ANTI-DEPRESSANT FUNNESS!!!
randomwriter96
Disclaimer: meh. I own.this story. But not the characters in it, mind you. *pause* I wish though.
Btw~ *blinkblink* Wow.42 reviews.I'm amazed.Thank you!!! You know who you are.
Alas, I'm eating nothing at the moment. But you really didn't need to know that. My hands are freezing cold, too. You didn't need to know that either.
******************************************************** [Fellowship in.somewhere-that's-not-an-open-field! It is an.open PLAIN! How exciting.]
"All I see is grass, Merry.is grass eatable? Polka-Dotted won't let me have another apple.poopie butthead!" Pippin, nearly dying of starvation, collapsed in the wiiiiidddeee open plain, filled with long, tall, stalks of grass. In fact, if YOU were dying of starvation, the grass would look like waving corn dogs. Yes, they would.
"No, I don't think grass is eata- Pip? WHAT are you doing?." Merry stared at Pippin, who started to eat the nearest blade of grass.
"Eating a coorrrrrnn dog!!!! You should try it Merry! It's gooood."
"That's.grass.Pippin.I don't know..if grass is part of our diet.we're still on a diet, you know.Pippin?.Hellooooo?." Merry waved his hand in front of Pippin's face as Pippin passed out from semi-malnutrition, "Polka Dotted!! YOU KILLED PIPPIN!! *sob*"
"My name is ARAGORN, not POLKA-DOTTED! I didn't KILL Pippin! You over- exaggerated hobbits.jeezus.always over-exaggerating everything." Aragorn the Polka-Dotted said, letting out an exasperated sigh.
"We SHOULD take a rest you know.this wind.it's messing up my hair." Legolas sat down next to Merry and began unpacking his Con-air Hair Straightner. He then took out a mirror.
"*GASP* ARAGORN! GIVE ME BACK MY TWEEZER! YOU SEE THIS? THIS -HAS- TO BE FIXED!" Legolas pointed at his seemingly perfect eyebrows.
"I don't HAVE your tweezers! I told you! You need to fix what?" Aragorn blinked.
"THIS!"
"What's 'THIS!'? I don't see anything wrong."
"YOU DON'T SEE ANYTHING WRONG? AN EYEBROW HAIR IS OUT OF PLACE, THAT'S WHAT I SEE!"
"Where?"
"WHERE? YOU'RE ASKING WHERE? RIGHT HERE!"
"Right where?"
"AUGHH! RIGHT HERE!"
"YOU GUYS! PIPPIN IS DYING! DYING! ARE YOU'RE ARGUING ABOUT A MISPLACED EYEBROW HAIR?" Merry was near tears.
"WELL, YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND! SEE YOUR HAIR?? UGH!"
"UGHH? YOUR HAIR IS UGH!"
"-MY- HAIR IS UGH?? HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT! YOU'RE THE UGH ONE!"
"I'M NOT UGH! YOU'RE UGHH!"
"*GASP* I AM SO NOT UGHH! YOU'RE UGHH!"
"WILL YOU GUYS STOP WITH THE UGHH'S! IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS!" Gandalf screamed.
"_" the Staff added.
"NO!" And so Legolas and Merry continued on with their endless "UGHH"s.
"ARGH! STOP THIS RACKET! ThisisreallyreallygettingtomeandIcan'tstanditanylongerbecauseI'manisolationi standleavemealoneleavemealoneleavemealoooooooonnnnnnneeeeeeee.." Frodo was STILL rocking back and forth, muttering to whoever would listen. Which was no one.
"ARGH! We're gonna move on so you can all shut up now!" Aragorn the Polka-Dotted yelled.
"YEEK!"
"What was that??" Legolas looked wildly around.
"Me!" Pippin magically recovered.
"YOU'RE ALIVE!" Merry ran over and hugged him.
"Duh." Pippin said.
"What's a 'YEEK!'?" Sam asked. (ooo! Look, it's Sam finally.)
"I don't know.what IS a 'YEEK!'?" Aragorn scratched his head (eww.think of the dandruff.*shudders*)
"Let us ponder." Gandalf made everyone sit down.
*a few minutes later*
"I have no clue whatsoever."
"What were we pondering again?"
"*blink*"
"Uhh.a quack that.ducks make?.maybe?."
"I know! It's a.noise!" Gandalf triumphantly exclaimed.
"Wow.WHAT an observation." Sam rolled his eyes.
"Okeedokey." Aragorn whipped out a map from his back pocket, "Next stop:.."
"McDonald's?" Pippin suggested.
"NO! Next stop is.is.I can't really read this.is.is..UilloH? Gandalf? What's UilloH? I never heard of it." Aragorn confusedly pressed his nose into the map (and blew.j/k! eww.that'd be nasty.ok, moving on.)
"What?? UilloH? What the-" Gandalf shuffled over and snatched the map from Aragorn.
"YOU POLKA-DOTTED FOOL! IT'S UPSIDE DOWN! WE'RE GOING TO HOLLIN! NOT UILLOH! IDIOT!" Gandalf began ranting.
"So.is he supposed to be our guide for the rest of this trip?" Sam poked Legolas, pointing at Aragorn.
"*sigh* Yeah." Legolas looked depressed.
"Do you think we'll ever get to Hollin if he's our guide?"
"Not in a million years."
