~Jesse's POV~
I splash cold water on my face in the upstairs bathroom. Resisting my true emotions, like I've always done, I have to pretend not to care. I feel like someone's taken a scythe to my body and hacked until there's nothing left. Energy drains out of every pore and I collapse against the wall. A knock on the door comes soon after.
"Jess, you okay?"
"Yeah, Mia. I'm fine. What would be wrong?"
"Well. Gin.."
"Just another girl, Mia. No feelings, no problem right? That's the way I play it."
"Yeah, but Jess...." Mia is stopped by Leon. I can hear his slightly gruff voice in the hall, but can't make out the words. Nevertheless, I am once again left alone. Slowly I rise to my feet, and make my way to my room. All I want to do is sleep, because unconsciousness is the only thing that can stop me from feeling. I close my eyes and thankfully fall into a restful zone.
A few hours later, I wake up in a cold sweat. I can't fall asleep again so I go downstairs to be comforted by the glow of the television. Letty is already down there, watching some guy put together a Mustang. "No man! You're doing it all wrong!" Letty says, intently watching his motions as if he were right in front of her. I sit down next to her and she smiles, then goes back to watching. "How do guys like this get jobs fixing cars, man? It's just wrong."
I don't say anything, just sit silently next to her. She'll talk to me eventually, but not until she wants to know. "You're up early." I say to her. "Usually, we have to pry you out of bed with a crowbar."
"I could say the same for you. I just...couldn't sleep. Had things on my mind. Why're you up?"
"Same."
"So what happened?" Letty asks, knowing I know very well what she means.
"I have no idea. But, just another face in the crowd right?"
"Jess.."Letty shakes her head. "You don't have to play it off. I know it was different."
"It wasn't different. Just like any other race whore I hooked up with."
"She wasn't a race whore."
"That's not what I mean."
"I know. And I also know that you didn't feel the same about her as you did about those race whores."
"You're right. I didn't sleep with Gin. So I guess I felt even less..."
"JESSE!" Letty exclaims exasperated. "You foolin' yourself if you think I don't know you. I saw the way you looked at her man. There was no lust. It was all like...and then love. When Hector said he liked Gin and Dom said she'd be sticking around, your face lit up like Vegas at the thought."
"Let, I know you know me...Shit, you know me way too well. But as long as I play it off, people don't see my...hurt.....my heart. I've never given it away before. I've never wanted to."
"If there's anyone who knows how you feel, it's probably me. I had to wait 7 years for Dom to love me, and it crushed me every time he was with another girl. But....having him now is completely worth those 7 years. It's worth 100 more. Jess, it's not over yet unless you want it to be. I don't know all the details, so I don't know if you guys can get back together, but really, at least get some answers as to why."
"Let....thanks." I get up from my seat on the couch and walk out the front door to sit on the front steps. There's a tiny portable radio sitting on the third step and I turn it on, figuring some noise might clear my head a little. I turn it on and its static-y tuning blares music. Sister Hazel- "Your Winter," I continue tuning. Rick Springfield- "Jesse's Girl," I curse. "Christ! What are they trying to do to me? I continue tuning to a station that's playing Train, "Meet Virginia." "What the F! Is someone out to get me?" I turn off the radio and just sit, watching the last few stars disappear into the morning sky. Talking to Letty helped, and now I know it's not over...not yet.
I crawl back to bed and this time, I'm able to recapture slumber. I awake a few hours later feeling a lot better and willing to go see Gin. I take a quick shower and throw on some pants, a beater, a jeans vest, and one of my beanies. Figuring I should call before just barging over to her house I pick up the phone.
"Hello?" A voice asks.
"Hi, is Gin home?"
"This is Gin."
"It's Jesse." I say. "I need to talk to you."
"There's nothing to talk about Jesse."
"Yes there is. So many things."
"Jesse, what we have...had...is done."
"But I don't want it to be."
"Accept it for what it is, what it was. I've got to go now." The phone clicks dead.
Hurriedly, I hang up and call her back. The phone picks up.
"Gin.Gin?" The phone clicks dead once again.
I dial once more and the line is busy...She's taken the phone off the hook. I figure I'll wait a little while before I drive over to try to talk to her. Going into the kitchen I fill a bowl with cereal and a glass with orange juice. I sit at the table, across from Mia, and watch her do a crossword puzzle of rock history. Brian comes down the stairs, rubbing sleep out of his eyes and he hugs her. She laughs and I can't wait any longer. I want Gin back, or I want answers.
