ANTI-DEPRESSANT FUNNESS!!!
randomwriter96
Disclaimer: Well.I own this story.a bit obvious, there.
Btw~ Ooo! I got more reviews! Thank you!!! Happy me.and you know what? When I'm happy, I'm prone to write more.so.see that pretty review button down there? I would love it if you clicked on that. =)
Note to Egon-Starcollector: The kind of soda I drink is.*dramatic pause*.none other than the wonderful Coke that sits in my basement.and is running out very quickly.I swear, the basement eats it.ok, never mind me.
******************************************************** [Fellowship on the river Anduin on their on-sale-20%-off little white boats, paddling with cheap plastic paddles. This should be fun.]
"So.why are we paddling down a river to nowhere again?" Pippin asked, tapping Boromir's shoulder for the gazillion-and-oneth time.
"Shut up.I'm paddling.don't ask me." Boromir was trying REALLY REALLY REALLY hard to keep his anger in. And so far he's doing pretty good. *waves Boromir flag*
"Why won't anyone answer my questions?." Pippin sniffed. (Aww.)
A few minutes pass by.
"Oh! Lookee Merry! Lookee lookee!" Merry was, however, currently engrossed in reading a book he found in Boromir's pack: How To Defend Yourself With A Shield! (must be an interesting read.)
"Merrryyyy..."
"Be quiet, Pippin! If it's another one of those FASCINATING water bugs, I'll make you eat it!" Boromir exclaimed, thwapping Pippin on the head with the plastic paddle.
"You shouldn't have done that."
"What NOW Legolas?"
"You kinda well.how to put this bluntly.bended your paddle,"
"ARRG! NOW I HAVE NO PADDLE!"
The rest of the Fellowship: Oo;;
"Pippin, you dolt!" Boromir screamed (almost makes him sound like a girl, eh?.*momentarily hides from any Boromir fans out there*).
"Hey! Wasn't my-uh oh," Pippin said. FWACK! (bet you never heard that one before) The boat collided with the sharp, pointy-rock wall that was on the side of the river. Merry didn't notice and continued reading.
"DUCT TAPE! I NEED DUCT TAPE!" Boromir cried flailing around in the water that was slowly (if not MENACINGLY.mwahahaha..) overtaking the boat. Magically, some duct tape appeared in Aragorn's pack and it was lobbed into Boromir's sinking boat. Somehow, the boat (as well as the paddle) was quickly fixed and was afloat again.
"Damn Elven boats." Boromir looked with deep disgust at his wet seat.
"*GASP* YOU TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW!" Legolas unfortunately heard.
"NO, I WON'T! THIS THING NEARLY CAUSED THE DEATH OF ME!" Boromir replied. The two kept fighting and bickering (while paddling.rather floating down the river.at the same time and lobbing random things at each other..like cheese, for example)
"YOU DID NOT JUST THROW CHEESE IN MY HAIR!" Legolas gasped, taking the cheese out and throwing it back in Boromir's boat, hitting his sword.
"*GASP!* YOU JUST MADE MY SWORD CHEESY! YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR THAT!" Boromir yelled while throwing the cheese in the water and brandishing his sword, waving it wildly.
"MAKE ME! I GOT ARROWS AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE THEM!" Legolas pulled out his quiver of arrows and pointing his bow in Boromir's direction for good.measure. Gimli just rolled his eyes and took Legolas's paddle and kept on rowing, as he saw that the faster they went, the faster they could get on land.somewhere.and eat some cooked food. He was getting hungry as was everyone else. Aragorn just stuffed beeswax (how he got beeswax? I don't know) in his ears so that Legolas doesn't damage his eardrums. Smart guy. Pippin looked on interestedly but spotted something horrible.something great and terrible looming up.(no, it's not Britney Spear's hot pink cruise ship, but hey, it coulda been).
"Heyyy..guys?.." Pippin started. Of course, no one heard him over the bickering and shouting and screaming and shrieking and threatening and ruckus- (I'll stop now) that Boromir and Legolas were making. A great white shark with the HOT PINK VIDEO TAPE (told you it'd be back. ^_^) stuck between its teeth came ever nearer to the Fellowship.
"I think that's a shark, guys.I think it wants to eat us, guys..guys? Hello?? Shark!!" Pippin yelled.
"Don't be such a sillywart Pippin. There are no sharks in rivers," Merry was on page 37: TIP #19-Now remember, hold the shield in FRONT of you.
"But.it's coming closer.it kinda looks evil." Pippin shrank back.
"BOROMIR, GROW UP!" Legolas cried.
