The great hall was alive with buzzing and colorful fairies, slightly scented candles, music, food,
students and laughter.
From straight across the hall I could see you; your flame-colored hair, the freckles
scattered over your pale cheeks, those twinkling blue eyes, and that tall, skinny body. You stood with Harry as you both munched on sweets, but when I entered you immediately looked up and
saw me. You crossed over to me through the crowd.
" 'Mione!" You flashed that wide grin, allowing your hand to brush over mine. My heart jumped and my fingers began to tingle. "Hey!"
"Hi, Ron!" I managed to squeak.
"You wanna dance?" You asked. Did you really just say that?! All I could do was nod. You reached out for my hand and led me to the dance floor as a slow song began.
~You give your hand to me
And then you say hello
And I can hardly speak
My heart is beating so~
Slipping a strong arm around my waist, I could just feel my cheeks burning. You didn't seem to notice. Instead, you began an attempt at conversation.
"End of the year...a ball is a great way to end it, huh?" Your smooth voice washed over me.
"Yeah, it is. I can't wait for my interviews next week, it's just so exciting to be starting out our jobs and everything, isn't it?" I babbled. Why did I say that?! I sounded like a work-aholic before I had even started a job. I mentally kicked myself again and again.
And then you laughed. I love your laugh, the one where you throw your head back and all of your teeth show, and I can even see the silver fillings at the back of your mouth. I giggled along, unaware of all the couples around us, wondering why we were dancing if we were just friends.
"That's just like you, 'Mione."
~ And anyone can tell
You think you know me well
But you don't know me~
I had been in my dorm for hours and hours getting ready for our graduation ball. My dress, with many magical alterations, was now perfect, a very deep blue, long and flowing, bare in back, with rhinestones scattered all over. My hair was in a curly, elegant updo, a few tendrils about my face, and the silver star necklace you gave me last Christmas. Of course, I didn't look like what you would call "'Mione" , but I suppose that was the point. Sort of like a desperate hint of who I really am.
~No you don't know the one
That dreams of you at night
And longs to kiss your lips
Longs to hold you tight~
I so wanted to tell you tonight...to tell you everything on my mind, to tell you I knew I loved you right from that day I met you on the train. You had a smudge on your face, wearing
hand-me-down robes, with an old rat in your lap. I remember, in our second year, when we were alone in the library and spent forever talking instead of searching for the polyjuice potion. And in our fourth year, when I was so tired of waiting around for you I went for Krum, and how jealous you were. I thought I was the luckiest girl alive, but who knows? That was three years ago...I know you don't think of me as more than a friend now. I even remember last year, when you and Harry joked around for a week about being gay for a week, but I still cried about it in my dorm for days on end.
I wanted to tell you all of that. I wanted you to know everything about the real Hermione.
There's so much that you don't know. So much I'll never get the chance to tell you.
I want to. I would love to.
A new song comes on, this time a fast one, but you take me over to the table where Harry is with Parvati. We begin to eat, and slowly the group grows larger, with Padma, then Justin and Hannah, and Lavender, Neville, Dean and Seamus, then a few more ravenclaw boys, a couple slytherin girls and then before I know it, the huge crowd has moved back to the dance floor and I can't find you. I wonder, if I told you, would you ever leave my side?
~Oh I am just a friend
That's all I've ever been
'Cause you don't know me~
Two hands are suddenly around my waist, and when I feel myself get goosebumps I know it's you before I even turn around. Almost like my body is trained to know your touch. Around me everyone is making their way back to the tables. I just look up into your smiling face and you look into my eyes, I can feel a burning, like something indescribable is happening within this stare. I know this is the moment to tell you. I open my mouth, but the words stick in my throat. Just do it!
My head is screaming, but I can't. If I tell you, you'll laugh...or...or...you might not love me back.
And that would be worse than not telling you at all.
You break the stare and glance around. I notice with sadness that your hands have left my waist. What if I had said it? Only three little words. One syllable each! How hard can that be?!
But I know exactly how hard it is. Those three little words have wanted to come out for years.
~Afraid and shy
I let my chance go by
The chance that you might
love me too~
And so the night went on. I danced, I tried to smile, and I tried to laugh along with the
others. But it wasn't worth it, because my thoughts couldn't help but keep wandering back to you.
7 years ago I had met you. It seemed like such a long time, it's no wonder I could never tell you. The more time went by, the closer we got, the harder it was for me to understand my feelings for you. How could things get in such a mess?
Pushing those thoughts out of my head, or at least trying to, I found my way to the nearest bathroom. Pushing open the heavy door, I took a few steps to the mirrors.
