ANTI-DEPRESSANT FUNNESS!!!
randomwriter96
Disclaimer: I own nothing! But I still have my faithful jar of dill pickles. *pats jar despite the fact that there are no more pickles in there because a certain mysterious disembodied voice ate them all*
Btw~ Wow! I'm amazed at the reviews. ^_^ They make me so happy. Thank you!!! And also, thank you for reviewing more than once, k! *waves to k* I'm really honored that you come here just to read my story. *sniff*
Hinthint: The person who reviews the most, in total, is the next Presenter! ^_^ That should be interesting.
Moving on.
I promised to give a warning. Here it is. And you had better read it cuz I reeaaaally don't want to be blamed for giving out TTT spoilers. Unless, of course, you already read the book. Well, then, if you have, keep going and skip the warning!
WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING!!!!
Ok. Now you know that this is a warning. TTT SPOILER WARNING!!!!!
For those who are deprived, spoilers mean HINTS. BIGGER THAN HINTS. Spoilers tell you everything you want to know except that you DIDN'T want to know at that exact moment.
Did that confuse you?
Actually, you know what? This chapter really isn't much of a spoiler. Never mind.
******************************************************** [Random things going on after the Fellowship broke up.]
After their beautiful bouts of vomiting in the river (eww).
*cough*
*hack*
*cough*
*hackhack*
"Oh god, I feel so sick." Legolas moaned, clutching his stomach and digging through his pack for some Advil.
"I thought elves didn't get sick," Aragorn said, surprised (although he was still gasping for pain).
"We don't!" Legolas started panicking, as his Advil didn't seem to want to appear.
"Boy, that must be a REALLY evil tape." Aragorn mused as Gimli nodded.
"Hey.where's that Pippin.I bet you he stole my Advil." Legolas tried standing, but had to lean against a tree like his life depended on it.
"Where's Merry?" Aragorn looked around wildly.
"Where's Sam?"
"Where's Frodo?"
"You don't think they ABANDONED us, did you?"
"Of-of course not! They wouldn't.not after all we've been through!"
"That's not saying much."
"You're right." Aragorn sighed. What were they going to do all by themselves in the wilderness.the deep, dark, murky, frightening, wolves- howling-hungrily-at-night wilderness.the deep, dark, murky, frightening, wolves-howling-at-night, predators-hunting-for-tender-flesh-to-chew-upon wilderness.the deep, dark-
"I GET THE POINT!!!" Aragorn yelled into the clouds, covering his ears.shaking like a blending machine (must be fun to watch him do that.heehee!).
"Sorry! Jeez.I remember MY first time in the wilderness and that's EXACTLY what it was. The wilderness was deep, dark, murky, frightening." the mysterious disembodied voice reminisced.
"I'm scared." Legolas was hidden in the branches of the trees he was leaning on, making the leaves shake.
"Reminisced? Remanisked? What's that?" Aragorn said. A huge bright yellow neon screen popped down from the clouds in front of Aragorn, broadcasting: REMINISCED - To recollect and tell of past experiences or events.
"Ooo.hey! Legolas! Lookee! Isn't that cool?" Aragorn pointed excitedly to the neon sign. However, Legolas was fending off the most evil creature in the world: the fangirl. It all started 5 minutes ago when.
"Oh, LEGOLAS! SWEETHEART!! WHERE ARE YOU?? COME HERE, MY WEGOWAS."
"Eeep!" Legolas froze and stayed hidden in his tree. I mean, after hearing that, who wouldn't?
"THERE YOU ARE, MY WEGGY!!" the dreaded fangirl found him, using some unseen supernatural sniffing skills. Legolas quickly cut off a branch and poked it at the fangirl.
"Go away! Go away!" Legolas kept right on poking. However, the fangirl wasn't daunted at the least. In fact, she sort of expected it. She took out a switchblade and cut the stick in half, making the stick too short to be able to poke her.
"AGH!" Legolas hugged the nearest thick branch and squeezed his eyes shut as the fangirl drew ever closer.
"Are you afraid of me, dearest Weggy? I won't hurt you! Come here, sweetie."
"Ahhh! Why won't anyone leave me alone! I never hurt anyone! I don't deserve this!" Legolas sniffed and burst into tears. (Aww.)
"LEGOLAS! I SAID TO COME LOOK AT THE PRETTY SIGN! HOW MANY TIMES MUST I YELL? HAVE YOU GONE DEAF?" Aragorn's voice pierced the air. And for the first time, the elf was glad to hear it.