"OHHH, MAKE ME! AT LEAST I'M NOT SOME NANCY PRANCY PRINCE! I'M A MANLY STEWARD!.ERR.STEWARD'S SON!" Boromir raged.
"Shark, guys.Sharkkkk!!" Pippin screeched, covering his face. Of course, no one was able to hear him.poor hobbit. Legolas just lobbed (I love that word) an arrow at Boromir when the shark raised itself up and tried to eat Boromir.but missed, splashing back into the water. Legolas's arrow JUST missed Boromir and hit the shark in the eye (I wonder how that could've happened.*innocent whistle*).
"I TOLD YOU ALL there was a shark..but noooo.no one listens to sillywart Pippin." Pippin sulked. The splash UNFORTUNATELY soaked Boromir's book.
"AHHH! THE BOOK'S WET! WHO DID THAT?" Merry looked up wildly.
*cue for the rolling of all eyes*
Aragorn just sat in his boat, limply holding his paddle, traumatized by what he just seen. "Aragorn?.ARAGORN!" Legolas grabbed back his paddle from Gimli, rowed over to Aragorn's boat, and yelled as loud as he could in Aragorn's ear. (And THAT'S gotta hurt.)
"AHHHHH! OWOWOW.what??" The beeswax from Aragorn's ears mysteriously disappeared (maybe the big splash of water forced them out..hmm..let's think about that one..I really gotta stop doing these comments in parentheses.I bet they're driving you nuts).
"Are you ok? It was only a shark."
"ONLY A SHARK? IT WAS THE SHARK OF DOOM!"
"What?"
"DID YOU SEE IT'S TEETH?"
"..no,"
"THE TAPE THE TAPE!"
"*gasp!* Don't tell me it ate the duct tape!!!" Boromir cried, woefully looking at a small hole that appeared at the side of his boat (above the water level though.so no worries.he's not gonna die.yet.mwahahahahaha..).
"NO! NO! PINK! PINKNESS!"
"What is Aragorn talking about?" Legolas looked confusedly at Boromir, their argument temporarily forgotten in the midst of Aragorn's.troubles. Boromir just shrugged, not really caring.
"Wait." Sam spoke up, trying to listen intently to Aragorn's incoherent babbling of terror, ".pink.tape.video.tape.pink.video.teeth.I think what he's trying to say is that he ate a pink video tape."
"Eww! Aragorn! How could you eat a video tape?? That's just.ugh! WHAT that could do to your digestive system, I don't even want to THINK about!" Legolas grimaced. Too late. Everyone pondered what that could do to Aragorn's digestive system.
"Oh, you fools. He means that the shark had the evil hot pink video tape of Galadriel stuck between its teeth!" a mystical disembodied voice said.
"Who said that? What? An evil hot pink video tape was stuck between Galadriel's teeth? What?" Legolas said. All heard a heavy exasperated sigh from above.
"No! Galadriel's evil hot pink video tape was stuck between the shark's teeth! Why am I doing this job? It doesn't even pay well.I'm going now.no more Mr. Nice-Disembodied-Voice.*click*"
"Ohh! I think I get it. Galadriel's evil hot pink video tape was stuck between the shark's teeth!" Legolas exclaimed proudly. Then he just realized what he just said, "AHH! THE VIDEO TAPE! NOOO!!"
"Don't tell me that..that..THE VIDEO TAPE IS HERE!" Boromir screamed, shutting his eyes and covering his ears (for no reason whatsoever). Aragorn still sat motionless and in shock.
"Oh, c'mon guys! We killed the shark! And-" Pippin started.
"I killed the shark," Legolas said.emphasizing the 'I' a little more than necessary.
"Yeah, whatever. We killed the shark so the tape is gone!" Pippin announced what he later called Pippin's Shark and Video Tape Theory. But let's not talk about that right now. The Fellowship took a full 5 seconds to think about this.
"Yay!!" They all celebrated joyously. Then they continued paddling down the river, again bringing up the argument between Boromir and Legolas (*sigh*.when will they ever learn.).
faint far-away-ish voices down the river
"Boromir.don't tell me you threw that cheese away.that was our dinner."
"What cheese?"
"The cheese that dirtied my hair!"
"I threw no chee- wait, I threw it.in the river. Yeah, that's what I did. Did you say it was our DINNER?.Well, if you told me in the first place."
"Great!!! Now we have no dinner! You never asked! See, Aragorn? See?? I TOLD you to entrust ME with the food, but noooo.HE gets to carry it because he didn't make fun of your ugly, distasteful polka dots.what do you mean 'there I go again'?."
glubglub
A tattered, but still living pink video tape floated ominously to the surface of the river.
