ANTI-DEPRESSANT FUNNESS!!!
randomwriter96
Disclaimer: Well.I own this story.a bit obvious, there.
Btw~ Wow! I love all you reviewers! *waves a 'reviewers rule!' flag* Thank you!!! Ya know who you are.
Note: You all made me so happy! So I made a special chapter after this one! ^_^ But, uh, read this one first.please? (and it wouldn't hurt to click the pretty review button either.)
Another Note: Thank you to those who reviewed more than once! *waves to julia, Esteladuial, Egon-Starcollector, and any others that I shamefully missed*
******************************************************** [Fellowship STILL on the river Anduin on their on-sale-20%-off little white boats, paddling with cheap plastic paddles. Heading towards Amon Hen. Interesting.]
"You know, guys.according to this map, we're heading BACK to Lothlorien." Aragorn peered at his map. A few minutes later.
.an "AHH!" is heard from him.
"A bit slow there." Pippin muttered.
"One word comes to mind, Pippin, when you say that.can I say 'hypocrite'?" Merry scoffed. He was still ticked off about the wet book ("The shark could've ASKED whether I was done with the book or not.").
"Hippo-what?"
"Never mind, Pip."
"Aragorn, give me that map." Legolas paddled his boat near Aragorn's and snatched the map out of his hands. An exasperated sigh is soon heard.
"Upside down, Aragorn. It was UPSIDE-DOWN! How could we even be going back to Lothlorien when this river goes in one direction only??"
"How come my maps are ALWAYS upside-down?.Can they ever print them right?." Aragorn sulked.
"And it seems to me.that we will be reaching a waterfall shortly." Legolas examined the map while Gimli took up his paddle.again.
"Ooo! Waterfalls! I've always wanted to see waterfall rainbows and-" Pippin started joyously.
"I think.you misunderstand me, Pippin. The waterfall we will be reaching VERY shortly is going downwards," Legolas said.
"Well, duh! Waterfalls don't go upwards! Hence, waterFALLS."
"Nonono! Let me put it this way JUST for you..VERY VERY shortly, we'll be going OVER a waterfall," Legolas replied.
"AHHHH!"
"We're going to die!"
"I'M going to die!"
And other various screams rose up. Soon they stopped.
"I'll take that map back, THANK YOU!" Aragorn's boat scraped Legolas's boat and Aragorn snatched his map back.
"Well, right before there's that waterfall, Fall of Ra.Ru.Ruckus they seemed to have named it, we can paddle to shore onto.Amon.Neh? Henh?.Chicken?.Amon Chicken, people!"
"You scratched my boat!!! You'll pay for that..gimme that!" Again, Legolas snatched the map.
"AMON HEN, YOU DOLT!"
"Hen.Chicken.What's the difference??"
"For one, hen's got three letters and chicken's got-"
"Oh, shut up!!!" Boromir yelled, "IT. DOESN'T. MATTER!"
"Hen," Legolas hissed.
"Chicken," Aragorn whispered, retorting.
"Hen!"
"Chicken!"
"Ribbit!" a nearby frog added.
"I didn't ask YOU!" Legolas yelled at it.
"Whatever." Aragorn said, "Hey.lookit! Big statues of old men!"
"Who are they?" Legolas was confused.
"Duh! EVERYBODY knows! They are-" Aragorn whipped out notecards.then gave up trying to pronounce their names, "-my ancestors," Legolas just rolled his eyes. As they floated past.
"Eww.they need pedicures." Legolas winced as he rowed past the statues' gigantic feet. (I don't know how Gimli puts up with him in the same boat.Dwarves are special.I guess) It was Aragorn's turn to roll HIS eyes.
"Impressive," Boromir said passively, not even looking at the statues. They FINALLY rowed to shore onto Amon Chi- I mean, Hen.
"AUGH! I am so DIRTY! Must wash in the river." Legolas looked at his clothes, "Thank god I brought spare clothes with me."
"He ACTUALLY brings spare clothes with him?" Aragorn raised an eyebrow.something like this: o_O
"Well, I like to keep CLEAN, unlike SOME people who don't take baths within a time frame of 20 years."
"I DO TOO take baths! Last one I took was 8 months ag-" Aragorn stopped abruptly in surprise. Legolas finished stripping (don't we all love that word.) and dove into the river.