There, in the mirror, I couldn't see 'Mione. All I saw was Hermione, the one who loved Ron. Her heart ached so much for him, aching for him to see her secret. She wanted to tell him
how she loved him, and find out that he loved her in return. There wasn't a lot she didn't tell him,
but what she didn't was big.
I inched to the side to look in another mirror. In that mirror stood 'Mione. She was Ron's best friend, nothing more, with another love life. With other guys, like Krum. She could tell Ron
everything.
Frustrated, I whirled around, hot tears stinging in my eyes, and banged out of the
bathroom.
In the warm corridor, lit by candles, I was all alone. I let my back rest against the stone wall behind me as I closed my eyes, fighting back the tears, and I only opened them back up when I was sure they were gone.
I just turned around when I heard footsteps behind me. "'Mione!" Your voice called, ringing through the corridor.
I looked straight into your eyes for the second time that night. Once again, your hand
found mine, but this time you kept it there. A smile crept over your face and you cocked your head to the side.
"I'm leaving now, OK, 'Mione?" You asked.
I looked down, breaking the stare, but immediately looked back up. "Ron- there's
something I have to tell you..." I started, drawing a heart on the dusty floor with my shoe.
Your eyes looked questioning. "Yeah?"
"I-I'll miss you." I stammered. I missed it again.
You smiled again. "I'm gonna miss you too. Hey, how about you come and visit me some time?" You offered.
"Yeah. Yeah, sure, that sounds great." I replied, my gaze returning to the floor.
Your hands still held mine safely.
~You give your hand to me
And then you say good-bye
I watch you walk away
Beside the 'lucky guy'~
"Hey, Ronnikins!" Another voice shouted from down the hall. You turned and chuckled when you saw Harry approaching us.
"My lover's calling." You rolled your eyes.
"It's time to go. You're mum's waiting outside." Harry continued.
Ron nodded. "Alright, then. I guess I'd better go. " You said to me.
I nodded. "Bye."
You leaned forward and gave me a quick peck on the cheek, sending shivers up my spine.
You dropped my hands and quickly pivoted to walk down the corridor with Harry.
My hand reached up to my cheek, still tingling.
~You give your hand to me
And then you say goodbye
I watch you walk away
Beside the 'lucky guy'
Oh you will never know
the one who loves you so~
You turned one last time before you reached the end of the corridor and gave me a wave. I waved back, as 'Mione. But as soon as you turned your back, Hermione blew a kiss.
~Cuz you don't know me~
students and laughter.
From straight across the hall I could see you; your flame-colored hair, the freckles
scattered over your pale cheeks, those twinkling blue eyes, and that tall, skinny body. You stood with Harry as you both munched on sweets, but when I entered you immediately looked up and
saw me. You crossed over to me through the crowd.
" 'Mione!" You flashed that wide grin, allowing your hand to brush over mine. My heart jumped and my fingers began to tingle. "Hey!"
"Hi, Ron!" I managed to squeak.
"You wanna dance?" You asked. Did you really just say that?! All I could do was nod. You reached out for my hand and led me to the dance floor as a slow song began.
~You give your hand to me
And then you say hello
And I can hardly speak
My heart is beating so~
Slipping a strong arm around my waist, I could just feel my cheeks burning. You didn't seem to notice. Instead, you began an attempt at conversation.
"End of the year...a ball is a great way to end it, huh?" Your smooth voice washed over me.
"Yeah, it is. I can't wait for my interviews next week, it's just so exciting to be starting out our jobs and everything, isn't it?" I babbled. Why did I say that?! I sounded like a work-aholic before I had even started a job. I mentally kicked myself again and again.
And then you laughed. I love your laugh, the one where you throw your head back and all of your teeth show, and I can even see the silver fillings at the back of your mouth. I giggled along, unaware of all the couples around us, wondering why we were dancing if we were just friends.
"That's just like you, 'Mione."
~ And anyone can tell
You think you know me well
But you don't know me~
I had been in my dorm for hours and hours getting ready for our graduation ball. My dress, with many magical alterations, was now perfect, a very deep blue, long and flowing, bare in back, with rhinestones scattered all over. My hair was in a curly, elegant updo, a few tendrils about my face, and the silver star necklace you gave me last Christmas. Of course, I didn't look like what you would call "'Mione" , but I suppose that was the point. Sort of like a desperate hint of who I really am.
~No you don't know the one
That dreams of you at night
And longs to kiss your lips
Longs to hold you tight~
I so wanted to tell you tonight...to tell you everything on my mind, to tell you I knew I loved you right from that day I met you on the train. You had a smudge on your face, wearing
hand-me-down robes, with an old rat in your lap. I remember, in our second year, when we were alone in the library and spent forever talking instead of searching for the polyjuice potion. And in our fourth year, when I was so tired of waiting around for you I went for Krum, and how jealous you were. I thought I was the luckiest girl alive, but who knows? That was three years ago...I know you don't think of me as more than a friend now. I even remember last year, when you and Harry joked around for a week about being gay for a week, but I still cried about it in my dorm for days on end.
