ANTI-DEPRESSANT FUNNESS!!!
randomwriter96
Disclaimer: Nope. I STILL don't own LOTR.
Btw~ Thank you for the reviews!!! Ya know who you are.
Note to julia: Oh, you don't need to question my sanity. ^_^ I am indeed insane.
******************************************************** [Fellowship presently walking out of Lothlorien.quickly. Heading towards those boats to go to the river Anduin. Yay.]
"Uh.yeah Lady.we.umm.really need to get.going." Aragorn said haltingly, for he was still traumatized by the horrible horrible video.
"Nonsense! You can't go yet!!" Lady Gaddy exclaimed.
Fellowship: O_O
"I have gifts for you!" Lady Gaddy smiled.
"Uh oh." Merry was magically recovered and back from the hospital wing. The rest of the Fellowship winced, save Pippin who was jumping up and down in delight.
"Ooo! What do we get? What do we get?"
"Don't be THAT excited! You forget I'm on a budget," Lady Gaddy said.
"Oh.umm.darn," Aragorn tried contorting his face to a face of sympathy. It didn't work.
"ARAGORN! You first," Lady Gaddy motioned him to come closer.
".I like the place where I'm standing now.umm.thank you.grass.very soft right here." Aragorn jumped up and down to prove his point.
"I SAID Aragorn, you first!"
"Just go, Aragorn! The faster we get our.er.gifts, the faster we can get out of here!" Legolas hissed.
"Alrite, alrite." Aragorn reluctantly shuffled over to Lady Gaddy and held out his hands.
"You get.a sheath for your sword!" Lady Gaddy snapped her fingers. All the surrounding elf guards automatically clapped their hands. Aragorn peered at what she put in his hands: a cardboard sheath? Okaaay.well, it could be useful when they run out of firewood, anyway.
"Boromir, you next! Hurry it up people, just get in line! I don't have all day." Lady Gaddy presented a beautiful.gold-foil belt? Boromir just blinked and reluctantly put it on as the Lady instructed him to do so.
"Lightweight, isn't it?" Lady Gaddy said right after Boromir put his belt on. Boromir just nodded slowly. Then she presented two aluminum-foil belts with gold-foil flowers on them to Pippin and Merry.
"Ohhh! They're so pretty!" Pippin put his on immediately. Merry inspected his belt thoroughly to make sure the Lady didn't hide any disgusting films in it. Merry pronounced his satisfaction by putting it in his pack.not too carefully, either.
"Legolas! You next! Move your feet! C'mon!" Lady Gaddy presented Legolas with a brand-new plastic bow and suction cup arrows.
"Uhh.thank you, Lady.I'm sure they'll come in handy.someday." Legolas forced a smile. Next, Lady Gaddy gave Sam a box of "special" dirt.
"It's dirt!" Lady Gaddy stated the obvious, "For um.when you need it! Off you go." Sam just stared at his box.
"Hey! You! Umm.. Forgot your name.. Dwarf! Yes, you!" Lady Gaddy gave Gimli three strands of her own hair, "I don't know why you would want this, but hey, if I ever die, which I'm pretty sure I won't, these will be worth a lot.I think," Gimli raised one eyebrow and shoved the three strands of hair in his pocket.
"And, you, Ringbearer (because I also forgot your name.it was Frogo, wasn't it?)!" Lady Gaddy held her present for Frodo behind her back, "I am giving you something VERY special of mine!" Frodo was afraid.
"What is it?" He asked when she put what looked like a perfume bottle in his hands.
"I call it the Essence of Galadriel," She beamed.
Fellowship: O_O;;
"I don't even want to know," Aragorn said.
"May it prove useful!" Lady Gaddy waved as they were led away by a sentry of elves towards a dock.
"Ooo! We get boats?" Pippin exclaimed, eyeing the small, white boats that floated by the dock.
"Hey.Arwen said we'd be getting motor boats!" Aragorn complained.
"Didn't the Lady tell you she was on a budget?" An elf guard let out an exasperated sigh.
"Oh.yeah."Aragorn said depressingly.
"So.get on already!" the elf guard said, shooing them into the boats.
"I.don't.like.boats." Sam looked ready to throw up.