"Please tell me I didn't see that." Aragorn blinked furiously.
"But you did," Pippin appeared at his side, giving involuntary shudders.
"I know, I know!" Aragorn huddled under a tree.
"My.eyes.my.virgin.eyes." Boromir was frozen to the spot, traumatized by what he just seen.which was what Aragorn just saw.which you all know was Legolas.doing something he shouldn't do on a big screen in a movie theater. (We all know the janitors would have to paid over-time to clean up excess drool.)
"So.you ARE a virgin, then?" Pippin ventured. Boromir turned a beautiful tomato-ey red.
"Wh-what give you the right to ask???" He sputtered.
"Well, ARE you?" Aragorn eyed him questioningly (isn't that a cool word?.questioningly.that IS a word.isn't it?.).
"O-of course I am!..NOT!" Boromir suddenly became fascinated with the dirt beneath his feet.
"Let us change the subject, shall we?" said Aragorn.
"Let's," Pippin was getting bored.
"GAHHH! Is Legolas FLOATING on the River?? FLOATING UP? Tell me it's a log.tell me it's a log." Aragorn shrieked. (No more details, rabid fangirls.I'm NOT about to go there.so don't attack me with your.rabidness.)
"I'm not looking!!!" Boromir covered his eyes with his hands and hid himself behind his shield (that was TIP #27, by the way, from that one book.).
"Well.ahem.I can tell you, Aragorn, that it looks much more like Legolas than a log." Pippin said haltingly (weird.he must be traumatize- proofed.)
"THERAPIST! JUDY, I NEED MY THERAPIST!"
"Judy?" Merry spoke up.
"Sorry.my secretary.rather agent.no, just secretary."
"Therrrrrapist." Pippin, not having heard this important word before, tried to work the word out, "Therrr.apist.The..rapist..*GASP* Aragorn!! How could you be so evil?? You need a RAPIST? How could you?" Pippin whacked Aragorn with a.a stick.
"Wha- OW!!."
"Hey.guys.should we tell Legolas that he's going to float down the waterfall if he doesn't stop floating soon?" Sam said. (Ooo.we haven't heard from him in a while.Oh, don't worry, Frodo's.somewhere. He got enuff screentime on the movie, he gets less here.) The Fellowship paused to think about this.
"Well, he DOES make decent scrambled eggs." Merry said.
"But he stole my map!" Aragorn said indignantly (don't you love these -ly words?).
"Well, if he dies, I claim his suction-cup arrows!" Pippin smiled.
"Well, I claim his bow and you can't shoot without a bow, so there!" Merry stuck his tongue out.
"Well, I claim his QUIVER! And you can't shoot without ARROWS, now can you? CAN you?" Pippin shot back. ('Shot' back.heehee.annnnd I'm guessing that wasn't funny.)
"Oh, shut up!!!" (the infamous words of Boromir) Boromir said, tying a blindfold around his eyes, "I'll just go warn him but I don't want to SEE him.so be on the lookout, guys, and warn me if I'm going to smack into a-" SMACK! Boromir walked right into a tree, "-tree,"
"Oh never mind! Just let me scream." Pippin offered. (I feel a headache coming on.)
"Uh oh." the rest of the Fellowship plugged their ears wisely.except for Legolas.
"LEEGGGOOLLLLAASSS!!!!!"
"ACCKK!" SPLASH! Legolas stopped floating.
"Heehee.that was fun." Pippin giggled. The rest of the Fellowship glared at him.
"Owwowwow.my perfect, delicate, Elven-sense of hearing." Legolas dressed quickly (do I hear a 'dammit!' among you rabid fangirls?.no, I suppose not..) and rubbed his ears as he walked over to the Fellow-heck, just 'everyone else' will do. (We all established the fact that Gandalf's "dead" so he's not included with 'everyone else'. Riiiight? Poor left-out git.)
To be continued! (We're not done with Amon Chi- I mean, Hen yet.mwahahahaha..AND DON'T FORGET THE EVIL PINK VIDEO TAPE! You thought I forgot about that, didn't you?.heeheeheeeheee..oh, but I DIDN'T...)
(Well..*hinthint*...it JUST might depend on the reviews..you know you want to..)