********************************************************
randomwriter96
Disclaimer: Well.I own this story.a bit obvious, there.
Btw~ Ooo! I got more reviews! Thank you!!! Happy me.and you know what? When I'm happy, I'm prone to write more.so.see that pretty review button down there? I would love it if you clicked on that. =)
Note to Egon-Starcollector: The kind of soda I drink is.*dramatic pause*.none other than the wonderful Coke that sits in my basement.and is running out very quickly.I swear, the basement eats it.ok, never mind me.
******************************************************** [Fellowship on the river Anduin on their on-sale-20%-off little white boats, paddling with cheap plastic paddles. This should be fun.]
"So.why are we paddling down a river to nowhere again?" Pippin asked, tapping Boromir's shoulder for the gazillion-and-oneth time.
"Shut up.I'm paddling.don't ask me." Boromir was trying REALLY REALLY REALLY hard to keep his anger in. And so far he's doing pretty good. *waves Boromir flag*
"Why won't anyone answer my questions?." Pippin sniffed. (Aww.)
A few minutes pass by.
"Oh! Lookee Merry! Lookee lookee!" Merry was, however, currently engrossed in reading a book he found in Boromir's pack: How To Defend Yourself With A Shield! (must be an interesting read.)
"Merrryyyy..."
"Be quiet, Pippin! If it's another one of those FASCINATING water bugs, I'll make you eat it!" Boromir exclaimed, thwapping Pippin on the head with the plastic paddle.
"You shouldn't have done that."
"What NOW Legolas?"
"You kinda well.how to put this bluntly.bended your paddle,"
"ARRG! NOW I HAVE NO PADDLE!"
The rest of the Fellowship: Oo;;
"Pippin, you dolt!" Boromir screamed (almost makes him sound like a girl, eh?.*momentarily hides from any Boromir fans out there*).
"Hey! Wasn't my-uh oh," Pippin said. FWACK! (bet you never heard that one before) The boat collided with the sharp, pointy-rock wall that was on the side of the river. Merry didn't notice and continued reading.
"DUCT TAPE! I NEED DUCT TAPE!" Boromir cried flailing around in the water that was slowly (if not MENACINGLY.mwahahaha..) overtaking the boat. Magically, some duct tape appeared in Aragorn's pack and it was lobbed into Boromir's sinking boat. Somehow, the boat (as well as the paddle) was quickly fixed and was afloat again.
"Damn Elven boats." Boromir looked with deep disgust at his wet seat.
"*GASP* YOU TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW!" Legolas unfortunately heard.
"NO, I WON'T! THIS THING NEARLY CAUSED THE DEATH OF ME!" Boromir replied. The two kept fighting and bickering (while paddling.rather floating down the river.at the same time and lobbing random things at each other..like cheese, for example)
"YOU DID NOT JUST THROW CHEESE IN MY HAIR!" Legolas gasped, taking the cheese out and throwing it back in Boromir's boat, hitting his sword.
"*GASP!* YOU JUST MADE MY SWORD CHEESY! YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR THAT!" Boromir yelled while throwing the cheese in the water and brandishing his sword, waving it wildly.
"MAKE ME! I GOT ARROWS AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE THEM!" Legolas pulled out his quiver of arrows and pointing his bow in Boromir's direction for good.measure. Gimli just rolled his eyes and took Legolas's paddle and kept on rowing, as he saw that the faster they went, the faster they could get on land.somewhere.and eat some cooked food. He was getting hungry as was everyone else. Aragorn just stuffed beeswax (how he got beeswax? I don't know) in his ears so that Legolas doesn't damage his eardrums. Smart guy. Pippin looked on interestedly but spotted something horrible.something great and terrible looming up.(no, it's not Britney Spear's hot pink cruise ship, but hey, it coulda been).
"Heyyy..guys?.." Pippin started. Of course, no one heard him over the bickering and shouting and screaming and shrieking and threatening and ruckus- (I'll stop now) that Boromir and Legolas were making. A great white shark with the HOT PINK VIDEO TAPE (told you it'd be back. ^_^) stuck between its teeth came ever nearer to the Fellowship.
"I think that's a shark, guys.I think it wants to eat us, guys..guys? Hello?? Shark!!" Pippin yelled.
"Don't be such a sillywart Pippin. There are no sharks in rivers," Merry was on page 37: TIP #19-Now remember, hold the shield in FRONT of you.
"But.it's coming closer.it kinda looks evil." Pippin shrank back.
"BOROMIR, GROW UP!" Legolas cried.