The Jetta's tires squeal in my haste and I commit several traffic violations more than usual driving to her house. I get out and knock on the front door. A maid answers.
"Is Gin home?"
"She's not here right now." The maid says a little curtly, though I am pretty sure she's lying because I hear voices in the living room.
"Ok, I'll come back later." I half-smile and walk back to my car. When the maid closes the door I sneak around the side of the house towards the sliding glass door at the back. I can see better from there. Slowly, I quietly sneak around and peer into the window, cupping my hands around my eyes on the glass. What I see gives me a shock. Gin is wrapped in the arms of a curly dark-haired guy sitting on a huge chair. He's running his hand through her hair and her head is laid on his chest. One of the guy's arms is around her waist. They're talking, but I can't hear anything through the glass. Without warning, she looks up and sees me standing at the glass. She looks surprised, but closes her eyes, and if I didn't know better, I'd say tears showed themselves from her eyelashes. I walk straight back to my car before she opens her eyes again.
Entering the house once again, Letty looks at me questioningly from her perch on a chair.
"Done." I say. "Someone else."
She nods, saying nothing, and comes to give me a hug. We embrace for a few seconds and then she returns to her chair. That's what I need right now. Loner time.
~Gin's POV~
I cry freely for the first time in a while. Jack strokes my hair and holds me tight. God, this guy is so great.
"Gin, I don't get it. Why do you distrust so much?"
"I don't know. Maybe because of Tristan?"
"But you knew he was a player when you started dating him. And that was 2 years ago."
"Yeah, I know. And I know Tristan is truly a good guy and that he's just not the faithful, one-woman type, but it didn't not hurt, after I'd been so stupid. So there within lies some insecurity, plus the fact that my father was a cheater. "
"Yeah. I know. You've had it pretty rough, babe. But, que sera sera, girl. If it's meant to be, it will all work out."
~Jesse's POV~
I know I saw her with another guy, but I still haven't given up complete hope. Maybe she'll come see me...Maybe....
~Ok, so have I got you good and confused? Hope so! REVIEWS! Ive got the next two chapters written and you wont get to find out what happens if you don't review. I could hold the chapter off for a day..a week..a month..depends on reviews!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~
I splash cold water on my face in the upstairs bathroom. Resisting my true emotions, like I've always done, I have to pretend not to care. I feel like someone's taken a scythe to my body and hacked until there's nothing left. Energy drains out of every pore and I collapse against the wall. A knock on the door comes soon after.
"Jess, you okay?"
"Yeah, Mia. I'm fine. What would be wrong?"
"Well. Gin.."
"Just another girl, Mia. No feelings, no problem right? That's the way I play it."
"Yeah, but Jess...." Mia is stopped by Leon. I can hear his slightly gruff voice in the hall, but can't make out the words. Nevertheless, I am once again left alone. Slowly I rise to my feet, and make my way to my room. All I want to do is sleep, because unconsciousness is the only thing that can stop me from feeling. I close my eyes and thankfully fall into a restful zone.
A few hours later, I wake up in a cold sweat. I can't fall asleep again so I go downstairs to be comforted by the glow of the television. Letty is already down there, watching some guy put together a Mustang. "No man! You're doing it all wrong!" Letty says, intently watching his motions as if he were right in front of her. I sit down next to her and she smiles, then goes back to watching. "How do guys like this get jobs fixing cars, man? It's just wrong."
I don't say anything, just sit silently next to her. She'll talk to me eventually, but not until she wants to know. "You're up early." I say to her. "Usually, we have to pry you out of bed with a crowbar."
"I could say the same for you. I just...couldn't sleep. Had things on my mind. Why're you up?"
"Same."
"So what happened?" Letty asks, knowing I know very well what she means.
"I have no idea. But, just another face in the crowd right?"
"Jess.."Letty shakes her head. "You don't have to play it off. I know it was different."
"It wasn't different. Just like any other race whore I hooked up with."
"She wasn't a race whore."
"That's not what I mean."
"I know. And I also know that you didn't feel the same about her as you did about those race whores."
"You're right. I didn't sleep with Gin. So I guess I felt even less..."
"JESSE!" Letty exclaims exasperated. "You foolin' yourself if you think I don't know you. I saw the way you looked at her man. There was no lust. It was all like...and then love. When Hector said he liked Gin and Dom said she'd be sticking around, your face lit up like Vegas at the thought."
