandalf, then sighed impatiently, crossed his arms, and tapped the grass with his feet, "Can we get a move on?? Who cares about miruvor? I just wanna get this stupid quest done with. I'm missing a hair appointment. And it's only THIS year that they stock up on Thermasilk AND Herbal Essences!" (The dreaded Herbal Essences.*shudders*)
"Gandalf! We must journey on our mission! We must go! We cannot linger! We must follow where Anduril may lead us! Come my trusty sword!" Aragorn unsheathed a..butter knife. (ooo.)
"Oh yeah. That's one HELL of a sword you got there." Legolas rolled his eyes and then.resumed tapping his feet.
"We must follow it! Ah, look! It shines like a bright hippopotamus in the noonday sun! " Aragorn ignored Legolas and brandished it so that it made a dull gleam against the sunlight. The butter knife had some sort of magical magnetic power that drew it to a rock. Or maybe the butter knife was just gay. Aragorn got dragged along as well and *gasp* hit his head on the rock. Then he passed out.
"Follow the sword.follow the sword.we just HAVE to listen to you, Aragorn, because the sword can lead us to a ROCK!" Legolas was getting very cranky. As usual, Frodo was sitting by himself in a corner (yes! Open fields have corners! Duh.). He was rocking baaack and foooorth and baaack and foooorth when.
"WOW! Lookee! Lookee what I found!!" Gandalf proclaimed, laughing like the old insane geezer that he is. This even persuaded Frodo to go and investigate.while standing five feet away from everyone.
"Look what Elrond gave us instead!! A plastic baggy!!!" Gandalf jumped around in innocent delight (*cough* don't ask).
"Oh yaaay.a plastic baggy!.What are we going to do? Stick the Ring in it, THEN throw it off a cliff in Mount Doom? I'm sure THAT would make a BIIIIG difference, that would," Legolas went from cranky to pissed. They weren't making ANY progress at all.
"No no no! Look what's INSIDE it!" Everyone (except for the isolationist aka Frodo) crowded around.
"Tic tacs!!!!!" Pippin squealed.
"No, you fool!!! It's." Gandalf paused for the non-dramatic effect, "PROZAC! I love you Elrond!!"
"You could've stopped yourself after you said Prozac you know.the last bit was a bit more than we needed to know," Aragorn was magically conscious again.
"Prozac." Pippin didn't understand what that meant.
"*sigh* PROZAC, PIPPIN! PROOOOOZZZAAAACCC!!!" Gandalf yelled.
"Yelling it in my face doesn't help me understand, Gandie," Pippin blinked cutely.
"*sigh* PROZAC?? THE ANTI-DEPRESSANT??"
"Ohhhh!!!.I.don't get it. What's an anti-depressant?" Pippin blinked some more because that's all I can make him do right now. Gandalf slapped his forehead.
"Never mind."
"CAN WE GET A MOVE ON??" Legolas screamed in frustration.
"Patience is a virtue." Sam said in a sing-songy voice.
"." Gimli said oh-so-talkatively.
"Patience my ass! I didn't come on this journey to HELP, you know! Do you know that my hair app-"
"Appointment had to be rescheduled and Thermasilk and Herbal Essences only comes out this year.yeah yeah yeah," Sam rolled his eyes.
"So.instead of miruvor, we get.Prozac?." Aragorn stared in disbelief.
"PROOZAAAC! EVERYBODY LOVES PROOZAAAC! IT'S SO YUMMY IN MY TUMMY!! MAKES ME HAPPY, HAPPY AND..AND...hey, what rhymes with happy?" Gandalf sang, then stopped, unable to think of a rhyming word for happy. "How about crappy?" Legolas sarcastically suggested.
"Nah." Gandalf sat down on a rock in deep thought.
"Gandalf, you never DID tell us what Uiaoka was." Merry observed the box half trampled on the ground and picked it up.
"Yeah!" Pippin cried enthusiastically (for no reason whatsoever).
"What?." Gandalf came back to Middle Earth from his trance of deep thought and plucked the box from Merry's hands.
"Uiaoka? Where did you get that from?" Gandalf read the label carelessly. Then he read it again. Gandalf quickly tucked it inside his robes at a special place where no member of the fellowship would dare try to reach for a million dollars. (Ah! You are wondering where Boromir was in all of this.he's here!.somewhere.) But somehow the magical magnetic Anduril the butter knife attracted the box and it flew out of Gandalf's robes and into Aragorn's hands. After Aragorn read the label, he dropped it and promptly screamed. Boromir snatched it from the ground and read the label. He also promptly screamed and ran around in circles singing nonsense. The rest of the Fellowship decided to read it too, being utterly not-so-wise. They too ran around in circles screaming,
"AHHHHHHH!! BAD IMAGE BAD IMAGE BAD IMAGE!!"
For do you know what the label read on the box?.
*cue for mysterious, dun dun dun! music*
It read...........................VIAGRA!
*cue for unified GASP*
*cue for unified screaming "BAD MENTAL IMAGE!!"*
*cue for ending this lame chapter*
A LITTLE NOTE: If you don't know what Viagra is (please tell me you do.), don't expect me to explain it.it is too horrifying to tell. Either that or you can watch the commercial.although THAT doesn't help you much right there. At any rate, don't ask me.