"ARAGORN! YOU HAVE TO COME SAVE ME!" Legolas yelled, his eyes big and blue, filled with a frightened disposition and the fangirl resorted to climbing up the tree. Aragorn meandered along and finally found Legolas's tree.
"Is that all?" he frowned, for he had expected at least 30 orcs.
"SHE'S A DANGER TO ALL HUMANITY!!! GET RID OF HER! MAKE HER GO AWAAAAY!" Legolas broke into a fresh wave of tears.
"Alrite.jeez, Legolas.I would've thought you could handle something like this.but, whatever, you owe me a favor."
"ANYTHING!" Legolas wept. Aragorn sauntered over and tugged on the fangirl's shoe. She fell to the floor and Aragorn poked her. She stood up quickly and saw Aragorn.
"Do you want to know the specific parts and uses of a male's genital parts? Because if you do, I can explain it all." Aragorn started. Screaming bloody murder, the fangirl ran away and disappeared. "Well, that was a piece of cake. Do you need help getting down a tree, Legolas?"
"No! I can do that by myself, thank you very much!" Legolas was infuriated at how Aragorn made the dreaded creature go away so easily. When they got back to where they were by the river.
"IT'S MINE!"
"MINE!"
"MINE!"
"MINE!"
"What's going on?" Legolas looked at Gimli, who was tugging at the neon sign while an invisible force was trying to pull it in the opposite direction. Gimli evidently thought neon was gold.
~Meanwhile.~
"Mwahaha! I'll get away from those crazy people and live happily by myself!" Frodo said gleefully as he darted behind trees towards the boats. As he hopped into one and felt very happy for himself, there came a.
"FRODO! WHERE THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?" Sam hopped into the boat, catapulting Frodo (who was on the other end) back to shore.
"AHHHH! LEAVE ME ALONE!!" Frodo buried himself in a pile of leaves.
"I'M NOT GOING TO LEAVE YOU ALONE UNTIL YOU THROW THAT RING INTO MOUNT DOOM!" Sam was pretty determined. The pile of leaves shook violently.
"Will you leave me alone if I throw that crummy ring into a volcano?" came Frodo's voice, muffled by the pile of leaves.
"Yes, Frodo, I will." Sam sighed and Frodo dashed out and hid himself under his own cloak at one end of the boat. Sam took up the paddle and started rowing them to.wherever they were supposed to row. Two blue eyes peeped out from underneath the cloak.
"Can't you go ANY faster?"
~And still meanwhile.~
"Where are we going?" Pippin said, as he was being thrown over the shoulder of an Uruk-Hai because his legs were too short.
"How should I know??" Merry scowled.
"Are we going to Happy Land?"
"What??"
"Happy Land!"
"What on Middle-Earth are you talking about, Pip?"
"Happy Land is the land of happy people."
"And where is this?"
".I don't really know."
"Then why would you think we're going to Happy Land at a time like this?" "I just know! I know we're going there! It's a beautiful place, Merry! It's got rows and rows of apple trees." Pippin rambled on.
"You go think that in your crazy nutshell of a brain, Pip." Merry was getting dizzy from all the blood rushing to his head.
".and waterfalls and MUSHROOMS and sparkling rivers."
Half an hour later.
".and ale and wine and beer and green grass and rolling hills."
Half an hour later.
".and hobbit children and fireworks and flowers and honey bees."
Half an hour later.
".and crackers and cake and candy and fireflies and dragonflies."
Half an hour later.
".and frogs to catch and bunnies and field mice."
"SHUT UP, PIPPIN!" cried Merry, plugging his ears.
"Okay.okay.just five more minutes!" Pippin replied.
Half an hour later.
".and mashed potatoes and green beans and poached eggs."
~Meanwhile.~
"MINE!!"
"MINE!!"
BEEP BEEP BEEP!
"Oh crap." the mysterious disembodied voice tried to keep hold of the neon sign and pick up the phone at the same time.but failed, "Hello? Margie! Sorry, hun, bad timing.what? Oh.you what? OHH! How awesome, dear.by the way.can you order another neon sign for me? Yellow? Hell no! I want it pink."
"Heeheehee! Mwahahaha.all mine! ALL MINE!.." the gleeful cacklings of Gimli echoed in the forest. Aragorn and Legolas looked at each other and understood.
"Extra-strength Tylenol?"