I wanted to tell you all of that. I wanted you to know everything about the real Hermione.
There's so much that you don't know. So much I'll never get the chance to tell you.
I want to. I would love to.
A new song comes on, this time a fast one, but you take me over to the table where Harry is with Parvati. We begin to eat, and slowly the group grows larger, with Padma, then Justin and Hannah, and Lavender, Neville, Dean and Seamus, then a few more ravenclaw boys, a couple slytherin girls and then before I know it, the huge crowd has moved back to the dance floor and I can't find you. I wonder, if I told you, would you ever leave my side?
~Oh I am just a friend
That's all I've ever been
'Cause you don't know me~
Two hands are suddenly around my waist, and when I feel myself get goosebumps I know it's you before I even turn around. Almost like my body is trained to know your touch. Around me everyone is making their way back to the tables. I just look up into your smiling face and you look into my eyes, I can feel a burning, like something indescribable is happening within this stare. I know this is the moment to tell you. I open my mouth, but the words stick in my throat. Just do it!
My head is screaming, but I can't. If I tell you, you'll laugh...or...or...you might not love me back.
And that would be worse than not telling you at all.
You break the stare and glance around. I notice with sadness that your hands have left my waist. What if I had said it? Only three little words. One syllable each! How hard can that be?!
But I know exactly how hard it is. Those three little words have wanted to come out for years.
~Afraid and shy
I let my chance go by
The chance that you might
love me too~
And so the night went on. I danced, I tried to smile, and I tried to laugh along with the
others. But it wasn't worth it, because my thoughts couldn't help but keep wandering back to you.
7 years ago I had met you. It seemed like such a long time, it's no wonder I could never tell you. The more time went by, the closer we got, the harder it was for me to understand my feelings for you. How could things get in such a mess?
Pushing those thoughts out of my head, or at least trying to, I found my way to the nearest bathroom. Pushing open the heavy door, I took a few steps to the mirrors.
There, in the mirror, I couldn't see 'Mione. All I saw was Hermione, the one who loved Ron. Her heart ached so much for him, aching for him to see her secret. She wanted to tell him
how she loved him, and find out that he loved her in return. There wasn't a lot she didn't tell him,
but what she didn't was big.
I inched to the side to look in another mirror. In that mirror stood 'Mione. She was Ron's best friend, nothing more, with another love life. With other guys, like Krum. She could tell Ron
everything.
Frustrated, I whirled around, hot tears stinging in my eyes, and banged out of the
bathroom.
In the warm corridor, lit by candles, I was all alone. I let my back rest against the stone wall behind me as I closed my eyes, fighting back the tears, and I only opened them back up when I was sure they were gone.
I just turned around when I heard footsteps behind me. "'Mione!" Your voice called, ringing through the corridor.
I looked straight into your eyes for the second time that night. Once again, your hand
found mine, but this time you kept it there. A smile crept over your face and you cocked your head to the side.
"I'm leaving now, OK, 'Mione?" You asked.
I looked down, breaking the stare, but immediately looked back up. "Ron- there's
something I have to tell you..." I started, drawing a heart on the dusty floor with my shoe.
Your eyes looked questioning. "Yeah?"
"I-I'll miss you." I stammered. I missed it again.
You smiled again. "I'm gonna miss you too. Hey, how about you come and visit me some time?" You offered.
"Yeah. Yeah, sure, that sounds great." I replied, my gaze returning to the floor.
Your hands still held mine safely.
~You give your hand to me
And then you say good-bye
I watch you walk away
Beside the 'lucky guy'~
"Hey, Ronnikins!" Another voice shouted from down the hall. You turned and chuckled when you saw Harry approaching us.
"My lover's calling." You rolled your eyes.
"It's time to go. You're mum's waiting outside." Harry continued.
Ron nodded. "Alright, then. I guess I'd better go. " You said to me.
I nodded. "Bye."
You leaned forward and gave me a quick peck on the cheek, sending shivers up my spine.
You dropped my hands and quickly pivoted to walk down the corridor with Harry.
My hand reached up to my cheek, still tingling.
~You give your hand to me
And then you say goodbye
I watch you walk away
Beside the 'lucky guy'
Oh you will never know
the one who loves you so~
You turned one last time before you reached the end of the corridor and gave me a wave. I waved back, as 'Mione. But as soon as you turned your back, Hermione blew a kiss.
~Cuz you don't know me~