"Hey hey hey! Don't throw up on the boats! They were only 20% off!" the elf guard looked frightened. Sam nodded, still feeling queasy. Frodo huddled on the corner of his boat.
"Yay.more room for me." Aragorn muttered to himself.
"Oh right.before I forget.here are your paddles!" the elf guard presented white paddles (plastic of course), "May they help guide you along the raging rivers of the Anduin!" Then, suddenly, all the elves disappeared. (Not disappear into thin air.they just.disappeared into the forest.oh, never mind.)
"Did he just say we're supposed to use THESE?" Boromir banged his plastic paddle on the side of the boat.
"You really shouldn't have done that." Legolas said.
"Done what?"
"Hit your boat,"
"Why not? These paddles are plastic! PLASTIC!"
"Well, now you have a dent on the side of your boat."
"WHAT??" Boromir leaned over to check.
"Boromir.your boat.umm.you're going to-" Legolas started. SPLASH! Boromir was too heavy and the boat tipped over, "-fall."
"HEELLPP! WE'RE GOING TO DROWN!" Pippin and Merry thrashed around in the water.
"I'll save you!" Aragorn dug through his pack for rope, "Nope! Sorry, I don't have rope.I have a hot pink.VIDEO TAPE? HOW DID THAT GET IN HERE?" Aragorn shrieked and threw it in the river.
"Oh, for crying out loud! You can stand in this.river.if it's called a river," Boromir looked at the 3 feet deep "river" he was standing in.
"Oh look Merry! We CAN stand! Look look! I'm standing!!" Pippin danced.
"I would call you brilliant if I haven't discovered that already." Merry rolled his eyes.
"Oh, c'mon! Let's just go!" Legolas sighed. As soon as Boromir, Pippin, and Merry got back on their boat, they started off.
"Paddle left, paddle right, paddle left, paddle right, paddle rift, paddle leght.wait, that's not right." Aragorn was trying to follow the paddling patterns that Legolas taught him. Legolas slapped his forehead and kept on paddling.
"THIS is going to be a loooong day." He said, sounding weary already. Gimli just nodded.
Little did the Fellowship know that the horrible video tape was floating after them.
********************************************************
Review! You know you want to.please?
randomwriter96
Disclaimer: Nope. I STILL don't own LOTR.
Btw~ Thank you for the reviews!!! Ya know who you are.
Note to julia: Oh, you don't need to question my sanity. ^_^ I am indeed insane.
******************************************************** [Fellowship presently walking out of Lothlorien.quickly. Heading towards those boats to go to the river Anduin. Yay.]
"Uh.yeah Lady.we.umm.really need to get.going." Aragorn said haltingly, for he was still traumatized by the horrible horrible video.
"Nonsense! You can't go yet!!" Lady Gaddy exclaimed.
Fellowship: O_O
"I have gifts for you!" Lady Gaddy smiled.
"Uh oh." Merry was magically recovered and back from the hospital wing. The rest of the Fellowship winced, save Pippin who was jumping up and down in delight.
"Ooo! What do we get? What do we get?"
"Don't be THAT excited! You forget I'm on a budget," Lady Gaddy said.
"Oh.umm.darn," Aragorn tried contorting his face to a face of sympathy. It didn't work.
"ARAGORN! You first," Lady Gaddy motioned him to come closer.
".I like the place where I'm standing now.umm.thank you.grass.very soft right here." Aragorn jumped up and down to prove his point.
"I SAID Aragorn, you first!"
"Just go, Aragorn! The faster we get our.er.gifts, the faster we can get out of here!" Legolas hissed.
"Alrite, alrite." Aragorn reluctantly shuffled over to Lady Gaddy and held out his hands.
"You get.a sheath for your sword!" Lady Gaddy snapped her fingers. All the surrounding elf guards automatically clapped their hands. Aragorn peered at what she put in his hands: a cardboard sheath? Okaaay.well, it could be useful when they run out of firewood, anyway.
"Boromir, you next! Hurry it up people, just get in line! I don't have all day." Lady Gaddy presented a beautiful.gold-foil belt? Boromir just blinked and reluctantly put it on as the Lady instructed him to do so.
"Lightweight, isn't it?" Lady Gaddy said right after Boromir put his belt on. Boromir just nodded slowly. Then she presented two aluminum-foil belts with gold-foil flowers on them to Pippin and Merry.