"You got it."
********************************************************
randomwriter96
Disclaimer: I own nothing! But I still have my faithful jar of dill pickles. *pats jar despite the fact that there are no more pickles in there because a certain mysterious disembodied voice ate them all*
Btw~ Wow! I'm amazed at the reviews. ^_^ They make me so happy. Thank you!!! And also, thank you for reviewing more than once, k! *waves to k* I'm really honored that you come here just to read my story. *sniff*
Hinthint: The person who reviews the most, in total, is the next Presenter! ^_^ That should be interesting.
Moving on.
I promised to give a warning. Here it is. And you had better read it cuz I reeaaaally don't want to be blamed for giving out TTT spoilers. Unless, of course, you already read the book. Well, then, if you have, keep going and skip the warning!
WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING!!!!
Ok. Now you know that this is a warning. TTT SPOILER WARNING!!!!!
For those who are deprived, spoilers mean HINTS. BIGGER THAN HINTS. Spoilers tell you everything you want to know except that you DIDN'T want to know at that exact moment.
Did that confuse you?
Actually, you know what? This chapter really isn't much of a spoiler. Never mind.
******************************************************** [Random things going on after the Fellowship broke up.]
After their beautiful bouts of vomiting in the river (eww).
*cough*
*hack*
*cough*
*hackhack*
"Oh god, I feel so sick." Legolas moaned, clutching his stomach and digging through his pack for some Advil.
"I thought elves didn't get sick," Aragorn said, surprised (although he was still gasping for pain).
"We don't!" Legolas started panicking, as his Advil didn't seem to want to appear.
"Boy, that must be a REALLY evil tape." Aragorn mused as Gimli nodded.
"Hey.where's that Pippin.I bet you he stole my Advil." Legolas tried standing, but had to lean against a tree like his life depended on it.
"Where's Merry?" Aragorn looked around wildly.
"Where's Sam?"
"Where's Frodo?"
"You don't think they ABANDONED us, did you?"
"Of-of course not! They wouldn't.not after all we've been through!"
"That's not saying much."
"You're right." Aragorn sighed. What were they going to do all by themselves in the wilderness.the deep, dark, murky, frightening, wolves- howling-hungrily-at-night wilderness.the deep, dark, murky, frightening, wolves-howling-at-night, predators-hunting-for-tender-flesh-to-chew-upon wilderness.the deep, dark-
"I GET THE POINT!!!" Aragorn yelled into the clouds, covering his ears.shaking like a blending machine (must be fun to watch him do that.heehee!).
"Sorry! Jeez.I remember MY first time in the wilderness and that's EXACTLY what it was. The wilderness was deep, dark, murky, frightening." the mysterious disembodied voice reminisced.
"I'm scared." Legolas was hidden in the branches of the trees he was leaning on, making the leaves shake.
"Reminisced? Remanisked? What's that?" Aragorn said. A huge bright yellow neon screen popped down from the clouds in front of Aragorn, broadcasting: REMINISCED - To recollect and tell of past experiences or events.
"Ooo.hey! Legolas! Lookee! Isn't that cool?" Aragorn pointed excitedly to the neon sign. However, Legolas was fending off the most evil creature in the world: the fangirl. It all started 5 minutes ago when.
"Oh, LEGOLAS! SWEETHEART!! WHERE ARE YOU?? COME HERE, MY WEGOWAS."
"Eeep!" Legolas froze and stayed hidden in his tree. I mean, after hearing that, who wouldn't?
"THERE YOU ARE, MY WEGGY!!" the dreaded fangirl found him, using some unseen supernatural sniffing skills. Legolas quickly cut off a branch and poked it at the fangirl.
"Go away! Go away!" Legolas kept right on poking. However, the fangirl wasn't daunted at the least. In fact, she sort of expected it. She took out a switchblade and cut the stick in half, making the stick too short to be able to poke her.
"AGH!" Legolas hugged the nearest thick branch and squeezed his eyes shut as the fangirl drew ever closer.
"Are you afraid of me, dearest Weggy? I won't hurt you! Come here, sweetie."
"Ahhh! Why won't anyone leave me alone! I never hurt anyone! I don't deserve this!" Legolas sniffed and burst into tears. (Aww.)
"LEGOLAS! I SAID TO COME LOOK AT THE PRETTY SIGN! HOW MANY TIMES MUST I YELL? HAVE YOU GONE DEAF?" Aragorn's voice pierced the air. And for the first time, the elf was glad to hear it.