"Let, I know you know me...Shit, you know me way too well. But as long as I play it off, people don't see my...hurt.....my heart. I've never given it away before. I've never wanted to."
"If there's anyone who knows how you feel, it's probably me. I had to wait 7 years for Dom to love me, and it crushed me every time he was with another girl. But....having him now is completely worth those 7 years. It's worth 100 more. Jess, it's not over yet unless you want it to be. I don't know all the details, so I don't know if you guys can get back together, but really, at least get some answers as to why."
"Let....thanks." I get up from my seat on the couch and walk out the front door to sit on the front steps. There's a tiny portable radio sitting on the third step and I turn it on, figuring some noise might clear my head a little. I turn it on and its static-y tuning blares music. Sister Hazel- "Your Winter," I continue tuning. Rick Springfield- "Jesse's Girl," I curse. "Christ! What are they trying to do to me? I continue tuning to a station that's playing Train, "Meet Virginia." "What the F! Is someone out to get me?" I turn off the radio and just sit, watching the last few stars disappear into the morning sky. Talking to Letty helped, and now I know it's not over...not yet.
I crawl back to bed and this time, I'm able to recapture slumber. I awake a few hours later feeling a lot better and willing to go see Gin. I take a quick shower and throw on some pants, a beater, a jeans vest, and one of my beanies. Figuring I should call before just barging over to her house I pick up the phone.
"Hello?" A voice asks.
"Hi, is Gin home?"
"This is Gin."
"It's Jesse." I say. "I need to talk to you."
"There's nothing to talk about Jesse."
"Yes there is. So many things."
"Jesse, what we have...had...is done."
"But I don't want it to be."
"Accept it for what it is, what it was. I've got to go now." The phone clicks dead.
Hurriedly, I hang up and call her back. The phone picks up.
"Gin.Gin?" The phone clicks dead once again.
I dial once more and the line is busy...She's taken the phone off the hook. I figure I'll wait a little while before I drive over to try to talk to her. Going into the kitchen I fill a bowl with cereal and a glass with orange juice. I sit at the table, across from Mia, and watch her do a crossword puzzle of rock history. Brian comes down the stairs, rubbing sleep out of his eyes and he hugs her. She laughs and I can't wait any longer. I want Gin back, or I want answers.
The Jetta's tires squeal in my haste and I commit several traffic violations more than usual driving to her house. I get out and knock on the front door. A maid answers.
"Is Gin home?"
"She's not here right now." The maid says a little curtly, though I am pretty sure she's lying because I hear voices in the living room.
"Ok, I'll come back later." I half-smile and walk back to my car. When the maid closes the door I sneak around the side of the house towards the sliding glass door at the back. I can see better from there. Slowly, I quietly sneak around and peer into the window, cupping my hands around my eyes on the glass. What I see gives me a shock. Gin is wrapped in the arms of a curly dark-haired guy sitting on a huge chair. He's running his hand through her hair and her head is laid on his chest. One of the guy's arms is around her waist. They're talking, but I can't hear anything through the glass. Without warning, she looks up and sees me standing at the glass. She looks surprised, but closes her eyes, and if I didn't know better, I'd say tears showed themselves from her eyelashes. I walk straight back to my car before she opens her eyes again.
Entering the house once again, Letty looks at me questioningly from her perch on a chair.
"Done." I say. "Someone else."
She nods, saying nothing, and comes to give me a hug. We embrace for a few seconds and then she returns to her chair. That's what I need right now. Loner time.
~Gin's POV~
I cry freely for the first time in a while. Jack strokes my hair and holds me tight. God, this guy is so great.
"Gin, I don't get it. Why do you distrust so much?"
"I don't know. Maybe because of Tristan?"
"But you knew he was a player when you started dating him. And that was 2 years ago."
"Yeah, I know. And I know Tristan is truly a good guy and that he's just not the faithful, one-woman type, but it didn't not hurt, after I'd been so stupid. So there within lies some insecurity, plus the fact that my father was a cheater. "
"Yeah. I know. You've had it pretty rough, babe. But, que sera sera, girl. If it's meant to be, it will all work out."
~Jesse's POV~
I know I saw her with another guy, but I still haven't given up complete hope. Maybe she'll come see me...Maybe....
~Ok, so have I got you good and confused? Hope so! REVIEWS! Ive got the next two chapters written and you wont get to find out what happens if you don't review. I could hold the chapter off for a day..a week..a month..depends on reviews!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~