"Ohhh! They're so pretty!" Pippin put his on immediately. Merry inspected his belt thoroughly to make sure the Lady didn't hide any disgusting films in it. Merry pronounced his satisfaction by putting it in his pack.not too carefully, either.
"Legolas! You next! Move your feet! C'mon!" Lady Gaddy presented Legolas with a brand-new plastic bow and suction cup arrows.
"Uhh.thank you, Lady.I'm sure they'll come in handy.someday." Legolas forced a smile. Next, Lady Gaddy gave Sam a box of "special" dirt.
"It's dirt!" Lady Gaddy stated the obvious, "For um.when you need it! Off you go." Sam just stared at his box.
"Hey! You! Umm.. Forgot your name.. Dwarf! Yes, you!" Lady Gaddy gave Gimli three strands of her own hair, "I don't know why you would want this, but hey, if I ever die, which I'm pretty sure I won't, these will be worth a lot.I think," Gimli raised one eyebrow and shoved the three strands of hair in his pocket.
"And, you, Ringbearer (because I also forgot your name.it was Frogo, wasn't it?)!" Lady Gaddy held her present for Frodo behind her back, "I am giving you something VERY special of mine!" Frodo was afraid.
"What is it?" He asked when she put what looked like a perfume bottle in his hands.
"I call it the Essence of Galadriel," She beamed.
Fellowship: O_O;;
"I don't even want to know," Aragorn said.
"May it prove useful!" Lady Gaddy waved as they were led away by a sentry of elves towards a dock.
"Ooo! We get boats?" Pippin exclaimed, eyeing the small, white boats that floated by the dock.
"Hey.Arwen said we'd be getting motor boats!" Aragorn complained.
"Didn't the Lady tell you she was on a budget?" An elf guard let out an exasperated sigh.
"Oh.yeah."Aragorn said depressingly.
"So.get on already!" the elf guard said, shooing them into the boats.
"I.don't.like.boats." Sam looked ready to throw up.
"Hey hey hey! Don't throw up on the boats! They were only 20% off!" the elf guard looked frightened. Sam nodded, still feeling queasy. Frodo huddled on the corner of his boat.
"Yay.more room for me." Aragorn muttered to himself.
"Oh right.before I forget.here are your paddles!" the elf guard presented white paddles (plastic of course), "May they help guide you along the raging rivers of the Anduin!" Then, suddenly, all the elves disappeared. (Not disappear into thin air.they just.disappeared into the forest.oh, never mind.)
"Did he just say we're supposed to use THESE?" Boromir banged his plastic paddle on the side of the boat.
"You really shouldn't have done that." Legolas said.
"Done what?"
"Hit your boat,"
"Why not? These paddles are plastic! PLASTIC!"
"Well, now you have a dent on the side of your boat."
"WHAT??" Boromir leaned over to check.
"Boromir.your boat.umm.you're going to-" Legolas started. SPLASH! Boromir was too heavy and the boat tipped over, "-fall."
"HEELLPP! WE'RE GOING TO DROWN!" Pippin and Merry thrashed around in the water.
"I'll save you!" Aragorn dug through his pack for rope, "Nope! Sorry, I don't have rope.I have a hot pink.VIDEO TAPE? HOW DID THAT GET IN HERE?" Aragorn shrieked and threw it in the river.
"Oh, for crying out loud! You can stand in this.river.if it's called a river," Boromir looked at the 3 feet deep "river" he was standing in.
"Oh look Merry! We CAN stand! Look look! I'm standing!!" Pippin danced.
"I would call you brilliant if I haven't discovered that already." Merry rolled his eyes.
"Oh, c'mon! Let's just go!" Legolas sighed. As soon as Boromir, Pippin, and Merry got back on their boat, they started off.
"Paddle left, paddle right, paddle left, paddle right, paddle rift, paddle leght.wait, that's not right." Aragorn was trying to follow the paddling patterns that Legolas taught him. Legolas slapped his forehead and kept on paddling.
"THIS is going to be a loooong day." He said, sounding weary already. Gimli just nodded.
Little did the Fellowship know that the horrible video tape was floating after them.
********************************************************
Review! You know you want to.please?