"ARAGORN! YOU HAVE TO COME SAVE ME!" Legolas yelled, his eyes big and blue, filled with a frightened disposition and the fangirl resorted to climbing up the tree. Aragorn meandered along and finally found Legolas's tree.
"Is that all?" he frowned, for he had expected at least 30 orcs.
"SHE'S A DANGER TO ALL HUMANITY!!! GET RID OF HER! MAKE HER GO AWAAAAY!" Legolas broke into a fresh wave of tears.
"Alrite.jeez, Legolas.I would've thought you could handle something like this.but, whatever, you owe me a favor."
"ANYTHING!" Legolas wept. Aragorn sauntered over and tugged on the fangirl's shoe. She fell to the floor and Aragorn poked her. She stood up quickly and saw Aragorn.
"Do you want to know the specific parts and uses of a male's genital parts? Because if you do, I can explain it all." Aragorn started. Screaming bloody murder, the fangirl ran away and disappeared. "Well, that was a piece of cake. Do you need help getting down a tree, Legolas?"
"No! I can do that by myself, thank you very much!" Legolas was infuriated at how Aragorn made the dreaded creature go away so easily. When they got back to where they were by the river.
"IT'S MINE!"
"MINE!"
"MINE!"
"MINE!"
"What's going on?" Legolas looked at Gimli, who was tugging at the neon sign while an invisible force was trying to pull it in the opposite direction. Gimli evidently thought neon was gold.
~Meanwhile.~
"Mwahaha! I'll get away from those crazy people and live happily by myself!" Frodo said gleefully as he darted behind trees towards the boats. As he hopped into one and felt very happy for himself, there came a.
"FRODO! WHERE THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?" Sam hopped into the boat, catapulting Frodo (who was on the other end) back to shore.
"AHHHH! LEAVE ME ALONE!!" Frodo buried himself in a pile of leaves.
"I'M NOT GOING TO LEAVE YOU ALONE UNTIL YOU THROW THAT RING INTO MOUNT DOOM!" Sam was pretty determined. The pile of leaves shook violently.
"Will you leave me alone if I throw that crummy ring into a volcano?" came Frodo's voice, muffled by the pile of leaves.
"Yes, Frodo, I will." Sam sighed and Frodo dashed out and hid himself under his own cloak at one end of the boat. Sam took up the paddle and started rowing them to.wherever they were supposed to row. Two blue eyes peeped out from underneath the cloak.
"Can't you go ANY faster?"
~And still meanwhile.~
"Where are we going?" Pippin said, as he was being thrown over the shoulder of an Uruk-Hai because his legs were too short.
"How should I know??" Merry scowled.
"Are we going to Happy Land?"
"What??"
"Happy Land!"
"What on Middle-Earth are you talking about, Pip?"
"Happy Land is the land of happy people."
"And where is this?"
".I don't really know."
"Then why would you think we're going to Happy Land at a time like this?" "I just know! I know we're going there! It's a beautiful place, Merry! It's got rows and rows of apple trees." Pippin rambled on.
"You go think that in your crazy nutshell of a brain, Pip." Merry was getting dizzy from all the blood rushing to his head.
".and waterfalls and MUSHROOMS and sparkling rivers."
Half an hour later.
".and ale and wine and beer and green grass and rolling hills."
Half an hour later.
".and hobbit children and fireworks and flowers and honey bees."
Half an hour later.
".and crackers and cake and candy and fireflies and dragonflies."
Half an hour later.
".and frogs to catch and bunnies and field mice."
"SHUT UP, PIPPIN!" cried Merry, plugging his ears.
"Okay.okay.just five more minutes!" Pippin replied.
Half an hour later.
".and mashed potatoes and green beans and poached eggs."
~Meanwhile.~
"MINE!!"
"MINE!!"
BEEP BEEP BEEP!
"Oh crap." the mysterious disembodied voice tried to keep hold of the neon sign and pick up the phone at the same time.but failed, "Hello? Margie! Sorry, hun, bad timing.what? Oh.you what? OHH! How awesome, dear.by the way.can you order another neon sign for me? Yellow? Hell no! I want it pink."
"Heeheehee! Mwahahaha.all mine! ALL MINE!.." the gleeful cacklings of Gimli echoed in the forest. Aragorn and Legolas looked at each other and understood.
"Extra-strength Tylenol?"
"You got it."
********************************************************