"OHHH, MAKE ME! AT LEAST I'M NOT SOME NANCY PRANCY PRINCE! I'M A MANLY STEWARD!.ERR.STEWARD'S SON!" Boromir raged.
"Shark, guys.Sharkkkk!!" Pippin screeched, covering his face. Of course, no one was able to hear him.poor hobbit. Legolas just lobbed (I love that word) an arrow at Boromir when the shark raised itself up and tried to eat Boromir.but missed, splashing back into the water. Legolas's arrow JUST missed Boromir and hit the shark in the eye (I wonder how that could've happened.*innocent whistle*).
"I TOLD YOU ALL there was a shark..but noooo.no one listens to sillywart Pippin." Pippin sulked. The splash UNFORTUNATELY soaked Boromir's book.
"AHHH! THE BOOK'S WET! WHO DID THAT?" Merry looked up wildly.
*cue for the rolling of all eyes*
Aragorn just sat in his boat, limply holding his paddle, traumatized by what he just seen. "Aragorn?.ARAGORN!" Legolas grabbed back his paddle from Gimli, rowed over to Aragorn's boat, and yelled as loud as he could in Aragorn's ear. (And THAT'S gotta hurt.)
"AHHHHH! OWOWOW.what??" The beeswax from Aragorn's ears mysteriously disappeared (maybe the big splash of water forced them out..hmm..let's think about that one..I really gotta stop doing these comments in parentheses.I bet they're driving you nuts).
"Are you ok? It was only a shark."
"ONLY A SHARK? IT WAS THE SHARK OF DOOM!"
"What?"
"DID YOU SEE IT'S TEETH?"
"..no,"
"THE TAPE THE TAPE!"
"*gasp!* Don't tell me it ate the duct tape!!!" Boromir cried, woefully looking at a small hole that appeared at the side of his boat (above the water level though.so no worries.he's not gonna die.yet.mwahahahahaha..).
"NO! NO! PINK! PINKNESS!"
"What is Aragorn talking about?" Legolas looked confusedly at Boromir, their argument temporarily forgotten in the midst of Aragorn's.troubles. Boromir just shrugged, not really caring.
"Wait." Sam spoke up, trying to listen intently to Aragorn's incoherent babbling of terror, ".pink.tape.video.tape.pink.video.teeth.I think what he's trying to say is that he ate a pink video tape."
"Eww! Aragorn! How could you eat a video tape?? That's just.ugh! WHAT that could do to your digestive system, I don't even want to THINK about!" Legolas grimaced. Too late. Everyone pondered what that could do to Aragorn's digestive system.
"Oh, you fools. He means that the shark had the evil hot pink video tape of Galadriel stuck between its teeth!" a mystical disembodied voice said.
"Who said that? What? An evil hot pink video tape was stuck between Galadriel's teeth? What?" Legolas said. All heard a heavy exasperated sigh from above.
"No! Galadriel's evil hot pink video tape was stuck between the shark's teeth! Why am I doing this job? It doesn't even pay well.I'm going now.no more Mr. Nice-Disembodied-Voice.*click*"
"Ohh! I think I get it. Galadriel's evil hot pink video tape was stuck between the shark's teeth!" Legolas exclaimed proudly. Then he just realized what he just said, "AHH! THE VIDEO TAPE! NOOO!!"
"Don't tell me that..that..THE VIDEO TAPE IS HERE!" Boromir screamed, shutting his eyes and covering his ears (for no reason whatsoever). Aragorn still sat motionless and in shock.
"Oh, c'mon guys! We killed the shark! And-" Pippin started.
"I killed the shark," Legolas said.emphasizing the 'I' a little more than necessary.
"Yeah, whatever. We killed the shark so the tape is gone!" Pippin announced what he later called Pippin's Shark and Video Tape Theory. But let's not talk about that right now. The Fellowship took a full 5 seconds to think about this.
"Yay!!" They all celebrated joyously. Then they continued paddling down the river, again bringing up the argument between Boromir and Legolas (*sigh*.when will they ever learn.).
faint far-away-ish voices down the river
"Boromir.don't tell me you threw that cheese away.that was our dinner."
"What cheese?"
"The cheese that dirtied my hair!"
"I threw no chee- wait, I threw it.in the river. Yeah, that's what I did. Did you say it was our DINNER?.Well, if you told me in the first place."
"Great!!! Now we have no dinner! You never asked! See, Aragorn? See?? I TOLD you to entrust ME with the food, but noooo.HE gets to carry it because he didn't make fun of your ugly, distasteful polka dots.what do you mean 'there I go again'?."
glubglub
A tattered, but still living pink video tape floated ominously to the surface of the river.
********************************************************