********************************************************
randomwriter96
Disclaimer: Well.I own this story.a bit obvious, there.
Btw~ Wow! I love all you reviewers! *waves a 'reviewers rule!' flag* Thank you!!! Ya know who you are.
Note: You all made me so happy! So I made a special chapter after this one! ^_^ But, uh, read this one first.please? (and it wouldn't hurt to click the pretty review button either.)
Another Note: Thank you to those who reviewed more than once! *waves to julia, Esteladuial, Egon-Starcollector, and any others that I shamefully missed*
******************************************************** [Fellowship STILL on the river Anduin on their on-sale-20%-off little white boats, paddling with cheap plastic paddles. Heading towards Amon Hen. Interesting.]
"You know, guys.according to this map, we're heading BACK to Lothlorien." Aragorn peered at his map. A few minutes later.
.an "AHH!" is heard from him.
"A bit slow there." Pippin muttered.
"One word comes to mind, Pippin, when you say that.can I say 'hypocrite'?" Merry scoffed. He was still ticked off about the wet book ("The shark could've ASKED whether I was done with the book or not.").
"Hippo-what?"
"Never mind, Pip."
"Aragorn, give me that map." Legolas paddled his boat near Aragorn's and snatched the map out of his hands. An exasperated sigh is soon heard.
"Upside down, Aragorn. It was UPSIDE-DOWN! How could we even be going back to Lothlorien when this river goes in one direction only??"
"How come my maps are ALWAYS upside-down?.Can they ever print them right?." Aragorn sulked.
"And it seems to me.that we will be reaching a waterfall shortly." Legolas examined the map while Gimli took up his paddle.again.
"Ooo! Waterfalls! I've always wanted to see waterfall rainbows and-" Pippin started joyously.
"I think.you misunderstand me, Pippin. The waterfall we will be reaching VERY shortly is going downwards," Legolas said.
"Well, duh! Waterfalls don't go upwards! Hence, waterFALLS."
"Nonono! Let me put it this way JUST for you..VERY VERY shortly, we'll be going OVER a waterfall," Legolas replied.
"AHHHH!"
"We're going to die!"
"I'M going to die!"
And other various screams rose up. Soon they stopped.
"I'll take that map back, THANK YOU!" Aragorn's boat scraped Legolas's boat and Aragorn snatched his map back.
"Well, right before there's that waterfall, Fall of Ra.Ru.Ruckus they seemed to have named it, we can paddle to shore onto.Amon.Neh? Henh?.Chicken?.Amon Chicken, people!"
"You scratched my boat!!! You'll pay for that..gimme that!" Again, Legolas snatched the map.
"AMON HEN, YOU DOLT!"
"Hen.Chicken.What's the difference??"
"For one, hen's got three letters and chicken's got-"
"Oh, shut up!!!" Boromir yelled, "IT. DOESN'T. MATTER!"
"Hen," Legolas hissed.
"Chicken," Aragorn whispered, retorting.
"Hen!"
"Chicken!"
"Ribbit!" a nearby frog added.
"I didn't ask YOU!" Legolas yelled at it.
"Whatever." Aragorn said, "Hey.lookit! Big statues of old men!"
"Who are they?" Legolas was confused.
"Duh! EVERYBODY knows! They are-" Aragorn whipped out notecards.then gave up trying to pronounce their names, "-my ancestors," Legolas just rolled his eyes. As they floated past.
"Eww.they need pedicures." Legolas winced as he rowed past the statues' gigantic feet. (I don't know how Gimli puts up with him in the same boat.Dwarves are special.I guess) It was Aragorn's turn to roll HIS eyes.
"Impressive," Boromir said passively, not even looking at the statues. They FINALLY rowed to shore onto Amon Chi- I mean, Hen.
"AUGH! I am so DIRTY! Must wash in the river." Legolas looked at his clothes, "Thank god I brought spare clothes with me."
"He ACTUALLY brings spare clothes with him?" Aragorn raised an eyebrow.something like this: o_O
"Well, I like to keep CLEAN, unlike SOME people who don't take baths within a time frame of 20 years."
"I DO TOO take baths! Last one I took was 8 months ag-" Aragorn stopped abruptly in surprise. Legolas finished stripping (don't we all love that word.) and dove into the river.