********************************************************
Wasn't this chapter lame?..Yeah, I thought so too. Sorry! My brain is at some freezing point right now.next chapter will be better!
randomwriter96
Disclaimer: meh. I own.this story. But not the characters in it, mind you. *pause* I wish though.
Btw~ *blinkblink* Wow.42 reviews.I'm amazed.Thank you!!! You know who you are.
Alas, I'm eating nothing at the moment. But you really didn't need to know that. My hands are freezing cold, too. You didn't need to know that either.
******************************************************** [Fellowship in.somewhere-that's-not-an-open-field! It is an.open PLAIN! How exciting.]
"All I see is grass, Merry.is grass eatable? Polka-Dotted won't let me have another apple.poopie butthead!" Pippin, nearly dying of starvation, collapsed in the wiiiiidddeee open plain, filled with long, tall, stalks of grass. In fact, if YOU were dying of starvation, the grass would look like waving corn dogs. Yes, they would.
"No, I don't think grass is eata- Pip? WHAT are you doing?." Merry stared at Pippin, who started to eat the nearest blade of grass.
"Eating a coorrrrrnn dog!!!! You should try it Merry! It's gooood."
"That's.grass.Pippin.I don't know..if grass is part of our diet.we're still on a diet, you know.Pippin?.Hellooooo?." Merry waved his hand in front of Pippin's face as Pippin passed out from semi-malnutrition, "Polka Dotted!! YOU KILLED PIPPIN!! *sob*"
"My name is ARAGORN, not POLKA-DOTTED! I didn't KILL Pippin! You over- exaggerated hobbits.jeezus.always over-exaggerating everything." Aragorn the Polka-Dotted said, letting out an exasperated sigh.
"We SHOULD take a rest you know.this wind.it's messing up my hair." Legolas sat down next to Merry and began unpacking his Con-air Hair Straightner. He then took out a mirror.
"*GASP* ARAGORN! GIVE ME BACK MY TWEEZER! YOU SEE THIS? THIS -HAS- TO BE FIXED!" Legolas pointed at his seemingly perfect eyebrows.
"I don't HAVE your tweezers! I told you! You need to fix what?" Aragorn blinked.
"THIS!"
"What's 'THIS!'? I don't see anything wrong."
"YOU DON'T SEE ANYTHING WRONG? AN EYEBROW HAIR IS OUT OF PLACE, THAT'S WHAT I SEE!"
"Where?"
"WHERE? YOU'RE ASKING WHERE? RIGHT HERE!"
"Right where?"
"AUGHH! RIGHT HERE!"
"YOU GUYS! PIPPIN IS DYING! DYING! ARE YOU'RE ARGUING ABOUT A MISPLACED EYEBROW HAIR?" Merry was near tears.
"WELL, YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND! SEE YOUR HAIR?? UGH!"
"UGHH? YOUR HAIR IS UGH!"
"-MY- HAIR IS UGH?? HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT! YOU'RE THE UGH ONE!"
"I'M NOT UGH! YOU'RE UGHH!"
"*GASP* I AM SO NOT UGHH! YOU'RE UGHH!"
"WILL YOU GUYS STOP WITH THE UGHH'S! IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS!" Gandalf screamed.
"_" the Staff added.
"NO!" And so Legolas and Merry continued on with their endless "UGHH"s.
"ARGH! STOP THIS RACKET! ThisisreallyreallygettingtomeandIcan'tstanditanylongerbecauseI'manisolationi standleavemealoneleavemealoneleavemealoooooooonnnnnnneeeeeeee.." Frodo was STILL rocking back and forth, muttering to whoever would listen. Which was no one.
"ARGH! We're gonna move on so you can all shut up now!" Aragorn the Polka-Dotted yelled.
"YEEK!"
"What was that??" Legolas looked wildly around.
"Me!" Pippin magically recovered.
"YOU'RE ALIVE!" Merry ran over and hugged him.
"Duh." Pippin said.
"What's a 'YEEK!'?" Sam asked. (ooo! Look, it's Sam finally.)
"I don't know.what IS a 'YEEK!'?" Aragorn scratched his head (eww.think of the dandruff.*shudders*)
"Let us ponder." Gandalf made everyone sit down.
*a few minutes later*
"I have no clue whatsoever."
"What were we pondering again?"
"*blink*"
"Uhh.a quack that.ducks make?.maybe?."
"I know! It's a.noise!" Gandalf triumphantly exclaimed.
"Wow.WHAT an observation." Sam rolled his eyes.
"Okeedokey." Aragorn whipped out a map from his back pocket, "Next stop:.."
"McDonald's?" Pippin suggested.
"NO! Next stop is.is.I can't really read this.is.is..UilloH? Gandalf? What's UilloH? I never heard of it." Aragorn confusedly pressed his nose into the map (and blew.j/k! eww.that'd be nasty.ok, moving on.)
"What?? UilloH? What the-" Gandalf shuffled over and snatched the map from Aragorn.
"YOU POLKA-DOTTED FOOL! IT'S UPSIDE DOWN! WE'RE GOING TO HOLLIN! NOT UILLOH! IDIOT!" Gandalf began ranting.
"So.is he supposed to be our guide for the rest of this trip?" Sam poked Legolas, pointing at Aragorn.
"*sigh* Yeah." Legolas looked depressed.
"Do you think we'll ever get to Hollin if he's our guide?"
"Not in a million years."
********************************************************
Wasn't this chapter lame?..Yeah, I thought so too. Sorry! My brain is at some freezing point right now.next chapter will be better!