"Please tell me I didn't see that." Aragorn blinked furiously.
"But you did," Pippin appeared at his side, giving involuntary shudders.
"I know, I know!" Aragorn huddled under a tree.
"My.eyes.my.virgin.eyes." Boromir was frozen to the spot, traumatized by what he just seen.which was what Aragorn just saw.which you all know was Legolas.doing something he shouldn't do on a big screen in a movie theater. (We all know the janitors would have to paid over-time to clean up excess drool.)
"So.you ARE a virgin, then?" Pippin ventured. Boromir turned a beautiful tomato-ey red.
"Wh-what give you the right to ask???" He sputtered.
"Well, ARE you?" Aragorn eyed him questioningly (isn't that a cool word?.questioningly.that IS a word.isn't it?.).
"O-of course I am!..NOT!" Boromir suddenly became fascinated with the dirt beneath his feet.
"Let us change the subject, shall we?" said Aragorn.
"Let's," Pippin was getting bored.
"GAHHH! Is Legolas FLOATING on the River?? FLOATING UP? Tell me it's a log.tell me it's a log." Aragorn shrieked. (No more details, rabid fangirls.I'm NOT about to go there.so don't attack me with your.rabidness.)
"I'm not looking!!!" Boromir covered his eyes with his hands and hid himself behind his shield (that was TIP #27, by the way, from that one book.).
"Well.ahem.I can tell you, Aragorn, that it looks much more like Legolas than a log." Pippin said haltingly (weird.he must be traumatize- proofed.)
"THERAPIST! JUDY, I NEED MY THERAPIST!"
"Judy?" Merry spoke up.
"Sorry.my secretary.rather agent.no, just secretary."
"Therrrrrapist." Pippin, not having heard this important word before, tried to work the word out, "Therrr.apist.The..rapist..*GASP* Aragorn!! How could you be so evil?? You need a RAPIST? How could you?" Pippin whacked Aragorn with a.a stick.
"Wha- OW!!."
"Hey.guys.should we tell Legolas that he's going to float down the waterfall if he doesn't stop floating soon?" Sam said. (Ooo.we haven't heard from him in a while.Oh, don't worry, Frodo's.somewhere. He got enuff screentime on the movie, he gets less here.) The Fellowship paused to think about this.
"Well, he DOES make decent scrambled eggs." Merry said.
"But he stole my map!" Aragorn said indignantly (don't you love these -ly words?).
"Well, if he dies, I claim his suction-cup arrows!" Pippin smiled.
"Well, I claim his bow and you can't shoot without a bow, so there!" Merry stuck his tongue out.
"Well, I claim his QUIVER! And you can't shoot without ARROWS, now can you? CAN you?" Pippin shot back. ('Shot' back.heehee.annnnd I'm guessing that wasn't funny.)
"Oh, shut up!!!" (the infamous words of Boromir) Boromir said, tying a blindfold around his eyes, "I'll just go warn him but I don't want to SEE him.so be on the lookout, guys, and warn me if I'm going to smack into a-" SMACK! Boromir walked right into a tree, "-tree,"
"Oh never mind! Just let me scream." Pippin offered. (I feel a headache coming on.)
"Uh oh." the rest of the Fellowship plugged their ears wisely.except for Legolas.
"LEEGGGOOLLLLAASSS!!!!!"
"ACCKK!" SPLASH! Legolas stopped floating.
"Heehee.that was fun." Pippin giggled. The rest of the Fellowship glared at him.
"Owwowwow.my perfect, delicate, Elven-sense of hearing." Legolas dressed quickly (do I hear a 'dammit!' among you rabid fangirls?.no, I suppose not..) and rubbed his ears as he walked over to the Fellow-heck, just 'everyone else' will do. (We all established the fact that Gandalf's "dead" so he's not included with 'everyone else'. Riiiight? Poor left-out git.)
To be continued! (We're not done with Amon Chi- I mean, Hen yet.mwahahahaha..AND DON'T FORGET THE EVIL PINK VIDEO TAPE! You thought I forgot about that, didn't you?.heeheeheeeheee..oh, but I DIDN'T...)
(Well..*hinthint*...it JUST might depend on the reviews..you know you want to..)
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